28 replies to this topic

[Game & Wario]

Welcome, one and all, to the First Annual SSMB Racing extravaganza! Ah, but this is no ordinary race, you see, it's a race to see who's the fastest! We're all excited about Sonic's newest racer, in which he's joined by several of his Sega buddies, but honestly, wouldn't you rather be the one racing? Of course you would! Now, here are our lovely hosts, Cubot and Orbot!

Cubot: Yarr! Orbot and Cubot, reportin' fer duty, Cap'n!

Orbot: Oh, goodness, my dear brother. It seems you've misplaced your original voice chip again.

Cubot: Shiver me timbers, yer right! It'll be mighty annoyin' to have to write all of me dialogue in pirate speak!

Orbot: I suppose it brings some variety to the table.

Uh, guys, the rules?

Cubot: Avast! The Cap'n's right! On with the rules! All ye landlubbers be allowed to post once per race! Yer post can be as wee as a few paragraphs, but no longer'n five! After all o'ye have posted yer piece, ye all vote via likes to decide who had the best little story! We'll repeat until ye all get tired of it and a champion be declared!

Orbot: I think that covers it pretty well, don't you, Wario?

I guess so. So, to go over them again, real quick:

-Each race will last until everyone participating has posted once.
-Vote for a poll with a like! Please, keep your likes to a maximum of 2.
-Each post must be at least 2 paragraphs, but no more than 5.
-You can use basic items (from any Sega game, such as Speed Shoes or Nightopian Helper), racing skill, and track gimmicks, but no All-Star moves (except in your winning paragraphs, if you really want to).
-You can change the terrain with transforming, if you'd like.
-Posts will be graded on grammar, spelling, originality, and overall not-suckiness.
-You can (and should) include other forum members and Sega characters in the race.
-You must write from the POV of yourself and not a Sega character.
-Please do not chat during races; talking about the game and stuff is fine as long as there isn't a race going.

Orbot: If there's anything we left out, kindly send Wario a PM detailing it, as we'd like to keep this topic free of OoC posts.

Cubot: Or ye'll walk the plank!

Orbot: Was that really necessary?

Er, uh, yes. Anyway, for this topic, I'll be going by MS (my alias on several other websites) as not to confuse me with the sex-machine that is Wario. If you want to join the racing sensation that's sweeping the nation, send me a PM with your vehicle name, description, a few stats (like it has high top-speed but low accel, that kind of thing) and your alias for the game and I'll add you to the list of racers, which will be found in the Racing Stats below.

--------------------------------------------

Racers and Vehicles

MS, in the Stardust Speeder: This sleek, red bike invokes memories of Stardust Speedway. Has high accel and decent top speed, but crappy turning and low weight.

Winston, in the Gay Booster: A purple car covered in narcissistic pictures of the driver, this vehicle has all-around stats.

Doc Spudhead, in The Animatron: Looking like something out of a saturday morning cartoon, this long, brown vehicle has insane acceleration, but is decent in all other stats, too.

Jacko, in the Bamf Bike: Bright red, and covered in Knuckles decals, this bike is fast. REALLY fast. But bump it...

WaterWraith, in the High Roller: Less of a vehicle and more of a WMD, this thing is fast and gets going fast, but it handles like Shadow the Hedgehog drenched in molasses. It's 'dem wheels, in case you didn't know.

Super Soniko, in the Phonic Cleft: A cute little sports car with great accel and handling, but meh speed. It's also pretty light.

Jin, in the Ice Car: A floating icicle, this thing controls as if it were on ice, but it accelerates quickly.

FourCartridge, in the Lancia Delta: An all-around good car, meant for all-terrain. It suffers a bit on long stretches, though.

Ash, in the Burnt and Brilliant: A car that's been through hell and back, the fire damage wasn't too awfully extensive, because this thing has good top speed and turning. However, the acceleration and braking aren't too hot. Heheheh.

Blue Wisp, in the Vortex Blastoff: A blue Audi that's been modded with HELICOPTER ROTORS INSTEAD OF WHEELS HOLY FUCK-! Great accel, meh top speed, okay turning.\

Blue-Sama, in the Baked Potato: It's a potato! That's BLUE! Handles pretty well, with decent acceleration. Doesn't like boosting or drifting much.
--------------------------------------------

Tracks

Palmtree Panic Zone: This first track is easy, with a few opportunities to go airborne and even a small lake to cross, if you'd like.

Savannah Citadel: Set in Mazuri, this blisteringly-hot plain is great for drag racing, at least until you get to the winding jungle...

Sega L.A.: A beautiful, seaside city built from the ground up with Sega in mind! Like some kind of cross between Outrun City and City Escape, you can expect lots of frantic, high-speed action! Blast up those hills, and over your competition!

