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Komodin

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Very good, Komodin. Everything and everyone is perfectly in character, and the original characters introduced are believable. Usually, stories such as this (a crossover in which the main character from another franchise takes on the main role in a story-adaption of a game) are rather difficult to pull off, but you're doing a very fine job of it.

Ah, thank you. Yes, writing this sort of crossover is rather difficult to do right, mainly because of the worries of doing either side of the crossover any justice. Admittedly, when writing this, I sometimes wonder if I should bring other Sonic characters into the mix to make sure things don't seem one-sided on the "Zelda" side, but I got something in mind that will address that, in a way.

 

The dark bits you threw in with the guard and the thief were perfect. In a game where you witness such dark themes first hand, it fits in perfectly. If I remember right, you can actually kill the thief (not so much kill as blow up) in the game by shooting at him with the hookshot/arrows, causing the bombs to go off. Shooting bubbles only makes him drop the bag, but this is a novelization.

Yes, you're remembering right. However, along with the "novelization" justification, you could take it like this: with everything that had happened to Sonic up until that point, Sonic was actually so consumed with rage that the bubble shot he fired was particularly stronger than normal.

 

The only real issue I had with the story was the color of text. I don't mean to nitpick, but I found the black text to be sort of distracting. Perhaps it's just me. Either way, wonderful job.

No, Rants, it's not just you. With the way I have the site theme displayed -- I.P. Board, for my laptop's sake -- I forgot to format the text color to take into account the "Sonical" users. That's a massive failing on my part, and it will be fixed. Thank you for pointing this out to me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh, you didn't miss anything so far. This is indeed Chapter 10 -- that was just a typo on my part. Chapter 11 is still being worked on, but I gotta put it on hold until Thursday, as I've got some college work and final exams to worry about right now.

 

Okay, thanks for setting the records straight as I was just checking as I have been following this story since the very beginning and I intend on keeping up with ya until the end!

 

Ah, yes, I've made absolutely sure that Sonic at least made an effort to keep a cool head despite everything that is going on around him. It isn't really my place to say this, considering the subjectivity of this sort of thing, but for the first part of this story, I'm trying to write Sonic as an "Iron Woobie" of sorts. That is, he's the sort of character who continues to soldier on despite all of the traumatic things that is happening to and around them. Again, there is that possibility that it's not coming across as clear as I want it to, but hey, effort's effort, I guess.

 

Oh no, you did fine! Sonic is definitely soldiering on amid all the traumatic things that have happened...you got that across in your writings very clearly. Crystal clear, to be exact. Your efforts definitely paid off, like usual. wink.png  

 

Ah, this is an intentional move on my part. I mean, Tatl is supposed to be a sort of minor antagonist for Sonic through this part of the story, seeing as they only teamed up out of a mutual desire to find the Skull Kid, but as I was working on this chapter, I was starting to wonder if I was making her too antagonistic for her role in the story. With the way things were going, later events in the story involving her would've came across as being a wee bit contrived. So, I figured if I emphasized her positive qualities a bit more, then that shouldn't be as much a problem.

In short, Tatl is a rude, bratty and instigative little pixie, but she's not completely heartless.

 

I see. It's good that you emphasized her positive qualities because beforehand I sure didn't think that she had many or any at all for that matter with as rude and obnoxious that she has been acting! I really did wonder if Tatl was heartless, but putting a positive spin in her personality helped me to see otherwise. Looking forward to seeing more of that from her and in turn being less of an annoyance to Sonic as a result. Or at least I hope so.

 

Once again, thank you for the support, Kiah. Trust me, I really had a blast with writing up this chapter; it was just figuring out how to go about writing the previous one that kinda hampered things for me. Once I got that one out of the way, I was on this like ugly on an ape!

 

You are welcome, Komodin. You are always very welcome! Glad to hear that you enjoyed writing that chapter as I sure did enjoy reading it! You had writer's block?! I'm surprised to hear you say that experienced it with the previous chapter, but I'm glad you overcame it and overcame it well, too.

 

Oh, yes, I also got a little addition that I made for Chapter 9 of The Blue Blur of Termina. It's an alteration of Sonic's encounter with the Skull Kid after what transpired in the Northern Park of Clock Town. In retrospect, I didn't really like how I originally written that part of the chapter, as I felt that Sonic was a bit too passive there for my liking, so I changed a couple things so that Sonic at least made an effort to do something against the Skull Kid.

 

The alteration of the encounter was very well done and fitting as Sonic's character really isn't along the line of being passive. He always acts and reacts-even when it isn't in his and others' best interest to do so as we all well know. That Skull Kid is a ruthless character, ain't he? You got that idea of him being so portrayed very well.

 

With all that said, here it is! Read it and, if you want, tell me what you think of it. As always, I'm more than willing to be provided feedback on my works, so please don't be afraid to comment!

