Puss in Boots...for CD-I?

[T-Min]

Earlier, The Place Rocker and I were discussing nostalgic movies that don't hold up. During this nostalgia goggle-breaking discussion, I decided to look up a list of 90's animated movies on Wikipedia to see if I could find some bad ones that we had watched. In the process, I noticed that in the list of 1991 animated movies, a film called "Puss in Boots" had been listed (there was no article for it, however). What with a recent DreamWorks film of the same name coming out and all, it piqued my interest and further research revealed this monstrosity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=WPrzs2Gw5Tw (part 1 of the movie, if you dare)

I...just...WHAT THE BALLS IS THIS? I can't be sure if this is the same one listed in the Wikipedia article, but whatever it is...just look. The animationis simply laughable, looking almost like some sort of proto-flash bullcrap made with cardboard cutouts. The jokes range from stereotypical cartoon cliches to "so-unfunny-it's-almost-funny", and the songs are...well, the one at 12:49 in the second video is about as good as they get.

Just...WHAT. THE. F**K.

Discuss. d:

Edited October 30, 2011 by T-Man

[SHAX Hedgefox]

Oh my god, that video looked atrocious. It kind of reminded me of that animated Titanic movie, only with far worse animation and jokes.

I love how it mentions an "all star cast" and yet fails to mention a single member of the cast. And how they also managed to get that one guy who did the voice overs for every single cartoon/animated movie trailer in the 80's and 90's to advertise the movie.

[Snatcher2047]

Wow. That is one of the most abysmal looking animated features I've ever seen. I've seen stuff on Newgrounds better than that.

What shocks me is that they got the Disney trailer voice over guy to do the trailer. I have to wonder if he gets to watch the trailer as he's doing the voice over and he had to try everything he could to sell this piece of garbage.

[krazystitch]

...That actually hurt to watch. Wow, that was bad..the crappy and slapped together animation, the lazy and plain voice acting read by some unimaginative and boring script writing. I honestly can't believe I just tried to watch 2 minutes of that..

[CoffeeGrunt]

I managed about a minute of it.

Dear Faust, you have been kind to my animation palette.

[Tornado]

Wouldn't be surprised if this is the superior movie to "Shrek Minus Shrek," though.

[FRiNKEL BUNNY]

If only we could un-see things...

[Place]

Did we mention that's also a musical?

Everybody choosing to leave after a few minutes of viewing, it ONLY. GETS. WORSE.

[Stacy]

At first I thought why are Dreamworks releasing a new movie on a 20 year old crappy video game console!

Than I read the OP's first post and found out that its a crappy film/video game called Puss in Boots for an outdated crappy video game console.

Everybody knows that anything that the CD-I touches turns into poopy doo doo ass shit!

Edited October 30, 2011 by BW199148

[krazystitch]

Did we mention that's also a musical?

Everybody choosing to leave after a few minutes of viewing, it ONLY. GETS. WORSE.

[T-Min]

At first I thought why are Dreamworks releasing a new movie on a 20 year old crappy video game console!

Than I read the OP's first post and found out that its a crappy film/video game called Puss in Boots for an outdated crappy video game console.

Everybody knows that anything that the CD-I touches turns into poopy doo doo ass shit!

[Sami]

My reaction to that song:

... Oh my. o -o

[CoffeeGrunt]

I love how terrible the lyrics are, but how awesome the guy's voice is.

I want him to narrate my life.

[Place]

I love how terrible the lyrics are, but how awesome the guy's voice is.

I want him to narrate my life.

[Stacy]

Ehm. It's not actually for CD-I. XD I was just saying that to describe the quality of the animation.

What are you talking about? The songs are gold! Listen to this one:

Clearly this is gold.

"WHY WONTCHOO MARRY ME EYE LOVE YOU SO WHY WONTCHOO MARRY ME PRINCESS..."

That voice!

Kinda?

[CoffeeGrunt]

COFFEEGRUNT WENT TO THE STORE OH YES HE DID COFFEEGRUNT WENT TO COFFEEGRUNT WENT TO GO SHOPPING~

HE BOUGHT A DAIRY MILK OH YEH A DAIRY MILK COFFEEGRUNT BOUGHT A DAIRY MILK

[Kevin]

Ehm. It's not actually for CD-I. XD I was just saying that to describe the quality of the animation.

What are you talking about? The songs are gold! Listen to this one:

Clearly this is gold.

"WHY WONTCHOO MARRY ME EYE LOVE YOU SO WHY WONTCHOO MARRY ME PRINCESS..."

I laughed so hard due how horrible that was, I want to watch this movie just laugh at it since it looks like it's a "so bad, it's good" type of movie. This is begging the a thatguywiththeglasses review.

[sonfan1984]

Ehm. It's not actually for CD-I. XD I was just saying that to describe the quality of the animation.

What are you talking about? The songs are gold! Listen to this one:

Clearly this is gold.

"WHY WONTCHOO MARRY ME EYE LOVE YOU SO WHY WONTCHOO MARRY ME PRINCESS..."

