30 Days of Video Games - BONUS: Why Do You Play Games Pg. 142

[Noir]

Ah fiddlesticks I didn't get around to yesterday's. Being in Europe with a time difference is still screwing with me. Hopefully it's not too late to let it slide, but if not I'm doing it for fun anyway. Day 13 to come later.

Day 12 - Fondest Next Gen Experience

I grew up playing my mom's old Atari, so I kind of want to go with the GameCube, but as amazing as the jump from the Atari's capabilities was for me, I don't think anything blew my mind like the Wii.

 

 

I bought it on release day, standing in line outside of Best Buy early in the morning. I'd never played a Zelda game before, so having seen all the hoopla in Nintendo Power about Twilight Princess, I grabbed that with my Wii and headed home all bright eyed. Even my parents were anxious to get it set up and try it. By now, Wii Sports seems lackluster but at the time it was amazing, being our first experience with motion controls. Popping in Zelda was an incredible experience too; even if TP isn't the height of the series, I'd still call it a fantastic game, and for me first taste of The Legend of Zelda, it captivated me. I'd never played games with such an expansive world and it blew me away, even the wagglan that earns it such ire today. In some sort of primitive way it felt like welding Link's sword myself. It doesn't hold up today, but for 11 year old me it was unbelievable what the Wii could do and I believed wholeheartedly that it would only continue to amaze me (which it did, maybe not with the motion controls, but certainly with its games).

[Sami]

I seriously hope there isn't a bonus badge for those who do not use Sonic in their posts

 

Don't worry about this. I've heard this suggestion a few times, so I want to clarify that it won't happen.

[Badnik Mechanic]

Day 13: Most Disappointing Game

 

 

GTA-SA for some people is the best GTA of all time, though thanks to GTA5 this is now a harder choice… so when GTA 4 was announced and we got told that you play as an immigrant trying to find the American Dream in the modern world… we were all… hey this could be really good…

 

How wrong we were.

 

Aside from the fact that the story is quite terrible and the ‘choice’ you make at the end is going to ruin your post game play regardless as to what you do... here are a few other problems.

 

The previous game had... Aircraft of multiple types and variants.
This one… helicopters… all similar except for the one which shoots people.

 

Previous title… multiple interior locations.
This one… apart from hideouts? Erm… none.

 

Previous titles environment… City, desert, forest, mountain, resort.
This one’s environment… a city, you see one part... you’ve seen it all.

 

It was living in the shadow of the best GTA to date… and it didn’t even try to match it. It wasn’t so much a ‘well it’s set in Liberty City, of course it won’t be like San Andreas.’ It was the fact it didn’t even feel like it was trying to meet or include as much content as that game did.

 

It felt lazy, just drive to the corner of any street and watch everything that happens, or doesn't happen, few people about, no planes/aircraft in the sky... it's just dead.

 

The main gripe for GTA4 is that it’s simply a boring experience void of life. What little side attractions have been put in are old before their first use. You will only ever bother with the fairground once, you will only ever want to bowl once… everything is just dull.

 

Then there are the bugs… traffic suddenly vanishing, crashes and freezes though are the main headaches.

Then there’s the phone…. Oh God! The Phone!

 

Hey Niko… wanna go bowling.
Hey Niko, wanna go drinking?
Hey Niko wanna go see big American boobies!?

 

This feature was built up so much anyone would think it was going to revolutionise gaming… instead it is one of the primary reasons for the games failure. Constantly annoying you and sometimes penalising you if you don’t answer or perform some of the activities.

 

And the radio is crap /I say this about all GTA’s.

 

DIshonorable mentions.

 

And if I get time tonight...

 

"I'll get to you my pretty!"

"And your little sister too!"

[Nix]

Day 13

Most Disappointing Game

 

 

Sonic Unleashed

 

Sonic Unleashed's hype train was massive.  It actually looked like a proper 3D Sonic game; fast action, insane visuals; it had just about everything you could want... except for the Werehog, but we stored those awful thoughts away because holy shit look at the actual Sonic gameplay.  It's clear that this was a game that the developers were passionate about, and everyone was excited...

 

Sonic Unleashed was shit.

 

Not the shit, just plain shit.  Awful.  But how could this be?  It must've been that meddling Werehog that took up like 70% of the game!

 

If you ask me, the Werehog was actually the tolerable part of the game (plus he's fluffy and adorable so shut up).  It was mediocre in every possible way, but it stands up well against the horribly designed day stages.  Sonic's ground movement is a slippery mess, his jump is stiff.  The boost is fun, but the game hates you for using it, with the levels being littered with cheap deathtraps and obstacles.  There were QTE's of the worst kind (better press these buttons quick or instant death!), and most of the levels often feel like thinly disguised QTE's to begin with.  The game cheaply lengthens itself with an asinine fetch quest it conveniently forgot to tell you about at the beginning.

 

Sonic Unleashed built a nice world and has a pretty ok sense of atmosphere that immerses you into the experience well enough... but when it comes to being an actual game, it fails miserably.  It's not even hilariously awful like Sonic 06, it's just terrible.

[Gabz Girl]

Day 13! Most disappointing game! Oooohhhh unlucky number...

Some dishonourable mentions; SLW for looking great but ending up being a major disappointment, Sonic Generations for its lame ass "story" and wasted potential and Bioshock Infinite for being all BOOM BAM PEW PEW unsubtle FPS gameplay.

But here is my most disappointing game, and some of you probably already know which game it is. That's right...

