[Fanfiction] Academy Chronicles: Palutena's Guidance (An Introduction to the SSMB Heroes Academy RP)

[Failinhearts]

The one bad thing about running an over 2 year old roleplay is that the mythos and lore? It can get pretty confusing at times. With all this multiversal travelling, overarching plots, tons of franchises, characters and writing involved, in can be nothing short of terrifying for newcomers of SSMB Heroes Academy.

But never fear, the Goddess of Light, Palutena from Kid Icarus is here to educate you! Introducing a new writing project for newcomers: Palutena's Guidance!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16754875/chapters/39308596

With this series spanning multiple frequent updates, Palutena and Viridi educate the angel Pit, and therefore the reader on each character in SSMB Heroes Academy, preparing you to read the adaptations, or join the PM RP itself here on SSMB with their trademark banter.

Enjoy the prologue, and check the AO3 link for updates, as I try to get them out daily!

Spoiler

"Lady Palutena!"

Running down the halls of a temple, arriving at the personal room of Skyworld's goddess: Palutena, the angel, and loyal servant to the Goddess of Light, Pit stops to face the door. Panting from a long run, Pit composes himself and politely knocks.

After a couple of seconds, the brown haired-angel is face to face with the divine entity.

"Thank goodness..." Pit sighs.

"Oh, Pit. What is it?" She asks.

"I was just... worried. You haven't been active, or answering my telepathy calls, Lady Palutena. I thought you were in danger!" The angel gasped.

"Ah... have you?" Palutena runs her hand through her green hair. "I'm sorry to have you worry, Pit. I've just been a little preoccupied that I must've forgot!" She laughs sheepishly. This confuses Pit. This wasn't like her at all to be so careless. Whatever Palutena is doing, it must be incredibly engaging.

"Might I ask what that is? Y-You don't have to say it of course, I'm just wondering!" Pit requests. Thankfully, his wish is granted as Palutena nods, gesturing him to follow her into her regal quarters.

Coming inside, the first thing that catches Pit's eye is a large floating ball displaying moving images.

"So you've been watching something?" Pit questions.

"Yes, me and Viridi have been watching together. I've been using telepathy to chat over it." The goddess replies.

"What... are you watching?" Asks Pit. It doesn't look like the typical Smash tournament, nor does it seem to be anything from his world. No, this is something entirely different. Although he swore he saw a couple fellow Smash fighters in there as well, only further piquing his interest.

"Pit, you never heard of the Skylanders, have you?" Palutena asks the angel.

"The Skylanders? I mean, I heard talk about them in the Smash Mansion from time to time, and the humans mention them... but not really." Pit replies. "I mean, I heard they were involved in that whole time Master Hand went evil again and saved us from being trophies forever but not much beyond that."

"Really? Talk about clueeeeeleeeess!" A high-pitched female voice echoes in both Pit's and Palutena's heads.

"Huh? Viridi?" Pit responds, flinching slightly by the sudden interruption. 

"No, it's Hades! Of course it's me, you idiot!" Viridi, the Goddess of Nature shouts back. Pit winces at this response, shaking his head.

“Sorry, I opened up the channel to communicate with her.” Palutena smiles, implying that this was done to tease the angel.

“Real funny, Lady Palutena…” Pit groans with a small smile. “Anyway, so what are the Skylanders?”

“The Skylanders are like, heroes that travel between dimensions and stop bad guys! They’re not bad for a buncha mortals!” Viridi explains.

“Indeed, you can sit down and watch with us, if you’d like, Pit.” Palutena invites, nudging to the floating orb displaying the Skylanders. “You could use a break anyway.”

“Really? Thanks! Although, I wish it wouldn’t be with Viridi too…” Pit accepts with a hint of begrudging dread.

“I heard that!” Viridi barks.

“Excellent! Have a seat, Pit. We have a lot to cover!” Palutena puts her hands together. “You better start taking notes!”

“Why?” Pit asks. Although it hits him the moment he sees a devious gleam in his goddess’ eye.

“We’re going to be here a while. Like, a long while.” Palutena grins.

Pit’s eyes go wide.

“…How complex is all this again?”

 

[Failinhearts]

Update featuring the first 3 guidances! Usernames shown to show who wrote the character in the RP.

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (SENTINEL) @Failinhearts

Spoiler

With the angel seated on a comfy sofa with Palutena, the goddess waves her hand to change the showcased images. It seems to be a random showcase of heroes and villains, and one in particular caught Pit’s eye.

What he sees is a blue circular creature with big white eyes, green pupils, red shoes and 3 spines on his back. To Pit, that screams a certain someone in his mind: A fellow Smasher.

“Lady Palutena, is that Sonic? He looks… smaller than I remember.”

“Sharp eye, Pit. That is him, although, not the Sonic you and I know.” Palutena says. “This is Sentinel Sonic The Hedgehog. He’s essentially the leader of the Skylanders, as well as The Disciples.”

“Disciples? Sentinels?” Pit asks. “Buncha new terms for me today.”

The goddess then begins to explain.

“In this Sonic’s homeworld, his race are the spawn of an evil god that lurks under the Earth known as Dark Gaia. Although, the Sentinels had a will of their own, wishing to do good despite being born from the essence of an aggressive and violent monster.”

This causes Pit’s head to tilt in fascination.

“Really? Is there such thing as a Light Gaia?” He wonders.

“Nobody knows.” Viridi points out. “Where he comes from is another multiverse, that’s too out of range. Even for us.”

“Regardless, Sentinels despite their want to do good can’t really escape their violent nature. It’s all about suppressing their emotions. However, one Sentinel, Mephiles fully embraced his anger and destroyed the entire Sentinel race… except for Sonic and his siblings.” Palutena continues.

“Whoa, this Sonic has siblings? Is it that Manic and Sonia my Sonic sometimes talks about?” Pit asks.

“These are adopted for the most part.” Viridi butts in. “Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, Amy, Silver, Blaze and Cream.”

After a brief pause, the Goddess of Nature continues.

“Althouuugh, rumors are spreading that there’s a ninth sibling. But we can’t say for sure.”

“Where’s the mom and dad?” Pit then asks.

“Dead.” Viridi bluntly states.

“…Oh. Must suck then, not being without a family at a young age.” Pit says.

“Pit, you don’t have a family.” Viridi sighs. “Who are you to say so? Plus, isn’t it superhero tradition at this point that you have to experience tragedy, and dead parents? Kind of a staple.”

“Besides. They’re far from young. They’re actually 150 million years old. Been around since the Jurassic Era.” Palutena tells the two. “They’ve defended Earth since, trying to build a new name for themselves and their race, and not go down the path of Mephiles.”

“They even built a reputation as worldwide superheroes and celebrities over there!” Palutena giggles before stopping. “However, some people, cities and countries still fear of the potential danger they bring.”

“As time passed, though, Sonic was promoted to lead the Disciples, an elite team of heroes from across all of the Fictional Realm to stop Mephiles and his Metarex in a massive war. They travel from multiverse to multiverse, something no other being can do to save the Writers who bring us to life.”

Palutena pauses, awaiting a response from Pit.

“…Are you going to say anything?” Viridi asks Pit. “We kiiinda dropped the bomb that we’re fictional, and stuff. Shouldn’t you be having an existential crisis?”

“We break the fourth wall all the time in our game. This doesn’t come as a surprise. Makes sense to me!” Pit chirps happily, with a bit of snarkiness at proving Viridi wrong.

“Drat. I wanted to see you flip or something!” Viridi grumbles.

“In terms of his involvement with the Skylanders, as I said, he leads them as a sort of a side-job along with some other Disciples.” Palutena concludes. “That’s all you really need to know.”

Pit pouts as a response. “Not really. What’s his powers like? Skills? You can’t leave me hanging with all this backstory!”

“Do you need to? You aren’t exactly fighting him.” Palutena shrugs.

“Of course I need to! What if they come fight in Smash one day! Come on, come on, teach me Lady Palutena!” Pit jumps in his seat.

“Okay, okay! Let’s see…” Palutena hums to herself for a moment. “One thing to note is that he is obviously fast, as a Sonic should be. Although his average speed is slightly slower than your Sonic.”

“So he’s slower… is that like a trade-off thing? Like, speed for strength?” Pit asks the Goddess, who replies instantly.

