[FICTION] Mr. Awesomest's Massive Monster Mammajams

[Mr. Awesomest]

This thread is for my stories, though mainly one that I will be working on for quite some time, because it's going to be BIG. And it's going to be GRAND. I have a complete skeleton for the story, but only so little of it is actually written, therefore it may take several months, perhaps a year if I work slow enough, but I feel it's time I released something.

WARNING: LONG, for a teaser.

“You can't just let her be!”

When you hear the words “teased” and “bullied”, you tend to think of school and kids.

“She's a good child, she wouldn't abuse it.”

But, due to private schooling, to royalty it is different.

“Bias!”

The names are the same...

“You fail to see I am being honest.”

But they all come with sticks and stones.

“Your daughter has the temper like the fire she throws! She is not fit for royal power!”

The girl in question sat next to her father. When these trials first began, she was not anxious or worried, but as the trials progressed, and she pieced it all together, she figured out just how much this trial could effect her life.

The king was annoyed. “She's helped this whole kingdom with it, even you! Surely that has earned your trust by now?”

But now it's just routine.

“You aren't BORN a dictator, you BECOME one. With time. All it would take for your daughter to become a genocidal tyrant would be some off words.”

“Like the ones leaving your mouth?”

“Is that a threat, my king?”

“It's the truth.”

“We've been through this times before, do I have to say it again? If she gets mad at that, then she shouldn't be able to inherit the throne!”

“Because she has rational feelings?”

The noble rose from his seat. “What are you implying?!”

The judge slammed the gavel on his well-furnished and designed desk.

“Calm down, sir.” The judge ordered, laying the wooden hammer's head on the pedestal he whacked.

“She has notable, prominent anger problems, she has proved their existence in the past, and you're telling me if she kicked her flaming high heels in my eye, it would be rational?!” The paranoid noble exclaimed.

The king looked back at him with low, flat, and annoyed eyebrows. “In the past. She has, since, learned to control most of it. Most of her irrationalities, at least. Unlike you.”

CLACK CLACK CLACK

“That's enough of you two.” The judge complained, sensing anger spark up between the two. “Now, if the Jury has anything new to say...”

And they didn't. Six say guilty and six say innocent on a trial of twelve. A tie. At first, it was unsettling, so they replaced the jury. The second tie, which was the next court case, it was confusing. The third, the case after that, outrageous. The more it went on, the more it seemed like some cruel joke found only on political cartoons; the entire kingdom is split so evenly on a topic, they can't pull in a jury with more people in favor of either side than the other. Even the girl herself felt split.

Perhaps that's what it is, a cruel joke played by the populace. The political cartoon joke may be accurate, but there was one thing it couldn't have gotten right: It assumed that it had to end at some point, and it was just to tease the poor girl. They thought it would be over in a month. A month turned into half a year, and then into a full year. Eventually, one who would normally say guilty would say innocent, and close the case, but that is when another noble comes in, and starts the same exact thing as the last one, perhaps with fabrications about the girl ready to spew from their mouths. It all felt like one case, with different plaintiffs every couple of months.

When the anniversary of the trials beginning hit, most people stopped listening to juries. That's when it stopped being a trial by jury, but an argument between a king and a legion of nobles over a girl's right to marry, inherit the throne, stay within the royal palace, stay within the kingdom, and to live, right in front of her.

And she just sat there with a cold, blank stare.

“Another tie by the jury.” The judge said, putting on tone of false amusement. He took a pen and marked a tally on an old piece of paper with hundreds of other marks across it. “Day number six of the sixteenth trial of Princess Blaze, no verdict. Two weeks from now, you three will return at the same time to this court to continue.”

“Yes, your honor.” The defendant and the plaintiff said in unison.

The judge nodded. “Good. It would be nice to come to some conclusion of this whole debacle after... what, seven years?”

The king shook his head. “If the jury is honestly split like that, let it be..."

The judge sighed.

“This system is biased.” The noble groaned on the way out.

The judge etched his fingernail onto his desk, gaining a smile. “And that's the two hundredth time I have heard in my court room. Congratulations.”

The same people. The same time. Every two weeks. For two hours. For seven years. Seven and half, to be specific. Repeatedly told by old, respected nobles, that she is “too powerful” for the throne, claiming she'd kill those who pose a threat to her or get in the way of what she wants. Her father, protecting his only child took the matter into his own hands to defend his daughter's reputation. He had never expected the noble families his ancestors befriended would be so stubborn about it. So stubborn, that they persisted for seven years; from the moment she, as a seven year old, had only overreacted to a simple cat joke, through the times she saved her world and her people, including those angry lords, to this current day.

And there was no end in sight, even after years of repetitive trial. The appearance of a new argument was rare. They said the same things, present the same arguments, same counterarguments, and it all looped back to the first one. “Pyromaniac.” “Freak.” “Pussy.” And unlike any normal case of teasing and bullying, there was no “my dad can beat up your dad” or “I could beat up you” way out. Those would only prove his point. Due to law, she had to sit and listen to the paranoid and crazed men insult her every other Wednesday from the day she turned seven until now, when she was fourteen for half a year. Not because they are right, but because they had believed some day she could snap and ruin the country she worked so hard to save, and if her father were to simply decline and send them off, they would get the media and the people against them. They would rebel. So instead of shooing them away and dealing with a rebellion, the king took it in the mannered and civilized way he did.

But this wasn't law. It couldn't be. Blaze didn't see these as actual court cases, not anymore. She just saw them as anger management sessions for the royal nobles to let out all their anger at a girl, calling her a witch. She was fine with other insults, but “witch” hit her hardest, because of how they were treated in the old world.

The society did not smile upon those with special powers, especially witches. They watched with cautious eyes, since most people that did, did not use them for good deeds. They were a rare breed, and for the rare breed, they used rare punishments for their crimes to discourage the rest. These punishments were typically old fashioned. Old fashioned, as in lynching, beheading, iron maidens, roasting, and such, depending on how they used their powers. Some would call it barbaric. Although she wasn't doomed if found guilty, people wouldn't be to happy if she ever used them again.

Yet, disregarding all of the hate, Blaze used her powers to protect her people from Eggman Nega, the constant, relentless and psychotic threat to the whole planet. Not just her people, but the nobles as well. And still, they wanted her hanging from a rope around her neck on her own front lawn. With nobles forming lines to harass her by trial, she swore there was some conspiracy against her.

She hated politics.

As she was walked outside, the roar of the crowds filled her ears. Whether they were shouting at her, or shouting at people with a different opinion on her, whether it is for or against her royalty status, she hated it. She wished she could just turn off her ears. She'd be fine if she didn't have to come to the court trials, but the law required her to.

In an attempt to ignore the crowd, she looked at the snipers. They were her guards from afar. From the moment her father told her she had seven teams of two watching over her every time she walked out of the court room, she spent the walks back to the armored car looking for them, spending seconds at a time. She never met any in person, and did not know which group she found. She found six total. She never quite found the last one.

But then, something shook. The something budged on the roof of the building just to the right. Blaze slowed down to see what it was. Whatever it was, it was not there now. She walked down the walkway toward the escort car a few more steps, and just as she was at the door, she looked again.

There he was. White, yellow eyes, holding a rifle, pointing it straight at her.

All the other snipers were dressed in black.

And that's when she realized she stopped moving completely.

…

Blaze glared at the assassin's only slightly faster boat from the bow of her only slightly slower battleship, and groaned.

She chased him all across the capital city to the ports, and she almost had him, but he had taken a speedboat that already had the engine started there. Sure, she was currently aboard the Ocean Tornado, which along with the Deep Typhoon was taken from Marine with permission (and on the grounds that they were plain dangerous in seven year old hands) when Blaze returned to the mainland, and it could blow the tiny boat to bits very quickly, but by the time it would take to turn the ships guns toward the boat and aim, he would already be near the edge of reasonable combat range. The range alone is enough to disqualify the flamethrower. And even then, it's too fast of a target to attempt to combat with cannons, and too small to be hit with a machine gun, from this distance at least. It wasn't much faster than this battleship, but it was enough that by the boat turned to open fire, the speedboat would have a second or two window of being vulnerable until the shooters are just guessing where the rounds will land. So all they could do was follow him until he landed somewhere, or stopped. It was fast enough to get away, but slow enough to mock Blaze further.

Which brought her to the next question: How much planning did the assassin do? Blaze saw that he had simply knocked out the sniper team stationed on the building, took the rifle, and shot at her. And missed. Then, taking a completely improvised route with a lot of pushing and shoving involved, he found the port, took a speed boat, and head off. Given the rest of his “plan”, it probably wasn't even his. Regardless, he executed what little of an idea he had to do decently, minus the killing her part.

“Your highne-Um, Blaze...” Gardon began, correcting himself to what he remembered her preferring. “We have identified the assassin.”

“I already know.” Blaze responded. “I hate politics, but I have to follow them.”

Gardon understood. “Ah, yes.”

To top it all off, she knew who the assassin was. A prince of a rival kingdom, which was in shambles. Because he thought the majority of his people were perfect. He was too naïve. He expected too much from his people. She almost felt sorry for the situation his nation was in, but now she didn't give a second thought. Nations other than hers were not her problem, and the attempt on her life ruined any positives the nation might have had for her. Blaze didn't know what she'd do to him when she got her hands on her. Probably return the assassination favor. Maybe she was too hateful, but she couldn't think of anything that could lead to another friend over the fact that he just tried to end her life.

“And Blaze?” Gardon asked again.

“What?” She asked.

“There is a nasty storm ahead, and he's heading right into it.” Gardon explained.

“Really? With just a speed boat?” Blaze wondered. She was a bit worried she wouldn't get revenge.

Gardon nodded. “Yes. There have been cyclones spotted within it.”

Blaze shook her head in disbelief. “I wouldn't think he had nothing prepared for us this whole time. Get ready for an ambush of some kind. And maybe while he's trying to get over the waves, we could plow through them and get some good shots off. Maybe.”

“Yes, your majesty!” Gardon saluted, accidentally letting the “majesty” out from his lips, before turning to shout orders to the crew members. As Gardon let the term slip from his mouth, Blaze did as well. She didn't like nagging on people for the smallest things.

Looking at the boat ride into the storm, Blaze wondered quietly, as if to speak to her attacker. “What are you doing?”

As the two ships dredged deeper into the storm, it got worse and worse. The waves slammed onto the sides of the boat, and winds ripped as whirlwinds formed and made the situation all the more worse. The assassin's speed boat had to have been flipped at least once, but it always landed in a proper functioning condition.

As the scene got more and more confusing, the less she cared about the thunder, rain and lightning, and the more she focused about the speedboat's miraculous landing ability. Waves that managed to reach over the hull and hit the deck of the Ocean Tornado would send the tiny speed boat straight into the air, but then it would backflip, and land as if it went off a tiny ramp. It was irritating to watch. She felt her hair stand on end. Despite her dull pains, she almost managed to block out the rest of the world.

“Blaze!” Gardon tried shouting over the fierce winds, to no avail.

She squinted her eyes. It really was irritating to watch. Her eyes felt dull pains, she was feeling tense, and she felt some different presence of force amongst the now-drowned out thunder, rain and lightning. It was something more... exotic than the winds. She wondered what it was, until she widened her eyes. Then she noticed something in the corner of her eye and realized what was making her tense

A tornado was getting within close vicinity of the ship was pulsing in a green aura.

She looked over one last time to the speed boat, to see it was turning, and in the driver's seat, she could see the assassin waving.

Before Blaze could shoot off every rude hand gesture she knew at him within seconds, the Ocean Tornado tilted the other way, into the cyclone.

It was a massive cyclone of immense force. It was so strong, not only was it pushing the boat not from the wind hitting the sails but instead the wind hitting the stern of the boat, but it was creating a whirlpool, which sent the ship going faster, and closer to the tornado. Things on the boat were being lifted now, and people were grabbing onto whatever they could. Blaze grabbed onto the railing, while Gardon, desperate and in the middle between the railings, sunk his sword into the ship's deck at an angle, all the way until at least half the blade was under the deck, and held onto the handguards.

Everyone was ready for the ship to start being ripped apart, inevitably sinking the ship, killing most of the crew, a miracle that involved Blaze being the lone survivor, or some such event, when suddenly the green aura receded. As it receded, so did all the forces of nature. The vicious cyclone seemed to stop, the ship was beginning to rebalance itself, and not a wave hit the side of the ship.

Then came the flash.

PWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Great, I can't wait to do nothing for several months, writing only paragraphs at a time! Yay perfectionism!

Edited March 1, 2012 by Mr. Awesomest

[Smock]

That was pretty awesome, Awesomest. I really like the entire world that you've made, what with the politikicks and such, even just the little we've seen of it. Can't wait to see the conspiracy UNFOLD and what kind of automotive brands the tornado is carrying. The title also brings up a lot of questions, dude. :V

Anyways, brilliant. Can't wait for more.

Edited January 5, 2012 by SockDrawer

[Mr. Awesomest]

The title also brings up a lot of questions, dude. :V

Edited January 15, 2012 by Mr. Awesomest

[Mr. Awesomest]

Alright, here's a prologue (if you could call it that after I released that teaser, which is longer)

PROLOUGE: IT BEGINS

Sonic walked through the Green Hill Zone, gazing around the luscious, beautiful landscape that brought fond memories, whistling the Green Hill theme.

Moments ago, the azure hedgehog received a call from Tails. Something was happening over by Emerald Coast. Tails said a storm was brewing, but not just any storm. Not only did the storm itself look pretty nasty, Tails detected some unnatural power from within it. He thought it would be best to have the number one go-to guy for rescuing, evacuating, and world saving around when trouble starts.

Sonic, having finished his nostalogic stroll through memory lane, picked up the pace, and dashed. Within minutes, he was in the city, which was beginning to look gloomy from the approaching storm, but not over-dramatically morose. At the edge of the city, it looked partly cloudy. However, it was a large city, and as Sonic raced through, it got darker, windier, and differences in the density of it all was drastic even when comparing one block to the one next to it.

When Sonic had reached the beach, he saw that GUN had managed to weave its way through the harsh storms and onto the beach, standing by in case anything bad were to happen. There was also a large metal box with a couple windows, a door that is well protected from the elements, and a large decal on the side, displaying two orange tails. It was Tails' on-site shelter for drastic conditions. It withstood the powerful winds, had deployable wheels so it could be moved around, and the entire shelter was built so that if it detects the whole shelter rotating, airbags would spring up to protect everyone inside. Sonic had seen the two tailed fox build this shelter in the spare time between adventures, and even though it was for only a few minutes, the complexity and all the things taken into account for its design amazed him.

The door swung open.

“Get inside!” Tails shouted to his best friend, holding the door open against the harsh winds. The 'porch' section, the metal walls extending two feet out to ensure the door could be opened in more situations, did little to stop the severe wind.

Sonic jogged in through the door, and Tails quickly slammed it shut.

“Hey Sonic!” Tails greeted. “Glad you could make it. I'm sure you saw how bad this is.”

“Sorry I took so long, I was running from someone.” He apologized.

“Who?” Tails asked.

“You know very well who.” Sonic said.

Tails took his mind off that and began to focus on the topic at hand.“Okay, for the most part, the storm has stopped moving, it's just staying in the same place. It's slowly gaining more energy, though, so sit tight.” Tails explained.

Sonic nodded. No need for words.

They watched the storm. Tails usually watched his laptop monitor which was displaying a heat map of emerald coast, measuring the intensity of the energy in specific areas, while Sonic eyed the storm through the thick glass. Sometimes Sonic would look at the monitor, trying to make sense of it, while Tails would peek at the hurricane itself.

Sonic walked over to the monitor, leaned on the counter top, and examined the heat map. He saw that most of the storm was green, while the middle was yellow, and the dead center orange. He could see the blobs of color slowly expanding through the top of the computer window.

“This is abnormal power?” Sonic asked, bored and hardly interested. “Stuff that normally isn't there?”

“Yes, it is.” Tails explained over his shoulder.

“And, how does this heat map thing work? Satellite?”

“Sensors. I planted two when I got here, and I gave two to the GUN forces to plant as far as they wanted, as I had to set up shop with this shelter. It's live, and the program I'm using focuses on the center, so if they brought it up more, it would expand upward.”

Sonic then noticed a scroll bar to the side. Apparently, Tails was only looking at half of what was going on. GUN managed to bring the sensors closer to the sea. Useful for once, at least to Sonic and Tails. Normally, they jailed or shot at him for just passing by. Perhaps it was the way he passed by. Curious, Sonic grabbed the bar and brought it upward to view the newly scanned areas.

At the very top of the screen, he saw a hotspot of energy. Coming from the spot were a stream of green dots.

“Umm...” Sonic dragged on, stopping himself from panicking. He dragged the bar back down to look at the storm itself on the heat map again. It was expanding as it was before.

Sonic scrolled back up.

The hotspot of energy was suddenly launched toward the storm. Sonic followed it as it turned whatever spot it touched one tier up; blue turned to green, green turned to yellow, the yellow into orange, and orange into red. When the hotspot had stopped inside the red, the red had turned into a blinking strobe, signaling that it was an incredible amount of power.

Sonic stared at the screen with his jaw dropped in shock. He had only a clue of how the heat map worked and the scale of the energy at work, but believed he understood what he just saw. “... Son of a-”

“Sonic! Come look!” Tails shouted.

Sonic quickly stood up and ran over to the window. Glistening green particles rose from the sea and into the clouds. And, as the green particles were absorbed into the cloud, turning it green, a tornado began to form, with green lines coursing through it.

“UH OH.” Sonic said.

The tornado began to form a large light green light from the center, as the intensity of the brightness in the lines grew

“UH OOOOOOOH!” Sonic boomed.

Suddenly, the light receded, for a moment. And throughout that moment, Sonic wondered what those green specs of energy were, and what they were meant to do.

But then came the flash.

The flash blinded them for a split second. It did not leave their vision impaired for the moment after, or anything. Just a very bright flash. It seemed alien to Tails, but Sonic thought he had a slightest clue. As soon as the flash ended and he could see again, Sonic, curious as to what the monitor looked like, quickly glanced over at the monitor for a short moment. He saw a huge sea of green-level energy dispersing over the entire area.

Looking back to the window, the tornado had disappeared, and in its place thankfully was not a giant monster like he had feared. It was a ship. A large ship, with water-wheels and appeared to be an umbrella. On the side were several canons, and on the side of the ship were a heavy caliber machine gun and an odd looking ranged weapon with the tip burnt black.

The brotherly friends stared as it fell into the ocean, causing the water to splash high above the deck. With the abnormal energy leaving the area also left the natural energy. The winds died down and the rain stopped, but the clouds were still overhead, as grim as ever. Both of them were confused, but on different topics.

“How did that ship get there? It looks awfully familiar.”

Sonic was opening the door to the structure. “Because you built it.”

So yeah anyone have a clue what to call this thing, because I have no clue.

[Cola]

I love this fanfic too much.

Awesomest is a superb writer, and I love working with him.

[Mr. Awesomest]

EURIKA.

I HAVE IT.

The Fall

Chapter 1: Why Are We Here?

Sonic and Tails shipped off on a small rowboat. The tides of Emerald Coast have calmed, but the sky was still cloudy.

“The green lights didn't look familiar to you?” Sonic asked his friend.

Tails was feeling a bit shameful that he didn't remember them. “No, not at the time...”

“We flew right into one of them, almost got us killed, and you don't remember it?” Sonic went on, grabbing a grappling hook. They were given the grappling hook to board the ship by GUN. When they reached the ship's side, Tails stopped the boat. Sonic quickly flung the grappling hook around for a moment, savoring the adventurer feel he had while twirling it around, and tossed it up. He almost missed, but it landed on the ship, and took hold of the railing.

“Up we go,” Sonic instructed as he began to climb the rope. “Can't keep them waiting.”

As the two neared the top, Sonic couldn't resist a joke.

“Thank you for flying BoatAir, the first ever boat-based commercial airliner service since Skies of Arcadia!” Sonic said aloud, trying to put on a generic, friendly-sounding voice that such an airliner would use, holding back the laugh. “Please wait for your attendants to assist you!”

Tails laughed. This laugh devolved into a chuckle while Sonic climbed to the top and tossed his leg over the railing. “Alright, Vyse, that's enough.”

Sonic looked around the boat. It was definitely the boat he thought it was; Ocean Tornado. Tornado, Sonic thought as he finished confirming it was the ship he had in mind. Tornadoes come from tornadoes. Tails recognized the ship now. He didn't feel the need to say anything, however.

On the deck immediately in front of them were koalas, groaning and moaning across the floor, holding their heads and injured areas. None of it looked too serious. Mostly just unconsciousness and bruises. It was a different crew. They all had uniforms similar to Gardon's. No sign of Marine, but she would be in the Captain's Quarters.

“Tails, check Captain Quarters and below the deck.” Sonic ordered. “I'll look around topside.”

“Alright!” Tails accepted, turning around to go check. He stopped suddenly, as he turned around slowly and said “Or should I say “aye”?”

“Whatever you want.” Sonic replied, starting to walking away, shaking his hand in a “shoo” fashion. “Just don't talk like a scurveh sea dog.”

Sonic looked at the people on the deck, looking specifically for the person in the least pain. He saw a koala laying next to the stairway next to the entrance to the inner parts of the ship. Sonic walked over to the sailor.

“What'd ya bang?” Sonic asked.

“Nothing much, just a hip and an elbow.” He said, plainly. He didn't talk like a sailor, although he did seem a bit grouchy at the moment.

Sonic offered his hand. “Well get up, and get everyone else on their feet. I've got important things to get to.”

“Alright, gimmie a moment...” The koala groaned, arching his back. After a couple audible pops, and a satisfied “yeaaah,” the sailor grabbed Sonic's arm and pulled himself up. After promptly dusting himself off, the sailor walked over to an unconscious one.

Sonic walked over to the bow. There, he saw the lavender cat from another dimension which he met only three or so before, Blaze. She seemed to just be removing the fear of the ship overturning from her head. Next to her was Gardon, her bodyguard. He was sitting on the deck, leaning against the railing, groaning, his sword stuck into the wood and most of his left side limp.

“Rise and shine, puddy tat.” Sonic joked to his dimensional counterpart.

“Sonic...?” Blaze said, opening one of her eyes to see if she was right. “Oh, it's nice to see you again but... great. I'm in your world. Fantastic.”

“Yes, Blaze and us were just having a chase with an assassin, a prince of a rivaling kingdom, who managed to improvise his whole escape route from the heart of the capitol to the ports and made his way out on a slightly faster boat than this one.” Gardon explained. “Almost had him too, but when he went into a storm, a tornado formed, and began to drag us into it. Before we knew it, a portal opened in the center, and we couldn't escape.”

Sonic's eyebrows rose from the word 'assassin'. “Woah. At least you dodged the assassin, could have been terrible if he knew what he was doing.”

“But we almost had him!” Blaze complained. “Just needed some more speed, is all...”

“Whatever, the deal is, you're in my world. Before you entered, me and Tails saw a green stuff fly into a tornado, making a green light.” Sonic explained. “I remembered seeing it the same green lights when I entered your world the first time. Probably the Eggmen at work again.” Sonic stuck out his hand. “So, time to get to work, I guess.”

Blaze groaned. She knew he was right, and she hated how she was pulled out of one problem into another. She also didn't know why Sonic got right down to the business. Normally, she was the serious one, and he was wanting to just hang out. He also didn't much surprised that she was there. Weird, but whatever. With a sigh, she grabbed his hand, and hoisted herself onto her feet.

Sonic turned to see that Tails had come out of the ship by now, and was making his way over to the them.

“Hey, Blaze! It's been a while!” Tails greeted. “Is Marine on board? I didn't find her.”

“No, she isn't. The kingdom had relieved the Ocean Tornado and the Deep Typhoon, on the grounds that it is crazy to just leave them in adventuring seven year old hands.” Blaze explained. “She still has the Wave Cyclone and Aqua Blast, although we took the charge laser from the latter.”

“Oh.” Tails said, beginning to chuckle. “Well, I wouldn't blame you.”

Blaze nodded. “Yes, yes. Taking this ship was a great choice, seeing as I was almost assassinated today.”

Tails' face lit up. “Do you know who did it?”

The cat was slightly annoyed from repeating her day's endeavors. “Prince of a rival nation. Just walked in, tried his hand at my life, and improvised his way through the capitol and made it out on a slightly faster boat. It doesn't matter now, he didn't fall through the portal I did.”

“Alright.” Tails shrugged. “Should we be going, or...?”

“Yes, please.” Blaze answered. “The more I stay on this boat, the more I'm reminded of how many times he threw garbage at me. And he has a way of throwing garbage-”

Gardon somehow grew a sense of humor and beat Sonic to cutting her off. “Now, I'd love to keep talking about trash, but we have eggs to crack.”

...

As the four paddled back onto shore, Sonic and Tails saw a familiar face, waiting for them. A black hedgehog, with red stripes running along bent quills. As they landed, Blaze was trying to match a description of one of the many people Sonic's met in the stories Sonic and Tails shared during their spare time on Southern Island, when Sonic called out to him.

“Hey Shadow, what are you doing here?” The blue hedgehog asked.

“They have sixty four GUN operators here, and you think I wouldn't be one of them?” The black one responded.

“I'd make a joke about operators operating operations,” Sonic rambled. “but seriously, why are you here? Didn't Tails here inform the officer here that I would be coming along? Isn't the major world-saving duo enough to handle things for them?”

“Apparently not. Especially now, since you and her tore through one of the GUN battleships back during the first dimensional conundrum.” Shadow stated. He glanced at Blaze before speaking again. “So you're the catgirl Sonic talked about? Blaze?”

Blaze took a moment to answer. “Yes...?”

“Oh, don't worry, he talks about everyone.” Shadow said. “He's his own news reporter.”

“...Okay?” She replied. She didn't see why he needed to say that.

“Just saying.”

Tails got back in the conversation. “Did GUN detect anything out there?”

Shadow shook his head. “No, the waters were too violent to send anything in it, we only moved Tails' sensors up. Why?”

“I caught a little glimpse of what was causing it on the heat map.” Sonic explained.

Tails grinned. “I had recorded what happened on it, maybe we can go back and review it, and try to get a precise answer as to what it was?”

“Good idea, Tails.” Sonic said. He began to walk past Shadow. “Smell ya later, Shadow!”

As Sonic began to walk away, Blaze, Tails, and Gardon followed. While Gardon was passing, he stopped, looked at Shadow, shook the sheathed sword on his hip by the hilt, and left.

Shadow was left there to wonder.

“... “Smell ya later”? What am I, some cartoon rival?!” Shadow complained to himself. “...Wouldn't I be the protagonist if he said it? Whatever, I have important things to do, like...”

Shadow then realized his agency currently had no clue what had happened, and yet Sonic and Tails did. As a matter of fact, they had a recording of their evidence, and due to each others' rivalry, they probably won't share it. While those four were leading the way to find out what happened, the multi-billion dollar GUN organization was like a headless chicken. This just couldn't happen.

But Shadow had people. Most importantly, he led a very skilled group of agents, one of them being a spy. If anyone could get information for GUN, it would definitely be Rouge. She liked to be paid in gems, however. Very valuable gems. He figured she would steal her pay from them. It's convenient when she steals a Chaos Emerald, but with another set of emeralds she's never seen before, Rouge will probably take the new ones and then completely antagonize the GUN name to an entire other dimension, who may be equally or better equipped than them.

He activated his radio to get permission to execute his plan from his superiors, but as he was talking, he wondered what could go wrong.

“They have info on what happened, but they're didn't invite us...” Shadow stated. “And I doubt they will.”

A lot, he knew. He knew a lot could go wrong if he did this, and put much more into trouble.

“Hmm.” Grunted the GUN Commander. “Well, do you have any ideas to counter that?”

Then there's a lot more chances to show that arrogant blue prick who is the better hog.

“Well, have this idea...”

…

The trip was not completed without interference. News crews gathered around the exit of the beach as the storm ceased, and Sonic had to briefly explain the situation to the public.

“Sonic! Sonic! Did you find out how the storm had been created along the shoreline?”

“Yes, and according to these readings, it says that that you should BUG OFF!”

News of the otherworldly princess' third appearance in this world spread quickly. The fact that she had parked a battleship with a full crew of koalas a dozen yards off the shore of a public beach in her entrance helped it get around.

Luckily, once they got a few blocks from the beach, they weren't held up by hordes of people in their way. The group of four -Sonic, Tails, Blaze, and Gardon, who insisted on coming along to guard her highness- quickly made it back to Tails' workshop at the edge of the city.

“Well, here we are.” Tails said enthusiastically. “My workshop.”

“Quite a collection of inventions you have...” Gardon complimented.

Tails chuckled. “Aw, shucks.”

“Is it always like that here?” Blaze asked. “With all the people?”

Sonic answered quickly. “When something happens in town, people usually want to know what's going on as soon as possible. Don't worry, we won't be followed around by everyone and their mother for now.”

“Oh really?” Blaze wondered.

“Well I hope not.” He replied with a chuckle. “Civilians definitely won't. Rule number one of being a world-saving hero: You're a trouble magnet. Anyway, let's look at that recording.”

Tails stroked his chin. “You're not usually the one that wants to get down to business...”

Sonic shrugged. “Eh, I just want to know who we're dealing with, and what they're packing first. I can decide when the best time to lollygag would be later.”

“Fair enough,” Tails replied, turning on the computer. It to take a few moments to boot up.

While the computer was in the long process of turning on, there was a knock at the door. Sonic turned around and volunteered to answer it. “I got it, I got it.” But as Sonic opened the door, he felt like he made the wrong choice.

“Sonic!” Cried the pink hedgehog on the other side. Sonic was ready to jump back from a nigh-inevitable glomp from his number one fan, Amy Rose. But strangely, it didn't come. Not immediately, anyway. “Me and Cream saw the news, and we were thinking, could me and Cream stay for a while?”

“Please?” Cream asked. Cream was Blaze's first friend here, and, for all Sonic knows, one of her first.

Sonic smiled. “Come on in. Don't forget, though, she's here for a reason, and it's not to just hang out. Something fishy is up.”

“Thanks, Mister Sonic!” Cream thanked politely as she ran into the workshop. “Blaze!”

The cat blinked, and only got a glimpse of her before she wrapped her arms around her. “It's been a while, Cream!” Inspired by their hug, Amy made her move. Anticipating the inevitable, Sonic sidestepped away from Amy's attempt at a hug, letting out a light “Aha!” as the pink hedgehog swung her arms through air. “How have you been doing?”

“I'm doing fine, Blaze. I'm staying out of trouble while Sonic and Tails deal with Eggman.” Cream explained.

“Every time.” Sonic added, walking over to the two girls.

“Well, how about you?” Cream asked. “How are you doing?”

Blaze got a nervous look on her face. “Um... not that good. I'm here because there is something troublesome happening in this world, somewhere, okay?”

“Oh. I hope it gets cleared up without too much fuss...”

“Don't we all?” Tails stated. “Anyway, the computer is running and the recording file is ready.”

“Recording file?” Amy asked.

Sonic crossed his arms and began to explain. “We picked up some funky stuff on sensors we set up around the beach before the ship fell. We're looking to see if there's something we can point at and say “Yeah, that's Eggman”, or if it's something else.”

“Oh, alright. Well, at least you're prepared for it this time.”

They began to huddle around the computer monitor.

…

“How's it look?” The bat asked.

“These binoculars aren't good enough,” The black hedgehog groaned to his companion. “Their huge heads are getting in my way, and even then, this thing's not powerful enough to read how they're measuring the power.”

Shadow and Rouge were sitting in a tree, looking through a window with binoculars, trying to piece together information they saw on the computer screen from above. Rouge, being part of the trio Shadow was in, was told asked to come along on his little reconnaissance mission. Down below, the third was overhearing technical problems.

“PERHAPS I CAN BE OF ASSISTANCE?” Omega inquired. His vision was designed to zoom, tune, focus, go into night vision, and use both white-hot and black-hot thermals if necessary.

Shadow found the fact that the branch was already bending slightly a bit unsettling. “Not to insult, but you're not particularly a stealth robot. And this branch is already bending, I don't think it could stand a seven-hundred pound killing machine.”

“TOUCHE.” Omega responded.

“Hey, how about I get a look at it up close?” Rouge asked.

Shadow rose an eyebrow. “Huh?”

Rouge explained her intentions. “Blaze hasn't had a hostile impression on me yet. Plus, me and her went to Sonic's birthday party. She should trust me, and I probably won't even have to lie to them, so long as she doesn't punch me right out.”

“Yes, but I'm sure he's told her about you, what with your fondness of emeralds and gems of all kinds. This Blaze girl has her own set of them, you know. Sol Emeralds?”

“And she has a gem on her forehead.”

In a silence, Shadow took a moment to look through the binoculars at Blaze, locating at the red spot on her forehead.

“What?” Rouge asked.

Shadow chuckled. “I guess “blind as a bat” doesn't apply to you.”

“Hah,” Rouge laughed dryly. “Anyway, Sonic has taught her to open up a bit more, and try to make friends with people, if his word is something to trust. If that doesn't work, I'll draw them all out so you two can move in.”

Shadow thought it over for a moment. “Oh, sure. It's better than looking at colored spots all day.”

Rouge began to flap her wings to float down to the ground. “You two stay here, wait for me to come back out before trying anything.”

“Alright,” Shadow nodded.

“AFFIRMATIVE.” Omega complied.

Shadow opened his mouth one last time. “And about that birthday party-”

“Knuckles specifically told me not to bring you. He knew a fight would break out.”

As the hedgehog grumbled, the gentle gem-rogue landed gently on the ground, and walked around the corner of the workshop. Shadow returned to observing through binoculars.

…

“You see that massive hot-spot right here?” Sonic said, pointing to the same hotspot he was looking at earlier. “It looks like it was some dispenser for it.”

Tails shook his head. “Yeah, I should have checked to see if they moved the sensors up. I should make some notification that the scanning area's dimensions changed...”

Knock knock knock

“More visitors?” Sonic asked. “Tails, why didn't you tell me we were having another party?”

“I'll get it this time,” Blaze said, standing up and making her way to the door. “You two know more about how that works than I do.”

“I only have the slightest idea...” Sonic admitted in a mumbling voice. He couldn't recognize the energy measurement Tails was measuring this energy in. He could tell it wasn't radioactive, thankfully.

Blaze opened the door, and felt the same thing Sonic had felt. Like it was a bad choice.

“Oh, hey.” Said the well-endowed bat on the other side of the door. “I heard the commotion. You must be Blaze?”

Blaze remembered her from Sonic's birthday party a while back. They didn't talk, but Blaze certainly did not want to talk to her. Sonic went into detail on her in his stories while he was staying on Southern Island back in her dimension, but taking a good look at her, she's not the kind of woman a man would remember. “... Yes.”

“Well, we've met before, haven't we? I'm Rouge. I was sent here by GUN,” Rouge started to look over Blaze's shoulder toward the group huddling around the computer. “... to ask if we could get a look at what your friends had picked up at Emerald Coast today.”

Sonic and Tails exchanged looks. They knew her well, but if she tried anything, she certainly wouldn't get away with it. Not against five or six people. After a moment, Sonic nodded. “Sure, just don't touch anything.”

“Yes, there are dangerous things here, Ms. Rouge.” Cream told her.

“Yeah, dangerous as in knock your head clean off.” Sonic jokingly added, walking over to the table and spinning what at first appeared to be and industrial fan, but was actually a surplus propeller for an airplane, modified so it can be activated by hand in the back.

“Sonic!” Amy shouted, concerned, as Cream was a few feet away from him.

“Okay, sorry.” Sonic apologized.

Rouge looked back at the cat. Blaze was looking at her with a paranoid glare, but with a “hmph”, she turned away and walked back into the shop.

“Not so sunshine and rainbows, huh?” Rouge joked. “Oh, I know a guy you'd love to meet.”

“Shadow, right? Not interested.” Blaze answered plainly, swatting the thought out of the air like an airplane hitting a bird.

Rouge rose her eyebrows. “Oh, so do you just not swing that-”

“NOT INTERESTED.” She growled again, smacking the topic out of the sky like King Kong hitting the aforementioned airplane. Rouge noticed wispy steam escape through the gaps of her teeth. “You came for information, get it.”

“Calm down, Blaze.” Sonic told Blaze. “Yeesh.”

“Fine, fine...” Rouge sighed. She probably blew any chance of respect from Blaze. Rouge usually had good, knowledgeable documents to study their personalities before trying to use her charisma to get the better of someone, but due to her stoic personality, and no GUN personnel having encountered her during her only adventure in this realm, she had to wing it with what Sonic said about her. Winging it usually worked, but this Blaze girl seemed to be hateful and paranoid toward her, despite Sonic saying she's “opened up a bit”. Rouge couldn't blame her, really. And, looking at the current objective of getting everyone out of the workshop so Shadow and Omega could enter, it was probably good if Blaze and her got into a fight. But make it natural, not like you want them all to leave.

Rouge made her way over to the computer and looked over the shoulder of the two tailed fox sitting in the chair. She couldn't make anything out on the spot other than that's a lot of energy.

“What is this measured in? What kind of energy, how much...?”

“That's the thing that I find weird. The sensors we had at the beach could pick up several types of energy, including Chaos energy. This here is the Chaos energy sensor feed. But, we have complete sets of both the Chaos Emeralds and the Sol Emeralds.”

Rouge was not into technology stuff, and she hardly cared about the energetic properties of the Chaos Emeralds. She loved the visual properties, though. Their gleam was delightful, and much brighter than other emeralds that size, shape, and color. She could always tell a genuine from a fake. Perhaps the energy does have something to do with her love for them. As a result of her uncaring of the topic at hand, her gaze was wandering around the shop. Sonic was right; some of the stuff could take someone's head clean off. It hardly crossed her mind that this workshop belonged to an eight year old boy. It was then she spotted a bag. A black silk bag, that was slightly open, and through the gap she saw a glimmer. She was being drawn toward it.

“Hmm... There isn't any other gems I would know that have similar properties as the Sol Emeralds, other than the Royal Emerald, but that's been locked in a vault located in the castle for years now.” Blaze pondered.

“Royal Emerald? You never told us about that.” Sonic stated.

“I haven't? Oh.” Blaze began to explain. “It's said to have powers, due to its size, but it's ceremonial, so it shouldn't...”

She noticed the bat girl looking with awe into the bag of Sol Emeralds.

“HEY!” Blaze shouted sharply, pushing her way over to her, snatched the bag from her hands, and glanced in it to check if she stole a few. “What do you think you're doing!?”

Rouge laughed nervously. She honestly did get carried away. “Ahaha, sorry, I got... tempted. What are those? They look fabulous.”

Rouge noticed a pattern with her: Blaze was becoming more and more passive-aggressive each time she finished a sentence. “Sol Emeralds. Precious artifacts. More valuable than your life.”

“Woah, hey...” Sonic said, trying to ease the two.

“Blaze...” Cream whimpered.

Blaze looked back at Cream, and then back at Rouge. With a snort of a bull, Blaze turned away from Rouge.

“Rouge, leave.” Sonic ordered. “Now.”

“But I haven't gotten any pictures ye-”

“Just leave!” Sonic shouted. “You and GUN are in our business. You should know hanging with the heroes only gets you in trouble. Get out. And tell GUN the only thing they're good for is diabolical trucks that destroy cities.”

Feeling slightly insulted, Rouge turned away, returning the unfriendly glare to Blaze as she made to the door.

“Cream, I'm sorry,” Blaze began. “I knew she was trouble when I opened the door...” Slightly worried, Blaze opened the bag, and began to examine her emeralds. “... Three, four, five...”

A bell rung as Rouge opened the door and hit the visitor bell above the doorway and made her way out.

“...six...” Blaze's eyes widened as she opened the bag wider. “... OH THAT THIEVING LITTLE...”

Without another word, Blaze tossed the Sol Emeralds to Gardon, and charged out the door, swinging it open, and charged through. “GIVE ME MY EMERALD BACK YOU STEALING TRAMP!”

Gardon handed the bag of emeralds to Sonic. Sonic was the fastest thing alive, so if anyone had a chance to catching up with a clever spy as Rouge, it'd be him, and he wanted to keep it like that and not having to haul around six gems. He looked around impatiently for a place to put them, and tossed them beside the computer as Gardon turned his back on him. With that, Gardon tore his sword from the sheath, and let out a warcry.

“FOR HER MAJESTY!” He shouted as he slammed open the door, and charged out.

“She's not that majestic...” Sonic chuckled quietly enough so Gardon wouldn't hear, holding the door open for Tails, Amy, and Cream. Once the last one was out, Sonic shut the door, and bolted after Rouge. Tails was to follow, with Amy and Cream trying to catch up.

Alright, I probably won't update in this thread for a while, but this isn't one of those stories that you see started, and end shortly after the beginning. I've done a massive fic before starting a year ago, and I sure as hell will do this one.

[Mr. Awesomest]

Because of a request by RockthePlace, I am posting this here. It's pretty much Sonic's reaction to his fanbase. Warning: CONTROVERSEYYYY

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

In Sonic GT, Cream and Shadow would have romantic interests in each other, but as soon as they reveal their true feelings to each other, they and the rest of the heroes agreed to wait until Cream grew up into an adult so she could get with Shadow. Until then, the two adopted three Lumas (red, blue and green respectively) and took care of them (like Shrek and Fiona having three ogrelets).

“I, I-I-I-I-I...”

As he read the fanwiki page dedicated to a fan-show-idea-thing that crossed over with at least fifty other series, Sonic's skull was pulsating in confusion and anger.

“...Bu-but WHY?!”

It was a cool winter's morning, somewhere shortly past 3 AM. For hours now, a board was raiding a Sonic fanon wiki, and due to his morbid curiosity, he couldn't help but look at some of the pages before they were vandalized. And the more he read, the more he regretted, and the less faith he had in humanity.

“Oh my GOOOD.” Sonic groaned, scrolling through the fanart. It was recolor after recolor after recolor. Some recolors only had strands of hair that were a different color, and BOOM, instant original character, do not steal. It pained him to see people who did this. It felt like strolling through a mental hospital; the disease filled the air, and being near its patients felt incredibly uncomfortable, fearing that their sickness would infect people, just by being near them.

But, at long last, Sonic had reached the bottom of his page. He sighed in relief, and sat back in his chair, staring off into space at the screen. He was thankful that it didn't go on. He hoped the author of it was in 4^th grade, or was a kid at least. That way, they could learn how utterly stupid and painful to recall that this is when they get older. If a teen at even thirteen had conceived this idea, taking it as seriously as he does... He didn't think his heart could take the immense pressure.

He had no clue why, but his fanbase was always full of... idiots. He never had a good word for them. Nothing was powerful enough to show how he felt. What they like, their logic and the things they create... Ugh. There were SOME things he liked, he has to admit. One in every ten thousand fanfics are worth reading, and he has to say that having porn of himself and any woman he'd love to do think of is a plus, but then there's porn of himself and every person he wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, the horrendous fanfics, and don't get him started on Chris Chandler and his Sonichu. He almost blew his top when he found out about that. Now, every time he thinks of Sonichu, he envies Blaze; he just wants to see him BURN. And he thinks it would be cool to breathe fire. Can she do that? That would be badass. And with all that fire she uses all the time, shouldn't she be cooked by now? Like, is she edibl-

Wait a minute. Something's not right.

Sonic began focusing on reality again. He returned his attention to the wiki page he had hated so much, to look toward the related pages section.

And that's when he saw Sonic GT the Musical: Live in Sydney.

Sonic slammed his palms on the desk.

“GOD FUCKING DAMN IT WHY?!” Sonic screamed at the monitor. “WHY ARE YOU THIS RETARDED, GO CLIMB A WALL OF DICKS, YOU FENCE FUCKING BADGER CUNT.”

Sonic slammed his face down onto the desk, his hands sliding off. Why would they do this? There's gotta only be a dozen people that read this. Why would they make a fucking MUSICAL? There's has to be a law against being this retarded. He couldn't see the possibility of this person having a sane mind. It must hurt for him to live being this logically blind.

Sonic took a closer look at the image. Next to him appeared to be a hedgehogized version of Rainbow Dash. He forgot My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was involved in this clusterfuck of a crossover.

He was staring at the screen, wide eyed, fueled with anger. He just couldn't accept that people can be this fucking stupid. He was grinding his teeth, fed up with his fans. He couldn't come up with a word to describe them just the way they are. He thought that they are what they are, and people of this retarded caliber should be diagnosed with “Sonic Fan Syndrome”.

The music player that he was listening to finished up playing Pumpkin Hill, and began to play Holy Wars.

Holy Wars. He remembered something he read online, about some tabletop game called Warhammer 40k. It was about these super soldiers, driven entirely by anger, with curse words written in blood and marker across their yellow and red armor, with their insignia being an angered smiley face. They weren't actually part of the universe, purely fan made. They weren't canon, but Sonic could not even begin to describe how much better these fan characters were to anything that's come from his fanbase. Well, these Angry Marines, led by the commissar Ragin' Johnny Fuklaw, called their enemies, a cult which annoyed them oh so much and had problems pronouncing and spelling words, heretics.

Heretics. That was his fanbase.

Heresy. That's what they make.

Sure, the Angry Marines are seen to hate all races that aren't inherently human, including Sonic himself, but they have a common enemy: those fursuit furries. Imagine the look on Sonic's face when it came to his attention that people actually dressed up in fursuits to pursue their fetishes. He has no sympathy for them. It's okay that they have a fetish, it's bad that they show it off, and it's at its worst when they jerk off to porn of Sonic himself. Probably toward some Sonadow image. There's more gay furries than straight ones, he swears.

By reading this page, he felt insulted. Violated. ANGRY.

And by the Emperor he would PURGE THIS EVIL.

He clicked the “Add a Page” button.

Article Title: Nigga the Gorilla

Yeah.

That'll do the trick.

Edited January 28, 2012 by Mr. Awesomest

[Mr. Awesomest]

GAAGGHH I hate posting multiple times in a row.

And I'm sorry I'm taking so long. Writing this is taking longer than expected. I usually stay a chapter ahead, but this time I'm making an exception because I'm taking so long without saying anything.

Chapter Two: Oh Boy, Here We Go

"They're gone." Shadow whispered.

"THEN LET US COMMENCE THE RETRIEVAL OF THE INFORMATION." Omega boomed a response.

"Quiet, quiet!" Shadow ordered in a hushed voice. "There might be someone in there, still... Just turn off your mouth!"

Shadow looked around the corner, and looked toward the woods Rouge chose to run into. He could see Amy and Cream, only slightly, who in a moment will bound over a fallen tree in the woods. Other than that, no one else seemed around. No civilians, no other GUN agents, no colorful furry superheroes... no one.

Shadow smiled. "Alright, clear on the outside, not a soul in sight. Let's go in."

Shadow turned the corner, Omega following as he got to the door. He leaned against the door, and began to gently twist the knob. Unlocked. Good. He readjusted himself, and twisted the knob fully to open the door. Shadow managed to keep leaning on the door as it swung open and hit the wall. Inside the workshop was as devoid of life as the landscape around it. He chuckled a bit as he walked in the shop, and began examining the bits of contraptions and the things they belonged to that were scattered around the shop. "Alright, completely clear. They even left the computer on in a hurry, I can see."

"I SHALL COPY THE FILE AND SEND IT TO GUN HQ." Omega blurted as he barely managed to fit in the doorway. Leaving the door open, he began to make his way over to the computer as Shadow observed the contraptions. He couldn't tell what half of them were at first. But, with further inspection, he could see what they were meant to do. He took a moment to admire the crazy looking machinery that the eight year old had built. Shadow didn't really pay attention to the genius of the fox, but this trip into his lab gave him a great look at just how smart he was.

Shadow was about to give up looking around, and observe the recording himself, to see if he could make sense of it, when he saw a black bag. He saw that Rouge had looked into it, with interest. With some curiosity, put a finger on the mouth of the bag, and looked inside.

Gems. Large, precious looking gems. He recognized them as the Sol Emeralds, from a very vague description Sonic gave during his newspaper report of the first dimensional conundrum. "They're counterparts of the Chaos Emeralds," quote Sonic from the paper. "They're rectangular, and, although not proven, probably have similar abilities, powers, and weaknesses, as they were drained of color, much like how the Chaos Emeralds were during the Chaos Incident. There are also seven in the set." To Shadow's not-so-shocking surprise, there were six. Shadow didn't even notice Rouge take one from the bag, even though his eyes were trained on her. How does she do that? The black hedgehog wondered. What is she, a wizard?

He felt satisfaction with his comrade being able to sneak out a highly sacred item from its guardian within ten feet, but at the same time, he felt disappointment. They were here for information, not Sol Emeralds. Blaze needs those, anyhow. Looking around, he felt that the emeralds were in a very obvious spot, if Rouge were to return to the workshop after having slipped behind her pursuers. Shadow felt he needed to keep them away from Rouge, as she would take them all if she was left alone with them, regardless of their purpose. And the only person that can use the emeralds not having them would only make the situation worse.

He had to hide it from Rouge.

So, he grabbed the bag and turned around, looking for a spot she wouldn't see while walking in. He eyed a drawer, and briefly wondered if Rouge could feel the power of the emeralds. Or if he could. After confirming he didn't feel anything above a slightly... calming aura, and that this Blaze girl probably felt more, he opened the drawer and stuffed the bag in, making sure none of the fine fabric was sticking out of the cracks as he shut it.

Feeling somewhat better about himself, he took a breath in and looked across the table.

There was a floating steel chair roughly three feet away from him.

WHANG

...

Sonic raced through the forest, trying to find the bat and the cat. The path was simple: follow the scorch marks and the faint sound of insults and curse words in the distance. Sonic decided if he could hear what words were being shouted, then he had to be really hot on their trail. While running along the trail, he noticed smoldering bits of machinery on the ground.

"Really?" Sonic said to himself as he passed the remains of the military droids. "Did G.U.N. really just Rouge robots for backup? Really?"

As Sonic ran up a tree, following the burnt black trail Blaze left on it, untouched G.U.N. robot looked at Sonic.

"TARGET SPOTTED, COMMENCING FI-"

Before it could finish, Sonic went straight through the robot, punching a nice hole in it, and continued.

"Does G.U.N. have a plan for the Sol Emeralds, or is this just Rouge being Rouge?" Sonic wondered aloud to himself as he raced on, plowing through more robots. "And why do the robots have to say everything they're about to do? They're worse than Eggman when it comes to that, and that's saying something!"

As Sonic went on, he felt something against his ankle. He hardly felt it as it broke against his leg, but enough to have a clue what it was.

Down the path, down fell a dark black ball. An old fashioned bomb, he figured as he got closer. It had to be at least fifty feet ahead of him, but at the speed Sonic was moving, it may as well have been two feet. He was running too fast to slow down enough, so he had to run faster. As he got to it, he jumped and rolled into a ball as it exploded. There was a small shockwave that made him stumble a little as he landed, but nothing that could put him on the ground. He was fine, and annoyed that Rouge was still Rouge.

Sonic slowed down to a halt, and looked back, wondering if he had dodged other traps that Tails or Amy wouldn't notice either. He was bouncing up and down on his feet in place, playing tennis with the thought. Sonic groaned, thinking he had slowed down enough. He figured Tails could protect Amy and Cream as Sonic continued to follow the soot trail.

...

Tails felt the wire prop up his foot as he stepped on it. Tails began to fly, but drag in his speed. He quickly looking over the environment to see which one of Rouge's traps he had set off. He'd be able to dodge it.

But then Amy almost ran past him.

"Stop stop STOP!" Tails shouted as he barely managed to grab her arm. Slow to react, Cream ran past him as well, and the fox had to send his other hand out to grab her arm. Tails ground his feet into the ground whilst trying to propel himself backwards while the two unsuspecting sprinting girls watched as spikes emerged from the brush ahead of them, but luckily held back by Tails. After a second of skidding and intense pulling, Amy and Cream managed to stop, and Tails used his dying momentum to walk in front of the two, and turn around.

"Yeesh!" Tails breathed in relief. For girls, that put a lot of strain on his arms.

"Woah, we almost ran into that." Amy pointed out, slightly berating herself for almost simply charging into the trap. "I thought Rouge specialized in bombs? She has spike traps too?"

"Thanks Tails!" Cream cheered, already going ahead. "Mister Sonic's not waiting, Amy!" She called back as she went ahead.

"Yeah, thanks!" Amy thanked, before going to catch up with Cream. "What are you, crazy? Sonic never waits!"

Tails rubbed his arms, thinking for a moment. He felt weak, for a moment, almost having failed at holding back two girls. But only for a moment. He had a job to do. So he ran after the two girls, soon taking the lead.

...

As Sonic got closer and closer to the treeline, he began to move quietly and observe what was going on from the forest.

Blaze was finishing up a batch of G.U.N. robots before Rouge began to talk. "Ooh, not bad."

"Shut your mouth and give me my Sol Emerald!" Blaze shouted. "I've got better things to do than argue with a dime a dozen thief, so return it!"

Rouge laughed. "You've got no idea what you're messing with, girl."

"And you have no idea what you're messing with! Give it back!" As Blaze talked, sparks of fire flew from between her teeth.

Noticing this, Rouge covered her smile. "Hmph, for a princess you sure are feisty."

With that, Blaze ran at Rouge, her feet slowly being engulfed in flame. Rouge, accepting the challenge, ran toward her, and as she saw Blaze start up a kick, she jumped and flew over the burning cat sending a spiraling kick to where the bat once was. While the cat was slowing down, Rouge began to fly after Blaze, ready with a kick of her own.

As Blaze regained her footing, she saw the incoming attack. She jumped back, narrowly dodging the powerful kick, and sending another flaming kick toward the bat. This attack connected just as Rouge realized it was coming. Rouge took the kick to the shoulder and jumped back five feet, flapping her wings to make sure she landed on her feet.

She touched the spot where it connected, to find that it stung to put her hand directly on her skin there. It was scorched. A nasty side effect. The smile disappearing from her face as she winced from the burn, Rouge glared at her enemy. "Not bad, missy..."

Blaze slowly strafed around Rouge, her expression unchanging.

"Not bad at all..." Rouge went on, shaking off the pain in the arm that was hit. She began bouncing around, ready to get back on the offensive. "But you're gonna have to do better than little burns and scorches like that."

Before Blaze could respond, Rouge ran right at her. She was halfway ready to send a kick straight at the bat, when Rouge slid along the ground. Annoyed by the change of movement, Blaze bent her leg, ready to stomp on Rouge with her high heels if she got close.

But on the ground, Rouge twisted over and pushed herself into the air. This sudden change caught the cat off guard, and the powerful kick got her in the jaw. Blaze stumbled back, almost falling to the ground. Rouge kicked much harder than she did.

As she was addressing the hit, Blaze looked behind her and sent her foot toward the ground behind her, sending fire across the ground. Rouge was about to follow up with another kick, but the flames forced her to jump back to avoid more burns. Now that she had her time to talk, Blaze responded to Rouge's comment.

"Is that a suggestion?" She grumbled, moving her jaw around and turning to face Rouge again.

The two girls strafed around each other, impatient for the other to attack. Blaze began closing in, and Rouge backed up in response. Thinking she has the mental upper hand, Blaze ran up to Rouge. Expecting a kick, Rouge braced to block, hoping only to receive a minor burn, however expecting to be knocked back.

Just before the supposedly inevitable kick, though, Blaze stopped in her tracks, and sent her hand forward. From it, fire flew out and covered Rouge's torso. Rouge, surprised, instinctively jumped back and flapped her wings, sending the fire away from her and at Blaze. Rouge was hoping that Blaze herself wasn't fireproof.

Blaze was fireproof, but she was blinded by fire covering her face. It dissipated quickly, when her face was unveiled, she was smiling, watching Rouge shake her singed face and arms to put out fires that weren't there. When Rouge was done, she glared at the pyrokinetic cat, what little playfulness she had gone.

She doesn't fight fair. Rouge noted to herself as she looked at the cat with her little Cheshire smile. She hatched an idea. Well, neither do I.

From behind her, Rouge readied something. She'll never see this-

"A BOMB!" Sonic intentionally blurted out the painfully obvious from the sidelines, attracting the attention of both the fighters and Tails, Amy, Cream and Gardon, who just got within earshot.

Instead of what she originally planned, Rouge's agitation took over, and she threw the bomb over her head at Sonic.

Sonic's joyful false-concern turned into anger hidden behind a plain face as the bomb flew toward him. "Oh. Okay." Sonic said plainly as the bomb was en route.

While the bomb was heading toward Sonic, Rouge turned and got a stern kick into Blaze's gut. Blaze wasn't knocked back by this kick, so she sent a hand to Rouge's side, using the same burning technique as before. In pain, Rouge hopped back. Blaze was jogging backward, looking at Sonic with her mouth hanging loose with a smile. This rose the question of what caught Blaze's attention. Rouge looked over to Sonic, and saw Sonic. With the bomb held with both hands above his head.

His mood ruined, Sonic said "I see how it is."

Sonic threw the bomb at Rouge, running out from the treeline as he threw it and into the fight. Because the bomb was returned with such delay, the bomb exploded right in front of Rouge, causing her to stagger backward. She hadn't the time to collect herself before Sonic came spinning into her, blasting her back and sending her skidding to the other side of the clearing.

