The General Feedback thread (Post your W.I.P.'s!)

[JAiRO]

The General Feedback thread

Need some advice on something you're working on? Post it here!

 

It has come to my attention that SSMB does not have a "General Project feedback" sort of thread, as far as I know*. I've seen far too many people asking for an opinion as to how their project is coming along in the statuses, only to be swept away and unanswered, and seeing as how pretty much every other forum (Retro, United, etc.) has one of these sorts of threads, I figured it was high time SSMB got one.

 

So essentially the idea here is that you should post whatever you are working on, especially if you need feedback/critique on how it's coming along. This includes, but is not limited to:

• Artwork
• Animation
• Writing
• Musical pieces.

This is, at it's core, an advice thread. So try to give people helpful critique. If you aren't saying why it you like/hate it then you've missed the entire point of this thread.

 

Try to avoid posts such as:

 

Looks good.

 

This not only breaks the SSMB forum rules**, but really does nothing for the person you're speaking to. Explain why you like the thing, what in particular you admire about it. We want people to improve, and sugarcoating shit will get them nowhere. 

 

Alternatively avoid making posts such as:

 

That's shit.

 

This too breaks forum rules**, and does nothing for the original poster. Explain what you think should be changed and why, instead of insulting their work.

 

Please spoiler any images, videos, etc. in the thread for other member's convenience. Thank you.

 

With all that said, happy posting!

 

*If it turns out there is indeed a general feedback thread already, or if mods determine the this topic to be too vague, then feel free to lock it.

 

** The rule in question. 

 

Post quality is important for your reputation and the reading pleasure of other members. Type in understandable, decent English. Be sure to check your grammar and punctuation so people don't think you're an idiot. If you can't think of anything to post that's at least a sentence then we'd rather you didn't post at all. Making a post that's just one word is really lame and we'll strike you if you do it.

[ImPantsAtThis]

Okay, I'll post something.

 

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/39935f910265170e3f2ebbea5bdbc9e1   (Be warned: it loops and has audio)

 

 

Right, this is... I suppose it's the digital equivalent of a pencil test? Either way, it's part of a segment I'm animating for a flash collab and i wanna get the animation right before I start colouring. As I see it, there are two key movements I need to get across properly: the fist clench with shoulders, and the head turn/glances.

 

There's about a frame or two where the head goes a little off-model, but it's timed (luckily enough) with a blink, so it has this squash effect to it (like she's gulped or something). I'm mainly concerned on whether the movements look right or not.

 

(Also, don't worry about the varying line thicknesses -- I see 'em too, but I can't solve 'em.)

 

Thoughts?

[SIXTH-RATE SOMA]

TIME TO BREAK THIS OPEN WITH COPY PASTING~!

 

 

Alright, so over the course of me SSMBeing about, I was kicking around the idea of doing a community Let's Play, as had been popular on my previous forum, GiTP. Roadblocks hit me pretty much instantly; y'know, questions like what to play, how to get people involved and not just indifferent/bored out of their skulls, etc. A few of these things I've overcome after some fleeting moments of deliberation, but others are still foggy for me. Here's the gist of it:

 

THE GAME

 

First and foremost, I figured I'd need a game that was suitably random, offered a good environment for dialogue, and gave a bit of room for customization. My first pick that met all of these requirements?

 

 

yeah I dunno either

 

Pokeyman Red Rescue Team seemed to meet all the above criteria (plus I can capture images of it, which is y'know a thing), but there needed to be more. After all, while reasonably fun to play through on my part, the game itself needs a bit more to spruce it up and make it more... entertaining for the peoples. Here's where you guys come in, I guess.

 

THE SOLUTION (HOPEFULLY)

 

So basically, I have a list here of ideas to make the game less boring to read about, but I'm kind of iffy on which ones would hit home with the community best. Tell me what you think:

 

• NUZLOCKE RUN: Whoever gets fainted gets dead, and is removed from the playthrough. Invitations to join the team are only extended to the first recruit of each dungeon.
• NARRATIONS GALORE: I figured I'd have the partner play Watson for the sake of narrative, but I don't know what I'd have him or her say. What style of narration (tried and true or otherwise) would you guys be interested in reading? I can write for all sorts of things, I just need to know what would be funnest for such a project.
• TEAM CUSTOMIZER: The names of the team, the names of the party members, the members you bring with you, the missions you take, and the species of starting Pokémon and so forth are all customizable in MD. Players would send me their votes via the send me a status update thing-a-mabob, and winners would be decided by either majority or random chance (and I suppose that choice is up to you guys).
• BONUS STUFFS: What would you guys like to see in a community Let's Play? TELL ME I IMPLORE YOU

And that's kind of it, at least for now. The project's a long ways away from fruition, and I can hold off on it for as long as is necessary, but I wanted to get your thoughts.