“Yeah. He has control over the wind, as all Sentinels have some sort of Elemental alignment. Additionally, he’s pretty decent in physical combat. Not to mention his studies to become a Disciple has caused him to be rather intelligent about many characters, worlds and events in Fiction. He’s also a skilled leader and general in the heat of a war.”

Viridi interrupts as the floating orb displays footage of Sonic slashing with an oversized sword. “But the grand daddy of his arsenal lies in his Sentinel Sword!”

“Whoa! How can he carry that thing?!” Pit asks. “Was he taking lessons from Cloud?!”

“The Sentinel Sword has its own personal gravity so it’s easy to hold, but hurts when it lands! Not to mention it can channel a bunch of Elemental attacks, like Fire, Water, Lightning, you name it!” Viridi explains. “Passed down his family for generations as the main weapon for a general!”

“Wow, with all these skills… Sonic’s pretty scary on the field of battle, huh?” Pit comments, watching the footage attentively.

Palutena nods. “He should be. That adorable stature isn’t going to strike fear on its own. But with that sword, his background and the fact that he’s a dangerous Sentinel… there’s a reason villains across the Fictional Realm quake in fear at his name.”

“Wow… that’s really freaking edgy. Are we sure you’re not talking about Shadow?” Viridi asks, bringing an end to the current conversation.

SAYAKA MIKI @Failinhearts

Spoiler

“Lady Palutena, with a lot of the Sonic stuff I’m seeing, there’s this human girl by his side a lot. Who’s she?” Pit asks.

The person he’s referring to is a girl with blue hair, blue eyes, with an elegant outfit resembling some sort of paladin with a cape.

“That’s Sayaka Miki.” Palutena says. “Sonic’s partner and fellow Disciple leader.”

“She used to be his apprentice, but after 6 or so years fighting with him, she’s seen as on par with the spiky guy nowadays.” Viridi points out. “The two are pretty much two birds of a feather.”

“Indeed. Sayaka came from the Law of Cycles in her universe, she was an angel…kind of.” Palutena explains before being interrupted.

Pit smiles. “Oh! An angel like me? Cool!”

“Didn’t you hear her? Kinda. She was actually mortal. She died in multiple timelines before eventually settling on an afterlife.” Viridi says. “I don’t think anyone can keep track as to how many times she died.”

The orb flashed to showcase Sayaka falling on the floor in her past, shards of blue glass littered on the floor as the footage repeats at separate angles.

“She died again, and again, and again, and again… No wonder when she started out, people had doubts that she was gonna be this legendary warrior to save Reality. She’d probably keel over at the drop of a hat!”

Palutena stops the footage. “But she eventually proved those naysayers wrong. Sayaka has proven herself as a powerful general, decent tactician and very skilled at fighting. She’s still learning, however.”

Pit hums, thinking about something. “Lady Palutena, why does Sayaka die a lot, though? Does it have something to do with those shards on the floor?”

Palutena nods in response. “Keen eye, Pit. That is the remains of her Soul Gem. Sayaka unknowingly sold her soul to save someone she loved, becoming a Magical Girl who fights Witches in the process, her soul contained in a magic jewel. Once she discovered this, though, she fell into the depths of despair, her Gem shattering, her dying and what remains turning into a Witch.”

“…Oh. That’s pretty grim.” Pit remarks. “Palutena, if my wings explode or something like that, do I become like her?”

“If only.” Viridi sighs. “But yeah, the forces that create the Fictional Realm from the thoughts of Writers, The Golden Weapons basically plucked her out of the afterlife, sent her to Sonic’s world as a superpowered human with no soul stealing garbage and that’s how she joined the cause.”

“In fact it was Sayaka who came to this multiverse before any Disciple. If it wasn’t for her, the Skylanders would never happen.” Palutena says.

“I see! Go angel girl, go!” Pit cheers.

Viridi groans in response. “Pit, for the last time, she isn’t really an angel!”

“So, what’s her powers?” Pit asks, ignoring Viridi entirely.

Palutena clears her throat to explain.

“Sayaka, like Sonic has super speed, jumping and a skilled swordsman. Her reflexes are second to none. Not to mention, like the Sentinel, she can channel Golden Energy, something only these two people can harness from being chosen by the Golden Weapons themselves to lead the Disciples.”

“Don’t think of Sayaka as some Sonic clone though!” Viridi boldly claims.

Pit raises his finger. “Uh, actually, the term is Echo Fighter…”

“Pit. This isn’t Smash. Let it go.” Palutena tells the angel.

“Anyway…” Viridi sighs. “Sayaka has her own Elemental specialty, Water! She can shoot water harder and faster than a Squirtle high on Rare Candies!”

“Not to mention that she can spawn an infinite number of swords!” Palutena adds. “She can even split them into chained segments, perfect for grabbing and trapping enemies.”

“Wait, infinite swords?! That’s crazy! I wish I could have infinite weapons!” Pit exclaims with a hint of jealousy.

“Oh, it gets even worse. Even if you think you damaged Sayaka, she has healing powers! She can even heal other people at a rapid pace!” Viridi says. “Which only makes me wonder why the Skylanders have a medical bay at that point?”

“Please tell me she doesn’t get even more unstoppable.” Pit tells the two.

Silence.

“Hehheheheh… hahahahaha! Ahahahahaha!”

Erupting in both Pit’s mind and beside him, Palutena and Viridi laugh uncontrollably.

Palutena wipes her eyes, trying to shoo away a tear. “Pit, we didn’t even get to her last resort yet, haha… If she’s really in trouble-“

“BOOM!” Viridi yells. “She can summon her Witch at will! Oktavia Von Seckendorff! This behemoth can crush anything under the weight of its massive sword!”

“Well… I can see why those Golden Weapons chose her to lead the Disciples. This is one crazy angel.” Pit chuckles, sheepishly and intimidated.

“Pit, I swear to myself…!” Viridi growls.

CRASH BANDICOOT @NegaMetallix

Spoiler

Before Pit are images of an orange mammal. All he seems to wear in terms of clothes is pants an shoes. Not to mention his face being utterly bizarre and unhinged. There’s only one thing Pit can say to that…

“…Whoa!”

“Wait, you know Crash Bandicoot’s catchphrase?” Viridi asks.

Pit chuckles. “What am I, chopped liver? I was able to recognize Mega Man when I first saw him, remember? I know my fair share of video game icons.”

“Well, yes. That is Crash Bandicoot. He’s a mutant marsupial created by the evil Dr. Cortex hoping he could create an army, and Crash would be their general.” Palutena explains.

“Of course, that didn’t go well, and the two have been fighting ever since! That’s what you get for messing with the forces of nature!” Viridi boasts.

“Why is it that all we’ve been talking about are generals?” Pit asks. “Just kinda funny.”

“Considering you’re the captain of my guard, I thought you’d like that.” Palutena says.

“All that’s doing is making me feel self-conscious comparing myself to them!” Pit replies.

Palutena nods with a smirk. “Well, looks like you have people to aspire to, then.”

“Lady Palutena…” Pit groans in defeat.

“Anyway,” Palutena continues. “Crash was actually a Skylander before most of the others. He transferred from Spyro’s original division to work in the multiversal unit. His primary ability is his power to spin into his enemies.”

“Oh, like Sonic?” Pit asks, curiously.

Palutena vocalizes a sound of uncertainty. “Ehhhh, if you wanna be technical, Sonic’s Spin Dash is more of a roll. Crash is full on spinning and twirling like a tornado. He also jumps, kicks, throws crates… but mostly just spinning headfirst into danger.”

“So, kinda like Sonic but not really.” Viridi says. “Maybe that’s why they call him Sonic’s As-“

“AAAANNYWAY, that last part about heading into danger seems especially true, Lady Palutena.” Pit points. “Crash really isn’t too smart now, is he?”

“No, he is not. He can’t even talk.” Palutena confirms. “Aside from the occasional Whoa and Uh-Oh, typically.”

“Which is probably for the best. Would you really wanna hear him talk about how he flew in from the ruins, and how his arms are tired? I’d cringe.” Viridi then lets out an audible shudder.

“I’m guessing that talking mask makes up for it, right?” Pit points at a floating tiki mask next to Crash on the image orb.

