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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014 Reboot)


Carbo

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Eww. Just... ewww.

 

There was a point where I thought I was warming up to the new designs a bit, but nope, seeing them up close on those posters like that just makes me realise what complete abominations they are. Yeah, they look more realistic, but it all just looks way too busy and bulky... 

 

I'll stick with the original Turtles movies, methinks.

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New trailer. I was a bit on the fence at first but I think it looks like fun personally. Loving the banter between the bros, and imo their voices are pretty much on point. They have kinda weird faces but I think they definitely did a good job with the animations overall. Also dat Shredder is pretty boss.
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"So, they're aliens?"

 

"No. That's stupid."

 

...I see what they did there~

 

Looks like it could be a decent popcorn flick at least.

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Ugh...UUUUUUGH those designs! What did they do to Raph? ;-; He's way too bulky, way too big and just YUCK I hate how he looks! Don't even get me started on Mikey and Leo!

 

The trailer is meh. I guess the banter between the Turtles is cool but I'm never, ever going to get over those horrible designs. Seriously.

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I don't really care if it looks innofensive on its own merits. It still carries my main problem with it since day one: The turtles don't behave like they should, April looks bland without the sarcasm that made her entertaining, and the designs look horrible.

 

Why can't I just enjoy this as any other average popcorn flick you ask? Cause it's called TMNT, therefore I expect it to be faithful, if it wasn't carrying anything TMNT related I would be fine with it, but it is, so it shall be judged like that.

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I still don't like the Shredder's design, the turtles have grown on me though, despite being pretty ugly and unconvincingly CGI. The trailer makes the film look fun though.

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The beginning of the trailer did interest then when the music was playing I was nervous. The trailer came off as bayformers with tmnt oh well I'm still going to watch this regardless not because I'm expecting anything good just to see how hilarious it will be

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I know the TMNT series isn't one for high brow, complicated stories but could they at least try to not give away every major plot point in the trailer? That insufferable, over used dubsteb song is bad enough.

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Well.

 

Dare I say these Turtles might be decently written? Yes, that's coming from me. Maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up just yet, but that part seemed okay. The banter was actually... kinda funny. Mikey is the same goofball we've always known, Leo seems to be calm and disciplined, Raph sounds... okay. I think they're staying with his most prominent traits, but I'm not feeling the voice as it seems to change throughout the trailer. I don't have much to say about Donnie, since he seemed to get the least amount of screentime in it.

 

They're designs? Yeeeaaah, I ain't with them. I've gone from "Well, they could've been worse," to "ew" to "the hell were they thinking?!" multiple times since their reveal. Donnie is the worst of the four by far (keep in mind Raph's my boy, and I'm not happy with his design either). What is up with the broken, taped up glasses? Who thought that was a worthwhile addition? I know what they're going for, but he's already got the goggles and everything... why make his face look even busier and weirder than it already looks? I see how they're individualizing them but... come on, how were these the best options? I prefer the less is more approach of... literally every other incarnation of this franchise and they're just bulky, huge and miss the whole "ninja" aspect. Maybe they're more agile than I'm giving them credit for, but the designs really feel like the complete opposite of what I expect. I guess that's why April found them so damned quickly in the trailer, because subtlety ain't part of their skillset.

 

Speaking of subtlety... this Foot Clan... What happened to strike hard and fade away? Come on, son! Even all the hoods Shredder picked off the streets from the original movie had more stealth, and they were just a bunch of a runaway brats!

 

I see so this Shredder isn't the "true" Shredder, huh? Good, because the whole "We made Shredder a white guy!" annoyed me. I'm sure the guy's a good actor, but that was always off-putting to me (think "The Last Airbender" off-putting). The idea that his armor was "upgraded"... I suppose it at least explains why it's such a busy, robotic mess, but it seems unnecessary all the same. It does look like he'll give them a good fight, regardless of how I feel about the design.

 

Splinter looks decent, rats creep me out, always have, and this is one of the rattier looking Splinters I've seen. It works. I'm guessing they're killing him off with this film? I mean, it could be interesting with them being on their own without Splinter being around. I dunno, not much to say there.

 

On another note, is that dubstep song from the Sonic Boom reveal trailer? I swear I heard it before.

 

I'm honestly fine with the idea of this being a new take. The trailers so far have done little to excite me. This one looks only slightly better than the previous reveals because we get to see more of the Turtles, but I'm not sure this is what I want out of the Turtles. I just wonder what other options they explored before going down this road.

 

I know Eastman was involved in some capacity, but that gives me little faith when the man was also responsible for The Next Mutation and, honestly, I doubt the movie studios care who he is since he's not signing their paychecks anymore. I do appreciate how he encourages other takes on the franchise, because I think that's cool and it gave rise to IDW's series, but I think he's also someone who just likes drawing and getting involved without being too much in control (especially now that all this stuff is WFH for him), not that I can blame him. I admire him and consider him an influence, but he's not exactly a pillar of good taste either.

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The dubstep song is Reptile from Mortal Kombat 2011, which as far as I know was only ever used in promotion for said game. It is not Bangarang, which was from that Sonic Boom trailer. However, both songs were done by Skrillex so stylistic similarities are abound.

 

And ironically, as much as I actually still like Skrillex and dubstep, using Reptile in the trailer completely threw me off and made me roll my eyes at what was actually a decent showing. I liked Mikey's personality and it actually wrangled a smile out of me, I'm glad to finally have visual proof of Splinter's existence, and Shredder looking like a robotic mess with too many blades is kind of cool and lives up to his name. He's called Shredder. He needs too many blades.

But Megan Fox and Michael Bay though. I cannot.

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Hey guys let's start taking bets: Which will be the next Michael Bay production remaking an old product since he can't bother to try to give us something new? We already have:

 

Nightmare on Elm Street

 

Friday the 13th

 

Transformers

 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

 

The Birds. Yes, this moron is actually gonna remake a Hitchcock movie.

 

My bet is that next he's gonna rape Full Metal Jacket. He's already pissing on Hitchcock's legacy, Why not Kubrick too?

 

Your bets ladies and gentlemen?

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I really hate the colour scheme and general look of this movie. It's vintage post-2000's Michael Bay all over, even though he's not even directing. Orange and teal every-fucking-where.

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This isn't the Foot Clan, it's generic terrorist squad #465. I still can't even come close to buying Megan Fox as April O' Neil, and the turtle's reactions to her discovering them seems...well, I don't want to say "out of character" since these are new versions of the turtles entirely, but "We will find you if you tell anyone" just seems a bit much coming from them. Maybe that's just me.

 

It's rare for me to be truly pessimistic about something, but this is one of those times. I have zero hope for this movie.

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