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Awoo.

...in which we nitpick and overanalyze every aspect of Sonic's universe.


Big Panda
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To start things off, let's examine Sonic Adventure's most iconic adventure field:

STATION SQUARE

Station Square (the part we actually get to explore outside of the action stages at least) can be accessed by normal city-goers in just two ways: the train station, and a single one-way tunnel beside the hotel that cars are easily able to enter and exit through without blocking eachother on the way.

And what do the cars do when they make it to the area? They drive around the area and leave again. Nobody is seen parking their vehicle and entering a store or anything like that.

The hotel has a tiny-ass lobby with with two upper-landings: one that has nothing but two giant buttons that normal city-goers would have no use for. The other with a door that can only be opened from the outside with one of said buttons on the other landing, but it doesn't matter either way, since all that's on the other side is an empty room with a random podium. Not that any of that matters, since nobody can get up there, what with it having no stairs or any kind of ladder. This hotel is a sodding mess.

On one side of the lobby is the entrance to the swimming pool, and beyond that, Emerald Coast. Too bad you need the agility and acrobatic skills of a certain hedgehog to explore it? Wanna check out thay lighthouse halfway across the coast? Good luck getting there! Even if you were a bloody acrobat, the only way to get their was via a long bridge that was destroyed by a giant orca. Yeah, did I mention the orca? The blood-thirsty orca that can destroy anything in its path?

On the opposite side of the lobby is the entrance to the casino area, that appears to be paved with tarmac and have pavements (that's sidewalks to you 'mericans), despite there being no visible way for any vehicles to get into the area in sight. Except for the ones that magically found a way in just in time for the Egg Walker boss.

As for the actual casino-that can only he opened by a giant red button above the entrance may I add-has your typical casino amusements: slot machines, giant pinball machines where you can be the ball, a giant, easily-enterable safe room with giant machanical hands that pick you up and shake you like whiplash lawsuits are going out of fashion, and shower rooms that have no kind of doors or curtains so that any perv can watch you exfoliate, and there are no toilets in the room. Also, the pinball machines I mentioned earlier? If you don't get enough rings by the end of your game, you get dumped into the sewer!

In order to enter the casino, simply walk through the front door, at which point you'll be magically teleported to the casino itself. And how do you leave? I dunno, there's no door!

Next up we have the train station. No tickets are required to travel via the trainline, or if they are, your guess as to where one can purchase these allusive tickets is as good as mine, since I spy no ticket office anywhere. I'm beginning to see why the staff went on strike halfway through the game, the poor sods don't get paid! I mean, they're a free service after all.

Twinkle Park has a "cute couples get in free" policy. First off, does this allow any two people who may or may not look like a couple to get in? Do couples need to prove their couple status before gaining free admission? And is the policy really as literal as it sounds? Can only couples that are deemed "cute" get in? Do the clerks discriminate against couples they think are "gross" or "ugly"? Wait, actually, what clerks? I don't see any.

Inside the park itself is a death trap. Gigantic pools of water that any guest could fall into and drown, giant spike balls floating about just about anywhere, and a bumper car track IN SPACE. Or a virtual recreation of space at least. But real or not, fall off the track and you're dead.

Next to Twinkle Park is an office building, the top of which apparently takes you to Speed Highway: long loopy roads miles above the city that are completely inpractical. As you progress through the highway, you make it down to another city square, one where cars drive in an endless loop with no visible way out.

In the second half of the main adventure field is an antique shop with a back door that leads to the sewer for...some reason. Opposite that shop is a burger shop, outside the entrance is a statue that nobody ever thought to bolt down, allowing anybody to swipe it.

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I'm kinda confused on the purpose of the topic, I mean the OP is just listing stage design things that don't match up to real world logic but every single Sonic game is full to the brim with that stuff and we all know it's there.  What's to discuss?

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10 minutes ago, JezMM said:

 but every single Sonic game is full to the brim with that stuff and we all know it's there.

Every single game in general has this stuff, Sonic especially. I'm fairly sure Windy Valley is not logically possible and the garbage chute of Casinopolis is an unnecessarily complex death trap - though maybe in a weird way that last one makes sense, it is a Casino after all. Security and all that.

On a point, there's presumably a difference between in-game and in-universe.

In-game, you only explore a small portion of Station Square obviously due to design and limitations, therefore leading to the closed in layout.