“Yes, that’s Aku Aku. He’s a friend of Crash and basically keeps him on the right path. He acts as translator for Crash, and also shields him from damage.” Palutena introduces.

“Also for the best. I can’t imagine how fast Crash would die without him.” Viridi tells the two Skyworld residents.

Palutena shakes her head.

“I wouldn’t underestimate him that much, Viridi. Crash is still pretty durable on his own. After all, cartoon physics and being a genetic experiment can help you survive some pretty tough things. Not to mention that Crash is at least intelligent enough to drive a car and race. That definitely amounts to something.”

“Oh, he can drive? That already makes him smarter than Pit!” Viridi laughs.

“I-I could drive if I wanted to!” Pit shouts back.

“Pit, you don’t even know how to read, much less drive a car. You need to consult the manual, after all.” Palutena nudges the angel.

This causes Pit’s wings to droop.

“Ugh… bested by a bandicoot… This is the Dark Souls of Guidances…”

 

[Failinhearts]

Three new Guidances!

PHOENIX WRIGHT @Jovahexeon Joranvexeon

Spoiler

The next person to appear is a good looking man, adorned in a blue suit and with slick, pointy hair. However, this appearance only confuses Pit.

"So, uh... who's the guy in the suit?" The angel asks.

Palutena is quick to respond. "That's Phoenix Wright, Pit."

"Phoenix Wright... that's a crazy cool name!” Pit grins. “What I would give to be called Phoenix!”

And what feels like on cue, Viridi butts in with her own commentary on Pit.

"Yeah, instead... you're named after a body part, armPIT!"

The angel’s wings droop in response. This is definitely not as cool as say, Phoenix. "Don't remind me... Anyway, what's his deal?"

Palutena then clears her throat to continue her explaination. "Pheonix is an Attorney, a great one at that. When he's on the case, he won't stop until he finds the truth and protects his client."

"So... a lawyer? Okay, that's cool... but what business does he have in a group of superheroes? I don't think that snazzy outfit's going to win him any points fighting off bad guys." Pit strokes his chin, unsure as to why this guy joined the Skylanders.

"Don't underestimate him just because of his profession, Pit. Pheonix is a surprisingly powerful fighter. He's gone up against the likes of Ryu, Doctor Doom, Spider-Man, and even one of the most unpredictable mercenaries in existence: Wade Wilson." Palutena points out, describing some of Phoenix’s foes.

"AKA: Deadpool!" Viridi adds, referring to Wade by his more familiar name.

"Whoa, he's actually fought those guys? How? How does he even fight?" Pit asks in bewilderment.

Palutena playfully stands up and points forward with pride and confidence. It’s a trademark stance for the legendary attorney.

"Pheonix's signature moves is that he musters up enough conviction to deliver shouts so powerful, they can hurt you!”

"So... he fights by yelling? That's... kinda terrifying. I don't wanna be on his bad side. Maybe we should hire him as Skyworld's official lawyer?" Pit holds his hands up slightly in a defensive position.

Palutena giggles, sitting back down and dusting off her dress.

"I suppose I can arrange an interview."

"Objection! I'm calling dibs on him first!" Viridi shouts.

Everything from that point on begins to spiral into a debate on who should nab this man for their legal team.

SALLY ACORN @Polkadi~♪

Spoiler

“So, who’s the squirrel in the blue vest?” Pit asks, looking into the viewing orb.

Sure enough, what’s on display is an anthropomorphic rodent.

“She looks like she belongs in the world the Sonic I know comes from.” He adds.

“That’s because she does. That’s Sally Acorn.” Palutena introduces before Viridi adds one more tidbit.

“FYI, Pit, she’s a chipmunk! Get your facts straight, geez.” She scolds.

Pit looks back at Sally, analyzing how she looks. How exactly does one determine a squirrel from a chipmunk? More importantly, how does one determine a squirrel from a chipmunk with more human proportions?

“So… if we go by normal animal rules, would that mean a squirrel in Sonic’s world would be bigger than her?” Pit asks.

“What? No! They’re all around the same size!” Viridi lectures Pit. “You can tell a squirrel and a chipmunk apart by their stripes! Duh!”

Pit, dumbfounded then looks back at Sally. “Riiiight… so, what’s she about, outside of species confusion?”

“Sally is a princess, and the leader of the Freedom Fighters, leading this ragtag group of heroes against the evil Dr. Eggman.” Palutena continues to explain. “However, she isn’t your stereotypical damsel. Sally is the kind who loves to get her hands dirty.”

“And that could lead to desired… or less than desired results!” Viridi points out.

“Indeed. One of her more ambitious plans was to infiltrate the Skylanders’ enemies: L.O.S.E’s base, located on the planet Geonosis at the time.” Palutena tells the two. “Needless to say, it didn’t go so well.”

She then proceeds to shift gears.

“But we all have our bad days, so you can’t be too hard on her.”

“Oh, like how you were under control by the Chaos Kin?” Viridi chuckles.

“Viridi… do I have to show you my Smash training first hand?” Palutena asks in a deceptively cheerful voice.

“No… not at all. Keep your big lasers away from me at all times, thank you very much.” Viridi cowers.

“That’s what I thought.” Palutena nods.

Pit smiles in satisfaction before looking closer at Sally, noticing the blue bands on her arms. “Lady Palutena, what’s that on her wrists?”

Palutena looks at where Pit is pointing and nods. “That would be her Ring Blades, her main form of attack. Sally uses those to conjure weapons without having to lug them around.”

“Oooh, I might have to look into that!” Pit says, excitedly.

“And what’s wrong with the weapons I give you?” Palutena folds her arms.

“O-Oh, nothing, Lady Palutena! They’re perfect! Just… you know. You can never have too big of an arsenal! Eheheh…” Pit says in his defense.

Palutena, showing a spark of jealousy has a gleam in her eyes.

“Piiit… what say we spar for a moment? I do need someone for Smash training after all.”

The angel begins to tremble as Palutena leans too close to him, a mischievous smile plastered all over her face.

“Lady… Palutena? LADY PALUTENA! I’M SORRY!”

JESSICA POWELL @Spin Attaxx

Spoiler

The next Skylander footage to appear before the heavenly trio is for what seems to be an average looking girl. Blue eyes, long raven hair, green hoodie… nothing really told Pit that this is a great hero.

But judging from the last few people he saw, appearances can be deceiving.

“So, who’s this girl, Lady Palutena?” He asks his goddess.

“That’s Jessica Powell, the first Elemental to be a human.” Palutena points out.

“You had me at Elemental. You lost me at human.” Viridi yawns.

Pit tilts his head. “So, what is an Elemental supposed to be?”

“Elementals were a race of aliens from the planet Enchantus. Each one, as their name suggests can channel a specific Element. It was a utopian paradise, you could say.” Palutena explains, a smile on her face before Viridi comes in.

“Untiiiil some jealous narcissist named Charn came around and killed pretty much all of them.” The Goddess of Nature adds.

“…Oh. Another superpowered race gone. Better add that to list next to Sentinels, and Kryptonians.” Pit notes.

“And like those two, there were some survivors.” Palutena nods.

Pit then decides to jump to a conclusion. “And Jessica was one of them?”

“…No.” Palutena corrects.

“And thus, the tried and true tradition has died.” Viridi smirks.

“Instead rather, she was transported to Enchantus one day.” Palutena tells the two. “Once that happened, she was imbued with a Magic Core from a dead Elemental, the only one known to exist presently.”

“So… instead of her becoming a superhero by falling to Earth, she became one from leaving Earth?” Pit asks. “Ahhh, I gotcha. It’s not Superman, it’s Green Lantern!”

“…Sure. But anyway, on that topic of the Magic Core. It’s got some pretty cool properties!” Viridi grins. “On it’s own, it can channel Void magic and suck up bad guys!”

“However, it’s most unique quality is that because it’s a pure magic organ, it can adapt to any other Element, giving Jessica to copy it for a certain amount of time.” Palutena points out. “So if around anyone from a different Element, Jessica can copy it and use it for herself.”

Pit nods in approval. “Neat. With many different Skylanders with a ton of Elements, that means she has a lot of skills she can copy, huh?”

“Precisely.” Palutena says. “She’s definitely been blessed, even though she doesn’t feel like she deserves it.”

