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Females in the Sonic Fandom


Scarred Sun

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More visibility has to follow the gaming community's continued acceptance of feminist and intersectional principles, whereupon it still has a long way to go even with the supposed defeat of Gamergate. While gaming is dominated by men as is other online subcultures, I noticed it is also dominated by quasi-libertarian principles that value free market and anti-censorship principles as a cover for behavior people have explained time and time again is ethically and morally fuckwadded towards your fellow man, meaning I can't even engage people on entertaining the notion that sexism in gaming is wrong because, after all, how can something that naturally occurred to them be wrong? It's a lost cause as a single, unknown individual. And the sheer amount of daily, life-altering vitriol Anita, Zoey, Brianna, Jade, and other prominent female figures who speak about the social ills of gaming makes it unsafe for individual women to do this in an uncoordinated fashion or in an unprotected space like at home or a con. It's like telling black people to act as casually as white people can around the cops in order to show them our humanity. No one wants to take the chance that they'll get a bullet. We'll do that only when we personally feel like the culture has progressed enough to allow it safely.

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When I was younger I had no problem letting people know I was female, but it was something I never really shouted to the high heavens about, partially because I always thought it was amusing to see the shock of some people when they found out I was female. I got badgered and pandered to a lot, but was generally too ignorant towards sexism to see it for what it was. As I got older I've still remained that way, in a sense, as, while I am female in body, mentally I have always felt genderfluid, but I still found the attention I'd get for being female bothersome, so I kept it quiet. I didn't like having to wonder if someone spoke to me because they wanted to be my friend, or because they wanted to get in my pants(or cyber pants online). Despite that I actually had a hard time understanding what other females meant when they spoke about sexism for a long time. The insults and behaviour towards me that had been fueled by sexism I'd always seen as someone just being an asshole, but after listening to my female friends and acquaintances speak of their experiences I began to understand, and even see the things that I'd missed myself.

On the topic of females in the Sonic fandom, I've seen plenty. I feel about 50/50 on the ration of female and male, but, yeah, because so many women and girls don't want to be harassed or drooled over a large chunk of us keep it on the down low.

In addition I just want to say that I really enjoying reading through this thread. The discussion has been really interesting.

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It'd be impossible to know unless someone randomly read this and did, but it'd be neat to find out just for fun to see if anyone thought I was female at any given point just to see if the opposite of the unfortunate male assumption norm has happened on me haha

I always knew that you were a guy, because I remember how you and Aoi were one of the most popular couples on the board back when I first arrived here. But regarding other members, I do confess that I thought FlyboyFox was a guy because of the fact that this member always had a picture of Tails the fox in their avatar and because they even had the word "flyboy" instead of "flygirl" in their username. I was very surprised/shocked to one day discover that this member was actually a female.

 I'm quite close to having a degree in music theory and have composed a number of pieces, but haven't uploaded them yet, and I think a lot of that stems from the fact that I'm scared of not being taken quite as seriously as other (read: male) musicians.

Back in 2006, 2007, and 2008 I was active enough to review people's art and music in this community, and I took them very seriously, regardless of whether they were a female or a male. The old moderators who remember me will confirm this to you. It was a great time and I really did encourage and motivate a lot of folks to keep posting their crafts.

 

I can only assume they get really creepy and desperate with female anime/video game fans is because they share an interest and so they think it will be easier for them to get laid. I think. I can't see what's going on in their heads, but that's how I view it. 

That's basically how it goes. People keep advising me: "find a girl who shares a lot of the same interests with you; don't waste your time testing your luck with girls who have very little in common with you". And this is exactly why I end up going back to flirting with cosplayers of anime characters after being rejected by someone else who didn't have any matching interests with me despite looking attractive...

So yeah, I've attended 4 conventions so far, and I didn't have any problems obtaining consent for photographs and for a few minutes of chatter. Other than that, no major breakthroughs.

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That's basically how it goes. People keep advising me: "find a girl who shares a lot of the same interests with you; don't waste your time testing your luck with girls who have very little in common with you". And this is exactly why I end up going back to flirting with cosplayers of anime characters after being rejected by someone else who didn't have any matching interests with me despite looking attractive...

So yeah, I've attended 4 conventions so far, and I didn't have any problems obtaining consent for photographs and for a few minutes of chatter. Other than that, no major breakthroughs.

You know, going for someone with the same interests as you is totally fine. I've been in situations where I'm talking with someone I share absolutely nothing in common with, and it's boring. I'm already bad at conversation as is, so it doesn't really help when I can't find something to talk about around them. My biggest problem is how people approach me sometimes. There are some I've met that are really polite and talk with respect and it's fun to talk about things I like with them. Then there are those that are on the extreme ends. People who think girls into this stuff are a 1% or even less and claim how it's impossible to find someone like me. And they just end up very clingy and make me uncomfortable.