 

tank u for reading all that nonsense

[JAiRO]

Okay, I'll post something.

 

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/39935f910265170e3f2ebbea5bdbc9e1   (Be warned: it loops and has audio)

 

 

Right, this is... I suppose it's the digital equivalent of a pencil test? Either way, it's part of a segment I'm animating for a flash collab and i wanna get the animation right before I start colouring. As I see it, there are two key movements I need to get across properly: the fist clench with shoulders, and the head turn/glances.

 

There's about a frame or two where the head goes a little off-model, but it's timed (luckily enough) with a blink, so it has this squash effect to it (like she's gulped or something). I'm mainly concerned on whether the movements look right or not.

 

(Also, don't worry about the varying line thicknesses -- I see 'em too, but I can't solve 'em.)

 

Thoughts?

 

Well, I think you should mess with the audio in Audactiy (or a similar program) so that Vector's voice only comes out of the right speaker, so it really seems like he's coming from the right. As for the animation, her bill seems to get sort of awkward at times but overall from what you've got, the animation is pretty solid. Overall, I can tell what's happening, and that's the most important thing.

 

TIME TO BREAK THIS OPEN WITH COPY PASTING~!

 

 

Alright, so over the course of me SSMBeing about, I was kicking around the idea of doing a community Let's Play, as had been popular on my previous forum, GiTP. Roadblocks hit me pretty much instantly; y'know, questions like what to play, how to get people involved and not just indifferent/bored out of their skulls, etc. A few of these things I've overcome after some fleeting moments of deliberation, but others are still foggy for me. Here's the gist of it:

 

THE GAME

 

First and foremost, I figured I'd need a game that was suitably random, offered a good environment for dialogue, and gave a bit of room for customization. My first pick that met all of these requirements?

 

 

yeah I dunno either

 

Pokeyman Red Rescue Team seemed to meet all the above criteria (plus I can capture images of it, which is y'know a thing), but there needed to be more. After all, while reasonably fun to play through on my part, the game itself needs a bit more to spruce it up and make it more... entertaining for the peoples. Here's where you guys come in, I guess.

 

THE SOLUTION (HOPEFULLY)

 

So basically, I have a list here of ideas to make the game less boring to read about, but I'm kind of iffy on which ones would hit home with the community best. Tell me what you think:

 

• NUZLOCKE RUN: Whoever gets fainted gets dead, and is removed from the playthrough. Invitations to join the team are only extended to the first recruit of each dungeon.
• NARRATIONS GALORE: I figured I'd have the partner play Watson for the sake of narrative, but I don't know what I'd have him or her say. What style of narration (tried and true or otherwise) would you guys be interested in reading? I can write for all sorts of things, I just need to know what would be funnest for such a project.
• TEAM CUSTOMIZER: The names of the team, the names of the party members, the members you bring with you, the missions you take, and the species of starting Pokémon and so forth are all customizable in MD. Players would send me their votes via the send me a status update thing-a-mabob, and winners would be decided by either majority or random chance (and I suppose that choice is up to you guys).
• BONUS STUFFS: What would you guys like to see in a community Let's Play? TELL ME I IMPLORE YOU

And that's kind of it, at least for now. The project's a long ways away from fruition, and I can hold off on it for as long as is necessary, but I wanted to get your thoughts.

 

tank u for reading all that nonsense

 

Nuzlocke in Mystery Dungeon? That could be cool! I think the community would have to make some pretty solid decisions for it to be a run through that lasts more than an episode or two though. As for the narrating bit, if I understand it correctly, a really noir and serious toned Watson would compliment the happy and fun world of Poke'mon. Plus it would be pretty funny . I would love a majority vote thing for naming and such, my only concern is that people would only vote for themselves, so you'd have to create a workaround for that.

 

Out of a community Let's Play I would say you've pretty much nailed any ideas I could've come up with, and then some.

[DocAzure]

Oh boy, just what I was looking for.