"You were watching the whole time?" Blaze asked quickly.

"Yup!" Sonic answered, standing up from ball form.

Blaze was a bit frustrated. "Why didn't you join in earlier? I thought you didn't like it when people do that."

Sonic nodded. "Yeah, you're right. But remember when I fought the Time Eater? With all due respect, all you did was just sit on the sidelines and say 'THAT LOOKS LIKE A HOMING SHOT' along with the rest of them."

Blaze looked down at the ground, chuckling. "Point taken."

Tails, Amy, Cream and Gardon had reached the treeline at that point. Gardon, who was not particularly fast, was tired from trying to keep up. On a normal basis, Gardon would have ran at Rouge with his sword drawn, screaming something along the lines of "For the Queen and Country", but he was breathing so heavily he couldn't talk. Besides, it looked like the bat woman was handled by now. Amy, Tails, and Cream being the faster ones, saw Sonic's stunt with the bomb.

"Woo! Nice one Sonic!" Amy cheered, with all the enthusiasm as expected.

Tails decided to point something out no one quite picked up. "Sonic, Blaze, she dropped the Sol Emerald!"

Rouge had noticed this at the same time Tails did. On the ground and covered in soot, the bat scrambled for the gem, but Blaze was faster, and got to the purple Sol Emerald first. As she was picking it up, She spun around on one of her feet and kicked Rouge in the face as she almost got to the Sol Emerald. Rouge fell onto her back, and began to back away on the ground. Amy and Tails emerged from the treeline, Cream staying back for her protection, and Gardon only just paying attention to the situation while trying to regain lost energy.

Rouge growled, getting up off the ground and into a crouch. "This could have been a fair fight, if Sonic hadn't gotten involved." Rouge said, reaching for something behind her back and standing. "But now..."

The bat smiled as she pulled out a walkie-talkie, and pressed the "talk" button. "Ooh Shadow!" She said to the other line, expecting the inevitable heavily sarcastic reply.

...

Shadow was in the process of tearing the workshop apart looking for the fine silk bag of Sol Emeralds.

"Ooh Shadow!" His radio communicator blurted out obnoxiously in Rouge's voice.

He let Rouge's voice be the ending point of his search for the Sol Emeralds, and the point where he accepts that the attacker was took them, Shadow sighed. He hoped that he could actually get on the good side of Blaze, at least.

"...Shadow?"

Shadow answered the call.

"Oh thanks a lot, Rouge. Thanks to your escapade with the Sol Emeralds... You will NEVER. GUESS. WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED."

...

"And I hope you're happy." Shadow said disappointed as Rouge lowered the radio, which was loud enough for her enemies to hear, with a shocked look on her face.

Blaze twitched. Then, like a bull, she snorted and ground her heels into the ground, complete with the steam coming from her nose. But just before she could charge at Rouge with fiery fury, Sonic grabbed her shoulder.

"Blaze, let her go. We've got better things to be doing." Sonic explained, trying to calm her down. "Better things than arguing with dime a dozen thieves."

Understanding him, Blaze's raised shoulders slumped down, and she turned and began jogging back, pocketing the Sol Emerald. Sonic, Tails, and Amy followed. Amy turned and glared at Rouge as she left.

Gardon had finally caught his breath as Blaze passed him. As she went by, a grim look washed across his face. "Already?" He complained, using his sword to push himself away from the tree, and behind the five others.

Rouge thought about trying to get to her comrades before her enemies did, but they probably don't want to be near her. She wondered what to do, for a moment, before coming to a saddening conclusion. In defeat, she walked off, back in the direction of Station Square, planning on resigning for the day, as it wasn't turning out to be her day to be involved in one of Sonic's adventures.

...

The group of six had made it back to the workshop. Cream was trying to calm Blaze's now highly active passive aggressive state. Sonic made it to the door first, rolling his eyes, speaking to himself, "Oh boy, here we go." Armed with a disappointed look on his face, Sonic opened the door, and stared at the current occupants of the shop.

Shadow's conversation with Omega was abruptly ended by the sound of the door opening. The black hedgehog turned to see the six walk in, all staring coldly at him.

"So Shadow, what were you doing in here?" Sonic interrogated.

Shadow pinched his brow. "I was sent here by G.U.N. with Rouge and Omega here, to try to keep up to pace with you, if not surpass you, in the terms of situational awareness. So me and Rouge decided to, literally..." Shadow pointed toward the tree, placed within perfect viewing point of the computer. "... look over your shoulder."

"I should cut that down," Tails noted to himself during Shadow's pause.

"When we couldn't find out exactly what we were dealing with from up there, I thought one of us had to go in and try to get a closer look at it. Since you seemed to be speaking ill of me to the other dimension's royalty, and since Rouge was invited to your party and is a better diplomat than I am, I thought it would be a better idea to send her in." Shadow continued. "I forgot about how easily she could get distracted by jewels. Especially the Chaos Emeralds. I didn't even take the Sol Emeralds into account. So after you all left, leaving the Sol Emeralds in plain sight, I tried hiding them from Rouge, in case she came back. Hardly a few seconds after I hid the Sol Emeralds, I looked up, and got knocked out with a metal chair. Omega was distracted with extracting the data and sending it to G.U.N. HQ, and while I was knocked out, the attacker must have found his sleep-mode switch, which is well hidden. Probably left after grabbing the Sol Emeralds."

Sonic wasn't as annoyed as he thought he would be. "At least you didn't take the rest for yourself."

Shadow scowled. "Because G.U.N. has better things to do than ruin interdimensional relations in order to fit the paycheck of one operative." Shadow shook his head, and looked toward Blaze. "I apologize for my partner's stroke of greed. She usually contains herself." Shadow stuck out his hand, hoping to get a truce, at least.

Blaze just stood there, ignoring it. "I'll accept the apology when we have my Emeralds back."

Shadow took his hand back, nodding. "Alright."

Sonic saw some opportunity. "Hey, come with us." He ordered. "You're helping fix the problem your annoying bat made."

Shadow looked around, thinking about it. Seeing no greater alternatives, he turned back. "Alright."

"At this rate, things can only get worse..." Tails examined.

Sonic repeated himself. "Oh boy, here we go."

And with that I will spend a couple months fending off writers block which is stopping me from finishing my third chapter, and hopefully get ahead enough to figure out some schedule.

[#EndyGate]

C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!!!

Though this thread has convinced me that you are legitimately insane

Edited April 22, 2012 by Magnus

[Mr. Awesomest]

Maybe this would take so long if I didn't write all these BIG, MEATY, CHAPTERS, but that would be not-awesome. So have this BIG, MEATY, CHAPTER.

Chapter Three: It Was a Wednesday

Rouge walked through the woods, feeling aggravated about her recent loss. She was planning on giving up for the day, and getting out of the situation before she gets involved with Sonic's adventure against Eggman. Staying around him is bound to get you trouble. Besides that, it was getting dark.

“Oh, that blue runt.” She moaned to herself. “I was hoping for a fair fight with that cat, but no, Sonic had to ruin it. It was just getting interesting, too, when she tried to brand me with her foot. ” She growled those last words, before laughing and saying jokingly to herself, “kinky.”

But just before she reached the edge of the treeline, she heard footsteps. Distant footsteps, trying to be sneaky, but marked with some familiar, clacking sound. She knelt down, and peeked out from behind a tree, to see an anthromorph of some sort, donning clothes almost entirely in black and navy blue, slipping away. A wrapping covered his face. Although it was to dark to see, she heard the clinking come from something he was carrying close to his chest with his very thick gloves, as if he were wearing two sets.

Shady looking guy sneaking away with something. Oh-so-familiar sound of tapping gems. She was about to put two and two together herself and figure this person was the Sol Emerald thief, when the masked man did it for her; the gray Sol Emerald slipped from the opening of the bag he was carrying.

At this point, she knew that whoever the shrouded person was, he was up to nothing good. Well, neither was Rouge, but regardless. It was one thing to slip away with one emerald for your fancy, but when they beat down two agents, one of them being able to throw ethereal spears at people and the other a walking arsenal, and take the whole bag, that's when she thinks they are planning something malicious with them.

Smirking, Rouge ran from out of the treeline soundlessly as the thief cursed to himself, and made his way back over to the emerald.

The shady man knelt on the ground in front of the emerald, slightly tired. He wasn't one of those guys who could run beyond a hundred miles an hour. He has aces up his sleeve, but running just isn't his thing. He put his hand on the gray Sol Emerald, feeling its power. He noticed that the gem had a bright glow, making it stand out in the grass. He looked to his right, toward the suburbia just outside the city. He hadn't gotten to the area where people actually go, so he should be in the clear. To his left, he looked just in time to receive a boot to the face.

The crook screamed in surprise as Rouge kicked him. Luckily for her, he hadn't retrieved the Sol Emerald yet, so while he was rolling back onto his feet, Rouge picked up the fascinating gray Sol Emerald.

“You need to work on your sneaking, boy.” Rouge told the man in black. “I heard your footsteps from the forest,” Rouge lifted the Sol Emerald to bask at it. “And you weren't holding these to gently. I could hear these poor things smack against each other in that bag. Since you don't know how to treat an Emerald like that with respect, give them to me.”

The thief growled. “No way! I'm not giving these up! You don't know what will happen if I do!”

“Hmm...” Rouge recognized the voice, but couldn't place her finger on it. “You sound familiar...”

“Uh, what?” He asked, twisting the bag's opening, and left it in one hand. “I never met you!”

The bat was not all too familiar with the voice herself, actually. She just had a hunch. But after you've met Sonic, sometimes a hunch is all you need to be right about something, in the end. “Whatever. If you won't hand them to me, I guess I'll have to take them from you!”

“Oh yeah? Just try!” The cocky teen taunted, getting into a battle stance that Rouge instantly sighted two flaws in. Rouge rose her eyebrow. How did this fool get past Shadow and Omega? Rouge shook herself the thought away. Underestimating will only get her so far.

Rouge sent a quick roundhouse kick at the boy's head. He knelt down to avoid it, and jumped over her following swipe. He seemed to hover in the air as he kicked the Sol Emerald from Rouge's hand. The boy then tried to make his way over to it, but Rouge grabbed him by the leg. He struggled, but in a moment Rouge tugged on his leg so that her leg could connect to his chin just the way she wanted. She then made her way over to the Sol Emerald. Rouge picked it up, and tossed it up a lightly, to play with it.

However, the Sol Emerald went very high. Unreasonably high above her head. Rouge's eyes followed it skyward, still in confusion. Then, came the man in black, jumping onto her shoulder and kicking her in the face, and catching the Sol Emerald in his bag as Rouge fell onto the ground under his feet. He then began to run away.

Rouge wouldn't let some snob like this get away. She twirled to her feet, and ran after the thief. He wasn't fast, Rouge noted. She wasn't fast, herself, and yet she was catching up to him. As he looked back at her, Rouge pulled out a bomb, and hurled it over his head with one hand. The time it spent in the air was long enough for the fuse to shorten to the point where it couldn't be returned. To the rogue bat's pleasure, the crook turned to look at her again when the bomb fell in front of him and blasted him back, into a well timed airborne kick to the head.

As Rouge stood where the bomb went off, she looked around briefly for the bag. Surprisingly, she noticed that it was still in the thief's hands. She walked over to her tired foe, who was breathing heavily. She rose her foot, and just before she could pin the thief down by his arm, he managed to roll to his side onto his feet. Underestimating or not, Rouge suspected he was too tired to continue to be a real threat after her bomb trick. Almost everyone is.

And then the thief ran to shove her.

There was no real technique; it was a simple, exasperated shove, that seemed to have hardly any driving force behind it. It would hardly push a table. However, as Rouge was shoved, he shouted, and she felt as if she was picked up and tossed, and tossed she was. She was sent a dozen feet away and slid along the ground on her back, from what to her seemed like a silly push. It had no force, no specialty, no technique, and yet she was blown away. She wondered how as she looked at her foe. He was now activating something on his wrist.

Then, there was a bright green flash. Rouge had to cover her eyes momentarily. When she felt it was safe to look, she moved her arm, and saw a green spiral in the area the thief was.

Curious, the bat girl rose to her feet, not taking her eyes from the anomaly. Perhaps it was a portal, she decided. She was cautious of its suspicious neon green glow, while although alluring, seemed dangerous. Yet, before she knew it, she was inches from it, putting her hand to it. Rouge snatched her hand away from it, and stepped back.

“I'm... not too fond of going through that...” She mumbled to herself. After a few more seconds of gazing into its swirls, she smiled. “But I know someone who would...”

Rouge walked around the portal, watching it as if it were a hound told to stay, and ran toward the road. But coming down the road from just around the corner was none other than the blue hedgehog and company she was looking for, and they were not too happy with the sight of her.

“Rouge!” Sonic shouted at the bat, expecting another fight.

“Hold on, Speedy, let me explain, alright?!” Rouge pleaded. She sighed, and looked over at Blaze. “I saw your perpetrator with the Sol Emeralds. I got into a fight with them, but, then he...”

Rouge gestured to the portal. Eyes widened amongst the group.

“... Did that, and now he's gone. I didn't want to go in there, at least not alone. So I was going to come up the road to see if you would check it out.”

“That shade of green...” Tails began, trying to recall where it came from.

The rest were mostly baffled. And then, something ticked in Blaze's head. Her passive, expressionless face jolted in surprise. She quickly pushed her way through the party and made her way toward the portal. Seeing Blaze diving into the unknown made Sonic feel a bit left out.

“Hey, wait up!” Sonic shouted, running after her.

Tails followed, concerned about those two not speculating before running into portals to who-knows-where. “What are you two doing!?”

The string continued. Everyone ran in crying and chasing after someone else, causing the entire group to run headlong into the portal. From Blaze, to Sonic, to Tails, to Amy, to Gardon, to Cream, to Shadow, and Omega, leaving Rouge standing there, stifling her laughter as she calmly walked in.

…

Blaze was sent out the other side of the portal, and barely stopped in time to avoid crashing into a wall. She began walking around, and examined the room. She was in a concrete room. It seemed to be a large maintenance room of some sort. Tool boxes, shelves, and tins littered the room. The door was open. She was jogging toward it when Sonic ran out of the portal.

She ran to her left down what looked like a large storm drain, Sonic made note of. As he got to the doorway, Tails came out. As he did, Sonic turned to him from the doorway.

“Let's go left!” Sonic ordered, before jogging off. He turned his head to shout over his shoulder as he was leaving. “We don't know where we are, so try not split up!”

Tails stood behind, directing the rest where to go. A few seconds after taking a turn, Sonic heard a loud explosion come from behind him as Omega failed to fit through the doorway. Assuming that Omega was truly on their side and the situation could be handled by his friends if they weren't, he didn't stop following Blaze as she turned into another open doorway. Sonic slid sideways in front of the doorway, to see Blaze was climbing a ladder. Sonic jogged up behind her, and began climbing.

“What was the deal, not saying a word?” Sonic asked.

“The assassin led me and Gardon into a trap, which flashed that shade of green, and we dropped into your world. That portal was green.” Blaze began to answer, stopping only to lift the slightly opened grate away. “I thought there was a connection, and there was. It was a portal back to my dimension! He can swap dimensions at will! If we aren't on his tail, we simply can't track him!” Blaze pulled herself out of the hole, sat on the hole, and swung her feet onto the street. “For all we know, he could have unfinished business here.”

Sonic was reaching the top of the ladder, but wasn't entirely caught up to speed. “And that would be...?” As he reached the street, he looked up in amazement.

Above the rooftops, he saw a colossal building. Towers that reminded him of the Gaudi Cathedral from Barcelona pierced the now night sky lit with spotlights, stained-glass windows gleaming with colors, and the sheer size of it was staggering for the fact that it was a building, and not a natural wonder. This ginormous construction was The Gleaming Castle, because it reacted to light like a diamond. To Sonic, it may as well have been the Disney castle.

“Woah...” The blue hedgehog gasped as he pulled himself out of the hole. He stared at it for a moment, almost laughing at the size, before Blaze called him.

“Come on, I need to warn my family!”

Oh yes, Sonic thought. Dimension hopping assassin on the loose, royalty thinks he's at the other side of the ocean with their daughter giving chase, that's no good. Sonic stopped admiring the over-the-top fancy castle and followed Blaze through the streets.

A moment or two later, Amy was climbing out of the hole, giving a similar gasp in wonder to the breathtaking castle, and groaning at seeing Sonic follow Blaze ahead, not waiting for his friends. This was a trend upon people who had never seen it before. As Gardon, Tails and Cream made it to the city streets, Omega had a problem.

“EVEN IF I COULD FIT THROUGH THIS PASSAGEWAY, I AM UNABLE TO ASCEND USING LADDERS.” Omega stated from the storm drain, giving his voice an echo-quality to Tails.

Shadow looked up.“What do we do now, fox?”

Tails looked down the hole. Taking note that the explosion caused by Omega disrupted the portal, causing it to fizzle out of existence, Tails figured that they had nowhere else to go, unless they planned to find their way home without them. “Try to find another way out, alright?” He took out a spare communicator, and tossed it to Shadow. “When you find it, tell me where you are and we'll pick you up.”

Shadow caught it, and put it on his left ear, as his right had his G.U.N. communicator. “Whatever.”

“And don't try anything funny!” Gardon added, shouting down the hole. “There's not a person in your little party that even knows this city, and not a person in this world that knows it better than I do!”

Shadow grumbled as he walked out of sight. “Come on, let's go.” he said to his companions as Gardon pushed the storm drain grid back into place with his foot.

“So where are we?” Amy asked.

“This city is pretty!” Cream added.

“Ah yes. I don't believe I introduced myself, either. Now would be the perfect time for both, I assume! Ahem...” The koala let out a cough, and with a hand gestured to himself. “I am Gardon, captain of the Royal Guard,” and then he gestured to the massive castle in the background.

“And this is Soleanna.”

...

The two rushed around the stone walls, and quickly made it over to the metal gate. Upon the sight of Blaze, the human guard in the booth which opened the gate was delighted to see her highness had returned from her chase with the assassin, but grew confused over the not so familiar person trailing behind.

“Hello madam!” The guard greeted, pressing a button to mechanically open the gate slowly. “I see you're back, but who is this?”

Sonic was about to let his bold ego shine when Blaze answered for him. “He's Sonic. A friend of mine.”

“Sonic, hmm?” The guard pondered, as if he briefly heard the name sometime before. In his world, everyone knew Sonic. He was slightly disappointed only a few people knew his face here. It finally clicked with the guard, and he turned to Sonic. “Oh! You're her other-wordly friend that helped retrieve the Jeweled Scepter. Your being here means something's happening, so by all means, go on in.”

The gate was wide open by now, and Blaze ran up to the large castle door, Sonic lagging behind a bit as questions on his mind seemed to weigh him down.

“I've seen plenty of castles, but this is a bit too flashy, isn't it?” Sonic asked.

Blaze groaned. “I know. The towers were built for an earlier princess, two hundred or so years ago. I'd love to give you a tour, but I think the security of the castle can be compromised.”

Sonic nodded. With a portable dimension hopping device, the security could literally be filled with holes. Blaze went and opened the door, letting Sonic get a full view of the castle's foyer.

Decked out on the floor were checkered black and white tiles, and a lavender carpet. The carpet led up the stairs and split at the top of the first set, where the platform held two stairways going left and right. They were accompanied by banners; a crimson arrowed one on the left, and a royal blue indented banner on the right. The railings and wall décor were very smoothly cut, and the ends were cut to look like flames. There was a large portrait of the castle itself framed at the top of the stairway, large enough to point out details from the front door. On the left and right of the foyer, there were hallways leading elsewhere on the ground floor. The chandelier was large and bright, and Sonic would not have been surprised if he could hang other chandeliers from it.

Sonic whistled as he strolled in. “Woo. Nice place.”

“Thanks, I guess. But no time to sight see, right now.” Blaze explained as she made her way to the hall to the left. “He could be weaving through reality as we speak.”

As the two made their way through the hallway, Sonic absorbed the architecture. The wall paper was red, and held a large pattern. Large portraits, at least two meters long, of the nation's former rulers and their finest acts stretched along the wall. Although he didn't look at all of them, Sonic thought some of the ones he did look at were familiar, but he shrugged it off, thinking that this nation Blaze ruled was this dimension's version of England, and went through similar struggles. After a bust of a king with a thin beard and a thick set of whiskers had Sonic stifling giggles, he decided to disregard the art, which got more recent as Blaze went along.

A couple doors later, Sonic and Blaze came to a large white door, contrasting with the brown, well furnished wood and red wallpaper around it. Blaze unceremoniously opened the door to the throne room.

It was a vast, white room, darkened by the night sky shining through the skylights. Rows of lavender and royal blue banners hung from the ceiling. The ceiling was held up by ivory pillars, arches in between them holding up chandeliers which illuminated all but the red carpet leading up to the throne itself. Around the King's throne gold and crimson throne, candles sat unlit. Sonic hadn't seen a castle much like this since he went to Windsor. The small tour of this fabulous building made today memorable.

But for Blaze, it was a Wednesday.

Not stopping to marvel at the sight she saw every day, Blaze looked toward a guard, simply passing by, and made her way to him.

“Hello.” Blaze greeted the guard. “Where's my mother and father?”

The slightly shy guard hesitated before answering. “While you gave chase to your assassin, your father felt fear for himself and the Queen. So, he gathered half of the royal guard, and moved in with the guards in the Vault.”

“Oh, more guards in the Vault? I was about to suggest that, as I believe that this castle's security could be easily compromised.” Blaze stated.

“What?” The guard asked.

Blaze began to explain. “This assassin seems to have the ability to switch between dimensions. He could teleport into the vault and make off with the Jeweled Scepter, or perhaps the Royal Emerald, however leaving behind a portal.”

The guard's eyebrows rose. “I assume you want me to tell this to the current commissioner, miss?”

“Yes, the tighter security in the vault is what I was going to recommend, but since that was already applied, I guess that's that. Also, Captain Gardon is back with me, so he should be relieving control of the Royal Guard from... whomever you picked as substitute, effective as soon as he walks in the building.”

“Yes ma'am.”

The guard made his way to the door, and opened it. Sonic was about to talk when Blaze spoke just before him. “Also, since it's getting dark, tell the commander I will be having some friends over.”

The guard froze. Seconds later, the guard's head slowly turned around his shoulder, with a shocked look on his face. A few more seconds later, he pulled together enough courage to ask. “... Context, ma'am?”

Blaze felt a small wave of embarrassment go through her. “Um... from Sonic's world... helped me restore everything? Something is happening with the dimensions, they're here, and need a place to spend the night...?”

The answer cleared up a few suspicions on the guard's mind. He nodded. “Yes, I'll try to explain it to him.” He slid through the doorway, shutting it.

Now that Blaze didn't have anything to say, Sonic decided it was a good time to ask. “Your parents locked themselves up in a vault with this Royal Emerald of yours, along with half of their security?”

Blaze was relieved about the change of subject. “Oh, the vault is much larger than what you would think. There are barracks where guards stay. There's plenty of space for my mother and father to stay, and I'm sure the Royal Guard could handle sleeping on the floors next to the bunks, if there's not enough space.”

Sonic nodded, leaning against a pillar. “Since you're only talking about your parents, I take it you're an only child?” Sonic stopped, to see Blaze bob her head to confirm his guess. “And what is the Royal Emerald, anyway? I asked you before, but you were cut off.”

“Oh. The Royal Emerald is, in appearance, a large red Sol Emerald. It gained its name for quite literally being the crown jewel of my family. Because of its size, and no real use, the first king decided to chisel some of it off, and give all those with Royal blood permanent marks of royal family, at a certain age.”

Sonic was looking down, imagining it, when he noticed Blaze rubbing her forehead from the corner of his eye. Except, actually looking at her, he realized she wasn't. She was rubbing the round gem that was embedded in her skull.

Blaze went on. “Some people say the Royal Emerald gives fire powers to the family, and the tradition should stop, but my father says it's just a big emerald, and the fire powers are just genes. I mean, my ancestors had fire powers, too.”

“Hmm...” Sonic grunted in understanding. “So the Royal Emerald's your version of the Master Emerald?”

Blaze didn't get it quickly, as she had to scour her memories of Sonic's stories from the time they spent on Southern Island during Sonic's initial visit to her dimension. She finally remembered it, and noticed similarities. “Oh, it seems so...”

The two fell silent for a moment. Blaze felt that she hadn't really explained enough, but didn't want to force things on him. “Is there anything else you want to know?”

Sonic remained quiet, but then spoke, a smile reaching across his face as he asked. “Something's been itching me for a while now. Tell me: Describe the process you went through to get to my birthday party.”

A heavy, uncomfortable, and slightly disturbing silence was held between them. It lasted a minute, when Blaze started explaining in a very educated manner.

“Erm... um... uh...” The confused cat stupidly stammered, getting more embarrassed with each babble of a word. “...I... uh... didn't...”

Sonic threw his hands in the air. “WHATEVER.”

Just a moment later, Gardon, Tails, Amy, and Cream were walking in through the door into the grand hall. They were awed by the vastness of the hall, Cream gasping in delight. They walked over to the cat and the hedgehog, and began to comment on the castle.

“Blaze, this castle is HUGE!” Tails boomed.

Cream giggled. “And pretty!”

“Ah, yes, it is truly marvelous.” Gardon stated. “But her highness and Sonic have come here for a reason. Probably business, so no-”

Blaze interrupted him. “Actually, what I came here for was already acted upon: The rest of the Royal Family has moved into the Royal Emerald vault, along with some of the guard. I asked a guard to see if we could stay the night in the castle, with protection of course.”

Gardon was surprised. “Glad to see you are thinking ahead, and for the family. And, about our stay, they allowed this?”

“I haven't received a response just yet. I wouldn't see why they wouldn't let them stay. I think they would have earned a night here in his eyes, at least.”

Cream intervened. “So this kingdom of yours... are there others, Miss Blaze?! What's it like being a princess?”

Amy thought it was a good time to get some information. “Doesn't royalty have to go through arranged marriages?”

Blaze was a bit worried. The questions were good questions; just putting them in a good way was hard. “Uh, yes, Cream. There are others. There are three main countries in this world: Soleanna, the Nega Empire, and Polaritine. This kingdom is Soleanna. It's fairly large, and has control of plenty of islands in the seas. Southern Island is one of them. The Nega Empire, led by one of Eggman Nega's ancestors, tried conquering Soleanna two hundred years ago under a different name, with different ideologies. He was stopped, and killed, which then his children took his place. They lived to their family name, being eggshaped and trying their hand at world domination, when came Nega. Nega thought differently from all his family, abandoned the tradition of attempting world domination in favor of world destruction, simply because he thinks nature produced the world wrong and wants to reset it. Except for his people, though. They're fine because he got them to believe he was right.

“Polaritine has seen us as a rivaling nation for over a thousand years. We don't constantly fight, but they've always been trying to outdo us. They were almost as big, almost as powerful, and almost as good; almost. Fairly recently, the king died, leaving his son in power. Within days, it's driven to the ground. It's not even funny; it's not a joke. It's a tragedy. Eggman Nega wouldn't go in there and take its land; he doesn't want its people. My father won't go in there and try to fix things; they would drive him out. It's sad, really. The prince has been trying to fix things, but is getting desperate. Very desperate.”

Something clicked in Sonic's head. “Like, desperate to try to kill you, desperate?”

Cream gasped at Sonic's words. “Sonic...” Amy groaned, disappointed that he couldn't watch what he said around Cream.

Blaze was silent for a moment. “Next question. Being the princess is alright, I guess. Doesn't help that some key people don't like me.” She snapped her finger, a tiny flame erupting from her pointer. “And this is why. They don't think I'll make a nice queen, threatening others with my powers. They think it's a... curse.”

Disappointed and saddened looks streaked across her guests. This alternative world seemed more at unrest than they had hoped, and they suspected she had it better than she let on. Blaze's face matched theirs for a moment, before straightening up. “And as for the last question, not anymore. Arranged regal marriages was abolished shortly after the reign of a lovestruck queen a couple centuries ago, whose love ran off. It was a good choice, as the only other monarchy was Polaritine. You have no idea how much I lucked out.”

As she was finishing the sentence, it became apparent that there was a rhythmic clacking sound and footsteps making their way toward them. Heads turned, and there was a tall, middle-aged man with curly grayed hair, clad in a strapped maroon waistcoat and white trousers, strutting towards them with a black and silver cane with a ruby handle and a toothy grin that had more gold in his mouth than legitimate teeth. In his other hand, he held a young boy, also fancily clad, skipping alongside him. With a tug, the boy stopped his merry skipping.

“Ah, we all did with that one!” The Noble cheered. “Just imagining you getting with that other freak, yeesh. Don't want to see those kids.”

“Oh.” Blaze said, with the slightest bit of fear in her voice. “Hello...”

“Yeah, hello.” The Noble replied, his eyes shifting from the princess to her guests. “Who are these guys?”

“They're... my friends.” Blaze answered.

“Your friends?” He laughed, before bending his knees so he could get to eye level with a blue one. “They have names, don't they?”

“Yeah,” Sonic began, a bit apprehensive. “I'm Sonic the Hedgehog.”

The Noble's eyes darted to the ceiling, his head bobbing as he thought. “Sonic the Hedgehog, where have I heard that name- AH!” The old man wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him in. “I know you! You're Blaze's boyfriend!”

Whatever emotion that was on Sonic's face disappeared, and the room fell silent, save for a mysterious grinding sound. The noble looked over to see a pink hedgehog, grinding her teeth, her eyes withholding immense anger. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, the Noble thought to himself.

“No.” Sonic said powerfully. “No I am not.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. Was that a misconception?” He said, backing off, holding up his hands as he stood up.

“Don't worry, I go through something like this every day.” Sonic moaned.

The Noble chuckled.“Heh, sorry... Say, what are you doing here? I thought you weren't... from here?”

“Something is happening,” Blaze intervened. “You know how an assassin tried his hand at my life this morning?”

The Noble nodded, stroking his chin. “Right after court, yeah. What's that gotta do with them?”

“Well, it turns out he has something that allows him to switch between dimensions at will... leaving behind portals...” Blaze explained.

“Ah...” The Noble let out. After a moment, he gasped. “... AH. How'd he do that? I thought the closest we got blew you into that burning city place.”

“What?” Sonic asked immediately after that last statement.

“Well, the closest we got. There are...” Blaze let out an ahem. “... other scientists that are working on such technology.”

The Noble understood. “Oh, I see. So this guy can pretty much hop through dimensions like lanes on an empty highway?”

There was a slight pause as Blaze considered the reasoning of his analogy. “... I guess.”

“I see, now this guy seems like a threat. Sure, he's got some great improvisation, some nice endurance, and impressive trash throwing skills, but he is so hilariously bad when it came time to shoot, I think my grandson here could have beat him in a one on one fist fight, ain't that right, chum?”

“Yeeeaaah!” The child roared, throwing his arms in the air.

“Adorable, ain't he? Anywho, since this guy can pretty much pop out of nowhere, now I'm actually kind of worried.” The Noble said, beginning to backpedal away. “The guards are telling us to leave, and now that I know, I don't blame them. Being near you is just asking for trouble!” The Noble turned away, and lifted his hat off. “Well, have fun hunting!” As he put his hat back on, his grandson began skipping again, and he began skipping with the child out of the room.

As the door shut behind him, Sonic leaned over to Blaze.

“Jesus, this guy screams “disregard females, acquire currency” to me.” Sonic whispered.

“That's pretty much his policy.” Blaze assured in an equally quiet tone. “That's all their policies. Dethrone me, get the throne for self.”

“Wait, wait, wha...?” Sonic replied, shocked.

At that moment, the guard from before came peeking his head through the doorway. “Your highness?”

Blaze sighed. “Yes?”

“The commandant has been informed, and has made changes according to this information. Also, he has guards in position for you and your guests to stay the night.” The guard announced. “I'll lead you and your guests there.

“Thank you.” Blaze responded.

The band of heroes began to follow the guard through the castle halls. Along the sides, suits of armor and portraits of former kings and queens decorated the halls, but having grown tired, the guests gave not much attention to the decorations.

“So, in the morning, we'll split up into groups, alright?” Everyone was mildly surprised to hear Sonic actually coming up with a plan before it was go-time for once. “We need to retrieve Shadow's gang quickly so they don't wander off to who knows where. Perhaps on the way out in the morning, we can ask for maps to the area so we know how to get around.”

“Me and Sonic both have earpiece communicators on ourselves, so if we were in different groups we could stay in contact.” Tails stated, taking his earpiece out to show everyone. Sonic was alerted by the statement, and withdrew his earpiece from underneath his sock to also exemplify it, garnering less praise than Tails for his rather disgusting treatment of the device. “So splitting up seems like the best idea.”

There was a silence as everyone agreed. There wasn't much to say about that subject anymore, so Tails decided to revive an old topic.

“I've got a bad feeling about that guy,” Tails yawned, stretching his arms behind his head. “He was charismatic, but perhaps too much.”

Amy caught Tails' contagious yawn, and responded with one of her own. “Yeah, who was that guy anyway?”

Blaze looked at the guard, cautious if he could hear her. “Hopefully, it shouldn't matter. But in case you do need to know his name... Gerald Tower, a noble. His family gained nobility for their ancestor's work at commanding forces a couple hundred years ago. They seemed worthy of the honor, up until now.”

“Up until now?” Tails repeated in wonder. “What happened?”

Blaze paused, a bit confused on how to say it, or if she should. After awhile, she messaged her temples with her fingers. “I don't want to talk about it.”

Mostly everyone was fine with her answer. Tails, Amy and Cream saw that it could be a touchy subject, Gardon understood already, but Sonic felt differently. He was about to try to get her to chew it up and spit it out, but then the guard answered.

“Trials.” The guard said, his voice low and monotonous. “After an incident with her then-unknown fire powers at a party, the noble families all gathered around and sent suit after suit against her, saying she'd use her fire powers to gain more political power.”

The cat's head sunk low as she felt the stares hit her. It felt uncomfortable to her, being the center of attention, and felt sorry for by all present.

“They say she has too much going for her, like seven years of witch trial after trial isn't enough going against her.” The guard mumbled on as he reached a doorway and stopped. “There's nothing noble about them, but they're a royal pain.”

Blaze, realizing she was at the door to her room, made her way in with haste, taking the time to lock her door.

“Those creeps are gonna cause a civil war over her, and she hates the attention.” Rambling on, the others thought he was just thinking out loud by now. The red-dressed guard led the walked down several more doors, talking to no one at all about the situation, until he stopped at another door. “The guest rooms are this one and the next four rooms, though you shouldn't need all of them. There's two beds a room, and plenty of furniture if you all decide to cram into one room.”

Gardon stepped forward. “Thank you for the... explaining.” The koala turned to the otherworldly guests. “I have a spot in the barracks with my name on it, and I will make sure your doors will be guarded throughout the night. Good night.”

With a couple good nights exchanged, they picked rooms, and went to bed. There will be a long day ahead of them.

BOOM BEHBEH. As you can see, I'm ain't playing around with this shit. There's always something plot changing or awesome in each chapter, I guarantee. And it's ONLY GONNA GET BETTER.

[Mr. Awesomest]

Chapter Four: Not in Kansas

Tails woke up sprawled across the bed, having a good night's sleep. These royal beds were so comfortable, the beds feeling like clouds and the blankets as fluffy as his own fur. He looked over to Sonic, sleeping sideways on the blue arm chair with a likewise blanket tossed over himself, covering almost all of him, except for his quills, however those blended in with the surroundings, as if it were camouflage.

Tails got out of the bed, now refreshed from the good night's sleep, took the time to examine the room around him. The walls were patterned with royal blue and purple designs inspired by water. It was very subtle, it seems, as Sonic hadn't noticed it before. He made his way over to the window, and saw the cityscape. This seemed to be the old fashioned section of town, because in the distance he could see almost familiar sky scrapers assembling together, towering over the mostly small, classical buildings of the city surrounding the castle itself. It was a nice sight. He felt like Sonic, kind of, taking time to absorb a good view whenever he got the chance.

A knock upon the bedroom door rattled Tails from his aspiring hero trance.

“Oh Sooooniiiiic!” Amy's voice chimed as she knocked on the bedroom door.

As Tails went over to the doorway, he decided to try to hide the fact Sonic was still asleep. One, it might be funny to tell him about it, two, Sonic needs his sleep. With his objective in mind, Tails opened the door.

“Good morning Amy.” Tails greeted, stepping aside to let them in. “Looking for Sonic?”

Amy nodded as she accepted the greeting. Cream followed her in, a frown on her face. “Yeah, Cream's getting a bit worried, and I think she needs some true blue rejuvenation.”

The fox tilted his head. “Oh, what happened?” Tails asked.

Amy leaned against the blue chair's armrests, looking down. Cream went up to her side. “Cheese was feeling sick yesterday, so Cream left Cheese at home. Now she thinks he's feeling lonely, and feels bad...”

While Amy was explaining, Tails noticed the blanket Sonic was under creep down his face, revealing the wide-eyed, alert, and tense hedgehog, whose lips seemed to shout “DOOOOO IIIIIIT” yet remained silent, as he stealthily pulled the blanket back over his face and ears.

Tails quickly snapped to meet Amy's eyes. “Oh, well, Sonic went out searching early. Didn't even leave through the front door, he just blasted out the window. He had the decency to open it, at least.”

“Oh...” Amy sighed as she pushed herself into a typical standing position. “Well, thanks anyway. Come on, Cream, maybe-”

“Maybe I could come along?” Tails asked.

Cream's face lit up as she looked at Amy with a smile. “Can he? Can he?”

Amy smiled lightly as she looked at Cream. “Of course he can.” She turned to Tails. “Come on! Any idea on Sonic went?”

Tails followed Amy as she and Cream went into the hallway. “Not a clue, really. Wherever the wind blew at the time, probably.”

Amy laughed. “Guess we know where we're headed! Come on!”

Before Tails left, he looked back at the sly hedgehog from under the sheet again, to see him with his arm in the air and a thumb raised in approval. With inspired courage, Tails shut the door and ran to catch up with Amy and Cream.

Sonic arose from his camouflaged chair, wiping the sweat from his brow. “That was close!” The cocky hedgehog laughed, almost loud enough to be heard by Amy down the hall. Thankfully, it was only almost. He took a moment to look around, before hopping out of the tantalizingly comfy arm chair. He decided to look out the window and scan the city. Not just look at it; scan it. Paths, loops, and all those crazy things he had back home. This city didn't have many that fit his liking; specifically, he couldn't see way he could typically make it to the roof of a building, without climbing the walls or the fire escapes or some such thing. Well, not from where he was sitting. If he were higher, he could get more of a birds-eye view of the city.

He could climb the tower.

That idea hit him like a train, and as the train passed, he could only smile in pure euphoria. Climbing up this work of art had to be hilariously fun, and it must have an awesome view, like he wouldn't believe. He wondered if he would be above some clouds at that height. And the thought of climbing the building itself, getting a hands-on look at the architecture that went into this marvel of over-accomplishment in castle-building made him grin.

“Alright, let's do this.”

…

Awakened by the sound of footsteps, Blaze woke up rather late. She tends to lock herself into her room for days after people outright try to kill her, a habit most people in her world have come to respect. However, she has things to do, and people to meet, so she reluctantly gets up, and leaves the room. She asked a guard where her guests stayed. Being told Tails, Amy, and Cream had just left, she decided that left her pinned with Sonic, and Gardon, if he decided to come along.

Blaze made her way over to the room she was told Sonic was residing in, and stopped to wonder what exactly she was getting into by getting out of bed this morning. And on top of that, being with Sonic was a coin toss between either side of the safety spectrum. Sighing, ready to accept whatever the day brought her, she twisted the door knob, and pushed the door open.

“Alright, Sonic, let's-”

Blaze saw Sonic's legs suspended from above the window, his feet on the window pane, closing it shut as he pushed himself up the castle.

“Oh, son of a...”

Blaze rushed to the window, and slammed it open. Cautiously, she put one hand on the window sill and the other on the glass, took a breath in, and leaned out.

“WHAT THE HELL, SONIC!?” Blaze screamed in genuine anger.

“Good morning to you too, Blaze.” Sonic replied with his trademarked sarcastic tone, scaling the castle.

“What are you doing up there?” The cat asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

“Oh, I'm gonna scan the city, find routes, and after that I'm gonna jump across the moat, walls, and streets onto that building there from up here.”

“Does “insanity” have a definition to you?” Blaze asked. “Have you tried a map?”

“Oh, what, a cat's too scared to climb a few trees?” Sonic teasingly joked, his laughing coming to an abrupt halt as he heard the crackle of flames. “OKAY OKAY point taken, I'm sorry.”

Sonic pulled himself onto the slanted roof, dusting off himself as he looked up at the towers. These high towers held staggeringly high viewpoints on the city; not quite above the clouds as he had imagined, but good enough to satisfy his hunger for a bird's eye view. Before Sonic went further, he felt he had to address his partner.

“Look, are you coming up here or not?” Sonic asked.

Blaze looked down at the moat about sixty feet below her. “I'd rather not...”

Sonic was about to respond to her answer, when the he realized something. His ego was becoming inflated. His eyebrows flattened at the notion. Well, more inflated, than usual. After a moment of reevaluating the situation, the resolutions he saw, and their possible implications, he sighed as he had to pick one.

“Fine, fine.” Sonic said, dropping back down onto the ledge.

“What?” Blaze asked.

Sonic answered between breaths as he bent down, returned his feet to the foot holds he used to get onto the roof, and began to climb back down. “I'm getting off my high horse.”

Blaze backed away from the window, and Sonic swung into the room. Blaze was jarred by his choice.

“Er, you didn't have to–”

“Hey, friends first, alright?” Sonic interrupted with his reasoning. “Besides, nothing's gonna happen to me or the tower, so don't worry about it... and quit giving me that stare like I just jynxed it.”

...

Shadow awoke on the concrete floor of the storm drain. Through weary eyes, he saw that Rouge and Omega were up, discussing important matters: Location, location, location.

“... doesn't work?” Rouge asked in surprise.

Omega nodded, however attempting this action came off as a tiny bow. “THE SATTELITE CANNOT BE DETECTED. PERHAPS THIS IS BECAUSE OF OUR BEING UNDERGROUND, BUT THIS STORM DRAIN SYSTEM IS MUCH DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE IN STATION SQUARE, IF MY DATA FILES ARE RELIABLE. IT IS MUCH LARGER.”

Rouge understood, looking around the green and white color schemed room they were in. “Oh, well. We'll get topside and we'll get the connection back, once Shadow gets...” Rouge stopped talking once Shadow began to rise. “Oh, you're awake.”

Shadow yawned. “Mhm. So what's this about sattelite connection...?”

Rouge crossed her arms. “Maps, Shadow. I think you would have overheard us last night, Shadow, but you were dozing off.”

Shadow groaned, as he recalled he was. He welcomed the concrete floor's cold embrace several times quicker than his comrades. Omega stomped over to the massive metal door at one end of the room. It had to be thirty feet tall.

“Last night, Omega was getting confused because he wasn't able to connect to any G.U.N. radio frequencies. Instead, he got radio stations that neither of us knew existed. This sparked an debate on whether or not we're still in Kansas anymore. Soon after that, I dozed off, and he kept on trying to fix the connection. Overnight, he noticed the storm drain layout of Station Square was different, and then just started throwing everything at the wall to see what still stuck. And apparently, nothing.”

As Rouge finished, a loud mechanical noise roared behind her as the door began to lift. Omega's “machine smooth talking” prevailed once again as he turned to his comrades.

“THE LANGUAGE OF MACHINE IS THE SAME. STILL THE SACRED ZEROES AND ONES.” Omega stated. “SUCH RELIEF, IN SUCH DESPAIR.”

The door opened to reveal that they were at the bottom of a large pit, its walls metal and bearing scaffolding all the way up to the top. Pipes along the sides of the wall and ladders on each scaffold seemed to clutter the giant hole.

“Alright boys,” Rouge began, flying above them. “Grab on.”

The ascended up the storm drain, which proved to be a tiring task for Rouge, as Omega was certainly not a light-weight model. He did not receive the designation “Walking Arsenal” for carrying only what was necessary. When they reached the top, they found themselves at a construction site. Workers looked over, in slight confusion, but returned to their work without much of a second thought.

The buildings looked much different than those in Station Square. Many were laid in brick, some had Gothic architecture, and from them flew the flags of a nation that they've never seen before. Along signs of the stores were brand names that did not exist, and not far from where they were flowed a canal, with a smooth stone bridge arching over it. They stood in silent wonder of this foreign place, for a moment. It was broken by Omega's powerful words:

“SATTELITE CONNECTION: NOT FOUND.” The robot boomed.

“Yeah, we're not in Kansas anymore.” Shadow said, walking away from the group and toward the barbed wire fence. “Let's find out where we are, exactly, outside of this construction site.”

With a swift jump, Shadow leaped at the cargo crate next to the fence and kicked off it, landing himself over the fence. Rouge followed by simply flapping herself over, whilst Omega used his thrusters to propel himself over and with his allies.

“Alright, should we split up, find clues and come back here, or stick together?” Rouge asked her group.

Shadow's eyes traced behind her. “I don't think that will be entirely up to us.”

Rouge turned and saw what caught Shadow's attention: Tails, Amy, and Cream were running up to them.

“Hey.” Tails greeted. “Listen, we're all going to search the city, and try to find that assassin before he goes for anybody else.”

The black hedgehog saw that coming from a mile away. “Alright, do you have a plan on how to find this thief of the night?”

“Shadow, he's hilariously bad at stealth. How he snuck up on you boys is beyond me, because every step I heard him take made the sound of a window breaking.” Rouge joked. “Even the ones he didn't make made noise.”

Tails interjected. “Anyway, we plan on splitting up.”

Shadow smiled, just as he expected. “Alright, whatever you say. Rouge, Omega, come-”

He was cut off by Tails. “Nope. I'm going with Rouge and Omega. You're going with Amy and Cream.”

Shadow almost laughed at the thought. “What?”

Tails began to explain.“We need to find this guy, and all of you together would try to get away from us and return home. Not like that would work, anyway.”

Rouge, seeing as how Tails mentioned their location, had to ask. “Oh, well, do you have an idea where we are?”

The fox smiled. “Yes. We're in Blaze's dimension. And before you go back to the portal we came from, I managed to find my way back to it, to find that the portal's gone, so if you tried ditching us you're stuck here.”

Amy threw in her two cents. “Yeah, and I don't think Blaze would take running from an agreement nicely, especially since this is her kingdom!”

Shadow clutched his skull in agitation for a moment. “I know that, ugh. Okay, okay. We'll work with you, just–” Shadow pointed at Rouge. “Stop warmongering. The better I look to these people, the better my mood.” He turned to Amy. “And you too. Stop it.”

In obvious dissatisfaction amongst them, they split up in the formation Tails said. They split, and began scouring the city.

…

The chameleon groaned. “We just HAD to take this route, didn't we?”

The crocodile grinned. “Yup, cause the longer route we take, the more area we scan for crime!”

The bee giggled. “Yeah, and Vector's always right!”

Through the meadow walked the Chaotix. They were on the way to a crime scene, something about noises around an old lady's house keeping her up at night, and they were taking the scenic route. Which meant going out of their way to the “Rabbit Residence”, as the bee called it, trying to find it catchy but ultimately failing.

“Except when he's wrong, though.” Charmy the Bee added. “Then he's wrong, and more importantly not right.”

“Wow, I THINK YOU'RE ONTO SOMETHING!” Vector the Crocodile shouted sarcastically.

“But really, why are we stretching this far away from the contract's position? This place is further away from our agency than the destination.” Espio the Chameleon pointed out. “Take this as criticism, my friend, but this is foolish.”

“Foolish?! HA!” Vector laughed. “You use that word so much, it's lost it's meaning to us, right Charms?”

“... Erm, boss?” Charmy dragged out, looking to the distance.

Vector was irritated. “What?”

“Uh, look!” The bee pointed down the path.

Vector rolled his eyes over to the direction his apprentice was pointing. “This better be GOOD, Charmy, you wasted a perfectly good comeba-”

Vector's rambling cut short at the sight. Seeing as how what was to be seen left the biggest mouthed of them there speechless, Espio observed what lay in the path ahead; the Rabbit Residence. He spotted three robots outside the front door. Orange, round, silly in animation. Eggpawns, definitely.

Espio withdrew one of his many kunai, closed his eyes, and began playing out some of the numerous scenarios that could happen. He could stealth take out one robot, kick its carcass to another, and toss a ninja star at the last one. Or he could jump from head to head, destroying their heads with kunai while on top of each one. Or, he could jump from behind, throwing two stars at the two robots in the back, and kick the last one's head into its body. Yes, that was a simple and one that can be pulled off efficiently.

“Alright,” Espio began. “Let me hand-”

Espio then saw Vector charging down the path, with Charmy in tow. Espio sighed, and pinched his brows. The chameleon dashed after his reckless comrades.

Meanwhile, down the road, where the trouble was brewing...

“No, I won't come with you!” Vanilla screamed at the robots.

“THAT IS NOT A REQUEST MA'AM.” The robot stated. “THIS IS AN ORDER.”

The mother didn't know what to do. She opened the door because Cream was out for the night, and she thought had come back just in time to see Cheese better. But she wouldn't have answered if she knew it was to these things. Not while E-Mel was still charging. She wasn't left with too many options here. Or perhaps there were more options than she knew. For example, could these robots even fit through the doorway? That'd open up a plethora of things she could do.

While considering their stature, Vanilla heard something whiz by her. Suddenly, Cheese had slammed into the face of an Egg Pawn. It was startled, throwing its arms in the air, spinning, and backing up. Vanilla shut the door in fear, hoping perhaps Cheese could handle these enemies. Somehow.

The robot twisted and turned with the Chao on its face, guns pointed at by both. An emergency procedure began where in case of a latching opponent, it would attempt shooting off the latched on object. As the arm drew the hand-gun closer to its face, Cheese saw some opportunity raise. Without haste, Cheese smashed into the hand, causing it to shoot at another robot. He then pried the thumb away from the pistol. Cheese then pulled the trigger when the gun was facing its rightful owner. He pivoted the pistol around to the last robot, who had his pistol aimed right at him.

Suddenly, the robot was lifted by its sides, and after a moment of panic, the metal robot was torn in two by Vector. Cheese dropped the weapon and stuck his hands in the air, only for Vector to pick him up with one hand and plop him on his shoulder, laughing.

“Oh, how ya feelin', Cheese Bond?” Vector asked the Chao.

“... Chao.” Cheese answered exquisitely.

…

Eggman stared blankly at the computer screen. His jaw lazily hung agape as his powerful mind tried to comprehend what he thought he saw through the first person cameras of the Egg pawns, just moments ago.

His robots.

Outsmarted and beaten by a Chao. The Chaotix, he was okay with; they've done so before. Even Charmy has destroyed the motherboard with a sting to the face of his robots.

BUT A PET CHAO, ON ITS OWN.

There was no way, he could not believe this. Eggman clenched his forehead with his aching hands. This is just DISGRACEFUL. He felt like he ought to steal that Chao, and hold it ransom against that girl, wherever she was. He'll get to that later. But first off; How would he get this Chao... Cheese, was it called? Not only can it fend off his standard enemy, but it was guarded by the Chaotix. How would he get it away from the Chaotix.

Considering, he glanced toward Metal Sonic, sitting in standby in its chamber. A moment later, he threw his hand in the air, a “bah” sounding grunt coming from underneath his hilariously large mustache. The Chaotix had fought Metal Sonic before; this particular model, actually.

There were a couple models of Metal Sonic he kept around. Metal Sonic 3.0 was used during those times he tried teaming up with Eggman Nega–who claimed to be from the future, of this dimension, fighting Silver. Eggman never understood the raving lunatic. For a couple months, he's from an alternative dimension, then, he's from the future, and now he's back in the other dimension. Anyway, Metal Sonic 3.0 was undergoing upgrading, in an attempt to surpass Sonic's capabilities, but was not due to be finished during this campaign.

The Metal Sonic in Eggman's current presence was the traitor. It abandoned him, and assumed his identity to collect the powers and data of twelve of Sonic's friends, rivals, and people he couldn't really care about, in an attempt to become an ultimate being. As punishment for this treason, Eggman created another, more loyal, and superior Metal Sonic, and used it more often, giving the two-faced Metal Sonic less of a chance to even see the blue blur he hated so much, let alone put him out of his misery.

Eggman walked over toward it. As it stood in its chamber, connected to a charging system to fuel its already low-energy standby, it could still perceive movement and sound within a distance. It could barely make out Eggman's stare from beyond the glass, and it could hear his sudden burst of laughter, as the fat doctor walked away out of hearing range and into the darkness.

As he plomped into his round chair, Eggman brought up a program he used to design his robots. Deciding to forget the hostage idea, he figured it would be better to create a new type of robot to catch these heroes off guard. These robots would be sent to a robot manufacturing AI elsewhere in the facility, as well as his database. This was all the Eggman needed to bring his master plans into reality.

The problem was conceiving them. Eggman sat in his chair, staring at the screen. For an evil genius, Robotnik had to admit he wasn't too creative with his designs. Almost all of his robots were built with a concept in mind. From the Motobug to the Time Eater, all his creations looked remotely like something in the field he wished the machine to excel in.

“Hmm...” Eggman mumbled. “What do I want... It needs to be a resistant robot; Tall, menacing, durable, not to be felled by a petty homing attack, and definitely not its own weapon! What I need is a juggernaut, that will take any-”

Eggman stopped.

“Juggernaut.”

“GEEEEEEEENIIIUUUUUS!!” Eggman exclaimed with glee as he began working on this robots, which will be supplied with special weapons, and utilize a more powerful AI to employ special tactics.

He could see it already; standing tall, donning a dome shaped helmet, protected by mighty cauldrons and black-steel body armor, a mighty machine that could cause Sonic and his friends to flee by the menacing wide-angled shaped crimson visor alone. They will cower in fear, from the dominance of his LATEST and GREATEST CREATION:

“... Er...”

Eggman's visions came to a complete halt, as he drew a complete blank on the subject of naming this marvelous idea.

“Bah...” Eggman sighed, placing a finger on the intercom button, and speaking into the mic with audible displeasure. “Cubot and Orbot, get over here and help me name this thing...”

...

“Vector!” Vanilla greeted from the doorway.

Vector looked over, and grinned. “Hey! Are you alright?”

Vanilla smiled gently in return. “Yes, I'm fine.”

“How did you like our brand of JUSTICE!?”

Laughing politely, Vanilla shook her head. “As much as usual, Vector.”

Cheese flew off the crocodile's shoulder as he began to flex. “Is there anything else the Chaotix Detective Agency can do for you?”

“Uh, Vector...” Espio began, unheard by his comrade.

Cheese glanced around, looked at Vanilla, and pointed down the road. “Chao chao.”

Vanilla caught what Cheese was trying to say. “Oh, Cheese! Vector, can you find my daughter, and bring Cheese with you? She left with Amy to meet with Sonic and Tails yesterday, and I haven't seen her since...”

Charmy was shocked. “WHAAAT. She left without CHEESE? That's like having a hotdog without mustard!”

“Or a pizza without sauce!” Vector added.

“... Like cream without cheese.” Espio said, resting his face in his hand.

“WE'LL TAKE THE JOB!” Vector announced.

“What about our other client!?” Espio asked with his face shooting up from his hands with agitation written all over it.

Vector shook his head. “Bah! It was the same old lady as last time! You know, the one that buried her cat? And I thought, after that whole doppelganger conundrum, we ought to take our time getting there, in case something even crazier than THAT went down.”

Grumbling, Espio gave in. He'd rather be on the streets than searching for a half-dead cat making noises with its throat clogged with dirt.

“We'll deliver Cheese for you,” Vector promised as he turned to Vanilla. “And we'll make sure your daughter's safe!”

“Thank you, Vector!” The mother replied.

The crazy bee flung himself away from the group. “C'mon guys! We gotta go FAST!”

The trio dashed away from the house, leaving Vanilla in the doorway.

“... Those guys are hammier than a pig.” Vanilla laughed, closing the door.

The Chaotix rushed straight to Station Square. No scenic routes, no delays, nothing. They only slowed down if they were caught up by some Egg Pawns. As they drew closer, they noticed an increase in robots and their variety.

When they got to the city, it was comprehensible chaos to the Chaotix. Robots and enforcers skirmished in the streets with equal efficiency, laying waste to each other with matched fighting ability. Bits of machines and some blood littered the streets. As the Chaotix rushed through the broadway-turned warzone, Eggman's machines turned their priorities from the G.U.N. soldiers to the trio and the Chao. This opened a window of opportunity for the soldiers to place missiles into the robots without fear of swift counterattack. The robots blown to bits behind him, Vector gave the solider who got the last one a thumbs up.

“Hey, I know Eggman's attacking the place, but any idea what the big picture looks like?” Vector asked. “What the numbers look like, what Eggman wants, where Sonic is...?”

