88 replies to this topic

[BW199148]

...
I take it you guys have never been to a house party? Because that is way too ignorant a statement to take seriously.

There are house parties that can practically have more than just 30-40 people depending on the size of the house, and the host can be unfamiliar with a lot of people. That doesn't mean it's impossible for someone who knows how to handle things to keep under control.

Hows that ignorant?

Would you invite a stranger into your home? No probably not.So why would you let 30 or more strangers into your house? In Your parents house!

Teenagers let loose with weed, alcohol and hormones what could possibly go wrong?

Fine don't take me seriously, but if things go south don't say I and others didn't warn you.

Edited by BW199148, 09 April 2012 - 11:03 AM.

[ChaosSupremeSonîc]

I doubt that's even their point. The amount of people wouldn't even be a problem if it weren't for the fact that he's having responsibility worries about getting caught having alcohol or weed among minors, and if those two aspects need to in any way "make" the party, a clean cut solution would be cutting down those numbers.

It's pretty cut and dry when the concern is generally the size of the people and how he probably doesn't know all of them. But I guess they can clear that for me themselves.

Then again I fucking hate parties that have more than 10 people around so I can't say I'm qualified to make a statement.

My roomates/friends have had birthday parties where we managed to have 18 people in our duplex all at once (keep in mind, I wasn't throwing the party here), and we knew each and every one of them bar 1 or 2. On top of that, it was a private party, so you couldn't get in if you weren't known by the group.

So I'm a little more qualified to know how these things go than you do. And even more, I'm not exactly much of a social person myself.

Hows that ignorant?

Let's go down the list.

Would you invite a stranger into your home? No probably not.

Yo, do me a favor? If you ask me a question, let me answer the damn thing first before you decide to answer it for me so you can get my response.

Would I invite a stranger into my home? That depends on what the stranger wants. To use my phone? Possibly. To use some tools? Why not? Eat my food? Not unless I offered it to him. The answer is generally no, but it's not black and white as you're making it out because I may very well let him if I feel like doing so.

So why would you let 30 or more strangers into your house? In Your parents house!

Because for one, it's a house party, which is part of the whole point in throwing it. It's basically a "Come in and have fun" party where people come and go as they have fun there. I mean, it's that kind of party. These are places where his friends invite their other friends to come over, so it's really a trust thing. Sure he doesn't know all of them, but his friends generally do know them enough to keep things under control.

As for his parents house? Well, that's basically things young adults tend to do for some reason when their parents aren't around. I'm generally assuming his parents know about it, but if not, then he's responsible for clearing people out unless he gets caught.

Secondly, it's not like the guy isn't going to be careful with all these strangers around. He's not going to let them go everywhere, and if they violate the more restricted areas he can force them to leave the party. Generally, guests respect the host's home else they get the boot, although there are exceptions which we are always on guard for.

Teenagers let loose with weed, alcohol and hormones what could possibly go wrong?

Fine don't take me seriously, but if things go south don't say I and others didn't warn you.

Did you not see the boatload of advice I've been giving him throughout this topic telling him exactly what could go wrong if he isn't careful? Part of it is saying, "I wouldn't do this, but if you're going to do it anyway be careful of these things."

I've been involved in these very things, without much trouble, but I damn well know the risk when it comes to having these things.

Edited by ChaosSupremeSonic, 09 April 2012 - 11:35 AM.

[Wordy]

Jeeze, hate to say it but, as ChaosSurpeme said, some people here clearly haven't been to an house party before, more particularly an underage one. Also, the guy asked for advice, not your moral high-ground :L And just cause something is illegal doesn't mean it's bad, make your own rational opinions guys, don't let the law do that for you.

Our year group has parties like these a few times a month, and tbh i'm quite shocked at how people on here are acting quite hostile towards the idea. Seemingly the laws in the U.S are a lot stricter, because seriously, the biggest worry we have at these is whether or not parents will get angry/find out about what goes on.
It sounds to me like the police are a lot more involved in stuff like this as I have only once been to a party where they turned up, and that was because a door got smashed down by some gate-crashers and the parents naturally needed help getting everyone out. (This was about 80 people mind you in a average sized house)
Otherwise the only time we encounter Police is when we're outside drinking/smoking, in which case they only ever seem to search bags, confiscate stuff and send you off home.