I've sat through the whole thing. What the hell did I just watch?

Edited October 30, 2011 by sonfan1984

[Stacy]

What the hell did I just watch?

An abomination of all animation-kind?

Is it me or do the backgrounds and character animations like really strange together especially around the characters?

[Milo]

I laughed so hard due how horrible that was, I want to watch this movie just laugh at it since it looks like it's a "so bad, it's good" type of movie. This is begging the a thatguywiththeglasses review.

Exactly what I was thinking!

[Axl.EXE]

This movie is...

Sweet Jesus have mercy. I could make better animation, and I suck elephant balls at Flash animation.

[NiGHTS]

Wow....looked like a little kid's project slapped together. Does anyone have a review on this? I want to actually see this on a website fully reviewed and gagged on.

[Place]

Well folks, it would appear that there is ANOTHER movie animated solely by the maker of the Puss crapstravaganza. He owns/owned his own company and plasters his signature on everything cause he thinks he's Walt Disney or some shit.

Get it?

SEALED by a kiss? It's about SEALS?! AHAHAHA(cough)

Anyways, you can definitely tell that the animation is better, but this doesn't make up for the loose, scrambled plot, bland characters, over-the-top and therefore ANNOYING characters, bad pun overuse, unfunny innuendo references, terrible running jokes, having hardly ANYTHING to do with Romeo and Juliet; the list goes on, I tell you!

Oh, and like Puss, it's also a musical. Enjoy.

Edited November 6, 2011 by ThePlaceRocker

[T-Min]

Well folks, it would appear that there is ANOTHER movie animated solely by the maker of the Puss crapstravaganza. He owns/owned his own company and plasters his signature on everything cause he thinks he's Walt Disney or some shit.

Get it?

SEALED by a kiss? It's about SEALS?! AHAHAHA(cough)

Anyways, you can definitely tell that the animation is better, but this doesn't make up for the loose, scrambled plot, bland characters, over-the-top and therefore ANNOYING characters, bad pun overuse, unfunny innuendo references, terrible running jokes, having hardly ANYTHING to do with Romeo and Juliet; the list goes on, I tell you!

Oh, and like Puss, it's also a musical. Enjoy.

Don't forget the numerous Big Lipped Alligator Moments, horrible musical sequences including a rap that hearkens back to a certain other "great" movie that involved the Titanic, and, well...every second that you're watching this movie. And on the subject of annoying characters, that fish makes me want to eat someone's babies. Preferably Phil Nibbelink's.

F**k this move and f**k Phil Nibbelink for making it.

Why can't we stop watching bad movies, Place. Why.

EDIT - The Aftermath:

The Place Rocker: I 'd like to think that we could actually be the first to review these.

[5:30:51 AM] The Place Rocker: Shed some light on these forgotten turds of the past.

[5:31:03 AM] T-Man: Indeed

[5:31:11 AM] T-Man: And they ARE turds.

[5:31:12 AM] T-Man: Huge turds.

[5:31:23 AM] T-Man: From an anus

[5:31:27 AM] The Place Rocker: Like

[5:31:57 AM] The Place Rocker: Turds that are so huge, you wonder how we could have forgotten about them.

[5:32:09 AM] T-Man: Indeed

[5:32:18 AM] T-Man: Brown marks on history that have never gone away

[5:32:27 AM] T-Man: Scars on the human race that will stay with it forever

[5:32:36 AM] T-Man: A testament to the true evil of humanity

[5:32:50 AM] The Place Rocker: The giant round ceramic bowl of history

[5:32:50 AM] T-Man: Maybe that's the genius behind them in the end

[5:33:04 AM] T-Man: to teach us about true human nature

[5:34:02 AM] The Place Rocker: You don't watch them for what they were intended to do, you watch for the true potential, the true stench of shameless cash-in.

[5:34:14 AM] T-Man: Yes, YES.

[5:34:22 AM] T-Man: Perhaps that is the meaning of life.

[5:34:27 AM] T-Man: Don't you see, Place?

[5:34:34 AM] The Place Rocker: I...

[5:34:36 AM] T-Man: It's been staring us in the face all along!

[5:34:51 AM] The Place Rocker: I...

[5:34:55 AM] T-Man: The true purpose of our pitiful, otherwise meaningless lives!

[5:34:59 AM] T-Man: We've got to have...

[5:35:05 AM] T-Man: MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYY...

[5:35:19 AM] The Place Rocker: I...never thought of it that way....

[5:35:44 AM] The Place Rocker: Money is such, a beautiful word...

[5:35:52 AM] T-Man: I know, I know...

Let this be a lesson to all of you confused, young individuals reading this right now.

You've got to have...moneyyyyyyy...

Edited November 6, 2011 by Heroes Inferno

[TheGerkuman]

You guys really have a low tolerance for this kind of thing, don't you.

Yeah, it's a bad film, but it's not physically painful for you to watch. If anything, I love these kind of films because I can't stop laughing when I watch them.