“Jess is pretty cold. You can tell by her face. She doesn’t look like the super happy type.” Viridi explains to the two. “Doesn’t mean she hates everybody, nooo, that’s another black haired Skylander.”

“However, she does seem to open up around Sayaka. The two have become pretty close since they met years ago.” Palutena reminds Viridi.

“Yup. I ship it.” Viridi boldly states.

Pit then raises his hand. “Um, Lady Palutena? Who’s the person who had that Magic Core before?”

“Oh, we’ll get to that soon enough.” Palutena tells Pit.

 

[Failinhearts]

Here's a duo of new Guidances!

CELESTIA LUDENBERG @Crow the BOOLET

Spoiler

The next person to appear before Pit, Palutena and Viridi is a girl in a gothic black dress, long twindrills and striking red eyes. It almost scared Pit at how intimidating she can look with those dark aesthetics.

“Um… Do I dare ask who this is?” Pit trembles.

“That’s Taeko Yasuhiro, better known by her alias, Celestia Ludenberg.” Palutena tells Pit nonchalantly. “Her skill is that she’s the Ultimate Gambler.”

“Does gambling really help in a fight?” Pit asks, confused.

“Well, someone of her skill would mean that she would know what is the right kind of risk to take at the right time… so maybe.” Viridi points out in technicality.

“Not to mention that she’s a skilled liar, manipulator and deceiver. Something you could definitely use on the side of good.” Palutena continues to explain.

The goddess decides to shift gears to explain Celes’ backstory.

“Anyway, Taeko started out using this alias of Celes and a fake past to make others believe she was special when in actuality, she was as average as you can get. Eventually, she was put into a Killing Game with other students led by a psychotic bear named Monokuma.”

“Wait, what?!” Pit exclaims while the goddess continues.

“In this game, to escape the school you’re imprisoned in, you have to kill someone and get away with it. Celes however, couldn’t get away with her crime and was executed as punishment. Eventually, a group of aliens known as Link Jokers revived her, as well as other fallen students to take over the multiverse.”

Pit continues to be bewildered at how over the top this has just become.

“However, they were stopped by the Disciples and some of their friends. Celes at the end decided to switch sides and redeem herself, wanting to live her second life to the fullest. This change of heart caused her to be one of the first Skylanders when the Academy opened in the center of the multiverse known as the Hub.”

“So… is that all?” Pit asks, finger up.

“Not even close!” Viridi laughs.

Palutena then continues the next chapter of Celes’ life. “Later on in her Skylander career, Celes travelled into a place known as the TV World, a treacherous location filled with Shadows, embodiments of one’s inner self.”

“That’s where she had to face her Shadow and come to terms with her real self as Taeko Yasuhiro. As reward, she gained a special power known as a Persona, and now Celestia is nothing more than a nickname.”

“So… what’s her powers?” Pit asks, still trying to piece all this together.

“Celes, due to being exposed to fire in her execution now has the power to channel it, as well as the Dark Element. Her primary weapon is the Justice Hammer. It evokes memories of her past murder, sure, but it is an effective tool.” Palutena describes.

“And when the going gets rough, boom! Persona!” Viridi smiles. “She can summon Carmen to light people up like craaazy!”

“Good to know she’s on the side of good, then. Don’t wanna get her angry.” Pit sighs in relief.

“Oh, you shouldn’t. She has one hot temper.” Palutena nods. “After all, she… is…”

Palutena and Viridi pause for a moment before shouting in unison.

“…CELESTIA LUDENBERG, GODDAMMIT!”

MONOKUMA @Failinhearts

Spoiler

“So, Lady Palutena… which Skylander’s next?” Pit asks.

Palutena looks at Pit and merely replies with a devious smirk.

“Uh… Lady P-Palutena?”

“I think we should take a break from Skylanders today, Pit...” The goddess finally expresses.

Pit nods in understanding, believing this is a literal break from sitting down and analyzing those beyond their universe. “Got it. I’ll just return to my quarters and-“

“…How about we look at one of their enemies, instead?” Palutena concludes.

“…Oh.” Pit states, sitting back down despite just beginning to lift himself off his seat. “Uh, who are we looking at, then?”

“We talked about Celestia Ludenberg last time.” Viridi says. “How about we look at the fella responsible for killing her in the first place?”

Showing up on the massive, floating orb is images of what appears to be a half-black, half-white teddy bear, a menacing red eye and sinister grin on his darker side.

“I… suppose this is the evil bear you were talking about before? Kinda cute. But also kinda scary.” Pit says. “You think we can replace that black half with a mirror of the white one?”

“Sure. Let me use my image editing magic.” Palutena responds with a smile.

“Wait, that’s a thing?” The angel asks, bewildered. “You really CAN do anything, Lady Palutena!”

“Either that, or her troops are in the back, photoshopping it!” Viridi smugly comments.

Ignoring that insult from Viridi, the image of the revised bear appears, with both sides being white, both of his beady eyes and gaping open mouth ironically only made things more unsettling.

“Gah! Change it back! Change it baaaaack!” Pit cries.

With a giggle, Palutena snaps her fingers, bringing the image back to normal.

Panting from the panic, Pit shakes his head. “Let’s… just get this over with.”

“Right, so this is Junko Enoshima, better known by her alias, Monokuma.” Palutena explains.

“Yet as Monokuma, she is referred to as a guy, but as a human, he’s a girl…” Viridi adds. “Don’t question it.”

“Junko Enoshima is known as the Ultimate Despair. She lives and breathes chaos and death, simply because she finds it more fun. That desire led her to destroy her own world.” Palutena continues, before once again being interrupted.

This time, by Pit. “Wait, she ENDED the WORLD? How? Did she have any powers… or anything?”

“No. She was just so good of a manipulator, she was able to utilize factors that can, particularly mind control and social outrage.” Palutena answers. “With the world in shambles and people around the world killing each other for no reason other than pure despair, the next phase of her plan went into motion.”

Images of 16 teenagers flash on screen.

“Pitting high school students with exceptional talents to kill each other to drive the world’s morale even further down the rabbit hole. While the majority did die, Junko eventually was defeated and killed herself by the survivors.”

“Why… did she kill herself?” Pit asks.

“Because she wanted to. Seemed fun and verrry despair-inducing.” Viridi shrugs.

“Wait, what?! She’s crazy! If she wanted to feel despair in the first place like that, she could’ve just killed herself day one!” Pit asks, baffled.

“Are you really trying to apply logic to a lunatic like her?” Viridi asks, disappointed in Pit.

“However, as stated before with Celes, Junko was brought back to life by the Link Jokers, this time bearing ultimate godly power to consume the multiverse. Only the combined might of the Disciples and their friends was able to destroy her physical form.” Palutena states. “Her soul was salvaged by a group of interdimensional villains, however, placed and preserved in the body of the bear puppet she used to orchestrate her killing game.”

“And with that, the Monokuma the Skylanders know and hate was born!” Viridi announces. “One of the heads of LOSE, this fluffy guy is behind a lot of the plans which threaten tons and tons of universes!”

“He’s still a skilled manipulator and even a tactician or sorts. His claws are near unbreakable, his strength equal to his world’s strongest beings and can’t even die.” Palutena says, describing Monokuma’s powers. “Even if you singe every bit of fur off his body and melt his robotic endoskeleton, his Link Joker soul can merely reconstruct it over time.”

“Is there any way to kill him, them?” Pit asks, the tone of his voice conveying clear concern.

“None that even I’m aware of. But it has to be somewhere.” Palutena admits. “Not to mention probably the most mysterious tool in his arsenal. After the Skylanders fought dark duplicates of other heroes, including Optimus Prime, Monokuma salvaged the heart that lies within the evil Autobot: The Matrix of Leadership. He hasn’t demonstrated much of it yet, but it wields great destructive capability upon a long recharge, and allows his arms to morph into a variety of weaponry.”

“Yeesh… how does he keep losing to the Skylanders with that much power, then?” Pit wonders, tilting his head, curious if not intimidated.

“He may be powerful, but Monokuma’s far from perfect. He sometimes glosses over oversights in his plans, both unintentionally and intentionally for the sake of despair. He sometimes finds enjoyments in his own failures.” Palutena tells Pit. “Not to mention frequently underestimating his foes due to his delusion of power long ago.”

