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The Lara-Su Chronicles and Ken Penders topic - READ PAGE 164, POST 4096


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2 minutes ago, dwitefry666 said:

We clearly visit differnt parts of the internet :D

actually, on that, I did this:

i_m_not_wearing_underwear_today_by_anoth

Thought I'd post it here, I buggered up the top lip and try as i might just...couldn't...get...it..right. She also came out quite chunky, dunno how that happened....

Yeah, lips tend to be awkward to draw at times. I love how the hair still not pops so much as messes out.

Lee-La the Echidna.

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EDIT: post didn't say what i wanted it to

the whole head is really wonky, it's very hard to get the hair and dreaflocks to interact in a way that makes them both look like they're coming form the same head and the hair isn't a wig, the fringe lays over the goggles in a way that just seems awkward, given how Penders draws them they really should lay under it, and the muzzle is just oddly shaped (the poor lips aren't it's fault thought, that's on me). 

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I've checked through the pages I've translated, and this one is new as I didn't translate it (yet).
Also, he might have changed his plans, as I translated another "page 1" and it's not for "The Storm".
Unless there's a third story :P

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9 hours ago, Tylinos said:

Ken has finally released the first page of TLSC.

And, once again, we're back to using photo backgrounds.  You'd think that seven years of production time thus far would mean he'd be able to devote a bit of effort into the opening page, but I guess not.  It kind of works in the upper right panel (which I guess is why he just directly copy/pasted that frame in the bottom middle panel), but the bottom left one just looks like a sticker was pasted over the photo.  It barely even tries to blend in.

Speaking of the bottom left, we get our first look at Lara-Su's tattoo there.  And suddenly I have to wonder if this is a Sonic spinoff or an MLP spinoff, because even as someone who doesn't watch the show, I know that's exactly where they have their marks.

Also, there's a smudge in the right-hand margins.  May want to clean that up before finalizing it.

Wow this first page is just layered with the message "I can't believe they didn't give me Knuckles"... 

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3 minutes ago, chaosjam said:

Wow this first page is just layered with the message "I can't believe they didn't give me Knuckles"... 

Yeah, I wasn't gonna say anything, but it's even more blunt I thought.

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2 hours ago, DabigRG said:

That moment when you're thinking that the backgrounds look really good, only to realize it's photoshop.
2a90ui.jpg

I also noticed that her color's somehow look a lot better here than in previous renders.

Anyway, congratulations on getting Page 1 out and looking sorta good! How many pages is Shattered Tomorrows supposed to be again?

Really now? What's up with him detailing her hind in a way that's just barely noticeable?

Hey, I don't know how many Sonic characters with pointy chins, Cutie marks, and that much backline showing you've seen in your time.

I can't breathe! I can't breathe!

 

:joy:

To say nothing of the color scheme, which looks much better here than ever before, but still.

Starlight, she ain't.  

 

 

 

Why'd you put 'I can't Breathe?"

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16 minutes ago, ShadowSJG said:

Why'd you put 'I can't Breathe?"

Cause I was laughin really hard, both at the prospect and at the panel itself.

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3 hours ago, Ryannumber1gamer said:

Who is this girl? Why is she on a beach? Who is her father? Why should we care? We don't know how the two were like together, so why should we shed any tears here? We haven't had time to build any type of relationship or establishment with the characters, so why should we give half a shit about what's happening now.  Lara-Su appears out of absolutely nowhere, no build-up, no hype, no nothing, and begins immediately starts exposition about her father's death. Why the fuck should I give a shit? I don't know who the characters are so why would I care about their death? 

Why should I care about Lara-Su? Not like I got a intro to her or her world, she can't be that important if she just randomly appears out of nowhere with no build-up and has nothing important to display about herself or her personality if she has to immediately discuss her father's passing in monologue form on some random beach.

One of the things that Penders has made achingly clear about this entire endeavor is that he wholly intends to use the M25YL stories as a jumping off point for this, claiming up and down that despite the alterations made to TLSC, its all canon to 25YL and that TLSC represents his 'true' vision for the stories he began in Archie. Towards this end he has even made clear his intent to include the final 25YL story, the Die Is Cast, with the ending altered to 'transition' into TLSC. His presumption is that through that story, potential buyers will want the other 25YL stories in other to know what is going on, and so much of the heavy lifting (in his mind) for Lara-Su's character and relationship with her father is done already, while 'returning fans' will presumably already know and won't need to be filled in despite the changes in the setting and continuity. 

