/_JXJ_\

About me?

I'm a person who values respect, love, spirituality, and morality. I grimace at how little amount of these things I see are on this forum. I feel like this forum has contributed to me becoming a somewhat cynical and bitter person, and I don't like being that way. I love to love. I'm extremely easy to get along with. But too often I turn around and come here just to see too many members behaving like COMPLETE buttholes with little regard to the feelings of others.

I was younger and less mature than I am now, and I made a controversial thread. I was blatantly called a c*nt on my birthday by a moderator, a comment that attracted over 70+ likes and became one of the most popular posts on the forum. During that period I was repeatedly teased and treated like a germ by some of the members for a multitude of reasons, some justified(?), some not. I reported the mod's comment and asked for it to be removed multiple times, each of them ignored or shot down. It was was humiliating and mean. Thankfully, one moderator deleted the whole thread per my request (after me being dragged through the mud about for the better part of a year), and I'm still thankful for that.

I'm not perfect. I'm human. But I was hurt, and I still am to be honest. I hate harboring feelings of resentment and bitterness, but I can NEVER bring my self to attach and connect with other members, be it because on a regular basis they're acting like condescending jerks, or showing TOTAL lack of respect toward me, my Christian beliefs, and others alike. I'm tolerant. But too often I have to bite my tongue and prevent myself from telling some ignorant member (including some staff) off for saying something incredibly stupid, jerkish, and/or hypocritical. There's a disgusting lack of respect for eachother and different. How often do you hear people with faith in God here putting the other side down? Cracking hurtful jokes and openly MOCKING practices? Posting blasphemous or insulting images via status updates? Making COMPLETELY disrespectful claims to all the people on the other side of the spectrum? Almost NEVER. This forum is a cesspool of depression, bitterness, immorality, ignorance and disrespect. Again, I absolutely am NOT NOT NOT perfect. However, I strive to better myself and go higher. To be friendly, respectful, loving, and outgoing toward others DESPITE differences in beliefs or thoughts (of course not 100 percent of the time as again, I am not perfect in any way, but I acknowledge that those are qualities that should be had, ones I don't see here often.) I have zero friends on SSMB. I honestly don't like or get along with 99 percent of the people here. I've got dirt on my hands, but it's not all my fault. I tried to be friendly. I tried to be respectful. I showed compassion. I heard people's problems. I sympathized. I tried to joke with others. But I felt like almost daily my face is spat on by this forum, and I don't like it one bit. The same thing goes for the Skype chat, a cesspool, one where I was basically a laughing stock and a fool last year.

Many members kiss the moderators'/staff's butts, no matter what hurtful or completely uncalled for post they make. It's pathetic and gross. Some of the staff behave arrogantly and expect to be treated like some sort of DIVINE OVERLORD(S), and members feed right into it. WHO do you people think you are? And this doesn't just go for the staff, but for every member who's a negative, condescending, mean jerk who SWEARS they know EVERYTHING. WHO do you think you are? CHECK yourself, because your ridiculously negative and disrespectful disposition HURTS people. It HURTS people when you make snarky butthole comments. It HURTS people when you BLATANTLY attack what they believe in. It HURTS people when you praise buttholery from officials and members, as well as constantly tease and make fun of others (despite them being new or foolish). I can only name MAYBE 2 staff members who have proven themselves to be cool people who can still get the job done, and that is sad news indeed. WHY are some people even mods in the first place? Some of them don't even DO anything, and that's if they're even online. It's not in my place to decide who can be a mod, nor am I puffing myself up to sound like I have any authority over the selections. However, I've witnessed way too many instances of unkindness, hypocrisy, and arrogance on the mods' parts, and I can't stand it.

SSMB has nothing to offer me other than the Stadium Music Albums, the wisdom and friendliness of a FEW members, and unfolding game news. That's it. I absolutely HATE to sound so judgmental, and I go out of my way to keep it to myself, be understanding, and be loving to my fellow man. But it is what it is. I was treated poorly despite me trying to fit in and be cool with others, but in the end it was for naught. SSMB was in some ways a wake-up call and braced me for a harsh realization. It let me know that it ISN'T like this JUST on this website. SSMB could be seen as an accurate representation of the whole world! Terrible, sinful, disrespectful, hurtful, and with a few faltering glimmers of laughter and sunshine thrown in there. 

...but I'm done. There's so much to be said, but that's the gist of it. I don't like this forum. This forum doesn't like me. Too often I felt like it was "Me vs. SSMB", and I'm just tired of the disrespect and ignorance. I don't know if SSMB will ever change. If anyone should stumble across this passionate post, know that I don't WANT to feel bitterness, and I wish NOTHING bad on any of you. I almost NEVER post anymore, but know that I am here, watching and browsing. If I am needed, I would be happy to hear your problems and give you a shoulder to cry and laugh on alike. Until then, farewell SSMB.