“He’s also pretty quirky in his personality, cracking jokes and not taking things seriously… or so it seems. Monokuma’s also a neverending ball of hatred towards the Skylanders, especially towards the person who foiled his plans long ago: Makoto Naegi, and Sonic, who dealt the final blow towards his human form.”

Pit scratches the back of his neck. “He seems tough… but if I ever became a Skylander someday…”

He then nods in confidence. “I’ll take Monokuma on! I’m not letting him scare me! His despair is no match for my hope!”

Viridi groans. “Man, if Monokuma were here, those words would not evoke good memories…”

 

[Failinhearts]

A new duo of Guidances!

KIRBY: @Cheawn @-dan-

Spoiler

“Finally, a familiar face!” Pit smiles as the next Skylander comes into view: A pink puffball of small stature.

“So that’s what Kirby’s been up to for the past while!”

“Yes.” Palutena nods. “After the incident with Galeem, the Kirby you know went on to join the Skylanders.”

“Yeah, that makes sen- Wait, what do you mean the Kirby I know?” Pit then asks, suddenly confused after Palutena’s last statement.

“Believe it or not, Pit. Two Kirbys have joined the Skylanders.” Palutena explains.

The viewing orb then changed pictures to showcase several adventures of a Kirby. “The first one was the same is that he came from Planet Popstar, can copy abilities… but he was able to speak full sentences, and has a bit of an attitude.”

Viridi then directs the attention of the others towards what seems to appear to be a destroyed stadium. “Not to mention a bit of a temper! He destroyed this whole place on his own once! Apparently it was owned by some guy named Chen. He got in his nerves.”

“Eventually,” Palutena continues. “That Kirby went off on his own to pursue his own ventures. Time passed, and then the Kirby we knew joined the Skylanders.”

“Still, I wonder what it would be like to talk to that other Kirby! Like, actually have a full conversation! Feels so surreal thinking about it!”

He then nudges the goddess.

“Hey, Lady Palutena! Were you ever able to understand what Kirby says and thinks? What’s he like under all those poyos?!”

“…Honestly, Pit… even looking into his mind only registers as Poyos, Hi and thoughts about food to me.” Palutena confesses. “He’s a life form even I have trouble comprehending…”

“Kirby is a mystery to us all!” Viridi sighs.

KATII SWORDHAND: @Emperor Robrainiac

Spoiler

The next Skylander to appear is a real enigma to Pit. Not because he hasn’t seen them before, but because a lot of their body is cloaked.

However, he could make out their tail and ears for him to make a proper inference.

“Is… that some kind of ninja cat?”

“The proper term is Catling, actually.” Palutena corrects. “This is Katii Swordhand.”

“That’s a pretty interesting getup she has there.” Pit points out. “We can’t even see her face. Is she a ninja of sorts?”

Palutena squints for a moment before coming to a sort of conclusion. “You could say that. She does designate herself into the Ninja Battle Class of Skylanders, but the more accurate term is a thief.”

“Hooold on, a thief?!” Viridi gasps. “That doesn’t sound heroic at all! Are you sure you’re not looking at the villains again?”

The Goddess of Light shakes her head. “No. I am certain. This is a Skylander. Somethings just aren’t as black and white as you think.”

“Katii once belonged with a group known as the Thieves’ Guild in her world. She wasn’t the most well received among her peers, however. As such, she left to another dimension and joined the Skylanders Academy.”

“A change of heart, I see.” Pit nods.

“You can say that. She’s just trying to find a place to belong. Luckily, despite her own anxieties regarding her past as a thief, the Skylanders quickly accepted her. So now, she uses her skills for good.” Palutena states. “This doesn’t mean her thief instincts aren’t gone… but that’s habits for you.”

Viridi groans in response. “Regardless, I’m keepin’ my distance from her! I don’t want someone stealing my staff or something!”

Palutena then replies to Viridi.

“Katii definitely could. She may be a little grouchy and lazy, but when she puts her talents to good use, she’s one of the most agile Skylanders around. She was once able to infiltrate and disable an Arkeyan laser trap, which is a highly advanced and ancient security system.”

Palutena then shows off a bit, a bit of light energy circling around her index finger.

“Additionally, Katii has taken up magic. This allows her to create traps, weaponry and a variety of spells to further add to her skillset.”

“Whoa, a Magic Thief Ninja?” Pit recites to himself in shock. “Talk about the ultimate combo!”

“The only sort of major weakness that has been demonstrated is her aforementioned laziness, clumsiness and also her easy to manipulate emotions. For a while, a devious imp-like god named Mayhem decided to inhabit her for a while. He fed off her negativity, but eventually he left.” Palutena says. “And not even I can pinpoint where he is now.”
 

“Great, more gods I haven’t heard of wanting to cause trouble. Better keep my eyes out.” Viridi sighs.

Pit meanwhile just relaxes on his seat.

“Still, though, with those powers? Katii sounds purrrfect! Get it, Lady Palutena?”

Palutena turns to Pit slowly and silently after that bad pun.

“Pit?”

“Yes, Lady Palutena?”

“Get out.”

 

[Failinhearts]

The Christmas week was hectic, but I managed to get a guidance done!

NIGHTWING: @Ryannumber1Santa

Spoiler

The next Skylander to appear before Pit looks to be that of a young man in a black and blue spandex suit and mask. Captain Falcon was the first thing to come up in the angel’s head.

“Did… F-Zero change since the last Smash tournament? I mean, we just started it and…”

“No, Pit. This isn’t a racer.” Palutena giggles. “That’s a superhero. This is Nightwing, you may know him better as the grown up version of Robin.”

“Wait, Robin? As in Batman’s sidekick, Robin?” Pit asks in bewilderment.

“Yes, that Robin. As the years went by, he went from Batman’s sidekick, to leader of the Teen Titans to his own hero. This Robin in specific is named Dick Grayson.”

Viridi observes the Skylander, humming to herself. “Well, at least the outfit’s a step up.”

“Everything’s a step up, Viridi.” Palutena nods. “Nightwing, just like his mentor is a skilled Detective, master of stealth and martial artist, maintaining Batman’s morals with less of the instability the older hero had to live with.”

“Some of the more well-known tools in his arsenal include his own version of the Batarang, which he calls the Wingdings. Like the Batarangs, there are Wingdings outfitted for a variety of situations and threats.”

Pit holds back a small burst of laughter. “Could do with a name change, though. I don’t think Wingdings sound all that threatening. They sound funny, and playful! What a silly pun!”

“I mean… it’s not like Batarang was that much better.” Viridi groans.

Palutena then changes the images shown to that of a pair of glowing sticks.

“Nightwing does have a unique weapon, however. These are known as the-“

“GLOWSTICKS!” Pit exclaims with glee. “He fights with glowsticks!”

“Not glowsticks, Pit. Those will do minimal damage.” Palutena corrects her servant. “These are Escrima Sticks, a Filipino martial arts weapon that Nightwing outfitted with electrical charges.”

“Their primary means is to stun the enemy in melee combat.”

“Es…creeemah?” Pit vocalizes, trying to make heads or tails out of the odd name. “Whatever, I’m calling them glowsticks.”

“Call them what you want, but they’re surprisingly effective in the hands of someone as experienced as Nightwing. Palutena nods. “He’s so skilled, even without superpowers, on his adventures with the Skylanders and Disciples, he survived fates that led the others believe he was dead… and he returns whenever he’s needed.”

Viridi comes in with an example. “Like after his quote unquote ‘death’ in the battle against Lord Vortech, Nightwing returned during an actual Monokuma Killing Game to save someone’s life from execution.”

“Which is no easy feat. A testament to Nightwing’s skills in stealth, he infiltrated the compromised Skylanders Academy and bypassed all of Monokuma’s security measures and cameras. Those cameras are everywhere mind you so Monokuma can monitor an entire murder scene.” Palutena clarifies.

“He snuck into an execution chamber and with a highly accurate Wingding throw, cut Kaede Akamatsu from being asphyxiated by a rope.”

Pit nods in interest. “Huh! I wonder if this guy can give me arrow training to be that precise!”

“One thing to point out is that Nightwing has known the Disciples for probably the longest out of everyone in this multiverse. When Sayaka arrived long ago, Nightwing was the first person to befriend her. They’ve become fast friends since.” Palutena points out.