As for advice, firstly, make a private event on Facebook. No letting others to invite their own friends, and certainly not an open event.
Secondly, i'd say you are looking good for around 30 people, that way, it'll feel like enough for a party, but not be anything that you can't control. If you wanna play it safe however- 25. From the sounds of it though any more than 30 and you may be putting yourself at risk from these nosy Feds.
As for your choice of substances, let people know as they come in to keep their stuff on the downlow. Some will of course ignore you, but it's better than saying nothing. Oh, and remember ashtrays.
The main thing to keep your party low-key is the music, perhaps only use speakers that don't go all that loud. As it's the one thing i'm sure you'll know, people will not listen at all when you ask them to turn it down.
And finally, kick people out at a reasonable time, 11/half 11 is usally a good one. Depends on when you start though, just make sure you kick out those that aren't staying over in time to catch their relevant transport.

Otherwise I can't think of anything else, good luck and have a great time! Drag some closer friends into helping you tidy up in the morning, let us know how it goes!

[JezMM]

Would you invite a stranger into your home? No probably not.So why would you let 30 or more strangers into your house? In Your parents house!

They aren't strangers, he already said that. They're friends of friends at the very most. I dunno about you but when I've hung out with friends of friends before I don't back away from them as if they're strangers. The idea is you trust your friends and therefore trust their judgement of these people, and have a general good faith towards the fact that they are reasonable, intelligent people. If it turns out they aren't you can kick them out.

Teenagers let loose with weed, alcohol and hormones what could possibly go wrong?

You say that like there's no such thing as a teenager who has limits and intelligence.

[Carbo]

My roomates/friends have had birthday parties where we managed to have 18 people in our duplex all at once (keep in mind, I wasn't throwing the party here), and we knew each and every one of them bar 1 or 2. On top of that, it was a private party, so you couldn't get in if you weren't known by the group.

So I'm a little more qualified to know how these things go than you do. And even more, I'm not exactly much of a social person myself.

You speak to me as if I haven't been to a ton of parties, mostly on account of obligation and/or lack of better things to do, or that I don't know the concept of a private party which is pretty much the only kind of which I tolerate, so your last statement strikes me as a pretty arrogant statement to make. Your example isn't anything I haven't experienced.

[ChaosSupremeSonîc]

We live in the UK, where it is almost impossible to fit 30-40 people in a single house without being noticed, unless you're REALLY fucking rich and have a large house/mansion. See its a small country and houses down here miniscule compared to the average house in the states.

So, I guess the whole small European house thing is true then. XD

No seriously tho. I live in a duplex, essentially half of a two story house next door to people who reside in the other half. My half of the dublex fitted at least 18 people and could definitely have managed 25 people or more. I've been to house parties with no less than 35 people, and only knew 5 people there.

So maybe it's a cultural difference here, because 30 isn't really too big a number for a house party here.

You speak to me as if I haven't been to a ton of parties, mostly on account of obligation and/or lack of better things to do, or that I don't know the concept of a private party which is pretty much the only kind of which I tolerate, so your last statement strikes me as a pretty arrogant statement to make. Your example isn't anything I haven't experienced.

Eh, sorry. It really sounded like you didn't go to a lot a parties because having no more than 10 people is more of a "get together" here, and combine that on top of not liking anything more than that only makes me assume further that you actively avoid going to larger parties. Probably shouldn't have said "I'm more qualified", but the way you worded it didn't exactly make me believe otherwise.

But as for you not knowing the concept of a private party? No, that's just me informing others incase they happen to read on here.

Edited by ChaosSupremeSonic, 09 April 2012 - 11:45 AM.

[BW199148]

They aren't strangers, he already said that. They're friends of friends at the very most. I dunno about you but when I've hung out with friends of friends before I don't back away from them as if they're strangers. The idea is you trust your friends and therefore trust their judgement of these people, and have a general good faith towards the fact that they are reasonable, intelligent people. If it turns out they aren't you can kick them out.