 

I started writing up a little Pokemon adventure story, laying down a few things, and I'd like to get some feedback on my introduction here.

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10172017/1/An-Unorthodox-Adventure

 

Be as critical as you like, I've got a hard shell.

[ImPantsAtThis]

Well, I think you should mess with the audio in Audactiy (or a similar program) so that Vector's voice only comes out of the right speaker, so it really seems like he's coming from the right. As for the animation, her bill seems to get sort of awkward at times but overall from what you've got, the animation is pretty solid. Overall, I can tell what's happening, and that's the most important thing.

 

I'm much obliged for the help. The audio's gonna be worked out by the project lead when I'm done with this and have sent it over. And hey, you never know, but you might see this somewhere further down the line.

 

---

 

@Soma: To me, it looks like you've thought of everything relevant that could influence the LP. How is it going to function though? Stream? Weekly update with a log of events and polls? Depending on how it's done, you can implement voting on certain topics (i.e. team, missions) accordingly. However, I would be careful to not have too much community participation -- a large commune of people all micromanaging one team at the same time would never go well if you wanted to win.

 

---

 

@Azure: You popped up just as I was heading off for the night, but I will read that tomorrow (or now if the sugar rush holds) since I can always learn from other writers.

 

Sugar rush held. Got a review in on FFN, but the long and short of it is that it's good and can get even better.

[SIXTH-RATE SOMA]

@Soma: To me, it looks like you've thought of everything relevant that could influence the LP. How is it going to function though? Stream? Weekly update with a log of events and polls? Depending on how it's done, you can implement voting on certain topics (i.e. team, missions) accordingly. However, I would be careful to not have too much community participation -- a large commune of people all micromanaging one team at the same time would never go well if you wanted to win.

 

The project was intended as a weekly screenshot Let's Play. And as for outfitting, I'm sure I can streamline it well enough. Thanks for feedback, comrade. :]

[JAiRO]

Oh boy, just what I was looking for.

 

I started writing up a little Pokemon adventure story, laying down a few things, and I'd like to get some feedback on my introduction here.

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10172017/1/An-Unorthodox-Adventure

 

Be as critical as you like, I've got a hard shell.

 

Actually your status earlier was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I had been considering making this topic for awhile, but wasn't sure if there was enough demand. Obviously there is.

 

Back on topic though: I'm really enjoying what you've got here so far, and I think you really captured Oak and how he'd react to such a dilemma accurately. I like that you went with an ordinary name like Jeff, it really gives you a sense of just how... eh, ordinary the character is (See what I did there? I referenced your story!). Ashley however is a bit much, a bit too quickly. She fell a little too neatly into the generic anime character ("Uh... Ashley you do know Route 1 is that way right?" "... I knew that!" is especially indicative of this.)That may have been what you were going for, but it's all sort of overwhelming.

 

I did enjoy it, but Ashley probably should be introduced a little slower.

[DocAzure]

Actually your status earlier was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I had been considering making this topic for awhile, but wasn't sure if there was enough demand. Obviously there is.

 

Back on topic though: I'm really enjoying what you've got here so far, and I think you really captured Oak and how he'd react to such a dilemma accurately. I like that you went with an ordinary name like Jeff, it really gives you a sense of just how... eh, ordinary the character is (See what I did there? I referenced your story!). Ashley however is a bit much, a bit too quickly. She fell a little too neatly into the generic anime character ("Uh... Ashley you do know Route 1 is that way right?" "... I knew that!" is especially indicative of this.)That may have been what you were going for, but it's all sort of overwhelming.

 

I did enjoy it, but Ashley probably should be introduced a little slower.

 

Thanks for that, that was the one area I really wasn't sure of. Gonna look at how I can change how she's brought in, maybe have Oak introduce her later, next day or something like that.

 

Genuinely, this feedback is appreciated so much, I'd love to improve my output.

[ImPantsAtThis]

Yeah, Azure, I sent in a review on the site. In general, I write more lines of criticism than of praise, so my review may look negative -- but it's positive overall and I found your stuff entertaining.

[DocAzure]

Hate to post here too much, but I updated the first chapter.

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10172017/1/An-Unorthodox-Adventure

 

Last post tonight, so, yeah. I'll give feedback to some of this stuff tomorrow, just having trouble placing my thoughts right now.

