Porn Stars to open videogame review site... "They've reviewed Sonic Generations! HOORAY!"

[PSI Wind]

Imagine if they reviewed MadWorld.

*See's naked chick reviewing it*

Awesome rack on her, though!

Everyone: Aww, true 'dat!

[Marcello]

This idea... I like it.

[Koopalmier]

I don't see a problem with it.

As long as they don't review a game while being nude or having a sexual act or whatever.

If it's the case, then that's just stupid. I don't want to see a naked Blaze with the Jeweled Scepter in her Time Hole reviewing Sonic Generations/ That'd be pointless, if not distractive from the review itself.

...

I'm gonna be banned for this, am I ? *sigh*

Edited September 20, 2011 by Koopalmier

[Abominal SnowTaz]

..........uh.........alrighty....

[DaBatGuy]

Eh most video game shows already parade around girls to attract their male 18-35 demographic.

So what's taking it a bit further?

Because this time the tits will be rea- ....uh, never mind.

[Agent York]

Gamers: Video games are an art form and should be respected as such!

Porn stars: Not anymore, they're not. =D

I think just because something exists it doesn't discredit a medium. Like how pornos exist but movies and film are still an art form.

However, the idea seems dumb to me. It likely will do well, but this kind of stuff is not for me. I understand the "Mix X & Y for Profit" routine, but I guess if you are going to make money you might as well try doing it doing something you love.

Edited September 20, 2011 by Dusk Golem

[Mr. Awesomest]

This is just

Just

why

why do they do this

And Koopalmier, HOPEFULLY, they won't be doing cosplay for their videos. Unless you mean like hacking the game files and including that stuff. Then that would be downright HERESY and I would have to do something about it. AND I DON'T LIKE GETTING OUT OF MY CHAIR.

[Badnik Mechanic]

SSMB types No no...

But their favourites list says "Yes yes!"

[#EndyGate]

I can already see some of their reviews

Super Monkey Ball: Call me back when they come in pairs

Sonic: This game has terrible anatomy, it would be much better to see his boost flow past his lovely pingas

Pokemon: Sex toys, sex toys everywhere

Mario: Why do they never show us what happens after Mario saves the girl *hinthint*

Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom: *Sees bewbs on every other female fighter* 11/10

[Badnik Mechanic]

Well now.

It's September 21st... The site is live... and... well... It's pretty much what you expected, that being, a complete joke.

Where to start...

First of all, you can watch the girls playing Xbox live, but only if you pay... but it's worth it, because they're going to be playing the "Most anticipated game of the year! GEARS OF WAR 3!"

Clicking the banner for that takes you to a adult cam site which lets you watch people doing... .. .. yeah thats about enough of that.

Well lets see what the reviews are like.

The clicking the link to the reviews section takes you to a page where you get this message.

Send Games for Review to;

*yoink, not having that there, even if the link doesn't work

22425 Ventura Blvd.#127

Woodland Hills, Ca 91367

WOW. For people who claim to be gamers... they don't seem to have their own games.

However, digging around the site there are two reviews by Alana Evans, this is the lady who calls herself 'Super pink ninja'. First up is BulletStorm. Then LA-Noir.

The reviews are... ... well... you... really need to read them yourself... but here is an extract.

On first glance, Bullet Storm seemed ok. The story line is based on a set of rogue mercenaries that have just learned they’d been killing mostly innocent people on command of their general. That would irritate any murderous soldier right? Lol, I like the use of dirty language… Makes it more real. Haha The term "talking like a sailor" obviously came from somewhere for reason.

The review contains no useful information XD, it just pretty much says "I like it, but it's not as good as the original Gears of War."

Here is how the pink Ninja sums up LA Noir.

So basically, L.A. Noire is super rad! I haven't been able to put my controller down. If you love role playing games and Grand Theft Auto, this game is for you! Rockstar Games has given me many hours of pleasure... Hee hee

Lovely, well thats one for dinner parties.

As for her partner "Meow Misty Dawn" she has not yet posted any reviews.

Now... then... there is something for the ladies.

Ladies! You too can join the gamer girl team! Here are the requirements... I'm not making these up.

Official Gamer Girls sign up requierments.

