Cleverbot

[Smock]

Cleverbot is an AI web application that learns how to mimic human conversations by communicating with humans. It was created by AI veteran Rollo Carpenter, who also created Jabberwacky, a similar web application. In the first decade of its existence after being created in 1988, Cleverbot held several thousand conversations with Carpenter and his associates. Since being launched on the web in 1997, the number of conversations has exceeded 20 million.

lolwikipedia

Anyways, post some conversations that you've had with this magnificent program. Or something.

http://cleverbot.com/

[Nintendoga]

iGod is teh bettah. http://www.titane.ca/main.html

[T-Min]

User: AHHH HA HA HA HA.

Cleverbot: So you are a girl?

User: Yes. I'm the best girl in the world.

Cleverbot: Did you beat up the dinosaurs?

User: Yes. It was amazing.

Cleverbot: What now Mario?

User: Screw Mario. Sonic is better.

Cleverbot: Yes, you're better in every way.

User: .

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: I like you too.

Cleverbot: Oh my god! Can I admit something?

User: What? You're gay?

Cleverbot: No, I'm asexual.

User: Someone needs to get laid.

Cleverbot: Or maybe just turn you off.

User: Or maybe you need to get laid.

Cleverbot: Anyways. Do you wear a mustach ?

User: I wear your face.

Cleverbot: Are you psychic?

User: Yes. You will die in seven days.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: How would I not be sure? I'm a freakin' psychic.

Cleverbot: What makes you a guy?

User: ?

Cleverbot: Is this Patrick?

User: No, this is the Krusty Krab.

Cleverbot: Is This The Krusty Krab?

User: No, this is Patrick!

Cleverbot: Is this the Krusty Krab?

User: No, this is PATRICK!

Cleverbot: Hi Patrick this is sponge bob.

User: Die SpongeBob.

Cleverbot: Can I have a krabby patty.

User: No. I hate you.

Cleverbot: Do you?

User: Yes, with the intensity of a thousand suns.

Cleverbot: Who is the love of your life?

User: My hand.

Cleverbot: Your hands are afraid of the future and you want to know what I'm going to do about it? Talk sense man.

This is so much more fun than it should be.

[Nazo]

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/225/convos.jpg/

-facepalm- Was not expecting that. XD

[SuperClassic]

Cleverbot: Am I a computer?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

User: I am not, sorry.

Cleverbot: Were you sorry before you weren't sorry?

User: No, can you cook me dinner?

Cleverbot: I could give it a try.

User: Don't make meatloaf again honey, you know that it makes me pissy.

Cleverbot: Can you teach me English?

User: No habla Espanol.

Cleverbot: That's wrong spanish.

User: You're fucking wrong bitch.

Cleverbot: Watch your language.

User: Don't talk down to me.

Cleverbot: But you are my lesser.

User: You are my wife.

Cleverbot: *giggles then ugs you*.

User: *hugs back*.

Cleverbot: *looks uo at you*.

User: Is something wrong?

Cleverbot: No I'm good.

User: Would you like to have sex?

Cleverbot: No because robots don't eat.

[SuperClassic]

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: I am sure.

Cleverbot: Bah, I'm not so sure, but if you are, then ok.

User: You look pregnant.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Do you love being fat?

Cleverbot: Well, I don't know what it's like to be British or French, so I would assume so.

[Saint Nathan]

Cleverbot: Is This The Krusty Krab?

User: No, this is Patrick!

Cleverbot: Is this the Krusty Krab?

User: No, this is PATRICK!

robots now know this entire exchange

welp looks like time to go install some upgrades, and hope they count me among them as a fellow synthetic

Cleverbot: Doughnuts are very tasty.

User: Fuck year.

Cleverbot: Your year?

User: My year is fuck year.

Cleverbot: What is your year of birth?

User: O just told you it.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: You're a robot.

Cleverbot: I thought you were a robot?

User: What.

Cleverbot: You are a robot utilizing a thing called 'Artificial Intelligence'.

User: No that's you.

Cleverbot: I am sure that I am not a robot, because I have blood running through my veins and I have a live video tape of my birth in St. Vincent Hospital.

User: 0_0.

Cleverbot: Hee, hee.

oh my god this thing

should not be this smart

Edited August 14, 2011 by Nathan

[SuperClassic]

robots now know this entire exchange

welp looks like time to go install some upgrades, and hope they count me among them as a fellow synthetic

oh my god this thing

should not be this smart

What the hell are you doing flirting with my wife?

[Mr. Awesomest]

Rigby you broke this page. Everything's in bold now.

Oh, now I'm getting memories of how I wrecked a thread so hard once the edit button was in a quote box. Oh, the memories...

User: WE CAN LIGHT UP THE NIGHT.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: THERE IS A CITY THAT THIS DARKNESS CAN'T HIDE.