[Diogenes]

...well I guess I've got enough done to get some opinions on it...

I've been working on making a 3D Sonic fangame. It's still pretty early on, but I think it's functional enough to get some opinions on the controls and special abilities, and see if there's any obvious bugs that I've missed. It's got some keyboard controls implemented, but they're kind of slapdash and unfinished (even moreso than everything else), so if you've got a gamepad you're better off using that (assuming it recognizes it properly). Here's the download, just extract it and run the exe. And I'll copy/paste the readme here:

This pre-alpha is intended to be played with a gamepad. Keyboard controls exist, but they're sloppily assigned, buggy, and not fully implemented.

Keyboard:
Walk/Run: Arrows or WASD
Jump: Z or U
Brake: V or P
Crouch/Roll: X or I
Dash: (not assigned yet)
Camera left/right: j/l

Gamepad:
Walk/Run: Left stick
Jump: Face buttons (left and bottom?)
Brake: Face buttons (right and top?)
Crouch/Roll: L1;Left bumper
Dash: R1;Right bumper
Camera left/right: L2/R2; Left/Right Trigger

Special Abilities:
Spindash: Crouch, then hold Dash. Release Dash to launch.
Homing Attack/Air Dash: Jump while in midair
Brake Boost: Hold brake while running to convert speed into boost energy. Release brake while holding a direction to boost in that direction. Boost energy begins to drain when you've come to a stop.
Wallrun: Hold Dash while touching a wall in midair. If your speed is high enough, you'll cling to the wall.

 

Debug Abilities:
Hold C for ludicrous speed (although you can still go faster if you roll...)
1-6 teleport you to different areas of the map. if you fall out of the map, you'll be teleported to where you started.

Known Bugs/Issues:
If you Dash and jump straight into a wall you tend to get sucked through it. I think it's something in the wallrun code that's doing it, but I haven't gotten around to sorting through it yet.
The camera is still pretty crappy. It usually doesn't react too well to the player going upside down.
Brake boosting doesn't seem to work with keyboard controls. I'm not sure why, probably something dumb I've overlooked.
Landing on a grind rail doesn't reset your ability to do an air dash.
Wallrunning has some issues with "invisible" walls (the transparent gray ones). you can wallrun on them but it's weird and you shouldn't be able to anyway.
All graphics and effects are placeholders. Feel free to tell me if something's ugly, but chances are I probably already know.

 

So, yeah. Any bugs I didn't mention above, any issues with the controls, or anything that doesn't really make sense...anything you think could be done better that isn't due to being a slapped-together test.

[JAiRO]

...well I guess I've got enough done to get some opinions on it...

I've been working on making a 3D Sonic fangame. It's still pretty early on, but I think it's functional enough to get some opinions on the controls and special abilities, and see if there's any obvious bugs that I've missed. It's got some keyboard controls implemented, but they're kind of slapdash and unfinished (even moreso than everything else), so if you've got a gamepad you're better off using that (assuming it recognizes it properly). Here's the download, just extract it and run the exe. And I'll copy/paste the readme here:

 

So, yeah. Any bugs I didn't mention above, any issues with the controls, or anything that doesn't really make sense...anything you think could be done better that isn't due to being a slapped-together test.

 

Well I'll preface this by saying I was using a keyboard, as I have no gamepad.

 

Like you said, keyboard controls are awkward, and I had a very hard time getting Sonic to go up any of the slopes. I think this is probably due to the fact that as a keyboard-user I was unable to use the dash ability.

 

What I appreciated:

• The real momentum system: It feels like a 2D Sonic game, but pushed into the third dimension. Rolling is especially indicative of this.
• The small file size, and low computer requirements: I have a shit computer so this is always a plus.
• The easy maneuverability of Sonic: The controls were awful w/o a gamepad, but Sonic always went the direction I was pushing.
• The name: Bloobler is pretty funny

What I think could be improved:

• Rolling: When rolling I think the controls should have a more subtle influence than they currently do. What I mean is you holding back while on a slope and rolling shouldn't dead stop you.
• Obviously the keyboard controls, as you mentioned.
• The camera is wonky, just like you said. Sometimes areas felt unplayable because of it.

I realize this is pre-alpha so all the issues I've addressed have probably been taken into account already, but this is how I feel overall about the game.

