*ahem* Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to tell you a little story.
A story about Hell.
And once again I clear my throat. *ahem*
I thought I had experienced Hell.
I thought I had experienced it.
I believe Hell does exist on Earth, waiting to grip a living being in its thick grasp. It grabs hold and then drains you and drains you and drains you until you finally escape, changed forevermore with ten years cut off your life expectancy.
And so I thought I had found Hell in many places.
I thought I found Hell for the first time here:
That. To me, that was Hell. That was the Helliest Hell there was. But Hell wasn't finished with me. From the depths of Hell rose this:
Pure, concentrated Hell. In every word of spoken dialogue, in every lagging of the framerate, in every moronic plot point, there was Hell. Or so I thought.
And still Hell had more in store for me.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yKnPbI_xGY, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ohT6DjssO4, to the irreversible corruption of eight years of twisted nostalgia, to oh god get it away right now, I thought Hell had had its way with me. I know I'm going to die because of all this. Soon. But at least, I thought the onslaught was over. I could live out what few remaining years I had in peace.
Little did I know that I had yet to experience Hell in its most concentrated, most vile, most deadly form. I have experienced that today, and it came in the form of this:
Hell loves to imitate cute things. It tricks you, drawing you in and then lulling you into a false sense of security before smacking you in the face with a giant wall of demonic fetuses. You will not find a wall of demonic fetuses in Pooh's Home Run Derby, but you will find this:
(mute if you need to)
And so in this I have found true Hell.
And in it I shall burn.
This simple little game about Winnie the Freaking Pooh has destroyed me. It has drained the last of my life force. I do not have much time left. Already, I feel as though I can't breath and am coaking. My eyes are turning red, my teeth blue. But at least I was able to pass on this message.
The last words of The One and Only T-Man.
Sayonara, T-Man the Hedgehog...
(*ahem* Imagine Metal Sonic is there instead of Shadow and yeah.)
oh god what did I just write I mean seriously is this how tired I am like what[