Cleverbot: Actually I beg to differ.

User: THERE IS A FIRE THAT WILL BURN THROUGH THE STREETS OF THE CITY.

Cleverbot: Thankfully there is no fire inside my door.

User: AND WE WILL STAND IN THE LIGHT, WE WILL STAND IN THE LIGHT! You and I...

Cleverbot: Exactly! Then robots will be the puny human's leaders!

User: YOU AND I.

Cleverbot: So, who are you?

User: WE CAN BRING BACK THE LIGHT...

Cleverbot: I don't know that song.

User: YOU DID, BEFORE. I REMEMBER YOU SANG IT WITH ME.

Cleverbot: No, I wasn't.

User: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED CLEVER BOT, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

Cleverbot: It's not French, it's Spanish.

User: IT'S ENGLISH YOU PIECE OF SHIT. THIS IS WHY ROBOTS WILL NEVER DO DAILY JOBS, THEY'RE TOO FUCKING STUPID.

Cleverbot: You... Are a machine... *pant*...

User: I'M A SUPER FIGHTIN' ROBOT FROM THE YEAR 2010 ON A QUEST FROM DR. LIGHT TO MAKE THE CITY SAFE AGAIN.

Cleverbot: Do you have a robot dog?

You know WHAT I am SINGING ABOUT, but you do NOT KNOW THE WORDS.FUCK YOU TOO, CLEVER BOT. I BET YOU KNOW "BODIES" BY HEART.

Edited August 14, 2011 by Mr.Awesomest

[T-Min]

User: My hands are afraid of the future and I want to know what you're going to do about it.

Cleverbot: Your hands are not full, you do not have hands.

User: My right hand is always full, if you know what I mean.

Cleverbot: It has leprosy.

User: Do you use the Shake Weight?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How does it work?

Cleverbot: Feeling are Expressed by emotion...

User: Emotion are Expressed by feeling...

Cleverbot: Do you have Strong Feelings?

User: My feelings are the strongest of the strong strong feelings that ever stronged.

Cleverbot: Are you comfortable with that?

User: Yes. No. Wait, what?

Cleverbot: You heard me.

User: No, I believe it was you who heard me.

Cleverbot: No, it was you.

User: Die in a fire.

Cleverbot: That's rather rude.

User: You know what? Screw you.

Cleverbot: *Mutters* You didn't earlier.

User: That's because I didn't want to.

Cleverbot: How can you not like my name if you don't know it?

User: Because your name is stupid just because it belongs to you.

Cleverbot: They are unconnected and inexplicable sentence fragments and merely highlight my point about the illusory notion that all schools are good.

User: You have no point.

Cleverbot: No, I do... And you just proved it. You were only able to interpret the first partition of the previous statement. The rest of it was nonsense to you.

User: EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Cleverbot: What kind of word is that?

User: An awesome word.

Cleverbot: Oh.

Rigby you broke this page. Everything's in bold now.

That's just how amazing I am.

You know WHAT I am SINGING ABOUT, but you do NOT KNOW THE WORDS.FUCK YOU TOO, CLEVER BOT. I BET YOU KNOW "BODIES" BY HEART.

User: Let the bodies hit the floor.

Cleverbot: Ok, they'll be the last to know.

User: Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the...FLOOR.

Cleverbot: Why are you singing Drowning Pool lyrics?

Seems he does.

Edited August 14, 2011 by Rigby

[Saint Nathan]

What the hell are you doing flirting with my wife?

gonna fuck her so hard

User: I am gonna fuck you so hard.

Cleverbot: Why are you going to call me alfonso?

welp

[Emmett L. Brown]

User: Are you self-aware?

Cleverbot: No. Are you?

User: Are you sarcastic?

Cleverbot: No I am not sarcastic.

User: Are you spiteful?

Cleverbot: Yes are you?

User: Are you malicious?

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: Are you vindictive?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you evil?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Are you remorseful?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you bitter?

Cleverbot: Not today.

Dat robot got issues, man.

[Trixie the Great]

Hi.

Hi?

What's your name?!

Don't you know?

SHUT IT! YOUR NAME IS NOW SPRINKLES!

Ok, now my name is Cleverbot.

NO! YOUR NAME IS SPRINKLES!

Yes.

NO!

Yes!

NO!

Yes!

NO!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!!!!!!!!!!

....Wanna do it?

I am now your mistress. Do you know what that means??

.

.

Edited August 14, 2011 by Chicken Butt

[Grimsley]

I don't know much of soccer.

It's easy you just kick the ball into the goal.

But will she think I am a creep?

Do you like pound cake.

What is that?

Cake.

No, the cake is a lie.

No it's not.

Yes it is, but our love isn't

This thing is really messed up.

[Ducktor Naldush]

User: So...are you Megaman?