What went wrong with Assassins Creed 3? The trailers made it look so awesome and the gameplay looked great, but besides pretty graphics and awesome naval battles...IT. WAS. A. MESS.

Many problems this game had include

- A boring protagonist who didn't feel like an Assassin nor act like one. Even his own fucking father (who was the best character in the game!) was more like an Assassin than him, and he's a Templar!

- Connor's story was awful and super anti climactic! The final showdown against Vidic and especially the ending are so stupid and feel like everything you did in AC1, 2, Brotherhood and Revelations was for nothing! Don't even get me started on their half assed revelation for Lucy.

- There's a ton of glitches and bugs in this game, especially when it first came out. There was an annoying one in particular where the voices in cutscenes would overlap or end up delayed which took me out of the game completely.

- Connor's story wasn't very good and as mentioned before, it doesn't help that he's a boring and naive individual. It's a shame too that we can't see more of this character in future games because I think he needs a LOT more development. Ezio he ain't!

- Gameplay needed a lot more assassination targets (Five? Really??) and most of the 100% Synch missions were a bitch to play. Don't even get me started on too much focus on hunting like it was Red Dead Redemption or something and that trading bullcrap. The latter especially is too damn complicated to follow and I never did any of it.

After AC3 I kind of gave up on the series, though I have heard AC4 is a huge improvement. I haven't had a chance to play it yet but I'd certainly hope it's better, because I have never been so disappointed in a game that I had very high expectations for. Oh, not to mention I bought the special edition which cost me an extra amount of money so you can understand why I don't like AC3 very much. =/

[The Tenth Doctor]

Day 13: Most Disappointing game.

 

 

This disgusting piece of waste is Resident Evil 5. I was majorly hyped for this game. It looked beautiful. It was to be in line with old Resident Evil games, unlike 4 (which is still good but it felt more like a spin off to me), it had Albert Wesker in it, we had co-op and gosh it looked to have everything. What did we get? A shit story, a bitch of a companion who's A.I would make one of those arm robots in factory's blush, our main antagonist of the whole series turned into a monster then BLOWN UP, annoying lines and overly annoying gameplay. This game deserves to burn in hell for what it could have been and what it's left us with. A franchise as dead as the creatures we kill in it.

[Shane]

My most disappointing game is Donkey Kong 64. Rare promised a continuation of the Country series, but the game just revolved around picking up as much trash as you possibly can in seven different incohesive worlds. It was pretty much a supersized version of Banjo-Kazooie.

 

Remember that post I made about how the Donkey Kong Country games have this great natural world where everything is cohesive and realistic? Donkey Kong 64 doesn't do any of that. The game might as well have taken place in Mario's world. The music is... actually one of my favourite Kirkhope soundtracks, but it still does not fit the established Donkey Kong Country atmosphere whatsoever. The game is not representative of the rest of the series in any way.

 

Last time, I used Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat as my most disappointing game, but at least that game didn't promise to bring back Donkey Kong Country elements. Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts was still a Banjo-Kazooie game at heart, even with the added building mechanics. Donkey Kong 64 had almost nothing to do with Donkey Kong Country outside the titular character. This is the biggest disappointment Rare has ever made, in my opinion. Thank L.O.G. for Retro Studios.

[RustyRick]

Day 13: Most disappointing game you ever played?

Well, I've got a few stinkers I've played here and there in recent times, but I try to be unique and post about a game that may or may not have been mentioned here yet:



Metroid: Other M (Mother, subtle!)

When I first saw this game being announced, I had mixed feelings about this title. It had some promising fanservice to long-time core fans of the Metroid franchise who've been following it for some time, like it showed the character Adam Malkovich who was occasionally mentioned by Samus through Metroid Fusion, and it seemed to have a more story-driven focus. And of course this guy:

But on the other hand of the spectrum, it was being developed by Team Ninja, infamous for Dead or Alive and it's...bounce-a-plenty fanservice, shall we say? Needless to say I was being worried that there would be enough fanservice shots of Samus without her Power Suit on that you could make a drinking game out of it.

But when I actually got the game, I was surprised in a whole different manner.

The story, while at first pretty alright with it's opening, soon degrades into pretty much endless monologue and flashbacks from Samus' point of view, thinking about past experiences, moral decisions, etc. . And while it may have been a good attempt to flesh out her character, the way her voice actress delivers those lines make it sound like she's more or less bored out of her mind or non-different to anything going on. I know this is supposed to be a skilled mercenary who's been through alot of rough stuff in her life, but she comes across as a flat-out robot in this game in terms of expressing emotions.

The gameplay was also a incredible chore and has one of the most annoying gameplay-to-story segration examples in video game history. Unlike other Metroid games, you start out with all of your equipment, and never lose it, but Adam Malkovich, the character who we are supposed to know more about how 'great of a man he was' flat-out orders Samus to not use any of her equipment until he says so. To rub salt even deeper into it, you wil lcome across various doors and places you can access with like super missiles, grappling hook, etc. but the game doesn't allow you to use your stuff right off the bat. This is upgrade padding to the worst limit.


And on top of that, those annoying minor sections where the game stops completely and puts you in first-person mode, requiring you to aim your cursor at something pretty small in order for the story to advance. Problem? The game never hints at you directly that you're supposed to aim at something in order for the plot to progress! I can easily picture the majority of gamers resorting to a guide to solve this part, because I sure as heck almost resorted to one.