You say that like there's no such thing as a teenager who has limits and intelligence.

Yeah I haven't been to has a house party, because it is not my thing, I hate that kind of thing.

My Sister threw one with about 20 people and these were people she knew and it turn to shit especially seeing as the neighbours house is connected to our house, they stole stuff, it was horrible, it wasn't fair on my parents when my sister promised she would only have less then five people over.


I didn't say that everybody was I immature Jez, but 30 people come on especially if say half of them you don't know, I just wouldn't be comfortable with that especially in my parents house.

Also the whole freind of a friend of a friend thing doesn't fill with confidence not to mention its a high school term.

I way over shit like this anyway. It never apealled to me.

[Indigo Rush]

I'm not sure why you're surprised you were met with so much criticism for your post, SOAP. Your topic asked how you should go about hosting a party that features alcohol with underage minors which is illegal, and then proceed to talk about smoking weed which is also illegal. I don't know much about the town where you live in, all I know is that generally, breaking the law isn't the brightest idea, and every consequence should be taken into account. If anything, take the criticism as evidence that we all care about you and your safety and don't want to see anything bad happen.

I'm not trying to come across as if you (or your friends) don't have any judgement abilities or common sense, but I personally just find it strange that you'd ask us the best way to break the law without getting caught. Forgive me if I'm getting the wrong idea, but this is essentially what I'm getting from this.

That being said, I'm not on the side of the fence that really cares for big parties or drinking or smoking. A little wine or beer is fine with me though I avoid smoking of any kind (my lungs haven't exactly been in the best shape this past year, so I try to avoid smokers as well) but that's my background. Since you're going to go through with this regardless, just try to keep it low key and try to organize it so you don't leave a colossal mess or anything, and make sure your guests make it home safe. Obviously don't smoke/drink out front where the fuzz can see you clearly, and don't be afraid to send someone home if they try to start something. I'm not sure if this is common sense or not honestly... like I said, I don't go to any parties, and this just seems like the best pointers I can give.

Condescending legal statements aside, I hope the party goes well. Stay safe and have fun.

Edited by Indigo Rush, 09 April 2012 - 11:56 AM.

[Scar]

So, I guess the whole small European house thing is true then. XD

Yes it is. Well, if you're a middle-class citizen at least.

No seriously tho. I live in a duplex, essentially half of a two story house next door to people who reside in the other half. My half of the dublex fitted at least 18 people and could definitely have managed 25 people or more. I've been to house parties with no less than 35 people, and only knew 5 people there.

I guess we could fit that many people in our house if that is the case. I just wouldn't want to. 10 close friends at most. More than that is too crowded for my tastes. Plus, I don't believe alcohol is necessary to have a good time.

So maybe it's a cultural difference here, because 30 isn't really too big a number for a house party here.

Maybe so. I don't know if what I've seen is representative of the whole country, or even the whole city, but somewhere between 15-20 is the upper limit as far as I've seen.

Also, the guy asked for advice, not your moral high-ground :L And just cause something is illegal doesn't mean it's bad, make your own rational opinions guys, don't let the law do that for you.

I don't really care about underaged drinking, its none of my business, but the law exists for a reason. There are consequences, and people who are being "condescending" and "takeing the moral high ground" are only really looking out for you. Certainly, I don't want anyone here getting arrested over something like this.

You say that like there's no such thing as a teenager who has limits and intelligence.

Alcohol and drugs can affect even the smartest individual's judgement. Not to mention those who are irresponsible , are going to be louder, noisier and generally more noticable then those who are responsible. A handful of people who are absolutely plastered are going to get noticed and may well blow it for the the responsible majority.

I hope this party doesn't get.....er.....shut down, as it were. Have fun and make sure people who're drunk don't make a lot of noise.

[Carbo]

Eh, sorry. It really sounded like you didn't go to a lot a parties because having no more than 10 people is more of a "get together" here, and combine that on top of not liking anything more than that only makes me assume further that you actively avoid going to larger parties. Probably shouldn't have said "I'm more qualified", but the way you worded it didn't exactly make me believe you would do any of that.

