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Why the animosity towards one another?


tenchibr

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I just don't want this to result in a tightening of the rules. Forcing us to be nice isn't the way to go about it. It'll just put everyone on the edge even more.

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I just don't want this to result in a tightening of the rules. Forcing us to be nice isn't the way to go about it. It'll just put everyone on the edge even more.

Me neither; this is in the Member Feedback forum because, well, it's my feedback. This is NOT a REQUEST for rule making whatsoever.

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You can't say "Sonic Adventure 2 is the best game ever in my opinion" without people questioning the hell out of you, attacking, or just plainly making fun of you. (of course it's just an example, SA2 is not my favorite game actually.)

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If someone doesn't lose their temper so quickly and knows how to discern a personal, vicious attack from a debate, that person must be actually pretty cool and conversations flow more naturally without any of the parts jumping into defensive behaviour.

Precisely. Prove me wrong if I am wrong, but don't make me feel like shit in the process.

You can't say "Sonic Adventure 2 is the best game ever in my opinion" without people questioning the hell out of you, attacking, or just plainly making fun of you. (of course it's just an example, SA2 is not my favorite game actually.)

That's something I hope will change, but of course, the problem is if you just say it without any valid reasons. But I have seen a certain thread that has that kind of message in mind, and it's well detailed and explained, and THE FIRST REPLY is a slap in the face to the OP.

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Precisely. Prove me wrong if I am wrong, but don't make me feel like shit in the process.

I like to try to present a balanced view so It would be nice if that happened more often anywhere. Look at stuff like politics and religion. Those can get super fun.

At the same time, it can be hard when we have threads like earlier where the poster is almost blatantly taking the piss out of the entire forum.

This is a difficult subject but I'm pretty new considering so maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about XD

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I don't mean to say those who do think this way are bad or wrong, but I'm really not a "Sometimes they can be fun, keeps things from getting boring" person. Because frankly, if it's nothing but depression and snark 90% of the time that serves to make almost everyone miserable, it's just not worth it.

This much. I even find it healthy. If someone doesn't lose their temper so quickly and knows how to discern a personal, vicious attack from a debate, that person must be actually pretty cool and conversations flow more naturally without any of the parts jumping into defensive behaviour.

I like this kind of frank discussion.

But I also see why people would be unwilling to enter in this kind of field. I mean, some peple just want to speak their minds, listen to others, share experiences and that's it. That's a way to live life, I suppose, and a nonchalant and healthy one at that. It doesn't mean the perso doesn't have debating skills or doesn't want to be right. It just means getting into ardent discussions is not for them, or at least not in that moment.

Yes, that's exactly the thing. One of the problems for me is that, because tops are blown so frequently (well, that and me probably being too sensitive for my own good), any debate looks intimidating to me now.

Edited by Dr. Crusher
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I'm gonna take this time to apologize for poor behavior on my part. My only excuses are stupidity and carelessness, and neither of those are very good ones, I might say.

I like to try to present a balanced view so It would be nice if that happened more often anywhere. Look at stuff like politics and religion. Those can get super fun.

Haha, I suppose I am the cause of some of that. To be fair to the members, I sort of deserved to get slapped around for stupid crap like trying to enter an argument with zero knowledge of my opponents' arguments or not using Google or whatever. It's just the part where mentioning that I am a member of a religion gets me roundly mocked in status updates and the like that kind of gets me that "kicked in the stomach" feeling. I do honestly like you guys, so having something so important to me thrown back in my face is a bit disheartening.

This is just my personal testimony, though. Other members might handle things better.

Edited by The Fifth-Rate Flareon
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I'm not saying that this place can't do any better, i'm just saying that those of you who feel this place is unfriendly now weren't here (or for the oldbies, don't remember) how this place was several years ago.

Maybe it's because I've grown rather tough skin, but back around 2005 this place was a pit of fire and brimstone with it's members going at each other's throats on a daily basis and flat out insulting each other by association of being a member of fans one just flat out didn't like. I still remember that goddamned "Sick of Shadow Fans" topic that was locked by Roarey back then before it actually got deleted off the boards pre-wipeout.

Nowadays, I kinda drift between lurker and active member sometimes and it's not because of the attitude. Trust me, I've been around this board for a long time and I can give each and everyone of you the same hell I gave back in 2005, and as such hardly any of you can intimidate me. But I've grown since then. Learned that you can be much nicer in pointing out mistakes without being too harsh about it.

Of course, that's not to say I still don't come off rather strongly. I'm with Diogenes in that I believe every idea deserves a trial by fire. Now, unlike some members I will at the very least try not to be much of a prick about it. And given how easy it is to misread tone, it might sound like I'm coming off like one at times. But i'll still pick your ideas apart when I see weakness in them. And as many of you who've known me for a long time, it really doesn't even matter if you were on my side in a debate: if I believe your idea has a hole in it, expect me to tear it a part.

Of course, there are a few things that set me off. But even then, I've come off more passive-aggressive than outright fiery. One of my general stances is this: as long as you don't come off as a stubborn or close-minded and refuse to see yourself when it's pointed out, we can get along just fine. Just watch for which mines you decide to step over. wink.png

Edited by ChaosSupremeSonic
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Yes, -snip- is one person that took me some getting used to, because he can come off a little strong in his arguments; but I think the key difference is I can tell that he doesn't do it in a condescending way. I haven't felt offended by anything he said, perhaps just a little touche'd, but that's because I am a sore loser.