And the very cherry on top of it all?

The final boss in terms of story, the big bad of the whole game, requires you to blast away the mechanical bug monsters out of your field of vision, and simply aim at her!

That's it! That's the final boss of the game. This isn't Mother Brain from Super Metroid or the boss fight against Metroid Prime in the first Prime game. Just aim, and you're done!

I could go on for far longer, but I think I made my point with this post.
 

[ElectricAngel]

Day 13 - Most Disappointing Game

 

Oh boy, here we go.

 

*hides behind couch* Please don't shoot me. Allow me to explain.

 

*ahem* SO. I had my 360 for a few years and I had always heard about this series called Halo. A lot of people I know would tell me that the series is magnificent and how it's one of the best shooters. Specifically Reach. And when this game was announced, a lot of people were hyped for it. I noticed a new studio was taking over this game. 'Twas not Bungie this time around. I was intrigued. More hype surrounded this game and everyone was saying how amazing it's going to be. I gave in and bought it around the time it launched. And as soon as I opened the box, I was disappointed.

 

No instruction manual at all. I was a bit surprised, I mean yeah, a lot of games have tutorials so they don't need manuals. And most of the time the manuals cover basic controls. I would have liked to at least see basic controls and at least what the story is about since I was new to the series. This was my first exposure to the Halo series after all. I let that slip by and thought "Surely, there must be an in-game tutorial if they don't have a manual. I'm sure I'll figure it out in due time."

 

So I prepped myself and installed both disks onto the 360's hard drive. As soon as that was done, I launched the game. There was a cutscene and I believe it explained a bit of what's going on, however I was still confused as to what this universe is all about. I started playing once I got control of Master Chief and eh, what's this? No tutorial? No explanation on controls? It was the first time I was genuinely confused with how the mechanics of a game work and how each gun played. At least with games like Ratchet and Clank you get a short video describing the weapon you get. And in Deus Ex: Human Revolution, there's a subtle tutorial that teaches you the moves through a cinematic experience. This game however? Nothing. If you were new to the series, you didn't get squat. No tutorial, no story explanation. Nothing. 

 

And that's not even where the disappointment ends. I played the game and at times the mission was unclear as to what I had to achieve. I specifically recall this one level where you're on these tanks and you're moving through a desert. At one point you have to hop off the tank and invade the alien infested tank and take it down. I think the game was telling you to shoot something but it was unclear, just pointing at the roof. I tried doing everything, and eventually I did something and passed it. I still don't know what I did. Heck, I think it was an accident. Anyways, as I progressed through the game, I noticed a very odd difficulty spike. The enemies were becoming very cheap and you were often bombarded with attacks you couldn't avoid. What's even stranger is that the final boss, although cinematic, is extremely easy compared to the bullshit you had to go through to reach him, and it was anticlimactic. I'm still not sure what the hell happened in the story other than Cortana getting emotional mood swings, causing her to almost die.

 

After I played the main game, I played a bit of multiplayer, and it was fun, but nowhere near TF2 levels of fun. So I stopped shortly afterwards. I talked to some guys I knew that played the game and they told me that Halo 4 is definitely not for beginners or anyone new to the series. But I'm just dumbfounded as to why that is. How can someone make a game and not expect new players to jump into it? To this day you still see Zelda, Sonic, Kirby, hell, any other long running series and every single one of them welcomes new players. They either have a tutorial or a brief history of the game's universe so you can know the characters better. But Halo 4? Nope. It was probably the worst way to get introduced into the Halo universe and I honestly think this game has ruined my view on the series. Because of my experience, I don't get what all the hype is about and therefore am not interested at playing any other game in the series. 

 

Now this would be different if say, the game was seen as a bad game by many people, like for example Sonic '06 or Paper Mario: Sticker Star. Then, I would have probably gone back to a more loved game. But no. People say this is the definitive Halo experience, and honestly, it didn't impress me. If anything it made me just not care about the series even less than I already did. Perhaps my view on this would have changed if it wasn't as hyped as well. I mean, every Halo fan was looking forward to this, and they liked it. Therefore, I had my hopes up. But by golly was I disappointed by what I had just played. In my opinion, Halo 4 does not impress in any way. The graphics are very nice, and the game doesn't control too bad, but everything else just makes it so newbie "unfriendly" if that makes sense. This has to be one of, if not the biggest disappointment I've had when it comes to a gaming experience.

[Speederino]

Day 13: Most Disappointing Game

 

 

I'm going to repeat what Ele/Celestia said and go with the Wii version of Spider-Man 3. For a lot of people I'm sure it seems like a no-brainer that a movie licensed game on the Wii would be terrible, but you have to understand a couple things. I loved the Spider-Man 2 game (as well as it's sorta-successor Ultimate Spider-Man), I had already spent countless hours on it by the time this game was announced. And remember when I was talking about the Wii yesterday and how much hype and potential it had in the beginning? Well this was back in those days. So as far as I was concerned, an official sequel to Spider-Man 2 with motion controlled web swinging sounded god-like. And to be fair, it did get the web swinging right. Everything else was just hilariously bad. Poor production values, tons of glitches, you can break the game if you do too many side-missions before reaching certain spots in the story, and the voice acting...oh god the voice acting. I'd pull up a video if one existed, believe me. Now everything from the main cast is fine enough, but civilians have these really stereotypical accents that sound like they were voiced by interns or random people off the street.

 

It's just the very definition of a bad game, plain and simple.

