Attitudes and Respect

[Chaos Warp]

Why do you spend so much time denouncing the reminders and discussions instead of the behavior that actually causes said reminders and discussions to be necessary? Seriously, this is like the third time this has happened recently, and not once do I remember you saying what should or shouldn't be done about the actual problem. It's either, "It's forum drama so who cares?", "Who cares how much people shit on your opinion?", and now "This topic brings out negative vibes." Every time we try to confront a problem, you take issue with the actual confrontation. It's almost like you're acting guilty, which is weird because you weren't even in the topic in question. I honestly don't get it, especially since the point of these topics is to highlight areas where we can all do better as members. Things don't get better by brushing them aside; people just then learn to deal with a shitty atmosphere, and that's not what we want to see.

Regardless, we're not doing anything to the topic. It will die on its own. In the meantime, you're free to ignore it and stop posting in it.

But I don't have an issue with the confrontation here. I have an issue with the aftermath hanging over our heads for longer then it needs too. 

[Meow]

Honestly I am glad this, and those other topics calling out awful behaviour are around. I am no saint, I've said some dumb shit and have gotten at people when I've had a bad day - we all do it. But I notice more and more around here this 'cliquey' behaviour and eagerness to jump down the throats of anyone who doesn't fit the mold of what they find to be an 'acceptable member' of the forum or if they don't hold the same opinion. It's disgusting and on multiple occasions I question why I still come here because the attitudes of a lot of members here totally suck. But then I remember I just don't have to associate myself with those people and stick it out for the people I do like, the people who I feel do their best to keep this place feeling like a positive place to be. There are a lot of great members I see here who also feel like crap over the things people say on this board too from time to time and it sucks.

I think having this topic open as a reminder not to be a dick is a good thing. I have a feeling in the long run it won't change a lot, because we have a topic like this crop up so routinely now it feels like. But I am glad the channels for discussion are open, I am glad that the attitude towards new members and the bandwagon jumping have been called out, and I am glad that the status updates have been mentioned because a lot of the vile attitudes crop up in there too (only it moves so fast people I guess feel they can get away with it). I've seen a sentiment too that 'this is the internet, man up' appear from time to time and its that kind of mentality that kills a place like this. For as many of us older members are around here there are also a lot of new fans, younger kids who come around to this place who haven't had time to get accustomed to the crappy mentality that anonymity brings to the internet. So why do we have to essentially bully them to toughen them up? Why not let them come here and talk about something they enjoy without worrying about getting shit from others on here. It's gross.

So yeah, I really hope things change. Like I said before we're all not perfect and everyone is prone at being an asshole sometimes, but I'd really like to see everyone just try to keep it in check 'cause this place used to be real cool.

[Solkia]

Then they can keep that to themselves.

 

Just because it's something you don't like, doesn't mean it's okay to go and shit on the fun. It's rude.

[Frogging101]

I know what you're talking about as I saw something like that happen around E3 aftermath point. I also saw a topic that took something ridiculous and way south too seriously, and to be honest, I had no sympathy for him because he knew better than to bring his "views" here like that.

You do realize how this sounds, right?

Edited July 20, 2013 by Frogging101

[Tara]

Because when we're having a good time and some fuckass comes along and goes into "oh so serious mode", it's really fucking annoying and just tears the fun to shreds.

 

I've seen it happen in the status updates so many goddamn times that I want to rip off my own sack sometimes.

Although I have never seen this happen (ever), it falls under what I said about letting people just have their fun.  I don't care for a great deal of the sexual humor that gets passed around here, but since I see that I am in the minority in that regard, I just let it go.  But as I said, there is a point where it goes too far and it does need to be called out.  Granted, you don't have to be an asshole about it, but there's nothing wrong with expressing your views on a matter, even if it was meant to be lighthearted and humorous.

[Solkia]

If it gets to a point where too much is too much, tell a mod. That's what they're there for, which brings me to another thing.

 

If there's a topic you think is made by a troll, Stop fucking replying to it or they'll keep coming back.

 

There's a little thing right by the multiquote button that lets you report these posts. Fucking use it.

 

But I'm just wasting air at this point. No one listens to these topics or announcements. They just hit the "like" button on the OP and go about continuing mocking topics made by new members like always.

Edited July 20, 2013 by Solkia

[Nepenthe]

But I don't have an issue with the confrontation here. I have an issue with the aftermath hanging over our heads for longer then it needs too.

The length of time the topic needs to be here will be determined when people stop posting in it.

[Abominal SnowTaz]

You do realize how this sounds, right?

I admit I could have worded that better.

 

Basically, he took something that's not really allowed here and kinda went too far with it.

[Chaos Warp]

The length of time the topic needs to be here will be determined when people stop posting in it.

Fair enough. I was just stating my opinion on why that wasn't the best option. But hey as much as I'd like to be, I'm not in control. 

[Remy]

But I don't have an issue with the confrontation here. I have an issue with the aftermath hanging over our heads for longer then it needs too. 

If the "aftermath" doesn't hang over your head there's no point making the topic in the first place is there?