Radical Train: A race through a deep canyon, alongside a massive train equipped with tons of weapons! Try not to get blown up!

Sweet Mountain: The most distracting track of all time! Try to keep your eyes and ears off of the candy and Eggman's voice booming through the track and on the road, because this track isn't as sweet as it smells!

Night Palace: Because I have LITERALLY no idea what the Cathedral of Kagutsuchi is, here's Night Palace!

Egg Fleet: Set high above the Earth, in some wierd, pasty time-rift, Eggman's fleet roars forward. Vehicles bound from ship to ship, so be careful not to fall. It's a loooooong way down.

Send in suggestions for future tracks! It's all up to you!

Edited by Witty Ladykiller Wario, 23 August 2012 - 01:31 AM.

[Megumi Hayashibara]

Sounds like tons of fun! I'll get to this later.

[/_JXJ_\]

Ah, but this is no ordinary race, you see, it's a race to see who's the fastest!

Huh, that sounds like an ordinary race to me *trollface*

[Wraith]

How do I get in on this?

[Game & Wario]

How do I get in on this?

If you want to join the racing sensation that's sweeping the nation, send me a PM with your vehicle name, description, a few stats (like it has high top-speed but low accel, that kind of thing) and your alias for the game and I'll add you to the list of racers, which will be found in the Racing Stats below.

Also, don't be afraid to submit a track idea.

Edited by Billionaire Playboy Wario, 19 August 2012 - 08:08 PM.

[Wheeljack]

Awesome. I'M JACKO EVERYONE HURR HURR!

[Enderwoman]

I don't get it.

[Game & Wario]

I don't get it.

It's a forum game, in which you write short pieces of a race, continuing from where the last person left off. After everyone posts, everyone votes on their favorite post, and that person wins the race.

[Faseeh]

Wario, take this in as a suggestion: Seaside Hill Sweet Mountain. With those booming speakers that hail out Eggman's voice, the eye candy all over, it will be the most distracting track ever.

[Game & Wario]

Orbot: Everyone, please, take your seats as we sing the SegaLand national anthem!

Cubot: I reckon I best take of mah hat.

Orbot: You aren't WEARING a hat.

Cubot: Every'un, please join me in this here national anthem.

SEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAA!

Orbot: Oh, that always gets me all oily-eyed! Everyone, the first race will start in exactly five minutes! Five minutes, everyone!

MS looked up at the announcer box where the two robotic hosts were going on about the race. He was nervous, to be sure, but the Stardust Speeder was certainly no slouch. Rolling the bike out to the starting position, he took a look at the other racers. A few of them were regular people, like him, but he could pick out Reala, Knuckles, and Beat, just to name a few Sega characters. Racing against them would be hard, especially with most of them having some sort of speed-based special ability, but anything was possible now. Palmtree Panic was an easy-mode track, to be sure, but none of the competition looked to be in easy-mode.

Getting into position (almost laying down on the bike), he twisted the handle and started the engine, prompting everyone else to do the same. He put on his helmet (deep crimson, to match the Bad Future look of the bike), and grinned at the Chao manning the flag. Over the PA, Orbot announced the start of the race.

"On your marks...get set...and GO!"

In a flash, all of the vehicles left the starting gate. MS's bike cruised along in fifth, barely avoiding the massive, psychological horror of the Waterwraith as it rumbled by. "Yeesh," he mumbled, "If only I had a purple Pikmin." With a squeeze of the gas, he rocketed forward, past the giant, watery monster and up behind Knuckles's ATV. The checkered ground was soft, making it hard to make precise moves, but the young racer took a chance and swerved up toward the half-pipe to his left, through several mechanical-looking flowers, and launched himself into the air, through a Transformation Ring. The Bad Future Stardust Speeder quickly changed colors, into a golden, jet-like vehicle. It reduced its drag even more by folding in on itself, and produced a pair of gliding wings from each side. The Present Stardust Speeder was ready to fly. It proved to be an advantage, for sure, but also made him a target to anyone with a projectile, which Reala (in the lead until MS had taken to the air) made painfully obvious. A rocket wizzed by his head, followed by a growl.

"Little Visitor, you can't outfly a Nightmaren!" Goodle hissed, prompting his vehicle (Reala himself) to take to the air without the use of any sort of Transformation Gate. Having a living vehicle had its advantages. With a quick boost, the pair of Nightmaren were on MS's tail, Reala stretching himself from the rest of the vehicle (from the waist down) to slash at the jet bike. The first swipe missed, but the second time, the black and red jester's bony, yellow claws made hard contact with the vehicle, causing it to lose balance and speed. MS fell behind, and finally, to the ground, were he growled in frustration.

"Dammit, this definitely isn't going well."