[Sami]

Day 13: Most disappointing game you ever played?

Well, I've got a few stinkers I've played here and there in recent times, but I try to be unique and post about a game that may or may not have been mentioned here yet:

Metroid: Other M (Mother, subtle!)

 

I'm surprised it took this long to be mentioned, honestly.

[Jin.]

Day 13

 

The Kingdom Hearts series was just completely dissapointing to me. Battles felt stiff, the story was stupidly full of itself and I hated the interface, design style and areas. The fact that it's overhyped makes it even worse to me. I just DO NOT see the appeal in these games.

[LATER BUDDY]

Day 12: Fondest Next-Gen Experience

 

Sonic Unleashed

 

 

Was thinking about this for a bit. Mario 64 was really memorable for me, Twilight Princess was a time I'll never forget, but when it boils down to it, when my main video gaming blue rodent of a mascot that's been my gaming root since I was 4 finally got his "gotta go fast" debut, I was fucking blown away.

 

Sonic Unleashed is still arguably the fastest Sonic game to date, and I still get excited replaying those day time levels that released like what, 7 years ago (I feel old)? The fondest part about this game for me though is largely the pre-hype for the game to be honest. I, and the rest of this board, were SO excited for this game since it looked like no other. It was blazing fast, pretty as fuck, seamless, and a bunch of tiny things to boot. I remember people loving the Disney-esque characters, trying to guess what the countries will be, hunting down any leak we could, and the list goes on.

 

When the game finally came out, I could sadly only get the Wii version at first. I loved it to bits even if it was largely inferior. I liked the game so much that I bought it for 360 just to play at my friend's house since I didn't own a 360 (nor PS3 yet) but he did. I beat the game in a day or two there, pretty sure annoying him to death that I was hogging the system haha. Anyway, a few months later I finally got a PS3 and wound up getting Unleashed yet again. This marks the only game I've bought a copy of for every available console (well there's PS2 but shh).

 

I could go on about the game, like more about how I think the Werehog is one of the least offensive gimmicks in Sonic, how even with the QTEs and not-refined gameplay I think day time Sonic is still a blast, the attention to detail, the only Sonic game to date that I think has this much love behind it, and so forth, but you get the idea. Hoping into the next generation of Sonic was my best next-gen experience.

 

Day 13: Most Disappointing Game

 

Okamiden

 

 

"But Wolfy, you love Okami to bits, how could this be?!"

 

'Cause Okamiden is like a slap across the face when in comparison to the original, >:U.

 

Okamiden isn't /bad/ per say, but it just not live up to the original. It feels like it should've just been a 3DS title since one of the most frustrating parts about it to me are how cut up the worlds are. Okamiden loses the extremely freeing-feeling Okami has of it's vast landscapes you can run for days in before having to load a screen up. Okamiden disappointingly takes those lands (the exact same ones a lot of the time even to add to it), and cuts them up into various loading screens since the DS can't handle it.

 

It's been a long while since I played it since it first came out, but I remember it not being as impressive either. I knew full well jumping into it that it's a DS game and should know what the implies, but I guess on paper about Okami being a good DS game since you can physically draw on the stylus for attacks just didn't not live up in all the other departments that I realized what made Okami so great.

 

There's just a lot of little things that kinda add to the overall disappoint I have for the game, like the tag-team gimmick they have going on through most of the game (drawing lines for people to get shit is annoying), boring dungeon puzzles, completely broken continuity in the plot/characters, and I think I even remember the battling not being as impressive. The only thing I'll give is that Chibitersu is cute as fuck.

[Covskin]

I might be repeating last time here, but I'm in a rush and haven't got time to check properly. My most disappointing game is Spyro: Etner the Dragonfly.

 

I love the original trilogy, the third being my favourite. After getting all the Skill Points, you get a little "EpilogueW of gags, that ends with the cast saying "We'll miss you". In my head, that meant last ever Spyro game, which made me sad.

 

So imagine my surprise when a new Spyro game surfaces, and for the PS2! Imagine what Spyro could do with all the extra power!

 

I didn't realise it was a different developer until after I got the game.

 

The graphics were barely above the PS1 level, levels were huge but empty (and there were only about 9), the timings of the boss battles seemed random, loading times were pretty bad, the game clearly had a bunch of stuff cut out...ugh. Such a let down I haven't bought a new Spyro game since.

 

 

If that is what I said last time, in the interests of saying something new a quick aside for Super Paper Mario. I'd never played a Paper Mario before, and the whole 2D into 3D gimmick sounded pretty cool, and I do prefer my platformers to RPGs anyway. But, its so, so boring. The platforming is nothing special, the 3D gimmick doesn't really do anything interesting, finding the doors to new Worlds was a chore...and this was one of the first two games I got for my Wii. Luckily, the other one was Super Mario Galaxy, which justified the console almost immediately.

[Your Vest Friend]

Most disappointing? For a second I thought this would be hard, but it's just going to be super controversial instead. Time to prepare the shelter...

 

 

Super Mario Galaxy

 

There are actually a few Mario titles that could go here. I could have put Super Mario 64 DS, but then I thought "Eh, that's a port. The controls might be the key factor between this and the legendary original". I could have put Paper Mario: Sticker Star, but then I thought "Actually, even though it was barren compared to past Paper Marios (not played the Thousand Year Door to note), I knew exactly what I was getting into beforehand". And then I thought of this game and I thought "...Yeah, this hits the ball just right".