But as for you not knowing the concept of a private party? No, that's just me informing others incase they happen to read on here.

I didn't really want to bud in onto the main line of discussion mostly because I'm not really much of a party kind of guy, even setting aside that I do have a fair share of experience from them. I'm mostly the "hey let's get a healthy bunch of bros together so we can fuck around, play some video games, watch a movie and have snacks" kind of guy, and I guess you can account that to my grade-A reclusive persona, and that I prefer a compact environment. So on that end, yeah, I can't say I'm that qualified on account of personal biases. I probably should have elaborated more on that end.

The only thing I'm saying here is I can understand why people would criticize 40-attendants or so if only for the fact that someone is relatively unsure about the potential consequences and how to work around them. Setting biases aside, it's pretty hard to keep such a thing low-key, and one solution to that problem is decreasing your numbers and not bringing over guys you don't really know. For a house-party that may not be the most favorable thing to do, but if you want to play favorably it's advisable to not have your own cake and eat it.

[ChaosSupremeSonîc]

I didn't really want to bud in onto the main line of discussion mostly because I'm not really much of a party kind of guy, even setting aside that I do have a fair share of experience from them. I'm mostly the "hey let's get a healthy bunch of bros together so we can fuck around, play some video games, watch a movie and have snacks" kind of guy, and I guess you can account that to my grade-A reclusive persona, and that I prefer a compact environment. So on that end, yeah, I can't say I'm that qualified on account of personal biases. I probably should have elaborated more on that end.

Like I said, I'm not the most social person. But you idea of a party is basically me and my friends idea of a get together, because 10 people just isn't enough for a "party"-kind of party from my experience. But I've been out much to desire a more expansive environment every now and then.

The only thing I'm saying here is I can understand why people would criticize 40-attendants or so if only for the fact that someone is relatively unsure about the potential consequences and how to work around them. Setting biases aside, it's pretty hard to keep such a thing low-key, and one solution to that problem is decreasing your numbers and not bringing over guys you don't really know. For a house-party that may not be the most favorable thing to do, but if you want to play favorably it's advisable to not have your own cake and eat it.

See this must be the cultural difference here, because 30 or 40 so people for a party isn't all that unusual here to us Americans depending on the area and the house. It's not something we keep "low-key" but rather "controlled"; the party is obviously going to be loud in some way, but we don't want it to get too wild to where, should trouble occur, it gets traced back to the origin.

Mainly why my advice on the weed was "Don't do it or keep that shit on lock".

[Prownage]

Seems rather different to where I live. Here the biggest concern is that something gets broken or someone gets hurt. Police is nothing to worry about unless you're underage and drunk. I personally don't drink but I've been to a lot of events where people get drunk, to the point where they spend an entire night in the bathroom, constantly throwing up. Although we have large, two-story houses we usually only invite about 7-10 people. More than that and things start to feel a bit too uncomfortable and narrow for us. I guess we Finns aren't used to having that many people around us.

I don't know much about the laws and drinking habits of your culture but if they drink anywhere near as much as people do here and act similarly, then having 30 people over and not catching anyone's attention sounds like an impossible task. I don't know much about weed so I won't comment on that one. If you are going to do this, then I'd say it would be good idea to have a few guys who don't drink and they would watch over the others and make sure that things don't get out of control. It's difficult to manage drunk people, but I have had this role quite a few times since I don't drink and things have worked out pretty well. Of course 30 people is way more than anything I've ever had to deal with. I can understand the need for these kinds of events, but I'd advice cutting down the number of people you're going to invite. Of course our culture differs quite a bit so maybe I'm not the one to judge. But whatever you do, have fun!

And boy, the police around there really sounds like a nuisance.

[Wolfy]

I've really never understood the reason why late-teenage parties needed alcohol or drugs. Like Carbo, I still prefer just a few cans of soda and maybe some chips and whatnot, XD. You know, simple snacks, video games, shows on TV, maybe some activity. The key idea is that I like when everyone is actually acting like themselves at a party (which happens in the kind I just explained), and not masking behind some sort of substance to try to fake confidence or social skills or something.