[Blitz 'n Burst]

Yeah Sonic's turning while rolling should definitely be a lot tighter imo

[Yoko/葉子]

I need some input, one of the four main characters of my special game has much fear and anxiety due to having been physically and emotionally abused by a demon from his past. He has an abnormal way of thinking due to being partly animal and slightly lowered intelligence. He longs for comfort to fill the hole in his heart and while still scared, he does eventually confront his abuser. Not quite so depressed that he can't smile, but laments not seeing his family. Do I need to make more positive?

[Spin Attaxx]

It depends on what the overall tone of your game is. Is it dark? Light? Some blend of the two? Does it end on a positive note with him overcoming his problems? How is he against the other three - do they have just as dark backstories as he does?

 

Anyway, here's something of my own - primarily shading related:

 

 

How'd I do with the colouring/inking/shading? Also, could anyone give me ideas on how to do the background? I was thinking about doing a gradient from light to dark, but that might be tricky to do, since I didn't put much thought into the BG when I initially did this.

[Yoko/葉子]

@Spin, it's a little light and dark, two of the other three have darker backstories in their own way, have not thought of the last one yet.

Whether he conquers his problem depends on what decisions are made at certain points.

[Spin Attaxx]

In that case, if you feel more comfortable with lightening him up a little, then by all means do so. It is your own game after all.

[no one]

Gonna put this in my thread later... I get if it looks kinda.. emo, but keep an open mind

 

Forgive me if I'm breaking the thread rules in some way.

http://thecunningcondor.deviantart.com/art/Liquid-Wings-439748859

[Diogenes]

Anyway, here's something of my own - primarily shading related:

 

*snip*

 

How'd I do with the colouring/inking/shading? Also, could anyone give me ideas on how to do the background? I was thinking about doing a gradient from light to dark, but that might be tricky to do, since I didn't put much thought into the BG when I initially did this.

The inking's a little shaky, but that's something you get better at the more you do it. I would recommend against using the line tool to ink straight lines, though; it ends up standing out against the rest of the inking. It's better to grab a ruler and do it with the same pen you're using for the rest of the picture (or, alternatively, do it all digitally, but that's a huge pain if you don't have a tablet and a lot of practice with it).

The shading could also stand to be a bit more bold. The colors you chose aren't that much darker than the base shade, and in most places it's confined to a narrow band around the edge; it's not immediately obvious at first that there even is shading, except in parts of the hair. Don't be afraid to go darker or to bring the shadows out over more of the character, just remember to follow the shapes and keep in mind the direction of the light.

[gala]

On 3/11/2014 at 9:30 PM, The Condor said:

Gonna put this in my thread later... I get if it looks kinda.. emo, but keep an open mind

 

Forgive me if I'm breaking the thread rules in some way.

http://thecunningcondor.deviantart.com/art/Liquid-Wings-439748859

That's a very powerful image. It really does get emotion across very well. This is just a personal preference, but I think a soft gradient border like the dark around the edges in this picture http://www.wallpapernono.com/thumbnails/detail/20130714/minimalistic%20gray%20patterns%20textures%20gradient%20simple_www.wallpapernono.com_12.jpg would go really well with it.

On 3/11/2014 at 8:46 PM, Spin Attaxx said:

It depends on what the overall tone of your game is. Is it dark? Light? Some blend of the two? Does it end on a positive note with him overcoming his problems? How is he against the other three - do they have just as dark backstories as he does?

 

Anyway, here's something of my own - primarily shading related:

Spoiler

How'd I do with the colouring/inking/shading? Also, could anyone give me ideas on how to do the background? I was thinking about doing a gradient from light to dark, but that might be tricky to do, since I didn't put much thought into the BG when I initially did this.

The shading looks pretty great, because you've kept the light coning from a set direction rather than falling into the trap of having shading of different sides making a confusing lighting situation. However, the one on the bottom seems to have little spots in the purple colouring which makes it look a little... 'unfinished', I guess? As for the background, maybe a simple 2 colour one, with the bottom colour to represent the floor?

On 3/9/2014 at 2:21 AM, ImPantsAtThis said:

Okay, I'll post something.

 

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/39935f910265170e3f2ebbea5bdbc9e1   (Be warned: it loops and has audio)

 

 

Right, this is... I suppose it's the digital equivalent of a pencil test? Either way, it's part of a segment I'm animating for a flash collab and i wanna get the animation right before I start colouring. As I see it, there are two key movements I need to get across properly: the fist clench with shoulders, and the head turn/glances.