 

To begin with, Super Mario Galaxy is not a bad game in any technical sense of the word, so it's not that I went into it thinking it was good and it turned out to be bad. My issue was that I went into it knowing the pedestal it was placed upon for its gameplay and storytelling, and simply didn't click with it at all. I am not a fan of the mission style gameplay in general which is also partly why I didn't like SM64DS (oddly enough, I didn't mind it in Sunshine. I think it was because it was more open and imaginative. I am a sucker for exploring when the worlds are intricate enough to warrant it). The gameplay wasn't my thing either, but then that's true for pretty much the entire main Mario line I've tried (bar Sunshine and NSMBW). The music didn't stick with me, and neither did the plot. In the end, I was so disinterested that I just stopped somewhere in the first Galaxy. Not out of frustration or anger, but out of apathy.

[RustyRick]

The music didn't stick with me, and neither did the plot. In the end, I was so disinterested that I just stopped somewhere in the first Galaxy. Not out of frustration or anger, but out of apathy.

You didn't even like listening to Gusty Garden Galaxy from the OST somewhere? 

I can fully understand you stopping out of apathy, but surely there are some tracks from the game you thought were pretty nice?

[Xtremer Sadiqachu]

Most Disappointing Game, Now we're getting into the good stuff.

Btw don't hate me for this



LET ME EXPLAIN LET ME EXPLAIN

When I was about 9, I wanted a Pokemon game on my new Nintendo DS. I was kind of at that phase where "if it has Pokemon on it, it was what I wanted."

So I got excited to play Pokemon, because I was already familiar with it through the GBA games. But this one was different....There are no Pokeballs, there's this weird ropey-capture system. Circle the Pokemon a specified number of times, and you catch it. But you don't battle trainers with them, no no no, you use Pokemon to capture OTHER Pokemon. The Pokemon itself is essentially useless because all that's used in battle is the Pokemon's type, and that changes the type of cursor you use to circle the Pokemon. After you use them, they're free, except for your starter which sticks with you throughout your adventure. 

It disappointed me as a kid simply because it wasn't like the Pokemon game I originally wanted, and looking back, that's kind of a petty reason to dislike something. Actually , looking back, it was a really creative game. But that wasn't the case when I was 9.

Fun Fact- I actually completed that game's Pokedex without a link cable. 

[Your Vest Friend]

You didn't even like listening to Gusty Garden Galaxy from the OST somewhere? 

I can fully understand you stopping out of apathy, but surely there are some tracks from the game you thought were pretty nice?

 

I can't remember a single track from the game to be honest. I just found it unmemorable. 

[Gabz Girl]

I can't remember a single track from the game to be honest. I just found it unmemorable. 

 

.......Wow, I know it's just an opinion but man. O_O

[T-Min]

Day 13 - Most Disappointing Game

 

Mmm, yeah, so. These are going to be pretty…obvious for me, I won’t lie. I’ve probably ranted about both of these enough, but hey, what’s one more time? Perhaps a bit more eloquently than the last! Let’s hope so, anyway.

 

So, first off:

 

 

MAX PAYNE 3

 

Mmmmyep. Let me tell you a story about a young fifteen-year-old boy named T-Min. Young T-Min was a very dumb kid who was a butt to everyone about video games and made unfunny joke statuses every five minutes. No one liked him, because he was a duch.

 

But that’s not the point of the story because the point of the story is that Young T-Min played an awesome little game called Alan Wake.

 

What’s Alan Wake, you may ask? A game that blew Young T-Min’s mind, because it was amazing. It blew T-Min’s mind so much that he did a bit of research on the developers of this game, a small Finnish company that called itself Remedy Entertainment. And there came up the name Max Payne.

 

“Oh golly! Oh gee! Oh my!” said Young T-Min. “I remember Max Payne! My father used to play those games when I was little and impressionable and could not be exposed to such depraved violence! Wow, look at those reviews! People sure did like those games a lot! I wonder how well they hold up now?”

 

     “…now?”

 

         “…now?”

 

             “…now?”

      

                   “…now?”

 

~Two years later…~

 

Here we meet Not Quite As Young T-Min, bored during the beginning weeks of his summer vacation. “I’m bored,” said Not Quite As Young T-Min, probably tossing an inexplicable ball across the room afterwards. Not Quite As Young T-Min thought back to the wonderful time he had had around this time two years before as he tore through the beauty that was Alan Wake. Awash in the nostalgia of days gone by, something completely obvious hit Not Quite As Young T-Min.

 

“Hey! I should play Max Payne!” he shouted aloud, and promptly he hooked up his Xbox 360, dug out the old games that his father still had lying around, and began his journey through the film noir epics that were Max Payne and Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne. Before the month was over, his journey through the two Remedy-developed games had been completed.

 

“Sniff…that was beautiful,” Not Quite As Young T-Min said, wiping away a single tear. What a great experience he had had with these first two lovely games! Perhaps not quite as amazing as Wake, but they were still so delightful and memorable! Why, if only there were another game for T-Min to indulge in!

 

Oh, wait! There was!

 

Yes, T-Min was aware of this third game that rounded off this series. But Not Quite As Young T-Min was quite skeptical of how it might have turned out, and who wouldn’t be, given the situation? Unlike the first two lovely little installments, Max Payne 3 was not developed by the glorious Remedy Entertainment, nor was the script penned by the ever-talented Sam Lake. Rather, this third game had been developed by Rockstar Games, with a script penned by Dan Houser, a man whose work T-Min was unfamiliar with. T-Min’s skepticism rose further as research led him to learn of many stylistic differences from the two games he had loved so much, as well as a polarized response from his fellow fans. But my, those reviews sure were swell! Surely, they must have handled this with some dignity, else the response would not have been so grand!

