[FANFICTION, co-written with PLACE] Sonic X Kingdom Hearts, aka Kingdom Hearts 3: Sonic's Adventure aka Sonic Adventure 3: Kingdoms of Hearts

[T-Min]

-or simply KINGDOM ADVENTURE 3, as it will be referred to from here on-

 

*ahem*

 

Ladies and gentlemen.

 

What you are about to witness is by far the greatest thing ever written by mankind. An epic and unending saga written by two gifted authors the likes of which the world has never seen before. Ripping off I mean INSPIRED by the Sonic the Parody duology as well as the bad crossover fanfictions I used to read and write on the 4Kids forums as a youngling, behold: Kingdom Adventure 3. A story of friendship. A story of love. A story of...deep depths of darkness.

 

The premise is simple: Sonic the Hedgehog and the regular cast of Kingdom Hearts team up and go to everything. And by everything, I mean everything. Every media item Place and I are adequately familiar with, so long as there is a story to tell, will be visited or at least referenced in this beautiful story. 'Twill be the most amazing crossover ever written, the perfect parody I mean HOMAGE to the art of taking two or more completely unrelated media products and making them one. Of course, there is much more to it than that, but this beautiful, deep and engaging storyline will develop as it goes along. We can't say quite where this story will go at the moment, because the best part is that Place and I are making this all up as we go along. Of course, neither of us are too terribly good with follow-through, but we'll try not to forget about it and update as much as possible. Which hopefully won't take too long. Hopefully.

 

Oh, what's that? You're unfamiliar with Kingdom Hearts? Or maybe you just plain don't like it? Not to worry, good friend! Place is in the same boat, and will most likely be writing the KH characters as background characters to cheer Sonic on. This is a fanfiction intended for Sonic fans of all demographics after all (okay, that's a lie, but still). Also, both of us are going to be alternating between chapters, which should keep things balanced.

 

But wait! There's more! Kingdom Adventure 3 will be the first fanfiction ever to be "filmed", so to speak, in...

 

M U S I C V I S I O N

 

What is Music Vision, you ask? Why, it's the completely innovative device patented by Place himself in which, at appropriate moments during the unfathomably amazing story, we will link to fitting music, like so. We think it will be the most useful story-telling device ever, and we hope you'll agree. And if you don't, you freaking die.

 

Well, without further ado, this is it. Philosophical, involving, and most of all, 100% pulled out of our anuses, this is the masterful literary endeavor known as...

 

 

KINGDOM ADVENTURE 3

~A Never-ending Work in Progress by T-Man and Place~

 

 

~PROLOGUE: PART 1~

 

This was it. This was the end. All of this bullcrap was finally over. Sonic stared at the open portal in front of him, about to step inside as

played in his head. He slowly approached, savoring the moment. He was going home. Home to Planet Mobius, a world free of carrot-legged furry necrophiliacs, a world free of time-traveling demons, a world free of Archie comics, a world free of-

 

“Butbutbut SANICK!”

 

He felt a hand grab his arm. Oh no. Not you. Not now, he thought to himself.

as he slowly turned his head in the opposite direction to see just who had sought to accost him. Unfortunately, his suspicions had proven correct. It was him.

 

It was Chris.

 

“Um, Chris…what are you doing?” Sonic asked, forcing a smile. He couldn’t be too mean, after all. Upon their first meeting, Chris had saved him from a slow demise at the bottom of a pool. It was the pool that belonged to his family, but Chris had saved his life nonetheless. And yet, the longer he had stayed in this world with this bratty little snot accompanying him on every adventure as if to be some sort of avatar for some sort of imaginary audience that totally didn’t exist, he thought he would be better off had he been allowed to taste the sweet embrace of death. Chris was annoying. Chris was whiny. And most of all, Chris was clingy.

 

“You can’t leave, SAANNNIIICKK.”

“Um, Chris, time is kind of going to freeze if I don’t-“

“NAU.”

 

Not a moment later, Sonic found himself strapped against his will into the basket of Chris’s bicycle and taken away, an abductee of this menacing creature no being – man or cartoon animal – should ever have to suffer.

 

And then the author got lazy.