 

 

The whole point of something like this is to incite change. It needs to be there, it needs to be a reminder o that hopefully something, somewhere flicks on and people start turning their behaviour around. It's like how I have note on my wall reminding me not to fart in bed. Yes, being reminded is awful and horrible and the worst but treat it as drive to improve, like how I fart in privacy now, rather than a scolding. 

 

Or something. 

[Chaos Warp]

If the "aftermath" doesn't hang over your head there's no point making the topic in the first place is there?

 

 

The whole point of something like this is to incite change. It needs to be there, it needs to be a reminder o that hopefully something, somewhere flicks on and people start turning their behaviour around. It's like how I have note on my wall reminding me not to fart in bed. Yes, being reminded is awful and horrible and the worst but treat it as drive to improve, like how I fart in privacy now, rather than a scolding. 

 

Or something. 

Okay, random off-topic question: Why the hell do you care if you fart in bed or not? No offence. 

[Abominal SnowTaz]

Okay, random off-topic question: Why the hell do you care if you fart in bed or not? No offense. 

Uh...because it's...my...bed?

[Chaos Warp]

Uh...because it's...my...bed?

Okay either I'm missing the joke/point completely or are you saying you live with Remz?

Edited July 20, 2013 by Chaos Warp

[Abominal SnowTaz]

Okay either I'm missing the joke/point completely or are you saying you live with Remz?

You were asking him or everyone?

[Chaos Warp]

You were asking him or everyone?

Him. 

[Abominal SnowTaz]

Him. 

Okay....continue...

[Kuzu]

I don't even try to be funny half of the time, I just say whatever's on my mind. It just so happens that I have a very dry sense of humor.

[Kiah]

I had planned not to sign on here to at least Monday, as I needed a few days away from this place to have a "breather", and my current trip to New Jersey seemed to be the opportune time to do so. But seeing notifications via status updates from my friends about this topic, not to mention that I received a PM from a really good friend of mine here at the SSMB who is at their wits end with this place as well as posts from the "Express Your Emotions" thread and several status updates about how several members have been feeling about this place caused me to negate my break from here for the moment and add my input, if I may.

 

I tell you, I really sound like a broken record, as I have said these things repeatedly around the forum but a lack of respect really has been bothering me for a while, where basically animosity continues to show itself around here with rude and sarcastic remarks, bullying and teasing among other things. It is even worse when a ton of members join in on this, as it is like a bandwagon, sort to speak. I haven't seen the topic in question, but to be honest, I really don't want to see it as I know good and well it will deeply upset me. It has gotten so bad to the point where members want to take time off away from here to get a "breather", then there are those that are so frustrated and they don't even come back.

 

It was said that this was happening due to the lack of Sonic news, which I thought wasn't a legit excuse in the first place. But now we have news of a new Sonic game so why is this animosity continuing? Lack of Sonic news had nothing to do with it, being a non-substantial excuse, seeing that it is still happening at this point. Really, what is the reason for this to continuously keep happening? There is absolutely no legit excuse for this type of behavior, especially seeing the impact that is has on members to where they feel as if they need to take a break, even a permanent one even, from here. As it has been mentioned before, if you don't have anything nice or even decent to say, then you shouldn't say anything at all.

 

In the end it boils down to having a lack of respect for one another in regards to one's thoughts, opinions, and feelings. I've personally gone from being deeply saddened about it, to straight up angry, angry to the point that I've seriously thought about leaving this place. To be honest, if it wasn't for the extremely pleasant conversations that I have been having via PMs with several members along with a handful of delightful members that I have gotten to know and befriend as well as the very kind and genuine words various members have said about me, I'm sure I would of been gone by now as I can't stand to see this happening to anyone around here, especially seeing that these harsh, inconsiderate responses are "rewarded" with a bunch of positive rep. And the putdowns in the status updates are frustrating as well to come across, as I have thought about disabling the status updates as more times than none they aren't worth reading through for a variety of reasons aside from the negativity in some of them.

 

We don't have to necessarily like or agree with something someone says, but we should respect what one has to say without harassing them or making them feel bad or stupid as well as embarrassing them for sharing their thoughts and opinions on this forum, which they should freely be able to do as long as their thoughts and opinions are expressed within the rules here on the forum. If not, that is what the "Report" button is for: for our moderators to take care of it; not to antagonize the member at fault or to make matters worse with instigating or harassing which doesn't help at all but makes matters worse. Now as for the humor, if there is a slight chance that what you will say may offend or upset someone even, then maybe, just maybe you shouldn't post it. Humor can be presented where it is inoffensive, as we have several members here that provide an excellent example of this where they will say a joke that isn't the least bit offensive.

 

I know I wrote a lot here, but I am extremely frustrated on the matter. I really hope that this negative, condensending attitude significanltly tones down around here as I am personally sick of it. I can only imagine how other members as well as our moderators and administrators feel about it. I'll say this again: We need to respect one another, despite differences in our thoughts and opinions, and think about how our words and actions may and will impact others, be it positive or negative, even with jokes, including feeding off of the negative actions of others which definitely makes matters worse.