 

“I’ll try to go into this with an open mind,” thought Not Quite As Young T-Min, “and judge the final product for myself!”

 

So T-Min popped the game disc into his Xbox 360 and his adventure through the third noir epic began…

 

 

(I've been waiting so long to use this)

 

So, how do we begin? Where do I…start to analyze my problems with this…Max Payne 3, if you will? Well…let’s start with this guy here.

 

 

Who’s this? Why, that would be Max Payne, the title character of the Max Payne series of video games! And who is he? Well, he’s a badass hard-boiled cop straight out of noir fiction with a tragic story to tell, poetic monologues to delight us, and a surprising amount of depth to share. All in all? A pretty fantastic character! T-Min enjoyed him a lot!

 

So let’s take this guy…

 

 

And turn him into the most generic, whiny, unlikable, unoriginal, emotionally distant, lifeless Hollywood cliché. Oh, let’s say he looks about like this:

 

 

yep

 

that's a character, all right

 

Yes, throughout the fifteen or so hours that comprise Max Payne 3’s exceedingly dull and frustrating campaign, the formerly competent, endearing and complex Max Payne serenades us incessantly with stories of how washed up and depressed and “too old for this” he is as he completely forsakes every ounce of character development he had gone through nine years earlier.

 

Yes, see, this is why I don’t stick up for Other M anymore.

 

And then there’s the other endearing character quirk ol’ Maxie has picked up since we last saw him: he loves to drink! Oh, he just loves more than anything to drown his sorrows in lakes and oceans of pure, undiluted alcohol! Why, not even a moment into the game, and the gloriously subtle script gives us a glimpse into the tortured life of our oh so lovable protagonist as he downs glass after glass of glass of whisky while the whole screen flashes and shakes and shudders around like I, the maligned player of this miserable experience, am getting inebriated as well!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inRniIN_dio

 

Or maybe that’s just me going partially blind from how obnoxious and painful the constant effect is on my eyes! But fear not, for the effect never goes away!

 

 

So what else does this masterpiece of interactive fiction offer to us, HMMMM????

 

NOTHING!

 

The storyline is perhaps one of the most boring and, once again, generic that I have experienced in a video game. Even aside from using a setting that somehow I feel I saw far too much of last generation – or perhaps it just doesn’t do enough to make it stand out – the plot is just...a plot. There’s no investment, there’s no real emotion, there’s no real life or soul to it, I just feel like I’m being strung about from generic Hollywood setpiece to generic Hollywood setpiece hoping something is finally going to capture my attention. Any other characters we meet across the length of this bullet time shootfest are more often than not every bit as annoying as the guy we’re stuck playing as. The one character I felt anything for was killed within five minutes of screentime, and the villain is, once again, very generic. When the plot finally does get somewhat interesting towards the very end, it’s already too little too late. I’m tired of this nonsense and just want it to end. By the time I finally finished this game, I still didn’t care about anything I had just experienced – I was really only glad for it to be over.

 

“Okay, T-Min, but you’re just talking about the STORY! Is the gameplay good at least?”

 

Well…yeah…?

 

I mean…it’s nice. Gameplay-wise, Max Payne 3 is very…pleasant. I mean, I have some things be pissed off about here, too, don’t get me wrong. It once again forsakes everything the first two games were trying to accomplish with their no-holds-barred relentless shootouts, trading that instead for more cover mechanics like we didn’t have enough of those kinds of shooters already. But I mean…it works well. The bullet time is still satisfying to use and one thing that admittedly was improved is that you’re actually punished misusing it more than you were before. It’s fun, definitely, at times even pretty dang good. I could get over the whole “cover shooter” thing if the rest of the game maintained what made the Max Payne games so memorable. But it didn’t. The way I see it is that while not always essential, a game’s story is often a part of the whole experience. Even if I’m having fun playing the game, if I don’t care about what I’m doing from any genuine perspective, or, worse yet, if I don’t like the characters I’m spending time with, that can drag the experience down a whole lot, especially if it’s something I was already invested in. A bad story really isn’t always just unsatisfying – it can be a big drain on the entire game.

 

Maybe if it was all still basically good, but just…different, I wouldn’t dislike this game so much. But I honestly didn’t think it was that good, which made the fact that it was also different sting a whole lot more. Max Payne 3 isn’t a bad game necessarily. It’s decent, but it’s not a good follow-up to a series I loved so much, and that’s why it’s one of my most personally disappointing games.

 

As for the others? Let’s see now…oh YEAH!

 

 

FINAL FANTASY XIII-2

 

It’s so weird. Every time Final Fantasy XIII is brought up, or every time I feel the need to write about it for the…blue-millionth time, I feel emotions raise in me that I didn’t know a video game could cause. It’s not even anger or hatred, more like it’s just…I’m tired. I’m tired of this being relevant, and I don’t like talking about it anymore. I cringe sometimes looking at my old status updates, seeing just how much the words “Final Fantasy XIII” came up as I relentlessly defended that most halliest of hallways. Even now, I can’t say I hate that game – it tried, I think it’s fair to say? I don’t want to do a complete 180 and act like I suddenly hate a game I once genuinely loved, but there’s a part of me wonders that if, much like was the case with Metroid: Other M, one day I will go back to it and realize that…maybe it was kind of a bad game. There’s a point where my incessant defense of the original XIII became nothing more than obnoxious fifteen-year-old contrarianism. Maybe XIII-2 was just karma taking its course.