A man dressed fancier than the rest took a step forward. “I would know a little bit on that.” The lieutenant stated. “To answer your questions in order; it seems the sides are about even in size and power. Our men don't all have the kind of weapons to be taking on these robots, but our tanks, mech walkers, and robots are constantly moving around to where help is needed. There's also some joking about the radio about a giant truck with some heavy cannons in the back, which I think is just joking because I swear if they DID give that thing firepower... anyway. Eggman hasn't made an announcement about anything, which is peculiar for him. Something we shouldn't trust.”

“Perhaps this attack was a ruse, of some sort?” Espio brought up, putting his wisdom on the table.

The lieutenant nodded. “It very well could be, but the higher-ups should already know about this. And about Sonic, we have no idea. And we lost all communication with and idea where our operatives Shadow, Rouge, and Omega are. So really, there is no big picture, so we're just tasked to hold the city, expecting worse to come.”

The situation did not please Vector at all. Not only was Cream not around here, but it seemed as though it there was no one especially cut-out for city saving in the city.

“Well, this city needs heroes.” Vector began, interwining his fingers and cracking his fingers. “And, ladies and gents of Station Square, THE CHAOTIX AGENCY IS ALWAYS THERE!”

The crocodile, with fire in his eyes, charged in a random direction screaming something along the lines of “da Cha-ah-tix ain't nothin' ta fuck wit”. Espio raced after him, shouting at him to get him to calm down before he gets hit by that giant truck the lieutenant mentioned. Vector had quickly found some robots to blindly run at, when suddenly an airborne car flew into them and blew them away like the wind picked them up and whisked them into the sky.

The cause of this came running out from beyond the corner, looking around in panic. Espio remembered the hairstyle anywhere. This white hedgehog, with yellow eyes, and neon blue streaks on his palms, was Silver the Hedgehog. Silver's head was turning back and forth frantically, before looking above, and below. Seeing his chance, Silver lifted the sewer lid in the center of the street with his psychic powers and hopped in, closing it after him.

Before anyone could begin to question his presence here, a faint voice was heard coming from around the corner.

“... thief, when I get my hands ON YOU, YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU NEVER TOUCHED MY EMERALD!!”

Everyone in the Chaotix could tell who that was any day of the week. Knuckles raced into sight, having seen where Silver had gone. Paying no mind to the Chaotix other than a passing glance, Knuckles jumped, and punched the lid. This rocketed the metal plate down under the streets, and Knuckles fell into the hole, chasing Silver.

After a moment of silence, Espio spoke. “As much as I'd like to do something... Let's not get involved in their problems.”

Vector's berserk rage had calmed down. “I think we should help Knux.”

“Yeah, he's our friend!” Charmy chimed.

“Look, I'm friends with both Knuckles and Silver, and I don't want to multitask.” Espio groaned. “I'm just not in the mood for drama today.”

“What, are Thursdays the new Monday or something?” Vector asked.

Espio shook his head. “Nah, it's just been a rough month. I mean, that whole... doppelganger incident happened just last week. I think everyone's had their fair share of anger, sadness, and disappointment for a good while now. Everyone was upset and we spent a lot of our efforts trying to track down a conspiracy, which was actually looking pretty fruitful, only for the guy to show up at his own funeral and take the casket, with the body in it.” The chameleon chuckled. “After having the case taken from us and put in the hands of the CIA and FBI, I just think I need a vacation, not get tangled up in another perilous tale.”

“You know, I wonder what happened to Mouse...” Vector trailed off.

“Anyway,” Espio began before Vector went on. “I think we should stick to finding Cream, giving her Cheese, and then protecting the city. I mean, Vector we are crime fighters, and we should know that Eggman is breaking many laws with this invasion, right? And we have people to save?”

Vector was the slightest bit apprehensive.

“And there would ought to be some reward in exchange for-”

Grabbing Espio and Charmy and pulling them into a group hug, Vector cried out, “ALRIGHT!” He lifted one of his arms and pointed toward one of the taller skyscrapers. “LET'S SAVE THIS CITY!”

Vector ran forward, with no real plan in mind. Charmy followed, humming “I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts”, behind him trailing Espio, whose blank expression was hiding well the fact that he thought a show about the Chaotix and their day-to-day antics would be very successful.

...

Later in Blaze's dimension, the search for the assassin was much less successful than the thought of a Chaotix sitcom. As a matter of fact, they spent hours roaming around. Blaze thought she could act as a tour guide for Sonic in her world, but to her displeasure he instead ran around and asked “hey what's this?” to everything they had come across. Shadow was fairly annoyed by the girlishness of Amy and Cream, and Tails was felt a bit alienated by Rouge and Omega, who did not enjoy his presence. The one thing that they had managed to do was memorize the city. Talk over the radio decided that they would meet in the castle, or outside it, to turn in for the day. Tails, Omega, and Rouge were first to call it quits, withdrawing into the castle. Half an hour later, Shadow, Amy, and Cream agreed to end their search, despite being a somewhat functional team. If only it had been completely focused.

“This city isn't that pretty, Cream.” Amy debated. “Sure, it's certainly nice, but Sonic's taken pictures of prettier cities and sent them to me.”

Shadow felt like he needed to interject. “He posted those in the chat, so it was to everyone.”

“Oh, yeah, well either way. Hey Cream, why don't you go to the chat? It's just for us. Sonic, Tails, me... there's no one you don't know.”

Cream sighed. “Mama says I shouldn't.”

Amy wanted to refute that point, but when it came to her realization that their topics weren't always the nicest topics… Well, that and Sonic, the owner of the chat and a bonafide dork, was always kind of passionate about the chat. Perhaps it was his string to us on the days he was away traveling and didn't want it to get “tainted”, as he put: meaning, degrade into romance debates, even though no one in the chat was even in a relationship like that. He assumed it would have degraded to talking behind each others' backs. But he didn't always argue; he often figured other people's problems out. He even gave Shadow a rundown of the last fifty years of history, because he was in cyrogenetic slumber throughout the entirety of the Cold War. Sonic can be a bit brash when it comes to his dislikes, but he's a nice guy.

Amy's head lolled back as she daydreamed. Oh, how she yearned for the day, when he would finally fall for her. When the wind will pick up the rose petal, and have it float with it, dancing, living, lov-

“We've been waiting outside for them long enough.” Shadow's statement broke Amy's chain of thought. “Let's head inside.”

“Sonic said he'll be right over, so I'll wait.” Amy responded.

Shadow sighed. “That was five minutes ago, but fine. And Cream...?”

Cream looked back. “No thanks, Mister Shadow, I'll say with Amy!”

His expression showcased Shadow's disappointed feelings. “Alright.”

The black hedgehog began making his way to the illustrious building. The hell was Sonic doing? Now, Sonic loves seeing sights, but even on a bad day he would have been done with this whole town hours ago. Was the idiot chatting up Blaze or something? Shadow snickered as he passed through the doorway. Well, Shadow couldn't blame him for being relatively useless and getting a tour more than he blamed Amy and Cream for spending their time doing the same thing, rather than attempting to find their objective, the assassin.

Shadow stopped in his tracks.

“... Wait a minute.” He said under his breath.

Nearby, the assassin avoided choking on his own fear.

I actually had to cut this chapter a bit short. There was a few things I wanted to delve more into, but didn't. Perhaps I'll write little side-things where I can flesh that stuff out. Because it was too long already, and Sonic's birthday is today and I thought "wouldn't it be awesome to update today", I decided to drop this chapter a bit short of the end I anticipated it to have and instead made that scene the beginning of the next chapter.

Happy birthday Sonic, now go learn to swim in the seas of ale and absinth.

[Mr. Awesomest]

Since Cola and the rest of them disowned the original version of Sonic Goes to the Store, I decided to keep the original here.

CHAPTER 1

SONIC GOES TO THE STORE

It was a beautiful day in Station Square. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Sonic was taking a nice slow walk to the grocery store. Ironic, huh? Tomorrow was Tails' birthday, and Sonic was going to get supplies for the suprise party. He wanted to make it awesome, and make sure nothing went wrong. Kinda like Sonic's last birthday, with the giant time eating robot and the time travel and the past selves and UGH. It was so confusing, Sonic preferred to not think about it. He has nightmares about it still. Anyway, on Sonic's way to the store, he bumps straight into a familiar figure...

It was none other than...

...

DOC?!

"Oh! Um... Hi Sonic! I was just... picking up Evil Juice! For... my robots!", said Eggman.

No, not that Doc! The other one!

"I don't get what you're saying! I'm the only Evil Doctor around these parts! ...right?", inquired Eggman.

"DONT GO THROUGH THE DOOR", Tails suddenly shouted from nowhere, ruining the chances of a Back to the Future crossover.

"T-The door into summer?!" Tails interrupted

"NYEH SHUT UP TAILS!" Sonic angrily shouted as he suddenly gained the voice of an English schoolgirl

Eggman shouted, "H-hey! Where did Tails come from?!"

"The door into summer...?" Tails nervously replied.

"What door into summer?", Eggman asked.

"The door to the wisps destiny, broham.", Knuckles shouted.

"Just follow the blue road, to the east of the tanooki tree...", He continued.

"KNUCKLES HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING WEED AGAIN", Dr. Eggman shouted.

THEN BLAZE SHOWED UP!

"HOLY CRAP BLAZE." Sonic shouted. "WHERE THE HECK DID YOU COME FROM?! WHY IS EVERYONE APPEARING OUT OF NO WHERE?!"

Blaze replied, "Magic." And snorted twice, for she had a slight cold. This would come in handly later for some random reason. How? We'll think it up. Somehow.

"PINGAS!" Eggman blurted out. Everyone then looked at him oddly. "What?" he asked. "Everyone was going crazy, so..."

"Ok, ok, that's it! I need to go to the store!", Sonic shouted. "Eggman and Blaze, come with me! Knuckles, you stay with Tails. YOU TOO SHADOW!" and your mother, is a very nice lady, shouts eggman.

Shadow said, "How did I even get here? Who am I? MARIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Sonic took ahold of Blaze and Dr. Eggman's wrists and dragged them off in the direction of SEGAmart.

MEANWHILE, ELSEWHERE...

Metal Sonic stood there, in standby mode. Although he was not active, Metal Sonic still felt it. Despite the good doctor programming him to be "more tolerable" than his fleshy counterpart, he was becoming impatient. He hadn't been used in years. He longed to reach toward his fleshy counterpart and wring his neck. But no. It had to wait. Before he could do that, he had to get out of the confines of Eggman Enterprises. For now, he was sitting there, in purgatory, an agonizing blankness that he felt would never en-

Suddenly, a door was opened and Eggman yanked Metal out of his containment tube. Eggman stared Metal in the face and said, "We're helping Sonic out for once. Play nice, and after the big party, I might let you go after him. Get it?"

"What is it, exactly?", the Egg-shaped man replied, furrowing his brow.

Metal replied, "I want to be the person that ends his pathetic life."

"Two things are wrong with your statement.. First, you're a robot. Also, what would you do after you kill him? I'd have to repurpose you to be a cleaning robot. Just beat him within an inch of his life. Besides, I need a nemisis too, you know! You think I really leave these big holes in my plans? No, it's all on purpose!"

"So what you want most, your dream empire, is nothing now?" The robot responded, curious.

"No, no. I still want the empire. It's just, I feel a better sense of accomplishment when I have somebody to beat, you know?", said the doctor.

"Yes, but... isn't Sonic someone to beat?" Metal Sonic asked, slowly losing faith in the doctor he had put so much patience into standing.

"Eh, it's a bit complicated. We'll talk about it more after the party, alright? Now come on, I'm gonna install a mouth and taste receptors into you", said the Doctor as he led his beloved creation down a corridor.

MEANWHILE,.......

Blaze, what is the meaning of you not doing your homework!, said teacher Rittenbach.

Immm Imm Imm sorry. I didnt mean to not do it, I forrgot :(The more you go next to the house of miss rittenbach, the more you will want to go into the haunted store. Just remember to go with a witness, The kid named cola- what the heck am I saying lol. I am soooooooooooooooo confused. Then te guy fell down the stairs got knocked on conscience, and got an concusion, but dont worry the docter fixed it all. 3,0000,0000,0000 dollars later. Dr. Eggman ( The Doctor) was brought to court by blaze. For knowingly what AM I WRITING LMAO

THEY WERE GOING TO THE STOOOORE.

"WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED" Sonic shouted. "THE STORY QUALITY IS GETTING WORES. MY CENTSES ARR GETTING BADDER AND BADER"

"There must be someting causing this!" Tailes pointed aut smartedly.

Sonic chuckleded. "If there WUZZN'T something making dis worse, it was written by CWC."

SUDENLY, John Freeman who was Gorden Freeman's brother came ranning down street. In his hand held deviece that distortled reallyity nd maed spelling and grammer bad. but Sanic couldnt act en time, as John Freeman had ran buy alerady at supa fast speeds, and realyity was slowly turning bak to normal.

"Whoa ho, what?" Sonic laughed, holding his head.

"It seemed that the device messes with the forces that drive the rationality of reality." Eggman had pointed out the obvious.

"I never even MET a person named that." Blaze noted.

Sonic crossed his arms. "So, what do we call this device we saw that guy with?"

Eggman scratched his chin to think. "Hmm... Why not be literal and call it Reality Distortion Device, or RDD?"

"I say we call it the Plot Device." Blaze announced.

"Heh, yeah, that sounds about right." Sonic replied.

"Oh, perhaps we should go after that man? Find some way to reverse-engineer it and make it not work, or perhaps make a counter device?" Eggman suggested.

"Okay, yeah, sure, but AT LEAST LET ME GET MY FRIGGIN' GROCERIES."

"Fine.", both Eggman and Blaze pouted. Metal stood there with a blank look. He then went back to devouring a Chili dog with his new moth and taste buds.

"Wait, when did Metal Sonic get here?!" Sonic asked.

"He's been standing here the whole time! When you went to get money from the ATM, I went to my lab, woke him from statis, gave him a mouth, and made him promise not to squash your head like a melon." Eggman replied. "He must have been hidden for some reason. Perhaps the Plot Device can completely cloak people, and make them seem like they are not there. Unable to react, unable to even see or speak. This is a powerful device..."

"ALRIGHT. ENOUGH. Let's talk about this while walking. Ever heard of multitasking? Yeah, come on.", Sonic grumbled angrily.

"Yeah, that's probably the best course of action." Tails said.

"Wait, when did you get here?" Sonic asked.

"Oh, I got here after the whole teacher thing."

Sonic rose his voice. "You're supposed to be with Shadow and Knuckles! Where are they?!"

"Oh, um..." Tails looked around nervously, and laughed with the same emotion. "I'll find out! Stay safe!"

Sonic thought to himself, "He probably tied them up and locked them in a closet. AGAIN. uuuugh. And I swear if he takes out a chainsaw like he did at the halloween party I swear I'M GONNA-"

Sonic's thought was interrupted by a neck-tie wearing gorrila running past him. The primate snatched up Blaze, who was suddenly wearing a dress for no reason.

"Help! Sonic! Eggman! Do something!", she screamed.

So Sonic and Eggman dressed up in overalls, chased the gorrila to the top of a construction site while jumping over barrels, and saved Blaze. They then had a picnic. For the sake of not boring you, the reader, we shall head to another place...

MEANWHILE, IN THE ORBIT OF JUPITER...

Mighty took pride into aiming his pool cue, sticking his tongue out the side of his mouth and closing one eye. He intently pushed the cue back and forth, to make sure his ball would go right here he wanted it to be. Knowing that his trajectory was true, he pulled back the cue and sent it forward, knocking Europa into Io, and sending the moon into the stormy red spot in the planet's sky.

With a sense of accomplishment as Europa flew away, he threw his hands in the air. Seeing as he's had his fair share of Jupiter Pool, he dropped the stick, and began to strech.

"Wait a minute." Mighty said, rising from his strech. "The "stretch" was spelled wrong. In my presence. What is going-"

Suddenly, he saw, coming from the planet Earth, an object. It was a colorful object, all colors of the rainbow, but primarily pink. He was thinking of that terrible, annoying video on Youtube when suddenly he heard something.

In SPAAAAAAAAACE.

"...nyan nyan nyan nynynynyny nyan nyan nynynynyny-"

"WHAT?!"

"NYAN NYAN NYAN NYNYNYNYNY NYAN NYAN..."

As it grew closer and louder nd eventutitually began circling round heem, Mighty felt the world arund he got more and mare retrded. Da clauds of Jewpiter became a dessert, the moons maed from cheeze, and sound culd move through nuttang. Butt, for whateverer reson, Mighty was not affected. Awnleey tah wurrl aroond he.

Than, thankfully, it left bakc to Erth, nd Mighty was left to wonder.

"... What?" The armadillo said, raising an eyebrow. "My common sense is tingling, and it is saying that whatever the FUCK that just was, it's going to be a problem."

Mighty looked around him. He plucked the pool cue from space, and looked over at Jupiter. If there was not a moon on the other side of this massive gas giant, his name was not Mighty. He chucked the pool cue with all of his might, and rolled into a ball. Within seconds, it came back after having bounced off of Callisto. With the force he threw it, the pool cue had ricocheted back to him, and when it hit his hard shell, it propelled him toward Earth.

That thing was trouble, and you know what Mighty does to trouble? He used to punch it in the neck, but the last time he did that didn't really fix the trouble so much as multiply it by millions. But it was resolved in the end. Now he usually just watches. Usually. Who knows.

Mighty pulled out his trusty cell phone and dialed his best buddy, Ray the Flying Squirrel. Remember him? Yeah, him.

"Hey Mighty! We're still on for tonight at the Mobius Strip, right?", said Ray.

"Yeah dude, but listen, when we're there, I need to talk to you about something. It's definetly trouble, and I think it might be caused by our old nemesis."

[Author's note: This bad guy isn't Eggman, because we're making him a good guy for this ridiculous excuse for a story. Don't like it? TOO FUCKING BADwaluigitime okay whatever]

"... Aw CRAP! I'll tell the others, we need to get going!" Ray exclaimed.

Mighty nodded. "Yeah, do that. I'm gonna follow this thing..."

END OF CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2:

MEANWHILE, BACK ON EARTH...

Sonic, Blaze, and Eggman were laughing over a likely story Sonic was telling. It was about the time Sonic wished for a mountain of hankercheifs.

"... And- and then? Oh yeah! Instead of wishing for something ininitely better, like the ability to grant my own wishes or having all the world's problems fixed, I wished for a mountain of hankerchiefs just to humor her. She thought I was pitying her but TO HELL WITH THAT!"

The group had a whole hearty laugh for a nice moment. This moment of cheerfulness was ended abruptly when Sonic stopped laughing suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Blaze asked, laying down.

"Look, what's that?" Sonic said, looking to the sky.

Both Eggman and Blaze traced his eyes to where he was looking; a rainbow-spewing poptart cat in the process of atmospheric re-entry. It was heading in at an angle, and it looked like it was heading for them.

At that moment, Sonic stood up and shouted "WATCH OUT, IT'S GONNA CRASH! AAH!"

But no, as it was getting closer to the ground, it curved up, nd soarered RITE ovr deir heds, liek 2 feat. it wass a epic miss. Blazz wachet from ground as Nyan cat flew at over 9000 miiles perhowre towrd stitan squaer.

"AGEN?!", Sonic scream at top of lung. "ADSFAWDFSDAFDDSAADSFDASSAFFADSDFDSFASFD"

"DER MUST BE ANOTHER!" Bloz shooted.

"AND POROBABLY EEVN MOAR!" Egmun shreiked like little girl.

"This es frustration!" Sonic shouted, as the distortion settled. "Why does the story keep turning to us? What happened to Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow?! AGH"

Sonic randomly started making out with Blaze. What? The story needs romance, hear it is. Alright?

"Wait a minute..." Eggman said, looking at the ground. He lifted the picnic blanket and saw- HOLY SHIT WHAT THE KENTUCKY FRIED FUCK IS THAT.

MEANWHILE...

"DAMN IT TAILS, YOU KNOW HOW I DON'T LIKE BEING IN THE CLOSET WITH THIS EMO FAGGOT!" Knuckles shouted.

"I'M NOT EMO GODDAMN!" Shadow retorted.

"So...you're a faggot?" Knuckles questioned.

"SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, YOU HAD EVERY CHANCE WITH ROUGE." Shadow retorted.

Tails was sick and tired of being the sidekick. And now was his chance to shine. Before him stood a recolor, a monster, a terrible creature created by the effects of the plot device when it had passed by. And it was annoying.

"OMG HAITAILZ ITS MEEE, GANJA DA HEDGEHOG, WE KNOW EACH OTHERRR!" The MONSTROCITY of a living being squealed.

"I thought we killed all of you before..." Tails said, clenching his fists.

"OH YUS, YUU DID, BUT III'M DIFFERENT! I CAME FROM UR MEMORYS!

"Who would have memories of...of...you?" Asked Shadow.

"OH, dat's what I said to soem MEPHILIFISIS GUY. He was mean. ;~;"

Tails was confused. "Who?"

"MEPHALIFISIS, though I call him O'mally. He said he caem from suppressored memries within you guys, JUST LIKE ME! except he was meen and no one loves him but he looks kinda cool I mean he looks all CRYSTALLY nd COOL nd HE LOOKS JUST LIKE SADOW."

"...Sadow?" Shadow asked hatefully.

Tails was curious. "Did you ask why we remember him, or why we don't?"

"Oh, he was... BEING MEAN TO YOU ALL, and tried getting this GOLD guy to hurt you and your friends, but something went really wrong along the way, two people kissed, and then he wished he had forggotten it all LIKE YOU DID!"

".....Gold? Do you mean Silver?" Knuckles asked annoyed.

"YUS YUS I mean Silver I's sorry." Apologized the mentally retarded recolor.

"Alright, that's enough out of you. " Tails stated.

SO THEN TAILS GRABBED A CHAINSAW AND...

"STOP STOP STOP" Yelled a dorky looking kid.

"WHY?! THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT PREPUBESCENT FOX HAS DONE ALL DAY!" Shadow yelled.

"Ok, look, I'm one of the writers, and I KNOW none of us wrote in your memories of 06. What happened?", Cola (this guy's name is Cola by the way. Agh, now I'm talking in the 3rd person. Make it stoooooop)

"But...but 06 makes everything better!" A Young kid with some school medal said.

"STOP." God said, tearing a hole in the sky and ceiling with his hands. "SONIC 06 WAS BAD, I ADMIT IT. THAT'S WHY I ERASED EVERYONE'S MEMORIES OF IT. I don't want to remember it either. Nerdy children, do NOT explain '06, it is for the better. Besides, in order to make up for that catastrophe, I wrote this up. Okay carry on"

"Ah, finally! I can get outta here! Although, quality fanfictions do have author insertions. Tell you what, I'll just pop in every now and then. Alright?", said Cola.

"But, we created a crack fic." Shrugged the kid stranger, Xenos.

"NO IFs, ANDs, OR BUTTS, XENOS", yelled Cola. "We're keeping the story from advancing."

"Yes you are. NOW CARRY ON."

The sky, and with it the ceiling, closed as God pulled them shut. Cola and Xenos swiftly ran out of the apartment. Oh yeah, and before that, Cola turned himself into a T-Rex and busted a huge hole in the ceiling. FUCK YEAH.

"Now..." Tails said. "Back to business."

SO TAILS GRABBED THE CHAINSAW AND...

BACK WITH SONIC, BLAZE, AND EGGMAN...

As Eggman stared down at what the hell he just found, Sonic and Blaze were discussing their past adventures...

"And remember when we started boosting towards eachother?" Sonic asked.

"Towards eachother.....?" Blaze looked up to let her memories roll.

"HEY! I WAS THERE TWO!", Eggman shouted in the background.

{FLASHBACK}

As both cat and hedgehog was burning with wind and fire respectively, they charged and clashed head first.

"Give up! You won't stop me from my goal!" Blaze claimed.

".....You may know everything I'm going to do..." Sonic started.

"But that's not going to help you, since I know everything YOU'RE going to do! STRRRRANGE, ISN'T IT?!"

"GRRRRRREEEGHH!" Sonic growled as he picked up the pace.

"Wait...what?" Blaze said, confused.

{END FLASHBACK}

Blaze looked back at Sonic with a skeptical face. "Why... did you say that, anyway?"

"Cuz I'm sanc" said Sonic, arms folded in pure sexy glory. He had his foot prodded on a small purple rock, which startled a group of nearby fans and started an entire argument built on this movement.

"... I THINK I FOUND A PLOT DEVICE!" Egguman told them. "There wuz a reason you 2 were acting up..."

The heros stood around device, looking at it.

"It's very small..." Blaze said.

"THATS WHAT SHE SAIIIID!" Sonic shouted.

"But shes rite, it ISS samller than other Plot Devieces. Their effect isn't as sever, but still can corrupt minds to the poeweress of WHOEVER THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE."

Blaze suddenly wanted to burn a small piece of wood and light yarn on fire. But she forgot about it.

"Is i poible to desteroy thees plotz deviciz?" She asked.

"Weeellllllll, loking at it, it seems to be coatled with a laiyer of some sort... Ah, yes. Plot Armor. It's a safe bet thatthis cannot be destroyed normaly this is our best chance at destrying others"

"Haow iz eet?" Sonic asked.

"Its seemple, plot devices destroy plot devices! Hat or a mary sue. Or gAry stu. Fahnny, you should know."

"HAY!" Sonic shuted, taking ofense to that. "Can we tawk normal?"

Eggman stuvved the Plot Device into picanic bakset and wrapped blanket around it. It seemed to subdue the weak forces.

"Well, now that we got that out of the way, what do we do now?" Eggman asked.

"I say we should follow that cat, thing..." Blaze dragged on, getting lost in thought. "... Sonic, you told me about a "Big" character...?"

Sonic shook his head. "Oh, no, Big is purple. And not a pop tart. Though, he's just as stupid. And how about getting my goddamn groceries. I have a surprise birthday party I need to get stuff for. Why the hell did we have this picnic anyway?"

"Uh, gorrilla, you two saved me, decided to celebrate?" Blaze refreshed his mind.

"What if that was just some Plot Device induced hallucination? I mean, that was friggin' Donkey Kong, and it was Mario who did that, not- Oh yeah I'm wearing these overalls."

Eggman got in between them. "Bah, whatever. The thing is, Sonic, there are bigger things than birthday party preparations to deal with. Can't the groceries wait?"

"... Oh, hell with it. Sure. But you're paying."

"But I need the money for another evil death trap to kill you!" the doctor replied.

"YOU'RE. PAYING.", Sonic snapped angrily.

And so the quartet of Sonic, Blaze, Eggman and Metal Sonic packed up their picnic and began heading toward Station Square. They had no idea what twisted reality they were in for... But they were prepared.

...

They were so prepared. Nothing could distract them from their mis-

"HEY LOOK A BAKbbbKERY", everyone yelled saimootaneously.

They enterred the bakrey, and sitting at able was Trawn Guy with bag of beagles and plot device. Tron Gai looked sad.

"There's one of em" Sanic wispred to Bloze.

"A BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO" weeped he tron guy, making a face like (((((

"oh god he has sex frowns" Sunic whispered.

"Hey, waht happen, meestar?", the Eggmun siad.

"I GAWN CRAAZYYYY!!!11!" Trun guy whaled. "I KEEP SEAING AND HEREING CWUAZY STAHF! TEH GARMMER AND TA SPALLNING AN TEH STAWRY!"

"MAEK ET STAAAAAWP!", he craid.

Sanic pointed at poot device. "DAT DEVICE ES DOINK IT! GEEV IT 2 US!"

"but its pretty pretty shiney shiney and luks like me ;_;"

"Butt Trawn Gui, if yuu doesnt give us plot device, yuu will have stay liek this for the farever!", Bleza sayd.

cying, he slammed faceinto bag of bugles and sang sad songs of sadness.

"AW WEO IT IS MEEEEEEE :CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC" Yalled trun gyu.

Sudenly John Freeman who was gorden freemans brother runned into bakrey and bumped into tran guys plut device. john Freeman went puuf alung with his plut decive, restaring everything to nurmal, slowly but surely. Sonic and the crew were relatively stunned.

"Oh my GOD." Sonic shouted. He turned to Blaze to ask "Did you see the MOUTHS on that motherfucker?" Blaze was petrified.

"I'm curious as to how he ate those bagles..." Eggman wondered.

"WHY." Metal Sonic asked loudly, not expecting an answer.

After shaking the thoughts nightmare fuel they had just observed out of their heads, they began to talk about the Plot Device's weaknesses.

"Well, it seems even if a plot device touches another, it destroys it, as well as its holder." Eggman stated. "Or, possibly, sends them to another plane of existence." [author's note: When destroyed, both holders go to Sonic '06, and must stay until it ends and time resets. Then they are sent back.]

"Another plane of existence..." Sonic repeated, thinking.

Eggman was too curious. "... Are you going anywhere with that thought or-"

"Say, can we stop by my apartment? I need to pick up a couple things before we go trying to take on other plot devices."

"Sure." Blaze said.

The doctor was all too excited for the hedgehog to lead him to his apartment. "Ooh, and what may you be wanting to fetch from your apartment?"

Sonic thought for a moment.

{FLASHBACK}

Sonic was bored. He had fairly recently restored the entire world from being broken into seven pieces and its core, by Eggman. The usual timespan between adventures was two weeks, so he had plenty of time to kill. He was looking through boxes of stuff he didn't really use anymore, when he came across a book. It was a thick, black hardcover book. Sonic flipped it over to look at the title.

"KING ARTHUR AND THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE"

"Oh yeah," Sonic said. "This is one of those books that Tails gave me for my birthday last year. I read one of them while on vacation, got sucked in, and I never touched another. You know, what are the odds that all of these books are like that? You know what,"

Sonic took the book out to his living room area. On the counter next to the couch, two chillidogs lay waiting for him. He laid down on the couch, and opened the book.

Within a second both Sonic and his chillidogs were gone.

...

About five hours in real time later, the book shot open, and out came Sonic. He shook his head as he got up. Sonic looked back at the book. He went on some crazy adventure defeating the Knights of the Round Table with the help of a talking sword. He got ripped out of reality to do it. He looked at the clock, and noticed only five hours passed.

But he had spent five days in the book.

It was then Sonic realize the book might actually have some practical use.

{END FLASHBACK}

"Oh... things that'll be helpful." Sonic admitted.

END OF CHAPTER 2.

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3:

Big had lost his friend Froggy once more. He was searching all around Mystic Ruins for him, fishing in every puddle, lake, and stream he could find, when suddenly, here came Ganja da Hedgehog, flopping like a fish down stream and onto Big's hook. Big pulled the green hedgehog out of the water and on the shore of the lake.

"You look familiar..." Big stated.

Ganja opened his mouth and pulled out a fish. He tossed it aside and pointed at the fat cat. "OH I REMEMBER YOU! UR BIIIIG! I alwuys tought u wer prty kewl."

Big looked confused. "... Gaaanjaaaa?"

Ganja put a finger against his chin, thinking, and suddenly had an idea, complete with lightbulb. He opened his mouth again, and pulled out cooked frogs legs.

Big would recognize those legs anywhere.

"...F-froggy?", Big asked with a worried expression.

"Nuuuuuu! It is Noorten! Frend of Frogy!", Ganja exclamed.

"..." Big was silent. SUDDENLY, Big grew an extremely manly mustache and his chest fur level doubled. His voice also got noticably deeper.

"So, you cooked and ate Norton, Froggy's best friend?", Big said firmly.

"Yah! Yeh!"

"Underwater?"

"Yup yup."

"OH, YOU'VE SCREWED UP BIG TIME, MOTHERFUCKER!" Big yelled.

He violently grabbed Ganja by the neck and held him up with one hand. "YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, HUH? HUH? BECAUSE OF YOU MY BEST FRIEND LOST ONE OF HIS PALS, BECAUSE YOU FUCKING ATE HIM, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Oooh, water YOOUUU gonna do bout it, muscle wizard?!" Ganja mocked.

"I CAST FIST!"

A mushroom cloud swept across the Mystic Ruins and pierced miles into the sky.

Ganja's fur has disintegrated, and he's lost a few teeth. The trees around Big have been knocked over, and there is a large imprint of a fist in the ground. FUCK YEAH.

"Don't fuck with me, Ganja. Wanna face my fist of fury again? HUH, YOU LITTLE SHIT?" Big yelled.

"But teh last time I got puncht liek that, I died so hard I DID THE OPPOSITE. I lived, and MULTIPLIED into BAJILLIAONS of clones, including SUPER MARY SUE OVER POWERED RECOLOR RECOLOR Ganjas. Oh and a dozen of us got captured by Amy, painted blue, and used as sex slaves. Are you SURE you want to do that?"

"Mighty hasn't perfected his techinque yet. I have. I CAN PUNCH YOU SO HARD I CAN ERASE YOU FROM THE FABRIC OF EXISTENCE. MIGHTY LEARNED EVEYTHING FROM ME. I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO PUNCH YOU BACK TOGETHER TO FIX THE WHOLE DAMN PROBLEM! I DID IT ONCE, I CAN DO IT AGAIN!"

"Dude, he INVENTED pain. He was pissed off that armadillos make up 12% of Texan roadkill, and then made texans look like the most retarded people on the planet. One week later, George W. Bush was elected. His name is an acronym for Mighty Is Gonna Horribly Trash You. THE WORD "ARMAGEDDON" COMES FROM THE WORDS "ARMADILLO GETS IT ON", for pete's sake. Even I KNOW THOSE FACTS."

"Common misconception. Mighty says that to make himself look like more of a badass than he really is. It's not true."

"OI, LARDASS!"

Big turned around, not at all threatened or offended by the insult. He found himself staring at the revolver of a purple weasel.

"What are you up to this time?" Fang the Sniper asked through clenched teeth.

"Nice to see you too, Nack. I take it you're going with Mighty and Ray to the Mobius Strip tonight?"

Fang growled. "Nah, I juss got back from dere, actually. 'Ey said that somethin' was up, and it's probly an old nemesis a' ours..."

"Figures. Look, I need to find Froggy, he ran off again. Explain while we look."

The two were about to set off on the search, but the hedgehog had to make himself noticed to Fang. "HAI I REMEMBER Y-... oh please don't hurt me."

"WAIT." Fang swung around on his heel to walk over to Ganja. "YOU AGAIN?! I SWEAR TO GOD I KILLED A MILLION OF YE BLODDY SHITFUCKS LAST TIME, WHY THE FUCK ARE YA BACK!? HOW THE FUCK ARE YA BACK?!" Fang pointed the .44 Magnum at Ganja with immense hate in his eyes.

Ganja's weak knees clacked twice before saying "GAATTA JUICE!" and blasted off down the stream.

"Bloody cunt fuck," The weasel cursed, putting down the pistol. "This shit is BAD."

"Now, about "this shit"..." Big inquired.

"Yeh, about this shit." Fang began, as they began to search for Froggy.

BACK TO SONIC, BLAZE, ETC.

The four walked into the apartment building and walked into the elevator. Sonic pressed the '20' button, and the elevator rose. It stopped at the 19th floor as a fatass couple squeezed their asses into the elevator. Because of their immense weight, the elevator went all the way back to the first floor. And then they went back up to the 20th floor after an hour of waiting for the stink to clear out.

"Agh, finally!" Sonic shouted as he finally walked into his apartment.

Metal replied, "I appreciate the fact that the Doctor did not give me smell receptors. Otherwise, I would have had to endure that horrible stench."

"So what is it you wanted to get, Sonic?", Blaze asked.

"Oh, a couple things, but first I need to put out some air fresheners. Settle down and let me get them." Sonic said, walking into his closet. He took a couple air fresheners, and held them to his nose, taking the smell with delight.(They smelled like lavender, Emerald Coast, and Chili Dogs, respectively) He then ran around the small apartment, placing them. He returned to his closet, and grabbed a book. He left the closet.

"Is that it?", Blaze said, looking at the fairly large book.

Sonic shook his head. "Nah, it's not. But..." He walked into his room, and pulled open a dresser. He pulled out a large, familiar green gem they all knew well. "This is."

"Why do you keep a Chaos Emerald in your dresser?", Eggman asked.

Sonic chuckled. "You think I keep clothes in these things?"

"And why don't you own a mansion, or something?" Blaze asked, jumping on his bed. "Surely you could afford it."

Sonic began to back up toward the window. "I don't really stay here that much. World traveling and-"

THMP

He slapped the glass, making Amy fall off the fire escape.

"Aw shit what?" Sonic asked, swinging his head around. He opened his window, and looked out. "Oh God damn it, Amy camped out on my fire escape. AGAIN."

"AMY! ARE YOU OKAY?", he shouted out the window.

"I'm fine, my darling Sonic! There was a matress truck parked outside!"

"That's a relief! But could you PLEASE stop camping on the fire escape? This keeps happening!"

"MARRY ME FIRST!"

"NO WAY!", Sonic shouted as he slammed the window shut.

"I told her to stop before, but she just keeps on doing it. That's why I spelled her name wrong in the Chao in Space 2 credits.", Sonic said. "Everyone else's names are wrong because they guy typing the credits was a pirate. He could only see with one eye and had to type with hooks on both his hands. I felt bad for the guy and didn't want to have to fire him, he was a great worker. He has kids, too. He's like.. the complete anthesis of a pirate in terms of personality. It's weird."

"Alright, is that it?" Blaze asked.

"Yup. That's it. Now let's go, before-"

Amy had reached the window, and swung it open. "Can I come with you?!"

Sonic briefly wondered if this was a good idea or not. But, since getting out of bed today was not a good idea in the first place, and all logic has since left the building, he thought why not. Unfortunately, he was so used to saying 'No' to Amy that he instead blurted out, "No. I left Tails with Shadow and Knuckles, and I'm pretty sure he's got the chainsaw out again. Can you maybe go bash his head in with that Piko Piko hammer of yours? For me?"

Amy's smile faded. She glared at the cat laying on his bed with a glare that seemed to send death threats and insults.

"NO AMY I AM NOT DATING BLAZE SHE JUST CAME OUTTA NOWHERE OK? IF YOU LOVE ME YOU'LL GO CHECK ON TAILS FOR ME AND MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T FIND OUT ABOUT THE SUPRISE PARTY."

"Oh, I knew that." She assured.

"I'll go do that." She began to pack up her camp fire and walk down the stairs of the fire escape. "BYE-BYE~!"

"Besides, Metal is here. Do you remember what happened last time?", he yelled after her.

Amy didn't answer, though she heard what he said. She was busy plotting.

"AMY! YOU BETTER NOT BE PLOTTING AGAIN!", Sonic shouted with an insane amount of rage.

"Fine.", she pouted. 'But I'm only doing this because I love you!"

"Amy, you don't understand. I've had a rough day, I'm trying to set up for a suprise party for my insane pre-pubescent adopted brother, and I haven't even gotten to the store yet. Alright? If you make sure to not plot or anything, I'll make you some cookies!", Sonic shouted down the stairwell while holding Metal away with his hand. Sonic is an excellent cook. It's one of his favorite pastimes. Didn't know that? You do now.

Amy decided she had better plans, ".....Instead of cookies, could you throw Metal Sonic down?" She batted here eyelids innocently.

Sonic blinked, and decided, if Metal Sonic was gone, it'd be one less recolor! So he put a grip on Metal Sonic's head and swung him down quickly.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Eggman asked.

Sonic replied, "Sorry! Old habit! Why would she want him, anyway?"

Blaze, Sonic, and Eggman stared down to see what was happening.

Metal Sonic was backed into the wall as he stared at the demon figure about to bring the Piko Piko Hammer of judgement down.

"You...dare...try to hurt my BOYFRIEND?!" Amy bellowed.

"I didn't even touch him." Metal Sonic replied. "I'm hardly even acknowledged."

"But you just appeared in 2 spinoffs, an anniversary game, and are in an upcoming game in development." Amy said bluntly.

"You've been in more games than I have, despite us being introduced at the same time, in the same game.", Metal replied.

"AND SINCE WHEN DID YOU GET A MOUTH?!", Amy noticed suddenly, her jaw dropping.

"When he decided to have a snappy attitude like Sonic...I blame myself for that." Eggman face palmed. "He has a faceplate to cover it, but he's been eating Chili Dogs all day. Just like... Sonic."

"Maybe you should get over your obsession with Blue Hedgehogs, doctor." Blaze added.

Eggman shrugged plainly. "He was originally meant to be as close to him as possible, but there of course was the need to make him loyal, and stay loyal. I also gave him sharper fingers, etc."

"Were sharp fingers really gonna make a difference?" Blaze asked bored.

"Not really, but that's not the point. The point was to-"

Sonic was walking away. "Let's just GO already, we've got an annoying Nyan Cat to kill and a plot device to destroy."

"Um, Sonic, you're forgetting one thing." Eggman began.

"What?" Sonic asked impatiently.

"Overalls."

"What overalls? Oh.", Sonic said. "Eh, they're comfy. Come on, let's get going!"

"But I'd like to change ba-"

"RED ALERT, RED ALERT" Sonic shouted, leaving the room. Blaze sprung up from the bed and ran out the door. Sonic grabbed Metal's head and dragged him into the elevator. Eggman groaned, and followed, still not in his preffered attire. Sonic, Metal, Eggman and Blaze entered the elevator. Amy stood there, awestruck.

"What just happened?", she asked herself. She ran down the stairs to see if she could catch him.

MEANWHILE...

Tails gripped his chainsaw firmly. Shadow and Knuckles were looking at Tails in fear. They knew what he was doing again.

Shadow wondered why he was still standing around, so he grabbed his hammer-space'd emerald and prepared.

"Chaos...CONTRO-" *PIKO PIKO*

Amy burst through the wall and simultaneously hit Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow with her hammer, knocking them out. She then tied them up and locked them in a closet.

"There!", she said with a sense of accomplishment! "No more trouble, and I can go back to looking for my dear Sonic!" She pranced through the hole she made in the wall and headed to her house in the Mystic Ruins, where the was going to get more rope, her tarot cards, and a bigger hammer. On her way home, she spotted Ganja outside her house, eating a Taco. Just as he was about to take a bite, She rushed to him and held him in a death embrace.

"Gotcha! My darling Sonic!", she squealed. "I'm never letting you go!"

"OMG ITZ YOU!111!" Ganja squealed. "GO AWAY UR SCAWRY D&="

"Wait, I'd recongize that voice anywhere...". Amy mulled over the situation. "...and he smells funny..."

"IT'S ONE OF THE RECOLORS! HOW DID YOU GET LOOSE?!", She screamed.

Ganja jolted as Amy bit his ear. "RUN AWAAAAYYYYY!!11!11!!!OMGOGMOGMGOMGMGMOG"

And so Ganja began to run, with Amy stuck on his ear like a leech. He twisted and turned, slamming into trees and rocks and destroying them all one by one as the blissfully ignorant fan characters ran toward the city of Station Square with one of the most chronically insane women on the planet with her hands around his neck.

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG HEEEEEEALP", the freak of nature yelled. He ran into the street and got hit by a car. His body flew through the air, but Amy was still latching on. He bit her fingers, landed, and ran away as fast as his little recolor legs could carry him.

She screamed murderously, "GANJA! I'M GONNA FIND YOU, THERE'S NO USE HIDING! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

END OF CHAPTER 3.

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 4:

The plot devices are very, very powerful and mysterious items. No one knows where they came from; there's no records of such items in history, no scientific experiments with insane results, nothing. They came from thin air. How? God willed it. And these devices don't only just bend reality; they can create things. They can emit sounds, odors, money, and often times people. They can also create giant mysterious bases inside a mountain, with one of the most wretched, and sinister of men at its main desk.

One did such a thing.

Inside the largest mountain of Pumpkin Hill, lay a secret base. It is only a few hours old, chronologically, but internally, it seems as though it's been functioning for years. What did this base contain? A hivemind of scientists under one dark, malicious ruler, ordering them to unlock the secret of plot devices, and give him the ability to use them to his dastardly will.

A scientist rushed into the room. The boss was sitting at the desk, waiting in the dark, a shadow over his face.

"Sir, I have good news!" The scientist said.

He was met with a cold stare.

"We have created a plot device that will not deter biological senses, but the other effects are increased twofold, and can be driven by will. We've also created the opposite of this: Being within the range of this new plot device will cut your IQ by 75%, as well as change the minds of the victims! Only while within range, however. But regardless! Your requests have been met. What are your next orders?"

"Send them out." The director said in a calm, well mannered voice.

The scientist was confused. "... What? After all that time, we just, send them out?"

"Yes. You can capture and modify other plot devices."

"But how? I, I-"

"Bring me a plot device. The reality manipulating one."

Without hesitation, he left. The man behind the desk rattled his fingers impatiently. What cowards he had working for him. At least they were loyal, and competent. In a minute or two, the scientist returned, with a plot device.

Plot devices were usually blue orbs, coated with a see-through layer with a yellow ring in it. This one, in particular, was green. The scientist handed this engineered plot device to his boss.

"Here; now, let me ask again; how are we going to capture, and mod-"

The boss held it forward, and and a bolt of electricity flew out of it. Instantly, soemting fell to the flore. A normel plot device!

"There," said DA BAWS. "You may create several more, but I want them out and about soon."

hoombled, he caut the green plot deviece DA BAWS threw @ him and said "Yezzir".

BUTT bfour he left, BAWS called scientist back into office.

"Don't call me 'sir'." Sayed DA BAWS.

The scientificist gulped, and oepend mouth. "Yus... Ganja Prime."

Da scientist ran out of office with both plot devices, leaving his boss alone.

"... Hmph." Ganja Prime groaned as he turned and picked up a remote. He looked toward a monitor, and as he pressed a button the monitor flickered into life, showing not a television program, but a live feed from a hidden camera...

MEANWHILE...

"I TOLD YOU TO KEEP IT SAFE, YOU BRAT!" A loudmouth crocodile yelled.

"Hey, don't yell at me! Not my fault some guy swiped it from me when I was trying to get my ice cream..." A young bee said.

"Vector, Charmy, give it a rest. We can still find it, Our client put a tracking device on it anyway." A chameleon, named Espio interrupted.

The trio of detectives were in a park in Station Square. The sun was shining bright on them, and the sounds of car horns and chatter filled the air.

"How come she didn't tell us that...?!"

"Probably because she thought we...meaning, you two, were probably too incompetent for that information." Espio replied.

"Says the one who got paint on him the last case while doing invisible magic tricks!" The bee, Charmy decided to knock Espio down a notch.

Vector gave a very big smirk, liking it when the bee decided to put Espio in his place.

Espio blushed, embarrassed. As he crossed his arm and grit his teeth.

"That...wasn't...my fault.."

Vector opened his mouth to retort, until his cellphone ringed, he answered it, knowing the number that called him already.

He gulped. "Y-yes...Ms. Rouge?" He answered slowly.

The phone rumbled and blared as inaudible words that Charmy and Espio don't want to hear came from the speaker. Vector clamped his ears tightly.

"Yes, we're sorry, we'll get your item back immediately...." Vector answered as his ears rang.

"You better. Or else..." Rouge theatened, as the line went dead.

Espio looked up at the phone. "Our client?"

"Yeah, and she means it, we better get going." Vector commanded, as Espio took out the tracking device, moving towards the "item" quickly, as the two other members of the Chaotix followed.

The tracking device led the trio to a abandoned warehouse. It was filled with crates of cocaine that were very, very, very fragile.

Espio stopped in his tracks abruptly, now fearing his surroundings. It was dark, and although it was faint, he could smell well enough to know what it was.

...Don't ask why, 'mmkay?

"Vector, I'm afraid we might bite off more than what we can chew in here." Espio said, breaking the steady silence.

"How so, Espio?", Vector whispered.

".....Just, uh...how do I...the crates."

Charmy strained his eyes a bit to see that they were all over the place. "What's wrong with the crates? Are there bad guys hiding around them?" Charmy asked, his fist punching the air.

"No, just, don't. Go near, them..." Espio said, breaking up every word.

"Says you, Espio! I bet you there's something really COOL IN THERE!', Charmy yelled.

He smashed into the crate, breaking it and the ones surrounding it open. Vector, Espio, and Charmy were covered in a fine, white powder. Coughing was heard for a short period until it subsided.

Soon enough, the 3 emerged from the powder, all of them looking pretty much on crack.

Espio suddenly grabbed 3 shurikens from no where in particular and threw them at hyper speed, grabbing 3 more in a blur, doing the cycle over and over.

"OMGWTFBBQNINJASTARZPARTEH?!" Wait, what kind of dialouge is this?! His words are barely audible!

As Espio was doing...'Ninja Stars Party'...Charmy was flying around stinging every inanimate object in sight.

"OOH BOX PRETTY WALL SHOW YOUR INTERIOR AND I'LL STIINNG YOU~" What the hell am I narrating here.

A spider that was roaming the warehouse found himself in a large pile of it all. After a moment of taking in the situation, he began covering his head with it and screaming in his wild spider language "I FUCKING LOVE COCAINE".

Meanwhile, Vector dialed a certain number abnormally fast, his shiny, golden, nice- Erm, what. His golden eyes bloodshot with energy.

He moved his headphones a bit so he could use the phone properly, as someone answered the line.

"Helloo~?" Rouge asked as calm as possible, expecting bad news.

"HaY GIRLFRIEND~" Vector answered in a stereotypical schoolgirl voice.

Rouge quickly realized what happened, and wasn't surprised. "Yeesh, that place has more drugs than a high school party."

"DAAAAYUUUM GURRRRLLLL," Espio began insightfully. "DOSE BOXXESSS..."

Vector yelled into the phone. "So, what size are you babe?"

Rouge's eyes narrowed, her voice a scowl. "...Excuse me?"

"Double D's? Triple? E?" He chuckled.

Rouge was genuinely annoyed, but perhaps she could use his high to positive use. "Oh, why don't you find out? I wedged the tracking device in there, y'know~."

"So if I happened to find this erm, item? You'll let me see?" Vector would hold this over Espio's head forever.

"Ooh, I won't stop you!" Rouge replied, a little piece of her dying inside.

Vector quickly snatched the device from Espio --Not that he was putting up a defense for it-- and noticed it was trapped on a gigantic stack of crates. It was, was...like those big stacks where...where people put in trucks from U-Haul. Yeah, that.

"Oh BOY!" Vector shouted, climbing the pile of shipping containers. Suddenly, his phone began to ring. He quickly answered it. "ROUUUGE, I'M-"

"VEEK-TOR, MY COUSIIIN, WANT TO GO BOWLING?"

Vector started normal for a second. "Who is this?"

"EETS ME, R-aw hell what IS that?"

Suddenly, the other line was cluttered with sound. Through the low quality speakers, Vector heard "nyan" a couple times.

"THE RAINBOW CAT! WE'VE GOTTA FOLLOW IT AND HARVEST ITS POPTART!" The caller shouted before swiftly hanging up.

Vector, honestly believing that he needed to harvest some of a rainbow cat's poptart, shrugged and continued to climb the mountain of boxes.

Meanwhile, down below, Espio and Charmy were opening other boxes, because who the hell dies of cocaine overdose anyway? They pried open one box, and were suddenly bathed in a holy, orange glow. It blinded them for a moment, until their baked eyes managed to adjust. Slowly, something began rising from the box. Espio and Charmy slowly gasped in blissful awe as they beholded the being inside...

A fetus.

Made entirely from cheetos.

"Wussup?" The Cheetos Fetus said. "Name's Cheetus."

Charmy violently threw up.

"Duuuude..." Espio began, dumbfounded.

"What?" The almighty Cheetus boomed. "Never seen a fetus before?"

Espio shook his head. "Nah, not that... But CHEETUS..."

Cheetus looked around him and saw that the warehouse was covered with cocaine.

"Oh, I see. Like eating snow, dontcha?" Cheetus asked.

Charmy had recovered from his painting the winter wonderland all sorts of colors. "A little bit, TEHEHEHEAHEA"

Cheetus gave a nervous laugh. "Ahaha, yeah. Hold up, let me make a call."

...

*RING RING RING*

"Aw, who the heck is it THIS time?" Sonic said, reaching into his furpockets and pulling out a cell phone. He flipped it open and answered it, with Blaze, Eggman and Metal Sonic right around him. "Yellow?"

"Yo, Sanic, it's me." Cheetus said.

Sonic was less than pleased. "What? You?! Who gave you this number?!"

"Naw man, it's the edible kid."

"Wha- OOOH, MAN! Nice to hear from you again."

"Look, I'm in some warehouse with some crazy lizard and an even mo' crazy bee. Mind helpin' me out, brohemoth?"

"Alright, Brosideon."

"Coo'. Look, I gotta go."

"Alright, see ya." Sonic shut the phone. "Alright, follow me guys!"

Back with Vector; He had gotten the item, and it was...

Not Rouge's tits.

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT," Vector cried to the heavens. "IT'S JUST THIS STUPID FUCKING PEECE OV SHET PLART DEVOICE AAAGHHGHFADDSAHDKFWHARGABBLE"

MEANWHILE...

"So, yer sayin' that I go out and find this blue thingamajig named Sonic, and kill him, yu'll lemme keep this thing?" The old man with oversized aviator sunglasses asked the scientist.

"Yes, you can keep it." The scientist lied.

"What's this thing do, anyhow?"

"It bends reality to your whim."

"Bends reality to mah whim..."

"So, if you want to, say, give yourself ice skates, a hockey stick, and an unlimited supply of exploding hockey pucks while creating ice in front of you, you can."

"..."

"... Sir?"

The old man charged for the window. He slammed through it, doing a frontflip out, and grabbed onto a hangglider. He then flew away from Pumpkin Hill, cheering. "WATCH OUT, RODENT, OLD MAN HENDERSON'S COMIN' FER YA!"

MEANWHILE...

A man wearing a black wool coat and a top hat, with moderately long hair and a thin beard walked into a room marked 'Author's Quarters'. "Cola! Xenos! I brought you guys some..." he stopped mid-sentence to survey the damage done to the room before completing his thoughts. "...bagels."

He looked towards the large set of screens in front of him. This was where the authors observed the story as it was being written. The man noticed a large crack in one of the screens. Out of this screen poured a white powdery substance. It left a large pile on top of two chairs. Footprints could be seen all over the room.

"Oh son of a bitch, what happened THIS time?", he grumbled. He traced the footprints to a red door. "What? When did this get here? They probably conjured it up or something. Kids these days and their black magic and their summoning rituals and virgin blood and all that."

The man entered the door to find himself floating in space. Before him was a twisting, turning rainbow path.

"Ah dag nabbit. This is a twentyfive by twenty foot building, how the flying fuck did they fit Rainbow Road in here? Oh, hell with it. TALLY HO!"

Mr. Awesomest jumped down onto the track, into a conveniently placed Lamborgini, and jettisonned off the starting line. He saw off in the distance, Cola and Xenos dancing around on top of a kart. They were covered in a white powder. Xenos' nose had grown large and round, and he also grew a rather manly mustache. Cola was a Yoshi.

"Another dinosaur? Next thing you know, the dude's a Nazi T-rex or something." He rambled to himself as he began speeding up. He reached the kart the two other authors were on, and drove to the side. He rolled down the window, and stretched his head out.

"Look, I friggin' love Double Dash, but REALLY GUYS?" Mr. Awesomest shouted to the two cocaine-filled writers.

Before he could get a response, he saw something down the road from the corner of his eye. It wasn't an item box, the next batch lay just before the rainbow tunnel. He turned his head and looked.

An plut devoice.

"AH TITS ON A PLANE." Mr. Awesomest said, reaching into the Diablo and pulling out a 9 iron, mumbling "I got it, I got it."

BUTT A WURP HOLE OPNED, and out flu a hoeboe onna cooch praying a base gitah. He soored in betwiin dem and soared intu anoter proatal. ass tey drove oot of the plot deice's reach, Mr. Awesomest stuck his head out the window and looked back.

"WAS THAT JUST BOXCAR JOE!?" He asked, knowing the others had no clue who he was.

"Uh, GUYS, LOOK OUT!" Xenos shouted, pointing toward the road ahead.

There was no railing there. Nor a road.

"SONNOFABITCH!" Mr. Awesomest exclaimed, turning away from the normal route and performing a power slide off the road. He soared across the vast reaches of space, and miraculously landed further down the track. He took a moment to get out of the car, watch as the turtle on a cloud carried Xenos and Cola back onto the track via fishing rod, and let out one quick breathless "Fuck yeah."

It occured to him what the plot device was all about. They had power over plot devices; it was their plot, after all. It was probably created by one of his high comrades. But what of Boxcar Joe? He was thinking about throwing him in the story somehow, like he did with Old Man Henderson, but he didn't want it to be that spontaneous. But, now that he was directed by the plot devices, what should he do about it?

Oh.

I know.

BACK WITH SONIC, BLAZE, ETC., ETC...

As Sonic swung open the warehouse door, an extremely loud sound blasted behind the group. Within a second, a hobo laying down on a couch in remarkably good shape playing the bassline of "Tornado of Souls" on his well-worn bass guitar, flying at least a hundred miles an hour was sent into the warehouse, destroying hundreds of boxes inside. Despite his rather dynamic entry, the hobo seemed undetered by the sudden change of scenery.

Everyone else was.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Sonic shouted.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Blaze screamed.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Eggman joined in.

"HIJO DE PUTA!" Metal Sonic exclaimed.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Amy cried out from her hiding spot.