 

A few hours passed as the authorities tried to catch up to Chris, trying their hardest to incapacitate the troubled youth. But alas, Chris, having been blessed with a technology-minded uncle, had his bike outfitted with rockets in preparation for this occasion. Fortunately, Chris eventually crashed into a tree, resulting in a massive explosion that killed both he and his sentient cargo.

 

“OOF! Noooo…” Sonic moaned as he met his end. Or so he thought.

 

Another figure slowly approached Sonic. No one was able to see this figure clearly, as his face was obscured by a conveniently placed shadow, but everyone could tell without looking that he was the most amazing creature forged by the hands of God. He kneeled down beside the dying hedgehog and stared. He stared as he never stared before. Staring.

 

“It seems our destinies are intertwined after all, young hedgehog,” this mysterious figure of much mystery stated. “Forgive me, as I have a slight fetish for generic and contrived dramatic dialogue,” he said. “But be aware that you have a long journey ahead of you, and you must stay strong so that our Twin Fates of Ultimate Destiny may be met.”

 

…

 

“But I suppose you’re not hearing any of this since you’re kind of, well, dead.”

 

The enigmatic mystery-face of a man placed his hand on Sonic’s head.

 

“Perhaps I, using my amazing powers of healing and magic, should fix that.”

 

A glow surrounded the figure person and Sonic. It was very glowy. Sonic then slowly opened his eyes and very blurrily saw the figure before him.

 

“Stay strong, blue hedgehog. Stay strong…my brother…”

 

“Eh…?”

 

Before he had fully become aware, the figure had run off.

 

“Who was that?” Sonic briefly questioned before getting up and dusting himself off. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxRIxovS7nQ. It was very dead. The poor child, no more than twelve years old, had been lonely all his life, and thought he had finally found a friend when it was all of a sudden taken away from him. Chris would never speak again. He would never laugh, smile…whine…

 

…

 

 

“YES!” Sonic shouted. He jumped around and cheered a bit. “HE’S DEAD. THE VERY BANE OF MY EXISTENCE IS DEAD.” Sonic felt no remorse for his attitude about the kid or even sympathy for a family that would surely spend much time in mourning. Sonic was just very sensitive and in-character like that. After joyously cheering for the better part of half an hour, Sonic ran back to the portal as if nothing happened and jumped inside, ready to join his friends back in the wonderful world of Mobius…

 

~PROLOGUE: PART 2~

 

“Look, Kairi! Another one!”

 

Once again, Sonic slowly opened his eyes and blurrily saw a blurry figure standing over him. As he came to, the figure became more and more clear and slowly revealed itself to be…

 

“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFjotdhdBLM”

 

Sonic scurried back, taken off guard by this turn of events. He had just seen Chris’s lifeless body. What was happening? Had the gods taken issue with his reaction to Chris’s death and then given him an appropriate punishment? Had he died as he crossed the dimensional plane and ended up in the depths of Hell with Chris? Why had this happened? Why did everything have to fall apart so horribly?

 

“Chris? Who’s Chris? I’m Sora!”

 

“And I’m Donald!” screamed a duck in mage’s clothing who randomly popped into Sonic’s field of vision.

 

“Name’s Goofy!” And so a cartoonish dog dressed as a knight had stepped in as well.

 

“I really am in Hell,” Sonic said out loud.

 

“http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=nIj7wIHfwZ0#t=78s” said a young girl named Kairi, who had decided to enter the scene all of a sudden.

 

Everyone laughed. “Oh, you!” they said in unison.

 

Sonic was still scared out of his mind, but as he regained his mental faculties, he slowly realized that the boy he saw before him wasn’t quite Chris. The hair was disturbingly similar, but the outfit was very different. Slowly, but surely, Sonic became ever-so-slightly comfortable with this person. A little. Maybe. He got up and dusted himself off in what would surely become a recurring moment in the story.

 

Sonic: Hehe, sorry about that. You just looked a lot like someone I know.

 

Sora: Oh, don’t sweat it, I get that all the time!

 

(Sonic looks around in a state of bewilderment, taking in the surroundings of this new area he had never been in ever.)

 

Sonic: Um…

 

Tails: ‘EY SONIC

 

Amy: SONIC, YOU’RE HERE *tackles Sonic*

 

Sonic: OOF! Amy! Um, hi! Hehehe! *blushes*

 

(Sonic gets up and dusts himself off.)