In-universe, we know Station Square is a massive city due to the opening cutscene and general information about it.

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Roger_van_der_weide

I think this topic is more intended to be tongue in cheek and just amuse yourselves with analyzing how the Sonic universe works and see the many ways how weird and illogical it is if you think beyond it's gameplay purpose. For comedy sake, not a genuine discussion, or we'll just constantly run into "Technical limitations/ streamlined gameplay" conclusions.

And Station Square being the most "realistic" of the Sonic locations, as in the one that looks the most like we visit locations normal people can visit instead of rollercoasters in the sky is a great place to look for hidden comedy. Bit harder to do with Soleanna or the Unleashed HUBS, who are more straight forward.
Indeed, imaging the "cute couple" process of getting a free ticket into Twinkle Park is amusing, I can imagine a poor clerk having to tell the butch angry couple that they're not cute and getting yelled at.

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7 hours ago, Ernest-Panda said:

<snip>

On the opposite side of the lobby is the entrance to the casino area, that appears to be paved with tarmac and have pavements (that's sidewalks to you 'mericans), despite there being no visible way for any vehicles to get into the area in sight. Except for the ones that magically found a way in just in time for the Egg Walker boss.

As for the actual casino-that can only he opened by a giant red button above the entrance may I add-has your typical casino amusements: slot machines, giant pinball machines where you can be the ball, a giant, easily-enterable safe room with giant machanical hands that pick you up and shake you like whiplash lawsuits are going out of fashion, and shower rooms that have no kind of doors or curtains so that any perv can watch you exfoliate, and there are no toilets in the room. Also, the pinball machines I mentioned earlier? If you don't get enough rings by the end of your game, you get dumped into the sewer!

<snip>

Now that you mentioned the parking cars, I remember playing SA for the first time and not getting some of weird shit going on, either. 

I got stuck in the casino level for HOURS because I couldn't figure out what on earth was I supposed to do. The game gave you ZERO direction, interaction with the characters felt very random and having that light following you around and telling you what to do was...eerie.  I felt like I was playing through some weird dream Sonic was having after passing out from having too much to drink. 

Then some time later, I managed to play that parody, Sonic Dreams Collection and I couldn't help but think the two games were quite similar. 

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Semi-colon e

Half of these things could just be chalked down to "it's a videogame". This though...

 

skyscraper-scamper-15.png

 

That road is just fucked. Cars just pop in out the building as well, it's most bizarre.

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Man, overanalysing the stupid stuff in Sonic games is one of my favourite things to do.

Speaking of Soleanna, though....

Why is the speed limit 60 in Soleanna New City? Even if it's kilometres, that's still 40mph in the middle of a city. If there's a speedlimit, where are the cars? Why are the police guarding a (presumably commercial) warehouse district? Why are all the policemen identical? Are they Genome Soliders a la MGS? What city needs two clock towers in about 200m of each other? If the shop in town only sells upgrades for the characters, does that mean that ordinary people can do the lightspeed dash or slide forever? And does the Festival Of Rings mean that humans can pick up rings? Why are the (still massive) Orca whales and flying dolphins kept in captivity on what looks like an ordinary beach? Why do you need lighthouses there if nothing can get in? 

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Let's talk about the Egg Carrier:

-Where the hell is the entirety of the Sky Deck supposed to be? I see no indication on the outer Egg Carrier model of its existence (most of the stage happens on the outside).

-There is absolutely no way the entire Hot Shelter can fit inside the ship, especially not that one area which is literally a rotating bridge over a massive drop.

-Speaking of Hot Shelter, why is there a bathroom with a bunch of stalls? Eggman's the only individual up there who'd ever have a need for them. Do the robots have to relieve themselves of oil or...something?

-Eggman, why did you put a Chao egg in one of your prison cells?

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21 minutes ago, Ernest-Panda said:

Speaking of Hot Shelter, why is there a bathroom with a bunch of stalls? Eggman's the only individual up there who'd ever have a need for them. Do the robots have to relieve themselves of oil or...something?

It's in case he has guests, obviously. Same reason Hot Shelter has that room full of TV's. That's one hell of a home cinema.

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King Scoopa Koopa
20 hours ago, SSF1991 said:

Can I just picnic instead of nitpick? =3

Is that a pic-a-nic basket full of chili dogs I see, or are you just happy to see me?

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