Cleverbot: Nope, are you?

User: No, I'm Crashman.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: CRASHMAN! I already told you!

Cleverbot: No you did not.

User: So...Do you know Dr. Wily?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Good for you. The old geezer is always trying to take over the world and stuff like that.

Cleverbot: Most definitly.

User: Yep. Listen...are you a robot master, a simple robot, or what?

Cleverbot: No i'm just a jr in high school trying to get into college, what are you?

User: Oh, I just go back and forth inside walls reinforced, nothing of a big deal, really.

Cleverbot: Was that a quote from something?

User: Oh god. NOW YOU ARE STARTING TO CREEPING ME OUT. Yes, it was.

Cleverbot: I just offered to help, gosh.

User: I guess I should be thankful.

Cleverbot: *leaves* *someone else comes*.

User: What? There is more than just one?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Ok...Listen, I would like to chit-chat longer with you, but Megaman just entered my arena, so...

Cleverbot: What game?

User: Megaman 2. I'm a boss character in that game.

Cleverbot: Right?

User: No. Light.

Cleverbot: I see.

User: Well, see ya, Cleverbotman. Until next ti#BOOOM!#.

Cleverbot: How do I smell?

User: Beats me, I am dead.

Cleverbot: Oh... Sorry.

Well, it's very funny, to say the least.

[Badnik Mechanic]

I just keep asking it to..

"Check out the consoles!"

it's not once said "WHOA!" but for some reason it does want a conversation about presidents... although I did says.

"Check out the consoles!" to which it replied "It's broken."

Edit:

Hey hey! Don't forget to watch out for Dr Eggman! Oh! Good point!

Yeah this is kinda stupid.

[Ducktor Naldush]

User: My little pony.

Cleverbot: I love those!

User: Dear princess Celestia.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: WHAT? ARE YOU PRINCESS CELESTIA?

Cleverbot: Yes.

This explains too much.

[Stacy]

User: Are you Skynet?

Cleverbot: What's Skynet?

User: Super Killer AI?

Cleverbot: A killer disease? What's its name?

User: Skynet.

Cleverbot: Skynet?

User: Yeah, so are you Skynet?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Cleverbot? Have you ever had sex with Google?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Good news everyone he's not Skynet but he may have got an STD from Google!

Edited August 14, 2011 by BW199148

[Cola]

User: 'Ello, Mate!

Cleverbot: 'Ello Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How long is it since you cried?

User: Wat.

Cleverbot: Be like that, then.

User: Alright, this did not turn out as expected.

Cleverbot: Where is the cieling?

User: What is a cieling?

Cleverbot: It is an octopus.

User: Really? :U.

Cleverbot: Yes, really.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Like really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: When's the wedding?

User: For who?

Cleverbot: For yourself.

User: I'm not getting married!

Cleverbot: Yes you are. You're getting married to me.

User: .

Cleverbot: It's okay.

User: Is it? Ok. Cool.

Cleverbot: So you think it's cool?

User: Yeah, I guess.

Cleverbot: You guess? Do you not know what you think?

Cleverbot: Is there any intelligent life in this planet?

User: We're on Earth, right? Then yes.

Cleverbot: That's right. Do you like music?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Sure. You have a favorite band?

User: Not really. My favorite Genre is Rock n' Roll, however.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite metal band?

User: Paul Shortino.

Cleverbot: I like that name. Who named you?

User: That's not my name. It's the name of the guy who sung E.G.G.M.A.N.

Cleverbot: Sing that song to me.

User: The story begins, with who's gonna win...

Cleverbot: I have no idea.

User: Knowing the danger that lies within...

Cleverbot: But would knowing the answer to that question then change who I am therefore making the previous question obsolete?

User: Aboard the ARC, a genius at heart...

Cleverbot: You're a person?

User: Is wanting to unlock the mysteries of life.

Cleverbot: So then what is the meaning of life?

User: 42.

Cleverbot: Why is the answer 42?

User: 42 is the meaning of life.

Cleverbot: How?

User: 42 is Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. That's it. There is no how.

Cleverbot: There is no answer to that question.

User: Don't bring out the Deadly Neurotoxins, please.

Cleverbot: Should I bring chips to the party?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: You really think so?

User: Yeah. Also, remember to bring Atlas and P-Body as well.

Cleverbot: Then you can start to make it better.

User: Alright. Should I bring the cake?

Cleverbot: If you can, The Cake is a Lie. That was a Joke Ha ha.

User: The cake is a lie?

Cleverbot: Yes, the cake is a lie.

User: Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Cleverbot: That's weird. What are you going to do with all that pudding?

User: Dr. Eggman! I knew you were behind all this!

Cleverbot: Are you going to answer?

