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Why the animosity towards one another?


tenchibr

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But you younger members have got to understand what we older members learned along time ago, Message. boards. don't. change!

Well, do the math: I've been checking out TSS for years, and I never joined the forum (you could say I felt my drama-dar beeping). I joined a year and a half ago, and I never had a problem until recently; I can easily say this issue started to affect me as late as Summer.

I am not a member of Retro's, Cult's, whatever-else-you-name's forums. Do I want to be? No, I am happy where I am right now. There might always be jerks around, but they can go somewhere else. SSMB is my forum, period. I belong here. And I want it to be as welcoming to others as it was to me.

Edited by tenchibr
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No Goku (feels weird saying that, ho ho), not everyone can be nice 100% of the time, that's obvious. But I think we should still at least strive to prevent ourselves from going overboard so casually.

Reason or no reason, being a dick all the time only makes things worse.

Edited by Dr. Crusher
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Let me just say, though, that "it's part of the job" is a joke of a letout card.

Every staff member here will be able to remember instances where merely being a moderator and objectively doing what they are supposed to do will give them unneeded retaliation or devastation. Members who are used to get their way suddenly act up once moderators refer to the forum rules and ask them to stop. As recent as the past two weeks I have ran into complaints and a lot of frustration merely for giving a verbal note/warning for violation to the simplest of rules. "It's part of the job" is not a joke. Part of the community will hate you for upholding the rules regardless.

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Hmm. I've noticed some angst recently but I mostly just try to ignore it and continue talking about whatever the topic is about or just skim over the topic and leave. One thread in particular got a little heated over some miscommunication a while back, but even then most of the members taking sides in the debate tried to be civil and joking. It ended on a good note I think.

I haven't been here for very long, and when I do post it's usually once or twice in a day, but I try my darndest to be friendly in my posts. As far as people becoming rude on the internet, as opposed to their nice self in real life, I think that is mostly due to the high that is animosity. Unless you reveal your identity, no one knows you. You can be the meanest jerk over the internet while still being rather safe, since no one can harm you across computer screens. Granted, this board seems more like a solid community where most of the members know one another, but I think the whole anonimous aspect can still potentially poison some people's thinking.

Gotta chill.

Edited by Coral
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Sorry Diz. I've ran out of likes. (Super Sonic Deja Vu right there.) I don't judge others on whether they're a mod or not, so I understand how tough it probably is to deal with all of that, and indeed, trying to explain it really is just doing your job when that very phrase may have been abused by others in the past.

Edited by Dr. Crusher
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Well, do the math: I've been checking out TSS for years, and I never joined the forum (you could say I felt my drama-dar beeping). I joined a year and a half ago, and I never had a problem until recently; I can easily say this issue started to affect me as late as Summer.

I am not a member of Retro's, Cult's, whatever-else-you-name's forums. Do I want to be? No, I am happy where I am right now. There might always be jerks around, but they can go somewhere else. SSMB is my forum, period. I belong here. And I want it to be as welcoming to others as it was to me.

Thats great, its okay to think that. but you just gotta expect that jerks are here too and there not going to change or go away because your asking nicely.

No Goku (feels weird saying that, ho ho), not everyone can be nice 100% of the time, that's obvious. But I think we should still at least strive to prevent ourselves from going overboard so casually.

Reason or no reason, being a dick all the time only makes things worse.

Your right in saying being a 100% dick all the time doesn't help things, but it just can't be helped if someone is a dick for a day and takes it out on the board which causes the conflict.

Conflict is just bound to happen here or anywhere. take my advice in saying that things just don't change.

Edited by goku262002
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Yes, I know that. Of course some things never change, and we may never change the friendliness/unfriendliness of this forum. But that doesn't mean we can't try to, nor does it mean we should just let the misery continue.

Edited by Dr. Crusher
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Thats great, its okay to think that. but you just gotta expect that jerks are here too and there not going to change or go away because your asking nicely.

Yes, I expect jerks to be here, but the less the better. As a low-rank member, the only thing I can do is to ask nicely, which I believe to be better than doing nothing at all. The rest is up to staff; like I said, to me, they are the police. I believe I am doing nothing wrong, and therefore, I have no reason to be afraid of them or upset at them; and they can decide what to do with said jerks.