Edited by Billionaire Playboy Wario, 20 August 2012 - 10:44 PM.

[Jin Hakumen Kisaragi]

Jin took the chance to pass by MS, chasing Reala and Goodle. When they went back into land mode, he leaned down carefully, and drew his Yukianesa, a blade of pure ice and stabbed it across the ground. A large ramp of ice appears in front of him. Using this ramp to his advantage, he jumps over Reala.

"Do you seriously think you can win?" Goodle growled. Reala stretched himself out again. "Out of my way, damn obstacle!" Jin shouted with fury. He put his hand on the Ice Car and a loud horn sounded, The Horn Item, causing them to get stunned and slam into a wall.

"Tch...?". Jin wasn't paying attention to what's in front, and paid the price. He noticed a corner too late and slammed into it. He fell off his Ice Car, Yukianesa falling next to him. "Grr... Damnit!"

Edited by Jin Hakumen Kisaragi, 20 August 2012 - 11:05 PM.

[Wraith]

The Waterwraith sped past jin. Making some sort of deranged cackling noise as it shot down the track, slammimg into a few poor spectators as it wildly veered around the various curves. Up ahead was a decently sized lake. Many racers had already dove off of the track and converted into boat form.

Waterwraith lept off of the track. 4 Blue Pikmin grabbed the bottom of his wheels, hauling him across the lake. As it was basically a straight shot, He sped past his competitors. He turned his body around in an attempt to taunt them, but all the other racers heard was his deranged blubbering. He cackled and turned around, He let out a screech as he realized that he was headed for a rock that stood in the middle of the lake. He slammed right into it. Tumbling into the lake as the blue pikmin below him dispersed.

[Burnt Ash]

Ash was currently in second place, with Shadow behind him and Winston in front of him. Soon enough, Ash passed a sign that said 'Future'. Ash tried to brake, but since his brakes were burnt from that fire, he crashed into the future sign, and was immediately transported to something that looked eerily like the bad future of this very weird, colorful, yet little planet. Up ahead, Ash saw Winston, who had just run over Classic Sonic while moving around the loop-de-loop. Ash took good care as to not bump into the little blue hedgehog. A few seconds after going through the loop-de-loop, Ash heard Shadow spew out some creative swear words-- presumably from the shock of time travel-- which in turn, caused Shadow to be immediately bombared with a variety of weapons like the rocket, the upside-down star, and a SOAP Shoe to the mouth. Ash laughed to himself at Shadow's unfortunate fate, and proceeded on to finish the first lap.

Lap two. It was the second lap, and Winston was still leading the race. Shadow had not recovered completely from the previous attack, and now resides in the brilliant position of 7th place. Ash finally approached Winston's car, and was just about to attack him with a boxing glove, when Sonic suddenly shouted "Even without wings, I can still fly!" Without time to react to this sudden outburst, Sonic rammed into Ash and Winston with three speed shoes and once he passed the two, Ash saw Tails, who was trailing behind in 8th place, and who was just about to make a very sharp 90 degree turn, similar to those terrible Monkey Ball stages from some weird game called Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing. Ash recovered quickly, and due to his quick acceleration, was able to see the whole scene. Tails was driving very fast, almost at a ridiculous speed considering the dangerous turn in front of him. Knowing the inevitable, Ash exclaimed, "Watch out! You're gonna crash! Aah!" while making a funny face. Realizing it too late, poor Tails crashed and flew out his vehicle and landed in Shadow's vehicle. Ash continued onwards, and saw the finish line. He hadn't seen Winston, and wondered where he had went, since he wasn't supposed to be too far behind. Coming at a speed that would probably not be advisable, was Shadow, with Tails nowhere to be seen. However, Shadow was coming in the opposite direction...which only meant one thing.... Ash paused to think what this thing could be, but time was not available. Shadow crashed into Ash, heavily damaging both vehicles, they were still functional, but very damaged. Shadow and Ash then proceeded to mutter, "DAMN!" while Winston had just finished the second lap, laughing at the sight of the two.

[Super Soniko]

Dropping in silently from above after transforming from plane to car form Soniko picks up an item crate and gains a speed booster rocketing her little sports car through the trailing racers, sparks from the low bumper of her car catching the uneven terrain but not slowing her down she catches up to the competitive racers in front, sighing worriedly at the fiesty racers ahead of her, accidently catching eggman with the side of her car sending her flying off the track, luckily hitting a transform gate to boat form, the incredible speed of her boat propelling her forward in a blaze of speed, launching from a trick ramp, barrel rolling over Ash whilst giving a sly cheeky wink distracting him as he spins out after colliding with a mine cone, Soniko lands back on the waters surface and is rewarded with more boost as she breaks through another transform gate back to her car side by side Winston, sticking her tongue out at him and winking as she tugs down her bra strap with bed eyes, they both aren't aware of the track changing in front of them as Winston flies into the water without a transform gate, and Soniko having her controls reversed and screen flipped from a rainbow hazard, colliding with the wall losing speed.