It is an exceedingly flawed rationale on a number of levels, but that's Penders for you.

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Just now, horridus said:

One of the things that Penders has made achingly clear about this entire endeavor is that he wholly intends to use the M25YL stories as a jumping off point for this, claiming up and down that despite the alterations made to TLSC, its all canon to 25YL and that TLSC represents his 'true' vision for the stories he began in Archie. Towards this end he has even made clear his intent to include the final 25YL story, the Die Is Cast, with the ending altered to 'transition' into TLSC. His presumption is that through that story, potential buyers will want the other 25YL stories in other to know what is going on, and so much of the heavy lifting (in his mind) for Lara-Su's character and relationship with her father is done already, while 'returning fans' will presumably already know and won't need to be filled in despite the changes in the setting and continuity. 

It is an exceedingly flawed rationale on a number of levels, but that's Penders for you.

I'm well aware that's the case. The problem is 25YL is also over a decade old, backup stories that was only readily readable in one part of the world for a number of years, and not to mention that includes a crap ton of SEGA/Sonic features that confuse things further.

If you want to make a good story, it should be something that's able to stand up on it's own terms. not needing to piggy-back on other unrelated media that you've literally been forced to not include to the point you bastardize the designs even further due to a order. Either put full effort into making this a good story on it's own merit or expect criticism because you fucked everything up by expecting people to read a garbage back-up story arc from over a decade ago. Not  to mention if you really want to go down this route, Lara-Su, even compared to M25YL is displayed as incredibly out of character here. When I think about Lara-Su, I think of the rebellious temper-infused teenager who locked herself in a room to try blackmail her parents to let her become a Guardian, and had to be genuinely convinced why Guardian wasn't a good title. Better yet, the person who (by Ken Penders' awful writing standards at least) had enough of a human personality to do things other than look into the beach blankly when her own father died and spout exposition. 

And yes, keep in mind I'm running this through "Penders standard". M25YL and it's charactization is pretty awful either way, but even that is better than what's presented here.

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Why did he think using stock photographs as backgrounds was okay...?

I mean, kudos for not tracing them, but they just don't look that great with his art style. I think a drawn background would've fit this so much more; he could've used some brilliant blues and oranges for the water and sun reflection... I'm just not a fan of the muted background behind a colorful character.

The bottom left-most panel also bothers me... are we supposed to be viewing her from the side as she walks parallel to the water? Or is she walking away from the water, and then parallel again? Maybe it's just me, but it looks a little off.

I will give him credit for the shading and lighting, though. Not too bad.

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11 hours ago, Tylinos said:

Ken has finally released the first page of TLSC.

And, once again, we're back to using photo backgrounds.  You'd think that seven years of production time thus far would mean he'd be able to devote a bit of effort into the opening page, but I guess not.  It kind of works in the upper right panel (which I guess is why he just directly copy/pasted that frame in the bottom middle panel), but the bottom left one just looks like a sticker was pasted over the photo.  It barely even tries to blend in.

Speaking of the bottom left, we get our first look at Lara-Su's tattoo there.  And suddenly I have to wonder if this is a Sonic spinoff or an MLP spinoff, because even as someone who doesn't watch the show, I know that's exactly where they have their marks.

Also, there's a smudge in the right-hand margins.  May want to clean that up before finalizing it.

Y'know what will sell Lara-Su as a character? Just give her an ass tattoo. 

Also isn't this supposed to be able to be read regardless of if you've read Penders other work? I mean I assume he wants you to read the Storm first but what like the person at the top said if you are only reading this (say you bought it off him at a con) there's no context. Who's Lara-Su? Why do we care her dad is dead? How did he die? We need information.

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Starting a story like this actually isn’t that uncommon.

I’ve seen movies and read books that begin halfway through, or right at the end of the story. The purpose is literally to make the reader want to read on to find out what’s happening and why.

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Just now, Ernest-Panda said:

Starting a story like this actually isn’t that uncommon.

I’ve seen movies and read books that begin halfway through, or right at the end of the story. The purpose is literally to make the reader want to read on to find out what’s happening and why.

Except the following page is supposedly a straight cut to the intro of random space man who's traced from random actors.

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3 minutes ago, Ryannumber1gamer said:

Except the following page is supposedly a straight cut to the intro of random space man who's traced from random actors.

So?

The movie “Saving Private Ryan” opens in the present day with the titular character as an old man, then the movie jumps back to the past where it immediatly focuses on other characters, with Private Ryan himself not even coming into the story until about 5 minutes in.