 

There was nothing to gain from this travesty; all there was in the world to lose. This was my thanks for pretending that Final Fantasy XIII was a good game: a hollow, shallow piece of abominable garbage that almost went out of its way to be as vapid and detestable as it can be. It’s one of the worst RPG’s ever made, a nonsensical exercise in patience for XIII’s detractors and apologists alike. Let’s just be glad this insipid series is finally over, and look towards a brighter future with the glorious XV.

 

THIS JUST IN: Motomu Toriyama announces Final Fantasy XIII-4: Sarah and Noel Return; Lightning Saga continues

 

goodbye cruel world

 

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

 

Paper Mario: Sticker Star – This one honestly just soured as it went on. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it at all; there were a lot of things here and there I appreciated about it, and a handful of great ideas, but the execution of some of them was shockingly sloppy for a first party Nintendo game. Not to mention the lack of a well-thought-out storyline is unforgivable. Much like FF13, I was all ready to say “screw the haters” and love this game, but by the time I reached the abominable final boss, I couldn’t even pretend to love it. I wouldn’t call it bad, but it’s depressingly average.

 

New Super Mario Bros. 2 – Maybe it’s a stretch to say it was a “disappointment”, since I honestly wasn’t expecting that much from the moment I picked it up, but this game is basically the grand summation of everything wrong with the New Super Mario Bros. series. It’s a dull and utterly uninspired generic piece of “meh”.

 

The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass – Even when I was a kid, it shocked me how watered down this game felt. Most 2-D Zeldas on handhelds are pretty strong, but this just felt…kinda simplified. Aside from that, it has probably some of the most obnoxious backtracking the series has ever seen, and overall, it’s definitely one of the weakest Zelda games. Spirit Tracks may still have had some flaws, but it was a big improvement.

 

Sonic 06 – Yeah.

[Spin Attaxx]

Gather 'round, ladies and gents, as I tell you that if Super Mario Galaxy and Spider Man 2 were my Super Mario 64, then Metroid: Other M was my Sonic '06.

 

I had played the Metroid Prime Trilogy collection (yep, I have that) before Other M was released, and I had played the first Metroid and Super Metroid. So I was a pretty big fan of the series, you might say. I figured, "Well it's a Metroid game in 2010, surely it'll be great!", and got the game, popped it into my Wii... and then played the game.

 

While I didn't think much of the story at first, the gameplay really jabbed me.

 

I found moving with the D-Pad in a 3D environment to be (albeit not totally) very stiff. The lack of health and ammo drops was jarring and really could've been more useful than that stupid concentration bullshit which only turns you into a rock with "Hit Me" painted on it. The exploration that was so central to the series was absent, with you being railroaded so many times. Backtracking was nigh impossible because once you got the item needed to get to that Energy Tank over there, you'd go back and WELL HOWDY DOO THERE SAMUS I'M A LOCKED DOOR YOU'D BETTER FINISH 1/16TH OF THE PLOT BEFORE I GO AWAY ONLY TO BE REPLACED BY MY COUSIN SOMEWHERE ELSE. The music? Other M had music, you say?! I can't remember any of it other than Ridley's theme.

 

Oh, and the search segments. FUCK. THOSE.

 

"Hmm, what can we make the player search for? I know! A PIXEL OF GREEN BLOOD ON GREEN GRASS! AAAANNNDDD A TINY GIRL IN A TINY WINDOW! I'M A GENIUS!"

                                                                    - The idiot who tried to mimic Where's Wally in Metroid

 

Need I mention the Pyrosphere fiasco? Or the anticlimactic "Final Boss"? I think my case has been made, and I won't be surprised if this was the death sentence for the Metroid franchise.

 

Dishonourable Mention: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for PS2. What do you get if you make a game starring Action Masters Transformers that don't transform? A mediocre beat-em-up that's the first game I can remember truly HATING.

[#AR]

Day 13: YAAAAAY THIS GAME-oh...it's...not that good...

 

Today's 30 Days of Gaming post is brought to you by the letter "B" (for barebones, because that's a pretty big recurring factor for today). In this episode, we have a special triple feature countdown of disappointing fighting games since Ren is a big fighting game nut that sucks at a lot of them.

 

Starting off this show, we have:

 

REN'S MOST DISAPPOINTING GAME #3: MARVEL VS. CAPCOM 3: FATE OF TWO WORLDS

 

Having spent a couple hundred dollars in arcades playing MvC2, I bet you could imagine my reaction when this game was finally announced. I faithfully followed the news, keeping track of every announcement and character reveal up until launch. I was so excited that I got the game Day...well...2, since my dad didn't feel like going anywhere the day the game was launched. Well anyways, I got the game and was pretty happy with it...for about a few months. After awhile, I realized how...empty the game felt. Like...I don't know what it was exactly, but it just felt like a...kind of half of a game. Like there was supposed to be more. Yeah, I had a feeling of "that's it?!" for awhile...and it turns out, my suspicions were correct. Not even a half a year later, "OH HEY LOOK AT DIS IT'S $40 ULTIMATE MARVEL VS CAPCOM 3 WHICH IS DA BEST VERSION AND THERE'S NO DOWNLOADABLE UPGRADE LIKE FROM SUPER STREET FIGHTER 4 TO ARCADE EDITION". So, considering I spent 60 bucks on this damn game because I suckered in and got it at launch, that makes vanilla Marvel 3 even more disappointing.