“Yeah! I heard from Mega Man too that they have a thing for each other! Ooooooooooh!” Viridi smirks.

“Oh! Let me in on that juicy gossip!” Pit asks enthusiastically.

“Whiiich is an exaggeration and untrue.” Palutena scolds. “Nightwing is already in a relationship with Starfire, a fellow member of the Teen Titans who has gone missing, and Sayaka bears no romantic interest in anyone as far as I know since becoming a Skylander.”

Viridi huffs in response. “You can be such a buzzkill, you know that?”

“But yeah, Nightwing’s pretty cool!” Pit smiles.

“I dunno. He should be more bruiting and edgy. He should be swearing about Batman, breaking bones and killing those stupid monkeys. Now that’s a Nightwing I can get behind!” Viridi suggests with pride.

“Oh please, Viridi. Why would anyone do that to him?” Palutena shakes her head.

 

[Failinhearts]

A new Guidance is here!
 

MARINE THE RACCOON: @NegaMetallix

Spoiler

Before Pit stands an image of a character that appears to be from Sonic’s world. She’s small with a green dress, with little pigtails that look like boomerangs.

“Is… Is that a raccoon, Lady Palutena?”

“Yes, that is Marine the Raccoon. She comes from the Sol Dimension, a universe parallel to Sonic’s. She may be small, only being about 7 years old… but she has grand dreams of becoming a great ship captain and search for treasure... kinda like a pirate.” Palutena explains.

“Wait, so she’s supposed to be a pirate?” Pit asks. “But… But where’s the eyepatch?”

“And the big ship?!” Viridi asks.

“Or the dangerous swords?” Pit adds.

“Or the crew?” Viridi continues as the two begin listing more aspects of the stereotypical pirate.

“Or the parrot?”

“Or the beard?”

“Or the treasure?”

“Or the cannons?”

“Or the Y’AAAAAARRRRRRR!” Pit and Viridi conclude together.

“You two are expecting way too much of a kid with a dream.” Palutena tells them. “Marine is very talkative and takes initiative fairly easily. She isn’t a terribly good fighter, though. What she does make up for is that she is a pretty proficient builder. She can construct ships pretty well with the right materials.”

“So… she has no powers? Like, at all?” Pit asks. “I dunno if this kid is fit to be a Skylander if that’s the case.”

“Now, there is one more thing I’ve yet to mention. Marine does bear some… odd energy. Not even I can tell what it is, it’s quite an enigma.” Palutena explains.

“Not even you know? Pfft, how pathetic.” Viridi grins. “It just looks like her hands is just glowing a small light, how powerful can it really be?”

“I don’t know, it was able to go up against the mighty Egg Wizard so you tell me.” Palutena grins with a sense of pride. “Maybe if she uses it on you, you might not live to see tomorrow.”

“Okay, okay, point taken.” Viridi groans in defeat.

 

[Failinhearts]

New Guidances, coming up!

LUMINA: @Spin Attaxx

Spoiler

“Who’s that, Lady Palutena?” Pit asks, referring to the next Skylander on display. She looks human, but her overall stature is miniscule. It’s almost as if she could ride Pit’s shoulder.

Her hair is long and pink, wearing a white and pink dress and a blue star tattoo on her right eye.

“Oh, that’s Lumina. She’s an Elemental.” Palutena states.

“So… kinda like Jessica? She’s so small, though!” Pit exclaims.

“Jessica isn’t an Elemental, she’s an average human that just bears a Magic Core of one. Normal Elementals are typically this small of a size.” The goddess explains. “But don’t underestimate them, their power output makes them on par with any of the taller Skylanders.”

“Okay… so what does this Lumina do, then?” Viridi then asks, seeming doubtful.

The goddess clears her throat.

“Lumina’s a Light Elemental. As such, she can channel light. Not only can she channel light into energy beams, but her most notable trait is to form light into physical objects. She’s most commonly seen with a keytar made of light.”

“I see! So she’s got some music theme going on! So can she channel sound, too?” Pit asks, intrigued.

Palutena shakes her head. “Contrary to popular belief due to her side job as a famous performer, Lumina does not have Sound energy. Remember, she’s a Light Elemental. Not a Sound Elemental. She just learned how to play music naturally.”

“I see! She sure is passionate with that getup, too! I like the tattoo she has on!” Pit smiles.

“Get used to that tattoo, she always has it on. After all, it’s used to hide a horrid scar.” Palutena then tells the angel.

“A…A scar?” Pit then mumbles.

Palutena zooms in on the image of Lumina to focus on the right eye.

“Remember when we talked about Charn? The man who wiped out nearly the entire Elemental race? Lumina’s a survivor, but not without consequence. Not only did she lose a close friend, but her eye suffered a scar on her eye. That tattoo serves as a cover.”

“A-Ah…” Pit stays quiet, twiddling his thumbs, trying to think of a change of subject. “S-So… Lady Palutena, you’re the Goddess of Light, right? Can you do what Lumina can do and create musical instruments?”

“Whatever do you mean, Pit?”

Pit jolts from his seat for a second, noticing Palutena has a fully functional drum kit made of light out of nowhere.

TRON BONNE: @JokerJovahexeonJoranvexeon

Spoiler

“Onto our next Skylander!” Palutena smiles.

Appearing onto the viewing orb is a girl with brown hair, a pink dress and a dark jacket. No notable abilities seem apparent to Pit as the angel tilts his head.

“…Uh… am I supposed to say something, Lady Palutena?” He asks.

“Don’t you know who this is?”

“No, I don’t. Doesn’t… really ring a bell to me.”

“I thought you knew about Mega Man.”

“I-I mean I know who Mega Man is, Lady Palutena, but I don’t know like… everything about him!”

“Just teasing. I know.” Palutena chuckles. “This is Tron Bonne, from the Legends world. In her Earth, the entire planet has flooded, and the primary means of transportation is through airships.”

“That… definitely doesn’t sound like Mega Man…” Viridi states. “Are you sure you’re looking at the right game?”

“I am. Mega Man has gone through numerous interpretations and reincarnations, some being more abstract than the last.” Palutena explains. “Some Mega Mans aren’t even a robot, but occasionally a human bearing the alias.”

“Sorry, are we talking about Mega Man, or Tron at this point?” Pit butts in, trying to resolve the derailed topic.

The goddess nods. “Yes, yes. Good save Pit. So… Tron is a sort of, well you can see antagonist to the Mega Man of this world. She’s a part of the Bonnes family, a group of air pirates.”

“Wait, Air Pirates? They’re just one step towards becoming Space Pirates…” Pit grumbles.

“They’re not capable of that… yet. Their ship, the Gesellschaft is a bulky yet versatile machine. Perfect for plundering and looting.”

“Ge… Shell… shaft?” Pit begins to recite with difficulty.

“Gesellschaft. It’s derived from German dialect.” Palutena states.

Pit’s face scrunches up. He can’t even comprehend visible words, much less foreign languages. “Riiiiight… So, if they’re pirates, does this make Tron a bad guy?”

“Kind of. Her morality is more complex than that. She’s not inherently evil, just greedy. Like all pirates. The Bonnes joined LOSE due to an actually evil pirate, Risky Boots who believed she could fulfill their wish of creating a place known as PIRATEWORLD. It didn’t exactly go very well.” Palutena says. “Upon realizing that, Tron has joined the Skylanders and is quite the valuable asset to the team.”

“So what kind of powers does she have, huh?” Pit asks in excitement.

“Tron doesn’t exactly have powers per say, but she does have a brilliant mind. She’s a mechanic and inventor, and that’s always a useful person to have onboard. She also have skills in piloting mechs, which is her preferred method of combat. However that bright mind does make her quite boastful and emotionally charged.” The Goddess of Light continues.

“And she’s not alone either. By her side are 41 adorable little yellow minions known as Servbots! The Servbots are loyal to the core and Tron can be quite motherly to them… sometimes.”

“They’re so cute! Too bad they’re creations of filthy monkeys! Hmph. If they were animals, I would bring them in and call them mine.” Viridi declares in a jealous fit.

“Tron does find something else cute, on that topic. Mega Man himself. She harbors a bit of a crush on her world’s Blue Bomber, but is currently in a relationship with Mikan Tsumiki, believe it or not.” Palutena tells the two, showing a hint of delight.