I really have high hopes for the future now, because I know just by reading this topic, a lot of conflicts will be avoided. Expect to see my sig floating around a lot more often in the future.

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There is something I realised though. There can be times where people just tend to join the forums and then post something that clearly has been debated to bits here or create some topic that already exists or stuff like that. Some of these people are trolls, others not so much. I really think that these members should lurk around and learn before just making a topic the moment they join.

This members tend to get some hatred from the older ones and all that, so yeah... just my two cents.

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Yes, I expect jerks to be here, but the less the better. As a low-rank member, the only thing I can do is to ask nicely, which I believe to be better than doing nothing at all. The rest is up to staff; like I said, to me, they are the police. I believe I am doing nothing wrong, and therefore, I have no reason to be afraid of them or upset at them; and they can decide what to do with said jerks.

I really have high hopes for the future now, because I know just by reading this topic, a lot of conflicts will be avoided. Expect to see my sig floating around a lot more often in the future.

Whether things eventually change or not, you should be proud of yourself for being brave enough to bring this up, in a calm and civilised manner no less.

It's something at least. The first stage is admitting there's a problem.

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There is something I realised though. There can be times where people just tend to join the forums and then post something that clearly has been debated to bits here or create some topic that already exists or stuff like that. Some of these people are trolls, others not so much. I really think that these members should lurk around and learn before just making a topic the moment they join.

This members tend to get some hatred from the older ones and all that, so yeah... just my two cents.

Some people do that as a spur of the moment kind of thing. Usually new members that didn't realize there was a rule thread. I think the obvious looking ones can be deemed troll topics, but others are sincerely trying to spark conversation and didn't know any better. I don't think they deserve hate for making one mistake. So their topic gets locked. If they haven't been banned, I think they should be given a chance frankly.

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There is something I realised though. There can be times where people just tend to join the forums and then post something that clearly has been debated to bits here or create some topic that already exists or stuff like that. Some of these people are trolls, others not so much. I really think that these members should lurk around and learn before just making a topic the moment they join.

This members tend to get some hatred from the older ones and all that, so yeah... just my two cents.

Some are trolls indeed, but for the ones who aren't, this is the reason why I do what I mentioned in the original post: I give them the benefit of doubt. You see, the members that are in here need to give every new one a chance to show they are for real. This hatred you mentioned will never go away completely, but the less people that are a part of it, the better. Learn to be patient, people!

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I can see why Retro's system exists now...

Yes, I expect jerks to be here, but the less the better. As a low-rank member, the only thing I can do is to ask nicely, which I believe to be better than doing nothing at all. The rest is up to staff; like I said, to me, they are the police. I believe I am doing nothing wrong, and therefore, I have no reason to be afraid of them or upset at them; and they can decide what to do with said jerks.

But now it just sounds like you want the mods to create a "be nice to eachother or else" rule which goes against what you were saying before. and I'm sure you haven't changed your mind in the last few pages so I'm just guessing its how you worded it.

Yes, I know that. Of course some things never change, and we may never change the friendliness/unfriendliness of this forum. But that doesn't mean we can't try to, nor does it mean we should just let the misery continue.

We can try. I personally doubt it'll last considering the revolving door which is the active member length with more new members coming in knowing nothing of what were talking about and older members dropping out of existence. if you guys haven't noticed the newer members just jump right in without even looking around first so newer members will have to be constantly reminded of this topic and as this topic grows, its going to become more intimidating to read this whole thing.

How the hell do you make people be nice and polite without using something as strong as an enforcement, rule, or strike to back it up?!

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Some are trolls indeed, but for the ones who aren't, this is the reason why I do what I mentioned in the original post: I give them the benefit of doubt. You see, the members that are in here need to give every new one a chance to show they are for real. This hatred you mentioned will never go away completely, but the less people that are a part of it, the better. Learn to be patient, people!

Yeah, but it needs to work from both ways. The oldbies just can't be patient all the time too. I'd imagine they have a limit too. There has to be co-operation from both parties. Not blaming anyone but I really think that if old members took their time to read the forums even a little, it could really help. Old members could also calm down and say things like 'Welcome' and then guide them to the topic that exists that is to discuss the certain issue instead of just saying sarcastic or hurting stuff.