The thing is, I don't really have a problem with people using alcohol or weed honestly, just as long as they use it wisely. That said, usually people don't use it wisely at such a party, so this is why I have the gut feeling it's a bad idea. People egg-on and influence others, and when everybody is hammered ass drunk, it's only a mess. I've seen people throw parties and then wake up the next morning finding people they don't know crashed on their floor, shit broken, and/or stolen. I just don't think that's worth the fun, nor the popularity you'd get out of this situation.

On a side-note about the underage shit, it's not really cool, D;. People who aren't responsible with their drinks mess up big time usually at some point or another, and people who smoke let it get to their heads and change who they are. Weed isn't really bad itself, but it still is against the law unfortunately, and it seems like every person I met that got into it becomes obsessed with it to the point that they're really bland and generic. I also have one friend in particular who I don't remember the last time I've spoke with him or seen him in person while wasn't high. It's like I can't see my old friend anymore. If I was having a party, I definitely would not support this.

IDK man, it might just be easier to go to a party instead of make one.

[HunterTSF]

Hey, there Soap! Here's some words of advice, from one partygoer to another.

Now, I don't host parties on a daily basis, but when I do, I don't serve alcohol and drugs to minors. Yes, this has been stated in the thread beforehand. Yes, I am aware that you have heard other people echo this disagreement. Yes, I'm aware that you're going to do this anyways. And yes, I know that having a high and mighty moral stance is annoying. But, I'll just phrase this in simple terms.

Neither are required to have a good time.

Do I have anything against either substance? Heavens no. It's just that in the countless parties that I've been to, I've had had just as much fun, if not more fun at the parties in which neither were served. If you are hanging out with your friends that you truly appreciate just being accompanied with, you will find ways to have fun. Whether it being some lame-ass card game, impromptu rap battles, an overly complicated gaming tournament or something as simple as dancing, you will have fun simply by being there.

Now, two buddies over? That's nice. 5 friends? That's fun! 10 people? That's a party! 20? Pretty decent sized party. 30? That's a large party. 40 people? And you expect things to go off without a hitch? Ha ha. No.

Parties as small as having 20 20-something guests can get out of control very easily without even including any drugs or alcohol. But adding both and doubling the size and having all underage participants? I'm sorry for saying this, but that is fucking retarded. Things will get out of hand. I'm sure your close circle of friends will be just fine, but those friends of friends will freaking screw you over big time. There is always that one guy. Trust me, I know. And the higher the number, the more of those guys will be there. There is just simply no way that you can monitor all of these guests with both of these substances present and expect none of them to go do something stupid. Because I can assure you, they will.

I do not care how "lax" the laws are in your neighborhood, no matter how you twist things what you plan on doing is illegal and breaking the law. Yes, you have gotten off the hook before with nothing but a slap to the wrist. I get that. But with a party of this size with a double hitter of both underage drinking and drug abuse in a house full of forty something underage kids you are simply asking for a ride down to the station with all of your friends in tow. It's not a question of "will the police knock on my door" it's "oh shit how do I not look suspicious when they do?"

Yeah, they typically require a warrant for these things, but if they suspect underage drinking or as much as get a whiff of that pot there is nothing to stop them crashing that party big time. I have seen this happen to far too many parties of much smaller scales with similar Honor-roll clientele. It does not manner how well-mannered you or your friends are.

It's simply a numbers game.

...and Soap, I warn you that they are not in your favor.

Just don't do it man. It is perfectly possible to have an awesome and fun party and just serve something mundane like drug store fruit punch. You do not want to face jail time or endanger your friends just because you wanted to add a little extra "zing" to your fiesta. It is just simply not worth the trouble. Wait a few years until you're all legal and then do it. But this type of party? Today? Not enough "no"s in the world, mate. Not meaning to be a buzzkill, but it's just not a good idea.

Edited by HunterTSF, 09 April 2012 - 12:42 PM.

