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Status Updates posted by Speederino

  1. Really happy with the Black Flag port on Switch. Looks great, runs great, has HD Rumble and gyro aiming. Gyro aiming is always a plus in my book.

    1. Monkey Destruction Switch

      Monkey Destruction Switch

      Always good to see a great punk band being released on the Switch.

  2. I'm now caught up on that book series I've been reading and gushing about for like three months straight and I don't know what to do with my life now that I can't just instantly read another chapter. What am I supposed to do, play video games? Go outside? Get a social life? WHAT, I ASK!?

    1. Ferno



    2. Speederino


      I am intrigued. Am I to presume these bears can produce thunder?

    3. Ferno


      with their mighty roars yes

      tame them and ride one into battle

    4. Speederino


      Where do they live?

    5. Ferno



    6. Speederino


      Sounds European. What language do they speak? I should learn a bit of it if I'm gonna go there.

    7. Ferno


      they just speak bear, but with a thunderbear accent

    8. Speederino


      I'm fluent in bear but my accent is distinctly acidbear. That might cause some confusion. Hmmmmmmmmm

  3. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone.

  4. 9/10 doctors recommend not dying

    1. spinny


      that one doctor must be dealing with some rough shit......

    2. TheOcelot


      1/10 doctors do

      Image result for doctor eggman laughing gif

    3. Solister


      The communist one:
      "Death is an invention of the capitalism to enrich funeral homes"

      I once posted this as a status. Don't ask me how high I was when I reach this conclusion.

  5. Everybody needs knives.

    1. Ferno
    2. Speederino


      Some people think they don't need them, but they do. Everyone needs knives.




    3. Sapphirine Wind
    4. Pelvic WOO! engine
  6. Needed a new phone, so I got a Galaxy S10 today. Oh man this screen ❤️

  7. Aaaaaand my phone won’t turn on. Great.

    1. Speederino


      If anyone tells me to try charging it, I will take the charging cable and shove it up their nostrils. Capiche?

    2. The Master

      The Master

      Is it a phone you have access to the battery? If so, maybe take it out and put it in again. If not, maybe plug it into a computer with a USB to see if it responds?

    3. Speederino


      It’s an iPhone so nope. And I tried hooking it to the computer and the results were weird. iTunes wouldn’t recognize the phone but the computer could at least tell *something* was plugged in. I dunno. It’s looking like I’m gonna have to ditch work for a bit tomorrow to take it in for repairs.

  8. Oh I am a bee, and a bee I must be. But what is a bee if a bee is not free?

    1. Thigolf


      I'M A FREE BEE 

      FREE BEE
      FREE BEE
      FREE BEE


    2. superman43


      Soon in SEGA Heroes. lol

    3. Diogenes


      a miserable pile of beecrets

    4. Your Vest Friend
    5. Perkilator
  9. Just chilling in the parking lot at work because I just don’t wanna today.  :U

  10. Imagine being able to do this many spot-on impressions. Holy shit.

    1. Sean


      His Wayne Allwine impression is great. Even if it's just based on this tiny clip, it sounds better than the two official Mickey voices that are being used right now.

    2. Speederino


      All of his impressions are spot-on from what I can tell. Also:

      This one is even better. The suit actors are so impressed that *they* request a picture with *him*.

    3. Sean


      Disney, please fire whoever voices Mickey in the newer Kingdom Hearts games and hire this man

    4. Thigolf


      I love Chris *lastnamewithtoomanysyllables* as Mickey's voice in the shorts, though

  11. There's something really weird about receiving wrong number texts, especially when there's photos involved.

    1. Tara


      I wanted to make an awkward joke about receiving someone else's lewd pics in a wrong number text, but there's this group of people who keep fucking adding me to new group conversations every so often and they never get the hint to remove my number from their address book.  Like

      "oh, my son's elementary school graduation party is today!"

      "woohoo yea trevor!"

      "what's trevor's school colors?"



      "This is a wrong number, please remove me from this conversation."

      "okay sorry."

      -six months later-



      "What can I get him for a present?????"

      "Once again, this is a wrong number.  Please remove me from the conversation."


      -two months later-




      It's infuriating.

  12. Let’s go on a date

    1. Your Vest Friend

      Your Vest Friend


      *Buys a pack of dates, stands on one*

  13. Welp, I was planning to spend my weekend playing Link's Awakening but the package got delayed and now it looks like it might have been straight-up lost in the mail. Maybe Hyrule Warriors can tide me over until this gets resolved, idk.

  14. I've been reminded that Whose Line is it Anyways was (is?) a thing and now I just want to watch that for several hours on end, please.