 

There's about a frame or two where the head goes a little off-model, but it's timed (luckily enough) with a blink, so it has this squash effect to it (like she's gulped or something). I'm mainly concerned on whether the movements look right or not.

 

(Also, don't worry about the varying line thicknesses -- I see 'em too, but I can't solve 'em.)

 

Thoughts?

I think it's pretty good! There is one thing that strikes me as a little off, and that's the 'looking up' animation. It looks a little less smooth than the shoulder movement. Besides that, it's spot on.

[azoo]

@Diogenes

 

I like the engine so far, but it feels like the steering is a bit on the jerky side and the jumping doesn't seem to work? Also, at times it feels like it's a bit too much of that 'ludicrous fast', but this is still a really good start, I'd say. Would like to try it in a more flat stage, though that has a balance of flat grounds and slopes; would really show how it feels in an actual stage.

[no one]

That's a very powerful image. It really does get emotion across very well. This is just a personal preference, but I think a soft gradient border like the dark around the edges in this picture http://www.wallpapernono.com/thumbnails/detail/20130714/minimalistic%20gray%20patterns%20textures%20gradient%20simple_www.wallpapernono.com_12.jpg would go really well with it.

 

I did have that in mind, but my digital skills are still rusty. But hey, maybe I'll revise it sometime.

 

And from the looks of it, the Ghastly thing of yours looks real nifty. No complaints. I'm still figuring out digital art and animation (particularly in Flash). If you got any pointers, shoot me a PM if ya want.

[no one]

Oh one more thing... which coloring looks best?

 

http://i.imgur.com/PcCQrGt.jpg

or

http://i.imgur.com/mYliEKk.jpg

[JAiRO]

 

Gonna put this in my thread later... I get if it looks kinda.. emo, but keep an open mind 

 

Forgive me if I'm breaking the thread rules in some way.

http://thecunningcondor.deviantart.com/art/Liquid-Wings-439748859

 

Nope, you didn't break any rules . I really like this piece, the dripping wings were done really well. I would've done what Sir Gabalance said and put a soft gradient around the border.

 

You said you were unfamiliar with digital art, but it really is as simple as Googling how to do something in Photoshop. Half of artwork is in the presentation of the drawing.

 

It depends on what the overall tone of your game is. Is it dark? Light? Some blend of the two? Does it end on a positive note with him overcoming his problems? How is he against the other three - do they have just as dark backstories as he does?

 

Anyway, here's something of my own - primarily shading related:

 

*image*

 

How'd I do with the colouring/inking/shading? Also, could anyone give me ideas on how to do the background? I was thinking about doing a gradient from light to dark, but that might be tricky to do, since I didn't put much thought into the BG when I initially did this.

 

What program are you using? I would recommend using whatever the pen tool's equivalent (Linework in SAI, Pen tool in Photoshop, etc.) is if you want quality line art. 

 

For a BG I would recommend softer colors, so they don't pull attention away from the main characters. Any series of shapes against a solid background would look fine.

 

That's a very powerful image. It really does get emotion across very well. This is just a personal preference, but I think a soft gradient border like the dark around the edges in this picture http://www.wallpapernono.com/thumbnails/detail/20130714/minimalistic%20gray%20patterns%20textures%20gradient%20simple_www.wallpapernono.com_12.jpg would go really well with it.

The shading looks pretty great, because you've kept the light coning from a set direction rather than falling into the trap of having shading of different sides making a confusing lighting situation. However, the one on the bottom seems to have little spots in the purple colouring which makes it look a little... 'unfinished', I guess? As for the background, maybe a simple 2 colour one, with the bottom colour to represent the floor?

I think it's pretty good! There is one thing that strikes me as a little off, and that's the 'looking up' animation. It looks a little less smooth than the shoulder movement. Besides that, it's spot on.

 

 

*image*

 

This is a screenshot from an animation I'm working on. I've only just started, but something looks a bit off about Gastly. (Not the scribbly gas cloud - that's just a placeholder for now) It's something about the face. It doesn't look Gastly-ish enough, but I can't put my finger on why. Thoughts?

 

I think maybe the eyes and mouth should be a little bigger when compared to the body, if you're going for a more traditional Poke'mon look. Maybe make the eyes a little angrier, like they are here.

 

 

Besides that it looks spot on.