 

Knuckles: Hey, Sonic. Long time no see.

 

Sonic: Yeah, Knuckles! Long time no see!

 

Rouge: Hey, Sonic! Long time no see! *turns to Knuckles* Knuckles…*seductively:* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQSEetSh-9o. <3

 

Knuckles: Yeah…hey, Sonic? Can we have a moment?

 

Sonic: Ehm.

 

Sonic looked away from the disgusting tragedy that was about to occur and resumed conversing with Tails, forgetting to question why this story had randomly changed to and from a script fic. Unfortunately, this proved exceedingly difficult to do over the sounds of Knuckles and Rouge doing it. Nonetheless, the author insisted that he have his way, so Sonic simply had to shut up and deal with it.

 

“Chuck’s coordinates were just a bit off, so instead of Mobius, we ended up in this new place called…”

 

Though the fanfiction was being written in prose now, Sonic and Tails could feel it. There was a camera. And it was panning upwards. Zooming out, so that everyone, everywhere, could see the beauty of this new location as Tails uttered its name: “Destiny Islands.”

 

 

“Yeah, that’s what we call this place,” Sora chimed in. “Oh, by the way, I’m Sora. This is Donald, and that’s Go-“

 

“Didn’t you already introduce yourselves?” Sonic said.

 

“Oh yeah. SORRY. Hehe.”

 

“Hey, Sora? Aren’t you forgetting someone?” And so a white-haired young woman – excuse me – man appeared.

 

“Homina homina…” Sonic’s jaw dropped to the ground and he began salivating profusely, stricken by the heaviest of cartoonish representations of arousal. “Pray tell, Chris Sora, who is that fine young lass?” Sonic said in the most in-character of ways.

 

“Oh, that’s Riku. He’s cool.”

 

“HE?!” And so Sonic began having an existential crisis. But he was able to focus long enough to explain the situation to Sora and his numerous friends. One wipe-away screen transition later, he finished: “…and so we ended up here.”

 

Sora picked inside his ear as he contemplated what he was just told. “So you’re not from this world, hah? WEEELLL THEEENNNN…”

 

“Donald.”

 

“Goofy.”

 

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

 

He pressed them both up against his face in the most comical way possible.

 

Then he whispered. It was one word, but it was a word that would inspire much

and a grand journey of epic proportions.

 

That word was…

 

“Adventure.”

 

And so they happily went on, boarding Sora’s magical Gummi Ship that would carry them on to many worlds as they searched and they searched as they climbed up a wall for Sonic’s own world: the Planet Mobius. They started to fly and went in deeper, and soon discovered that the only way to find Sonic’s own world was through trial and error. There were many worlds out there in this vast universe after all, and only one was Sonic’s. Where would their adventure take them?

 

The amazing figure of much mysteriousness stood on the beach, watching the Gummi Ship take off into the sky. He stared at Knuckles and Rouge, who had been left behind since they were too busy [CENSORED], then looked back at the ship. His face was still conveniently obscured by shadow as this happened.

 

He stared at his hand, flexing all five of his magnificent fingers.

 

“Oh, Sonic, if only you knew…”

 

~And so did the prologue end, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6HSjWEfeiI...~

 

omg gaiz what didjoo think be ready 4 moar n' gimme feedback k thx <3

Edited January 22, 2013 by Christopher Zombin

[Chaos Warp]

This is one of the greatest things I've ever seen.

[Lady Soniko]

I need one of Remz conveniently perfect gifs to sum up my reaction to this. 

[Wraith]

THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. I laughed, I cried, I cried harder when I realized that I came up with a fanfic like this ages ago and it was terrible and and...

...AHEM, good job.

[Endy]

This is like, the best thing.

[...]

I lost my shit reading this. My face literally went gray from laughing so hard.

[\Lennox]

THIS NEEDS ITS OWN TUMBLR PAGE I SWEAR TO GOD

 

Calling it if a dramatic reading is eventually done.

[Pixel Brain]

Amazing. Simply amazing. I was laughing out loud throughout the entire thing.

[Spazdaxx]

This pleases me.