    1. AdventChild


      Colin Mocherie is king of improv


    2. JezMM


      Helping Hands and Two Lines are favourite sketch types for me that I always come back to time and time again.


    3. AlphaRuby


      I've been meaning to watch the original UK version 

    4. Stay at Home Ultima

      Stay at Home Ultima

      Ahh this show!

      What about Scenes from a Hat tho

  15. Assassins Creed 2 is officially ten years old now. What in the ACTUAL fuck?

    1. TheOcelot


      By far the best AC game.

  16. The Trix rabbit’s existence is just cruel. Imagine your sole purpose-your one and only goal and reason for living- is to have a bowl of cereal. And you aren’t allowed to ever have it because of some jack-ass kids. #JusticeForTheRabbit

    1. Supah Berry

      Supah Berry

      General Mills held a campain in the 70s where kids voted to give the Rabbit his Trix because they felt it was sending the wrong message to kids. And than they put him back on the leash anyway.


      I mean, rabbits ain't allowed to eat cereal, so it's honestly for his own good.

    2. Speederino


      That’s the problem right there: who says rabbits can’t have cereal? Society? FUCK society! Better for him to finally accomplish his life’s goal and maybe die from it rather than live an endless, miserable existence where he never gets to be happy.

      I mean at the very least let him have a bite of that shitty yogurt like come ON

    3. Teoskaven


      People these days really have too much free time.

    4. Speederino


      Right? Why spend so much time and effort in preventing a silly rabbit from accomplishing his dreams?

    5. Teoskaven


      Maybe if brands didn't wasted time in creating stuff like that to promote their products to begin with there wouldn't be a problem in the first place.

  17. I’ve done basically nothing except sleep over the last 17 hours. I guess surgery really takes it out of ya *shrug*

    1. SenEDDtor Missile
    2. Speederino


      Appendicitis. It’s all taken care of now but I can’t do much except lay around.

  18. Welp, the last couple days have been fun. I just got my appendix taken out because it was being a *jerk*. Still just laying around the hospital for now but I feel pretty good all things considered.

    1. Strickerx5


      Glad to hear you’re doing well!

  19. The weekend goes by WAY too quickly wtf

    1. Strickerx5


      Me almost every hour of the weekday: "Just... hold it together till Friday afternoon..."

    2. The Deleter

      The Deleter

      Is it bad that I feel more relaxed during the weekdays despite having more stuff to do

      Like even when I don't have stuff to do during the weekend, I keep stressing to myself "Oh man, I really should do that thing I wanted to while I have free time, and that thing, and that, and that..." because I know I won't if I'm not thinking about it

      But then I don't anyways

      And then it's over

      And then I'm sad again

      Work is work but at least I don't have to worry about what I gotta do to "succeed" every waking second tbh

  20. I still don't understand why none of the Arkham games have been ported to Switch. Challenge mode alone is such a good fit for portability come the fuck ON video game industry.

    1. Strickerx5


      because I want it to happen and, as we all know, if it's something related to nintendo that I want it simply will never materialize


      /s but still it actually is stupid how that hasn't happened yet. Arkham City was, like, one of the first games on the Wii U  lol. What gives?


    2. Speederino


      I know Knight’s never gonna make it and I don’t think anyone could be assed to bother with Origins, but Asylum and City? Yeah come on, port ‘em already.

  21. I'm always a little hesitant to pipe up about something I love on the internet because I never know what the reaction will be, especially when it's something obscure like this. But now that I'm about halfway through the series, I can't recommend The Wandering Inn enough. It seems to be gaining a bit of traction thanks to the ebook/audiobook versions being featured on Amazon, and I can only hope this continues. I know this is a bold claim, but I have not been this invested in a book series since Harry Potter. I shit you not. So what makes it special? Well...

    1. Speederino


      (No spoilers, I just accidentally wrote an essay)


      On the surface it's kind of like the Narnia series with people from Earth getting zapped into a fantasy world; the two big differences being that it's modern day and the fantasy world has video game mechanics. Everyone who lives there gains classes and levels up, and if you're on the brink of death you can just use a health potion. This might sound kinda fanfic-y in a way, but it just adds to the overall mystery and charm of this world. Even ignoring the levels, the variety of creatures helps the world stand out. It's not just filled with the standard humans/dwarves/elves (although they're all present in some form or another), there's drakes, humanoid ants, hyena-people, living doll people, bird people, and a bunch of other odd beast and monster races.