Edited July 20, 2013 by Sonikku_Kiah

[Indigo Rush]

Okay, random off-topic question: Why the hell do you care if you fart in bed or not? No offence. 

 

On the subject of not everyone having the same kind of humor... 

[Uraraka]

 I wish people could be more polite

 I have talked to many newbies here, and many of them had wanted to leave because people here were being rude or mean to them . Let's be nice guys! More people= more discussion= more diverse answers to questions! It is sad to think that people can be so mean to each other .

   I agree, I think respect is an important thing . I am sorry too if I did anything offensive .

[Abominal SnowTaz]

 I wish people could be more polite

 I have talked to many newbies here, and many of them had wanted to leave because people here were being rude or mean to them . Let's be nice guys! More people= more discussion= more diverse answers to questions! It is sad to think that people can be so mean to each other .

   I agree, I think respect is an important thing . I am sorry too if I did anything offensive .

There was this one new member that I actually knew in real life. It was her first time on a forum so she didn't know how to handle herself unfortunately...

[Chaos Warp]

On the subject of not everyone having the same kind of humor... 

I kinda figured it might have been plausible if he had some sort of partner he slept with who didn't appreciate the farting, but I didn't want to assume that so that's why I asked him the question. But apparently I think too much.

Edited July 20, 2013 by Chaos Warp

[AcidGamer]

I really didn't like what was going on yesterday AT ALL.

As soon as I saw the new topic's name, I knew the responses were going to be really stupid and just full of jokes. I mean, it was actually a good idea for a topic. I mean man. I wondered why no one even made it before. When I saw it was locked, I wondered why. Went to the first response, and I knew a bandwagon was about to form. I mean seriously, the responses weren't even funny to be honest. That behavior was not acceptable at all. Towards a newbie who begins posting, that's just sad. I was really upset. I thought people knew better at this point in time. But, hey.

[tenchibr]

It was said that this was happening due to the lack of Sonic news, which I thought wasn't a legit excuse in the first place. But now we have news of a new Sonic game so why is this animosity continuing? Lack of Sonic news had nothing to do with it, being a non-substantial excuse, seeing that it is still happening at this point. Really, what is the reason for this to continuously keep happening? There is absolutely no legit excuse for this type of behavior, especially seeing the impact that is has on members to where they feel as if they need to take a break, even a permanent one even, from here. As it has been mentioned before, if you don't have anything nice or even decent to say, then you shouldn't say anything at all. 

 

That's true. I remember when people were saying that with the lack of Sonic news, people would get bored and so they would stir up shit while others would start going into threads that they claim have been discussed ad nauseum here.

 

That's relevant because what happened then and now share one thing in common: new members being targeted. Back then, new SSMB members were bringing up arguments that veterans with a lack of patience would demonstrate animosity towards, and now it's all about being funny all the time. I am not saying SSMB is some kind of army camp, but we have to learn to use common sense to say the right things at the right time. When in doubt, it's best not to say anything AT ALL.

 

And ALL of this ties back into the rules that have been established already. The #1 thing I do when I see a new member here that posts their first post with their grammar errors or lack of argument is a polite "Hello and welcome to SSMB" followed by a link to the rules.

 

Now think of what happened and ask yourself one simple question: how many posts had been contributed towards the thread in question? To be honest, even in THIS thread I already see "empty" posts that carry little to no content towards the topic in question. I feel like if hypothetically I was a staff here, I would be The Bitch because I would be nit-picking so much trying to enforce the rules verbatim, so to those who say that the staff is ruling with an iron fist, you have NO F'ING CLUE what you are talking about.

 

Be very, very thankful we have the forgiving and fair staff we do today. I really feel like I have become a bitter person with all this negativity that comes and goes here, and I am really sorry for letting all out like this. What happened today is merely the cherry on top of the same preaching folks like me, Kiah, Vertekins and others have been doing over this past year. I am not saying I see it everyday, and that fact is the reason why I am still here, because when the days aren't bad here, they are some of the best I have ever had.

[Vertekins]

That's relevant because what happened then and now share one thing in common: new members being targeted. Back then, new SSMB members were bringing up arguments that veterans with a lack of patience would demonstrate animosity towards, and now it's all about being funny all the time. I am not saying SSMB is some kind of army camp, but we have to learn to use common sense to say the right things at the right time. When in doubt, it's best not to say anything AT ALL.

 

This.

 

my observation concerning certain members expressing in the status feed their astonishment at the fact that a new member made a great topic. It's as if there's some kind of expectation amongst this clique that newbie members are incapable of rational thought and intelligent discussion from the outset of their membership here.

 

This is highly presumptuous and a pretentious position to regard new members with.

 

Heck! It's not even the newbies that are being regarded with the same sort of categorical thinking. Need I mention Sonic Unleashed fans having their views morphed into mockeries of what they actually are? How about shippers being near-universally regarded as fantards? The SEGA forum and it's members being brought up time and time again contemptuously?

 

The thing is, some members and subjects are clearly considered to be 'acceptable targets' and I for one am sick of it.