 

Oh, you know me and how I'm not afraid to comment! As you have always done, you describe everything so well and I continue to envision everything that you describe in each chapter. As usual, I look forward to the next chapter, which will be Chapter 11. I hope you do well on your exams if you haven't taken them yet (as I am replying to this like 2 weeks late-SORRY!) and if you took them already I hope you did well! smile.png

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  • 6 months later...

Hey, all, how about we bring this back from the crypt, huh?

 

All right, I'm bumping this to let you all know  that I'm currently working on Chapter 11 of The Blue Blur of Termina. Not only that, but -- and this is kinda important -- I'm also working on revising it in general as well as some of the other existing stories of mine.

 

For now, though, I do have a very basic introduction to Chapter 11 of The Blue Blur of Termina available. I know it's not much, but if you want, read it and tell me what you think. Keep it mind, however, that it's subject to change in later revisions.

 

“Hey, mom! We’re back!”

In contrast to how the rest of North Clock Town appeared, and how it itself was just the day before, the air inside the Fairy Fountain felt warm and toasty, yet still somewhat damp from the seeping rainwater. As Tatl turned to close the entrance shut, Sonic noticed that the walls of the long corridor to the main chamber were brightly lit with long lines of braziers, its cracklings filling out the hallways with its sounds.


“Hey, Tatl,” Sonic said, “did we really need to pick up this much food?” He held up a couple bags filled with various snacks.


“Of course, Dek,” Tatl replied, her hand holding bags filled to the brim with breads, meats and cheeses. “I haven’t had a thing to eat all day! Besides, this isn’t just for me -- mom wanted me to run some errands today, anyway.”


Reaching into a bag, Sonic pulled out a small heart-shaped candy. “Even these?”


“Oh, those are for me.” Grabbing the heart out of Sonic’s hand, she held it to her mouth and chomped down hard upon it. She licked her lips and gave a loud sigh. “I love Pieces of Hearts...”


Sonic grimaced. “You said they’re supposed to be like those Heart Containers, right?”


“They’re candies made to look like Heart Containers, duh!” After finishing the Piece of Heart, she licked her gloved fingers clean. “You know, there’s a legend of sorts involving these little delicacies.”


“Really, now?”


“Yeah. Apparently, if two people bite down onto the same Heart Piece, their fates will be tied together, like some sort of ‘soulmates’ thing, or something.” Tatl snorted. “Of course, I think it’s all a load of hogwash. I mean, really, how could some silly candies be such a determinant in one’s life, anyway?”


Sonic muttered, “You’d be surprised...”


As he started the walk down the candlelit corridor to the certain chamber, Sonic still couldn’t help but ponder over what has transpired the previous night. Though he only carried a light bag of food stuffs, a heavy feeling still managed to press down upon his body from every direction. The more that feeling lingered, the more he thought of what could’ve been. If he had not went out to seek Venus’ aid, could those lives lost from his involvement have survived? Would he have been spared his ghastly encounter with the Skull Kid?


As he reached the chamber, a sound immediately rang into focus from the other side of the room. It sounded as if someone had plucked on a string.


“Huh?” Sonic murmured, looking around his immediate area. “What was that?”

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That's an interesting read to be honest, Sonic in the Zeldaverse. The concept itself is interesting and it's nicely written. Keep it up, Komo!

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Sorry I didn't see your topic sooner. The Majora's mask One you got here is really fun! I never thought of Doing something like having sonic in Zelda games before :) I think it is great work, and as I do love good fan fic I hope to be able to read more at some point :)

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Has it been THAT long since I got to read anything from this awesome fanfic?! Last time you updated this thread I wasn't a moderator back then...that's how long it was since the last update although I understand why so much time passed in between your updates as you are busy and all, but I personally did miss this great writing from you! Like before, thought that I would need a refresher considering that it's been like 6 months since the last chapter, but not at all as everything immediately came back to memory ;)

Your well-detailed story made it seem like I went 6 days between reading as opposed to 6 months, as you helped bring everything back to memory with everything well described. Tatl is still a character though, but she is still likable somewhat and realistic, lol. It's a very short sample that you have given us of the chapter so far (nothing wrong with that!) but you make it very pleasant and enjoyable to read. Very well done, full of details, as always, and definitely worth the wait :)

Sorry for the delay in giving my feedback as I've been busier than usual as of late. Anyway, as usual, I'm saying nothing new when I say you are doing an excellent job with your writings, Komodin. I mean really, what did you expect me to say, that it's not good or boring or it sucks?! That would NEVER happen on my end! I'm really enjoying your writings, as usual. Keep up the good work, and looking forward to the rest of the chapter whenever you can get that done!

Huh, I just realized something: your story of Sonic in the Zeldaverse, you was onto the idea of the collaboration way before SEGA was with the Sonic Lost World DLC! :P

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