"SUN OVVAH BEHTCH!" A harmony of high voices sang in unison.

"Son of a bitch, it sounds like a plot device is in there." Sonic pointed out.

"Son of a bitch, that gave me a heart attack!" Blaze stated.

"Son of a bitch, this is a nice combo." Eggman congratulated.

Sonic laughed. "Okay, that's-"

"SON OF A BITCH," Quoth the Raven, "CRAAAAW"

"OKAY ENOUGH OF THAT!" Sonic boomed, using his hands to further get the order to cut it out across. "Let's go check this place out. Warn everyone if you start freaking out, alright?"

"Alright." The rest agreed.

Sonic nodded. "Good. Let's go!"

With that, Sonic led his party into the warehouse, unknowing of all the turmoil that will happen within...

END OF CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 5:

As Sonic, Blaze, Metal, and Dr. Eggman entered the warehouse, they heard voices coming from a nearby room, and saw a trail of a white, powdery substance leading through the warehouse.

Sonic turned on his sarcasm. "Oh boy, that definitely is not an illegal drug that when we regain conciousness we'll be in some medieval town with pineapples and yoyos all around. Metal Sonic, go ahead."

Metal Sonic pondered, "Why me? Why can't you do it?"

"Seriously? Because you're a robot, drugs don't affect you, DURR. Eggman, you must've forgotten to program common sense into the poor bastard, I mean, REALLY."

With a robotic sigh, Metal Sonic unwillingly ventured down the path of cocaine.

"So, why did we come here?" Blaze asked. "Who was that on the phone?"

"Oh, an acquaintence of mine told me that stuff was going down over here, and he could use some help." Sonic answered. Behind him, Charmy flew around in the background with a giant crack rock, drawing on the walls like chalk.

"Was it one of the Chaotix?" Blaze questioned, eyes tailing the psychotic bee drawing a smiling cat.

Sonic shook his head. "Nah. I think they were bothering him, actually. Hopefully, Metal Sonic would just find out what's going on and come back to us for orders, but by the sole fact that I brought it up, it cannot happen."

Just for that statement, we will make exactly that happen. Watch your mouth, Sonic.

"So, we might as well start working on a plan B right about now." Sonic began. "Any suggestions?"

"How about we get rid of Charmy first?", Eggman suggested. The young bee was tugging on the Doctor's mustache, and coating it white.

Sonic stuttered, "U-uh... Doc? Y-you've got a l-little something on your... 'stache."

The Doctor was silent. His mustache pulsated and glowed a bit, and the crack covering his 'stache had vanished.

Blaze and Sonic stared in awe. "Wha...", they both said simultaneously.

"What? My mustache is the 2nd manliest in history! You should know this by now! I mean, you come after me every two weeks, I expected you to know more about me."

"2nd? Who's the first?", Blaze asked.

"Freddie Mercury."

"Oh, really? Then where does Burt Reynolds fit in?"

"Anyway, plans, guys?" Sonic asked. "Before something terrible happens, we all get high, and wake up in a jail cell?"

"Too late.", Blaze pointed out. Metal Sonic was hurtling towards the group at an immense velocity.

Sonic began to shout, "GOD DAMN I-", but was struck by Metal. Everyone was blasted through several boxes of cocaine.

Sonic looked up from the disaster that had just happened, taking in plenty of airborne cocaine as he breathed in. He saw Cheetuz n Veacter fiting ovr the plop device. Wit his last sobber breathes, Sanic look up and shooted "FUCK ME SIDEWAYS" an furgot teh nex huor oar so.

MEANWHILE...

Ray was hunting down the Nyan Cat through the streets. Ray knew that goddamn cat had something, and it was nothing good. As he was giving chase, he got a call on his cell phone. He was able to answer it and follow the retarded internet meme at the same time.

"Hello?" Ray said.

"It's me, Nack. I got Big, an' I got some terrible news fer ya, mate." The caller replied.

"Oh great. What?"

"He's back."

"Who?"

"Him."

"Details, please? I don't know who you're talking about."

There was an audiable smack to the forehead on the other line as Nack realized Ray had not been involved in the original incident. "Ganja. Ganja da Hedgehog."

Ray's eyes widened. "Oh, man. Those stories were true? I thought that was all just some collective hallucination you guys-"

"He's real, mate, and so are his duplicates."

"Oh. So, we're going after Prime after this?"

"We haffta find out 'bout the others first. There's that normal Ganja dick, then there's the Ganja Gangsta asshole, then Ganja Juggy cunt, and THEN we deal with that Ganja Prime thundercunt."

Ray was slightly unnerved by this. From what he heard, there were millions of Ganjas. The possibility of that happening again chilled him. "So, I should help?"

"Yeah, but first, kill that fuckin' cat, and loot 'em, see what's causing dis whole reality-distortion bullshit."

Before Ray could reply "Got it", the flying poptart cat took a hard turn. Through a wall. Into a warehouse.

"Oh, shit, I got to go, see ya later!"

Hanging up, Ray followed the cat into the warehouse, and found that it was a complete mess. There wus COCANANE, COCANANE EVRYWERE, Chaotix were sprawled all acoss the groond, tere was a fetus made a cheetos paunching Nyan Cat, the spealing nd grammerar was rather atrocius, so Ray putted on hankurcheef to not gets drug, he tought he herd a explosion in back fo werehoose, and Metal Sanic flu to RAy.

"RAY RAY" Metal pleeded. "DIS PLAYS IS FULL OF COCANINE, ND SONCI ND BLOOZE ND ROBOTONIK ACCIDENTALLY TWENTY GRAM ROCKS AND TURNED THE COCANE TO GIN POWDER AND BLOO A HOLE IN DA WALL ND RAN OFF CAN UYU HEL-"

"fuck off" Ray stetad, sending hand at Metals faec and sent him flying troo boxes, killing the pants inside them.

Spio ran turd the fliying thingamawhut wit/ a kunai, but b4 Ray culd show im wose DA BAWS he pissed out nd fellon ground.

"This BAD," small powerful straem ov lite pointed oot as he waltzed into wearhuse.

in da sky of warehoes Ceetus and /nayn vat were drowing punches nd kickz nd super marital rts mooves but NYAN CAT WUZ WINNINING cuz he had plut devoice.'

Ray kno who Cheetos was, and would hurt to se egoo, so he flewe uppe4 nd JO1ND D4 BRA\/\/L!1!11!

Down belou, Vekotr was aggrigivated.

"STOOPID HEDGEHOG SOLE MY PLOT DEVICE," tHE cocodile said to his B freind. "ND FLEW AWAY WITH IT, STUPID HOG"

En the rayge veekTOR hhe runnned up too NYEAAAN KAT nad teh n he he he HE BITED HIsS POPTART

"N00000000000" screameaed nayen cit as he grimanceda ass hes felling began filling oot "MAI TAAAAAAAAAAAART"

nd da deamon wuz slayin, his soul 5ver (witch is lunger dan 4ever) loust. Da interwebz became better place.

Rei, Vecter, nd Cheetus flow back 2 ground, nd begean contragulamatating eac oter on deir pereformence.

"Coolio bite, bro" said the squirrel.

"U eld off dat cat 4 a wile, cheetos feetos" vektor complimentated

"Yo, guis, luukie heer," Kheetus said. "A tarp device."

Sanik ranned up too thm an grab ploot deviuce and then hr trip and fall and scrape face

"FUGGAN BADGER CANT, SANIC!" Blaozey insulated as seh ran ovr 2 heem and pikked him up by spyn qwill. "COEM ON, WE GOTTA GO BURD DWN KVATCH"

"No, Stop. I'm locking you guys up until the crack wears off.", Metal said authoritively, holding a plot device.

"hOW cum yurr noht afect by ploot devace", Cheatus had askeded

"I reversed the polarity in my arm, making the Plot Device I am holding effectively an Anti-Plot Device."

"HOLLY DOELEY" Sanic shouted. "WERE DID U GET IT"

Metal replied,"Vector threw it into that crate over there."

"aHA, yeh welt gud lok findang eggumang. He's alredy halfweigh two ravenholdom nao" Bureizu said.

"SHADDAP KATIA" Cinos demandated.

"Whaaaat its nawt liek-"

"SHUT UP TEX." Sonic cuntinued to silentencesd her.

"BUT WHYYY-"

"FURGUINA SHAT YOU'RE WHORE MOUTH"

And then they kissed. They made out with such intensity that us writers were forced to write this part with proper grammar. Tounges met and minds were blown, and somewhere in the distance, Amy felt a surge of pure jealousy.

ALL ACROSS STATION SQUARE

WOMEN SQUEALING

"SONIIIIIIC"

MEN TURNING GAY

"SOOOOONIIIIIIIIIIC"

IT WAS FANTASTIC

Poor Metal Sonic couldn't take it. "IT BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRNSSSSSSS-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee....."

hE RANintro tha wall and stuffsads and then the hole was shaped liek metalsanic

Teh entoire wareshorse wus fulled of HERESY. Twas alost cuse. BUAT, Eggagumangee WAS NEVER HIGH AT ALL. HE WUZ AWNLY PRTENDANG.

MEANWHILE...

Eggman sat in an underground lab located just outside the city. While his comrades were currently losing their minds to illegal drugs, he could study the small plot device they had within the picnic basket in peace. Perhaps the powers of the device would aid him in his endevors. How did he get here so fast? Easy, he carries a portable teleporter. Don't ask where he keeps it. Also, Eggman really was never high. His mustache disintegrates illegal drugs, remember? Geez.

ANYWAY...

Eggman sat at his desk, tinkering with the Plot Device. Due to the Plaut Device's little, yet everpresents power, he managed to remove PLOT ARMOR.

The power of cliches, drama, and all of that stuff was in front of the Doctor. But just on a smaller scale than needed for it to be dangerous.

"Whatever these are made out of, is an incredible power source. I wouldn't say as powerful as the emeralds themselves, but it's properties are dangerous enough without needing that kind of power...who created these, I wonder?" Eggman thought out loud, analyzing it extensively.

"If we find the vector of these...plot devices, we could destroy all of them at once!" The doctor exclaimed. "But... do I want to?"

Yes. You do. Because we said so. No underplot here, no betrayal or anything. Nope. Nothing.

"Ah, yes." Eggman decided. "Yes I do. Perhaps I'll keep records, or something, for the next time this inevitibly happens in the probable sequel. That will SUCK. I'll just, tuck these files alongside my weightloss planners..."

Yes, it will, but everyone will love it. There will be merchandising galore. And Eggman will never use this information for anything ever again. Ever.

"I'll just, tuck those files alongside my weight loss planners..." Eggman continued thinking out loud. "... and... why am I thinking out loud about what to do afterward? I haven't finished with this yet."

Because we said so. Duh. Go back to thinking out loud, Eggman.

"But why does my mind keep coming back to the-" Eggman's face suddenly became severely bored. "Sometimes, I dream about cheese..."

Then, Eggman randomly bursts out,"I dream cheese will be treated equaly, So Obama, pass the damn law! Freedom of Cheeses! Except for Swiss Chesse, Thats Switzerland's job".

Oh boy, who wrote this? It wasn't me. AWESOMEST, DID YOU LET SOMEONE INTO THE AUTHOR'S QUARTERS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL

MEANWHILE BACK WITH SONIC AND BLAZE AND METAL WHO ARE LOSING THEIR MINDS TO ILLEGAL DRUGS...

Sanc and Blooze finsh kiss kiss and then thy go like "woaaaaaaah"

"Whudda hell're ya kids doon over heer?!" A misteriousos voicesd asked from somewere.

Confussed, tey all turnned 2 see da boho iwth the base gitah standang on toop of boxes, sippan frum a soop can.

"Old Man Henderson!", Metal Sonic shouted.

Hobo shook head. "NAHW, ppl call meh BOXCAR JOE! Mite a met a Henderson in mah travels, dough..."

"I DUN LIKE THE LOOKA YU" GANJA DA HEDGEHOG pooped from nuwere and shouted, trowing broken box bittles at Boxcar Joo.

Boxcar Joe wuz offendentated md threatened by da hedgehog. to deefend hemself, he tuk out sum beer n tdrew it.

...

Sonic regained conciousness.

"Ooooh, God, what the fuck happened?" He groaned.

He began trying to recall the things that happened during his high. They immediately saw the warehouse as a giant city called Kvatch, and immediately the trio wanted out. Blaze suggested burning it down, but they instead blew a giant hole in the wall in order to escape from the city. Just before he left, Blaze pulled him back to look at this crazy way-past-cool book she found, Alice in Wonderland. Written by American McGee. After five pages they promptly went temporarily insane and then they wobbled their way over to the Chaotix, Cheetus, and whomever else was there, turned half the population of men gay and half of the population of women lesbian with one act he'd rather not recalling, and then a magic hobo named Boxcar Joe showed up, and then Ganja showed up, pissed off Boxcar Joe, who simply THREW A BEER BOTTLE, and here he was. He figured the bottle made them all intoxicated beyond belief. Would explain the headache he had.

"Ugh, son of a bitch... That's more stuff than what happened in Generations... Where am I?"

You are in a dark dungeon. You spy ye flask over yonder table.

Sonic said, "Alright then. I will get Ye Flask.", somehow being able to understand the text.

You can't get Ye Flask.

"Why not?", Sonic asked, irritated.

I'm not telling ye how to obtain ye flask.

"Fine, fine." Sonic groaned. "Asshole Dungeon Master ruining the immersion. Where are the others? Or just Blaze, since that's all I really remember with me, other than that bass playing hobo."

Ye shall find out soon enough.

"Whatever man, whatever." Sonic groaned, aggrivated. He figured that the effects of the thrown bottle sent him and his friends inside the Tales of King Arthur book he brought, and the effects of the liquor itself managed to destroy his memory of everything that happened since.

But little did the blue one know, he was-

"Wait, what? So you mean I'm NOT back in Camelot again?"

Nay.

"Oh, well then, mind telling me what game I'm playing, you shitty DM?"

You are playing a game known as...

MEANWHILE...

Over the collar of a robe and under the brim of a wizard hat, Cola was recieving a cold, impatient stare. His attempt at suspense was not working.

"WHAT GAME?" Mr. Awesomest boomed.

Cola was so deadset on suspense, he refused to reply. In truth, he couldn't come up with a good game name, so he was stalling, unbeknownest to Awesomest. OH FUCK HE CAN READ THIS RUN GOD DAMNIT RUN

"YOU KNOW WHAT, SCREW IT." He shouted, flipping the table as he rose. "Let's just work on someone else at the time while you figure out where Sonic is, alright? How about Big, Fang, and Mighty? They haven't showed up in a while. Or something different. Got any ideas, Xenos?"

"Well, for one, I kinda like Mario, So like...we could make a plot thingy just, like, rip a few laws of dimensions into pieces so we can make an epic crossover never seen before. Is it okay?"

"... An epic crossover never seen before? Okay whatever dude, just let it rip."

"Hey, our story is..different! But, anyways..." Xenos, with the power of whateverthehellpoweritis, had made a super plot device, that ripped a dimensional hole nearby Sonic's entire group.

...

Sonic startled as he heard something rumble.

"The hell was that?" He muttered to himself.

Thou mayst now drink ye flask.

"Oh finally, can't wait for the inevitable POISON or GENDER BENDING POTION or something stupid like that!" Sonic cheered as he grabbed the flask and drank it all. Slamming the flask on the table, Sonic added "OR PURE LSD!"

Suddenly, a door was revealed. Also, a rock from the wall was being pushed out.

And out of the hole came a Mushroom headed midget.

"QUICK, GET IN!" Toad squealed.

Sonic was about to object to if he should be trusting a mushroom headed tiny guy, but he decided to go with it, and spindashed in. The toad then pushed the rock back into place, and then stationed himself in the middle of the room.

Mario walked in.

"THANKS MARIO, BUT YOUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!" Toad said.

Sonic sighed. "Bowser up to it again? need my help? Another invite to the Olympics?"

"Erm...no?" Mario answered. "I just-a suddenly... Well, we just-a suddenly...poofed? Here."

"Here? Where is..." Sonic cut himself off as he realized they were in a fantasy-esque world not unlike World of Warcraft and Runescape. "GOD DAMNIT I THOUGHT WE LEFT HERE"

Toad had inexplicably grown a manly beard. It was orange. He began to speak, "Oh boy, this is not good. Seems that this is a result of the dungeon master telling me to drink Ye Flask... Please say you guys didn't either." His voice was extremely deep. So deep, it was scary. Seriously, you hear some guy with a high voice suddenly have his voice drop a few octaves and tell me it's not at least freaky.

Mario replied, "I never drink-a Ye Flask! Stuff like-a this happens. I used to a-play a lot of text-a games. Like-a this one where you..."

As Mario's voice trailed off, Sonic began to notice changes in his body. He grew fangs and claws, and his hands were covered in... scales?

"Sonic! Don't-a tell me you drank-a Ye Flask as well! Oh-a no!"

Sonic took a final gasp for air and blacked out.

...

A rock fell out of the wall of the keep. Blaze crawled out of the hole, careful not to disturb any others, lest she causes the wall to collapse. When she broke free enough, she hopped down to the ground, landing on her feet. Following the instructions of a mushroom headed midget, she crawled between the cracks of the rooms to the wall, found the outer wall of the buliding, and escaped. He said that he'll tell any blue rodent to do the same, and that the two of them should avoid making contact with any flasks with unknown contents and a man named "Mario". Whatever.

Blaze, unarmed, proceeded to kick the two guards and take two swords and shields, one pair for her, one pair for Sonic.

"Ugh, how did we even get here? Where ARE we anyway?" Blaze groaned.

After a few minutes of waiting, another rock fell out of the wall. Glad to see Sonic was making his way out, she stood up, waiting for him to-

"ZAP MOTHAFUGGA!"

The wall exploded, and out soared a half-dragon half-the-rest-was-covered-in-dragon-based-armor thing with a spear that shot lightning at subsonic speeds.

"I AM ORNHOLIO, I NEED LIGHTNING FOR MY THUNDERPOLE!" The thing had shouted as it soared out of earshot.

Blaze was about to investigate, when a red shirted overalled man jumped out of the hole, followed by the less graceful mushroom headed midget from before, falling face first.

"Hey!" She called to the sentient fungus. "Who was that?"

"WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HEA" Boomed the normally high-pitched Toad. "YOUR FRIEND DRANK YE FLASK!"

Blaze, ignoring the sudden divebomb Toad's voice did compared to before, began to ask questions. "Sonic drank it?"

"YUS!"

"What was in it?!"

"THE SOUL OF A DEMON, and liquified plot device."

"A plot device can be liquified?"

"IT'S A PLOT DEVICE, WOMAN. NAME ONE THING IT CAN'T DO."

"What does this flask do?"

"It turns you into a CHARACTER, fitting for this time and setting. You didn't drink yours, so you don't have any drastic modifications."

"Why did he turn into... Ornholio?"

"I said A character fitting for this time and setting, not a character fitting for this time and setting THAT RESEMBLES YOU."

"Why do you sound like a Viking?"

"Side effects from the antidote."

"There's an antidote?"

"Yes. Will you stop asking questions?"

"Will we get going?"

"Fine BITCH."

LATER...

"Hey Ornstien!" Asked the round man from the confines of an even more round suit of armor.

"What, Smough?" The half-dragon replied.

"What do you call a line of 20 people with 4 teeth in between them all?"

"I dunno, the line for a rematch against us?"

The two roared with laughter, Ornstien stopping, and glaring off to the side. While Smough was still laughing, the half-dragon-former-hedgehog shot a bolt of lightning at an unready demon slayer.

"ZAP MUTHAFUGGA!" Ornstien shouted before once more breaking into laughter with his big fat friend Smough.

"HE SHOULDA SEEN IT COMING! DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE!"

"CAN'T DODGE LIGHTNING, BRUDDHA!"

The two continued their powerful laughter, shaking the dungeon they currently resided in. Life was good, all these guys did was sit around, chill, and pound the shit outta anyone that entered their lair. Little did they know, their fun was about to end.

END OF CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

The trio walked into the blacksmith's shop.

"Hello!" The smith said. "What can I do for ya?"

"Good headgear." Said Toad.

"Something that-a adds more-a UMPH to my-a fire-powah!" Mario said.

"Armor." Blaze said flatly. "Good armor, that works. I hardly care how it looks. Just, get me good armor."

The blacksmith scratched his chin for a moment. "Hmm, I might have the thing for each one of you. Let me go to the back..."

The blacksmith stood and left the room, leaving the trio to discuss their choices.

"... 'More umph to your fire power'?" Blaze asked.

"Whaaat?" Mario retorted. "I don't-a need armor or the massive headgear THEES little guy's-a getting."

"And what do you want armor for, anyway? You're the fastest here, you should-"

"Do you know how often people try killing royalty?" She quizzed them sternly.

The two colorful men looked at each other, and then back at the princess, Mario with the reply. "Not keeling... where I come-a from, keednapping is ALL THE RAGE! GAHD!"

The blacksmith came out with two boxes. He placed them at the feet of the recievers, Toad and Mario.

"I will get your armor next, ma'am." The blacksmith bowed as he exited.

Toad unboxed his crate first. He reached in, and pulled out a leather cap with horns. He fashioned it over his head, his cold, black eyes seeing out of the eyeholes.

Next was Mario. He lifted the top, and pulled out fake Elf ears. Putting them on, he felt his magic aptitude increase. Blaze was slightly unsettled by the silly appearance of the equipment.

Lastly, the blacksmith came back, pushing out a box. "It has a mannequin inside, to demonstrAAAATE." He grunted as he pushed the box in front of the patient and slightly anxious cat. "Alright, let's open her up!"

The smith took a crowbar, and opened the crate, to reveal...

...

Cola chuckled. "Roll that die, we'll decide what she gets from that." He said this while pointing at a 20-sided die. "Higher the number, better it gets. Lower, the worse."

Shrugging, Mr. Awesomest picked it up. "Oh hell why not?" He rolled the die.

1.

"..."

"..."

Cola began writing down something, stifling giggles.

"Let me guess..."

...

... a chainmail bikini.

Everyone was awkwardly silent.

"... is this a joke?" Blaze interrogated, her face unmoving.

The blacksmith was suddenly nervous.

"Um... no." The smith said. "It's common sense in our world. It's like how the number of horns is relevant to the armor's defense; the more revealing armor is on women, the better."

Blaze glared at the half-naked mannequin inside, shaking her head

Later...

Ornstien was in the middle of discussing how he got back from last departure. "... So this dude starts talking trash to me, sayin', "YOU THINK YOU'RE-A SCARY? I GOT A DICK LIKE A PRINGLES CAN" and I say "Yeah, I know that, IT'S ALWAYS GOT A GUY WITH A MOUSTACHE ON IT!""

The two howl with laughter, however Ornstien stops laughing to look over toward the entrance, which he felt someone pass through, as Smough keeps booming.

Unlike the standard protocol for such an event, the half-dragon taps his friend on the shoulder.

"Dude, hold up. We got 3 dudes coming in."

"Ooh, 3 guys. What's this, some poor fuck brought two Sunlight guys? PRAISE THE SUUUU-"

"NO, no, shuttup. C'mon."

The armored duo of assholes got up from their seats around a pillar stump and looked over toward the entrance. There, they saw A short viking, an elf plumber, and a cat girl in a chainmail bikini, that was twitching uncontrollably.

Ornstien immediately set his eyes on Blaze, beginning to hit on her. "Hey babe, what's a puddy tat like YOU doing 'round here?"

"Shut up, Sonic.", Blaze replied. "We don't have time for your games."

"SONIC? BABE, YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE GREAT ORNSTIEN, THE DRAGON WARRIOR! Seriously, who the fuck is this Sonic guy, he's probably a dick. Babe, you're better off with me, especially with that hot bod-".

"Shut-a your mouth!" Mario shouted.

"Oh, hey, it's Mr. Pringles-Dick! Oh, and little Amanita-head got a Dovahkiin cap. Mind giving us a shout?"

Toad's eyebrows furrowed, but were almost immediately replaced by a completely relaxed expression.

"Sorry, Ornstein-" said Toad in his new manly-man voice. "But I think you left your dick in another castle."

Ornstein was, at first, furious, but then remembered that another dragon, did actually, rip off his genitalia a few weeks ago. However, as he gazed back at Blaze, he felt a jingling in his pants, which made him realize, that this WAS, in fact, a new body, as THAT Lightning Rod hadn't been there before.

"Oh yeah, well, you can count your lucky stars; you haven't met a girl who's so clingy she tears off your dick." Ornstein replied, raising his lightning-charged spear.

Blaze, having decided that something's taken over him, decides to try to maybe provoke something in there. "I've seen a girl like that. She's named-"

"Woah woah woah." Ornstein suddenly asked, putting his spear down in interest. "A GIRL did-"

"No, shut your man-whore mouth."

Blaze angrily threw a ball of fire at Ornstein. She threw it remarkably fast, but the fully-armored half-dragon could roll away to avoid it. Getting back on his feet, he snarled. A perfectly good pussy (CAT), turned against him. "Gagh, so that's how it is?" Without a moment of hesitation, Ornstein returned fire with a blast of lightning.

The lightning, with metal a good conductor, homed in on the only person with a slightly significant amount of metal on their person, Blaze. She was struck. She jolted, and fell on her knees. She uttered "Son of a bitch" as she fell face flat on the floor. She was down, but not out.

"MAMA MIA!" Mario yelled in shock.

"Shocking, isn't it?" The sinister dragon chuckled, pointing the lightning spear toward the Italian. "Look Mar-fucking-io, I know you're so Pringles, but I got to ask-"

Mario narrowly jumped over the first lightning strike, and began running toward Smough and Ornstein.

"WHERE YO CURLEH MUSTACHE AT!? FUCK THE KNICKS, FUCK THE KNICKS..."

Mario jumped square on Smough's forehead, using it as a footstool to reach Ornstien, who was flying near the ceiling. He was readying a magically-aided punch to harm Ornstein past the physical protection of his armor. However, his valiant attempt proved futile when he was stabbed with the spear, and was shot toward the ground.

"Frank ZAPPA, motha fucka!"

The two bosses looked over to Toad. Smough was cracking his neck from being used as a footstool as he gazed at the small mushroom man, wearing a horned leather cap, standing alone. Under the obese mask, Smough chuckled. His nassive hammer was as big as Smough was; the weapon had to be five times larger than the man. He'll be like a pancake within moments of them getting near each other. Smough found this fact amusing. "You want a piece of me, short-stuff? There's plenty to go around!"

Then, Toad dashed at the fat man, who was spouting remarks as he went. "I'M FATTER THAN THE DUDE THEY DROPPED ON NAGASAKI! COME AT ME BRO!" Once Toad was thirty feet away, Smough readied his hammer for the innevitable flattening he was going to give this puny mushroom man.

But just before the hammer was sent plunging toward the ground, destroying the floor and sending Toad's insides through its cracks-

"FUS RO DAH!"

A blast of energy sent Smough stumbling back. His armor was designed to stop everything, even magic, but no suit of armor was able to fully ward magic. Smough had regained his senses, and was about to show that mushroom what for, when something hit him in his side. He looked over and saw that Mario was getting up. Who was then promptly zapped by Ornstein.

"OH!"

Ornstein zapped Mario again.

"OH!"

And again. In fact, for every time he said "OH!", he zapped Mario.

"OH!"

"OH!"

"OH!"

"OH!"

"OH!"

Before Ornstein could get to eight zaps, he noticed out of the corner of his eye, something approach him. Which was quite odd considering he was flying. He glanced over just in time to see Blaze jumping off the wall of the dungeon and swinging a burning kick that en route to his face.

"Ah tit-"

Ornstein was launched to the ground. He hit the floor, managing to look up in time to see his surprise attacker a good distance away. A good distance from these folks wasn't enough. These guys had to be on the ground. So as soon as he got up, he turned to Blaze and began sending lightning bolt after lightning bolt at her, who seems to have gotten better at dodging since his first hit.

Smough had returned his attention to Toad, after the brief attack from Mario. The Toad seemed ready to fight. A fair one, too; no magic shouts that only casuals used. Ornstein's spear lightning is mostly for weeding out super losers from the losers. I mean, it's only 1.21 gigawatts. Smough's had worse. I mean, have you tried to arm wrestle Ornstein? Whatever. Acknowledging him, Smough readied his massive hammer.

The large executioner charged at the itsy bitsy mushroom man, slamming his hammer into the ground. As he was recovering from the stutteringly hard blow, he noticed Toad was running between his legs. In reaction, Smough hoisted the hammer over his head and tried to catch Toad on the second hit. But no, Toad stood between the behemoth's legs.

"Aim that hammer any lower and you'll lose 80% of your reproductive organs." Toad taunted.

"THEY'RE PROTECTED BY FAT!" Smough boomed as he jumped. Seeing the opportunity, Toad ran out of there and withdrew his secret weapon, a mega mushroom! No, his other secret weapon. THE MAGIC DAGGER!

Smough turned around, and prepared for an attack from Toad, ready to swipe him away.

But then Toad ran behind a pre-occupied Ornstein.

"ORNSTEIN, LOOK OUT!" Smough shouted to his comrade.

Ornstein barely heard him. "SCOOPS! SCOOPS, HAAGENDA-wait" Ornstein had turned around to see the the small Toad, weilding a magic dagger. The same dagger that had seperated him from his last body. A Vorpal Blade.

"OH KENTUCKY FRIED FUCK!" Ornstein cried as he sent his spear toward Toad.

But Toad was quick.

Toad smacked the oncoming blade away with an emty hand, and with his other, thrusted the dagger into Ornstein's gut. Then, the short Toad stepped forward, and threw Ornstein onto his back, with the dagger still in his stomach. After sending the Half-Dragon Dragonslayer onto the ground, Toad slowly removed the Vorpal Blade from his gut. With Ornstein's last breaths, he looked over to a shocked Smough, and muttered...

"... Sm... Smores..."

"ORRRRREEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Smough "Smores" cried out. With fury, Smough swung his hammer at Toad and Ornstein "Oreo" the Dragonslayer.

Toad had dodged the massive blow with ease, but the intention was not to kill Toad; No. Ornstein's thunder powers could be shared. As Smough's massive maul slammed into the corpse of Ornstein, it began absorbing its electricity. And it dispersed as a shockwave around the area.

Mario, who was only recently recovering from being shocked like a patient with a defibulator-crazy doctor, got up to see Smough's armor and weapon coursing with electricity. He sighed. "Ugh, mama mia..."

He looked over and noticed Ornstien's body was glowing. He paid no attention to it because he figured it would disintegrate. Mario started running toward Smough, ready to do a leap of faith. As Smough swiped across the ground, causing an unprepared Toad to back up, Mario leaped on top of the large enemy, and began stomping on his head. How did he not get hurt? It's magic, I ain't gotta explain this shit.

While Mario's super stomp was strong enough to do damage, Smough's helm held it's own very well against Mario's boots. Mario kept combo jumping on the helmet, kinda like in the Mario and Luigi games. In between acrobatic flips, Mario continuously pounded on Smough's helm, slowly but surely cracking it.

"Off my head, you!" Smough shouted, swinging his hammer over his head, sending Mario flying into the air. He quickly noticed Toad approaching from the ground, and Mario hitting the ceiling, so Smough decided to continue his combo. He jumped, and swung his hammer over his head, sending Mario straight to the floor. Smough landed with his back to his enemies, and shifted around to face them.

"Mario, you alright?" Toad asked calmly as he could, keeping an eye on "Smores".

"Well, I-a just got-a pounded several times-es by a 4 ton hammah that made me collide to-a the ground at-a whirlwind speeds...but other than-a that, I'm-a perfectly fine." Mario replied dryly.

"Well sorry for asking! But in any case, we shouldn't let him keep this up, we need to start a counter attack." Toad decided, contemplating on what to do from here. Smough had stayed put for quite a bit, he was probably waiting for the two to get on the offense. He probably would get impatient sometime soon, though.

"Mario...have any items with you by any chance?" Toad asked.

Mario blinked and checked his infinite-space pockets. There wasn't much, but quite a bit of things he felt inside.

"Let'sa see...what exactly are you-a planning?"

"Hand me a star if you have one."

Ornstein's body was fully bathed in a green glow when Blaze got to him. Knowing that Sonic was going to be materialized, she quickly brought him behind one of the destroyed pillars, and hid behind it herself. There, Blaze watched as the wispy colors of the soul releasing process take place. She couldn't tell if it was still Ornstein behind the light or if it was now Sonic.

Then, the wispy lights began to fade. There, sat the armor of Ornstein, differently shaped. There was someone in it, for sure, and it looked more like Sonic's fit...

Then it groaned.

"Ugh, shit..." Sonic's voice grumbled from within. "... What the fuck is this?"

"Sonic, stay down!" Blaze whispered.

Sonic disregarded her warning, and stood up. "Don't tell me what to do, mom-" It was then he saw Smough fighting Mario and Toad. "SONNOFA-" Sonic uttered as he quickly ducked behind the pillar again.

"What the flying fuck am I wearing?!" Sonic said, looking down at himself, instantly recognizing the armor as Ornstein's armor. His eyes trailed about the area until they came across something even more perculiar than his wardrobe. "... What the fuck are YOU wearing?"

Blaze hissed in response. "Shut up, we had to kill some Ornstein pervert to get you out."

Sonic was confused. "Wait, you had to- OH YOU KNOW WHAT, shut up, explain it later. I'm diggin' this armor."

With caution, the two peeked out from behind the cover of the destroyed pillar, and watched the fight ensue.

Toad was a rainbow, running like someone on crack as Smough's futile attempts at catching him with a swing of his hammer was frustrating him greatly.

"WOO-TA!" Toad yelped as he dodged another swing of the hammer.

"Stay still you damn fungus!" "Smores" frustration was rising steadily now...

Toad smirked at how easy it was for him to escape the giant behind him. That is...until the power of the star ran out, and he started losing the momentum he had earlier.

"Uh oh..." Toad said as he heard a giant step that made the world around him shake from behind.

"Now I gotcha'!" Smough was ready to bring the Hammah' down, until a red streak started coming at him from the corner of his eye, he turned his head quickly to see what it was.

It was Mario, his fist a blazing fire of glory, and it was aimed right at his helm. Smough realized Toad had backed the 2 of them into a corner, it was a one-shot move to get him in range for a full blast of...

"SUPER MARIO, FALCOOON PAAAAWNCH!!!" Mario exclaimed as his fist collided with "Smores" helm.

Smough's helm crunched and crackled, as it broke into pieces. His face was now exposed, and worse yet, exposed to Mario's fist, the collision let a wave of pain through his body several times, until his entire body flew backwards, crashing into a wall with a deep crater inside. He wasn't quite dead, but he was close.

"Ough..." Smough groaned, plopping out of the crater and slamming into the floor, shooting up dust as he landed. His hammer was a good distance away, so he pretty much lost already.

"Come on, SOMEONE hit him with his hammer..." Sonic silently cheered. No one did.

"OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S ALWAYS GOTTA BE ME, DOESN'T IT?", Sonic shouted as he dashed out from behind the pillar. He grabbed the hammer that weighed several times his weight and began swinging it around at an alarming speed and with surprising expertise. Sonic let go and the hammer sailed straight into Smough. Both the hammer and Smough were incased in a blinding light. The hammer disappeared, while Smough's shape began to change.

"FUCK!" Sonic stated calmly. "I wanted to keep that hammer. Whatever. What's going on with this guy?"

Blaze noticed a similarity. "Wait, when Ornstein changed back into you, he went through the same process... with his shape slowly morphing."

"Hmm..." Mario wondered, scratching his stache. "Maybe it's-a someone you know?"

"Yeah, come to think of it..." Sonic said, moving in closer. He leaned in, peering straight at the near-blinding light, trying to make out the figure.

He jumped when he made out who he was. "OH MY GOD HOW DID WE NOT KNOW?!"

Sonic readied his spear, glaring angrily at the man hidden by light. The light began to fade, and before the quartet was none other than...

"EGGMAN AGAIN!?" Sonic said.

"Erm, wonderful day we're having?" Eggman said defenseless.

"You're here too? Next thing you know, Amy's in here, and-"

"Amy?" Toad asked.

"Just-a someone who has the hots for-a Sonic....I think." Mario answered.

"... Aaaaahh... Well, I saw her, she was looking for Sonic, I told her that he was in another castle-"

"Fuck you." Sonic said.

"Fuck-a you." Mario said.

"Anyway," Blaze interrupted them. "Eggman, when did you get here?"

"Well, when I you were all cocaine crazy, I wasn't high at all. I left for a secret base, and began testing the Plot Device. I came back in a hurry, with test results in hand, leaving no digital documents on my vast network of information on evil power sources, to find that a book within the warehouse was sucking in all of its contents; everyone inside, all the cocaine, and me. When I came to, the documents were in pieces. I took a sip of a flask, and..."

"Here you are," Blaze finished for him.

Eggman nodded. "Yes."

There was a moment of silence, when suddenly Sonic realized something. "WAITAMINUTE. Toad, you saw Amy?"

"Yeah."

"In THIS WORLD?"

"YEAH."

"THAT STALKER!" Sonic screamed.

Mario was kind of concerned. "H-hang on-a second... What if she took a drink from-a flask as well...?"

Sonic thought about it. "... Well, considering I turned into Ornstein, there's no telling who Amy is."

"Well-a....maybe she looks-a like a half dragon dragonslayer thing like-a you both did."

"You remember what Toad said." Blaze began. "You turn into A character once you drink the flask. There's no really telling.

Toad nodded, "True, but you could say it was a good guess..she shared similarities with Sonic before, maybe her transformation could share a similarity with "Oreo"."

"I don't think flasks contain souls of demons from one specific race." Sonic said. "And Smough was human, just under armor resembling Gabe Newell in terms of fatness."

Eggman was confused. "Who?"

"Plus, it has liquified plot device in it." Blaze brought up. "I don't think it follows rule-"

"SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!!"

"....You were-a saying?" Mario said bluntly.

Sonic peered around his friends, and saw Amy.

Dressed in the armor of a Warhammer 40K Angry Marine. Steel a foot thick, with curse words, blood, and angry faces all over. She had to be two or three feet taller with it. She dragged a hammer that was bigger than her Piko Piko hammer as she sprinted over toward the group, her steps leaving imprints in the ground the shape of her foot. Sonic thanked the fact that he would not be identified as Sonic, because he was still wearing Ornstein's armor. At least not right away.

"SOOOONIIIII-Oh." Amy was disappointed when she finally got to the group, and saw that Sonic was not among them. "Hey Toad! Mario! Eggman... Blaze..."

"Hello!" Mario said with Video Game enthusiasm.

"Hey!" Toad cheered. "What's up?"

"Oh, I'm looking for Sonic." Amy stated. "Have you seen him? I want to give him a hug!"

Sonic trembled behind his armor.

"Erm...we haven't seen him around yet..." Eggman answered slowly.

Blaze tried to cover for Sonic. "Actually, Ornstein here told me he ran beyond the chamber. Isn't that right?"

"Ornstein" slowly nodded for a yes.

"Alright! Let's-" Amy lifted a foot back, mocking a cartoon stance. She then bolted off. "GOOOOOO..."

"She'll break my goddamn back if she does with that on." Sonic groaned to Toad, Mario, Eggman and Blaze.

"At this point, with her like this, we'd want you as Ornstein so you don't die. But we also don't because he's a pain in the ass....very torn with this..." Toad thought out loud.

Sonic leveled his spear at Toad. "I'll show you a pain in the ass-"

"Let's go, already!" Blaze said, following Amy. Reluctantly, the rest of the group followed.

MEANWHILE...

The Chaotix, now with the cocaine out of their system and with the plot device in hand, suppressed by blankets they bought from a store, headed back to Rouge.

"Say...Vector?"

"What is it?"

"Did....Rouge ever say what or how much are payment is?" Espio asked.

"....Come to think it...no...not really." The crocodile answered.

"So we could be looking at a grand total of zero dollars knowing her." Espio said with a blank expression.

"Pretty much yeah." Vector said shrugging.

Espio snapped. "Goddamnit Vector, this is exactly why we barely have any money to get by!"

"Well if that's how you feel why don't you leave? It'd save me a whole lot of trouble!" Vector retorted.

"Get a, ROOM YOU TWO!" Charmy exclaimed as loud as his lungs could.

Astonishingly, both of them stayed silent, and decided to let it drop. Vector slowly started picking up the pace as he stepped forward a few times, until they started walking again.

Eventually, they were at Rouge's old headquaters, Club Rouge. Vector opened up the door, heading inside as the two behind him followed. And, it wasn't empty, at all.

"What...the...f-" Vector was cut off at a random drunk kid foaming at the mouth, screaming for one reason or another.

"Didn't Rouge say this was her old headquarters?" Espio blinked, looking around.

Charmy forgot to turn his swag off before entering, and was quickly covered in bitches, while Vector heard a feminine voice in his headphones, as he pressed it closer to his ear to hear.

"Y'ello?" He answered.

"....Don't. Say that, do you have what I asked for?" Rouge said back.

"Yeah, of course." Vector reassured, looking at the plot device he held under his shoulder.

"Good. I'll show you directions to get to my office, be prepared in 2." Rouge said, cutting off the transmission.

Vector looked around for Charmy, knowing Espio had already heard what Rouge said anyways. Charmy was still digging his way out from the pile of probably underage women. Vector grabbed Charmy's hand, sticking up from the pile, and pulled him right out. He then directed the ladies away from Charmy.

"How did you do that..?" Espio asked, the way the girls happened to follow Vector as if in a state of mind control.

"I read a book, named "HOW I AM SO AWESOME" by Gary Motherfucking Oak! You should read it some time!" Charmy cheered. "I forgot to turn my cool off."

Espio was about to question the contents of such a book, until he heard Rouge's voice from Vector's headphones.

"I hope you're prepared. First, go straight until you see two people making out. From them, make a right. After that, a guard will be standing in front of a door. That door is the bathroom, punch him in the face, and he'll point to my real location."

"....Why so cryptic?" Vector asked.

"Because, I like messing with odd goofballs such as you and your little team." It was all Vector could get an answer of before the line was cut.

"She has cameras around the place, or does she know everything that's going on?" Espio wondered out loud.

"Not sure, but thats our best bet." Shrugging, Vector motioned the two to follow him as they walked straight up and saw two others kissing. Avoiding to make direct eye contact with the scene, they made a sharp right. Running right into a creepy guard and a door.

Charmy waited to see who would punch the hell out of him. Vector was looked at by Espio, and seeing as how he is usually the best man for the job when it comes to punching things, he went up to the guard.

"This area is off limits." The guard said plainly. A moment later he got a mouthful of fist. He stumbled back onto the door, pushing it open a bit, and the guard looked at Vector as his shades slightly moved off his nose.

"Aww, nice hit..." The guard said, trying to regain his posture. He pointed over to a door behind the bar counter. "Go through the door, in the kitchen freezer, there's a ladder going up, that's her place."

"Thanks, we'll try punching you harder next time." Vector said with an honest smile.

A few minutes later, they were just about to get to the top of the ladder, it looked like there was a hole they had to climb up through. Charmy flew in first, then Espio hopped up with ninja power, and lastly, Vector climbed high enough to leap in without much of a problem.

The hatch closed from under them, as they stood in a room cluttered with jewelery and well furnished wood. Behind a mahogany desk embedded with large gems, sat Rouge.

"Oh, yes, Espio. I do have cameras, as well as audio receivers." She answered as they began to walk to her.

"So....Ms. Rouge...about our payment..." Vector reminded her, as he took the wrapped Plot Device from under his shoulder, and unrapped et.

"Yes, abot ur paymeant." Rogue begin. "there is someting you meed 2 no."

"Wut" SPO askt.

"Dere r more of thoes!" The bat with big brasts excliamded.

Vkter rasesed a berow. "Anded? Waut dus tht hv too du wit hour paeymint?"

"Werr dere esnt reelly any paement." Rouge the Fat saided. "Ppl are traymng to dsetroy dem, nd I wunted two c if yuu have wat it taeks."

"Wer nt gtting nothn fer hour herd wark?" Vktaer sid.

"You get GELORAY" annountimated Tits the Bat. "Sanic saevs da wurld ALL TEH TIME, an now,"

Rogue leemed ovr and luked him in aye.

"U get hees faim. U get hees mone. U GET EVRTHANG HE WULD GIT!!!1!"

Vektisharrara ralled hes ayeyes nd wrapped the plot device back up for a bit.

"But, nobody but you, and us three, know we HAVE this plot device, and even then, HOW do we use it to give us glory?"

Rouge, grinding her teeth, was going to answer. "Well...I didn't think about that part, but I'm sure you can figure something out!"

"Sure, give me about... 500 dollars in cash, and then you can wrap your fingers around this plot device." Vector said, keeping it away.

Rouge was frustrated with Vector's greed. Only she could ask for deals like that.

"Fine, be like that." Rouge said, relaxing on her comfy office chair. "I guess it will be just me, Fang, Ray and Might-"

Suddenly, a jetski crashed through the wall, and its rider, an old bearded man wearing a pair of aviator shades too big for him and sporting a heavy machine gun, was screaming as it slid across the floor, crashed into several fine vases and statues lying about Rouge's hideout. This scared everyone.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!" The old man cried.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Shouted Vector.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Charmy screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Rouge wailed.

"... Aaah." Espio groaned.

The old man suddenly stopped his war cry. "Say, you look like some nice fellers."

"Um... Who are you?" Espio asked.

Rouge was almost hysterical. "YOU RUINED MY STATUES AND GEMS AND-"

"Calm down, woman." The old man said. "And mah name's Old Man Henderson. Ah'm lookin' fer a walkin' talkin' blue hedgehog. Anya ya see him?"

"We saw him, yeah. But that guy is like wind, we don't know where he could be now." Vector answered.

"Aw, shoot." Old Man Henderson said. "Where was the last place ya saw 'em?"

Espio was trying to remember the events that happened while he was high. "... A warehouse, I think."

Charmy chirped in. "Yeah, then this guy called Boxcar Joe came in, and threw a beer bottle, and SOMETHING HAPPENED, I don't know what but here we are!"

Old Man Henderson looked at Charmy for a moment, dumbfounded. Then, in a low voice, he growled. "Boxcar Joeeee..."

Before anyone could ask, Old Man Henderson tipped his hat and said "Sayonara, fellas!" Pushing the jetski with his feet a little bit until it picked up and crashed out the section of the wall that wasn't broken.

Vector decided to grab the chance out of no where. "C'mon, 600 dollars and we'll help you repair!"

Espio tapped Vector on the shoulder. "Wait, she was saying something about Mighty and Ray helping out."

Vector looked back at the Chameleon. "Your...point?" He said with a bored expression.

"They're our friends, unlike this... tramp... Mighty's even a former Chaotix member!"

"Well you got a point, but she also said "Fang", and you know I hate every fiber of his being. So I'd rather not stick around to find out."

"You're right, but..." Espio looked around, thinking. Finally, he gave in. "Fine."

"Good, now, I think ROUGE can give me my money now..." He said turning to Rouge.

"You heard me." Rouge stated in a stuck-up and stubborn manner. "I'm not paying. I could always find someone who will do the job better, and for free... like Knuckles."

Vector stood right in front of the ridiculously expensive desk and didn't move a muscle. "Then...I'll stay right here." He shrugged.

Suddenly, again, the last part of the wall was blown apart as Old Man Henderson parked his jetski on top of Rouge's head.

"BUUUULLSHIT!" He shouted at Espio. "You lied to me!"

"What?" Espio wondered.

"WILL YOU JUST LEAVE? I'M TRYING TO STRIKE A DEAL HERE!" Vector shouted.

"THERE IS NO WAREHOUSE!" Henderson shouted at the Chaotix. "YOU ARE HIDING SOMETHING!"

"No, we are not hiding something! I'm trying to have a sit-in and suddenly YOU come in on your snow mobile-"

"Jetski, you uncultured croc."

"-Jetski, ruining the whole mood. What do you want with us?"

"I WANT THE TRUTH!" Henderson said. "You're hiding something about Sonic, or Boxcar Joe... Where are-"

As if the destroyed walls weren't enough, down from the heavens descended the Nyan Cat, and a hobo on top of it, beating it with a bass guitar. It crashed through the ceiling, and into Rouge's very prized collection of diamonds that weigh more than 1 kilogram. After confirming it was dead by bludgeoning it several more times, he turned to see the scene he interrupted. Specifically who he interrupted.

"Boxcar Joe..." The man with the aviators too large for him said in amazement.

"Oooold maaaan Henderson." The magical hobo replied.

"IT'S BEEN TOO LONG!" Henderson shouted.

Boxcar Joe was pulling himself together from the crash of the Nyan Cat. He held his bass guitar like a cane, and with his other hand, he plucked some of the Nyan Cat's poptart off and put it in his mouth.

Henderson dismounted the Jetski, and hopped to the floor. "Ever since our paths met at the Void, I've ALWAYS been itchin' to get a fair fight from you!"

"Heh, I guess you didn't like how that one stray shot ricocheted off at least a million cockroach heads before landin' in your side." Joe said as he was eating.

Everyone except Joe and Henderson was scared stiff. Everyone else was reduced to spectating, as if they were watching a movie.

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DIDN'T LIKE IT! Unfair, I tell ya what. A few more moments and I would have taken over an Exterminatus, and would have tore everything to shreds, but your anomalious luck just had to butt in..."

The two were now only a few inches away from each other's faces. Everyone in the room was dead silent.

"Say..." Henderson said, his face of hatred fading slightly. "Have you ever heard of... Hastur?"

Joe tried recollecting his memory. "One of the Elder Gods?"

"Yep." Henderson replied. "He's summoned when his greatest enemy says his name three times."

The world stopped.

"Hastur. Hastur. Hastur."

END OF CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 7

The chaotix stared for a few moments, waiting for something to happen.

POOF

...

Mighty sensed... a disturbance in the force. As if an Elder God was summoned by an old hick, to do battle with a walking anomaly of luck. And he wasn't there to see it.

He had to change that.

He had found himself in Station Square and the anomoly seemed to be eminating from Club Rouge. Right outside, he saw a towering figure, casting shadows upon the entire building.

"Oh what is it NOW-Oh. It's you."

As startled party-goers ran from the club screaming, the image of a giant robed and tentacled beast loomed above the club, snaring unsuspecting bystanders in its slimy tentacled fury. Those who were unlucky enough to be inside of Rouge's office at the time were the first to be captured by the leviathon, though Old Man Henderson was climbing just above the creature's beak, maniacally laughing, while Boxcar Joe stylishly avoided the onslaught, and used his guitar as his main weapon.

"Guys what are we gonna do?" Charmy wailed at the top of his lungs

"Shut the fuck up Charmy, this situation is bad enough without you acting like a little baby! So Rouge, what are you gonna do about this thing?" Vector bellowed

"I don't know, but I'm strangely aroused right now." Rouge chimed as she was brutally raped by two tentacles. Vector and Charmy quickly looked away in disgust, though Espio to the side attentively watched, whilst painting a lovely picture of the scene.

"Well you three are useless, hopefully someone will come along and help us out."

Suddenly, a familiar face appeared on a near by rooftop intently taking in the scene, and preparing to bound into action.

"Who is that? Is it Mighty? Or maybe Ray?" Charmy asked.

"Of course not, it's too short to be either of them. And is that.... a chao?"

"Hello Mr. Chaotix members!" Cream called to the reptiles and bug while she and cheese waved.

"When did she get here?" Charmy asked while squirming between the tentacles.

"I can answer that question." Old Man Henderson used the tentacles of Hastur as stepping stones to reach the Chaotix and Rouge, dodging tenticle swipe after tenticle swipe with his Olympic level agility.

Joe could tell Henderson meant ill on the poor youngsters in the slimey clutches of the hooded Hastur, and he had to act fast. A great idea spawned in his head, and jumped from the hole in the roof onto the streets. He ran back inside the club, and quickly plugged in his bass guitar to the sound system. He raises the volume to eleven on every amplifier, and on his bass guitar. He then stands on the largest one there, and begins to play some sick riffs.

"WHEN HE WAS YOUNG, YOU'D NOT FIND HIM DOING WELL IN SCHOOL," Boxcar Joe sang. "HIS MIND WOULD TURN UNTO THE WAAATUURRR."

This smooth, slick bass hipnotised the senses of almost all the mortal beings within the ten block radius. Then, taking his opportunity, he shouted. "ALWAYS THE FOCUS OF AAA-DOLESCENT RIDICULE, HE WENT OUT TO ATTACK HAASTUURRR."

And like mindless zombies, the doorways of every building on the street came flooding out with people, all punching Hastur's tentacles in mass unison. Because the summoning of Hastur had given him a sickness, making him a mortal being, he felt the need to send these hordes of back. As a result, Hastur retracted his tentacles, pulling Old Man Henderson's final step toward them out from beneath him.

However, on top of being a professional hockey player, an Olympic level gymnist, and supposedly a Vietnam veteran (even though he's 62, which means he was 12 by 1972), he was a master of parkour, which this skill had led to his Olympic entry. So as he fell landed on one of the tentacles, he rolled to his side, and used the momentum to leap from the tentacle over the crowds, and once again rolling as he landed. Boxcar Joe was nowhere in sight, but he could definitely hear him.

"..I THINK BEFORE MY DAYS ARE DONE, I WANT TO BEEE A FIIISHER MAAN." Boxcar Joe sang from within Club Rouge.

"Damn, that's some sick bass." Henderson noted to himself before running in, as Boxcar Joe hid behind an amp while playing to avoid being seen.

"Now as I was saying..." Old Man Henderson began after he climbed Hastur's robes and on the tentacles holding them hostage. "This little girl is here for the pleasure of my dear parrot Rupert, he always had a soft spot for the little tikes." Suddenly Cream was in his arms, looking up nervously at the stuffed parrot.

"How did Cream get over here so fast?" Questioned Espio

"I'm more curious about the parrot." Rouge added.

"You idiots forgot all about this again haven't you?" Henderson tossed his special plot device up in the air with his open hand. "Remember, I control the very fabric of time and space with this baby!"

"Um, no we didn't forget about it." Vector stated. "You never took it out!"

Espio realized something."Isn't that a plot device? Why aren't we talking like someone's typing the script with their elbow?"

"Oooh shiny, may I please see it, Mr. creepy old man?" Cream asked politely, while using her patented super puppy eyes. The sheer amounts of cuteness on her face seemed to calm everyone and trap them within a hypnotic transe, causing the Old Man to happily hand over the orb. Immediately after she retrieved the orb she used the plot device to summon a single character that would effectively solve everyone's problems.

"V. MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE KIIICK!" Screamed Metal Sonic while wearing Captain Falcon's helmet as he flew in from nowhere. The impact of his foot to Hastur sent the beast flying off into the distance, causing it to release all it held captive. The small group ended up back in Rouge's office, with Old Man Henderson mysteriously disappearing, with nothing more than a note reading "I'll be Black" and a black parrot feather remaining in his place. Metal Sonic landed alongside them all, removing his helmet and holding a book.

"You just had to come along when it started to get good." Rouge yelled at Metal Sonic, Espio glared at him from afar, with bloody tissues stuffed into his nose.

"Don't mind them, we're thankful for you helping us Mr. Shiny Sonic." Cream said and curtsied along with Cheese, both being sure not to spill their ice cream.

"HOW THE FUCK DID SHE GET THAT?" Metal exclaimed.

"Oh, she tricked some old cook into giving it to her, I say we just leave it with her until we figure out what to do with it." Vector stated.

"But Vector, remember that thing can create whatever we want, so we could finally get enough cash to pay the rent, and then some!"

"Which also means that i could use it to restore my riches, and then some!"

"And I could watch more tentacle porn, and then some!"

Vector, blinded by the dollar signs that replaced his pupils caused by the image of him swimming through a sea of gold was quick to shot. "GET THAT FUCKING RABBIT!!"

The 5 others in the room lunged at Cream and tackled her in unison. Their stuggled occured for a few seconds, until Metal Sonic popped out and said: "It's gone!"

The others pulled away from Cream and found Metal's statement to be true.

Vector grabbed onto Cream, and began to yell at her "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE PLOT DEVICE YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

"I can answer that question." said a black and yellow robot who stood behind Cream. "Mistress Cream summoned me using the device in question, and just before your attack she handed it to me to get rid of it. Then, by analyzing the device for a short time I determined that the best course of action would be to use the device to remove it from existence."

<<Actually he merged with it (that's his special ability) but he'd have to be an idiot to actually tell them. He's simply supressing it until an oppurtune moment arises>>

"YOU WHAT?" The others yelled.

"Wait hold on, who is this guy again?" Charmy asked.

"Hey, now that you mention I, I don't believe I've seen this guy before?" Espio commented.

"What, it's me, Gemerl!"

"Never heard of ya." Vector said.

"But you guys have to remember me, especially you Rouge! Remember, I'm made from the remains of Emerl after he blew up!"

"Oh you mean that one robot I tried to turn into thief. Yeah he seemed to be able to adapt to almost anything, yet he was horrible at pleasuring a girl, if you know what I mean~... But you don't look familiar at all." Rouge stated.

"Ew, but Metal Sonic, you have to remember me, we hung out in storage for a while after I was created, you showed me the ropes and even taught me how to betray Eggman and become the main villain!"