 

REN'S MOST DISAPPOINTING GAME #2: SOULCALIBUR V

 

"OH SNAP, NEW SOUL CALIBUR! I hope it's better than 4. SC4 was a'ight. No Star Wars characters and playable Ezio? That's a nice start-Oh...they took out two of my mains (Talim & Seung Mi-Na)...well at least Zasalamel is-oh...he's not in there either...okay...I guess I can learn someone else..."

"Oh wow Kilik's still in there that's coo-oh...he became a random-moveset character...well who has his moveset now-oh...Xiba...he's...uninteresting."

"I wonder how the story mode is-oh...Patroklos is a total asswipe...that's not fun."

These were a couple of the things I said to myself before and after release. I really like Soulcalibur, but 5 was just...eeeeegh. As mentioned above, they took out a lot of the series mainstays (especially the two mains I pointed out. why the hell) and replaced them with mostly uninteresting characters. Well, Z.W.E.I. and Viola are interesting at least. Natsu...is Taki...but a little more fun to play...As for Patroklos and Pyrrha...Well I kinda like Pyrrha at least...The story...I didn't really give a damn about the story, mainly because of Patroklos being completely unlikable and one of the worst characters (if not THE absolute worst character) in the Soul series. Also, a lot of the newer characters just...appear. They're just there and don't get any spotlight...

As for the modes...well...you got your arcade mode...which seems stripped down heavily considering how robust the mode used to be, your versus modes, a lacking tutorial mode...uhh...a somewhat lacking online mode...uhh...yeah.

Well...good job Namco, you managed to make a duller game than SC4...then again, SC4 was still good in its own right. Wasn't a big fan of the shift to the more washed-out colors and darker look, but SC5 both looks AND plays the part of a dull fighter...hell, even the ANNOUNCER (who had a commanding voice for the past couple games) sounded dull.

 

REN'S MOST DISAPPOINTING GAME #1: THE KING OF FIGHTERS XII

 

As I said in the most frustrating moments day, I'm a big KOF fan. I love KOF. Cheap bosses or not, I always enjoy playing it. So of course, when I found out that there was a new one for PS3/360 finally coming out, I sorta flipped. Then I saw the new sprites and flipped some more. I was extremely hyped for it and had to play it as fast as I could...and then I actually played it. All the sensation I had pre-release was gone. I mean, the game still looked nice and the mechanics were still pretty solid, I'll give it that much...but that's about it. The game didn't offer much. It was a little too barebones. Not that many modes to choose from (arcade, versus, practice), bland presentation outside of the full gameplay, the roster was damn near halved from the previous entry, and the netcode...oh jesus the netcode. I'm not much of an online player, but I get decent connection when I play online...holy balls, the lag was so baaaad...

The game wasn't inherently bad per se, but when stacked up to the other fighting games of 2009 (Street Fighter IV and BlazBlue), or hell, even KOF XI, it's definitely a big disappointment, both as a KOF game and a fighting game in general.

Well... at least KOF13 was ballin'. 

 

That's all, folks. Thank you for your time.

[Solkia]

Most Disappointing Game? What a coincidence, I'm currently playing it!

 

 

This game is shit.

 

Bubsy might as well have been in this fucking game, because the thought process behind it seems to be "What's a strategy game without the strategy?"

 

You are never at a disadvantage in this game. You always have healing items to spam, units dying is meaningless since they come back anyways, you always overpower your enemies, bosses are jokes that do no more than waste your healing items, it's just boring.

 

And you know what? That'd be perfectly fine with me if the story was enjoyable and there were memorable characters. There isn't any in Project X Zone.

 

The story is all the worlds are fucking up and the rest is just meaningless filler dialogue that sometimes is completely out of character. Did you know X asks Haken if he can destroy the Phantom? Mega Man X fucking asked if he could destroy something.

 

Also the game recycles the same bosses and enemies over and over and rarely changes them. I must've fought Lord Raptor in 60% of the fucking chapters.

 

The only 2 good things this game has is bouncing tits and great music. Don't fucking buy this half-assed garbage.

[buba]

Day 13 - Most Disappointing Game

 

This one's easy. I don't think that I've ever played a disappointing game other than the piece of shit that is Sonic And The Secret Rings.

 

 

I'm going to be quick with this mainly because I only played this for like one hour before realizing how crappy it was.

The first and most important thing to mention is the controls. God, who the fuck thought that using the Wiimote's gimmicks was a good idea for the controls of a platforming game? Like, half of the time that shit wouldn't even do what I wanted and jumping/turns where a nightmare.

Next is the level design. Bitch all you want about Unleashed, but this game was a fucking hallway. You just run in a straight line while avoiding stuff once in a while.

And finally, the story. Just like, why? Where they high or something?

I didn't play much of this and I sure as hell won't in the future. If I remember correctly, I got to the first boss which was some purple scorpion thing.

I never dropped a game so fast like I did for this one. What a waste of money.

[JezMM]

Or the anticlimactic "Final Boss"?

 

For what it's worth, I too thought this (I couldn't even work out what I was supposed to do so having to look up a guide added to the anticlimax) - but there's a whole other chunk after the credits which does have a traditional final boss.