[FourCartridge]

Music:

The first lap of the race had gone poorly for me. The Delta's lack of outstanding performance in any area caused the specialist to zoom past me as I struggled to accelerate to top speed after a screw-up courtesy of Beat, have the dragsters like Jacko outrun me at the straights, and in general be outdone by the other competitors. I often found myself grumbling at the rally car to go faster; The Delta had a long history of rally victories, and my overconfidence due to car choice had gotten the better of me.

But as the race progressed, the flaws in the other racers had reared their ugly heads. The shoddy handling of Jin's Ice Car caused him to collide against a wall, while Amigo's low top speed let me zoom past the party animal with ease. By now I saw the sight of an accident between Ash and Shadow, their vehicles having gone though a head on crash. I gained a smile as I navigated the corners they failed to, the Lancia lurching with G-Forces.

To make good news better, my car's turbocharger was starting to kick in. 100, 110, 120, 130... My speedometer climbed higher and higher as the engine revved louder and louder. The lead increasingly in sight, I took the chance to activate a Speed Shoe I had. The Delta flew at insane speeds, and soon I got the attention of Knuckles as I barely dodged an RC Bomb he threw at me. The Echinda growled at me and used his superior handling to charge at the rally car as we drifted through a wide turn, smoke and burnt rubber filling the air.

The electronic race computer I had installed flashed an update:

4.0 MILES TO THE FINISH
YOU ARE 1.5785 SEC BEHIND 3RD

(PS: I sent a PM with a track idea. Have you read it yet?)

Edited by FourCartridge, 21 August 2012 - 02:32 AM.

[Reggie Fils-Aime]

Winston is driving and is ahead of all the other racers, apparently killing Classic Sonic, he drives on, then taking the lead, as he then gets rammed by Sonic, then losing his lead, Tails and Shadow then appear and pass him, as Tails goes too fast and hits something, causing Tails to fly into Shadow's vehicle, and then Shadow crashes into Ash, and he passes all of them up. He then goes through a whole transforming section, he then notices Soniko has approached him and he looks at Soniko with a weird face, Winston, being the gay guy he is, is just staring at her wondering what the Hell she is doing. He then realizes he isn't looking at the road and flies right off into the water without hitting a transform gate. His car then gets respawned near where he went flying into the water. "Oh man, that water certainly is.....interesting." He spins his wet hair around in slow-motion while all the other racers just look at him like he's a weirdo. He then starts singing the Sonic Rush Adventure theme "Life starts with a sunny day, let's feel our ocean breath, we are cruisin' open seas, can't wait for a new venture!" He says as he then hits a transform gate that turns his car into a flying vehicle. He continues singing "La la la la, la laaaaa!" He sings as he then gets hit from behind by a green fist, he then spins out of control, he then regains control, only being passed by Soniko. He then moves on ahead trying to regain his lead, being in third place is shit thought Winston.

Edited by Winston, 21 August 2012 - 02:20 AM.

[Game & Wario]

Sadly, Jacko has dropped out of the race due to me beating him to death with a pipe for his wallet getting a booboo. Sorry, folks.

[BakingBluePotatoe]

Out of nowhere, came Blue-Sama in the Baked Potatoe, just barely getting nose-to-nose with Winston. "Hello, want to see my DOLLIE!?" she shouted off the top of her lungs, throwing a Tails Doll plushie in Winston's face, causing him to lose control and crash into a line of palm trees which then fell and crushed the back of Amy's car, causing her to evacuate the car. As Blue-Sama drove by, Amy hopped on Blue-Sama's back. Blue-Sama lost her focus and almost entirely missed an air transform gate.

As the car was flying, Blue-Sama shoved another Tails Doll plushie in Amy's face, causing her to squeal and fall right into Sonic's car. Sonic ended up swerving every-which-a-way, in a zig-zag motion, running his car into Tails and Shadow. Sonic ignored any damage his car had and then pressed a button, ejecting Amy from his car, sending her crashing into Soniko.

Blue-Sama chuckled, as the Baked Potatoe landed just ahead of Soniko. "Careful children, or you just might DIE!" she exclaimed in a creepy voice, as she picked up a horn and blared it, stunning her rivals. Eggman, however, had equipped his vehicle with Soundproofing, and rammed into the Baked Potatoe. Blue-Sama, now clinging to her car by the edges, screamed "COOOOOOOOOKIIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!"

[Game & Wario]

Well, if no one else is gonna post, we can start the voting now.

[FourCartridge]

You mean putting likes on the post? How long will it last?