Metal Sonic shrugged. "I've done that with plenty of robots, and I erase my memory of them each time to avoid any emotional strife upon their inevitable destruction. So if we did I wouldn't remember you anyway."

Cream thought it was best to add. "To be fair Gemerl, we did forget about you and left you in a closet after a while. The only reason your here is because I actually wanted one of my stuff animals and accidentally thought about you."

Gemerl curled up into a ball and sat in the most intact corner of the office, mourning his status as the character that everyone forgets. Everyone looked at him and snickered for a little bit, until Metal decided to change the subject.

"Oh that's right, Sonic, Blaze, and Eggman are still trapped inside of this book!"

"Don't tell me you're going crazy just like the normal Sonic, he's tried to spin us that yarn for ages." Vector said sceptically.

"Like you've got anyone else to trust," Metal Sonic began. "You guys were high on cocaine the whole time."

"He's telling the truth, I can sense the presense of several beings inside of this book." Rouge said in a mystic tone.

"Watch you talkin bout boobie lady?" Charmy asked in disbelief.

"My time on the streets has taught me many things, years ago I studied underneath a spirit medium only to discover my own untapped powers" Rouge said and with a snap of her fingers the entire room went black, and once light returned the group sat in a circle holding hands around the book, with Rouge wearing a crown of candles on her head. "Let us see what secrets this ancient tome hides..." She then broke out into a deafening high note, causing her eyes and mouth to light up in an intense glow. A gale suddenly picked up in the room and those within it were forced to clinge to their comrades to avoid being taken away. Between them, the book, floated in the air as its pages were turned until the image of Rick Astley appearred before them, and the echoing sound of a poppy yet annoying toon filled the ear.

"FUUUUCK!" Espio screamed

"GOD DAMMIT!" Metal Sonic screamed

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Vector telled at the top of his lungs.

Meanwhile, Charmy and Cream calmly sung along whilst Rouge laughed her tits off, until she finally closed the book. "Yeah, we're not getting them out of this book."

MEANWHILE....

"So why are we on a boat again?" Blaze asked as she pouted in the back seat of the small boat, while Mario and Toad rowed and Sonic acted as navigator. Amy could not fit on the boat, due to her immense and overpowered power armor, so she grabbed another boat, flipped it upside down over her head, and was following them, underwater. The area was rather bleak, with a dense fog blocking the blue sky and the sea's color being demoted to a dull gray, with remnants of sunken vessels bobbing in its waves.

"Plot convenience Blaze, have you not been following this cracktastic story?" Sonic questioned whilst scanning the horizon using a telescope.

"I stopped caring when you decided to put on overalls." Blaze sighed while playing with the water with her finger.

"Hey! That's-a my shtick!" Mario exclaimed.

"Both of you shut the fuck up, I think I see something ahead." Sonic said as he caught a murky figure in his telescope. Before him was a small cove, with a cave. "Alright, according to this scroll of ancients that was passed down from many generations I spontaneously found in my boot, we should find a sacred weapon in a chest right next to a fog door, in which is a demon that guards the gate back home in reality. Shouldn't be THAT hard."

"Oh, watch it be a giant goddamn gargoyle." Blaze noted.

"Or two!" Toad added.

"Or a Flame-a lur-"

"SHUT UP GUYS I HAVE PTSD OVER THIS SHIT." Sonic complained.

Finally reaching the cave, Amy managed to climb the rockside so she could ditch her row boat which she used to breathe.

"Just like in that movie with the pirates~!" She squealed. "What was it again... Cast Away?" Sonic was finding it increasingly hard to conceal his identity.

Eventually, they reached a rocky shore of some sort within the cave. Skeletons awaited with glowing eyes and were already rolling around in delight. They did not expect to be met with a chainsword tearing through them from a twelve year old girl in seven foot tall suit of high-tech armor. After hundreds of broken skeletons later, Amy cried out "I found it!"

"Ornstein", Blaze, Eggman, Mario and Toad found Amy, next to a doorway that only barely accomodated her size. It was filled with an immensely thick fog. Next to it was a wooden door, opened.

"Alright," Blaze said. "That fog door is probably where the demon is, so we should probably get that sacred weapon beyond the wooden door."

"I can't." Amy answered. "I tried."

"Why not?" Eggman asked.

At that point, Sonic looked through the doorway, and saw a staircase; a wooden staircase. The first three steps were crushed by an immense foot. Sonic barely managed to only let a "PFFFFT" slip out, before hopping up to the fourth stair. Blaze and Mario followed. At the top of the staircase, was a large chest. Sonic looked around him, knowing that he was either going to get an awesome weapon or a terrible weapon, but no matter what, he was going to make it out. He turned his body back to the chest, looking over his shoulder and Blaze and Mario one last time.

He turned full attention to the chest. Sonic flipped open the fastening in the center of the chest, and put his spear aside. He put his hands at both sides, and heaved the top of the heavy chest over. The insides gleamed with a holy glow. Sonic looked inside, and was amazed. In a slight daze, he unquestioningly withdrew the contents of the box. And in his hands, Sonic held...

Caliburn.

"Hello. I am the Sacred Sword Caliburn. And your name is...?"

"Ornstein" shook his head. "Knight of the Round Table, King of Camelot, Sir Sonic, Sonic the He-"

"Wait. Sonic? That's you under that gleaming gold armor?" Caliburn didn't waste time.

"Oh, so you remember me!" Sonic exclaimed, relieved.

"Ah yes! I say, you had me fooled for a moment there. Impressive suit, I must say." Caliburn complimented. He had grown a fond respect of Sonic over their adventures. "I see you brought Percival, and she's... skimpier than usual."

Sonic nervously nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I never-"

"Did she dress like that for YOU or did she just-"

"SHUT UP YOU FILTHY SHIPPING PIECE OF SCRAP!" Sonic ordered.

"Haha, fine, fine." Caliburn laughed. "So, how is that clone army you said you'd be working o-"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Sonic screamed. "And look, that's not really Percival..."

Sonic explained the current situation to Caliburn, from how they got in the book, to why Sonic is undercover right now. After the explanation, Caliburn agreed to keep quiet. For now. Returning to Eggman, Toad and Amy, Caliburn couldn't keep completely quiet.

"Is that Nimue?" Caliburn whispered as everyone was gathering around the fog door.

"Yeah, her real self." Sonic whispered, in a deeper tone in case if Amy picked it up somehow.

"Daaaaamn no wonder you went with Percival, man Nimue put on we-"

"Oh god dammit hush."

Sonic went forth to the fog door. He looked around his friends, and then toward the floor. He walked in, ready for anything.

He looked up.

And he found himself in a small, twentyfive by fifteen foot room. The walls of the room reached toward a ceiling that was not there, and instead continued until the rocky cove had reached its limit, and showed the starry night sky. Foliage littered the room. To the left was a staircase, with a hound laying on it. To the right, tiny pillars helped held up the wall. In the back lay the ruins of since collapsed pillars and a metal gate, behind it, three chests and an archway, holding a swirling black and purple portal. But in front of him, he saw a large humanoid being, with the head of a goat with large, demonic horns. It held two massive cleavers. His face was inches away from Sonic's.

"Sup?" Said the Capra Demon.

Sonic remained silent, quaking behind his armor.

"Oh come on, Oreos, speak up. How's it hangin'?" The large demon asked, beleiving Sonic was Ornstien.

Sonic snapped.

Sonic performed a spindash and launched himself at the Capra Demon while swinging Caliburn vertically. The sudden attack caught the massive beast off guard, but not much could send this monster onto its behind. Sonic rushed to the staircase, where a wolf was laying in wait. He shoved Caliburn directly into its mouth, impaling it, and flung it toward the Capra Demon, momentarily occupying him. The second wolf came, angry, but it was made quick work of by Sonic.

"I see your swordsmanship has only improved!" Caliburn commented.

Sonic didn't respond. He was concerned that the Capra Demon was now raising both of its cleavers above its head, ready to slash at him from down below. It was by now that the others had began to come in, and immediately, Amy came running up to it, her chainsword revving to slaughter this demon just as easily as the others. But the Capra Demon was not like the others. For starters, it was not a pussy. The Capra Demon turned his head, and then redirected his attack; from Sonic, he spun on his heel and slammed Amy with both of his cleavers, with such immense force, that she was knocked onto her back.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Amy screamed, unable to get up due to the sheer clunkiness of the armor.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Blaze shouted, in dreadful relief that she didn't get squished by her.

"MAMA MIA!" Mario cheered, throwing in his two cents.

Seeing he had multiple targets to deal with, the Capra Demon began his Full Frontal Assault tactic, involving attacking with both swords quickly and repeatedly at a target until they die, unable to do anything until their death. His target; the cat girl stunned by almost being squished to death. And as the Capra Demon got ready to attack, so did Sonic.

Sonic, from the top of a the staircase, leaped onto the wall, running along it, looking at the demon the whole time. As he got in line with it, the demon was ready to strike, so Sonic leaped from the wall, and sunk Caliburn in the Capra Demon's skull. The Capra Demon screamed, keeping a firm grip on his swords, and through all the pain he still swung, but luckily Blaze rolled away toward the pillars in time. The Capra Demon threw its hands on its head, trying to swat Sonic off. Sonic withdrew the sword from the demon's head, and leaped off, in front of the staircase.

The Capra Demon has had enough of Oreos' shit. He spun over to him, swinging both cleavers, one high one low. One made contact, sending Sonic to the wall. Although it hurt, he made a quick recovery, and rolled out before a second strike came. He sprinted up the stairs, jumped and ran up the wall, skyward.

Assuming he would be gone for quite a while, the Capra turned to his closest target: Amy. She was actually a foot or so away, and angry. Amy sent the chainsword at the Capra Demon from her side, which was blocked with one of his cleavers. With his other cleaver, the demon attacked Amy, who stopped the attack with her heavily armored hands. The Capra Demon took this moment to note that without his hounds, he was at a bit of a disadvantage. Amy, not taking any stalemates, rose her foot and slammed the Capra Demon in the chest, sending him flying toward the center of the room.

Everyone else in the room, although willing to help, was not sure how to go about doing so without just cluttering the already tiny room up even more, so they stuck to staying behind the tiny pillars. Besides, it was a good fight.

The Capra Demon got back onto his feet, and pushed Amy away with the tip of his sword as soon as he could. He used Amy's time spent stumbling to ready his infamous "Double Dynamite Dildo" Dual Overhead slash attack. Amy had tried to get an attack off before it hit, but she wasn't fast enough. It made perfect contact, sending Amy on her back once again.

"Ah," the Capra Demon said, readying to crush Amy's head with another overhead slashing. "I love the smell of RAPE in the morn-"

Something bounced off the Capra Demon's head. Irritated, and slightly stung by it, he looked at the item that fell. It was Ornstein's helmet. It was then he heard something from above. The Capra looked to above.

And he saw his doom.

Speeding down from the wall appeared to be the god of speed, complete with a holy gold glow, accelerating at an immense pace, about to wreak divine vengeance upon the Capra Demon's face. The Demon, actually fearing for its life, rose its cleavers in defense. Undetered, Sonic smirked, and began to boost toward his enemy, gaining even more speed. Both his natural speed and gravity were at work. When he decided he was close enough, Sonic poised Caliburn, and leaped down at the Capra Demon at supersonic speeds, embedding Caliburn within the Capra's skull. The skull shattered, killing the Capra. The impact force shook the ground and kicked up dust. The Capra Demon began to fade as well.

When it was all settled, and the spectators could view clearly, Sonic was sitting on the ground, with Caliburn sticking out of the grass between his ankles, encircled with burning sticks. Sonic was breathless, and Caliburn thought it fit to say the witty remark Sonic wasn't going to.

"Ladies, please, contain your orgasms." Caliburn said with all the snobbiness you would expect from Sonic.

"Mama Mia, what a show!" Mario cheered.

"Sonic?!" Amy gasped.

"Amy, you glomp me with that armor on, and you'll end up like that guy." Sonic stated.

Suddenly the slowly fading carcass of the Capra was suddenly ashed away by a cool blue glow as the form began to shrink down. I wonder what this could possibly mean.

"So who was the other idiot to get sucked into this book?" Toad asked as everyone stared at the light shrink smaller and smaller.

"It's probably just Blaze's dildo collection." Sonic commented, before feeling a burning sensation in his deriar.

Suddenly the light bursted into tiny little sparkles to reveal the shape of a small female raccoon.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Sonic screamed upon seeing the monstrocity.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Blaze wailed upon realising who it was.

"Cool your flat chests guys, it's just a little girl." Amy commented.

"OI MAYTES IT'S BEEN SO LAWNG SINCE I'S SEEN ONNA YAS!" Marine greeted, brutally raping the English language with her words. "HOW YA DOIN', MAH BLOKES?"

"How-a in the hell-a did a little broad-a like-a this get-a so far?"

"OH DATS CUZ A MI SPECIAL SUPAH ULTRAH WEAPUN!" Marine yelled as she yanked from behind her back a rather large gun, with a penis shaped nozzel. "AI CAL IT THE SUPAH ULTRAH MARINE SQIRT GUN X-72-47. IT FIRES A SUPAH STWEAM A WHITE JUICES THAT STAWPS ENEMYES EN THAY'RE TWACKS!"

"OTHER THAN your disgusting annihilation of the English language and embarrassing all those who speak it," Caliburn began, emotionless. "Why do you have that. And why are you people obsessed with dildos."

"Did she somehow get MORE annoying since the last time I came to your dimension?" Sonic asked.

"Not really, the bitch was perky and a nuisance but not this annoying, it may be an after effect of the plot device in the drink she must've taken, maybe they didn't melt it well enough." Blaze analyzed.

"I wonder if we could preform some kind of surgery to get it out." Sonic thought.

"Did somebody say..." Dr. Eggman added in as he appeared in the outfit of a legitimate doctor as he slapped on his gloves. "...SURGERY?"

Sonic and Blaze turned around and stared in fear at the mustachioed gentlemen as he grabbed Marine and strapped her down using materials scattered about. "Nurse Rose, please bring me my tools." He said as he held his hand out.

"Yes Doctor." Amy said as she finished dressing in an even more creepy nurse's outfit due to the blood stains that form "S+A" inside of a heart on the front of her top. Before making it to the would be surgeon, she sent a quick wink and kiss to Sonic, which caused him to shudder and hide behind Blaze. "Here you go." She said as she handed the toolkit full of rusty knives and needles to the doctor.

"I gotta wonder where that blood comes from," Sonic whispered to Blaze. "From her crotch, or her patients?"

"OI RN'T U DAT MUSTACHE MAN FRM B4? AI THOUGHT I SANT YU TA HAT N STEAMIE HELL!"

"Now, now miss, if you don't shut your fucking mouth I might find the need to remove your voice box as well." Eggman said as he lifted up Marine's shirt to expose her chest area, which had several holes in it, each conveniently labeled. "Let's see spare ribs, no, boomerang, no, voice box, not ye- Ah, here we are, the plot device." Eggman said with glee. He pulled his tweasers out of the tool box and carefully reached into the hole towards the small round object in her chest. Time seemed to stand still, and the tentions was so thick that everyone nearly suffocated in it. Suddenly a loud "EUREKA!" shook the viewers. Eggman had finally gotten ahold of the plot device, and now all he needed to do is rip it out, and he did just that. However, upon doing so he made contact with the wall of the infected area, causing Marine's nose to take on a red glow.

"BLIMEY!" She screamed.

"Nurse, tend to the patient, she won't die on us now!" Eggman said as he placed the plot device to the side and began stitching the hole back together.

"Yes sir!" Amy said as she grabbed her hammer and slammed it on the raccoon's head. "Her heart rate should be stable now doctor."

"Indeed it is, Ms. Rose." Eggman said as he stood up, took off his gloves, and turned to the crowd. "THE SURGERY WAS A COMPLETE SUCCESS!"

Mario and Toad broke out into boisterous applause, as Sonic and Blaze looked over in shock.

"Da fuck was that?" They said in unison.

"That was... strange." Caliburn noted.

"That was a great performance, doctor!" Amy complimented.

"Why thank you, I-"

The plot device flerkerad in2 lefi.

"-new et would werk!"

"I SAY, WAT IS GIOING AWN NWO" Calerbern askied shooked.

"De purlt devoice es on" Da Walrus point uot. "GOOGOOGAJOOB"

"Wen plarp devrice is on, tings git stoopid." Sanic sed. "Liek, "dat 1 comek were Goofy gits AIDS" stoopid."

Booze loled, but ten stop. "wat."

"welt, ferst off, Gewfy gits ADIS frum Aeris, nd he keels her wit n ax. Den Yuffee cums in, an gits slshed buy Guffy butt den Goofy head chopped awf an blud gits in onna Yewfee's kuts. Dr. Maerio den diagenositizes her with TEH AIDS. Seh ten becomes AIDS ZOMBIE."

not a word was spoked as Sanic finnish.

"Ah wood tull U 2 look et up, BAAAT your betr off not."

"WELP WEED BUTTER GO NAOW" Eagmahtn saided ass he maed way 2 purtal.

"dO we brang Maerio and Frog?" Breaze questionated. "dey were alrdy heer wen wii got heer."

"NYANNnnNNnnNNnnnnnNNNNNNnnnNNNYEEnnnNnnnnNNYAAAAAAnnn" Scoin pondernated. At time, Dr. Googoogajoob wuz lueking fur a way 2 supperess flop devic. Su he lefteed hees shrt, n insert it in bellybutton, effectively suppressing it for everyone, but him.

.demialcxe namggE .rD "!retteb lla erehT"

"Why not ask them? So, Mario, Toad, want to come along and have that crossover adventure everyone's always wanted?"

The two jumped, and looked at each other. Toad let out a nervous laugh. "Ahaha, yeah, we'd like to, but we don't feel that this will be that adventure. Sorry!"

"Alright, well we didn't want you to come with us anyway!" Sonic responded as if he were a five year old. He made his way over to the chests. One was made of redwood, another one was tinted lavender, and one had gold fastenings. "Looks like they're color coded. What's in chest number one?"

Baconwoman made his way to the redwood chest. He lifted the chest, and found...

EGGMAN HAS FOUND THE OMEGA POWERSUIT!

This suit instantly equipped onto eggman, and gave him advanced strength, speed, stamina, and so on. With various guns hidden within it. Also a small orb and cube appeared on each of his shoulders.

"How the fuck did that get in Medieval Times?" Sonic asked, dumbfounded.

".aedI oN" .deggurhs namggE

Blaze, after the item the doctor had recieved from his chest, walked to her lavender one, and opened it, to find...

BLAZE HAS FOUND THE VORPAL BLADE!

Just by holding the steak-knife sized blade, it makes her want to chop thinks with a sickening snicker-snack.

"Oh my fucking god you got the Vorpal Blade." Sonic said in the awed tone of a five year old looking at the best present in the Christmas tree that doesn't belong to him. "I WANT IT!"

Blaze flicked the blade forward and back, turned her head and said "Oh, so you don't want what's in the golden one?"

Sonic looked back at the chest, and sighed. "Fine, let me see what useless item is in this chest." Sonic opened it, reached his hand in, and pulled out...

SONIC HAS FOUND THE CONVINENT PLOT DEVICE!

It's a golden plot device, that doesn't distort the realm around it to unintelligable levels. Instead, it tips reality slightly in the owner's favor.

"Alright, this is great!" Sonic said, throwing his hands in the air. He suddenly noticed something on it. He brought it down to eye level for closer examination.

.deksa namggE "?ti si tahW"

Sonic reached under Eggman's rolling hills of fat, and pulled out poop deice, nd ded sumting to stop its effects.

"These things have off switches." Sonic stated flatly. "The plot device's effects themselves make the switch disappear, but with this it just shows up."

"Why?" Blaze asked.

"Because I have a plot device that works WITH me, not against me. I am INDESTRUCTABLE." Sonic laughed maniacally with fake lightning flashing in the background, even though they were essentially at the bottom of a pit.

"What if someone else got their filthy mitts on it, Sonic? Then what?" Eggman asked.

"Then....nothing, because that isn't going to happen." Sonic said firmly.

"...Are you sure about this? You never know. Something could just fall from the sky, and snag it without us noticing." Blaze questioned.

"But Blaze, you're forgetting the crucial fact that I am Sonic the Hedgehog, meaning that something like that could never happen." Sonic said arrogantly as he spun his plot device on his finger like a basketball. Suddenly, a green hawk flashed by and swiped the plot device.

"As I was saying..." Sonic started as he didn't notice at all. "We should be able to fix the problems around here if we use this plot device properly."

"...One problem there, hero." Eggman said dryly.

"What?" Sonic grumbled.

"That plot device is gone." Blaze pointed out, with a not-surprised expression.

"Wait." Sonic noticed with extreme, eye-popping surprise. He looked around in frantic panic, when SUDDENLY...

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" An annoying laugh cried from above.

Sonic looked up to see Jet, flapping his wing-less bird arms to fly away with the Convienient Plot Device in his beak. "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME NOW, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!"

Sonic shook in anger, and with his new found knowledge, he readied his other plot device.

Blaze looked up as well, noticing him leave. "isn't that the whiny bird who kept saying your name in full at every oppurtunity?"

Sonic reared the device back like a grenade. "HEY, JENSEN, ASK FOR THIS!"

Sonic flicked PLUNK DEvaice awn ass (LOLOLO1_4ss) he trew it away from Sonic nd ento Jit. Plane wuz hit in neek nd droopt gold ploop devoos, nd booth fell to grund as Aeroplane fluw to sturry nite skai with a TING nd a SHIIINEEEEYYYY. Sanic gwapd d plurt vice n tuned it off, restoring everything to normal.

"Oh." Sonic said. "Convienent one wasn't on. Of course, I don't need it on to be THIS AWESOME." Sonic added, turning it on tossing it to Blaze. "Let's get out of here, I'm getting flashbacks."

"You know sir, its quite odd to see you working together with Sonic." Orbot commented

"I reckon that sumthin might be wrong in your thinkin box." Cubot added in, with his misfunctioning voice chip and all.

"Where did you two idiots come from?!?!" Eggman asked in surprised.

"We came with the suit, are you really just now noticing us?" Orbot asked.

"Of course I noticed the two of you, I was simply hoping that you were only there for show. But anyway, get off of me!"

"Sorry, but we can't do that. We're kind of stuck to the suit, and really I'm not even sure how we got here in the first place." Orbot replied.

"Eggman, just let them hang around, I'm sure they'll enjoy Baldy McNosehair's company." Sonic smirked.

"...That was a terrible pun." Blaze blinked.

"So then duckies, shall we make our exits now?" Marine asked as she appeared next to the portal.

"Oh god it's still alive..." Sonic gasped.

"Okay guys, what we do is go through the portal and leave her with the first loser we find." Blaze whispered to Sonic and Eggman

"Okay, and what about Amy?" Eggman asked. The other two turned around and noticed that Amy had gotten an item too, the MEGA SUPER DEATH HAMMER, a giant hammer made out of machinery at max power, with two giant, rapidly pumping pistols making up the two flats of the hammer, with the rest of it coated with electrical spikes. At the moment, she was menacingly leering at Mario and Toad.

"So I heard that you gave my sonikku a bit of trouble in the past." She said in a demented voice.

"Mario, whatever you do, don't answer her!" Toad whispered to him.

"I HEARD THAT!" Amy yelled as she raised her new hammer into the air.

"M-m-mama mia... Look, I-a...well...we did have some-a trouble in the-a past...but isn't that all behind us...?" Mario tried to stay calm as he watched Toad getting mauled.

"So it's true then!" She yelled as she finished mashing mushrooms and directed her attention to Mario.

"OH GOD!" Sonic began to cry as he watched the massacre in horror.

"Let's just run from her." Blaze ordered.

The trio attempted to scurry towards Marine and the portal in silence, but then someone had to open their mouth.

"What about me Sonic? So you plan on leaving me to rust once more?" Caliburn inquired.

"MY GOD WHERE ARE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE COMING FROM?!" Sonic started to get a massive headache.

"So you've forgotten me already? Alright then; Oh Amy~!" Caliburn called.

Sonic reluctantly grabbed Caliburn. "LET'S BOOK IT!" Sonic yelled as he shoved the other three through the portal.

"SOOOOOONIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Amy yelled as she left the plumber to chase her love and his friends through the swirling vortex.

"You're LEAVING US HERE?!" Mario exclaimed.

"YES!!" Sonic yelled before he dissappeared.

Meanwhile in the real/Sonic's world....

The Chaotix, Cream, Gemerl, Metal Sonic and Rouge had gotten bored and were in the middle of a riveting game of Poker.

"So Ms. Rouge, is this a good hand?" Cream asked Rouge, showing her a set of Aces.

"Oh no, those are the worst cards that you could have, here I'll take them off your hand." She replied. She then took Cream's aces and laid them across the table. "Read-em and weep boys, now hand it over." Everyone grunted as they shoved their chips in Rouge's direction.

Vector slowly got suspicious as his Detective senses tingled. "Cream...you might want to ask someone a bit more reliable next time, okay?" He directed.

"I'm...not the only one suspicious...?" Espio asked as his eyes narrowed.

"Cheating hag la-?" Vector quickly covered the young Chaotix's mouth

"Don't listen to those silly boys Cream, auntie Rouge would never mislead you." Rouge said.

"Says the one that tried to use Emerl as a accomplice in your schemes and rogue activites..." Regardless that none of the Chaotix were seen at the time.

"You mean my scheme to steal jewels for charity, I mean its not like those rich skanks don't have enough as it is." Rouge replied.

"Um guys, does that book normally do that?" Gemerl asked as he pointed towards the book as it levitated while surrounded by an eerie purple glow.

And suddenly the currently levitating book swung open and out ran Sonic, donning almost a full set of armor that looked like a dress and brandishing a talking british broadsword, followed by Blaze, rushing behind him trying to get her coat on to conceal her chainmail bikini, and then Eggman, all with their hands over their heads unanimously shouting "RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!"

"Sonic?" Everyone in the room asked as he passed by.

"Guys, we shouldn't have went into that cocaine factory..." Vector sighed.

"I don't think this is a trick of the mind...V-Man..." Espio said, his eyes on the book still.

Then Amy, in seven foot tall power armor, came out of the book, frantically swinging her mega super death hammer whilst screaming the name of her lover. As she passed by, she accidently smacked Metal Sonic's head off of his body and sent it flying across town.

"Amy?" Cream asked quizzically, while the others reeled back in horror.

Finally, Marine came out, still dazzed by the events inside of the portal.

"...She new?" Vector asked nobody in particular

"Whoorrya cawlin' BLOODY NEW ya scaley BLOKE!?" Marine rambled, she must have been struck by Amy at some point in the vortex.

"Uh, you...?" He blinked twice.

"Well ya blinkin wanka, why don't ya keep ya yap shut instead of getting yo knickers in a bunch. Now I'm off to find that crazy shiela and give her a piece of my mind." Marine exited stage right after the others, while everyone sat there with astonished looks.

"Espio...did she just tell me off...?" Vector blinked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I'm...strangely turned on." Vector stared at noone in particular.

Espio sighed. "Right."

"You do know that she's underaged?" Rouge asked.

"....Damnit, why is it always like that? Oh well, I guess I can still try-" Vector was cutoff by a large boom at the door.

Meanwhile somewhere across town, Metal Sonic's still active head sat in some allyway by itself. "So what exactly just happened?" He sat there for a moment, cars drove by splashing water on him, it began to rain, and stray animals came to hump his head. He began to weep as he was forced to bare through the constant thrusting until, something came along to scare them away. It was a slow, grinding sound. Metal Sonic wondered if it was someone coming to free him from his senses. Before the doctor's "enhancements", he would have been only mildly angered, as he would not be able to smell the ashes and taste defeat. But as the sound approached, he could only hope it was trying to kill him. He looked up and saw Hastur, the elegant figure loomed over the pathetic looking head, in the past hour sense his downfall he had developed a gorgious handlebar mustache, and held with him the 3 kids he had somehow created.

"Oh just great, what do you want?" Metal asked while looking away. Hastus, being a giant octopus beast thing, simply shrieked and flailed its tentacles.

"What did you expect me to do, you were threatening my friends." Metal Sonic responded, Hastur gave the same reply as before.

"We do have something special!" Metal Sonic yelled, only to be met with the same response.

"Y-You cheated on me in college, but I admit it, I still love you. And I'll use that love to become, bigger, stronger, and better!" Metal Sonic began to hop about in determination. Suddenly a large tank barged its way into the alley, sending Hastur flying. Metal Sonic looked up in shock, but then noticed Tails pop out of the hatch on top.

"Alright you two, slow down!" Tails yelled at Shadow and Knuckles who were running in hamster wheels to power the machine. They both came to a hault and fell to the ground panting.

"Good, now did I hear that a certain robot wants to get bigger?" Tails asked as he stepped out of the Tank and grabbed the head.

"Well yes, I-" Metal Sonic began.

"Good, TO THE WORKSHOP!" Tails yelled as he tossed Metal's head into the tank and flew in. He whipped at Shadow and Knuckles to get get them moving, and the tank shot off into the distance.

About an hour or two later at Tails' workshop...

The entire ground surrounding the building opened up as the gargantuan form of Tails' new Metal Sonic with a few modifications to give him a more buffed up appearance and godzilla like proportions. In his hand he held Tails, who marveled at his success, and Shadow and Knuckles, who were cowering in fear.

"Thanks Tails, this is exactly what I wanted!" Metal Sonic said in gratitude to the tiny fox.

"It's my pleasure, especially sense you're so much more useful to me now." Tails replied.

"Now that I've achieved greatness, I must hurry back to my love. Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, grab my cheek bolt!" The Giant Metal Sonic commanded as he raised his hand to his right cheek, they reached up and grabbed onto the bolt that boked out of his metal jaw, causing a burst of rainbows to propel the titanic machine off into the distance in order to pleasure his long-time love.

About an hour or two beforehand, elsewhere...

Sonic peeked out from the sewer lid in the street. Satisfied, he got up. "Phew! Coast is clear. I can't BELIEVE we dodged Amy like that!" The still armor-clad Sonic pulled Blaze from the sewer.

"I can't believe we even got Eggman down that hole." Blaze said.

Sonic pointed at the Convienency Device. "It was your idea, while you were holding that, so it worked."

The two colorful creatures pulled the fat doctor from the sewer hole. He had a question to ask. "Erm, although that plot device is great to have, it makes me worry..."

"Hmm?" Blaze asked. Sonic's focus was fixated on something in the distance.

"What if there were more of these specialized plot devices, that were not in our hands, but our enemies?" Eggman explained. "I can see many other plot device variations; one that changes one's character, one that makes them fail everything they do, one that makes the user's charisma undebatably good... perhaps even a full on deus ex machina..."

"Oi." Sonic said under his breath, stepping away from the trio, whose attentioned he had gained. He began striding toward who he was focused on. He withdrew Caliburn as he began to sprint over there. Poor Ganja only heard Sonic's full metal sabatons clanging onto the ground when he was ten feet away with his sword high above his head. He had no time to react when Sonic cut his chest with Caliburn and sent him to the ground.

"GANJA, YOU CUNT!" Sonic screamed, pointing at him. "I THOUGHT WE KILLED YOU YEARS AGO! IT SEEMS YOU WEREN'T DEAD ENOUGH!"

"ohMAIGAWD STOP DON'TKEELME;_; AHLL DO ANYTHIIINNG!!"

"How about MAKE MY LIFE EASIER?" Sonic rose Caliburn, ready to plunge him into Ganja.

"AHKAY AHLL TELL U BOUT PREMI'S PLUN BUT DAWNTHURTME D:"

Sonic froze. "Wait. Prime? PLAN?"

"GNAJA PRAME WUNTS TO GRANT CWC ARCHMAGE STATUS ON HES 30TH VIRGIN BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!1!"

Sonic's hand trembled. His shaky hands dropped Caliburn onto the ground. Christian Weston Chandler. As an archmage.

"Buuuuuuuutt..." Ganja began again, backing up on the ground.

"But what?" Sonic asked. Blaze and Eggman were at his side by now.

Ganja was on his feet now. "... He sees dat cWC is TOO... AUTISMAL to be hunded wizerd powers w/out world fullen awnder le SUNNYCHOO, so that's really a lass-ditch ting. Seense hees not fooly reddy 2 do thees, hes ready to make a DEAL.."

Sonic gulped. "... And that deal is?"

A shadow began to form over Ganja's face, as it started to become incredibly masculine and chiseled. He smirked.

Ganja turned around and leaned over backwards into Sonic's face.

"Give us Metal Sonic's AI and you'll be safe from Chris-chan."

A harsh silence pierced the city as he said that.

"AAHAHAHAHALAWLOL0L0L0L0L0L0L0L sm3LL U L7R, FAGETS!" Ganja gloated, before raising one foot to an unnatural height above his headn and speeding off cartoonishly.

After a long, painful, and agonizing silence, the three looked at each other.

"SON OF A BITCH!"

One or two hours later, outside Tails' workshop (Present time with everything else)...

Sonic was watching from the bushes with Blaze and Eggman.

"Son of a bitch!" He cried as Metal Sonic flew off. "I knew we'd find Tails making some walking talking Steven Hawking machine for Metal Sonic, but NOT LIKE THIS! Now we'll never make up to Ganja Prime's ultimatum! And not only that, but it's Tails' birthday is tomorrow, it's getting dark, and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN A FUCKING STORE IN STATION SQUARE. WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"We need to sort our time out based on priorities." Eggman announced. "Your foxboy's birthday party can come later, can it?"

"Fuck no, not-on-birthday birthday parties suck." Sonic pouted. "I need more time to THINK, fuck..."

It was then Blaze sneezed.

"Ugh," she groaned. "And they said this cold would come in handy in the future, for some reason..."

Sonic didn't catch her drift. "What? When?"

"Back when this whole shenanigan started, Sonic." She groaned.

"Maybe there were other things that were dully noted to help us along the way?" Eggman wondered aloud. He turned to Blaze. "Did you notice anything..."

Sonic was lost in thought. He was trying to recollect the beginning of this mess...

<<FLASHBACK>>

<Sonic: Ugh, god DAMN IT. This adventure got weirder than Ed's dream where giant Kanker sisters smashed their heads together to create a weird reverse-saimese triplet thing.>

It was a beautiful day in Station Square. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Sonic was taking a nice slow walk to the grocery store. Ironic, huh? Tomorrow was Tails' birthday, and Sonic was going to get supplies for the suprise party. He wanted to make it awesome, and make sure nothing went wrong. Kinda like Sonic's last birthday, with the giant time eating robot and the time travel and the past selves and UGH. It was so confusing, Sonic preferred to not think about it. He has nightmares about it still. Anyway, on Sonic's way to the store, he bumps straight into a familiar figure...

It was none other than...

...

<Who was it again?>

DOC?!

"Oh! Um... Hi Sonic! I was just... picking up Evil Juice! For... my robots!", said Eggman.

No, not that Doc! The other one!

<Wait. Doc...?>

<Oh my God.>

<GENIUUUUUUUUUUUUS>

<<END OF FLASHBACK>>

"We gotta go back." Sonic said as he snapped from his trance.

Blaze rose an eyebrow. "Where?"

Sonic looked at her with the biggest grin he's had on his face all day. He got up from his sitting position, and strutted in between her and Eggman with a groove in his stride. He sat down, bobbing back in forth as if he was about to break into song. He wrapped his arms around both of them and pulled them in, as he gleefully answered:

"We gotta get BACK IN TIME!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzFmCCKQHns

END OF CHAPTER 7

INTERMISSION

"Oh Mister Metal Sonic"

A Fan Fiction

"Hastur I am home now." The Gigantic Metal Sonic said as he entered the room, gripping his sexy shoulder. "And I am looking so handsome; and my shirt, opened?" A random breeze entered the room, causing Metal Sonic's suddenly existant shirt to ripple, also revealing a frowning face at the center of his chest.

"Oooh Mister Metal Sonic, Ooh!" Hastur swooned upon his arrival. Hastur grabbed onto Metal Sonic screaming "Let's do it!"

"Yes, and I will leave my engines on." He said as the two gazed into each others eyes.

Meanwhile in a 20 mile radius of the event...

Chest Plates were Removed, as Rouge ripped hers off crying "Mister Metal Sonic!"

Men were Crushed, as Shadow and Knuckles wiggled beneath Metal Sonic's feet screaming "Mister Metal Sonic!"

It was Amazing

The End

_______

Meanwhile, in an underground base housing a recently mentioned cloned army in an undisclosed location, a medieval woman has troubles.

"'The Ganja Incident never happened', he said. 'Shadow dying was all in our heads',' he said." Percival ranted on, paddling with an oar from inside a barrel down a hallway flooded with blood of a fellow knight. "'NOTHING THIS STUPID CAN EVER HAPPEN', HE SAID."

Percival was the second in command of King Sonic's underground army of knights withdrawn from the Tales of King Arthur book, enchanted so that it sucks its readers in. Sonic, their king and savior from eternal damnation of indefinite haitus, was the first reader to decide to suck people out. Dozens of runthroughs and experiments later, before he realized it, Sonic had amassed battalions of look-a-likes of his friends. In order to keep track of the hundred or so knights, Sonic built a secret lair, withdrew the Blacksmith and began giving knights codenames, specialities, roles, different sets of armor, perhaps even different weapons. The reason she was mad was that every single Lancelot clone spontaneously died and exploded into blood, and the entire underground facility was literally knee deep in the dead. As second in command, it was Percival's job to find out what caused it, even though she was sure it was a legend she had heard about on a magical realm of existance known as the "Internet".

She paddled up to Lamorak, her bird-brain brother, based on a guy Sonic knew as "Jet".

"Hello." She greeted. "Enjoying the swim?"

"AM I EVER!" Lamorak blurted, enjoying the gore like a Satanic bird bath.

"Do you have a clue what happened here?" Percival asked.

Lamorak laughed. "Nope!"

Percival groaned. "I wonder how you're my brother sometimes."

"MAMA HAD A CHICKEN, MAMA HAD A COW!" Sang a Gawain knowledgable in the ways of the 90's rowing by in a box using a steel chair as an oar. "DAD WAS PROUD, BUT HE DIDN'T CARE HOW!"

Ignoring the cow comment, she rowed on. Dozens of refugees rowed across the facility like a white water rapid from Hell. She stopped a fellow Percival, her fancy garments stained with blood. "Do you know what caused this?" Percival asked.

"I don't know. I was just having a talk with the Galahad of my squad and our Lancelot passed by, suddenly all I hear is a stupid sounding laugh not belonging to him and he exploded." The designated diplomat went on.

"LADIEEESSS" Some Galahad said, rowing up in a canoe with sunglasses on. "Are you talking about what caused this flood, Percival? I'm with the secuirty division, we might have some recordings somewhere?"

"That'd be great, hold up." Percival cupped her hands together. "GAWAINS, DIG A WELL SOMEWHERE TO DRAIN THIS ALL OUT!"

The order was followed soon, and the blood had been mostly drained. The floors were littered with swords, helmets, pineapples and yoyos. Percival was breifly reminded that Sonic took out some people that weren't duplicates of his friends sometimes, as a result of his experiments. She wonders why he bothers; they're best is everyone else's average. Anyway, now it was safe to open doors to unflooded rooms. Galahad had trouble getting out of his boat (which Percival had no idea anyone brought in there, or why) so he could locate the security room. On the way there, they gathered all of the originals, except Lancelot for obvious reasons, and Galahad for unknown and worrying reasons. As they walked past the well of blood, the inquisition division was blocking it off, stating "All swimming and diving in said pool of blood could make you fatally retarded." When they got into the security room, they began rewinding the tapes.

"What do you think happened?" The original Gawain asked.

"He probably was trying to take over the whole facility, linked their minds, and then found Sonic's porn collection." Lamorak snarkily remarked.

Gawain shook his head. "I wonder when you will realize your life is not a porn movie."

Lamorak opened his big mouth again. "Well one fifth of the whole place agrees with my theory; oh wait, one FOURTH!"

"Is this seriously what you higher ups talk about all day." The security Galahad asked boredly.

"Shut up and watch the video!" Percival ordered. "... Shazbots..."

With her word, all eyes turned to the security footage. It had no audio, which was annoying. It looked normal enough; the lobby area had some people sitting around, watching news broadcasts, talking, and just passing by. This continued for about fourteen seconds, when the door began to shake back and forth. It apparently created a loud slamming noise with each shake, leading the viewers to believe it was being banged on. The Lancelot closest cautiously withdrew his sword and made his way to the door under the noise. With one swift movement, Lancelot swung the door open with left and held his weapon with his right. He was then slapped by tweleve green hands from behind the doorway, sending him flying to the ground outside the office of command. Then, the monster revealed itself.

It was a green hedgehog, with shockingly only two arms, with red bangs over his eyes, which were about as red as his bangs. The two knights that were sitting there, talking, stood and withdrew their weapons, watching this strange creature. He began making his way over to their comrade, and the first knight, the original Galahad, began following him, flicking around daggers. As this being Percival had now identified as Ganja da Hedgehog, a legend told by Sonic to had never existed, stood over Lancelot's stunned body, and Galahad getting ready to cut his neck and stab him in the back, something happened. The video footage, which had no audio, emitted an almost deafening noise.

"DERP"

As this hedgehog derped, he sent out an amazing force, turning Lancelot inside out, blowing back the other unidentified knight, and sending Galahad out of the front door. On another monitor, Galahad was seen flying at a high angle from the base's entrance, outward from the undisclosed location, across the vast ocean next to it, and out of sight. The target then began laughing, charging through a hallway, laughing in an insane and retarded manner.

"... Ganja..." Percival breathed. The other knights turned their heads to her as she drew her sword. "I want that hedgehog dead, immediately!"

It was then a warhammer weilding Gawain came in with the annoying runt with his head caved in on his hammer.

"Oh that was fast."

"I'm good at that." He answered humbly.

Percival nodded. "Good. Here are my orders: Burn the corpse, lock the front door, get an eyeslit on it. If you don't mind, I have some file digging to do. If he denied Ganja's existence, what else did he mislead us on? There's probably a giant robot with the anagram BUTTPIRATE for all we know."

THE END

________

Long ago in a sector of Earth commonly known as Ancient Chun-nan, there was a tyranical dictator known as the Shadow Shogun. It was a sinister being that towered over the very mountaintops of the land and using his great strength and powerful dragon he enslaved the people and caused havoc across the land. However, there was one brave soul who was willing to defy all odds to take on the tyrant.

His name is: Joe Masushi

Though seeing as our budget isn't large enough to hire him, you'll have to settle for Espio the Chameleon. Him along with his trusted side kick, Charmy Bee, embark on an epic journey to rescue his love, the emperor's daughter who was at the time within the clutches of the Shadow Shogun. The two had manage to weave they're way into the shogun's citadel, and found themselves inside of the Shogun's throne room. Peeking from behind a corner, they could see the titanic warrior playing with the princess using his fingers, though sadly her beauty could not be seen from their view point. The shogun maniacally giggled as the princess cried for help.

"Charmy, I'm going to need you to stay as quiet as possible here, or we may not make it out of here alive." Espio ordered.

"Alright Espio, I'll try." he responded.

"Now what I want you to do is use all of the training I've given you and cause a distract the shogun." Espio ordered.

"Roger." Charmy replied before buzzing off towards the back of the giant as silently as possible, before finally he pulled a giant parade drum from behind his back and began banging it in the Shogun's ear. He wailed in pain and turned to find the source of the noice, but he found nothing. Seconds later the same sound began ringing in his other ear, and he danced in agony, until he accidently swatted the source. He turned to see Charmy on the ground and grabbed him by his tiny wings and raised him to eye level.

"What do you think you're doing in my domain?" The shogun asked in a booming voice.

Charmy squirmed at first before coming up with the most ingenious idea ever. "Well you see sir, you turn me on." Charmy said in a honest voice.

"What?" The shogun was dumbfounded by the remark

"You see, I have this fetish for ears, and seeing as yours are just so gigantic and beautiful that I couldn't help myself." Charmy said.

"Well I did do some ear modeling in my younger years." The shogun pridefully announced while showing off his gorgeous ears.

Charmy gasped in awe as he did it, and went on to ask "Would you mind if I cleaned them for you, I have my own Q-tip~" He said in a horny fanboy tone as he pulled a Q-tip larger than himself from behind him.

"Hmm, alright, anything to please a fan." The shogun said as he released charmy as he was allowed to go wild into the giant's ears, making sex noices as he did so.

"Great job, Charmy." Espio whispered before sneaking over towards the small house the Shogun had made for the princess. With all of the stealth that flowed through his body, he knocked over dishpans, stepped on ducks, and had even set off every alarm in the building, but thankfully the shogun couldn't hear over the sounds of his giggling and Charmy's horny moans. So Espio successfully made his way to the building. He entered the front door and quickly found the princess. He gazed at her suculent beauty and was completely frozen in awe.

"You better quit staring before you get brain damaged!" The princess commented in a masculine voice from behind her fan, though her jaws stuck out past her fan, being a crocodile and all. Her face was covered in white makeup and wore a fancy golden kimono. She was surprisingly bulky, quite tall, and if you haven't guessed yet is Vector in a dress.

"My dear princess, allow me the honor to escort you from the clutches of this madman." Espio said as he knealt to the ground.

"I don't know, aside from his trying to rape me every two seconds, this place isn't that bad. The food is so huge that I'll never starve, the castle is so big that I'll never run out, and the men are so big that it makes any other dick look unapetizing." The princess said as she lounged back.

"But princess, your father and everyone else from the kingdom is waiting for your safe return!" Espio responded.

"Uh, fine, I'll go back to the kingdom with you then." She forfieted. Espio happily grabbed her by the waist, causing her to cry in surprise, which caught the attention of the Shogun.

"Has something happened to my princess?" The shogun asked as he turned toward the house.

Thinking fast, Charmy flew back into the emperor's face. "You know, I do have another fetish..."

"Oh really, this should be fun!" The Shogun replied with glee.

As the two of them got freaky once more, Espio ran off while carrying the princess. Seeing as all of the traps scattered around the building were made for people of the shogun's size they were able to make their way through the base and outside into the mountains.

"Perfect, at this rate we'll have you home before sunrise." Espio said as the two ran off in the darkness of night. However, they were soon met by the shogun, who came crashing down in front of them while weilding twin blades.

"I'll be taking her back!" He said as he grabbed the princess and placed her inside of his crown, which also functioned as a small building.

"What happened to Charmy?!" Espio asked.

"Oh you mean your little friend? He told me that he had a foot fetish as a last ditch effort, but I could tell he was lying the second I took off my sock, so I left him in there to suffer for his lies."

"Espio, it stinks in here!" Charmy wheesed from inside the Shogun's sock.

"As for you, you shall pay dearly for what you have done tonight." The shogun roared at Espio. He then whistled into his fingers, causing a large dragon to fly out of his pants. It was long, and only had a single eye that dripped a unique white substance. It's head had a cone like shape, and its wings were nothing more than two adjacent balloons of air. It menacingly stared at Espio before spraying a river of its white, sticky liquid, which Espio was able to quickly dodge, however a small bit of it had gotten on Espio's foot, thus incasing it in a clear solid.

"Yes, my dear Sinep is a special dragon who is able to completely freeze my enemies. Soon you'll be another model in my collection." The Shogun laughed. Espio ran away to get some distance between him and the dragon, but Sinep was fast and loomed over Espio, firing shot after shot of gooey ice. Soon, Espio found himself backed into a corner, but when everything seemed to be at its worst, Sinep lost interest in Espio and turned away. Instead, it drove head first into a cavern of lava which was conveniently was in the shape of a giant vagina. As the dragon burned in agony and Espio stared in shock, the shogun took the opertunity to attack Espio by stabbing his giant sword into the ground Espio stood on. Espio was quick and leaped to the side and avoided the attack, and threw a barage of ninja stars toward the shogun's face, though they had little effect. Espio then noticed that the shogun was more focused on retrieving his sword from the ground, so Espio used the oppurtunity to free Charmy by cutting open the shogun's sock. The bee coughed and wheezed as he fell out, and clinged to Espio as he took in the fresh air.

"Thanks Espio, I though that I would die in there!" Charmy said.

"Don't thank me yet, we still need to find a way to get rid of this guy." Espio stated. As he said this the shogun finally retrieved his sword and turned towards the two heroes.

"HA! Now that I have my sword you two insects are as good as done!" The shogun laughed with pride, but a loud cracking sound caused all three of them to pause. They all looked down and noticed that the ground had cracked from where the shogun's sword had been pulled from, and the weight of the shogun only made the problem worse. Espio grabbed onto Charmy as the ground below them collapsed, as the shogun fell to his fiery doom at the Volcano's depths. The princess had managed to escape her prison as the shogun fell, and the two flew down to save her, and then made their way towards the kingdom. The trio were met by a festive crowd as they returned to the kingdom, and Espio and Charmy proudly escorted the princess to her home.

"Espio, Charmy, our kingdom is in debt to you for returning our princess. It is my honor to bestow upon you the kingdom's greatest honor." The emperor said as he gave each of them medallions made out of various things found in the princesses room, namely a chain made out of used dragon dildos and a large vibrator as the medal. Charmy was rather disgusted by the reward and quickly tossed it, but Espio gripped it with an intense love.

"We thank you, Emperor!" Espio stated allowed. The crowd cheered but were soon silenced by a loud knocking sound coming from outside the palace. Outside, the Shadow Shogun was bowing on his knees to the great Emperor. Many of the citizens were apalled by his appearance, leading to massive rioting and an angry mob surrounding him.

"How did he even survive?" Charmy asked.

"What brings you to my palace giant?" The emperor asked in a harsh tone.

"I have came to ask you if I may marry your daughter." The Shogun pleaded. A massive gasp filled the crowd.

"Never!" Espio spoke up above the rest.

"After what you have done to my people, I think not!" The emperor retorted.

"But sir, I love her." The Shogun continued to plead. Booing and hisses could be heard throughout the crowd and the citizens began to close in on him.

"Wait!" Everyone paused as the princess came down the imperial steps. "Daddy, I love him!" Even more gasps filled the air and as everyone quieted down the munching of popcorn could be heard.

"But Princess, that beast nearly killed you and everyone else!" The emperor said.

"No, he took care of me, sure at times he was a bit rought but he made sure that I was always happy!" She yelled. "And seeing as it will be my marriage, I feel that I deserve to choose my groom."

"Yes, but you do understand that once you marry, that thing would become emperor!"

"And he'd be the best fucking emperor that you will ever see!" She yelled.

"Fine, as long as he promises to rule this kingdom with the same respect that I have given my people, he may marry my daughter."

"I do sir!" The shogun replied.

"Then it is settled then, my daughter is getting married!" The emperor announced with some reluctance in his tone. The crowd replied with half hearted cheers and dissapproving moans. So within the next few days, the princess and the shogun got married and the Shogun took his place as emperor. He ruled as a benevolent and protective ruler, and he alone defeated any army that attempted to take over. Everyone was happy, and the kingdom lived on in harmony, except for Espio, who dedicated his life to killing the new emperor, though this soon lead to him getting stuck inside of the royal dinner, and I think you can figure out the rest.

________

Mr. Awesomest was spending his time how he usually spends his time; with a dozen youtube videos loaded waiting for each to load, when he hears ruckus from outside the door, slowly approaching.

"FUCK THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR, I need a break." Xenos said as he faceplanted into the floor.

Awesomest leaned over from the computer seat, looking at Xenos, and then toward the doorway.

A shadowy figure kicked the door open. It appeared to be wearing a white lab coat. A deep voice began to speak. "PREPARE YOURSELVES MEN, WE'VE GOT A DISEASE OUTBREAK."

A closer inspection revealed this was Cola using some ridiculous device to make his voice sound much deeper. After taking it off and throwing it at Cero, he jumped up onto a table, which he promptly fell off of.

"SHIT PICKLES", the enraged teenager yelled. "WHO WAS MESSING WITH MY TABLE"

"What are you talking about? Why are you being insane?"

"NUSRE XENOS, WE'VE GOT A DRAGON FLU OUTBREAK IN SECTOR 12 COME WITH ME"

Cola yanked Xenos out the door and walked into the Mario Kart from Chapter 4. Xenos was suddenly dressed in a humiliating nurse's outfit.

"DOCTOR COLA, PhD, IS IN THE HOUSE" Cola yelled as he stepped on the gas an drove away.

Sockdrawer and Cero looked out the window, dumbfounded, while Awesomest continued watching a playthrough of a game called the "Stanley Parable" whilst multi-tasking to an extreme.

"You'll get used to it." Awesomest said. "Now, what's a 7 letter word for a dead body?"

"....Erm...Uh...Carcass?"

"Doesn't fit right. Ah! I got it! Ca-dav-er. Cadaver!"

"...I never heard of that before, by the way, WHY THE HELL am I dressed like this?" He said, looking down at himself. He was dressed in a suit of armor, modeled after a maid outfit.

Awesomest glanced over, and shrugged, as he went back to the etherpad.

"....Okay, first, I'm nurse. Now, I'm a super hyper fighting maid. I look like a gay 'Oreo' with this thing."

Awesomest chuckled as he wrote out what Xenos was saying onto the pad. "Go change, then. You have other clothes than that, right?"

"Yeah...what I usually wear..." He jumped into the closet as shuffling and shoving was heard from inside. As he eventually came out with his usual attire.

Which was a suit of armor modeled after a maid outfit.

".....Stop, playing with me. If you want to see someone crossdressing, ask Cola, I'm sure he'd be more than willing." He grumbled to himself silently.

"Okay, okay, fine." Awesomest laughed. "I'll change it."

"Hurry and do it."

Okay, I lied. He was actually wearing a black hooded coat, black pants with a buckle with a humongus question mark belt buckle, and white fingerless gloves with black question marks on them.

"There ya go."

"Thank you, besides, I can help people without looking like a Tranny, Cola."

"Shut up, it's more entertaining that way."

"I wonder if I should join in on this." Cero thought to himself as he awkwardly sat off to the side.

"I'm trying to get used to doing that." Awesomest said, casually working on the etherpad. A moment later, he added something he thought was a bit needed. "As in adding single sentences after paragraphs to essentially change the meaning of the paragraph prior."

"So like, wasn't there armegeddon happening outside right now?" Xenos asked, checking what was supposed to be the planet they lived on outside. It was hell..in his mind anyway. "And we're in here, writing a fanfiction of an Anthropomorphic blue Hedgehog and his friends which nobody outside the fanbase recognizes anymore, in a plot that's somehow well put-together and respectable, but still crazy as all hell? While there is Armegeddon outside?"

"Dude that's wrong in like four different ways." Awesomest stated. "What Armageddon?"

".....Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little. But you have to admit, this is a strange disease."

SockDrawer sighed and glanced over at Xenos. "I don't see what's so big about this dragon flu stuff. I've had it my entire life, and look how I turned out!" He then farted, setting the couch on fire, and fainted while his skin started to peel off.

Xenos looked at Sock for a moment, before facing the floor in shame. "This planet is fucked." He regretted it, but he put out the fire after letting it burn for a little longer with a giant bucket.

Awesomest swung up from his chair. "Help me drag him outside. The shorter the flu is in here, the safer we are."

Xenos shrugged, nodding in agreement. "But, I'm already a scalie. What do I have to lose?" SockDrawer nodded. "I concur."

"Oh, in that case, you get him out."

He grumbled, "Why do I open my big mouth..." The young enigma grabbed Sick Sock by the leg and headed out the door, dragging him. Eventually he stopped once they were a good distance away from the house, in the community park.

"So uh, I guess since I might spread the disease over to Awesomest by accident, I'm stuck with you Socky."

":3" SockDrawer's face contorted into an expression best described-

THROUGH SONG.

"....Don't, You, DARE..."

Awesomest looked out the window, and his eyes lit up at Sock's incoming shenanigans like a five year old on Christmas morning.

"... Is this the real life?"

"I really have to pee~" retorted Sock.

"...Is that supposed to, be my problem ex-act-a-ly~...?" Xenos blinked, not sure what to expect from the crazed disease dragon(?)

While the two sang the wrong lyrics yet nailed their parts of Bohemian Rhapsody, Awesomest walked away from the window, and found himself back in the COMPUTER ROOM where they typed the story. There, Cero was petrified because he was not in the pad by the time of Mr. Awesomest was writing this. He stuffed ribbons behind his pants, shoes, and shirt, and carried him by the back of his shirt and his pants and brought him to the roof top, preparing to send him across the sky like a flare at the right moment.

Xenos looked to see and squinted at the Rooftop, he blinked, and showed Sock. "Ooopen your eeyes, look up to the skies, and seeee~...." He pointed up.

After noticing there were cannons on the rooftop of the house (because seriously why not), Mr. Awesomest launched Cero into the skies, pulled out a laptop with the etherpad, and made him sing.

"I'M JUST A POOOR BOOOOOY~," Cero sang as an angelic choir chimed in for poor boy. "I NEED NO SYMPATHY~"

Cola chimed in as he stabbed multiple people with syringes holding the antidote, "BE-CAUSE I'M EASY COME, EASY GO; LITTLE HIGH, LITTLE LOW~"

"ANYWAY THE WIIIND BLOWS, DOESN'T REALLY MAAATTER TO MEEEEEEEE~" The chorus of authors sang.