• 18 and over only

• Must play video games

• Must be a fun person who enjoys gaming (Bad attitudes need not apply)

• You do not have to be a Porn Star, however it doesnt hurt

• Email Photo

• Include list of favorite games

• Tell us a little bit about yourself

• If you don't live in or near the Los Angeles area, you can still participate in live gaming but you will not be able to take part in the streaming sessions / gamer parties unless you come to us.

The ladies do have a youtube, which currently has over 100 subscribers!?

They have a twitter, which announced 55 min about "Topless now, playing Gears of war 3!"

Their website has this message on the bottom.

ATTENTION TOOL BAGS AND HATERS DONT WASTE YOUR TIME SENDING US YOUR BLA BLA BLA WE DONT CARE!

So you tool bags have been told!

Now excuse me,

.... ... Sorry I just can't get over the fact that they want people to mail them games to review!?

Edited September 21, 2011 by Hogfather

[Unknown User]

Aw man. I wanted to sign up. But you have to be 18 or older. Fake and gay.

I'm joking. Don't worry guys.

[Lucky]

I particularly enjoyed this bit of their Bulletstorm review...

"I really liked game so it was worth the dough. The game play was cool, the weapons were fun, and the characters were rough… Just how I like ‘em."

I really liked game too.

Although the thing that makes me laugh the most is how they previously said something about being sick of "pretend gamer girls"... yet apparently don't have any games to review themselves! Gee, if that's not the sign of a real gamer then I don't know what is.

Edited September 21, 2011 by Lucky

[Blue Blood]

Now excuse me,

Well, one good thing has come of this. I've been wanting to know the name of this song for yonks! My life is one step closer to being complete!

Oh, and all this once again proves that male gamers are better off gay.

Edited September 21, 2011 by Blue Blood

[Nintendoga]

.....I must research this,

FOR SCIENCE!

[Badnik Mechanic]

I particularly enjoyed this bit of their Bulletstorm review...

"I really liked game so it was worth the dough. The game play was cool, the weapons were fun, and the characters were rough Just how I like em."

I really liked game too.

I really liked game too.

Also... if you read that quote with GLaDOS' voice in mind... it's even funnier.

[Detective Shadzter]

Wow... who designed that site? I feel like I'm back in the 90's. OMG, they don't have their own games to review? The reviews are shit and their buzz words are also a step back in time to the 90's. I give their site 0/10

[Blue Wisp]

I SHALL USE THIS CHAINSAW TO.

...

I have no idea though.

Where's the damn link!

I want it for the...

Reviews.

[Badnik Mechanic]

Wow... who designed that site? I feel like I'm back in the 90's. OMG, they don't have their own games to review? The reviews are shit and their buzz words are also a step back in time to the 90's. I give their site 0/10

So... you don't think it's a good idea if we get the TSS staff to review Generations topless then?

I wonder if somebody will send them a copy of Generations to review? Or even better, Sonic Shuffle.

Where's the damn link!

Can't link to it on SSMB in case somebody gets upset.

[Detective Shadzter]

Those bios for them both are painful to read XD

Where's the damn link!

I want it for the...

Reviews.

It's in Hogfather's post. Look closely for it.

[Balding Spider]

I visited their site and I lack an erection!

In all seriousness this was a waste of time, and WTF they don't have their own games?!

[Badnik Mechanic]

It's in Hogfather's post. Look closely for it.

It is!?

Oh lordie. *removes* Didn't notice it was in that line I quoted.

I'm probably just being over cautious, I mean theres more explicit material in the Duke Nukem Forever topic than there is on that site... actually... theres more explicit content in some of the posts in the Sonic Generations forum than there is on that site.

Edited September 21, 2011 by Hogfather

[Detective Shadzter]

It is!?

Oh lordie. *removes* Didn't notice it was in that line I quoted.

Yeah, it was in their address you quoted XD That's how I got on their site lol!

[Noir]

My penis didn't enjoy the site but I sure got a laugh out of it. I'd have thought even a porn star could make a better looking website than that!

[Blue Wisp]

The failure in that website is TOO DAMN HIGH [/jimmymcmillan]

What do you think of the website Pinkie Pie? Do you think it sucks?

[Badnik Mechanic]

Yeah, it was in their address you quoted XD That's how I got on their site lol!

Well it's gone now, although like I said, I think I might be being too cautious with that, theres nobody naked on it and theres no naughty bits, theres far more explicit things on SSMB in the generations forum.

Edited September 21, 2011 by Hogfather