Edited by Chris
Please no naming. :)
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Man, this thread makes me remember something from over the summer.

I used to get tangled up in all types of drama and stupid crap because of one too many jokes, and soon I was doing it so often I'd bust a gasket over the smallest push. It was tiring for me and it just made everyone not involved have to sit there and stare at what the hell was going on.

The place I'm talking about is SSMB's Skype chat. And a few of you can attest to the stuff I got into.

Most of us are just accumulating more and more tenseness from this place and soon enough it devolves into petty insults, drama, and debates that just go off the deep end. And as a person who joined this place in it's more friendly, light times it was a really noticeable turn just how much drama happened everyday. Whether on the Skype-related things or here on the forum. So in my view I know this place is better than that.

I guess this would be the right time to apologize for the drama black-hole I've been before in the Skype chats even though it's not totally official. Sorry for all the stupid shit I've caused or helped escalate in there.

Other than that, hopefully as a community we can make this place a little more chill again and less uptight.

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Hmm perhaps we need to put some people in the naughty corner?

That... Totally wasn't the reply I was expecting from a mod. It made me laugh though.

(For the record, the mods are awesome and they should remember that the few who dislike them are much louder than the many who do like them; basically what I said in my PM a few weeks ago)

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Hmm perhaps we need to put some people in the naughty corner?

I didn't even know there was one to begin with. No, I would prefer to just have people spread the word. I think this is more of a cultural, chronic problem than something that can be solved with segregation. I personally believe if everyone is smart enough to use a computer, that they also are smart enough to learn empathy.

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Exactly. No offense to the mods, but I don't think playing hard ball is going to solve anything when everyone is on the edge.

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I'm gonna take this time to apologize for poor behavior on my part. My only excuses are stupidity and carelessness, and neither of those are very good ones, I might say.

Haha, I suppose I am the cause of some of that. To be fair to the members, I sort of deserved to get slapped around for stupid crap like trying to enter an argument with zero knowledge of my opponents' arguments or not using Google or whatever. It's just the part where mentioning that I am a member of a religion gets me roundly mocked in status updates and the like that kind of gets me that "kicked in the stomach" feeling. I do honestly like you guys, so having something so important to me thrown back in my face is a bit disheartening.

This is just my personal testimony, though. Other members might handle things better.

Still, at least you bother to vent your anger. I usually just take it like a bitch.

EDIT: Confound those pesky ninjas. *shakes fist*

Edited by Dr. Crusher
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Exactly. No offense to the mods, but I don't think playing hard ball is going to solve anything when everyone is on the edge.

Joking.

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Still, at least you bother to vent your anger. I usually just take it like a bitch.

To be honest, I'd rather just take it. Better the hate-train stop with me than for me to keep it running. :D

Edited by The Fifth-Rate Flareon
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To be honest, I'd rather just take it. Better the hate-train stop with me than for me to keep it running. biggrin.png

I suppose, but I still sometimes feel like I'm trying hard to be less of a pussy but comically fail at it. And with all the verbal jousting left and right with barely any time to breathe... yeah, it's a bit exhausting if you're in my sort of position.

Edited by Dr. Crusher
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I suppose, but I still sometimes feel like I'm trying hard to be less of a pussy but comically fail at it. And with all the verbal jousting left and right with barely any time to breathe... yeah, it's a bit exhausting if you're in my sort of position.

Don't sell yourself so short. You're one of the few members I hold with utmost respect here, and it's in part because you're such a gentleman even in heated debates. You've helped me a lot more than you know, believe me. smile.png

Just keep your head on straight, and know we got your back. You're our Doctor Eggman, how could we not? biggrin.png

Edited by The Fifth-Rate Flareon
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I guess some times it really does get out of control. I guess some people are just too stubborn at times.

I must say I'm partially guilty of what happened in a certain Skype group and I'm sorry to everybody. The person who I got into trouble with and I have cooled down and sorted it out. I guess feeling bad can do nothing. It's really sad how the smallest things can spark a big fire in the world. Anyways, I promise that I will never create such a problem again.

Edited by Faseeh
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To be fair, when I see someone saying how they don't like the way I come across, such as if I'm being too damn heated in a debate, I generally encourage people to be just as fiery as I am right back at me so that they know I don't have anything against them.

However, I don't tolerate personal insults or insults to my intelligence. And likewise, I try not to sink to such levels myself...of course, there have been PLENTY of instances where I forget this. Kinda why I usually say "no offense" when I'm about to say something that might hurt; it's a kind of signal that let's you know while I have absolutely no hard feelings to you, I'm about to say something very blunt and harsh.

Probably doesn't always help...laugh.png

Edited by ChaosSupremeSonic
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If you want to board to stop feeling like it's populated by assholes, stop being an asshole. Simple as that.

Everyone is pointing fingers and calling people out in this thread... imo adding to animosity. It's not hard to just be friendly instead of hyper competitive and abrasive.

You can sit here writing apologies and brainstorming solutions all you like, but the only thing that's going to solve any perceived animosity is banning the fuck out of everyone, or people being nice for once.

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Don't sell yourself so short. You're one of the few members I hold with utmost respect here, and it's in part because you're such a gentleman even in heated debates. You've helped me a lot more than you know, believe me. smile.png

Just keep your head on straight, and know we got your back. You're our Doctor Eggman, how could we not? biggrin.png

Oh... why, thanks very much. Heh.

But anyways, yes. Obviously nothing's perfect, but it would be nice if people could come here without already being cautious 24/7.

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