"Tooo meeeeeee..." Mr. Awesomest sang, looking up at the starry night sky. He went back inside, and got on the computer.

Although I love Queen, ENOUGH GOD DAMN SINGING. And with that, everyone's mouths vanished. And then reappeared.

If the authors wouldn't mind, I'm sure you, the reader, would like to actually get some of the story now.

BACK IN THE REALITY WE HAVE FULL CONTROL OF...

BUT SUDDENLY, DOORS LOCK, SIRENS WAIL, AND FOR SOME REASON WE ARE PREVENTED FROM ACTUALLY ADVANCING THE STORY

"WHAT?! FUCK! THIS CAN'T BE GO-AAAAAAGH", Cola yelled as he realized that control of the story was falling out of their grasps. He had also been bitten by Sockdrawer, who promptly recieved an antidote in the forehead.

"Ha haha hahaha, ha haha ha..." A sinister voice from no where in particular laughed.

"Wait, What the hell is going on now...?"

"I AM TAKING CONTROL OF THE DRUM MACHINE." The now somewhat robotic voice said, as Aphex Twin music began playing in the backgorund

"Who is that?!" Xenos looked around frantically, he was a panicy person.

Not me, Mr. Awesomest wrote (which everyone else could read via laptops or PDAs or some weird shit like that).

"Well shit!", Cola exclaimed as he stabbed the last infected person with the antidote. "I'm slowly turning into a scaly mythical lizard because of the unnaturally powerful strain Sock gave me, Awesomest is locked in a room, Xenos ate Socks, Cero is in Antarctica, and some insane lunatic is taking over our story!"

"So who..?"

Mr. Awesomest looked around the room he was in. It was the control room, where they wrote the stories. Supposedly, only they had the links to the etherpad where it all was created. There was no one else in there.

I dunno, man. Awesomest wrote in response to Xenos.

"I-I'm... Scared. What are we gon-BLEAAAGH", Cola said as he started vomiting uncontrollably.

"UAGH! That's disgusting..!" Xenos moved back as quickly as he could. "Why are you puking?"

"I dunno...", Cola said as he wiped the puke off. "Could it be that gu-BLEAAAGH"

Cola fell over, writihing in pain.

Mr. Awesomest began attempting to unlock the doors by typing in the pad, but to no avail.

"I am afriad you don't have nearly the power you think you have." The voice said, now calm. The music from before had faded. "Go ahead, play with those controls all you like; the real controls are where I'M sitting."

How about I break my foot off in your ass, Awesomest threatened the seemingly imaginary voice in their heads that held immense power in reality. As he was doing so, he closed the tab of Aphex Twin music he was listening to.

"I second that notion." Xenos nodded in agreement.

Awesomest decided to tell his friend a bit of a game plan, so to speak. You go for the asshole on his face that the more refined bullshit comes out of, I'll aim for the cleaner asshole between his legs, he wrote.

Cola continued to vomit, setting trees on fire in the process. Small, shiny scales had sprouted all over his body. A case of Dragon Flu this bad would usually cause death. Followed by spontaneous combustion. That is not a good thing. The sounds of his puking and the trees burning mixed togethter to form a sort of musical tune.

Xenos smirked slyly. "You certainly have a way with words, huh?"

"Now, I don't want to kill you, not yet; I have so much in store for the future." The voice said. "I just decided to let you all know, that you have no control. You will play into my hands, no matter what you do. Good day."

There was a short pause as the voice stopped talking. Mr. Awesomest tried unlocking the door to the COMPEWTER ROOM, and it opened. So then he wrote the following:

Cola's dragon flu was, for the most part, ejected in a successful campaign by his immune system through his mouth. It would not kill him, but it was still God Damn Dragon Flu.

"Nice try, but that won't work.", the voice thundered.

Robotic cunts, Mr. Awesomest calmly wrote in the pad.

"Cola? Have you stopped puking out intestines?" Xenos looked over to his sick friend.

"I think so...", Cola moaned. "But, I can't be su-AAAAAAGH"

Flames shot out of his mouth before he could finish his sentence.

"Oh, that's so fun," The voice sighed in delight. "Here, let me do it again." A moment later, he giggled as his goal was achieved.

Xenos tapped his chin several times, contemplating what to do. "Hmmm...maybe we could plug his mouth...? Nah..."

What mouth? Awesomest asked. He has two assholes. One he talks out of.

"Good point, but saying plug his ass is a bad ide- Goddamnit."

Cola stared at Xenos with a gaze that could pierce one's soul. Only it didn't.

"Don't look at me like that, I'll throw an exploding Ace card at your forehead."

Cola began, "I'll talk in your fa-AAAAAAAAGH"

Xenos quickly dodged the next oncoming Pukestorm, planning to not smell like a sewer..and be fried crispy. "Is there any medicine for throwing up...?"

Cola shook his head. Reptilian features were sprouting up all over his body due to the intensity of the infection and the mysterious voice's tampering with the story.

"Well, since I'm already reptillian, couldn't I like...reverse the effects of the disease somehow?"

"I don't think so.", Cola said. He had some sort of helmet on his head, and he dragged out the whiteboard.

"See, due to the intensity of my infection; the fact that your species and Dragons, while closely related, are not compatible; and because of the disembodied voice that has been tampering with the story, plus the fact that you have no medical experience whatsoever, makes the disease uncurable until we regain control of the story. And I'm pretty sure that the voice wants me to suffer, because this is very, very painfu-AAAAAGH". Cola was screaming due to the heat created warming the helmet up to searing hot temperatures.

Xenos grimaced at the next wave of cries from Cola. "I-I see!" He quickly tried pulling the helmet off himself.

Dude, what do you want? Awesomest typed.

"One of my motives is to make you suffer.", the voice boomed. "Another is because I'm having so much fun writing this."

How about you go torture Hamburger Helper instead of us, Awesomest suggested. Do something good for Bioware.

"But why Cola? He's probably the last person you could torture!"

"The last person I could torture? Oh, look at him already. Already suffering." The voice pointed out. "And he won't be the last, for sure... And that idea actually sounds decent..."

"How much can you make him possibly puke in one chapter...?"

"Oh, watch."

Cola felt a churning in his stomach. As if a portal had opened from a plane of vomit and hell fire inside his gut, and was slowly entering his system. The pressure rose in his insides, and then...

"...Fuck me. Why did I open my big mou-"

Xenos was englufed in a sea of firey, burning hot vomit. Cola's teeth flew out of his mouth and landed in Xenos' face. The force of the vomit and fire escaping from Cola's mouth had sent him airbourne, flying across the night sky, and in the direction Cero was headed when Awesomest threw him a while back.

Awesomest could hold back his thoughts, and began to type. Holy shit that is hilarious.

"Ahaha, well, I think I'm done for now." The voice said. "For real, this time. Your Xenos friend has burns on... hmm, let's say, 98% of his body. His genitals are alright, I believe."

GIT OFF MAH PROPERTAY, Awesomest wrote.

After a notably long silence, Aweomest decided to test if the voice had taken his advice, and really went to bother some actually bad authors, including but not limited to Hamburger Helper.

Cola stopped spewing uncontrollable amounts of barf and flames somewhere over the equator.

...

It seems to have worked.

AND THEN A GIANT CERO STATUE CRUSHED EVERYONE (In his head, in which he lived in a wonderland where he believed he held immense power.), NOW BACK TO THE MAIN STORY!!!!

CHAPTER 8 (WHICH WAS BEFORE THIS, UNRELEASED!)

Features a rap battle, done entirely by me.

CHAPTER 8

"TELL ME DOCTOR," Sonic rang out while leaning on the almost completed time machine crafted in the shape of a DeLorean, powered by Time Stones (which Eggman was GOING to use in his next evil genius plan but oh well), which was created in about an hour. The time was 10:02 PM. "WHERE ARE WE GOIN' THIS TIME!?"

Blaze glared at Sonic, visibly annoyed. "Will you spare us the singing, please?" Sonic shrugged, and complied.

"Okay, it is DONE!" Eggman cheered. "One marvelous and innovative invention that is revolutionary in the world of science, complete with a BITCHIN' look, all thanks to the greatest mind on the planet: Me! Doctor IVO RRRRRO-"

"Yeah yeah whatever." Sonic interrupted Eggman's ego speech. "Let's DO THIS THING."

"Hmph." Eggman grumbled. "Well, for that attitude, I'm driving."

"SHOTGUN." Sonic blurted before Blaze could react.

"Dammit!" The slow cat cursed.

The gang got into the Delorean, and the clock struck 10:03. Eggman was in the driver's seat, Sonic in the passenger, and Blaze in the back.Blaze was the only one to buckle their seatbelt.

"Alright, let's g-Sonic what are you doing." Eggman asked as he watched Sonic hook up the radio to something. It showed to be an MP3 player. Instantly knowing where this was going, he shook his head. "No. No no no."

"Well too bad." Sonic said, as he began to play The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News from the car speakers.

Apalled by Sonic's taste in music, Eggman set the machine's simple to use target time to one day prior. Eggman started the car, and began driving.

With agonizingly slow acceleration.

This kills the hedgehog.

"Holy fuck." He said blankly. "Are you serious."

The Doctor was confused. "What?"

"GO EIGHTY EIGHT ALREADY GODDAMMIT!" Sonic exploded. "LET ME IN THERE, YOU FRIGGIN'..." With the help of the Convieniency Plot Device, Sonic hoisted Eggman out of his seat and threw him into the passenger seat, taking his spot in the process. "For a guy that gets away from me in a personally built mobile to fit your behind, you were going so slow."

Eggman would not let his position go uncontested. "GIVE ME MY SEAT BACK YOU LITTLE RODENT!"

Sonic was already flooring it as Eggman threw a relentless horde of wussie slaps at him. In response, he quickly buckled his seatbelt, and covered his face.

"... Guys." Blaze spoke up. Neither of the rivals heard her over the sound of a revving engine and the plapping wapping sound of slapping. The car reached fifty miles an hour. "GUYS!" She screamed in order to try to get their attention.

At that moment, Sonic slammed the brakes.

Eggman flew into the control panel, Blaze got the wind knocked out of her, whilst Sonic simply sat there smiling. "And that's why you wear your seatbelt, kids." He said. As he finished telling you to wear your damn seatbelt, he put the pedal to the metal and got up to sixty before anyone said anything.

"SONIC!" Blaze screamed.

"Yeah?" Sonic asked, not slowing down. Seventy miles an hour.

"I thought that your scruffle with Eggman messed with the controls, putting it one year ahead," Blaze began. Eighty. "but NOW WE'RE GOING TWO HUNDRED FUCKING YEARS INTO THE FUTURE!"

The spedometer struck 88, the clock struck 10:04, and flames scorched the road they would have been if they hadn't went forward through time.

TWO HUNDRED YEARS INTO THE FUTURE...

The DeLorean blasted into reality, bouncing upon large rocks and debris on the streets. There was lava, fire, and crumbled sections of buildings everywhere. There was also something happening right behind them too. Sonic looked in the mirror to see two people (which he wasn't focused on) running from a giant flame monster that is chasing them through the ruined city.

"YOU DON'T NEED MONEY, DON'T TAKE FAME~," Huey Lewis sang as the trio of time travelers blasted into the apocolyptic future. "DON'T NEED NO CREDIT CARD TO RIDE THIS TRAIN!"

"SON OF A BITCH!" They all shouted in unison. Sonic broke a hundred miles an hour, swerving past mounds of debris and gysers of lava, and with two PLUNK noises of the two people fleeing from this giant monster jumping onto the roof, Sonic decided to swerve onto a different street. With practiced expertise, Sonic swung the wheel and hit the brakes, sending the car at a wide arc, and flooring it down a different road. Sonic seemed unsuccessful at sending whoever was on the roof off, and the monster turned around the corner and continued to chase.

"Blaze, check the roof." Sonic ordered as he drove.

She did want to stick her head out the window, so she tried looking through the back windshield. "Can't, the machine is in the way."

"THEN LOOK OUT THE WINDOW LIKE A NORMAL PERSON-"

"Sonic, guns exist."

"You're such a pussy, you kno-AH FUCK MY HEAD IS ON FIRE"

Sonic began to lose control of the car. It yawed back and forth, until it slammed into the pillar of a building. This pillar seems to also support the entire building. As they hit it, it broke slightly, but still held. They began spinning and sliding across the dusty asphalt. Taking the opportunity, Sonic rolled down the window so the wind going into the car could blow the fire on his head out. Suddenly, an previously immobile car was violently launched by an unseen force the other side of the street into the pillar, destroying it.

"EXTREME JENGAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Sonic cried out as he swerved the car to a stop, looking out the window at the building coming tumbling down on the monster trailing them. "Woo! That was awesome!"

"Sonic, why couldn't we just...I dunno...GET OUT OF THE CAR SO WE CAN USE YOUR SPEED TO ESCAPE?!" Eggman persisted.

"And trash your time machine? Yeah no doc. I know it's slower, but gotta have priorities." Sonic retorted. "It also opens up opportunities for things like what we just did, RIGHT PASSENGERS?"

As Sonic finished his sentence, he slammed the ceiling of the car, and opened the raising door. As Sonic quite literally hopped out, the others opened their doors.

Sonic walked from under the door and into view of those on the roof, with his back to them. "So, who were the hitchhikers that decided to, well..." Sonic turned around, looking at them. "...wat."

Eggman and Blaze backed from the car and looked onto the roof. On it, was Silver.

And Blaze.

"AND IT DON'T TAKE MONEY~, IT DON'T TAKE-"

Eggman tore the MP3 player from the car, stopping the music he despised so much.

"Dear God, Sonic what is with your musical taste...? And why do you look so shocked?" Eggman pondered about the Hedgehog.

"Well, to put it simply, Silver and Blaze are up there." Sonic said dryly.

"...You mean, there are 2 Blazes..?"

"Pretty much."

Eggman glanced over at Blaze, as she seemed to not be very worried about their conversation. "If they see each other, wouldn't that cause a time paradox?" Eggman asked.

"I guess."

Eggman grumbled. "So what are we going to sit around and wait until they would like a seat with us...?"

"...I GUESS." Sonic answered the same thing again.

"...Very well, so be it. But if the Universe explodes because of you, I won't be the spirit to tell you why." Eggman reassured Sonic.

"Erm..." Silver stammered shyly. He was confused. But the girl next to him knew what to do when she met eyes with her other self.

Sol Princess Blaze withdrew her Vorpal Blade, whilst the Wayward Vagabond Blaze withdrew her Trusty Knife.

"THERE CAN ONLY BE ON-"

"WAIT WAIT WAIT!" Sonic shouted, getting in between them. "Let's NOT kill each other, for now, and try to work this out, alright?"

They sheathed their weapons. "Okay."

"I'm going to ask both of you questions. Answer them truthfully." Sonic turned to the Blaze next to him. "Did you have amnesia?"

"No."

He turned. "Did you?"

"No."

Sonic smiled and nodded. "It's settled, I don't know what the fuck is going on here. Get off my car."

"It's MY car!" Eggman corrected.

"Our car." Sonic reiterated.

Silver complied silently. The vagabond Blaze had to ramble as she did, though. "You know, I don't get it. Silver goes back all the time to try to assassinate you, who APPARENTLY ruined the world-"

"Not this again," Silver groaned.

"Quiet. How can he do all this time shit but when I get a chance for some, you guys say "NO DON'T DO IT"?"

"Yeah?" The Blaze that had been wandering with Sonic and Eggman agreed.

Eggman adjusted his suit. "Because it will cause a paradox and destroy TIME ITSELF."

There was a moment of silence as everyone looked at each other. And then:

"FUCK THAT THEORY."

Both of the Blaze's then simutaniously slapped each other across the face.

Nothing happened.

"You see?" The future Blaze said. "Nothing. Now quit saying time is something you can change. We would know, or at least the time cop over here should."

Silver stammered back. "Hey, I never was supposed to be a Time Wizard or some crap like that, sheesh. Besides, I'm pretty sure you'd need a stronger collision than that for anything to happen."

Vagabond Blaze scoffed. "Well, good thing you're not a Time Wizard, you don't know how it works."

Princess Blaze shook her head at the two disagreeing friends, and turned to her friend, to find him doing something almost unreal to her.

Sonic was taking notes.

"What are you doing?!" Blaze jumped in shock.

Sonic rose from behind the notepad. "Erm, just..." Sonic shoved the booklet and pencil behind his back. "...sciencing."

"But why?" The cat asked once again.

Sonic shrugged. "Oh, no reason, I mean it's not like I'm going to be USING any of this information on time travel in the future for any reason whatsoever. Hey, let's listen on what your future self is saying..."

Eggman held back a facepalm. "Sonic, let's make your true objectives and goals very obvious by stating them as not being obvious."

Before Sonic could tell him to shut up, a scream pierced the air.

"THOSE WERE NOT MURDER PRESENTS, YOU RACIST!"

"...The hell was that?" Sonic was the first to break the silence.

Oh, it was none other than Wayward Vagabond Blaze arguing with Silver of course.

"THOSE PEOPLE WERE ALL DEAD WHEN I GOT THERE, I SWEAR. Not EVERY cat is barbaric enough to KILL PEOPLE and LEAVE THEIR CORPSES NEAR PEOPLE."

"Erm," Sonic stammered. "Let's just get out of here."

"Wait." Said an unknown voice.

Sonic and friends turned to the source, to see, MEPHILES, THE HARBRINGER OF DOOM SYMBIOTE SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS whatever the fuck he is.

"OH GOD, THE ELDRITCH ABOMINATION, is...back?" Sonic blinked.

"I don't recall you two ever actually meeting..." Eggman lulled over it a bit, brushing his mustache.

"Exactly, you don't." Mephiles replied. "Because the memory was lost in your mind, and the event overwritten in history."

Sonic became alarmed. "Oh GOD, are you implying that that atrocious game actually happened?"

"What game?" Blaze asked.

"I'll tell you when you're older, young lady." Sonic assured.

"No." Mephiles answered. "It was... similar, but there were key differences. Such as, your influence upon the world."

At first, Sonic was relieved, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Phew, son of a bitch, that was close." But then he realized that they were still similar. "Wait, GOD DAMN IT."

"Precisely." Mephiles said. "It was essentially damned into nonexistance, because he was embarassed that he actually thought of that."

"Then why do you exist?" Eggman asked. "If the events were erased, shouldn't you have been erased as well?"

"I exist in your memories, which I am currently giving you." Mephiles explained.

"Then how did you come into existance when you had to give us the memories when we went into the future and you explained yourself to us?" Sonic complained.

"... I am Mephiles the Shapeshifter, not the Timelord."

"Whatever..." Sonic said. "...Wait, where the hell's is my talking sword?"

As Sonic turned to consult his friends, Mephiles had a sudden realization.

"... you rhymed with what I said..." Mephiles almost gasped.

MEPHILES THE DARK, VERSHUSH, SOOONIIIIC THE HEDGEHOOOOOOOOOOG

BEGIN

Sonic and his friends were staring at the demon with immense confusion. Suddenly, Mephiles roared in anger.

"I WAIT TWO HUNDRED YEARS FOR OUR NEXT RAP BATTLE, AND YOU START OFF ON MY LINE?" Mephiles screamed. "BITCH DON'T GET NEAR YOUR CAR, AND LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO RHYME!"

"Hey bro, that was a pretty weak rhyme." Sonic commented.

Realizing his error, Mephiles retorted in anger "SHUT YOUR MOUTH BITCH, BY THE END OF THIS I'LL MAKE YOU STAMMER!"

As Sonic began chuckling to his friends, Mephiles kept the tension on. "You'll be more scared of ME than that BITCH WITH THE HAMMER!"

Sonic's eyebrows were slanted in an agitated, almost paranoid expression. His eyes darted back and forth, before shaking it off and beginning his assault.

"Weeeell, look who hails from Crisis City,

and just like the place; damn, you ain't pretty.

My rhymes are smooth, sweet and witty,

and your rapping is gonna be downright shitty.

Look at this place, man, what the FUCK did you do?

I couldn't fuck a date up this bad, EVEN if I TRIED to.

Oh, don't run, I never told you to shoo.

Me kicking your ass is somethin' long overdue.

You got crystals on your head, it just shows us you're thick,

Silver couldn't crack it open, even with a brick.

But just so you know, you spiny-ass prick,

When I'm through with you, your head's on a stick!"

Mephiles growled. He stepped back and began his counteroffensive.

"You slur your words, and yet I am articulate,

You think rap is simply just a battle of wit.

My words have deep meaning, like a bottomless pit,

And your words are hardly even worth my spit.

The shadows of this world are hardly fleeting,

The world is in a giant shadow, objectively speaking.

This world is lit by the flames of seething,

It all began with the first Iblis' greeting.

You curse every other word you say

Because you don't know a better way.

You're as evil as I am, and I'll add if I may,

The demon in you will bring the Judgement Day."

Sonic scratched his head, confused.

"What? That was it? Man, I don't even know.

This is gonna be boring if that was your big show.

Man, to think I'm gonna be wasting these rhymes in tow.

And that last line... you call THAT a parting blow?

So you're calling me Dante? Hell yeah, that's awesome!

Dude I think you need to find some shapeshiftette and fucking get some.

There's rhymes aren't insults, and you're fucking dumb.

Man, will you just give up and say that you're done?

Dude you're so bad at this, you sould be ashamed.

You shouldn't have went up against someone with so much fame.

I mean, do you know how badly you'll be maimed

When I start having fun and rap with song names?"

Mephiles looked around. A crowd of Iblis minions had gathered around, and went "OOOOOH SNAP" in reaction to Sonic's licks.

"Oh don't kid yourself, may I ask why?

Oh why you'd want to risk it all, and have yourself die?

In your future, failure is all I spy,

And me standing there, over your corpse which lie.

I am the best thing to your meaningless existence,

Someone who can calm your reckless persistence.

I'm the poison and the cure, a holy pestilence,

From the nightmares you have, I'm the best thing since!

I'm the Alpha and the Omega, THE SINGULARITY,

With blood in my tracks, I'M INHUMANITY,

A dagger in your back, MY HOSPITALITY.

The thought of you revived that girl named Elise?

AHAHAHA,

HILARITY!"

The Iblis minions went wild with hundreds of "OOOOOH SHIT SOOOON"s and "aw hell naw nigga"s that damn near deafened Sonic. Even Blaze stung from that sick burn. Sonic himself was wearing a mixture of a pained and angered expression, his lower lip both protruding and quivering. His arms were trembling in hatred. Sonic swung around, and reached into Blaze's coat pocket, and withdrew the Vorpal Blade, and started advancing toward Mephiles, swinging it at the air.

"WHAT IF I WERE TO CUT YOU DOWN,

AND MAIL EACH PART TO A DIFFERENT TOWN?

TELL ME, FUCKHEAD, HOW DOES THAT SOUND?

YOU SEEM TO LIKE IT, CAUSE I DON'T SEE A FROWN!

YOU SON OF A BITCH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT

YOU THINK YOU'RE SMART, WELL BITCH I DON'T GIVE A FUCK

THINK YOUR ARTICULATE, BUT YOU'RE A DERANGED MUTT

I'M GONNA TEAR YOU UP, MOTHERFUCKER, YOU'RE ALL OUTTA LUCK

YOU'RE NOT ORIGINAL, ALL YOUR RHYMES ARE THE SAME,

YOU'RE A SHAPESHIFTER, NIGGA, YOU'RE A HUNDRED PERCENT LAME

AND HOW DO YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR, AND SEE YOURSELF THE SAME

WHEN YOUR ONLY APPEARENCE WAS IN THE WORST FUCKING GAME?"

Mephiles chuckled. "It seems you didn't-"

Sonic kicked Mephiles in the face.

"SHUT UP BITCH, I WASN'T DONE,

NOT BY A LONG SHOT, NOW'S TIME FOR THE FUN.

THESE BOOTS WILL STOP YOUR TALKIN', AND THAT'S JUST WHAT THEY'LL DOOO

RIGHT ABOUT NOW, THESE BOOTS ARE GONNA STOMP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU."

He smirked, and snapping his fingers to a beat that wasn't there. Suddenly, it kicked in, as Eggman began rockin' a drumset. There was apparently a turntable in the trunk as well, which Silver began playing around with, but quickly mastered.

I RAP LIKE A PRO, MOTHERFUCKER, I'VE LIVED AND LEARNED.

THE COLD HARD VICTORIES ARE THE THINGS THAT I'VE EARNED.

I'M GONNA OPEN YOUR HEART SO I CAN TEAR IT APART.

FORECLOSE ALL YOUR DREAMS AND TAKE YOU BACK TO THE START.

YOU ARE ALL OF YOU, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER, WITH ME.

WHAT I'M MADE OF IS ENDLESS POSIBILITY,

I'LL JUST REACH FOR THE STARS, AND I'LL SEND YOU FOR A WHIRL-"

"Because," Princess Blaze took it away. "Don't you know that this is HIS WORLD?"

The crowds exploded in applause, and Mephiles was devastated. Sonic did not stop, though. His friends joined in with him.

"EXCALIBAR!" Sonic shouted.

"It's not that far." Caliburn popped in.

"What do you make?"

"Give and take!" Vagabond Blaze chimed.

"Goin' home!"

"Time zone!" Princess Blaze filled in.

"CHECK IT OUT EGG-"

"He's never alone!" Eggman boasted.

"Leather 'n lace,"

"Get in place!" Silver rapped.

"DOOM ROOM, COSMIC ZOOM," They all said in unison.

Sonic charged at Mephiles, with his fist clenched

"HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR THIS-"

"SONIC BOOM!"

Sonic punched Mephiles skyward at a blinding speed. He was spiralling around in the air before he went out of sight with a little gleam. The crowds went absolutely batshit insane, and were slowly becoming obsessive with Sonic's slick licks.

Eggman looked around. "Erm... perhaps we should leave-"

He was conviently cut off by a time warp appearing.

"Sonic, I think thats our ride." Blaze said, looking straight at it.

"Oh, yeah, let's beat it, before these guys want my autograph." Sonic said, hopping in the Delorean. The other two only just managed to get in before the crowds of Iblis minion females covered the car, asking them to sign their pieces of rubble, their swords, their eldritch monstrocities that they were flashing at them, and so on. Sonic didn't have time for this, so he plowed through them and into the portal.

The time hole opened up and they all fell out. The issue was, they were 40 feet above the ground.

"SON OF A BIIIIIIIITCH", everyone yelled simultaneously as they fell to the surprisingly soft, grassy ground.

"Eggman, we're frienemies right now, but get your FAT. ASS. Off of me." Sonic growled.

"Okay, but tell your kitten to stop clawing off MY FACE first." Eggman grunted.

Blaze suddenly stopped her action, getting out of the pile. "I have no idea what 'clawing' you are refering to."

"Right." Both retorted.

Eggman stood. "Where are we, exactly? It seems familiar."

Sonic followed Eggman, standing as well. "Don't you remember? It's the zone Palmtree Panic." He nodded, looking around to reassure his claim.

"Oh, yes." Robotnik said, remembering the times he went by that name. "I remember now."

"But why here, of all places?" Blaze asked, cupping her chin with her index finger and thumb.

"I dunno, maybe because of all the crazy time shit that happened in this timeframe." Sonic stated, grabbing Blaze by the back of the neck, essentially paralyzing her, and dragging her along like a mannequin as he made his way to the Delorean. "Come on, before we mess up my victory here, let's go elsewhen in time."

Eggman looked at the dead-ish Blaze in some surprise. "Er...was that necessary?"

"Not at all, I just always wanted to do that." Sonic answered, opening the driver's door and tossing her over to the passenger's side. This letting go of Blaze's neck gave her the ability to move again.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NEVER FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN" Blaze exploded in rage.

Eggman went fridged as he got into the back seat slowly. "This is why I don't go near fire woman."

"Alright, when do we go now?" Sonic asked his friends.

"...Weren't you the one leading this entire time-screwing fiasco?" Eggman answered.

"And the damn-near raping a woman fias-"

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, fine jeez... say, how many Chaos Emeralds do we have?" Sonic wondered aloud.

"I think only one, but perhaps if you turn on that lucky plot device of yours, you could pull another out of your ass." Eggman stated.

"OKAY, let's do this." Sonic boomed, with gritty emphasis on the 'okay'. "Time to actually do something interesting, for once."

Sonic slammed his foot on the gas pedal. In seconds, he was over fifty miles an hour. He hopped over a gap, and in front of him then was a towering cliff, with a quarterpipe at the bottom. Sonic went even faster and tore up the cliffside. But at about halfway there, he began slowing down, and turned on the radio, where the radio DJ was talking about the temperature.

"-Iiiiit's HOT! Y'know, this heat can really drive you crazy..."

Sonic reached out the window, and managed to catch a decently sized rock. He brought it back into the car, and placed it on his stomach.

"... so if you're behind the wheel somewhere, please keep a cool head..."

At this point, the car was getting close to a complete stop. Sonic turned around, presenting a view about a hundred feet straight down the cliff they just rode up, as the talkshow host finished talking. Blaze was shaking in the backseat.

"... be careful, and drive safely!"

As the drums of The Cardigans' My Favorite Game kicked in, Sonic slammed the rock on the gas, putting the pedal to the metal. The Delorean went jettisonning down the cliffside, and Sonic began headbanging to the song. Blaze would have cowered in fear if the whiplash of the car speeding didn't enfeeble her. Eggman was too fat to move a muscle with such tension, and Sonic stuck his legs out the rolled down window. He took out the Golden Plot Device, and pecked it with his lips.

"~I don't know what you're looking foooor~," Sonic sang along, turning off the auto-time travel at eighty-eight miles an hour so he could go as fast as he wanted to. "~You haven't found it, baby, that's for sure..."

Sonic was at one hundred fourty as he hit the quarterpipe again. He withdrew his legs from the outside and brought them in before contact. He bent down, lifted the rock from its place, and put both his feet there. He then threw the rock out the window.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOIIIIING" Blaze screamed, almost about to strangle him.

"Some men just gotta go fast." Sonic responded calmly as the car rocketed off the ramp at one hundred seventy miles an hour. At the peak of the jump, roughly seventy feet off the ground, Sonic flipped the switch to turn on the time travel. The machine disappeared, leaving flaming tire tracks in the air.

IN THE PAST (well, less in the past than Sonic CD. Like, Present minus 24 hours)

The Delorean nearly drove off another cliff onto the beach. Instead, it soared over aforemntioned cliff like plane in a dog fight, and it landed on this beach. Its sand was well pact and good for driving. Instead of blasting down the beach with such extreme speed, he thought he'd slow down to a calm seventy miles an hour so his friends could catch their breath, also so the tires wouldn't melt from the awesomeness of his stunts and speed.

"So," Blaze began, breathless. "Was that the "something interesting" you wanted to do?"

"Nah, that's just how I commute." Sonic laughed.

"So, where are we headed this time?" Eggman asked.

Sonic thought for a moment. "Maybe we can follow Tails? See what he was up to?"

...

Tails sat in his computer, staring at the screen. He was checking the websites he usually frequents before he went out into the city. What he did not know, was that he was being watched...

In the tree, Sonic, Blaze and Eggman watched the fox. Sonic had binoculars, and was looking at the screen, on which a kid overreacted to eating something whilst shouting "BLUH".

"Fucking Homosuck." Sonic groaned. "Kid's obsessed with it, I swear. Read thousands of pages of it, and I swear I saw a pair of horns somewhere in that messy room of his. Sure, I did to, but when it started explaining the mating patterns of an alien species is when I gave up."

"Sounds weird." Blaze said.

"It's HIS opinion, Sonic." Eggman chastized.

Sonic realized something.

"Wait a minute, Eggman, how are you up here, the branch didn't brea-"

SNAP

"It's funny because he's fat." Sonic chuckled.

"Always the fatass," Blaze added.

At that moment the duo realized that whole branch fell down, leaving them in midair.

"... FU-"

In a moment they slammed onto Eggman's gelatanious belly. Sonic rose quickly.

"Crap, that had to have gotten Tails' attention." Sonic deducted. "Quick! To the CAMOFLAUGED DELOREAN!"

At that point, the trio jumped into the camoflauged Delorean, which was hidden by having a twig taped onto the hood and a sign written "I'M A TREE" was tied to the front.

"How do you actually expect this to work." Blaze asked Sonic, who was now wearing a bandana and his blue fur had taken on a woodland camo pattern.

"IT WORKED FOR BIG BOSS." Sonic growled in a gruff tone. "WHY WOULDN'T IT WORK FOR A DELOREAN?"

"Because even if I stand miles away, I can still tell that's a fucking car."

"Well you're not of this world. Our rules are different."

"Are you implying most of this world are idiots?"

"Girl, look at the genius in the backseat."

"HEY!"

Suddenly, the door opened.

Why it's a Generic Policeman. The Generic Policeman is holding an equally generic donut. Because all policemen eat donuts.

"Is this some kind of joke." Said the Generic Policeman, in a tone so irritated it did not come off as a question.

"Oh, um, yes." Sonic lied. "Yes it is."

"Tomorrow is the Extremely Awesome Joke Cars...Contest, and this is my entry. As you can see, my car is so awesome that it can defy the minds of all who come across it, making them believe it to be a tree. And, we're going to be testing it on my friend here."

"Oh. Good luck then."

The Generic Policeman left, and then floated into the sun, because we're never going to use his character again.

Tails opened the door to his workshop, and looked around. After a moment (read: one second), Tails spotted the car.

"Sonic?" Tails asked, confused. "What are you... Blaze!? How did you- And is that Eggman I see in the ba-"

Grinning, Sonic flipped a switch. The switch opened the hood of the Delorean, and underneath the hood was a catapult. The hood opening launched the catapult's contents at Tails. But what was to be fired at the two tailed fox?

The Tails Doll.

Sonic quickly bent over to Blaze. "Don't worry, it's not the real one." He whispered.

The doll landed on Tails' torso, making a squeak and pathetically tumbling to the floor.

"Oh my GAAUAAAAUGUGHAAAGHHAAAAAA"

Tails' arms flailed around madly while he turned and ran, left, toward Station Square.

The entire car was silent for a moment.

"... I can't believe that worked." Blaze shook her head, dumbfounded.

"OKAAAY," Sonic growled, lifting his finger. "TIME TO GIVE CHASE."

Pressing another button, the car began to don another diguise. From under the hood, a giant cardboard box came and unfolded itself over the car. Sonic drove the Box-Car after Tails.

HOURS LATER...

It was a beautiful day in Station Square. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Sonic was taking a nice slow walk to the grocery store. Ironic, huh? Tomorrow was Tails' birthday, and Sonic was going to get supplies for the suprise party. He wanted to make it awesome, and make sure nothing went wrong. And make sure that you didn't have to read the dreaded opening scene twice in this story.

Currently, Sonic and pals were parked outside the warehouse, a couple hours before what happened there happened. "Jesus Christ what is going on." Sonic flatly said in morbid fascination as he looked through the cardboard slits of the massive box encasing the car, which concealed them perfectly in the streets. The homeless are suprisingly abundant in Station Square. It also helped there was another car with a giant box over it across the street.

"Who the hell would use a cardboard box as a stealth device?" Eggman asked.

"A genius, that's who." Sonic answered. "As a matter of fact, when this is through, you better check every cardboard box you see. I might be there."

Twuk twuk twuk.

"Uh, hullo?" Said a dumb voice from outside the box. His powerful fist slammed against its side.

"Oh god everyone shut up." Sonic whispered. The blue hedgehog could feel beads of sweat start pouring from his pores as he took a breath in.

"No one's in the box." Sonic told.

The ignorant dumbell on the other side turned around. "Welp, you heard the box, Rockay. No one's in da box."

"YA MOTHAFUCKIN' COCKHEAD!" A voice with an unmistakable Australian accent exploded. "Take de box offa da car or ah'll take yer head offa yer neck."

"He might actually do that, yaknow." A third man with a Brooklyn accent chimed.

Slowly and reluctantly, the dumb lackey turned around.

Sonic looked over at his friends. "Guys, when I tear out of here, should I drive onto the sidewalk or the street?"

But it was too late. The box had been lifted off of the car.

"OI ROCKAY, IT'S BLONIC!" Bark the Polar Bear shouted.

"Well wouldya lookit that!" Bean the Duck shouted. "Nice car, Sonic. It would be a SHAME if anything happened to it-"

"Pipe down, ye insufferable cunts." Fang the Sniper growled. "Listen, you blokes gotta come with us."

"And why should we do that?" Sonic said rebeliously whilst sticking his nose into Fang's.

"Some serious shit's about to go down, and Mighty thinks you could be of use." Fang explained.

"Trust him, Sonic." Said Big in an exquisite manner.

Sonic had only just noticed the round puprle cat. "Uh, Big? What?"

"Oh my god it's uncle Big." Blaze gasped.

"Uncle?" Eggman asked.

"Yes, yes." Big nodded.

"How exactly is that even possible?" Sonic asked, dumbfounded.

"Well you see, during my travels I've been to many places, the Arabian Nights, Arthurian Legends, and so on. At some point I managed to convince my brother, Katz, to visit the Sol Dimension with me. He fell in love, and the rest is history." Big stated.

"I think these guys check out, Sonic." Blaze assured him. "I mean I've dealt with australian wannabes before, their loud and obnoxious, but trustworthy. Plus my uncle would rip them all to shreds before they could even a harm a hair on my pretty little head."

"I dunno." Sonic said reluctantly.

Fang was about to pull a submachine gun from his bottomless furpocket in which he kept his weapons, but Big simply lifted a hand. He bent down to Sonic's eyelevel, and spoke softly. "For the birthday party, I will supply, and even cook, all of the chilli dogs for-"

"DEAL," Sonic exclaimed. "GET IN THE BACKSEAT, AND TELL ME WHERE TO DRIVE."

"No way in friggin' hell dis car's fittin four mates and three fatasses." Fang examined. "An'... what the hell is that back there...?

Sonic withdrew the Golden Plot Device, leaned over to the glove compartment, and began scrounging it while Eggman explained. "Flux Capacitor. You see, we're from the future."

"Oh don't give me this horseshit."

"And we found out some vital information that the group we are being Shanghai'd into will benefit from knowing. For example, Christoph-"

"AHA!" Sonic shouted, holding in his hands a miniature Flux Capacitor, able to fit in a cup holder. Eggman was devastated.

"What in blue..." Nack began, his eyesight trailing to the catgirl next to Sonic and then back to the tiny device "... aaah scratch dat. Da fuck's that?"

"Miniature Flux Capacitor. We should be able to travel through time just as if we had the full size one."

"Where DA FUCK didja get that, what was the POINT of the HUGE one, an' mos' importantly, HOW?"

Sonic spun the Golden Plot Device on his finger like a basketball. "Plot Deviiiiice~" After saying it, he kissed it while it was spinning.

"I'm not even gonna fuggin' ask. Anyway, BARK!"

"Yus Rockay?" Bark asked, standing to attention and saluting with his left arm making an L on his forehead.

"One, stop callin' me Rocky."

"No can do."

"I'd say fuck you too but you'd like that, wouldn't ya, blubber for brains. Whatever. Two, get dis Ducks Camacitor outta the car, we're getting in."

While Bark literally tore the Flux Capacitor from the back of the car, and threw it on top of the other car that was underneath a cardboard box, Sonic gestured Big to come to the window. Big followed his request. Sonic began to whisper into his ear.

"You've been to the Arthurian Legends? So, uh, do you know about... my-"

"Yes." Big stated. "And I will keep it a gentleman's secret."

"Thanks."

END OF CHAPTER 8.

... Wait, what's this here?

"Alright, according to this tracking device Awesomest gave us," Cola began explaining to his comrades. "That voice guy should be in here..."

All of the writers, except for two: Mr. Awesomest, who was somewhere inside the building, and Sock, who disappeared, were stacked up outside a doorway, ready to infiltrate and kill whoever was talking to them.

"Let's get him." Cero said.

"Yeah, and can I get out of this frickin' maid costume?" Xenos complained.

"When it's all done with." Place said.

They all took a collective breath in, and busted down the door. They were in the COMPEWTER ROOM again.

Sup, Awesomest greeted from behind his computer.

"The voice is in here, dude. Did you see him?" Cola interrogated as he made his way through the room with the others.

I did not look him in the face, but he's in the room alright, Mr. Awesomest wrote in response.

The four scowered the room, but alas, they were searching for a man that was not there. Or, the man that was there, yet hiding in plain sight. The man sitting behind his computer, working on this story all by himself, with no one in the pad, who never bothered opening his mouth ever since the voice began to haunt them, began humming the bassline of Balrog Boogie.

All of the authors continued their search, except for one. One was frozen still from the familiarity of the song, while others stopped in confusion. Cola, fearful of the implications of the song, turned to the voice that was humming it.

Right next to Mr. Awesomest's head was a big red button with a sign reading "ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL". As the bassline was reaching its finish, the clever bastard turned his head to Cola, and put his hand against the button.

"Fuckers."

ACTUAL END OF CHAPTER 8.

THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERRRRRS

SINCE THEY ARE RUNNING SONIC GOES TO THE STORE: REDUX,

I'M GOING TO BE CONTINUING THE ORIGINAL

I don't know why they chose now to ditch the story, as it was just getting GOOD.

Ah well.

More for you guys I guess.

Edited July 6, 2012 by Mr. Awesomest

[Mr. Awesomest]

CHAPTER 5: Quicksilver

Sonic and Blaze walked toward the gates of the castle.

"So, why couldn't we go into that part of town? Unrest going on, or something?" Sonic asked.

Blaze shook her head. "Look, I'm sure you've noticed how the nation is completely split over me, and that part of town doesn't really like me. So someone did a graffiti mural over there, with the subtitle "My God, Help Me Survive This Deadly Love", and–"

The cat was cut off by Sonic abruptly laughing. She rose her eyebrows, and waited for Sonic to finish.

"Ha, oh man, say no more, I GET IT. Ah, I saw that coming, too." Sonic shook his head. "Just tell me, how off model was it?"

Blaze gave a confused look, which became more disgusted as she began to recall the terrible image. "... Very, and how do you know about it...?"

"Oh, there's a variation in my world, except less furry," Sonic explained. "And more gay."

"Why are you enjoying this?"

"Oh, because this kind of stuff is an everyday thing to me, and I've learned to laugh it off, except in extreme cases of wrong. I told you about this on Southern Island, remember?"

"Well, I'm glad I'm a world away."

"Sadly you're still on the same rock as Marine."

Suddenly, Shadow slid past the gates on his side, his hoverboots keeping him barely off the ground as he bent to drag his hand along the concrete. At seeing Sonic and Blaze, his shoes powered down, and gravity dragged his feet to the floor. Standing upright, he groaned.

"Dammit, you two had me worried." Shadow spat toward the two. "At first I thought you two were just taking your sweet old time, then I figured the assassin got the jump on you. Seems I should have just kept on walking."

"Whatever, man." Sonic shrugged. "Now that you know we're not corpses in a back alley, let's head inside."

As the three went around the corner, Amy and Cream were both delighted.

"Sonic!" Amy cheered. "What took you so long? Did you find anything?"

Sonic shook his head. "No, we didn't." Sonic pointed his finger and grinned. "And if I heard Shadow right, you didn't find squat either."

Amy looked down, sighing. "Oh well. Maybe we can go outside the city tomorrow, find a nice, quiet spot?"

"Yeah, I guess we could search for bases outside the city. Rouge said he wasn't fast? He couldn't have gotten far..." Sonic examined aloud. A few moments of silence passed, and Sonic couldn't resist a joke.

"Sooo, same groups?" Sonic laughed, knowing the answer.

"NO." Shadow and Amy said in unison.

"I want someone COMPETENT on my team." Shadow argued.

"And I want..." Amy turned to Shadow. "Hey! Are you saying I'm not competent!"

Sonic broke it up before it became a fight. "Alright, alright, we'll scramble the teams."

The team passed through the tall keep doorway. There, the ambient sounds of footsteps, servants, and distant music filled the background. A hum that sounded like air conditioning whirred above the five as they walked. Ever so gently, it died down one or two steps in. Blaze's ears twitched, and she slowed down to take note of this.

"Hmm." She wondered to herself. "Thought I heard-"

A dark figure slammed onto Shadow from the ceiling above the doorway. Everyone yelped in reaction, with Shadow dragging his into a growl of pain. The figure wrapped in black began pulling at something, which

Sonic noticed was a dagger which got implanted into the floor upon landing.

"It's him!" Blaze exclaimed as Sonic walked over to the man in black. He had just retrieved the dagger from the tile, when Sonic grabbed his arm and pulled him so that the assassin was facing him. The cloaked man got a glance at Sonic before the blue blur did a roundhouse into the side of his head. The kick sent him flipping sideways and land on his back.

Cream went rushing away as Amy retrieved her Piko Piko Hammer. Shadow had rolled back onto his feet, not happy at all about the greeting he got. Sonic leaped over the attacker, set to slam into his face. Blaze's feet and hands lit on fire as she stomped over to her assassin, ready for round two. But she knew there wouldn't be a round two. There wasn't even a round one, really. The fact that his timid approach at taking people's lives when face to face really hinders his combat abilities shouldn't be breaking news to anyone, really.

Neither is the fact that the assassin is the Prince of Polaritine, Silver.

Well, at least to none of you.

I mean, come on.

All of those advancing were blown back by a massive surge of energy. They all landed at least ten feet away from where they were standing around the assassin.

"You throw a nice kick," He commented. "But it'll take more than that to beat me!"

Sonic looked at his enemy with a confused, and worried look. "Silver?"

What happened? How did he get here? Why is he here? He's the assassin? Why would he try to kill Blaze? They seemed to get along pretty well at his birthday, unless this Silver is older than the any version Sonic's met and has either been tricked into doing this, or he just went off the deep end. But still, how did he get here, into a different dimension? Wait a minute, didn't Blaze say that he was the prince of a rival nation? How did that work out? How does that make sense?

What?

Silver turned to Blaze, who was currently on a knee, getting ready to pounce. Silver lifted his arm in the direction of a suit of armor, and the sword began glowing a light blue and slowly rose from the hands. Blaze quickly rolled backward to avoid the sword, and just barely sidestepped in time to avoid another toss of it.

Shadow was simmering in anger. Sneak up with a steel chair, get the drop on me, he thought in a growling tone. And now psychic powers. Strike three, asshole. Gloves are coming off. Shadow found the fact that Silver had suddenly decided to try to kill them all weird, but there's no time to think about questions like that now. Only how to stop him. Meanwhile, Sonic shared the same mentality, however much less venomous. As Sonic got back onto his feet and paced around him, Shadow waited for the right moment.

Silver rose his hands as he looked at the semi-circle of enemies he made. Where did that pink girl get that hammer, anyway? He pulled out another dagger, and held them both backhanded. Sonic used the pause to get a closer look at the weapons. The knives were large, with a black iron center and steel blades. It took a moment to catch the familiar air of it. Well, seems that book has a bit more legitimacy than I expected, Sonic thought. Didn't expect much from that King Arthur thing to actually exist.

"Okay, you look cool with those knives and the ninja wrapping stealth getup, we get it." Sonic began. "Now put those away before someone goes medieval on you."

Silver jerked his head toward Amy and her massive hammer. "Tell that to her."

The psychic hedgehog of unknown origin swung his hand, sending out a psychic wave. Blaze and Amy got blown back, but Sonic rolled under it. Before Silver could react, the blue blur slammed into his jaw in a well formed spinball, and bounced back. Silver was fairly quick to recover, using some of his psychic power to make him land on his feet. Silver diverged his attention from his opponent to look over to the sword he had launched at Blaze. With a flick of his hand, the sword suddenly went shredding through the air at the Sonic as Silver rushed at him. Sonic turned in time to see the sword flip and spin at him.

At that moment of fear, Sonic lost his cool.

Sonic's whole body twisted out of the way as he snatched the sword from the air. Keeping the momentum, Sonic spun toward Silver and flicked his wrist as the sword hit the dagger. Silver's weapon flew from his hand, sending it flying over everyone's heads, and everyone seemed to watch as it flopped through the air. Sonic quickly followed through with his swing with an overhead smash on his other dagger, knocking it to the floor. Caught completely off guard and now intimidated, Silver began to back off as Sonic brought his sword back. In a move that confused the assassin, Sonic grabbed the sword by the blade, careful not to cut his hands. The ticked off hedgehog then swung around, and smashed Silver on the side of the head with the hard, heavy metal pommel of the sword. The blow sent Silver staggering back onto one knee.

At this point, Shadow rose from the ground. Just as Silver was regaining his senses, Shadow ran at him, leaped, and slammed Silver in the face with a dropkick. Just after impact, Shadow's jet boots blasted into his face, for extra propulsion. The kick had sent the white hedgehog out the front door and down a flight of the stairs outside. This game the group a short moment to collect their senses while he rolled down the stairs.

"Alright, Blaze." Shadow began, turning to her. "Why didn't you tell us it was Silver?"

The cat sighed. "I didn't want to alert you. Plus, I don't think you know him all to well?"

"Why is he attacking you now? It's only been a month since you two were chatting at Sonic's birthday." Shadow recalled.

"You didn't really seem to catch what we were saying, then." Blaze pointed out. "I was asking why he was from the future, and he was telling me he was always in the future. I would have pointed it out, but I was confused at the time. So now, I'm wondering if the Prince isn't really the heir to his throne, if that is the same Silver, or if we've all been had."

"Hmm." Shadow grunted. "And didn't Sonic tell you about how we met him twice before that party?"

There was a small moment of silence as Shadow and Blaze looked at Sonic.

While they were talking Sonic was staring into the sword in his hands with analyzing, intellectual eyes. It was a sword with a wide blade, a "knightly sword" if he was correct. Before longswords became popular, it was used Although simply made, it was so sleek and clean, likely as it was a sword showcased on a suit of armor in perhaps one of the grandest palaces he's seen. When he noticed eyes upon him and he had been standing there oogling over a sword for much longer than a mere moment, Sonic blinked emptily, and dropped the sword onto the ground–which is to say, jerk his hand back, letting the sword pop up a few inches into the air–as if it carried the plague, shivering in a mixture of fear and disgust as it clanged on the floor.

"Oh yeah, about that." Sonic laughed, scratching the back of his head.

The cobalt hedgehog tried to recall why he didn't bring that up to her. A straight answer never seemed to come, but perhaps an answer of a sort did when the thought of the period just before it came to his mind. This period of time, while he didn't come up with a name for it, felt hollow. When it was happening, it dragged on for two months, but in memory, it felt like only one. Some days he didn't remember completely. One day, he remembers going to sleep in a forest outside a city he was wanting to check out, as there was a festival of some sort supposed to begin the next day. The next morning to his memory comes, and Sonic was waking up in his apartment on the other side of the ocean to where he thought he was. Even his friends had similar experiences. It was simply a hole-filled time. The first encounter with Silver was the event that marked the end of this worrying period.

Sonic shook his head. "You know, I don't know, those two months before it were just so weird, I guess it's–"

"Yeah. Whatever." Shadow cut him off, walking through the door. "Silver's getting back on his feet. Let's get some answers."

Sonic's expression lit up with relief. "Yeah, sure."

Blaze smiled. "Let's."

The three speedsters ran down the steps toward the fully recovered attacker, while Amy and Cream stood behind.

"Shouldn't we be helping?" Cream asked.

"I don't think we should," Amy responded. "Three is a crowd, four is plenty, and remember those times where we got in six person fights? It was chaos. Do you really want to do that again?"

The innocent rabbit recalled the time where she was involved in them. "Oh, dear, no! At least, not without Big..."

Amy remembered the giant furball. "Oh him? Yeah, he was good to have on our side. He took a lot of– ! Cream!"

"What?"

"Go get Tails, Silver may run away!"

"Yes Miss Rose!"

Sonic, Shadow, and Blaze all approached Silver, who was levitating high above where he landed, eyelevel with Amy and Cream, who were up two flights of stairs.

"Okay, seriously, I know you don't like us, but what's the deal?" Sonic asked. "You weren't like this before." Silver shook his head. "You've never met me, blue hedgehog!"

"Yes, I have! Three times before!"

Blaze looked over. "Sonic, he's different..."

While the few shouted at each other, Silver looked over toward the girls. Well, girl– The rabbit was running up the foyer stairs. The pink hedgehog with the giant hammer was blocking the doorway. If he chooses to escape for the house, Silver hopes she's not good at tennis. But that wasn't the reason he turned his attention over there. He sent out his hand, and one of his daggers and the sword glowed blue. With a flick of the wrist, the sword and the dagger skid across the floor and toward the door. The pink girl managed to yank her foot away from a blade as it flew through the doorway, and off the flight of stairs. As soon as he did so, Silver dropped his levitation, and plummeted to the ground, ready to send a blast wave as he hit it.

"SONIIIC!" She cried out as the weapons flew toward Sonic, catching his attention. As he fell, Silver judged if the weapons missed Sonic, they shall be right at Silver's feet for his use.

Sonic swung his head around to see the flying projectiles advance toward him rather slowly through the air. The hedgehog had enough time to shake his head, before beginning to shock the onlookers with what may as well have been psychic powers.

Sonic twirled out of the direct line of fire, and snatched the dagger from the air with his right hand. Continuing his spin, he grabbed the sword with his left, in a backhanded position. At this point, Silver landed on the ground and was observing Sonic's stunt. On his third turn, Sonic tossed the dagger into the air. This point in time is when everyone was able to bear facial expressions about this scene. The fourth spin is when he tossed the sword into the air. On the fifth twirl, he grabbed the dagger with his left hand, holding it backhanded, and on his sixth he grabbed the sword with his right, properly this time. On his seventh spin, Sonic stopped and stood with the dagger and the sword in practical positions.

Everyone was silent as they wondered where Sonic got that skill from.

Shadow had to speak up. "Where the hell-"

"Okay Silver, if you're going to keep this up, playtime is over." Sonic told Silver, cutting Shadow off. "So are you really sure you want to do this?"

Silver blinked in mild awe. With simple, slight hand movements, the weapons were pulled from Sonic's hands. A flick of Silver's wrist, and the blades went up, over the fence, and flopped disgracefully into the moat below.

"Best choice you've made all week." Sonic complimented, before suddenly sending himself at him in a ball.

Silver jumped aside and watched as Sonic kept rolling away. He turned to see Shadow coming at him with a Chaos Spear. In reaction, Silver sent a psychic wave at Shadow and blew him back, narrowly dodging his ethereal spear. Blaze had tried to kick him as he got up, but he stayed low as the fiery roundhouse went over him and she skid across the rock floor, leaving fire in her wake. The princess swung her hand out, casting a streak of fire across the floor toward the prince. He swung back to his feet, and spread his legs out so the fire trail went between them. Then, from his left, he heard an unmistakable whirr.

Sonic's rolled up self sped up the stairs and slammed into Silver's head, knocking him into the fence. Sonic uncurled while still in the air, and let out a cheerful "Woo!" as he fell to the ground.

Shadow rose from the ground and charged him. Silver thought another psychic wave would do the trick, but Shadow slid underneath. When the wave cleared him, Shadow saw the perfect opportunity to utilize a new feature his jet shoes had gotten: Power Boosters. They propelled with explosive force, compared to the stable hovering the shoes normally did. G.U.N gave them to Shadow so he could change direction and stop easier, as those were things he wasn't top notch at. Shadow pushed himself a bit upright, and with a smirk stretching across his face, he threw himself backward and sent a rocket propelled kick to Silver's jaw.

Silver flew up into the air, and over the fence. He regained his senses in time to take flight. He took a slow glide under the bridge, to get his thoughts together.

Should he go ahead and try to kill her now, and get the job over with? Taking her down now would be hard with the other two there. They're kinda tough, now that they're fighting now and not sitting ducks. But Silver's heard that Sonic has a lot of friends, and perhaps some of them should not be met. Running from this fight, with Sonic involved, may have him get his friends. So, Silver decided as he flew up over the bridge, this ends now.

"Forget next week," Sonic taunted. "Come on down and I'll knock you back home!"

Silver plunged at the ground, sending out a shockwave that the others expected and avoided easily.

Sonic, Shadow, and Blaze formed a triangle around him, limiting his options. He was going to try levitating out of there and send a wave to them all, but then...

Thirty seconds ago, elsewhere...

Cream threw the door open. "Sorry!" She said as the door slammed on the wall. "You have to come quick!"

"What's happening?" Rouge asked.

"The mean killer is attacking!" Cream explained. "He's attacking mister Shadow, mister Sonic, and miss Blaze just out front!"

"MUST MAINTAIN MISSION SUCCESS/FAILURE RATIO TO CONTINUE BEING ASTRONOMICAL." Omega stated.

"Just out front?" Tails asked.

Cream nodded. "Yes!"

The fox looked out the window, which just overlooked the path into the manor. He looked back inside, and saw Rouge just finishing the same action. With a smile, Rouge looked at Omega, and ordered. "You grab the back end..."

…

A window smashed open a couple stories above the doorway. All eyes looked yonder to behold a sight unforeseen; a walking arsenal, about to jump from the window. However, it would not simply fall; it has aid of three flight-capable allies with firm grips onto his metallic person, along with thrusters to propel him to high speed.