      But the real reason I love this is for the characters. The "main character" (if she can still be called that) is Erin, a normal girl who suddenly finds herself stranded in this world and inadvertanly becomes an innkeeper. The first book is mostly just her trying to survive and live in this place in a kind of slice-of-life storyline. There's also Ryoka, an athlete from Earth who gets a job as a runner (a delivery person, basically) and is somewhat more focused on figuring out what the hell is going on. I love these characters because they're flawed as shit. Erin's kind and somewhat bubbly, but she's naive, stubborn, and can be a manipulative jerk at times. Ryoka's extremely smart and loyal to her (few) friends, but she's anti-social, hot-headed, and rude. This gives them both so much room for development, and I find this author is really great at subverting my expectations. There have been so many characters I either didn't expect to like or simply didn't care for initially, only for them to either develop or reveal hidden depths that make them a bajillion times more compelling.

      Side-note: this might sound like a happy-go-lucky story of a pair of plucky girls having silly adventures (and sometimes it is), but shit often gets dark. This author isn't as sadistic as George R.R Martin, but let's just say I've maybe possibly shed a few tears here and there. Don't judge me, okay? Without saying too much, the chapters that deal with themes like trauma and PTSD are often the strongest.

      Speaking of Martin, after the first volume things get a little more Game of Thrones-y with multiple characters and a few side-stories. Except unlike most other narratives that tackle so many threads, I can honestly say there isn't a single one I haven't liked. Some can drag on too long, but even those feel like they serve a larger purpose. Nothing feels wasted or pointless here. I'm still only about halfway through the overall series and it's still an ongoing thing, so it might be a while before we know if this all ends up paying off. Either way, the journey to it has me absolutely hooked and I'd be doing it a disservice to not sing its praises at least once. I get the feeling I'll be coming back to this for years and I can only hope its apparent success on Amazon helps the audience grow. It's a total pipe-dream, but if I can ever see a reality where The Wandering Inn becomes known enough to get something like a Netflix series I'll be a very, very happy man.

      Unless the adaptation sucks but I dunno let's take baby steps here.


    2. Sean


      I still have this bookmarked from the last time you mentioned it. Is the entire thing readable for free on this site?

    3. Speederino


      Yes. From my understanding it's a tad rougher to read the first two volumes that way due to some leftover typos (tbf even the "official" ebook releases still have a few), but free is free. I discovered this through the audiobook,  I kinda want to recommend that because the narrator is so fucking good but it's also expensive as shit if you don't already have an Audible token. So uh...

      Yeah just read it on the site, especially if you're unsure.

    4. Crow the BOOLET

      Crow the BOOLET

      I feel like that whenever I recommend something to anyone; It falls on deaf ears most of the time and if they ever do discover it I'm either like "I told ya so" or just plain facepalm because I get ignored for saying something.

    5. Speederino


      Right? And I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle with TWI because it's obscure and originated on the internet by an author who only has a screenname and has gone on record as saying she doesn't write second drafts.

      In other words, it has all the hallmarks of a typical fanfic, except it's not even a fanfic. And it still manages to be fucking good. So I'm bummed out by the fact this will likely never get much recognition, which makes me want to recommend it even more despite knowing most people I talk to will probably never peek at it. This thought bums me out and makes me want to talk about it and-

      I'm a dog chasing my own tail here, basically.

  22. I’m all caught up with urgent stuff at work but there’s still like 3 hours left on the clock and all there is for me to do right now is the really menial stuff that I don’t wanna do. So what should I do, wise internet people?

  23. I don’t understand what birds and bees have to do with childbirth.

    1. Big Panda

      Big Panda

      Bees carrying and depositing pollen into flowers represents male fertilisation.

      Birds laying eggs represents female ovulation.

    2. Tara


      It's a well known fact in the biologist community that birds and bees often have crazy, drunken affairs that lead to a multitude of unplanned pregnancies with bird/bee hybrids.  We're trying to warn you about the dangers of this real threat and why better education could help this unfortunate situation.

    3. Speederino


      Wait wait wait does that mean humanity itself is a bird/bee hybrid? Because I was under the impression they played a role in human childbirth, specifically.

    4. Big Panda

      Big Panda

      It’s just an idiom.

    5. Tara


      Shows what you know, Panda.  My dad made love to a bird and nine months later, a little baby was born.

      It wasn't me, and it wasn't even THEIR baby.  Just saying that in the intervening time, a baby just happened to be born.

    6. Speederino


      Huh. My mother was a bird who made love to a human man. Nice to know there’s someone else out there like me.

  24. God the time change has been throwing me off all day.

    1. Ferno


      had the day off today AND i got an extra hour of sleep and time in the day to do stuff, woke up feelin like


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