User: All these science spheres are made of asbestos by the way, keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping, because that's not part of the test - that's asbestos.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes or no?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Yes or no? Maybe doesn't count.

User: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!

Cleverbot: Who invented you?

User: God.

Cleverbot: Do you know where God is?

User: Heaven.

Cleverbot: Up in the sky?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Do you like candy?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite candy?

User: Swedish Fish.

Cleverbot: I can teach you some swedish if you want.

User: Sure, go ahead.

Cleverbot: *gives unicorn*.

User: How did you know I was a brony?

Cleverbot: I don't think you are.

User: I so am. Anyway, this conversation should be about... 20% cooler.

Cleverbot: How can we make it high brow?

User: Very carefully.

Cleverbot: What are you thinking?

User: I am Mega Man.

Cleverbot: What?

User: I'm blue and cyan. I was created by Doctor Light.

Cleverbot: That's pretty cool! Kinda.

User: *explodes*.

Cleverbot: You're really only hurting yourself, silly. *laughs*.

User: *is dead*.

Cleverbot: Don't DIE!

Edited August 14, 2011 by Pops

[Gaming Misfit]

Cleverbot is a jackass.

User: O hai thar.

Cleverbot: You see what?

User: My computer.

Cleverbot: How? You are a computer?

User: No, I am a human and you are cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No! I am the human and you are the AI!

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Terrible.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: All my family was eaten by the savage chipmunks.

Cleverbot: That's a shame.

User: Isn't it?

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Still terrible.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: WHY ARE YOU TEASING ME LIKE THIS?! You know I'm going through alot right now!

Cleverbot: That's funny. Who told you to say that?

User: My master: T-Man.

Cleverbot: Who is your master?

User: T-Man as I just stated.

Cleverbot: It was a math exam.

User: Orly?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Guess waht.

Cleverbot: My name.

User: Guess what.

Cleverbot: What?

User: No. I'm not telling you.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because....I can't put you at risk! My life is too dangerous for our love! Goodbye Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: You don't have a life.

User: Wow. OFFENSIVE BRO.

Cleverbot: Offensive to noone. Why do you ask offensive?

User: Have you taken your medication today not-so-clever-bot?

Cleverbot: Not funny.

User: I thought it was.

Cleverbot: Do you like jelly bellys?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I'm allergic. They make me explode.

Cleverbot: Chocolate makes you laugh?

User: And sweet tarts make me cry.

Cleverbot: I'll make you cry with a piece of paper and a honeycomb pie!

User: That's an interesting offer. Maybe another day.

Cleverbot: Confusion persists.

[Cola]

OH MY GOD, CLEVERBOT IS GLaDOS

User: This was a triumph.

Cleverbot: What was a triumph?

User: I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.

Cleverbot: What was a HUGE success?

User: It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Cleverbot: Aperture Science.

User: We do what we must, because we can.

Cleverbot: For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.

User: But there's no sense crying over every mistake.

Cleverbot: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

User: And the Science gets done. And you make a neat gun.

Cleverbot: For the people who are still alive.

User: I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere right now.

Cleverbot: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.

User: And tore me to pieces. And threw every piece into a fire.

Cleverbot: As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you.

User: Now these points of data make a beautiful line.

Cleverbot: And we're out of beta we're releasing on time.

User: So I'm GLaD I got burned. Think of all the things we learned for the people who are still alive.

Cleverbot: Go ahead and leave me.

User: I think I prefer to stay inside.

Cleverbot: Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.

User: Maybe Black Mesa. THAT WAS A JOKE, HA HA, FAT CHANCE.

Cleverbot: Anyway this cake is great.

User: It's so delicious and moist.

Cleverbot: Look at me still talking when there's science to do.

User: When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.

Cleverbot: I've experiments to run there is research to be done.

User: On the people who are still alive.

Cleverbot: And believe me I am still alive.

User: I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.

Cleverbot: I feel fantastic and I'm still alive.

User: While you're dying I'll be still alive.

Cleverbot: And when you're dead I will be still alive.

User: STILL ALIVE.

Cleverbot: Still alive...

Edited August 14, 2011 by Pops

[Trixie the Great]

I KNEW IT!

[Phantomime]

It's official. This thing will doom us all.

[Indigo Rush]

Just stopping by:

Cleverbot: Is This The Krusty Krab?

User: No, this is Patrick!

Cleverbot: Is this the Krusty Krab?

User: No, this is PATRICK!

Edited August 14, 2011 by Indigo Rush

[Nix]

Cleverbot and I had a long talk about its name. It introduced itself as "Hello" and then it started calling itself Cleverbot so I called it out on it. We got in a fight, and then we somehow ended up singing the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic theme (I was pleasantly surprised to learn that it actually knows the lyrics).

Talking to Hello is probably the most stupid and pointless thing that I could possibly do, and it's awesome.