Omega was preparing for battle. "EXECUTING RIDE OF THE VALKERIES.MP3... SUGGEST INSULT TO TARGET."

"Um..." Tails wondered, confused. "... stupid meatbag."

As the orchestrated song began to play from his internal speakers used for government broadcast, Omega accepted the term.

"

Omega boomed.

Oh shit, Silver thought. It's Sonic's friends.

"Yes." Sonic said, breathless.

Omega tipped over, and began to fall, gathering speed. Rouge, grasping his shoulders, used her wings to turn him upward over the ground. Tails and Cream aided in the gathering of speed.

"YES." Sonic said louder, and more importantly, moving out of the way.

Taking Sonic's great tip, Blaze and Shadow moved out of the way, leaving Silver standing in the middle.

"Oh no!" Silver cried as he began sprinting away from the castle and that flying arsenal as fast as he could.

"OH YES!" Sonic cheered.

Omega began to unleash heaven's wrath, and the aim was slowly adjusting toward Silver. Silver swerved and swayed to avoid missiles and gatling gunfire. As Silver blew apart the main gate with his psychic powers, the guardsman took out a pistol, but as the quaking explosions of Omega's guns passed, he did not want to put a foot outside the post until he heard not a single sound.

Silver had ran toward the sidewalk, nearby stores. Pedestrians had cleared the streets at the sound of gunfire. Rouge ordered Omega to lighten up on the explosives around there, leaving the robot only with his machine guns. And watching from the gates was Sonic, Shadow, and Blaze. Amy was joining the trio.

"Did you see that!" Amy cried. "Cream and Tails were helping Rouge with that, too!"

"That was amazing." Sonic said. "That was just..."

"Simply fantastic." Blaze completed. "However I worry about property damage."

"I've seen Omega do a lot of things," Shadow began. "But that, was out of nowhere. Now, let's see if he thinks it's a good idea to use this thrusters to home in and slam him."

Sonic laughed, and began running. "Come on! I ain't missing this! Follow the Valkyrie!"

Amy ran after him without a second thought, and Shadow slowly began to skate after them, while Blaze noticed something blown aside, its blue glimmer unmistakable. She walked over to the gem, and smiled. Blaze picked up the blue Sol Emerald, and smiled. "Two down," She said to herself, smiling. "... five to go..." Her smile faded. Pocketing it, she quickly made her way through town, locating and following the flying rabbit, two-tailed fox, and bat carrying a robot of immense destruction currently causing havoc trying to kill a psychokinetic prince of a foreign nation to a classic orchestrated song. She may not know the streets as well as she should, but she'll be damned if she's not able to find them.

...

Prince Silver muttered curses under his breath as he fled ludicrously from the insane enemy above. The robot had bore no regard for the destruction to the city he was causing, which confused Silver greatly, but the Prince realized now was no time to ponder such quandaries. He was barely keeping his garb on and the bag in his control while he mimicked a motorcycle whilst turning around corners. He had to use his hands to help him back to his feet every couple of seconds, as explosions a dozen feet behind him constantly shook the ground. He had no idea where he wanted to go, but in front of him was a fence blocking off a park. Perhaps the trees could shake him off?

"Shit SHIT shit SHIT shit SHIIIT" Quoth the Prince in a well paced manner. And if you haven't caught the fact that every time I write that stupid sentences were said in a calm, collected manner when everything about it says otherwise, maybe you should start noticing. Silver propelled himself over a fence into the park, and ran along a small brook, partially covered by trees.

Meanwhile above, the girls were going over Omega's current performance.

"Omega!" Cream chastised. "Look at what you're doing!"

"Yeah, actually aim from now on, okay?" Rouge added.

"CRITICISM ACCEPTED." Omega stated. "ACTIVATING HEAT SENSOR."

Omega's heat sensor switched on, turning everything into a red and black color scheme, except for hot objects, which appeared white. He noticed a white blob moving alongside a stream, and executed maniacal_laughter.exe as he opened fire. In reaction, Silver scrambled, moving in a zig zag formation, before diving under a bridge. A well placed missile, a rarity for Omega, destroyed the overhead cover of the bridge. The powerful robot was surprised to not see anything there.

"SCANNING... SCANNING..." Omega scanned the area, and didn't seem to find him. "TARGET NOT FOUND. REQUESTING GROUND DEPLOYMENT."

Rouge nodded. "Request accepted." She turned to Cream and Tails. "Let go, kids."

They all let go of Omega, who activated his thrusters, essentially becoming a one ton guided missile that could get up and shoot people. For the first few moments, he simply cruised, looking around for that white hedgehog, but at the lack of his face, he turned and slammed into a bunch of trees to slow himself down.

Meanwhile, Sonic, Shadow, and Blaze all hopped over the fence, and were greeted by Rouge, Cream, and Tails.

"Does that robot factor in collateral damage?" Blaze interrogated Rouge.

Rouge shook her head. "No, but I think that was helpful for once. I think we got him."

"No, you didn't." Tails said, pointing in a direction.

The brook lead into a small pond, which as of the moment Silver just managed to avoid drowning in. Silver took a dive into the cold water and barely made it to the pond's shore with enough air. He was quickly getting onto his feet and making his way for the public restrooms.

Sonic quickly gave chase, followed by everyone else. Silver saw them coming, and ran as quick as he could for the restrooms, while Sonic got closer by the second. The blue blur almost had him, when Silver slammed the men's room door on his face. Sonic stumbled back, rubbing his nose. With haste, he slammed the door open, just in time to see a green flash from the first stall. He made his way just inside the stall, and waited for Omega to make his way in through the tiny doorway.

"Okay, let's catch this dude this time." Sonic said, turning to the portal hovering just above the toilet. "And not blow him to pieces, because I want to know what his problem is." With a breath in, Sonic shouted "Let's go!" and jumped in the portal.

…

A man was taking refuge from the outside battlefield in Casinopolis, which had just opened only moments before. G.U.N. had the current area secure, for now, and strangely enough Casinopolis had not stopped business. Before he could sit down at a Texas Hold 'em table for a couple hours while the war that raged outside resolved itself, he had to freshen up. On his way to the nearest restroom, he saw a young white hedgehog run by. He seemed to match a description, but he didn't quite know who. Disregarding the rushing anthro, he walked into the men's restroom, and marveled at how clean it was as he went over to the nearest urinal.

He heard a thud come from one of the stalls, along with some mumbling. Thinking someone just started to lean against the door, he continued draining Big Joe and the twins. But then came another thud, and he spoke up.

"Ow!" The voice said. "Give me some spac- "

He's heard that voice before. Was that-

Before he could even think of continuing the thought, another bang against the door.

A female voice spoke up. "Ugh, back off, will-"

Then came a surge of noise from within the first stall.

"Stop ramming us!" The voice cried out.

"Shut up," said the first voice. "Guys, get the hell back in there, we don't have room for our huge heads in here."

"ORDER ACKNOWLEDGED." A robot voice said.

"He said shut up, this is a public bathroom." Another man's voice said in a gravely tone. "The men's one, I'm sure."

"Ah!" Shrieked a little girl. "Don't push me!"

"Well get back in there," the first voice said. "I need to stop getting crushed and open this friggin' door."

The thought of them leaving the stall was the point where he realized he was done. He hurriedly stuffed his mounted machine gun away and zipped back up his pantaloons, and he heard the door open.

The man at the urinal looked just in time to see a blue hedgehog hero that saved the world a dozen times walk out of the stall, into an awkward locked stare.

Right after, his number one fan that on any day of the week is going head over heels for him came out and hugged his arm, before freezing at the sight of the man.

And then a fire-controlling cat he met maybe twice or thrice to help him save two worlds came out with her tail between her legs and hands covering her face. Then his best buddy with two tails, a black doppleganger of the hero, a six year old rabbit girl, a big busted bat, and a giant robot, all came out from a single bathroom stall.

Oh boy, the first thing he was going to do when he gets home is blog about it.

"Hey, uh, did you see where a white hedgehog run out of here, by any chance?" Sonic asked.

"Oh God, there's more?" was the first thought to cross the man's mind. The man blinked in silence for a second, attempting to grasp the situation again. "... Um, yeah, he was making his way to the door..."

"Okay then." Sonic nodded. He turned his head to the others. "Let's go guys."

"Mister Sonic," Cream jogged up to his side. "I don't have Cheese, plus fighting is bad, so I don't want to fig-"

"Wait, before you go..."

"Oh come on, what?"

"... Is the toilet in there, like... The Doctor's police box, or something?"

…

Silver threw open the doors of the Casino, and just as he thought since he was not near Sonic, weird things cannot happen. But the first thing he noticed outside is himself.

"Oh, hello." The Silver native to this dimension greeted. "Hey pal, do you mind helping me out? I'm being chased by this guy, and I was thinking maybe we could talk some sense into him, or talk sense out of-"

Prince Silver shook his head. "Well sorry, weird alternative-dimension me, but I'm afraid my situation's got you beat eightfold, and I although I'd love to-"

"What the hell?"

The two white hedgehogs turned to the mind-boggled red echidna.

The moment of pause created by the echidna was quickly broken by the Prince.

"As I was saying," He began again. "Although I'd love to figure out what's going on with you, sadly, I've GOTTA GO."

The Native Silver was disappointed. "But-"

"FAST."

Promptly, Prince Silver ran right by Knuckles, who let him by, knowing that he wasn't the Silver he was after. On his way out, he threw a bus down the street to block the only way out of the boxed in plaza. Knuckles turned to the remaining Silver.

"Wait, wait! Maybe we can figure it out!" Silver desperately suggested to the skeptical knucklehead who has since begun acknowledging his own gullibility due to his friend's advice. "You said I stole your emerald, but that OTHER guy seems more likely than me-"

"Hey Knuckles!"

Silver turned and saw seven people. The eighth must still be inside. Sonic, Tails, Amy, Shadow, Rouge, Omega, and... Blaze?

"Get that fake hedgehog."

Silver's survival instinct kicked in immediately, as all other forms of thought and logic seemed to have left the building on holiday. Knuckles not going to let this Silver go. Actually, he was ready to accomplish Sonic's request of "getting that fake hedgehog" with immense pleasure.

But that's when a robot fist came out of nowhere and sent Knuckles into a building.

"OHOHOHOHO!" Said the round, mustachioed pilot of the machine. "Oh no you DON'T!"

I am almost convinced that this is the best thing I've ever forged with my own two hands.

[Anti Alias]

Gonna read it fucker, better it be AWESOME.

Cellphones are awful devices for long reading.

[Mr. Awesomest]

OH BOY, BUCKLE UP, CAUSE IT'S TIME FOR CHAPTER 6

Chapter 6: Doctor When?

"Eggman!" Sonic shouted at the robot that smashed Knuckles into the building.

The machine that had quite literally appeared out of thin air turned to Sonic. It was in the same vein as a large Eggman Robo, but smaller, and more lean. In place of its head was a glass cockpit covering the pilot, mounted in his Eggmobile.

"No, Eggman Nega!" Eggman Nega corrected. "Eggman's cooking up a surprise for you in Pumpkin Hill, and he told me to give him some time..."

Sonic gestured to all of those around him. "Sorry, but if he's looking for thirty seconds, he's not gonna get that!"

"But you don't get it Sonic." Eggman Nega replied, a smirk stretching across his face. "I have plenty of time. My machine works wonders..."

Knuckles climbed out of the wall, angry. "Yeah, I can tell it's a pretty decent robot; it doesn't look a thing like you."

The old Doctor shook his head. "Predictable jokes aside, allow me to introduce it. BEHOLD!"

Within the second, another–no, the exact same–machine appeared from thin air with a bright red flash. It looked like it had been damaged, and had repairs done on it. And then another, with more repairs done. These repairs were not perfection; parts were sticking out. All were piloted by Eggman Nega, from different points in his perceived lifespan.

"THE EGG CHRONOS!" The three doctors cheered in unison.

"... Huh? Only three?" The original, current Eggman Nega was confused by the lack of a battalion of Egg Chronos. "I must make short work of you."

"... WELP." Sonic summed up everyone's reactions loudly, his lips closing causing the 'p' at the end. "A TIME TRAVELING MACHINE. I have to say, you might have actually done something good for the world once, Eggmen. Tell ya what, when I get done trashing it, I could tear it apart and get that doohickey-"

"I've got this one, blabbermouth." Knuckles shut Sonic up. He looked at the three machines. "Silver is probably halfway across this warzone of a town by now, with information on where MY EMERALD is," Knuckles pointed at the doctor behind the glass. "And it's all because of you!"

"Oh? I'm sorry, but I'm not involved in that." Nega retorted.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You Eggmen won't fool me a third time!" Knuckles shouted at them.

"Except it'd be the fourth," Sonic whispered to the party.

"And that's my job." Rouge joked under her breath.

"You're both lucky he didn't hear that." Shadow commented.

Eggman Nega shook his head. "Oh, I was hoping I'd have the joy of tricking you, just like the other doctor told me ALL about!"

Another Nega joined the conversation. "But we'll have so much fun wrecking you, and by we–"

"–I mean me, myself, and I!" The latest Nega finished.

Knuckles exploded. "I'm glad I'll be smashing your machine three times over! I've had enough of this sci-fi mumbo-jumbo!"

Knuckles ran at the original Egg Chronos, and spin-jumped into the air. The front-flipping he was doing gave him plenty of momentum for him to uncurl and slam his fist into the machine's chest. On a larger mech, this probably wouldn't have worked, but the Egg Chronos was small enough to stumble back. When Knuckles landed, he just noticed another fist coming at him from above. He ran to avoid that, and barely sidestepped out of the way from a large foot trying to stomp him.

"Maybe this is a good time to ask." Shadow said. He turned to Sonic. "How did you do that!?"

"What?" Sonic asked, legitimately clueless.

Shadow looked at him slightly frustrated. "That dagger and sword thing."

Sonic was embarrassingly reminded that he had done that in front of his friends. Trying to come up with a decent response, he played with his fingers, before finally answering. "I read a book."

Knuckles ran at the wall and jumped onto it. He climbed to the second story in a few seconds, and looked back. The robots were advancing, in a way that had left them in a curved line. Smiling, he leapt from the wall, and began to glide toward the closest Egg Chronos. It reared its hand back, and swiped at Knuckles. Knuckles barrel rolled to the right and landed on a side of the machine's glass cock pit, sliding around it. He was sliding off when Knuckles jumped off and sent a fist into the Egg Chronos just next to it, creating a crack across the cockpit glass. Bouncing off that one, he landed a good punch on the Chronos. As the robot began to fall over, Knuckles jumped off into the air.

At his current height, Knuckles was out of reach from the robots. Exploiting this opportunity, he began to glide over to the last machine, and with a spin, he began plummeting down upon the Egg Chronos. The strike cracked the glass, and Knuckles bounced to the ground away from it. Each Egg Chronos now had a crack in the glass protecting Eggman Nega from Knuckles' wrath.

"... A book?" Shadow said, in disbelief.

"Yep." Sonic answered. Sonic's attention was focused primarily on the fight. "Woah, did you see what Knuckles just did?"

Shadow was uninterested in that, as his full interest was. "... What kind of book?"

Sonic glanced about nervously before answering. "... A good book. Very immersive."

Knuckles turned to the Eggmen, all standing straight and angry about the damage.

"I knew I should have put a metal dome on this." Eggman Nega growled. "I guess I was expecting Sonic to not be able to reach up here."

Knuckles refused to toss some banter back, as he ran up to the most recent Egg Chronos machine, and began slamming his knuckles at its ankles. Nega, thoroughly worried, tried stomping back and forth. The second Egg Chronos came and was priming a punch at Knuckles.

"No!" The Nega from the third Egg Chronos cried.

Knuckles saw the fist coming and narrowly dodged it. The fist, unable to be stopped, sunk itself into the ankle of the first Egg-Chrono. The robot slowly began to collapse without a foot, with the pilots bickering as Knuckles made it out.

"Be more careful!" The third Eggman Nega chastised.

"I tried to eliminate the problem. Seems he's a bigger threat than expected." The second Eggman Nega reasoned.

"It's not like it matters," The first, downed Eggman Nega said, preparing his machine. "I'll just go back in time, repair the machine, and return!"

Knuckles was alerted by this, and began running toward the cockpit. He was not going to get away. But, before the spiked fist of Knuckles' knuckles could find itself in a scrambled Egg, the machine in its entirety flashed in a near blinding red light. A second later when Knuckles regained his senses, the machine had vanished, transported to a different time.

"How thoroughly did you read this book?" Shadow continued the interrogation.

"Do the time traveling giant robots even phase you?"

"Answer the question."

"Uh... I flipped through the book a couple(hundred)times, so I probably picked up a thing or two."

Knuckles turned to the two remaining Egg Chronos. "I should have to say, it took me a long time to find the right parts for the ankle. Thankfully, time is always on my side."

"Spare me details on how it works, please."

"Oh, you wish." Eggman Nega chuckled, pulling out a large tome of a book he had written on the subject, while still maintaining control of the machine.

Shouting "Oh no you don't!" as he went, Knuckles leapt at the Egg Chronos, seeking to tear the machine apart from the imperfections in the repairs. With a mighty punch, the echidna sunk his fist into the machine through a small opening, his large hand widening it greatly. Knuckles placed his two feet on the Egg Chronos, and began prying the metal off of the robot. With little effort, the metal plating was torn off, revealing a fragile frame.

Knuckles grinned as he jumped off, ready to jump back and strike from the inside, when he heard a sound. A familiar sound, of rockets being launched. Turning in time to see the rockets coming at him, Knuckles tried jumping back but was propelled into the bus, and the angle he hit the bus caused him to spin to the ground.

"Have you read a book on how to destroy a giant time traveling robot?" Shadow asked.

"Dude, do you remember a thing from that birthday party?" Sonic retorted. "That said, "How to Destroy a Giant Robot" is my autobiography. And if that was some badly disguised suggestion to help him, he can handle himself. Dude's got muscle like kevlar."

"Being his rival, I bet Rouge has certain something to counter it." Blaze remarked.

The latest Egg Chronos marched forward next to the former Egg Chronos, with its hidden missile compartment that was added in the recent repairs smoking. "Come on, let's turn this red runt into a smear."

Knuckles jumped to his feet. "It's gonna take a lot more than that to put me down!"

The senior Egg Chronos prepared for impact it had witnessed through the eyes of the earlier Egg Chronos. Knuckles ran, and grabbed the piece of metal from the ground, jumped up to the stomach and swung it. The panel tore apart the badly repaired exterior and exposed the core. Next to the core was an ominous, passive red glow. While being satisfied with his work, the Echidna heard the other Egg Chronos try to stomp on him. Knuckles dodged just in time, and threw the metal plate back at the Egg Chronos, damaging it severely.

"Grrrrr, you DAMNABLE LITTLE-" Eggman Nega caught himself. "Oh, my. Apologies for the explosion. It's very unlike me."

Sonic chuckled, looking around to see indifferent faces. With a shocked look on his face, he wondered if anyone else actually got that joke Blaze made. The expression became more severely written across his face when he realized Blaze made a joke.

The battered Egg Chronos once again readied its missiles. Knuckles turned, and as he did the missiles were launched, and homed in on him. There were a lot of missiles this time, at least nine. He acted quickly, and ran up to the Egg Chronos, and jumped onto its skeleton of a torso, so that he was standing right in front of the engine of the machine.

"What? No! Get off!" Eggman Nega boomed, slamming his fist on the control panel.

Knuckles did as he was told. The guardian of the Master Emerald leaped off the Egg Chronos just before the rockets would have made contact. They flew into the machine and nailed its engine. The massive explosion following was loud, the air was filled with smoke for at least thirty feet around, and there was a bright red glimmer, not a flash, but it disappeared in time.

The Eggmobile popped out from the smoke and into sight, with its pilot fairly disappointed.

"Blast, another fine creation, destroyed." Eggman Nega growled his laments as he got control of his Eggmobile. "If it weren't for you, they would have been dead."

Knuckles smirked (whilst being careful not to chuckle, as that would only rouse comments from Sonic), thinking he had won the battle.

"You'll regret this." Eggman Nega called out, before making his leave.

Twip

Rouge's ears perked up. She turned to Tails, who was holding some sort of gun.

"What is that?" The bat asked.

Tails smiled. "A tracking device. Specifically, just the launcher. The tracker is on Nega now, so we can be sure if he's going to Pumpkin Hill, and where to next."

Rouge smiled slyly, putting her hand on his head and leaning on it. "Oh, clever."

A moment later, Knuckles was reminded the battle was not yet over. The last remaining Egg Chronos–second in its chronology–ran and jumped at Knuckles. The body-slam was successful, to an extent, as Knuckles was hit but knocked out from underneath the large robot. Knuckles quickly got up to his feet, but the Egg Chronos was much slower. Knuckles used its slow ascension to sprint toward it.

When the Egg Chronos was on its side, Knuckles punched it. The large machine was blown back, and when it landed it started to roll around the corner. Knuckles quickly followed it around the corner, where it tried to sit upright. Before the Echidna could get another attack off, though, Eggman Nega had prepared. With a massive, blinding flash of red, it disappeared before Knuckles could get the last hit.

The echidna stared at where the Egg Chronos once was. It was obviously there, the indenting on the ground proved it. And in a flash, it was gone. He knew Eggman was crafty, but this time travel stuff was too much for Knuckles to completely grasp. Unsatisfied, Knuckles went around the corner, and just now really took into account how many were in Sonic's party.

"Woah." Knuckles gasped. "This is too many people for just a normal Eggman tussle. What's going on?" Knuckles asked, while Sonic climbed on top of the skeletal remains of the destroyed Egg Chronos. He had very special ideas in his mind.

"It's a lot, but I guess I can explain." Tails said, while Sonic tossed out destroyed technology and bits of metal from the robot carcass.

"Someone tried to kill Blaze in her world yesterday, someone who was the prince of a rival nation. She chased him into the ocean where she was sent to our world. We picked up something offshore, and wanted to get a look at it when Rouge came along and took a single emerald, so that Shadow and Omega can come in and get the readings from my computer.

"However, while we were chasing down Rouge, Shadow and Omega were knocked out by the prince, who took the rest of the emeralds. Rouge decided to go home while we dealt with Shadow and Omega, but on the way back she saw the assassin with the emeralds. She beat him, and he opened a portal to Blaze's world."

"Huh? I thought you said you couldn't power something like that without both sets of emeralds." Knuckles asked.

Tails nodded. "Well, he must have something on the inside. Well we went into her dimension, searched all day today, and found him just a few minutes ago. I didn't suspect the prince would be Silver..."

Knuckles' eyebrows rose. "Wait, Silver?"

"Yeah, Silver is apparently the prince of another nation in Blaze's world, as well as her would-be assassin. Which is strange, because I thought he was from the future."

"Hey, I saw-"

"AHA!"

Everyone turned to Sonic, climbing out of the Egg Chronos. He held high above his head, a red motherboard chip, flashing a red tinted light.

"This must be that time travel chip thing!" Sonic cheered. "If we could fix this thing up, we could make our own time travel... thingamajig."

"Wait a minute..." Tails slowly walked up to it. He took the motherboard from his hands, and examined the red piece of technology. It had a familiar air to it. The design was very familiar, yet seemed different. The color was the primary difference between it and what he found a familiarity with, but what? What was it...

Tails' namesake tails shot upright as he made the shocking realization as people gathered around.

"Sonic, doesn't this look familiar to you?" Tails asked his best friend.

Sonic was a bit puzzled. "Hm? Tails, you can freshen my memory now."

Tails jogged his memory. "Well, remember how I tried making that dimension traveling machine, that didn't quite work out right?"

It took Sonic a quick moment. "Oh, yeah. Tried making it so that you wouldn't be technologically far behind the Eggmen. That was a weird experience."

Blaze's eyebrows rose, and grew very curious. "What happened? What did you see?"

Sonic turned to the cat. "Things." This answer was not satisfying, but she didn't want to pry.

"Well, this looks structurally similar to that other chip! It's slightly different in places, but that's probably because it's perfected!" Tails exclaimed.

"Cool. Is there somewhere awesome you want to go with this?" Sonic asked.

Tails grinned. "I still have the machine you used. If I were to replace the chip, and make a few adjustments..."

"... oh my god." Any hints at Sonic having maturity went down the drain as he pleaded. "CAN WE PUT IT IN A DELOREAN!?"

Tails was immensely disappointed as well, but quickly tried to make it up to him. "No, I don't think we could, but we could get that other machine sending you through time in an hour!"

Sonic's shoulders slumped. "Aw. Ah well."

Shadow felt the need to interject. "This is all interesting, but what use would you have for a time machine?"

Sonic and Tails both stared at Shadow. Sonic's face was carrying a facial expression that presumed he was an android that hates fun. "It's a time machine!" They answered in unison.

"You saw what that Egg Chronos did, didn't you?" Sonic began to rationalize. "It had 3 different selves from 3 different points in time. We could have a whole army of ME curbstomping Eggman in seconds every invasion. And when I get bored afterward, I would just say "hey I'm bored let me go back in time and help myself" thus becoming my own army. How is that not a decent use!?"

Shadow put his face in his hand. "I would rather not have this adventure be extremely confusing and incomprehensible by throwing time jumping into consideration."

"Don't worry man, I'll probably just do what I just explained." Sonic assured. "Can't really promise if the Eggmen have nothing else in store, though. Probably do, though."

"It says that it's experimental." Tails stated, examining the red chip.

"Oh, well there ya have it."

Cream poked her head outside the door, and went to join the group. Noticing a total of eight others, Knuckles thought it was finally time to spit it out. "Hey Sonic, I think I have something you want to know."

"Hm?" Sonic acknowledged his red friend.

Knuckles took a breath in, and began to explain. "While you were doing... whatever you were doing, my Master Emerald was stolen by Silver. He got away, but I found him running around in this city. I chased him for hours, and eventually got him caught here, but then... another Silver came running out of Casinopolis."

Tails was intrigued. "What?"

"Here we go," Shadow groaned, his fears becoming real.

"They didn't even question each other. The Silver I was chasing asked the other Silver for help. The other Silver, holding a bag, explained he has no idea what was going on, but he was running from eight people, so he just left. I didn't touch him because I knew which one I was after." Knuckles explained.

There was a moment of silence.

Blaze slapped her forehead.

Sonic sympathized. "That's actually kinda okay, since you were left out of the loop. But seriously, you let him get away with the Sol Emeralds!"

"Hey, he wasn't my problem." Knuckles reasoned. "I was chasing after the one that stole my emerald."

Blaze took her head from her hand, a slightly agitated look across her face. "I hope you now realize you were wrong about your assumption this whole time."

Knuckles was alerted. "Look cat woman, I SAW Silver take my Emerald! If I knew there were two Silvers, I would have stopped them!"

"He has a point." Tails came in. "If you knew that Silver was a prince in your dimension when you he appeared at Sonic's party, why didn't you say anything when one from the future came along?"

Blaze kept the slightly agitated look on. The cat's eyes darted about the faces of her acquaintances, as if looking for something to use. She refused to say anything, but perhaps that was because there was not much she could. Finished darting her eyes about, she looked down, her expression sagging down with it, defeated. She didn't know.

Disappointed, Sonic decided it was time to move back on topic. "Well, if we want to see if this time thing still works, we have to get back to the workshop for it. I also have a Chaos Emerald in my apartment, so we can stop there to get it."

"Really? Thanks for being prepared!" Tails said enthusiastically. "Let's go get it."

...

"I... screwed up."

"What have you been doing? You sound breathless."

"It happened so fast. I tried getting her, but then... a giant robot appeared. I thought it was flying by itself, but it was held up by a bat, rabbit, and the two tailed fox."

"... Omega...! I hate that traitorous robot. That bat can never be trusted, as well."

"I also... dropped a Sol Emerald."

"What!?"

"I'm sure you would too, if quaking guns rattled you every step you took. That- that thing was scary!"

"Grr... Oh, by the by, where are you?"

"Still in Station Square. In a dumpster, in an alleyway."

"Never a detail spared. I like that. Well, there should be a Chaos Emerald in your vicinity. Acquiring it should have you break even, and put a real thorn in their side if we keep a hold of it. It's very high up off the ground, however; I hope you don't mind climbing twenty stories."

"Pssh, I can fly up that."

"I'd also like to inform you that you'll be breaking into Sonic's apartment."

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me."

"If you know where Sonic's apartment is, why haven't you, y'know, gassed him or something?"

"I have standards. I take pleasure in having bested others for something, instead of taking things from those sleeping."

"..."

"I'm trying to conquer the world, not destroy it. There's glory in victory, not assassination."

"Do you want this Emerald or not?"

"Yes, I have other matters to attend to. Nega is calling in, confirming a loss of the prototype Egg Chronos, as well as its unique time travel chip. It's very expensive to make, despite being not much different than the dimensional chip."

"How different?"

"The matter shouldn't concern you, but I'll fill you in as much as you can comprehend: the major difference is the fact that it is red."

"What does color have to do with it?"

"I don't know either! The space chip is structurally the exact same thing as the time chip. It seems making it red is all the difference. And even then, it's not a hundred percent success rate."

"Why?"

"I said, I don't know! Now quit wasting time! You're against the fastest thing alive, and we can't change that alive part if we don't have the emeralds. The location should be on the radar, with a number indicating distance upward or downward."

"Got it."

Silver climbed out of the dumpster in the alleyway, careful not to make noise. G.U.N. was getting their heads together, and the invasion of Station Square wasn't meant to last. It was a delay, and a set-up to get them on the alert for a much different attack that was coming their way. Silver looked at the device on his wrist; something the Eggmen had given him. It was a communicator, a Chaos and Sol Emerald locator, and primarily a Dimension-hopping device. It had the ability to warp the user to the corresponding spot in the opposite dimension. Because of the Eggmen's perceived mastery of space-travel, the chip in his wrist device was much smaller than the prototype red time-travel chip. He saw the blip over to his right. He began making his way toward the Chaos Emerald.

...

Sonic and the group made their way though Station Square toward Sonic's apartment. G.U.N. really managed to wrap their heads around the situation very nicely, as all that was left were straggling robots. Sonic himself wasn't too quick to admit they were significantly helping, but they had record-breaking control over the situation, if the Dark squad was right. Blaze informed the rest that Silver had dropped a Sol Emerald while running away, raising their count to two. The group of anthros were talking about the unnecessary size of the group as they almost reached their destination.

"Yeah, I think nine of us is too much of a crowd." Tails said. The two tailed fox looked toward Shadow, Rouge, and Omega. "Why are you still following us? You can leave."

Rouge decided she'd come up with a reason that wasn't Emeralds. "Well-"

"UPDATED ORDERS." Omega answered swiftly.

Shadow nodded. "That, and, I have my reasons to stay."

Sonic stopped.

"Why's that?" Blaze asked.

"Well, I probably should say." Shadow said. "Since Sonic-"

"Hey!" Sonic shouted upward, his head cocked at an angle that had to hurt whatever he had for a neck. "There he is again!"

Everyone's heads turned, and there he was, ascending the side fire escape. Silver was almost stunned at his discovery, but in both panic and weariness from using this telekinesis to levitate himself up, he quickly ran up the metal stairs. The resident of the apartment building could tell Silver was getting close to his room, and although he was experienced in running up walls, he was not his best without the aid of ramps. He wouldn't be able to get up there before Silver got into his room, which would be an insult to his title of fastest thing alive.

"Guys!" Sonic shouted out, running up next to the escape. "I can't just sprint straight up twenty floors! Someone give me a boost."

After a moment of almost uncomfortable silence, and contained laughter, Sonic was picked up by his top-middle quill and his tail.

"Alright, one express elevator trip, coming right up..." Knuckles said in an almost sinister manner.

Sonic gulped in horror as he was reared back. NOT AGAIN.

With Knuckles proper strength, the echidna swung Sonic around in a full circle before propelling him up at the building at immense speed. The speed could only be picked up when Sonic got his senses together and ran up the building. He hated being thrown by Knuckles. There was a short list of things Sonic wished he had never done, and letting Knuckles use the hedgehog's person to pummel massive blocks of solid stone to oblivion was one of them.

When he reached a good height, Sonic kicked off the wall, and locked his eyes onto Silver. As Sonic approached the height, gravity was slowing him down. Silver had just made it to the twentieth floor, and had to make his way over toward the window on the other side of the scaffold, when Sonic had came up, and spinballed right at his back.

Silver stumbled away, surprised and exhausted. He turned around in time to be on the receiving end of a quick left handed punch. It was followed by two more quick punches, pushing him back to the railing. Sonic kept his left hand in his face.

"Yaah," Sonic began, sending a powerful punch at Silver.

Unable to see because of Sonic's hand, Silver acknowledged the verbal warning and put his hands up, but his real strength was in his telekinesis. His hands failed to block the powerful punch sent right at his cheek, and he began to tumble over the railing.

"HAA-TAAAAA~!" Sonic cried out, very satisfied with how perfectly it translated from in his head to out his mouth.

Silver fell from the fire escape, and flailed around for a moment before bringing up his wrist device. With a press of a button, he was warped into the Sol Dimension. Sonic didn't worry about Silver after that, though. Twenty stories wasn't that nasty a fall, for him at least. I mean, he's had worse.

Sonic smiled while walking over to the side closer to the street, and gave a thumbs up to his friends. Tails was already halfway to him, and Amy, Blaze, and Shadow were just beginning to climb up the fire escape. Seeing as night was slowly beginning to fall, and they just got an emerald not so long ago, Sonic shouted below to his friends.

"HEY! LET'S NOT CHASE HIM! LET ME GRAB THIS EMERALD AND WE'LL HEAD TO TAILS' WORKSHOP!" Sonic cried out to those below.

Sonic began to walk over to his window. The taped on doctored image featuring his rotting corpse made him chuckle at how well it fit, and how much Amy would be distressed–if it was the first time he pulled tricks like this. The fact that she wouldn't be surprised was irritating because she needs to get the message that he wanted her to knock on the door next time. Throwing pebbles, screws, and the like at a window from a fire escape is not nearly as sappy, heartwarming, or dare-he-say romantic as it is from the more traditional ground. It is kind of pitiful, actually.

The owner of the apartment lifted the window just in time to spare the explanation to Tails, who just got on the floor. Sonic ushered his two-tailed friend into his apartment as he climbed through the window. His high speeds allowed Sonic to take the picture off the window and leave it face down on a dresser before Tails got there.

As Tails climbed through the window. "Sonic, I think there's enough posters on your wall."

"That's why I put some on the ceiling." Sonic remarked. Tails had been into Sonic's apartment a few times before, and every time he comes back, there's more things on his wall. Tails understood why he did this, and got used to it.

Sonic scratched his chin, walking toward his bedside dressers. "... Now where'd I put that thing...?" Sonic began searching his dressers, filled with random things because he only wore socks, shoes, and gloves. Occasionally, he wore coats, suits, and such, which were kept in his closet.

"Hey, why do you have that?" Tails said. Sonic looked to see him looking at a poster, featuring an absurdly muscular man with bullet-sized welts in his chest, a large face with an angled chin, and thick, massive eyebrows. This character's name was Kenshiro, from the anime "Fist of the North Star". "And no Gurren Lagann?"

"You know it's my favorite anime." Sonic answered. "And I dropped Gurren Lagann when the best character on the show died. Heck, I've even been practicing Ken's technique."

"... you what."

"Accuracy is crap, though, and I don't have his muscles..."

At that moment Blaze came up to the window after almost walking right past it. She paused at the window, looking around the eccentric room with curiosity written all over her face as she sat and threw her legs into the windowsill. Shadow came up behind her, merely raising an eyebrow, and behind him Amy, grown as accustomed to the room as Tails.

His walls were over-encumbered with pictures, posters, and art. Pictures of faraway lands which he traveled to, posters of bands Sonic was a fan of, and stylistic art all completely covered the walls, making their original color unidentifiable. There were pictures of him rushing down a sloped street from a familiar massive truck, an Eggman fortress located within a pyramid, and of the Earth from behind dusty, dirty glass. The last two seemed to have been taken by Sonic himself, while the first must have been acquired from a bystander lucky enough to have his camera out at the time, be in position to take a picture, and within range of something to dive into for safety.

"What's with all this, Sonic?" Blaze asked.

Sonic gave a quick glance at the cat. "Memorabilia, of all the places I've been. Speaking of which..." Sonic stopped, and pulled off his shoe with his other foot, and withdrew from it a postcard. He held it up to her. On it, was a picture of the massive castle from the front gates. "My first trinket from another world." He placed it on the counter top, kicking his foot back into the shoe. "The stuff I get from places usually isn't big enough to get on my wall, so I come back for larger stuff later. There's literally only one place I haven't gotten anything from that I've been."

Tails and Amy were silent. They knew his apartment well enough to not really say anything, and Amy never even used the door. The newcomers to the blue blur's place noticed Tails looking up at the ceiling, and when they followed his eyes, they discovered not even the ceiling was spared from complete obscurity. All along the ceiling, was pictures of Sonic with those he's met in his life. The images seemed to start at what Sonic called "the Chaos incident", with a group shot of almost all those involved; Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles were all there, but a robot had gone missing, and Big was off fishing in the background. There was also images of when he first met Cream, Blaze, some fairie dog thing that Shadow and Blaze had trouble identifying, and many others. The entire room seemed to be an autobiography, something the both of them didn't expect Sonic to bother doing.

Having grown very interested in his life, Blaze couldn't resist asking when she recalled there was one place he didn't get anything from.

"And where would that be?"

Sonic stopped, but only for a second. He continued digging through his piles of junk, knowing exactly where the Chaos Emerald was.

"My hometown." Sonic answered. "... Aha!"

Immediately after, Sonic withdrew the Chaos Emerald, that shared the same color of his fur. "Alright, we're done here. Let's go to the workshop for the night, tomorrow's gonna be big, I can smell it!"

"It's going to be catastrophic," Shadow guessed. "Mostly likely because of your will to pull these time shenanigans."

Sonic smiled, hopping out the window. "That just makes it all the more fun. Let's go-"

"Wait!" Shadow shouted.

"Oh, what!?" Sonic said.

"When was the last time you checked your voice mail?"

Fed up with with answering even more of Shadow's questions, Sonic stormed down the fire escape. The others soon followed.

When the five got down, they saw the very distinct and unmistakable Chaotix, composing of Vector, Charmy, and Espio conversing with their group. Vector and Charmy were covered in trash, while Espio had a rather disgusted look on his face because of their stench. Cream was escatic, as she had been reunited with Cheese.

"All in a day's work!" Vector gloated, somehow completely ignoring the stench he was drenched with. "Anything else we can help you with while we're here?"

Espio shook his head. "Vector, I don't-"

"Hey guys!" Sonic greeted them. "We have a case for you to crack. There's apparently two Silvers running about. We don't really know what their deal is, and I heard Espio is pretty okay with Silver, so maybe you could find out what's with them?"

Their eyes turned to Espio, and they all noticed that he was almost uncharacteristically irritated.

"The things I put up with," Espio breathed as he rested his face in the palm of his hand. He wanted a vacation, but that would be against his code. After a moment, Espio looked back at Sonic. "If I have the chance to meet either of his personas, I will look into it, but for now, I need an aspirin..."

...

Tails' workshop was almost overcrowded, as it was most certainly not a castle. Some had to sleep on the floor, and while they were resting, Tails was working on the machine with Sonic observing intently. The two tailed genius was wiring the new, red prototype chip with the machine that was designed for dimensional travel without the use of Chaos or Sol Emeralds, when he stopped to speak.

"You know, it's kind of funny..." Tails began.

Sonic responded after a yawn. "What?"

Tails turned his head to him. "How green is for space travel, and red is for time, and how these are hardly different from each other, other than their colors."

Sonic wasn't laughing. "Point being?"

The fox stopped what he was doing to turn completely to him. "Well, doesn't that seem, familiar to you? ... Y'know, it was like that in..."

With all the time Tails had given him, Sonic's sleepy state suddenly got it. "No."

"Well, why not?"

"I don't care how much you like that crazy webcomic with a terrible fanbase, it's a coincidence, just; no."

"Well, I was just saying-"

"And quit making jokes nobody other than me would get."

"Er-"

"It's not funny if no one gets it."

"Jeez, I-"

"Will you two SHUT UP!?" Shadow spat louder than anyone's ever heard him shout before.

Well, you can tell a lot's going to happen in the next installment. I bet you can't guess what!

...

What's that?

You think you can?

...

WELL THAT'S WRONG

INTERLUDE: THE GAME

The morning came, and Sonic's dream had come true. Early in the morning, the time machine was complete. The teenage blue hedgehog was bouncing up and down like a kid on Christmas day. Only a few others were awake this early. Tails was woken by Sonic, Shadow, Rouge, and Blaze were used to waking up early, and Omega never sleeps. At least he doesn't need it.

“Psst, Tails.” Sonic whispered. “Y'know how Blaze said she was familiar with Crisis City?”

Tails nodded while priming the machine for activation. “Yeah, that was really weird. Maybe it was just something she did?”

Sonic sighed. “Well, she hasn't been giving answers, so how about you set this thing two hundred years into the future, and I'll bring her along to drag her around until I get answers.”

“I don't see how just being there would get answers...” Tails responded.

“Maybe if I find the Silver we know, she'd feel more compelled to explain.” Sonic reasoned.

“Well, if you think it would work. Nothing needs to be done to accommodate more people in the machine, so if you can get her to come along, go ahead.”

Sonic nodded, and then made off to find Blaze, ready to persuade.

Shadow, Rouge, and Omega were sitting in the corner, discussing private matters. The feline Sonic was looking for was reclining in an arm chair, sitting in a combination of a curled up and laying down. Sonic pulled a chair from the table and sat across from her.

“Good morning.” She greeted rather slothfully.

Sonic smiled. “Hey, I was wondering if you'd want to test the time machine out with me.”

“That was handed to them on a silver platter. It shouldn't be this easy.”

Blaze gave him a curious look. “... Why?”

“Doesn't take anything more to bring more than one person through time, so I thought why not?”

“What about Tails, or someone else?” Blaze asked.

Sonic took a breath in. “Tails has to make sure the machine is working properly. I'm not waking anyone up to go with them, especially not Amy. I'm not going with Shadow or Rouge, and Omega-” Sonic stopped for a moment to realize just how fun going through time with a giant destructive robot could be. But just for a moment. “Omega is probably caught up with his own problems. Orders, and stuff.”

“Well, I am sure it is not going to last long, what with how you typically treat your devices, making them either dysfunctional or misleading. And besides...”

“You know, I don't think this time traveling is a good idea. Being introduced to us so quickly, I don't think it would be this easy to master.” The cat argued.

“It's an opportunity I'm not going to be missing out on. And besides, I trust Tails.” Sonic reasoned. “And don't you trust me?”

“I trust you. It's... it's just that...” Blaze responded, but was unable to finish her sentence.

“Well, come on.” Sonic said, getting up, and walking toward the storage room where the time machine lay in wait.

After a moment of inactivity and unease, she threw herself up and followed him.

“... How else would they know?”

Tails saw that Sonic had managed to convince Blaze to come along as the princess slowly walked through the door. Blaze was intimidated by the large piece of technology. It was tall, wide, had a metallic ramp leading up to a sliding glass door. The metal was dark, cold, and somewhat dusty from having left sitting for months. It looked like a high-tech elevator. Perhaps this could be metaphoric? Whatever it was, this machine, originally designed to be a dimensional transportation device was not like the one she used. Hopefully it had different results.

Knowing that Sonic is impatient, Tails began to tell them how to operate the machine. “Alright, let me tell you everything you need to know to through time and come back. There's a lot involved, let me tell you, but it's mostly for me. You don't have to worry about much.” Tails began his monologue of an explanation.

“First of all, the machine itself and everything inside moves through time as one entity. No disassembling and reassembling your molecular structure or things like that, as many sci-fi series handle moving through time and space. However, it only works this way it should if the door is shut. I have no clue what would happen if the door was open, and have no intention of finding out. So rule number one: shut the door.

“Second, in the machine, there is a big red button. When you haven't been sent anywhere in time, the button does nothing. But when you are sent off, and wish to return, push the button when the door is shut, and it will bring you back to the moment you left. To me, you'll be gone for a second; less, even.

“Lastly, don't do anything stu- er, completely stupid. All science has on time is theories, and so I don't want you two going off creating alternative timelines and stuff. Not only would that may not work out as planned, you might return to the present in a timeline where something else was in the spot the machine appears, and I'll let you wonder what happens then."

“Timelines, shmimelimes.” Sonic scoffed at the theory, walking up to the door. “Just send us off.”

Tails has had this discussion with Sonic too many times before to have it again when he's waiting. "I'm literally seconds from finishing. You two get in, and shut the door."

“Know? About what? The game?”

Sonic pulled the sliding door of the almost dastardly looking machine open. Blaze was apprehensive, but followed quickly enough to avoid rousing up impatience from the hedgehog. Sonic leaned against the wall on the right as Blaze shut the door, sealing the machine off from the outside world. She thought it would be fitting as she leaned on the wall on the left.

“It is all about the game, to you, isn't it?”

“And how you play it.”

With a press of a button, Tails had sent the machine spurring into life, a dreadful existence for the cat, and to the hedgehog it was an anxiety building waste that wouldn't end. In order to make the wait less unbearable, Sonic tried starting a conversation.

“So what do you think it'll look like on the outside, when the time jump happens?” Sonic asked.

“Hm?” Blaze mumbled.

“Will we just see a red flash, or would there be something cool going on through that glass?” Sonic elaborated. “I don't think we'll be seeing anything too cool, but I'd love to see some Space Odyssey tier stuff.”

Blaze didn't really care. “Yeah...”

“In that case, I am fine, for they shall soon know how it plays...”

Sonic noticed her unease as the machine prepared to jump through time, and it was contagious. Something was eating at her about the whole time traveling thing. But what? She said things happened when she tried a dimensional traveling device her scientists created, but what things?

Wait, the noble! Sonic's head shot upright from drifting downward in thought as the machine came ever closer to activation. He said that the closest they got to a dimensional traveling device sent her to a burning city. Crisis City.

A projected countdown appeared across the glass pane door, starting at five.

Sonic thought as he walked up to the door, looking outside, anticipating what will soon lay outside the door.

Whatever happened, he was about to find out.

“... And, they get a little tease.”

END INTELRUDE

Edited September 5, 2012 by Mr. Awesomest

[Anti Alias]

Yeah that's pretty awesome and such, but where the fuck is that Sonic goes to the Store reboot update?

I mean, I'm dying to know what happens.

When you guys are going to update it?

[Mr. Awesomest]

In celebration of the internet coming back, I'm posting this short little thing I've had on my harddrive for a while.

It's a different kind of AU fic.

It was once peaceful in this kingdom. But then, during an age of steam, where the latest and greatest of technology were cogs and steamwork, the world had met their greatest enemy.

Doctor Ivo Robotnik, the world's greatest scientist, had come forth from his humble home to reveal to the world that he had something more sinister than a steam-powered utility. His latest creations were steam-powered robot minions, hundreds. Perhaps thousands, even. They had furnaces in their chests where coal roasted, operated by captured woodland animals, and under a hypnotic trance installed within the machine itself. On Ivo's conquest, they began taking over the kingdom's colonies. They were so fast, and there were so many, so the infantry were barely keeping control.

It was almost the end of his oceanic campaign, but then from the wild came a hero. A young, brash-

“Was he a knight in shining armor, daddy?”

…

The father looked up from the storybook he was reading to her daughter. Oh, how she loved to ask that question every time a story came up involving their kingdom. But she was just a little girl, six years old, (to become seven the next day) so it was to be expected.

“No, he was not.”

“... Oh.”

“He was an underdog, actually. He hailed from a tiny island. One of the empire's smallest colonies, as a matter of fact. He was drafted into the army at the age of thirteen to fight against a revolution that was happening at the time. The leader of this rebellion was a brilliant inventor, a genius, and had dreams of taking down the nation, to form his own nation of steam, bronze, and smoke.”

“Ooooh.”

…

The hero was a young, brash boy, fresh from a tiny island which nothing happened. On the outside, he was glad to get away from it, and into the world that he assumed “actually mattered,” although inside himself, he really missed his friends and family at home. He was a heads and tails man; on the heads side, smiles, rambunctious and daring, and on the tails, distant, collected, and observant. Both these sides would come into play on his quest, although he's very famous for his heads side.

It started off with this boy, not too long after he was drafted, getting posted on an island a few miles away, and was not much larger than his home. It was not nearly enough to contain all his need for adventure. He almost had the island mapped inside his skull when the leader of the revolution swept across the sea at night.

When the scourge came, he kidnapped the native animals, the flickies, and put them into the machines. Hypnotized within the machine, the flickies could do nothing but succumb to their new leader's orders.

And that, as the hero would say, was no good.

When the hero awoke, the world around him was in disarray. His fellows were nowhere to be seen, and he was, for the most part, on his own. After liberating flickies on the island and defeating the mad doctor in combat once, the rebel flew away in his state of the art flying machine, that functioned not much differently than a modern day helicopter. The hero had to give chase. Despite being all alone, he took the boat he arrived on the scene, battling the swine wherever he dare tread, and pushing them off the island. Finally, he drove into his metal fortress, and defeated the dreaded fiend. And he did it all within a day!

For his work, he won many awards, as well as the heart of the princess in the castle back in the capitol! All he did was rewarded fairly for defeating the heinous revolutionary known as Doctor Ivo Robotnik.

Ah, but this was not the last time this doctor was heard from again. He came back very soon, with an equally large force. But the hero also had gained a friend; a genius friend, as a matter of fact. One that rivaled the wit of the revolutionary himself. With their combined efforts, they continued to dismantle the plunders of the evil Robotnik, continued to gather more friends and rivals, and the hero still continued to weigh heavy on the heart of the princess.

Then, one day, the day after the doctor had been crippled in a large scale attack and relentless assault from the hero and his allies, she decided she couldn't take it anymore; she had to be with him. Now, the princess had much power through her parents, as they loved her so much. So, when she told them she wanted to meet with this hero, it was arranged. The hero's charisma glimmered like the emeralds he's used time after time, and his eyes shared the same gleam in their meeting, and it was then she knew her love was true. She told her parents she wanted to marry him. When the news was relayed to the hero, however, he was... less than pleased. The-

“Why?”

...

The father relaxed his elbows, letting the book plomp onto his lap with his hands still keeping the book open as he looked at her daughter. “Dear, it says why in the next sentence. Listen quietly, and I'll tell you why.”

The girl snuggled up underneath her blanket, eyes beading at him. The father chuckled, wondering what made young girls so different from young boys for a brief moment before bringing the book back up to read.

…

The boy had things he wanted to do with his life. Places to see, people to meet, he wanted to do things most people don't do, and he couldn't do that on a throne. And on top of that, he didn't love the princess, or at least not in the way she loved him. This did not stop the princess from trying to get him to love her, and ordering him to take her on dates was one of her favorites. The boy did not appreciate her efforts; although he liked her as a person, he did not see in her the soul mate he wanted.

And then, one day, the hero left; saying he was looking for the things in life that he wished he could find. Desperately, she sent out soldiers to try to catch him, but to no avail. The hero of the world was never seen again. Many say he found what he was looking for, whether it be things like the fountain of youth, love, or whatelse, and lived quietly under a different alias. Others say he died trying. But the hero will always be remembered by the kingdom for his service to the queen and country.

…

“That was sad.” The girl pouted.

The father shut the book. “Yes, yes, pity... but this is a special story, because it's true.”

“Really?” The child gasped.

“Haha, yes, yes. It happened about two hundred years ago. Now...” He yawned, picking the buck up, stretching his limbs away from his torso and leaning back in his chair, causing a few audible cracks. Promptly after these cracks, he slumped into a slouched position on the chair. “... my eyes are getting heavy. You have a big day tomorrow, darling. You turn seven tomorrow, and you don't want to be dozing off on your birthday, right?”

“No.” She answered, faking weariness. The father could see through it, yet was too tired to attempt to call her out on it.

“Good, sleep well, dearest.” The father bid quietly. He placed the book on the chair, and turned to the candle. He looked over to the candle, and rid it of the gentle fire with his breath. He slowly made his way over to the doorway, and finally shut the door.

As soon as the footsteps stopped, the daughter reached over and snatched the book. The darkness hiding its contents, she looked over to the candle, and set it afire with her breath. Able to read, she began searching the book fruitlessly for even implications of the hero liking the princess like that.

“Blaaaaaze.” Her father's call almost caused her to set the book afire.

p.s. this is canon in my sonicverse

[Anti Alias]

My mind is fulloffuck

for all effects Blaze Always came across as that kind of love interest that would unevitably get killed, pregnant or both. so your AU isn't all that crazy in my standards

[Mr. Awesomest]

OH LOOK THAT ONE SHOT THING GOT A SEQUEL kind of thing

Humpty Dumpty

The trooper smiled, having beaten the scourge once more. The perfectly round, eggshaped genius machinist in the red coat, black pants, and reflective blue eyeglasses. A handkerchief stuck out from his jacket pocket.

“It's over, Robotnik.” The blue hedgehog said, as the scientist rose from the destroyed machine in his flying contraption. “Your last card's been played. We have the Sol Emeralds, and the Master Emerald!”

“And,” The aged Ivo Robotnik grunted. “What of it?”

The eighteen year old blue hedgehog smiled. “It's more entertaining for me to have you know you'll be dropped into the capital city defenseless so you can get arrested without anything you can do.”

“My hero!” The girl behind him cried out. “Sonic!”

Sonic rolled his eyes, turning to the woman fawning over him from afar. She was a pink hedgehog with blue eyes, fifteen years old, wearing a light pink dress, and an endearing smile. One that he once felt annoyed by. For she was a princess, mad about the boy, and to him, a luxurious and extravagant ball and chain, wanting to wrap around his leg and imprison him to a life of political drama and responsibility. But as the days passed, the more Sonic saw her smile, the more he felt a sense of pity. Pitying how she fell so deep in the hole he took strides to avoid, and was trying to drag him in with her. He felt sorry that he will end up kicking her away, one day. Her name was Amy Rose.

“You tell him what for, Sonic!” A young, budding boy's voice cheered.

Sonic looked over to his left to see the boy close by. He was a yellow, two tailed fox. Eleven years old, and as brilliant as the mad scientist Robotnik in his sixties, donning an engineer's cap fitted tightly around his head, and with a determined expression. Sonic knew the boy well, the boy's determination was true, but his faults lie where his ability to get out there and do things on his own. He let others decide for him what he does, where he goes, and how he does it. Sonic knows its hard to teach a person how to be free, but he has come a long way. When he first found him, he was an orphan, called a mutant for his two tails, and always had something putting him down. Now, maybe five years later, while he may not be on top of the world, people respect him, and he was always on top of the situation. And for being his teacher, Sonic was proud. His name was Miles Prower, but Sonic had coined him a nickname; Tails.

“Get any closer to my Emerald, and I will scrap that thing you call a machine.” A third, strong voice growled at the round man.

And now, Sonic turned to his right, and looked up the altar of stone. There, atop the altar, was a red echidna, and a massive, rectangular emerald of the same color. The emerald, large and powerful, was the conduit of all the Sol Emeralds, and a powerful entity on its own. When it shatters, as it did twice, the pieces fly across the globe, landing anywhere the sun shines. Two entities live inside the large jewel; the spirit of an echidna girl, named Tikal, and the God of Destruction; Iblis. This massive gemstone was known as the Master Emerald.

The echidna that stood upon the Master Emerald was its guardian. At nineteen years old, he is the last of his kind. He was red, bearing a star-shaped white mark on his chest, and a hat with a band donning star shaped buckles. His gloved hands had spikes erupting from the back of them. His purple eyes and stern face had a solid defensive aura about it, earned from nearly two decades of guarding the mystical Master Emerald. He was job was a guardian was not flawless, for more than once this doctor had tricked him into working alongside him. His lack of social skill, as a result of his life alone on the island without anyone else to offer him company, had been the roots for this folly, and he has made much progress since then as well. He has learned who to trust, and how much he should trust each person. To Sonic's merriment, he had been the main cause of that development as well. His name was Knuckles.

Sonic turned to Ivo, looking around him while raising his hands to a shrug, before sending a look at the Robotnik. Ivo wasn't phased by this expression, so the hero flashed a grin. It was as cocky as always was.

“Doc, you haven't changed a bit. But us, we've all gotten better. We're beyond you. Whatever tricks you have up your sleeve just won't work, pal.”

Robotnik looked down at his adversaries from his mobile seat. He cast them all disgusted looks, before forging a smirk as his eyes laid upon the Master Emerald altar.

He reached below his seat, and withdrew a bottle of champagne. Ivo took off the cork, and withdrew the handkerchief from his pocket. Stuffing it down the bottle with a bit on the outside, he put the cork back on. He then pulled out a crude friction match, and struck it against its box.

Lighting the scrap of cloth on fire, he steered the machine to his left a bit. With the molotov cocktail in hand, he stood up to get a good look on the ground below. He smiled as he saw his target, and dropped the bottle.

Sonic watched as the doctor seemingly did absolutely nothing of importance, until the bottle hit the ground. Or rather, until it went below it.

The bottle crashed against the metal floor of a small tube in the ground through a subtle hole in the floor. The alcohol burned and spread down the pipe, the flames igniting the gunpowder before the drink itself washed it out.