“We seem to gossip a bit about romance here.” Pit sighs. “Don’t really have an interest in it.”

“Oh! Pit! I think I hear Zelda coming this way!” Viridi gasps.

This immediately causes Pit to blush heavily and look around in a frenzy.

“P-P-P-Princess Z-Zelda?! Where?!”

“Hah! Got him again!” Viridi cackles.

 

[Failinhearts]

The Skyworld crew is back!

HIYOKO SAIONJI

Spoiler

“Wha? Who let their kid into the Skylanders?” Pit asks.

The next hero on display appears to be a small child. Her cheeks are rosy, and her blonde hair is split into two oversized pigtails. What she’s wearing is a kimono that even for its standards seem too big.

“Oh, that isn’t a child. She’s actually a young woman. This is Hiyoko Saionji, the Ultimate Traditional Dancer.” Palutena tells Pit.

“Sure… sure…” The angel nods, doubtfully. “Either way, she’s a dancer? Still questioning why she was admitted in.”

“Hiyoko looks cute, harmless and her talent for dancing sees rather inoffensive… but she’s probably one of the more cruel Skylanders with a dark past. She has an aggressive personality with a dirty mouth.” Palutena explains further.

“Hiyoko was a student in Hope’s Peak Academy, and even then she was quite the bully. This is thanks to some… less than stellar relatives. The only person she had any sort of loving bond with was her father. Despite this, she still managed to make some friends throughout her life there… until Junko Enoshima of course.”

“Monokuma?” Pit questions. “What did she do? Kill her parents?”

“Even worse. Junko was able to mind control Hiyoko’s class into people only obsessed with despair. She was one of the people known as the Remnants of Despair to end the world. Chances are, she probably killed her own parents!”

“Dang… that’s dark. How did she even get outta that mess?” Viridi wonders.

Palutena exhales slightly.

“It wasn’t easy. It took Makoto Naegi, the Ultimate Hope, and his crew to gather up every Remnant and send their minds into a digital rehabilitation environment known as the Neo World Program. After some… ahem, major setbacks, Hiyoko and her friends were eventually relieved of their mind control.”

“And I guess she became a Skylander to redeem herself later on?” Pit asks his Goddess.

“Indeed. Despite Hiyoko’s venomous insults to people she dislikes, and her cruelty towards insects, Hiyoko isn’t exactly black hearted. She wants to help those and make up for the destruction she caused. She’s surprisingly well-equipped, too.” The green haired deity continues speaking.

“Her fans, which are a common staple in Japanese traditional dancing are lined with sharp metal edges to act as blades. Thanks to Makoto’s discovery of being able to infuse Elemental properties into people, Hiyoko was also blessed with the power to harness nature. Particularly, plantlife. She can spawn thorny vines or healing flowers for a variety of battling scenarios.”

Pit scratches his head.

“Hang on… so a small blonde girl who looks harmless, with a cruel side, caused major destruction, harsh mouth AND has control over nature? This reminds me of someone…”

“Don’t. You. Dare compare me to that monkey!” Viridi barks.

“There is a rather unique trait to Hiyoko, however.” Palutena holds her finger up. “You see, Hiyoko did have a growth spurt in her school days. Her new powers allowed her to actually grow and shrink into her older and younger state, each with their own physical traits. Her small stature makes her faster, but her grown form obviously packs more of a punch.”

“Why does she stay small? Wouldn’t it be better for her to be bigger?” Viridi asks before looking down. “N-Not that I’m jealous…”

“I mean, yes. Hiyoko did enjoy the fact that she grew when it happened… but ever since she became a Remnant, she doesn’t exactly want to go back to the form which reminded her of that tragic event. So she stays small when she can.” Palutena says. “She still hasn’t exactly let go of what she has done…”

“At least she still has a better moral compass than Viridi, am I right, Lady Palutena?” Pit chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.

“Pit, you have five seconds before I kill you.” Viridi growls, fuming.

 

[Failinhearts]

New Guidances are here!

MIKAN TSUMIKI: @-dan-

Spoiler

The next Skylander to appear has a similar sort of style to Hiyoko. She must’ve came from the same world. This girl is obviously taller, long dark hair, a timid face and her attire is that of a nurse’s.

“So, who’s this?” Pit asks. “Is that a nurse? If so, good idea on the Skylanders’ part! I’m sure after all that fighting, you need medical care just in case!”

“Which makes me wonder… Pit, what happens when you get too hurt in Smash? Do you have a medical bay or something? Does Master Hand whip up a nice bowl of soup for the loser?” Viridi wonders.

“Actually he…” Pit’s eyebrows lower as he tries to remember. “…You know, that’s a good question.”

“Can we focus, please?” Palutena tells them. “This is Mikan Tsumiki, and you’re right, Pit. She’s the Ultimate Nurse… and also the biggest target of Hiyoko’s bullying.”

“Are we… supposed to be proud of that?” Viridi wonders.

“I mean, you can at least call that a testament to her endurance? Able to at least live through her cruelty? But yeah, she has some self-esteem issues and is quite clumsy.” Palutena answers. “Hiyoko nowadays is easing up, though.”

Pit looks at Mikan and her relations to Hiyoko, raising a question. “Wait, so if they knew each other… does that make Mikan a Remnant of Despair, too?”

“Indeed, Pit. Mikan was probably one of the most crazed and terrifying Remnants of all, due to her dependency to Junko.” Palutena explains. “It goes to show just how you can’t underestimate the tortured souls.”

“Even after her redemption, the Skylanders realized that some of that mind control still lingers in her. Hopefully her new girlfriend Tron Bonne would help wash that away in time.”

“Oh yeah, Tron’s dating her, isn’t she?” Pit scratches his head. “Interesting matchup.”

“Ooh! Can I bring up you know who again?” Viridi grins in anticipation.

“D-Don’t you dare!” Pit starts to show traces of blushing just by the thought of “you-know-who”.

“Anyway, despite Mikan’s clumsiness, Mikan isn’t called the Ultimate Nurse for nothing.” Palutena continues to describe the nurse’s skillset. “Her attention to detail when it comes to healing and tending to the wounded is second to none. In battle, she isn’t exactly the most well-trained but not useless thanks to her oversized needles and equipment.”

“D-Did you say oversized needles?” Pit shivers. “No thank you!”

“Oh, Pit. Everyone knows you need needles to make sure you’re healthy. Mayyybe I should give Mikan a call myself.” Palutena smirks.

“N-NO! HAVE MERCY, LADY PALUTENA! I DON’T WANNA GO TO THE DOCTOR’S!” Pit shrieks.

ROXAS: @Ryannumber1gamer

Spoiler

Upon seeing the next Skylander, Pit touches his own hair.

“Not for nothing, Lady Palutena but I feel like this guy’s copying my hairstyle.” Pit accuses.

The boy in question has blonde hair styled in a similar way to the angel. Obviously, he lacks his wings, or his heavenly attire. His clothes looked like a mix of both casual wear, but with a form of elegance to it: Dark clothes with a white jacket to brighten up the look a bit.

“That’s Roxas.” Palutena says. “He’s…”

“He’s…?” Pit awaits a response to his goddess.

“Haha, sorry Pit. I’m just trying to find a way to word this.” Palutena giggles. “You see, his world and backstory is quite… expansive, so I’m looking for a good way to condense the details.”

Palutena taps her cheek repeatedly as she thinks.

“Oho! Do my ears deceive me?” Viridi echoes. “Is Palutena actually struggling this time around? You sure you know your Kingdom Hearts?”

“O-Of course I do, Viridi!” Palutena gasps, flustered. “The difficult part is having Pit understand. I fear he couldn’t comprehend the history, you know?”

“Did… Did you just call me dumb, Lady Palutena?!” Pit says with a sharp inhale.

Palutena shakes her head. “No, of course not, Pit. You’re just… uninformed.”

“That’s smart speak for calling you dumb.” Viridi contradicts.

Before the conversation could escalate, Palutena snaps her fingers. “Okay, I got it.”

“Roxas is actually born from the heart of a boy named Sora. Sora sacrificed himself with it, essentially to save his friend, Kairi.”

Pit’s face immediately changes to one of disgust.

“Ew! So he came from his heart?! That sounds… so gross!”

