A review of Archie Comics from someone who doesn't particually like them from issue... urm... something or other Part 1 of Genesis until the most recent one.
Following the last review I did in which I was branded an outside and practically chased from the village with a pitchfork and burning torches, I put off writing anymore instead concentrated on mocking Ken Penders in order to gain the trust of the pro-archie clan, with that out of the way I'm now back to give my thoughts on all things Archie of recent months.
Ok thats not what really happened, basically something happened then something else and something else which made me forget to do a monthly thing... although the part about being chased out of the village and branded an outsider is true.
Archie Genesis, What a marvellous idea, take everything back to basics, a really good gripping story and the chance to makle significant changes to the main archie storyline that would make it easier for new readers to get into as well as cutting away unessesary characters or plot lines that are just complicating..... .. .. oh wait hang on... this is just a spin off thing isn't it!?
Archie blew a grand chance with Genesis even if you didn't want a total reset they could have changed something, anything, maybe the priceof a pizza, but no, nothing changed other than Sally came back to life... again...
Number of times Sally has died or been something other than a squirrel... 4 by my count. 2 more on her 'death loyalty card' and she wins a free latte at the Cloud 9 coffee shop.
So what happens in Genesis? Basically not a lot, the first issue set things up quite well and then issue 2 happened, issue 3 happened and there might have been a 4th part but it was so forgettable I forgot to count. Issue 2 and 3 basically consist of Sally taking the spotlight from Sonic and being what the comic is about instead of it being about Sonic... I assume that's why the comic is called Sonic the Hedgehog? And not "Sally Acorn: I'm not a policeman I'm a princess!" However the Archie comic writers and artists found a clever way to show how Sonic can follow Sally's instructions no questions asked, and it's a work of genius...
Sally flashes her arse at Sonic...
I counted this happening at least twice before I figured 'So thats why Sonic has put up with it for so long?'
So Sonic and friends go off to stop Robotnik and HEY IT'S TAILS! Wow, Tails, wasn't you supposed to be in part 2 like you were on the cover... and Knuckles is on the cover of thi.... .. ... Knuckles isn't going to be in this comic either is he? Well Tails is in it and like a good mother Sally decides that he's a bit young to go fight robotnik... .. .. wait what?
In this storyline he was doing a pretty good job on his own (if you found the options screen), so why can't he go fight Robotnik in what I assume is supposed to be a Sonic 2 storyline?
And look here he is on his own again!
Well I think he can join in you little bitch so stop complaining about his age and go back to your damn throne and talk about a commity or something /Bill Murry Scrooged.
So Sally once again is telling people what to do and off they trot on an adventure and oh wait it's happening... Sonic is falling for Sally already... I guess the flashing of the arse was too much for him... if only Robotnik had thought of this he would have conquered Mobius much sooner.
Well Genesis Saga ends... somehow... and we're back in time... just moments before Sally dies... and she's saved! Hooray! 2 more and.. wait... oh right time travel. Anyway Genesis ends and it looks like utterly nothing has changed except for the fact that Sally has cheated death and now we might be seeing the Death Egg destroy everything... owww exciting.
It's quite a nice issue if not for the fact not very much happens other than 'we must stop the death egg... we must stop the death egg... we must stop... oh I blew up...' The biggest shocker of the issue is what happens to Sally... ZOMIGOD! She's dead! She blew up! No wait... SHE'S A ROBOT!
* Adds another stamp to Sally's death card... one more and she's got the latte!
So thats the biggest shocker, the thing that changed is that now people can be turned into robots, yuppi. And 20p says Sonic is in love with Sally as a robot... you know it's going to happen...
Well now skip ahead to 231 and we get... a pretty damn good issue, and I'll tell you why, theres lots of action right from the word go, everyone in it is doing something for a reason even cream gets an odd role even if it's just to rescue someones doll. The fan service level here has reached the stars, Chaotix, Sonic R, the list of cameos is practically endless, it makes up for that god awful death egg design.
Drama... Bunny has become part robot... part fireplace ornament... shocking!
But otherwise this was a pretty cool issue, and even ends on a semi notion of 'hmmm wait... maybe this is the drastic change that we thought Genesis would bring? Afterall, Robotnik is back... sally is gone (sorta)... the city is destroyed and the last few pages of them are in a forest... .. .. .. ..
And then issue 232 happens and we realise... nope... not going to happen.
232 is about as boring as it could possibly be... nothing happens... when your most dramatic line in the comic is
"TO THE HOSPITAL!"Hope for excitement begins to dwindle... and you're right to think that. However Bunny's transformation is indeed a bit of a curve ball... didn't see that one coming.... neither did Bat Face Monkey Man either... I guess Genesis did change a few things so long as it benefits the plot right? And thats pretty much all that happens... Nichole isn't talking to people anymore... Sonic has a conversation with Knuckles... theres a flashback to something that has nothing to do with whats going on... and then Skunk man gets arrested... even though he's aparently been working with the new King (Monkey Man)? So shouldn't the King have pardoned him? Wait... hang on... Why is Knuckles on the cover... WHEN HE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING! This is Knuckles in issue 232 despite being on the cover.
"Hi Sonic... I'M NOW ANGRY! We must be patient... goodbye..."And thats pretty much it... ... so ends one of the most boring comics ever.
However that said, there is a rather gem of a short story at the end about Bunny trying to come to terms with her new self and it is quite a touching moment. It almost reminds me of Fleetways Shortfuse when Robotnik was defeated and he tried to adjust to a 'normal life' if only to be a bungling idiot. It does raise the question as to what happens if those who have suffered being part robot do get turned back, theres a sense of withdrawl and regret... mind you... this lady recovered quite well in the end...
...I'm sure Bunny will too.
But still... quite touching to read. However that said issue 232 is epically boring in every respect, not even the second tails doll cameo can save it from how dull it really is. Even Eggman isn't doing anything in the issue! He's just launched and attack on Mobius, why is he not following it up!? Why on earth is the hospital still standing if theres a Death Egg in the sky?
I think Snively speaks for the reader in this issue by pointing out how ridiculous Eggmans actions are... or the plot of this particular issue has been so far.
Although I will leave you with this one thought... Bat Faced Monkey Man can now reverse people who have been Roboticized.... well isn't it obvious who is going to cheat death again?
*adds another stamp* Hey she's got a free latte!
Is that a twinkling light in the distance or are the pitchforks out again?
Edited by Hogfather, 22 January 2012 - 12:43 AM.