“While you were getting here, I took the liberty of ensuring my victory, with backup plan to eliminate you. I had personally opened a hole in the shrine, and filled it with nitroglycerin.” Doctor Ivo Robotnik gladly enlightened the heroes of his actions.

A quick jolt of shock spread across their faces.

“Robotnik, you are crazy!” Amy shouted. “If you destroy the altar, the island will fall!”

“Precisely, but you're missing the point. It's not just the altar, either; as a matter of fact, I have points on the island where I've dug downward and placed enough explosive material to blow portions of the island away, in case the alter could not be blown. And the fuse to it all has been lit. I originally had something else planned, but there was a change of plans...”

At that point, Ivo's hand slowly rose to his face. The fingers lightly put themselves on the top and bottom of the blue, reflective glass.

And then, he took off his glasses.

Now showing their true colors, Ivo's eyes said many things a mouth cannot. His black and red eyes full of scorn, hate, and spite shot at Sonic, striking him with such intimidation, it outrivaled the entire prowess of any machine the madman has ever created.

“No one calls me “Humpty Dumpty”.”

And then, the scourge of Soleanna took his leave.

Sonic, realizing the altar was about to explode right next to him and his best friends, suddenly sprung into action. Attacking Robotnik would not stop the explosion, so he had to go after him later.

Instead of giving chase he turned around, and sprinted at Tails. The hedgehog tackled him, grabbing him with his left hand, keeping him in his arm as he ran on.

The explosion came swiftly. Rocks flew outward, slamming the two brothers to the ground, sending the Master Emerald and its guardian skyward. Smoke clouded the entire clearing, obscuring view past a small distance ahead of them. It became hard to breathe, and they could only think of one thing: escape.

Sonic got up first, with nothing that even resembled a stable balance. After two seconds of standing up, he fell onto one knee, and rested for a moment. His two tailed friend got onto his hands and feet, shaking his head to try to sort things out. Not three seconds later did Sonic snatch Tails' arm.

“Come on!” He said with urgency, running ahead. “We have to get to the ze-”

What may as well have been a meteorite slammed into the ground ahead of them, pushing all the dust out of its way and into the faces of the blue and yellow animals. When the dust was out of their eyes, they saw Knuckles on the illustrious red emerald.

“Phew!” The echidna sighed. “I was so sure I'd have to put this back together.”

Sonic began moving around the emerald. “Fantastic, but we have to get to the zeppelin! This island is starting to fall!”

As soon as he said that, the smoke slowly began to rise as the island fell downward. The trio quickly made off toward the jungles, set ablaze by the explosion. The other explosions would inevitably start more, so they wasted no time making their way to their zeppelin.

But at the altar, a certain someone regained consciousness.

“... Sonic...?”

…

The trio rushed through the forest with ease, as they've all been through this island many times now. They've all adapted to the vine swings, the massive hollowed out trees, and the oh so familiar traits of Angel Island. They all quickly managed to make it to the beach, where the Tornado airship was pinned to the ground. Sonic quickly plucked up the stakes holding the blimp down by ropes, dragging them behind him as he went. Tails began setting the controls to leave, and Knuckles set the large emerald down, sitting on it.

As it was about to lift from the ground, Sonic came by with the ropes, winding them up and throwing them inside. He walked on, wanting to get comfortable, sitting down on Master Emerald alongside Knuckles. As he sat, he felt warm, and relaxed. Invigorated, yet calmed. This ardor was not unfamiliar. Although it wasn't many, every time Sonic had touched the Master Emerald, he felt it passively giving him energy. He never tried to actively use its power, though. He only had the chance to touch it a stark few times, and when he did, Ivo was already defeated. Only now was he close to it while it was being contested over, and even then it was Knuckles who was on top of it. He was not even on the altar, he was on the ground with Tails and-

“Wait.” Sonic said, breaking from his relaxed state. His face was stricken with a tense, plain expression, but one could sense all the panic and agitation behind it as he looked to the ground, getting further and further away.

“What's wrong?” Knuckles said.

Sonic's expression exploded. “We forgot Amy!”

Tails was troubled. “I was going to say that Amy wasn't following us halfway on our way here, but I didn't want you to stop and go ba-”

An explosion's loud rumbling cut him short on his sentence, as the three of them turned to look. The small portion of the island they just took off from had became disconnected from the island.

“DAMMIT TAILS!” Sonic shouted, standing up, the hot power from the Master Emerald flowing through him as he began a spindash.

With quite some revving up, he launched outward, clearing the gap between the zeppelin and the main island. As he launched, he spurted some fire from beneath himself. Tails quickly noticed, but before he could scream about how dramatically flammable the airship was, Knuckles shifted the Master Emerald over the flames, snuffing it out.

As Sonic landed onto Angel Island, set ablaze by explosives, he stopped for just a moment to stare into the land ahead of him. Fiery forests was not something Sonic had adapted to with all his years of adventuring. The smoke can clutter his lungs, and the trees can fall, altering routes in the process of being taken. Not to mention he just jumped from his one surefire way out, and it is now far behind him and not nearly as fast as he is. The chance of rendezvous with it was slim. Once he secured the princess, what would he do then? Did Eggman have any more robots that he had hidden away in the island to ensure his safety?

Sonic could only give a somber, forlorn stare toward the immense odds stacked up against him, taking the form of a plummeting island with parts being amputated off by high amounts of explosives set afire.

But nothing would stand between him and what he wanted to do. No man, no machine, no sky, no sea.

“Welcome to Hell,” Sonic said to himself, before charging headlong into the fray.

Sonic ripped into full speed and began tearing through the flaming jungle. His suspicions were right, robots had been sent after him. The steam powered machines came flying from behind the flames and smoke, and just as quickly had they came into sight did they fall. Sonic had grown so accustomed to fighting Robotnik's machines, he was shredding through them as if they weren't even there. The urgency of the situation wasn't helping the robots survive, either.

Another rumbling shook the island as Sonic ran into the clearing of the Master Emerald's altar. Amy was there, hammer withdrawn, slapping away the cold hard hands of another of Ivo's controlled machines. It was lightweight, and judging by how there was a cage in the center, it seemed it was built for the sole purpose of kidnapping. As Sonic arrived on the scene, Robotnik's eyes widened.

“You,” The mad doctor growled. “...rrrRRRAPTIOUS RRRRRAPSCALION!”

Amy turned around at the doctor's first word. “Sonic, you came back!”

Knowing he was outmatched, Ivo ejected from the mechanical body. He launched himself into the crater where the altar was, deploying the rotor blades on his way down.

Sonic smiled back at Amy, but couldn't waste time. He began running at her, and he swooped her off her feet. Throwing her over her shoulder, the princess swooning all throughout, Sonic jumped down into the hole below after Robotnik.

The crater formed into a cave. Water was being pumped into the hole from deeper within, possibly to deter Sonic from going into it. Such a thing didn't bother him, though. Sonic sprinted through, hoping over small gaps dropping into a small rut where the water gathered, ran up the wall, along the ceiling, and swooped down the wall and through the door. Following Robotnik down the cave, Sonic jumped down a large hole after him.

The cave dwelling rabbits scattered as Sonic and Amy began plummeting to the ground. Sonic was a bit surprised with falling down a rabbit hole, but the chase had to go on. Sonic looked around, to be surprised a facility of some sort existed down here. He didn't notice Robotnik anywhere, but then he realized he wasn't quite on ground floor. He looked down, and there he was, riding into a building on the bottom of the cave. Without a second thought, Sonic jumped down after him.

It was then Sonic realized he had shaken the hive.

Hundreds of flying robots, perhaps a thousand. All of them came from the side. Sonic was amazed by the sight, as he was for once unable to see anything past the incoming wall of machines.

As soon as he hit the floor, Sonic high tailed it for the door, and made it just in time to see Ivo, grasping a lantern slide down a tube in his mobile. Sonic followed suit before he believed the machines would bring down the entire building upon him and Amy, spinballing down the tube.

As they went down, the light faded. The tunnel was pitch black. The only other light source was Ivo's lantern, beyond a corner. The pipe was large enough for Sonic to stand, so he ran onto his feet after the scientist, whiffing through the air as he made his dash.

The dull tan glow of Ivo's lantern highlighted his sickened snarl as he looked over his shoulder. Reaching underneath him once more, Ivo retrieved a flare gun as another light came into sight; one marking the next motherload of explosives. He popped down his goggles, and took aim into a hole that will immediately trigger the explosive. Robotnik fired the flaregun, with swell accuracy.

Before the explosion went off, Sonic went into another roll. Amy was finding her being carried by Sonic breathtaking in ways she didn't like. An over-encumbering cascade of noise and shockwaves rattled them, and the next part of the island was severed off. Robotnik flew out of the now disconnected and misaligned tube, using his rotors to navigate into the other end.

Sonic could not control his trajectory as well. Before being launched from the tunnel, Sonic saw a huge surge of water start flowing down between the cracks. He was going to be headed right into a waterfall. Alerted by this, and unable to stop at his speed, Sonic tried to brace for impact as he went airborne.

What neither the doctor or Sonic had anticipated was the lack of a rock wall behind the waterfall. Sonic had splashed through the wall of water, and found himself inside a large sanctuary of some sort. The design was familiar, definitely similar to the architecture of the Hidden Palace, but much more extravagant. Along the sides of his path were too many artifacts to count, and ahead of him a white floor, and an exit on the other side. The exit seemed very far off. Where was he, anyway, underneath the Ice Cap? Sonic wasn't sure the mountain was large enough to hold such a shortcut, although he didn't question it with such the extensive underground system this island had.

But what threw Sonic off about this entire place, which hardly surprised him in the slightest, was someone standing in his way, just before the white path began. He couldn't quite make out just who it was at this distance, but he was afraid he was going to find out.

“Hey!” Sonic cried out, as the figure raised its hand. “Get out of the-”

The following smack was so unexpected. It had the force to send him right back out through the waterfall, and onto the other disconnected part of the island. Strangely, it had not hurt in the slightest. Sonic lost his grip of Amy during the knockback, but she had fallen not far from him. When Sonic regained his senses, he saw the ice caps, sliding down the other side of the mountain as lava began to rupture from the new mountaintop.

“Er...” Sonic said, confused for a moment. “... Maybe that's not where I want to go.”

But he was confused just for a moment. He then noticed a saving grace nearby; the blimp. Tails had managed to get it caught in the draft and start riding it down. He was coming from the left, heading down. Sonic grinned, as a plan seemed to fall into place for him.

At the urgency of catching Robotnik, Sonic rolled backward onto his feet, and hoisted the princess getting onto her feet over his shoulder yet again. He was about to try to get into the tunnel once again, when he heard a ruckus coming from the crevice. Looking down there would reveal the hundreds of steam machines from before flying from tube to tube, presumably after him. And for a second, Sonic was thankful for the cosmic backhand he received moments ago.

When the last of the machines flew through, Sonic leaped, flung him and Amy in. He trailed the robots unnoticed as the rumblings of distant explosions blew off more parts of the island.

After a minute of tracing, the tube system ended, with only a short ways to go to the beach. Ivo was already flying down the beach, with the robots as escorts. They were being preoccupied by the incoming zeppelin, enough for Sonic to continue on at his speed.

“Humpty dumpty sat on a wall,” Sonic said to no one in particular. Amy grew delightfully curious as to why he said that.

Before her answer came, Sonic went down into a roll. In this roll, he let go of Amy, letting her move at her own pace. Sonic went right back onto his feet, grabbing a nicely sized, sturdy rock, before running on.

Bursting from the shade and into the bright sunlight and the beautiful view of the ocean from a mile above at a thirty degree angle, Sonic reared the rock back, and shouted at the doctor.

“HEY, EGGMAN!”

Eggman took his mind off the seemingly impending threat of the zeppelin with Tails and Knuckles on board to the too familiar voice behind him. He looked with his black and red eyes at the blue hedgehog, and it refocused on the rock headed toward him. Fairly quick himself, he ducked before it made contact.

However, it was never meant to get into contact with him.

This became evident when Ivo heard the unmistakable sound of metal snapping.

“I HATE YOU, SONIC THE HEDGEHOOOOOOOG!” Eggman screamed, whilst having a great fall.

Applause came from those inside the airship as it began soaring in front of him. The robots were of little threat to the zeppelin, the air pressure of the balloon making the airship impressively sturdy. As a matter of fact, they could serve as a use, as the heroes all knew well; a means to get back onboard.

As Sonic stood still, marveling at his toss, Amy can running past him, leaping from the beach and onto the machines. Sonic smiled, admiring her for a moment. Perhaps he didn't need to carry her all that way; maybe she can learn to handle herself.

Following her lead, Sonic followed Amy's trail, jumping from the sands of Angel Island for the last time. He attacked all the robots he could, homing onto each one, taking explicit care to destroy every single one that did not flee. While in the air, he looked down, eye caught by the beauty the sea had from this perspective. The perfect weather did nothing but help it all be so picture perfect.

Soon, the final robot flew into his way. Feeling the most satisfied he has ever felt, Sonic stomped onto this robot, and did not leap on board. Instead, he stood on it for a moment, before calmly walking on board, into the arms of his best friends.

Complete, Sonic turned, to see the Angel Island fall apart into the sea.

Two hundred years later, a curious sight washes upon Southern Island's shore. A blue hedgehog, and a two tailed yellow fox. Above them, two locals talk.

“Oi, what are you doin'?”

“I jus' foun' these two blokes, I don' know what ta do wit 'em yet!”

“How about bringin' 'em inside, fer starters?”

“I dun wanna carry 'em!”

“Well, you ought to. These two look like dey've done some good stuff in deir time. Look like heroes, don't dey?”

“... maaaybeee...”

“...”

“... I'monna poke 'em wit a stick.”

“Marine-”

“KYLOK, GO TAEK NOTES OFDA OCEAN, WHYDONTCHA!?”

!

[Mr. Awesomest]

THE FALL: INTERMISSION

When you read the words "Everything clicked in her head", go read "Goodnight" if you haven't. This is not an advertisement.

...

With a red flash, the blue hedgehog and lavender cat were warped into a strange, and yet familiar place. Little over half a year ago, they floated here in this place, fighting the Eggmen from their worlds in their powerful super forms. There was one thing that had went strangely unnoticed from their first trip here, though. In front of them, was a pearly white floor; a bridge, of some sort. On it, a man and a woman stood.

The woman was fine, and fair. She had the appearance of a thin, almost petite woman. She was wrapped in black thin, clean and refined cloth, and wore a golden mask. Behind the mask, eyes as yellow as sunlight. She carried a parrying dagger, and a sai. Her hair was snow white, and Her face was only a few shades toward peach. She seemed to glow with the yellow aura of the Sun.

Or, as the Sun was astronomically name, Sol.

The man, on the other hand, was a large, mustachioed man. Broad shoulders, thick arms, powerful posture, thick, faded black hair, topped with a crown, a diamond its centerpiece. He was dressed in thick clothes, topped with a blue and yellow jacket of which Polish Hussars took after, and pants with an equal amount of flair. He did not seem to have a weapon, but he could

You could say, He was her polar opposite.

The man passed agitated glares between those in the machine and the woman, whom was waving to the two pawns in their collective silence. She was smiling gently, however, the two time travelers detected She was hiding a much different intent behind Her face. Before the two time travelers could manage to get anything out of their mouths, they had been whisked away with a wave of the woman's arm, to their destination.

In the Exception, the realm between dimensions for the purpose of travel and fair game unbeknownst to all but two, the man and woman stand, having sent their anthropomorphic pawns on their way, as their separate contrasting, equally hateful plots in store sit at the ready to unfold.

"For your information, they'll be coming back through here once they decide to return to their time." The woman explained, Her hardly young voice unfaltering in sounding pompous and playful. "Due to the rules we set, we may not follow them into the future and observe their actions... Unless we can come to an agreement."

"No." The man answered, His voice powerful and full of contempt. "We've already bent the rules enough. I don't want either of us going back because of flaws again, even if we both would benefit from such a thing." He said this as He reminisced the last time they agreed to bend the rules; Tactically, He had the upper hand, but the absurdity of the situation in His realm was embarrassing, and had unsatisfactory future consequences. At least She would have some dignity as Her world began its descent into a hell.

That was the objective of their little game, after all.

Plunging the others world into chaos.

"You must be very confident with your world, in its current state." The woman replied.

"Indeed I am..." The mighty man said, His head held high. "... Solaris."

She despised His headstrong, stubborn mannerisms in ways words could not describe. With a disheartening glare, She sent Her gaze upon the back of His head. "As thick-headed as ever, Polaris."

"What is it you have in store for us now?" Solaris, the All-Powerful God of the Sol Dimension, riddled. "More blatant propaganda? For your world, or against mine?"

"You shall see," Polaris, the All-Powerful God of the Chaos Dimension, answered, a wicked smile stretching across His face. "In due time."

When the blazing sun is gone,

When there nothing shines upon...

Solaris grimaced, for He could be so unpredictable and irrational at times. It was hard to see into the dark world of His mind, even with Her being a god. Their powers were limited in this place between their domains. Even so, there was always the little specks of truths, scattered about that dark, empty head of His. To destroy those waves upon waves of little sparks in His head built around contempt, xenophobia and killing, the objective was not destroy Him at the game.

She had to destroy the game itself.

Though I know not what you are,

Twinkle, twinkle, little star...

...

The amount of frustration she was having was unparalleled. Imagine reading a book. A good–no, great book. You love it, you love the characters, the dialogue, how easily you can picture it in your head; the perfect novel. It's really special for you because of how the characters are similar to your real life friends and enemies. It's like you and your friends are the main characters, no insertion needed. Now, imagine the last few pages of that book being burnt to an unreadable crisp, along with the libraries containing more copies of the book as well as the internet, so that you'll never know the true ending.

This is precisely how Blaze felt when she reached the end of her copy of "Of Mice and Men".

"Don't worry," Silver assured, "We'll find a library."

"We're both superpowered beings capable of high speeds, and we can't even get out of this city in a month, let alone however long it's been. What makes you think that we will find a library, full of flammable books, when there's a fire demon that burns with a heat so intense, fire stretches over the ground thirty blocks around it?" Blaze retorted.

The two were seeking refuge on the a ground floor of a large factory building, choosing to rest behind a counter. The rooms for production were commonly searched through by other more aggressive survivors, and their location hid them well enough to ensure them peace of mind. While close to the monstrous demon, the demon was sleeping, and thus flames had retracted to only his immediate vicinity. Sometimes, it was actually possible to tell if it was day or night, but only when Iblis sleeps, so the smoke does not completely blanket the city. These clouds obscuring the sky would reflect the flames of disaster, acting as the city's main light source. When he is awake, the night is starless, and when he is asleep, it is bible black.

Silver turned to Blaze, laying down with her head against the counter, tiny flame alight to illuminate her book. Also in his field of vision was the outside, which had a small building, with a high metal flame-resistant wall built around it to protect it from flames. The outside was black, with only a dim red light of Iblis' passive flames.

"Well, we'll just do the same thing we always did: Proceed in the same direction we've been headed." Silver answered, not exaggerating their plan of action in the slightest. Except they had changed direction when they hit the giant impassable wall known as "the ocean". "We've got to come across a few libraries this way, and if we don't find one, we'd be walking right out of this place. After that we'd go to some other town, and look for library there. But until then, I guess you have to-"

A bright red light flashed, originating from the walled in building. It stopped him as he was finishing his sentence. Blaze sensed the disturbance on his face and speech, and put the book down, slowly standing up.

"... Wait." Silver finished, gazing at the mysterious building.

As a side note, the white hedgehog had just realized that the two wandering travelers managed to wind up back to the spot they had first met. Well, first met formally. Names introduced and that. However, that was irrelevant. The fact this is where they decided on their plan on heading in one direction and keep going that way was causing the two to seriously doubt their sense of direction.

...

The two time travelers landed in Tails' workshop, two hundred years into the future, both filled with wonder, and empty on air.

"Woah, was that Freddie Mercury and Lady Gaga?" Sonic gasped, abandoning logic and reason and just trying to place the faces.

"Mercury, as in, the classical music composer?" Blaze asked, remembering the name.

Sonic was silent for a moment. Taking a large breath in, he responded. "Holy crap, I love your world."

"He's dead."

"... as much as mine."

The two then acknowledged the outside world. Tails' workshop was dirty, well aged, and the room was cleared other than the litter cluttering the floor. Judging by the looks of things, it seemed the time machine was functioning as planned.

Sonic smiled. "Alright, so far so good. Maybe Silver at this point in time knows what's going on with all these Silvers."

Sonic slid the door open, and walked out. Yep, this was the future alright. Looking out a window, he only saw a tall, metal fence; not much other than that, though. There wasn't much light at all; all this place had was a dim crimson light. Must be night. In response to the darkness, Blaze lit a large flame in her hand, softly illuminating the room. She shivered, her fire bursting in size as she did, for a short moment. This room seemed all too familiar.

"Let's find out where we are, exactly." Sonic stated. "That fence has me curious."

The workshop's construction remained the same; nothing was added, or destroyed, for that matter. Sonic noticed there was one thing that survived the test of time, and strangely, wasn't looted; a map, featuring the world, and pins marking each of Tails' various workshop locations. He had several on the continent. One just outside –where they currently were– Station Square, another outside Central City, one near the Mystic Ruins, and so forth. He was working on other workshops in other areas. It looks like it happens, at least a little bit, since the map had been updated. There were lone workshops in Spagonia, Holoska, and Mazuri. All were connected by strings, which weren't there at first.

Perhaps some wanderer stumbled his way around the world, and started charting these workshops. Or something. Sonic thought, turning his attention away from it, and out of the door.

Outside, he was greeted with an annihilated city, the only light for miles around being fires and a large red light reflecting of pitch black smoke clouds. The ground was hot, and the sky was dark, other than that red light in the sky. Buildings were barely distinguishable, appearing in a two color scheme of crimson and black.

"Looks like Crisis City..." Sonic stated, looking for an opening in the metal walls that encircled the building. Blaze followed him out, and nodded, confirming the fact. He's been wondering where exactly he had gone through this before; and more importantly, how she remembered it.

He made his way around the workshop, and came across some weird chute-like object. Perhaps it was related to the updated map? Sonic tried playing with the console, to receive nothing. Although enticed with the possibilities the strange hole had, he wanted to find Silver. With a kick, he left the curious machine laying dormant, to be used by someone who has a key or something.

Finally, Sonic had came across the gate. Joyed that it wasn't locked by a stupid techno-key or something, instead taking the form of a water-proof valve system. This choice in design would have gotten Sonic curious about his immediate surroundings, if he didn't know for a fact the outside was most certainly not flooded. Spinning it open, he looked over at Blaze.

"You knew there were two Silvers. I want to know what the reason you didn't tell us this is before we go back." Sonic told her.

Blaze's expression immediately became frustrated as she tried to retort. "I..." She hesitated, looking at the ground, in shame.

Fully opening the door, he walked into the apocalyptic city. Yep, definitely Crisis City. However, the fire was gone. For a brief moment he wondered why, but this question was interrupted immediately by important matters. Sonic had just seen Silver walking toward him from inside a building. But it wasn't him who was all that important.

It was his companion.

Sonic did a double-take.

"What?" Blaze asked as she made it out next to the hedgehog, the fire in her hand shining brightly on the two of them in the very dark city.

Sonic pointed. "This is why you need to tell me about things."

Silver gasped. "What?"

"... Oh great." Blaze the vagabond groaned to Silver. "Look at what your time traveling has... wrought, on us. I told you not to trust that Mephi-"

"Look, we'll just go up and ask them what their problem is!" Silver assured.

"Sonic, did you know about this?" Blaze the princess asked Sonic.

"I..." The blue hedgehog shook his head. "NOPE." He announced.

The two groups met in the middle of the street, too perplexed for past rivalries to be even taken into account.

"Who are you?" The Blaze at Silver's side asked the cat at Sonic's.

"NO." Sonic interjected with a booming voice. "It's obvious she's Blaze, and it's obvious you're Blaze. Let's avoid the "there can only be one" battle and the arguments. For now, at least."

The two Blazes looked at each other, paranoid, and not entirely accepting.

"I know it's going to sound crazy coming out of my mouth, but let's try to think like rational people for a moment, and ask the both of you questions." Sonic stated.

The rest of the confused quartet awaited Sonic's survey. Taking the silence as yes, Sonic turned to the cat to his side.

"You aren't shying your way out of this one." Sonic said, laughing. "Alright, you said you've been here before. What was that about?"

Blaze looked down. "To put a long story as short as it gets..." She sighed, and began to explain. "The scientists of my world want to be able to keep up with Eggman Nega, for a couple reasons. Other than the fact that they don't want to be left behind technologically, Eggman Nega is a genius. He can become a master in fields where we had no idea where to even begin. And so, after Eggman Nega crossed over into your world, they decided it was time to try to replicate his results..."

The cat girl paused, taking a breath in, her exposition being long.

"… Needless to say, it failed."

...

Blaze looked around, completely unfamiliar with the environment. Litter, bits of dust, and such cluttered the room. This was confusing at first, but had a simple explanation: Perhaps the equivalent of the science lab back home in Soleanna is an unused building in his dimension? No worries. Everything's fine.

She stepped out of the pod, very conservative in the use of her fire to light the room, only barely enough. After locating the doorway, she left the room, but as she got to the door to the outside world, she could tell something was wrong. The heat was extraordinary, and the inconsistent brightness and loud crackling was hinting at the world outside. Must be a big fire, but nothing that can't be quelled.

She opened the door, and was greeted by a tall metal wall, surrounding the entire building. It was tall enough she could not see over, however, all of what she could see over the wall was ruins. Buildings with large chunks missing, large chunks with buildings missing, and black clouds obscuring the sky. It looked like the scene of heavy warfare, or worse-

Blaze's heart skipped a beat.

Where did everyone go!? She had thought.

Blaze rushed to the gate with the water-tight valve system. She knew for a fact there wasn't water on the other side of this wall; quite the opposite.

She spun the valve as quickly as she could, and when she threw the door open, she wasn't expecting the fire to get blown into her face. Frightened but not at physical risk, she stumbled back. She stomped on the ground, stopping the fire from flying at her, and putting out the fires blasted onto the house.

Gasping for oxygen through all this thick air, all she saw in front of her was fire. Her mind raced.

Cream, Tails, Sonic, where are they?!

Blaze made her way out the gate, the fire receding in her immediate presence. She closed the door behind her, and rushed inside a building where she could look around, hoping to spot the blue blur soaring through the destroyed city, maybe even with Tails and Cream in tow.

But no, as she scaled the building, all she saw was fire. Fire stretching across all the city's streets, growing more and more intense as it reached the center, which had almost been completely cleared, and the light was grossly incandescent. Growing more and more worried with each floor, she began making her way to the rooftops to search on foot for them.

Maybe their fighting is what caused all this... though the concept of a city's ground on fire is all too... familiar...

When she finally got to the rooftops, Blaze saw something in the distance. A giant, flying robot, and someone fighting it. The color scheme of the robot was easily recognizable; it was of Eggman Nega's work. Blaze was surprised to see Nega able to attack Sonic's world so soon after the first attack, and, if this was all his work, so successfully.

If he was the cause of all this, he will pay.

Blaze began sprinting toward the battle, ready to tear the machine apart with her friend. As she ran, the flying machine moved, and so did the combatant. At one point, it flew off the building, and the fighter jumped over the fiery pits and slammed onto the machine.

As it seemed, this action disturbed Him. With a powerful roar, Blaze stopped dead in her tracks to give a jaw dropped gaze at the powerful monster, formerly hidden amongst the flames, as it rose screaming at the two belligerents.

Iblis didn't not like anything that doesn't cackle and burn near him.

Iblis!? The God of Destructio- I thought it was sealed in the Royal Emerald!?

Blaze was stunned. The implications of this were many, and few made sense. While she was still, pondering the implications and how this could have happened, her eyes could only follow the movements of the large monster as it smashed the machine away from its domain with a powerful heavy fist.

As the machine was hit, she sprung back into a sprint toward them.

The giant machine was heat resistant, and wasn't smashed completely. The combatant was still latched on as it flew back toward the rooftops, by a stroke of luck. He jumped off onto solid ground before the mech crashed into a building.

Eggman Nega's machine recovered quickly, and it was badly damaged. The fat man in his machine floated over to his enemy, ready to unleash all the tricks up his sleeve. At this point, Blaze had jumped from a building onto a lower rooftop, with destroyed building obscuring her view of the fight from there.

As she leaped from that building to a large hole in the one immediately next to where the fight was taking place, a victorious explosion sounded. She quickly made her way through the charred structure, and saw the black coated doctor burst into view through one of the destroyed windows. He was flying away in his Eggmobile. Enlightened by the sight, she ran over to the window, ready to greet Sonic.

Oh, I was worrying over nothing. Sonic's too good to fall in such a short time...

"Hey, S-"

Blaze stopped as she saw the scene.

The hawk-like machine was stuck face down, with the back part blown out. Bits of the wings were on the ground, and a pole was sticking through the torso. That was all typical, except for the pole. It seems the pole was launched at it as a javelin- as far as she knew, Sonic didn't like weapons. Then she noticed that the person who fought Eggman Nega was not Sonic at all.

The white hedgehog turned to the call.

"Uh, hey...?" Silver responded. "Who are you?"

The lavender cat was subtly shaking as she realized that there was no logical explanation for any of this.

A painful moment of silence passed. When it was getting too much, Silver began talking. "Hey, weren't you-"

Blaze bolted away.

She simply gave up trying to understand.

Knowing Silver was chasing after her, Blaze didn't bother to look back to see how far behind he was. She just ran for home. She got to the building just near the walled sanctuary from the flames. The cat jumped from the ledge, and out of the corner of her eye she saw someone standing on another building. While she began to turn her head, she landed right on the small shack's roof. She clumsily rolled off and landed on the ground, collapsing as she landed.

The recovery was swift, as she ran inside the house. As Blaze located the room with the machine, a thud sounded, meaning whoever she saw there, they chased her. Without missing a step, she hopped into the capsule, and slammed the door shut. The shutting of the door with someone detected inside the machine triggered the return system.

Relieved, soon to be gone from this world and back to her home, Blaze looked through the glass as the mysterious person from before came through the doorway, and saw her.

Both their jaws dropped as they saw each other. They were each other. The two Blazes looked at each other with an awestruck and confused stare.

"What...?" Blaze the wanderer said, moving closer to the pod at the peril of Blaze the princess.

Before any more questions, comments, and most certainly answers could arise, the pod and its passenger flashed out of existence, no longer of this world.

And that's when Silver came in.

...

"When I got back to the labs, I didn't say a thing. I thought it would be better to have them not know, because it was all so hard to put into words and none of it made sense." Princess Blaze stated. "Plus, I was in a bit of... denial."

"Hey!" Silver interjected. "That's how me and Blaze here began sticking together! I came in on her just after that flash. She turned around ready to incinerate me, but we've helped each other out before, and we decided we'd stick together."

The princess stood there, quiet.

"So, I guess you deserve a thank you." Silver said. "Without you... er, her, but you too, I probably would have been killed by now."

As if on cue, a crack accompanied by a soft gusty sound was heard by the four. They turned to the sound's origin to see a blue fire coming out of the side of a building, many blocks away.

"Speak of the devil, here she comes." Silver complained, as a figure jumped onto the street, details of it unrecognizable at the distance.

Sonic smirked. "Don't worry, I can handle her-"

"Oh no you CANNOT handle her." Vagabond Blaze interrupted. "Not even the Flames of Disaster burn as hot as hers. She cannot be quelled. You're best going home."

"Do you know who I am?" Sonic interrogated.

"A cocky blue dork who doesn't know how to live here." The cat retorted. "Now go."

The princess was a bit distraught by her other self's behavior. "Hey, don't be-"

"... Cocky blue DORK!?" Sonic shouted, pointing his finger at the cat as he began to advance. "I stopped a sentient barrel of lard from taking over the world on several accounts, defeated at least four giant monsters that probably make Iblis cower in fear, destroyed more giant mechs than you both have seen living people," Sonic was now immediately in front of her, on his toes to tower the shorter catgirl. He was poking the center of her chest as he raved on. "... I've beat almost everyone I've ever befriended in a fight, and I've done this all in the past three years, on a monthly basis! I could grab Silver there by his hairdo and wipe this city's collective clock! Send 'em into next week! How about I slap you senseless with my dorky, BLUE-"

At that moment Sonic was thrown over the wall by Silver's psychic prowess.

"I-I don't need a ride." The princess nervously negotiated with the white hedgehog, before running toward the gate. As soon as she was past it, Silver shut the door behind her from a distance. Without any other delays, Silver and Blaze then ran off into the city.

Blaze turned to Sonic, who was sitting on his rump, crossed arms. He was commenting on his own rant.

"Should have just said that Gorilla Warfare thing."

"Sonic, seriously?" Blaze consternated, standing over him. "When they told us to leave, we should have just left, not shout at them for a whole thirty seconds. We're not from here, we should take advice from people who are."

"Your concern is understandable, but I am not a dork." Sonic retorted, rising to his feet. "And not being from somewhere hasn't stopped me from doing anything."

Sonic led the way back toward the time machine through the shack, as Blaze went on.

"Okay, but, you're still flawed. You can't really grab someone by their hair and beat others with it." Blaze argued. "Don't you feel you've been more arrogant, lately?"

Sonic, realizing the mistakes, accepted the criticism. "Yeah, but it was a joke mostly... Hey, since there's two of you and Silver, I'm kinda wondering what my double was like. Any ideas?"

The cat girl played with the thought. Since this dimension's Blaze was in the future by two hundred years, her dimension's Sonic would maybe be two hundred years ago.

Sonic went up to the machine and opened the door. He turned around, to see Blaze had stopped. He could tell by her eyes, she was deep in thought.

Everything had just clicked together in her head.

Blaze shifted her gaze back up at the hedgehog she knew to be a hero. A young, brash boy, sometimes brazen, sometimes noble. A heads and tails man; on the heads side, smiles, rambunctious and daring, and on the tails, distant, collected, and observant. Places he wanted to see, people he wanted to meet. Charisma glimmering like the emeralds he used, and his eyes sharing their color.

My God.

"What's wrong?" The trooper before her asked.

The girl snapped out of her nostalgic memories of bedtime stories, and answered shyly. "... Nothing."

Sonic blinked, entirely sure that was not the case, but said nothing as he walked into the time machine.

She returned to her thoughts for a moment. She had just got caught hiding something from her friend, because she couldn't figure out how to say it, and it wasn't something minor. It was big. And yet, here she was, doing it again, not even minutes afterward. It was a disgrace, she criticized herself. She had to chew it up, spit it out, and quit beating around the bush.

But trying to conjure the words at the moment, she couldn't find the right ones. Ones that wouldn't fumble out of her mouth. As a person of popularity and political weight, she usually had hours, or even days of time before she had to come right out and comment. On the spot response was most certainly not her strong suit, and she wanted to fix that. She knew she had to fix it. She had to tell him, instead of keeping it hidden. It's bound to get out anyway, just like her experience in this city.

But that was some other time. This is now, and now she was speechless. Her moment of contemplation was for only a moment, and she followed Sonic into the time machine.

Sonic shut the door behind her.

"Alright, so the future of my dimension is fucked." Sonic stated. "Everyone's assumptions on dimensions have been completely debunked. And on top of that, we're not counterparts. In that effect, neither are Eggman and Eggman Nega. That kinda came from nowhere."

Blaze wondered. She thought about why Eggman and Eggman Nega hadn't already figured this out, but then she remembered how Nega was a backstabbing insane man with an ego to upkeep. "Shouldn't we tell them? Our friends? Although, telling them would probably result in word reaching the Eggmen..."

Sonic nodded. "You're right. Some words slip by, and we could be fighting two sets of Eggmen and Eggman Negas." The blue blur recalled his previous adventure, laughing as he went on. "All we'd need to do is get our counterparts and we'd be set. I wouldn't be too fine about meeting a third me, though. We got me, Classic me, Sol me, and then what? Classic Sol me? This is starting to get pretentious."

Blaze couldn't keep herself from giggling.

"And what have you got? Oh, I know. Neo Blaze. Chaos Blaze. Super Neo Chaos Burning Blaze. I give up." Sonic rode the joke out until its very death. "Anyway, getting serious now. I don't think telling everyone about this is a good idea, because telling two geniuses the truth will have them try to exploit it. And then what I just joked about would be a real thing. Tactically, it's the better decision not to."

"But you just told me about how I should speak up about these kinds of things." Blaze argued.

Sonic responded, his face expressing concern over how he was sounding. "I understand, but this is information that could help the Eggman more than us. Your situation, from how you would have saw it then, was that you saw your nemesis fighting a rival prince in a torn up version of my world. If it was actually that, and not something else, you should have spoke up. Good thing you didn't though, now that we found out no one you befriended was in any danger at all."

Understanding, Blaze nodded. "I see now." She murmured.

"Alright, good." Sonic replied. "As far as everyone is concerned until we meet them again, this event never happened."

For a moment, she tried wrapping her head around it all. She found all of this out of the blue, as one should. It answered some questions, but left more questions. Many questions, she figured, that couldn't be found by speculation.

Sonic, although you couldn't read it from his face, had the same thoughts running through his mind. There was an itching feeling in the back of his mind, some primordial instinct, telling him that he had fallen deep into something else entirely. Telling him that he shouldn't have done this. Telling him, "You've met a terrible fate, haven't you?"

Knowing there was a bigger picture afoot, but was in the shadows all this time to their spots in the details, they moved on.

"Ready to go back?" Blaze asked.

"Yeah." Sonic said. "Let's get outta this place."

Sonic walked up to the red, pill-shaped button, and pressed it. As the machine broke back into life, Sonic couldn't help himself.

"You can be such a dick sometimes, Blaze." Sonic joked.

"Oh, her?" Blaze caught that he meant the other Blaze. "Well you'd be like that too if you were alone in a wasteland where everyone wants to kill you."

Sonic responded quickly. "I figured that, but she has Silver, who from my experience is a naïve vigilante wannabe. How come she hasn't ripped him open yet?"

"Oh." Blaze replied. It was starting to become weird, talking about herself like this. "Maybe he's all she has. I mean, I have Marine, Cream, and you, plus I have a country to lead so I really couldn't care for the Silver from my world, but really, it seems he's all she has left... that, and it would be bad to just leave him to go her own way, because both of them would suffer for it."

"So, like a... a George and Lennie kinda thing?"

Blaze didn't get it. "What?"

"Nevermind."

Sonic walked up to the glass. Same spot he was before. The machine was getting close to being sent back, as made obvious by the noises growing ever louder by the second, and he certainly did not forget the strangers from the other side. He stood at the door, waiting to get a good long look at them.

Blaze managed to gather the courage to walk up next to him. "That place..."

Sonic rose an eyebrow. "Hm?"

Blaze crossed her arms. "The place where those two people were, that was the dimensional rift ."

"Yeah, what of it?" The hedgehog responded, looking over at her.

"How did they get there? When we were there, you didn't see anything like that, did you? Who are they?" Blaze turned her head to him, an uneasy look on her face. "What are they?"

Sonic noted how the machine was about to make the jump through time.

"Well there's not much we can do. One thing we can do," He turned his head to the outside. "... is ask them."

With a tremendous flash, they were there once more, in that rift in space, before the mysterious couple. This time, the man was smiling proudly, but not as much to look immensely smug. The woman watched the other with cautious stare.

"Hey!" Sonic shouted. "Who are you two?!"

The man was preparing his response, when the woman came in front of him, smiling mischievously and intending to steal his thunder. Not letting that happen, He gripped Her shoulder with a mighty hand and threw Her out of the way, looking at Her with a contemptuous stare that could be felt by the two in the machine.

His prideful expression returned as He looked back at the time travelers.

"We are people who care for you." Polaris said. "Our actions reflect upon you greatly."

Sonic and Blaze ogled disconcertingly at the man, not satisfied with that immensely vague answer.

"Now I can tell you'd want more answers, but she's the one who invited you in here, and honestly, you two can piece together a lot with what you have right now." He stated. "She won't be sending you back here on my watch. To get more answers from me, you'll have to find your own way here for a proper, formal meeting. You in particular have before, Sonic. Now..."

The man rose his hand, bobbing His fingers up and down to bid farewell. Then, He swiped his hand.

"Begone."

...

Sonic walked up to the glass. Same spot he was before. The machine was getting close to being sent back, as made obvious by the noises growing ever louder by the second, and he certainly did not forget the strangers from the other side. He stood at the door, waiting to get a good long look at them.

Blaze managed to gather the courage to walk up next to him. "That place..."

Sonic rose an eyebrow. "Hm?"

Blaze crossed her arms. "The place where those two people were, that was the dimensional rift ."

"Yeah, what of it?" The hedgehog responded, looking over at her.

"How did they get there? When we were there, you didn't see anything like that, did you? Who are they?" Blaze turned her head to him, an uneasy look on her face. "What are they?"

Sonic noted how the machine was about to make the jump through time.

"Well there's not much we can do. One thing we can do," He turned his head to the outside. "... is ask them."

With a tremendous flash, they were there once more, in that rift in space, before the mysterious couple. This time, the man was smiling proudly, but not as much to look immensely smug. The woman watched the other with cautious stare.

"Hey!" Sonic shouted. "Who are you two?!"

The man was preparing his response, when the woman came in front of him, smiling mischievously and intending to steal his thunder. Not letting that happen, He gripped Her shoulder with a mighty hand and threw Her out of the way, looking at Her with a contemptuous stare that could be felt by the two in the machine.

His prideful expression returned as He looked back at the time travelers.

"We are people who care for you." Polaris said. "Our actions reflect upon you greatly."

Sonic and Blaze ogled disconcertingly at the man, not satisfied with that immensely vague answer.

"Now I can tell you'd want more answers, but she's the one who invited you in here, and honestly, you two can piece together a lot with what you have right now." He stated. "She won't be sending you back here on my watch. To get more answers from me, you'll have to find your own way here for a proper, formal meeting. You in particular have before, Sonic. Now..."

The man rose his hand, bobbing His fingers up and down to bid farewell. Then, He swiped his hand.

"Begone."

Tails blinked, and they were back.

"Well that was fast." Tails joked. He began asking, anticipating the results. "How did it go? What'd you do there?"

Blaze was speechless, but thankfully Sonic knew what to say. His eyes darted about before taking a big breath in, and groaning. "OH COME OOONNN, MAN!"

Tails was slow to accept that implication. "What happened? I-it didn't work?"

Sonic internally marveled how what he said was a proper reaction to what just happened and what Tails thought just happened."No, it didn't." Sonic sighed, swinging the door open. "Not even for a second."

"I was sure you had left." Tails replied, his ears drooping down. "Well, that was a waste."

Sonic sensed Tails' disappointment coming in. To counter this, the blue dude went over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, don't take it to heart, man! It's just a prototype! After all, you did hot-wire it to something that wasn't meant for it."

Feeling bad, Blaze tried to join in. "Yes, and you-"

Without drawing attention to himself from Tails, Sonic stuck a finger to his lips and mouthed "shoosh". Blaze got the message fairly quickly. Tails heard it and thought it was for him.

A couple apologies are due. First of all, I thought I'd be able to pump this out the week after the Chapter 6+Interlude update, but I screwed up in places and it needed rewriting, so sorry for the long wait. I failed there. Second, I'd like to announce that things are stacking up and I need to address them. If you couldn't tell, I've had this part in my head for a while now. WAY before I started working on this story, actually, so I'll be damned if I didn't finish this thing. How much stuff I put into this thing is so not funny, it started being hysterical on the account of shock humor.

[Anti Alias]

cocky blue dork

dorky blue....

yeeeeeaaahhh.....

awesome as always.

[Mr. Awesomest]

I just did this random thing after beating Dark Souls.

The slowly hollowing undead burst from the white fog, fiercely gripping his estus flask in his hand, snarling through his teeth. This scheme to get this one stubborn knight's equipment did not go as planned. He was chased by the man with the most sound set of armor in all of Lordran; Havel the Rock. The undead thought he would not bother ascending the stairs due to the immense weight of the armor, but no, up he goes with all the force and presence of a boulder ascending uphill, if that could ever make sense.

Hearing his pounding footsteps inside the stone tower drawing closer, the undead sprinted across the battlements. The shopkeeper was spewing a whole lot of incoherent babble when he bought the key items for his quest, something about a goat demon below, his piece of trash wife named Yulia, a humongous drake, and something else. He had an itching feeling he was about to find out.

And then it jumped from the top of the other tower, blocking his path, as if the other fog wall on the other side was not enough. A massive behemoth, stood on two legs, covered in fur, horns larger than the hallow and an axe big enough be considered a siege weapon.

Before the undead could turn, he heard him pass through the fog wall. Oh shit, he can do this now!? Throwing a quick passing glance, he confirmed his fears; Havel was here, in all his stone-armored, ground-shaking, dragon-tooth-swinging glory.

The undead had never quite got the term stuck between a rock and a hard place as much as he did now. Was he to deal with the golem of satanic muscle, or the golem of chiseled stone? In his pause, he bounced around on his feet to a stop, letting both parties draw near. When he finally decided to act, the Taurus Demon was in full swing with its mighty axe.

The undead rolled between the monster's legs, and turned around, shield raised and backpedaling swiftly. A moment later, he noticed that something else had caught his eye. A rare smile popped onto the zombie face of his. The demon's interests have shifted to Havel.

At first the undead's thoughts scattered, some parts thinking that the demon had thought Havel was a more worthy opponent, to perhaps the demon was beginning to repent its sins and become an ascended demon. These thoughts were stopped by the reality of the situation, and the sound of a massive cushioned blow. Havel landed a square hit on the Taurus Demon, who recoiled painfully. The undead knew from experience, it would be able to withstand two, maybe three hits. Depends on how Havel hits him.

This sent a fury into the undead. Being hard to kill was one thing, chasing him was another, but the possibility of stealing his kill...

Havel swung once more, missing this time. The Taurus Demon was cautious about this new foe, and thought the environment could be of some use, eying the gap in the battlements. But it was at that moment, when the stone knight was recovering from his own attack, did the undead come charging at him, slapping him with his sword. Havel did not even flinch as his attention switched from the large demon to the fickle little imp of a man. The undead strafed around him, staying out of reach and getting dangerously close to the battlements. In order to get within range, Havel had no choice but to advance closer.

This is when the Taurus Demon took its cue. With a hefty swing, he swung his axe horizontally at the two. The undead was swift, and had his eyes on the Demon, not the knight. Regardless, when he tried to roll, he was hit, and slammed into the battlements. Havel, despite his immense poise and posture, had been displaced. The demon's greataxe's collision with Havel's armor sent recoil to the Taurus, having to pull back his axe.

The undead made a swift recovery, and looked at the stone knight as he made his descent. A quick glance at the Taurus Demon showed his fascination wouldn't be the end of him, for his enemy also shared the same curiosity. Judging from where the knight was falling to, the Undead would say that sooner or later he'll have to go looking for the corpse, and hope no one gets near him. The souls for the kill should come to him pretty soon, though. The undead chugged an estus, and let out a sigh of relief.

Only to be reawakened by a crossbow bolt whizzing by his head. In a state of urgency, he turned to the source and saw two hollowed warriors on top of the tower he came from, and –most importantly– a ladder leading up there. A quick exchange of looks was all it took to set the battle back into motion, and as the undead began climbing the ladder, he began to wonder–

“Why haven't I gotten my souls yet?”

Because, oh so ignorant and virgin undead, you can't stop the rock. No one can stop the rock.

Not even Havel himself can stop the rock.

Havel fell down the cliffside, almost certain of his doom. He hit the ground, and began to tumble, the weight of the suit slowly but surely being added to the momentum. Soon, he wasn't just tumbling, he found himself being tossed from the cliffside, using his hands and feet to make sure he was still touching something. He tried with all his might to break the speed, but it was working itself now. He could, however, manage himself while falling. When he was moments away from the ground, he was flipping on his hands and feet as a ninja would in a situation which needed finesse. Except Havel's situation was the exact opposite, his flipping being the result of masterful clumsiness and lack of control.

Havel was sure that when he finally hit the ground, he'd hit hard, and get crushed beneath the weight of his own armor. But now, the cliff he was on was smoothly filleted into the forest below; no sudden stops that most people fear when they look down below. All the speed, all the momentum, and the sheer weight, all thrown together in a package similar to that of a large man, became a force to be reckoned with.

The first of his many victims was the peaceful mushroom men. When first looking at the silver ball coming toward them, they thought Alvina had started taking notes from the Great Felines just below. But now, what they received was a full introduction to Havel the Rock, and as the Rock flew through them, they were pulverized.

Ricocheting off several trees, Havel's trajectory had changed course. He was now headed straight for the grave of Artorias.

Bouncing off the bridge once or twice, causing it to shake and lose some stones from its structure, Havel flew through the fog wall and slammed into the Greatsword of Artorias. In the background, Sif yelped, in the fear of the prized sword shattering. But no, instead of breaking, it bent backward, in an uncanny resemblance to a catapult.

And like a catapult it was.

The undead checked his surroundings as he proceeded through the doorway. To his left was a balcony, with not much seemingly on it. To the right, he eyed a small horde of enemies blocking a bonfire.

Bonfire. All he needed to know.

He rose his shield, and advanced onward, ready to deal with these poor madmen. It was then he recalled the drake. The plopping sound his feet work making made him quickly question what he was stepping in. Suddenly, the drake the merchant spoke of appeared, lighting the bridge afire as it passed.

He survived, barely, falling onto his back in pain, and had no estus to heal. As he was on the floor, he passed a look of anger at the flying lizard. Its attention was gathered by something. Following the path of its eyes, the undead looked up and for a split second, saw what seemed to be a rock. Another split second and he realized it was The Rock.

The next split second, it smashed into the drake's head, smashing it out of the air, and onto the ground before the bonfire, crushing the hollow knights that were not incinerated. In the shock, the undead crawled backward. Then, he began to hear footsteps behind him.

“Funny thing, I thought that was coming from the sun at first,” said a rather jolly voice behind him. “But the trajectory was all wrong. If it were autumn, it would have been perfectly aligned, but alas.”

The undead rolled to his feet, shield raised.

“... Oh, I'm sorry. Did I startle you?”

[Mr. Awesomest]

Sorry I haven't updated anything ever. Preoccupied with a lot of things, many of them ideas, but I'm glad that I'm able to show you one thing I've been playing with. An original story, for once. Well, concept. It's not really a story as much as it is a prologue, and I want to know if it seems interesting enough for me to put more on paper.

 

The Gargantuan Queen

 

The face was hideous. Everything about it was wide, wider than it was tall, as if crushed by its own weight. Yet, while under this weight, the eyes remain open, and the lips are curved upward in a massive, toothy smile, which glimmered in the scorching hot desert sun. It was hard to tell where the skull would end and where the rolls begin, but that was much easier to deduce than the rest of the person. The head flowed down into the rest of the body, as if it did not even have a neck. The girth of the figure was immense, at least twice the width of an average human being, and that's from shoulder to shoulder. Three people could be standing in a row and come about even with the distance between the back and the horizon of the belly. The person would be incapable of seeing their feet, no matter the circumstances. Thankfully, the thing was clothed; although scarcely. The woman had to have plenty of money and power to spare if she has a figure like that, and she didn't go cheap in this department. Fine, unwrinkled, perfect silk wrapped around her bosom and underneath, leaving the belly exposed. The belly was supported by a golden accessory, gripping her natural waistline, from which rich cloth went underneath her. In her hand, a massive golden staff, topped with two prongs holding an orb. Her golden tone was absolute; if she were tossed to the golden sands, she'd stick out only by her bright, reflective smirk as it shone in the sun.

 

Thus is the solid gold statue of the revered and praised ruler of the desert city of Miraaj, known only as “the Gargantuan Queen.”

 

“She's in a cage, she's in a cage!”

 

The statue was too full of itself to care about the freshly appointed councilman, Jhaseen Jafar, as he ran away from the massive castle up against the tremendous cliffside, from which they mined the ores used to fuel the city's economy, and all the gold to make statues such as the egotistical one he just passed. The man did not care which route he took, so long as he got as far away as he could get, and his fleeting feet found him running through the square.

 

“Her Graciousness is in a cage!” Jhaseen screamed, in pure panic. “Our Queen is in a cage!”

 

Naturally, someone running through a city screaming would be getting a lot of attention, but his words were getting the wrong kind. A guard, wrapped in a white garb with black embroidery which covered his eyes from the hot sun, looked onward at the councilman as he approached, deducing how to go about calming this person of interest down. As he passed, the guard had decided to sprint after him, and interrogate.

 

“Mister, mister stop!” Shouted the guard as he followed directly in the path Jhaseen hurried down.

 

A look over the shoulder, and Jhaseen ran faster. The guardsman had many questions, but they had to be stowed away. Stop first, questions later. It should not be all that long until then, considering the Guardsmen of Miraaj were easily the fastest people in all the desert, but something was with Jhaseen. He was running faster than scared criminals. The guard thought that he must be running for something other than his life.

 

Suddenly, Jhaseen bolted right, and up a stairway leading into a building. Stairs commonly slow people down, and Jhaseen was no exception, as he slowed his speed to climb the stairs and leap onto a market stall drape. The guard flew up the stairs, jumping up at least seven before launching himself up four steps per foot, before jumping off to tackle the councilman before he climbed onto the rooftop. The guard wanted to simply grab Jhaseen and hit the canopy, causing it to tear and have them both fall, but only half of that happened. He got one arm around Jhaseen's leg, and tore a hole in the canopy.

 

He was quickly kicked off by the runner as he hoisted himself onto the roof, and began to run along the rooftops, through gardens and the like. Although temporarily ensnared by the hole he made, the guard quickly got onto the roof and continued his pursuit.

 

The guard tried to get to him. “Jhaseen, please sir, stop! Stop and calm yourself!”

 

“The Gargantuan Queen is in a cage!” Jhaseen shouted back.

 

The guard noticed where they were headed. They were headed right for the city gate. The guard had to act quickly.

 

The guard cannot coerce on his feet. “Explain! Explain yourself!”

 

The fleeing councilman nabbed to vases from a garden, and jumped over a gap between buildings. He turned and threw one at the guard, then descending down flight of stairs. As the guard jumped across, he deflected the vase and rolled over it. The guard swung himself around the wall to jump down the stairs when the second vase was inches from his nose.

 

The pottery smashed against his face, completely disorienting him while he was going at high speed, causing him to fling himself down the stairs in pain.

 

When the guard had regained his senses, Jhaseen Jafar was riding a horse and wielding a spear, stolen from a stable and a knight respectively. He was trampling over guards as he made his way through the city gate, and into the desert sands.

 

“Do you love your queen?” Jhaseen shouted back, for all of the public to hear. “Then you must save her!”

 

Archers missed the lone rider as he absconded the glorious, giant city of Miraaj, the golden sands of the desert tinted by the afternoon sun as the horse kicked it up. The forces of the city were annoyed, and confused. The city of Miraaj was close to the edge of the desert, and while horses are not desert creatures, it would out run their slow and steady camels and be in the grassy plains by the next day.

 

The guard who chased Jhaseen to the city gates was assisted to his feet by another guard. “You tried, brother. We tried, but he was unpredictable. He must have been crazy, granted what he was saying.”

 

“Ah, yes.” The pursuer agreed. “I wonder what happened with him that made him go off like that. He was supposed to meet the Queen today, maybe that had something to do with it?”

 

“The whole scene looks like some sort of potion to me. Some kind of thing that played his brain a fool.”

 

“Perhaps... but, tell me, what do you think he meant? Was he literal, metaphor-”

 

“Haha, brother,” the guard said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “The Gargantuan Queen's supposedly been ruling the city for two hundred years. Three generations. She's not in a cage... unless they still have her corpse.” With a strong pat, he turned to leave. “Take care.”

 

The guardsman was left standing alone in the busy street, recuperating from the effects of the chase. Here, he pondered the many possibilities. Was the queen physically bound, or bound of power? Was the council behind whatever was holding her? Or was there no bindings, and Jhaseen was being conspired against? And lastly, there was the oh-so controversial debate of whether or not there was a real Gargantuan Queen. This guardsman had made up his mind. With the ability to extends one's life, it was easily plausible for her to have survived this long, at the cost of the cleric's own life. There were many fanatics who have given their lives for her Graciousness, and many more willing to do so, so there had to be plenty of men giving their years to the Gargantuan Queen.

 

Yet still, with all this confusion in his head, the guard looked toward the castle from which the councilman ran. The populace had never seen their queen. She's been ruling for hundreds of years, and yet still, all they get to see is the golden statues at every corner of every park, market, and square. There had to be more to it, the guard thought. Something is in the dark. But, the question is, what is it that's going on in that castle?

 

As the afternoon sun lowered ever so slowly, it found its way drifting into the perfect spot to blind the guardsman. He winced his bushy brow in an attempt to block it, but to no avail. He escaped from the thoughts of conspiracies and babbling government workers, he had to keep the city quiet for the night.

 

To get in more depth of what it would be like, it would be a fantasy/mystery/action story. I tried to stray from typical generic fantasy and most of its cliches when conceiving the world, but there are a couple things that would need ironing out.