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25 minutes ago, Ryannumber1gamer said:

Except the following page is supposedly a straight cut to the intro of random space man who's traced from random actors.

IF it's like in the script I've translated months ago, it does follow a certain logic.

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5 hours ago, dwitefry666 said:

We clearly visit differnt parts of the internet :D

actually, on that, I did this:

i_m_not_wearing_underwear_today_by_anoth

Thought I'd post it here, I buggered up the top lip and try as i might just...couldn't...get...it..right. She also came out quite chunky, dunno how that happened....

That body can't possibly be that of a teenager, lol.

I think the only aspect I kind of like about the design is the visor thing she wears, since it sort of reminds me something from Gainax, minus the charming designs of their characters.

Now that I think about it, I don't believe I ever tried to draw Lara-Su, or at least interpret the design in something more on my style, so I decided to make a quick sketch just for fun:

14sz312.jpg

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26 minutes ago, Skull Leader said:

That body can't possibly be that of a teenager, lol.

I think the only aspect I kind of like about the design is the visor thing she wears, since it sort of reminds me something from Gainax, minus the charming designs of their characters.

Now that I think about it, I don't believe I ever tried to draw Lara-Su, or at least interpret the design in something more on my style, so I decided to make a quick sketch just for fun:

14sz312.jpg

That design looks way better, and makes her look good overall! ? 

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1 hour ago, Ernest-Panda said:

Starting a story like this actually isn’t that uncommon.

I’ve seen movies and read books that begin halfway through, or right at the end of the story. The purpose is literally to make the reader want to read on to find out what’s happening and why.

"In media res" I believe is the term you're looking for.

Not sure that's what I get from this, though. Feels like the epilogue is being put first to me.

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39 minutes ago, Skull Leader said:

That body can't possibly be that of a teenager, lol.

I think the only aspect I kind of like about the design is the visor thing she wears, since it sort of reminds me something from Gainax, minus the charming designs of their characters.

Now that I think about it, I don't believe I ever tried to draw Lara-Su, or at least interpret the design in something more on my style, so I decided to make a quick sketch just for fun:

14sz312.jpg

Oh-ho, very nice! I'd say 'congrats, you schooled a pro', but given the tier of designwork Penders has demonstrated, that's not really much of a congratulations. This is really quite awesome though- I especially like the cloak/tabard thing she's got going on here. That's a really nice touch there. 

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This tweet has me wondering..

What does he mean by "I don't see myself doing anything beyond the writing at a certain point.

Does he think this will take off so amazingly well that he will be able to pay other artists to imitate his "style" and illustrate future issues for him? Or that he's just going to re-use panels or art in a way that he doesn't have to draw anything again?

I don't understand how he can continue this vision of his, complete all these books he has planned, without illustrating them.

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1 hour ago, KingScoopaKoopa said:

"In media res" I believe is the term you're looking for.

Not sure that's what I get from this, though. Feels like the epilogue is being put first to me.

Yeah that's what he's talking about and usually there's a flashback explaining how we got here. But we know that isn't what'shappening. We're expectedto know Lara-Su already. This will just go on from Lara on the beach and never delve into the backstory. 

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39 minutes ago, Tenko said:

This tweet has me wondering..

What does he mean by "I don't see myself doing anything beyond the writing at a certain point.

Does he think this will take off so amazingly well that he will be able to pay other artists to imitate his "style" and illustrate future issues for him? Or that he's just going to re-use panels or art in a way that he doesn't have to draw anything again?

I don't understand how he can continue this vision of his, complete all these books he has planned, without illustrating them.

Pretty certain that it means that he presumes the success of this will indeed be great enough that at some point he'll be able to afford to hire artists to draw for him while he just writes. Just another chapter in the saga that is him counting his chickens before they hatch and all. 

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1 hour ago, SBR2 said:

Yeah that's what he's talking about and usually there's a flashback explaining how we got here. But we know that isn't what'shappening. We're expectedto know Lara-Su already. This will just go on from Lara on the beach and never delve into the backstory. 

Considering how much he likes to yammer and use exposition for nearly goddamn everything, I'm willing to bet Ken will dedicate a huge chunk of the story to nothing BUT flashbacks and backstory with only tiny bits of actual plot progression.

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There's an art to beginning a story in media res.  Done well, it's intriguing, but done poorly, it feels as if there's a page or more missing...

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