[Snads Squishmitten]

A lot of people on this forum honestly have such huge sticks up their asses, it kind of depresses me that their are certain subjects which can never be thoughtfully discussed here. This isn't aimed at anyone who thinks this is a bad idea because their are some valid points....this is just aimed at anyone who see's the words 'alcohol' 'weed' 'party' 'minors' and goes into the same damn tizzy they do in every thread that contains the word. To those people who do it in every god damn thread, we get it. You think you're clearly superior because you're "on the outs of adolescence' and "don't give in to the rabid peer pressure". Have fun with that (and I mean that sincerely, honestly, truly get enjoyment from whatever floats your boat....but jesus get off your high moral horse).

I've been to dozens of parties just this year alone, most with probably a good 20+ people with drinking/smoking abound. Usually comes with living in a college town and having a somewhat typical college social experience. I've been to parties that had 100s+ people, and a lot have been busted by the cops. I've never once gotten in trouble as the partaker in these activities, but then again I'm not the person who through the party. I've also never heard of anyone who has gotten in trouble, but once again that's some pretty anecdotal claims I'm making.

In my town they just instated a fine of $1000 to the owner of any property that gets busted with minors drinking, and with it instated all year I've really seen no difference in the amount of house parties going on. Of course, now is getting to be the time when the great majority of my friends are old enough to go to bars, or have fakes (which I haven't been able to get....luckily it helps to know some bouncers )

Personally if I were you, from what I've read up on the laws in your area from just this forum....I would downsize the party. I know it's a lot of fun to have a get together of 20-30 people, but it's also just damn harder to control. It's not the whole stranger angle (I mean....anyone who's really worried about this has not been to a real house party lol) or any of that....it's just to me the biggest risk of you getting caught is going to be party size. You also have to worry about whether all those people are going to crash at your place or find a way home, still leading to you risking getting in trouble if they get into any altercations with the law after they leave and it was found out they consumed at your place.

I would say under 15....maybe even 10 would be the best advice. Then it could be a much more chill atmosphere, which might not be exactly what you're looking for...but honestly their will be other large parties. You might as well leave the large parties to the more experienced hosts, or at least those without much to lose.

[BW199148]

Also if everyone one is baked how can you have fun? I can see 40 or so people on the carpet with a box of cereal know over next to them stone out of their head. Which my sober self would find amusing to watch but would you?

[Snads Squishmitten]

Also if everyone one is baked how can you have fun?

This is just a silly fucking question.

(and this is coming from someone who doesn't even like the effect of doing pot)

[HunterTSF]

Also if everyone one is baked how can you have fun? I can see 40 or so people on the carpet with a box of cereal know over next to them stone out of their head. Which my sober self would find amusing to watch but would you?

I don't think you know how pot works.

Heck, I would be perfectly fine if Soap kept the alcohol and pot and just downsized the whole thing.

...and even if he did decide to axe them I'd still recommend downsizing the thing.

40 people is a lot of people. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible. a lot of people.

Here is some sound advice. No means no and intoxicated moans means no as well.

It's not rape if you shout "surprise!"

This is a bad joke and I should feel bad for making it.

Edited by HunterTSF, 09 April 2012 - 12:58 PM.

[turbojet]

Here is some sound advice. No means no and intoxicated moans means no as well.

[y cant solkia crawl]

A lot of people on this forum honestly have such huge sticks up their asses, it kind of depresses me that their are certain subjects which can never be thoughtfully discussed here. This isn't aimed at anyone who thinks this is a bad idea because their are some valid points....this is just aimed at anyone who see's the words 'alcohol' 'weed' 'party' 'minors' and goes into the same damn tizzy they do in every thread that contains the word. To those people who do it in every god damn thread, we get it. You think you're clearly superior because you're "on the outs of adolescence' and "don't give in to the rabid peer pressure". Have fun with that (and I mean that sincerely, honestly, truly get enjoyment from whatever floats your boat....but jesus get off your high moral horse).

What do you mean? Nothing was said that implied a superiority complex as far as I can see.