And um.. about flirting with cosplayers.. I wouldn't exactly advise that. I mean, unless they show an interest back. Because the thing is, at cons, many people come from far away to attend it. Most people, to my knowledge, are there to have a good time. I know that when I go to my first con, the last thing I'll want is people flirting with me. Pictures are fine, in fact I think it'd be amazing if someone asked to take a picture with me, as it would tell me that I did a good job portraying the character I'm dressed up as. But yeah, I can't imagine many people going to cons for the purpose of finding a partner. It's kinda odd, to be frank. 

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If a woman is coplaying, chances are, she's trying to show her love and support for the media that she loves, not because she wants you to hit on her.  Some girls will take flirtation in stride, and others will even reciprocate it, but it's still an unsolicited approach.  We're probably not going to fall in love with someone we just met on the basis of we happen to be dressing as a character we both like at the time, and pictures certainly aren't indicative of any kind of advancement in any sort of relationship.  Kids take pictures with Chuck E. Cheese all the time.  Doesn't mean they wanna fuck him.

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I know that when I go to my first con, the last thing I'll want is people flirting with me. Pictures are fine, in fact I think it'd be amazing if someone asked to take a picture with me, as it would tell me that I did a good job portraying the character I'm dressed up as. But yeah, I can't imagine many people going to cons for the purpose of finding a partner. It's kinda odd, to be frank. 

It's true that not everyone has the same idea of a "good time" and there's always a variety of preferences. At moments like this I wish that I could read a person's mind before I dare to approach them to start up a conversation. But unfortunately I'm not a mind-reader and therefore I have to take risks and gauge my actions based on someone's reaction to my approach. Some cosplayers that I came across were overly friendly but what held me back was the thought that I might not get to meet up with the particular person again due to them coming from far away and not being able to arrive to the particular event each year.

I'm one of the lucky guys who lives only 1.5 hours away from a popular venue, so I can make it there every single year, unless I lose my job. So I treat the convention like a downtown pub where folks mingle on a regular basis with the hope of building a relationship. (The reasons why I don't go to real authentic pubs are: 1.) because I'm not much of a beer lover; 2.) because I don't like most modern pop music; and 3.) because those places are popular amongst people who most definitely lack my interests and who would most likely just tease me in some way instead of taking me seriously.).

We're probably not going to fall in love with someone we just met on the basis of we happen to be dressing as a character we both like at the time, and pictures certainly aren't indicative of any kind of advancement in any sort of relationship.

Sadly, the majority of the people are exactly the way that you describe. But I don't like to think as a cynic and there's a part of me that yearns to believe that at least a small exception can always exist to every scenario. With that said, I know of a female cosplayer who, just like me, lives very close to a popular venue and keeps arriving to it each year. And each time that she goes there she arranges community meet-ups for her fans/followers. So far I've only met her once, but if we can keep meeting up every year then it could hopefully have some kind of growth/advancement. Nothing wrong with wishful thinking. Especially if the person never told me to stay away.  

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The easy solution is to not approach people like that.

I don't steal your wallet to gauge rather or not you'd be interested in lending me a dollar.

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No one wants to be fucked with by someone they've barely met or never met at all when they're trying to have a good time, and an expensive one at that. Seriously, remember how pricey conventions are, particularly for cosplayers- you have to acquire the costume somehow which can range from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars and between 20-50 hours of intense labor on average, you have to think about storing and transporting it to and from the con which probably means buying a proper case that won't wreck it, and this is on top of registration fees and money spent on food, travel, money for tips for not just waiters but for hotel staff, cabbies, maids and the like (because no one wants to be that asshole), etc.. It's weeks if not months of planning, working, and saving and going without sometimes, and no one wants that weekend marred in their mind forever by someone hounding them on the con floor where they're trying to have fun simple because they "need" a partner. Show some respect and consideration for others. If you're desperate for a fandom girlfriend, get her social media handles and start talking to her in a more neutral environment after the fact. At least then you have the chance of actually learning more about her and having her want to take time out of her schedule the next con to actually want to meet you instead of barging in her life unexpectedly with flirtatious behavior. And on top of the fact that people are becoming more and more aware of the sexual harassment that goes on at cons and thus the tolerance level for that shit is lowering, just no. Do not do this. If you're not an existing friend, a cosplayer yourself, or there to take a picture, then do not.

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If you're desperate for a fandom girlfriend, get her social media handles and start talking to her in a more neutral environment after the fact. At least then you have the chance of actually learning more about her and having her want to take time out of her schedule the next con to actually want to meet you

Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing. She does her best to interact through social media with all the fans that she's got. There's thousands of them but the majority don't live as close as I do. When she hit 10K followers on her Instagram she had a celebration. She's even got a P.O. Box to which people send her gifts. But I'm not one of the people who send her gifts, because I've learned from past experiences that that can sometimes scare people, so I don't want to risk that method anymore.

So yeah, I chat on the Instagram and comment on her blogs. She's got no problems with it. Afterall, silently waiting an entire year for a convention is too boring. (I'm not as rich as her, so I only attend 1 convention per year, while she actually travels the world and attends multiple cons.)

So there you have it. No problems, no violations, no hassles. Just some weird geeks fighting their boredom in peace.

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