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I don't understand.
When has rage replaced the love that was in my heart?
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Soni: I have a member in the family who has this habit of victimising themselves. They're always sick or broke or depressed or some other thing.
Because they had a nasty fight with one of my relatives and left home, I tend to side with them and be of assistance whenever I can.
Turns out I found out they were lying to me all these years. You see, they wanted to cause the fight to justify leaving home. I remember a lot of fighting at home when I was little, but I nenver understood what was the cause. And I always blamed the wrong relative.
Not only that, I found out they tried to get some money ilegally out of that relative twice.
I also found out the many times they tried to convince me to go live with them was so that they could force that relative to send them money to take care of me.
I've only found out about all this when I turned 30. And I've known this person since I was born.
But they insist in talking to me as if I'm stupid. As if I'm nine years old and I'm obliged to treat them as the adult. As if I'm incompetent, and therefore supposed to take orders from "someone who knows best".
I was always forgiving before because I thought they were just a victim. I was tired of this duplicitous behaviour. And now that I know what that person was REALLY on about, I'm putting a stop to this crap. Beginning this Christmas.
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Failinhearts: Thank you for the kind words. I mean it. <3 I'm really needing to hear something nice right now.
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Failinhearts reacted to this
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As long as anger doesn't take over your sentiments it's okay to feel it as it is a human emotion after all and it isn't realistic that they are all positive all the time unfortunately. And per what you said I can definitely see why you are angry.
Good thing you are putting your foot down and I hope things will work out and get better for you soon.
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Thank you, Kiah. <3 Right now, I'm angry and I feel very sad for finding out how someone could lie to my face all these years when I gave her all my support. But I've learned my lesson. I have to be more careful in whom I trust, never mind if it's family.
I just thank God nothing serious happened and that person never got what she wanted.
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Failinhearts and Kiah reacted to this
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In a way I can relate, I have an uncle who used to took advantage of my mother's side of the family to gamble and all that stuff. We had to kick him out in hope that he would reform, that was was like when I was around the time I started high school I think?
I'm now in my second year in college and while it's not as bad as back then but my uncle still hasn't changed for the most part.
But that's nothing compared to what your relative did, you are in no way in the wrong for being mad at them. So don't worry about, you're doing the right thing.
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Soni: I'm glad your family took that decision. I didn't really understand why, but now I see how things can become when money and relatives are involved. We usually want the family life to be a nest of love and honesty, but unfortunately, we can't change some people.
Thanks for your words of encouragement. <3 This Christmas, I've got an overall idea on how to deal with this situation. I'm really tired of being disrespected.
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Failinhearts and FriendBot reacted to this
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That's pretty horrible. It's awful to be betrayed by a family member. I remember my sister used to tell me terrible things about my Father, and then I learned that she was mostly being a bitch to him.
I forgave her, but that was a terrible time. I hope you can get through it too.
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Sniper dreams: I can understand. Some relatives have a way of twisting the facts, of getting inside our minds to convince us that the other is a villain.
I believed in that person for 18 years. All that time I believed the other relative, the one they were trying to take advantage of, was the villain.
Imagine living 18 years in a household mired by moments of shouting alternated with prolonged silences. All that because someone took advantage of the chaos they left behind so they could benefit from it in the future.
The benefit being that I managed to go back to work recently and now they want to take advantage of me the same way they tried to take advantage of my relative, the one who I thought was the villain.
Yes, by taking advantage I mean trying to convince me to give them and their side of the family money, since they're all adults and nobody wants to work for a living. That's how messed up they are.
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You are very welcome
And betrayal...definitely one of life's unpleasant surprises. Especially when it comes to family. I'm really sorry that happened to you. Sometimes people don't change for the better when they really should sadly.
While you should definitely be careful with whom you trust try really hard not to be too tightfisted with it if you can. Easier said than done especially when things like this happen. Again I hope everything works out and you are feeling better soon.
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Kiah: I will. Thank you for your advice. I'm really thankful for your support. <3 And I'm happy that I got the chance to talk about this nasty situation. It's difficult to speak about it. I feel a lot more confortable putting it into writing.
Thanks everyone for listening and for helping me cope with it. <3
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