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How the hell do you make people be nice and polite without using something as strong as an enforcement, rule, or strike to back it up?!

With patience?

It may not be easy, but sometimes you just have to take your time.

Edited by Dr. Crusher
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But now it just sounds like you want the mods to create a "be nice to eachother or else" rule which goes against what you were saying before. and I'm sure you haven't changed your mind in the last few pages so I'm just guessing its how you worded it.

It appears that those jerks tend to break some of the rules that are already in place as they show disrespect to others, like the one Diz mentioned where every post made should have at least some kind of contribution, no matter how small, towards the thread. So when I say the staff will take care of them, it's because everything falls into place with the system they have now.

That doesn't change the fact that it's possible to "contribute" to the thread while doing so in an intoxicating manner, which is what I hope we all avoid.

Edit: PS: Yay for 300 posts!

Edited by tenchibr
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With patience?

It may not be easy, but sometimes you just have to take your time.

I think a little bit of both would work wonders. Punishment for the extreme cases of not adhering to rules as well as some leniency when someone makes a mistake now and then. But it is the mods' call, and they seem to have it down pretty okay.

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Some people do that as a spur of the moment kind of thing. Usually new members that didn't realize there was a rule thread. I think the obvious looking ones can be deemed troll topics, but others are sincerely trying to spark conversation and didn't know any better. I don't think they deserve hate for making one mistake. So their topic gets locked. If they haven't been banned, I think they should be given a chance frankly.

Some old members also do make fun of this kinda things at times and it could honestly let people join in and spark hatred. I think getting them banned isn't a bad idea. But after their banned, some one needs to tell them what's wrong and let them have a temporary ban till they learn. Once they do, I guess their ban can be lifted.

I mean, this shouldn't happen for troll accounts that's for sure. Just a thought. Also, I guess a much simpler way is to not allow new members to make topics? Just a thought though.

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These 7 pages can seriously just be summed up with a "let's all drop our petty shit and be cool with each other" followed by everyone's head nods represented in a "like button" fashion.

Would have been better with puppets.

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With patience?

It may not be easy, but sometimes you just have to take your time.

^That^ right there is why I think this will fail. people lack patience these days especially newer members and we older members just lack it because we have been through the same loop 50,000 times and its very hard for us to try to be nice to member #27,182,112 the same way we were nice to members in our younger days. then we get snitty and snarky because we get that "well great its this shit again!"-type of thinking.

Some old members also do make fun of this kinda things at times and it could honestly let people join in and spark hatred. I think getting them banned isn't a bad idea. But after their banned, some one needs to tell them what's wrong and let them have a temporary ban till they learn. Once they do, I guess their ban can be lifted.

I can understand banning for a rule break but what you suggested really sounds too extreme. banning us just because we have alittle bit of a 'tube behind us because we have seen the same crap 100 times?!

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I can understand banning for a rule break but what you suggested really sounds too extreme. banning us just because we have alittle bit of a 'tube behind us because we have seen the same crap 100 times?!

Wait, sorry about that. By 'getting them banned', I meant the new members that just join and make topics. So after they are banned, some one needs to tell them what's wrong and let them have a temporary ban till they learn. Once they do, I guess their ban can be lifted.

Edited by Faseeh
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These 7 pages can seriously just be summed up with a "let's all drop our petty shit and be cool with each other" followed by everyone's head nods represented in a "like button" fashion.

I don't know, I see some disagreements here that I addressed. Granted, it might feel a little more redundant now, but perhaps tomorrow, you might see more issues being brought up, when more people are awake.

Frankly though, I like the positivity of this thread, but you're making me feel like I shouldn't, so I apologize.

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Wait, sorry about that. By 'getting them banned', I meant the new members that just join and make topics. So after they are banned, some one needs to tell them what's wrong and let them have a temporary ban till they learn. Once they do, I guess their ban can be lifted.

Oh well alright then. but a ban altogether is extreme, thats what the strikes are for. a ban here is supposed to be permanent and used when a member screws up soo many times that its required they learn their final lesson by never coming back.

I believe your warning record does tell you what you did wrong but only when you click the "# warning points" under your display. its not that prominent and can be easily ignored. :/

Edited by goku262002
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