“Not literally, Pit!” Viridi sighs. “Hearts in his world are much more symbolic than just some organ that pumps blood. “

“Oooooh… I get it, now! Man, I really need to apologize to Joker…” Pit grits his teeth in regret.

“Why?” Viridi asks.

“You see… when I first met him and I asked about what he does, he said he “steals hearts”. I thought he stole real hearts from people! I-I kinda accused him of being a vampire.” Pit laughs sheepishly.

“Are you serious, right now?!” Viridi groans.

“Anyway…” Palutena says. “Roxas was born and brought into an evil group known as Organization XIII. That’s how he got his name, actually. Eventually, he rebelled against them and was then put into a digital environment.”

“Oh, ho! I get where this is going now! The Neo World Program, right?” Pit confidently grins.

“Yeahhh, uh, no. Wrong franchise.” Viridi corrects him.

“In this completely unrelated world…” The goddess of light emphasizes. “Roxas had a chance to live the life he didn’t really have in the real world. He lived in a town, had a friends, seemed fine. Down the line after going on an adventure, he regained his memories, uncovered his origins and chose to rejoin with Sora.”

Pit scratches his head at this explaination. “So… if Roxas is one with Sora, how is he here?”

“That is difficult to pinpoint for this Roxas due to separate timelines beginning to converge. All we can say for now is that whatever the Disciples have been doing before the formation of the Skylanders, their rifts in space and time has managed to fracture reality. This has caused Roxas to become a separate entity once more.” Palutena explains. “I expect that to change once the convergence occurs and potentially alters history.”

“Uhhh…” Pit looks like he would crash and shut down at any moment.

“Palutena’s saying that the rifts caused by all this dimension hopping has managed to mess with Roxas’ world made him his own person again. But history might change soon… probably thanks to a new game or something.” Viridi simplifies.

“And with the help of the Skylanders, Roxas has learned to be his own person. He’s even pursued a romantic relationship with… uh, Shantae, of all people.” Palutena adds.

“Ooooh…” Pit nods, still slightly dazed. “Sooo… how does he fight?”

“Roxas’ primary weapon is known as the Keyblade. It’s a unique weapon capable of being swung like a sword and conjure a variety of spells.” Palutena explains. “It’s quite a versatile and mystical tool.”

Pit nods and hums in acknowledgement, still putting this backstory together.

“You know, Lady Palutena… it hit me. Roxas kinda reminds me of Pitoo. He came from me, and now he’s kinda doing his own thing! Kinda proud of him… kinda.” Pit chuckles.

 

[Failinhearts]

Back in action with new Guidances!

RYOKO OTONASHI: @Crow the BOOLET

Spoiler

The next hero for the two Skyworld residents to see is that of a young woman with long red hair and a standard Hope’s Peak Academy uniform.

“Uhh… another Ultimate, I guess?” Pit infers.

“Indeed. This Skylander is Ryoko Otonashi, the Ultimate Analyst.” Palutena replies before getting caught off guard by Viridi’s own addition…

“Oootherwise known as Junko Enoshima!”

Pit’s wings stand upright. “J-Junko Enoshima?! Like, Monokuma?! That’s not a Skylander, that’s a bad guy! You sure that isn’t a disguise?”

“No… that is Junko, in a sense. But this is another Junko, one not exactly so focused on despair.” Palutena explains. “This Ryoko inhabits the body intended to be for the real Junko.”

“Let me explain further. So, Junko is in the body of Monokuma because what remained of her soul when LOSE tried to resurrect her could not control a human body. It was very weak and fractured. LOSE did create an artificial body for her, but the soul couldn’t react to it.”

“So… it was a body without a soul? Like, a shell? Then how is she, you know… alive?” Pit asks, scratching his head.

Viridi clears her throat. “Blame a little brat named Monaca Towa for that!”

“Monaca, a Junko worshipper who experienced a relapse and momentarily joined LOSE was devastated for not being able to be with the Junko she loved after getting so close. Her cries were heard by a now ex-LOSE mercenary named Ronin. To shut her up, Ronin decided to cross dimensions and steal souls from other Junkos to infuse into the shell.” Palutena continues.

“He used this using a special weapon from another realm in his dimension, the Djinn Blade from the realm of Djinjago. Using this blade and its unique ability to steal the soul of whoever it strikes down, he captured the souls of Junkos from alternate realities.”

Viridi shrugs in response with a side note. “And as such, he kinda saved a lotta worlds by taking their destroyer away. Not bad for a morally shady merc.”

“However, more often than not, Ronin struck down Junko when she WAS Ryoko, a kind and forgetful second personality that was created when Junko tested out her memory wiping tech on herself.”  Palutena details, getting to the origin of the original Ryoko. “So when the souls were injected into the empty body, what came out wasn’t the psychopath Monaca wanted, but the ditzy analyst. Ryoko was as such, abandoned and left wandering the world.”

“And for an extra kick, she forgot her own origins thanks to her crappy memory! You could snap your fingers and she’d forget where she even is!” Viridi laughs. “That is why she carries a notebook with her at all times, to keep track of where she even goes! Sad, huh?”

Palutena then explains the next part of Ryoko’s story.

“Eventually, Ryoko caught the attention of Tsumugi Shirogane. We’ll get into her later, but what you need to know now that she wanted to rewrite the whole multiverse to follow a story she wrote out… and Ryoko was to be her protagonist as a tale about redemption.”

Pit squints his eyes. “Wait… someone wanted to make a story about her, and the multiverse was gonna be her set piece? Talk about being the center of attention.”

“This plan was foiled however thanks to the unexpected appearance of one Kaede Akamatsu, distorting the flow of Tsumugi’s story. This caused Ryoko to join the Skylanders much later than intended. Thanks to their help, she was able to discover her origins.” Palutena corrects. “After confronting her inner self in the mysterious TV World, she accepted herself as Junko… but wanted to live on as Ryoko.”

“This acceptance caused her to harness powers similar to a Persona, but derived from Junko’s ties to the Link Jokers… although subdued due to her body being artificial. Now, Ryoko travels the multiverse with her sister, Mukuro Ikusaba to make up for her other self’s evil and defend worlds independent from the Skylanders. They do meet up from time to time, though.”

Pit scratches the back of his head, smiling. “Still kinda weird. There’s a good Junko out there! Hope and Despair really do feel like two sides of the same coin now, huh?”

 

[Failinhearts]

A pair of Guidances are here to do some catchup!

KAEDE AKAMATSU

Spoiler

The next Skylander on the menu appears before the heavenly three in the form of a girl with blonde hair. Her outfit comprises that of a white shirt, a pink vest, a tie as well as a skirt accented with musical note. That aspect in particular is also reflected on her several hairpins.

“I take it this one’s a music fan, Lady Palutena?” Pit asks his goddess.

“That’s Kaede Akamatsu, the Ultimate Pianist.” Palutena states. “Her history is quite… um, complicated.”

Pit seems undeterred. “How hard can it be? Lay it on me, as the humans say!”

“Detailing the original Kaede’s origins is a mystery to even me, as not all the details has emerged regarding her. What I can interpret is that Kaede was a participant in a Killing Game reality show held by Tsumugi Shirogane and her organization, Team Danganronpa. She willingly let herself get brainwashed into gaining a talent and a whole new persona. She went from a cold introvert into a strong and sociable leader. “ Palutena explains to her angel. “At least… that’s what we’re lead to believe. What is certain is that Kaede wanted to lead everyone out of the Killing Game, but her headstrong actions led to her downfall. She was framed for a murder she herself thought she committed. “

“So… she uh, died?” Pit mutters.

“Yes, unfairly executed by Monokuma. That is where her story ends…” Palutena states.

“And then she gets revived and joins the Skylanders, right? So predictable.” Viridi concludes.

Palutena surprisingly shakes her head, however.

“No, actually. The real Kaede is still dead. You just needed backstory for the one we’re focusing on. Kaede here, is an Imaginator, a clone of the real deal with the exception of having magical powers. She’s also a Golden Skylander, hailing from the realm the Disciples come from. There was a defect, however which had Kaede not have any of the cloned memories of her real self.”

“So…?” Viridi asks.

“So, she’s labelled as defective and rather than travel multiverses and protect them, as Golden Skylanders should, Kaede is stuck as a dimensional janitor by a cruel and judgemental leader.” Palutena replies. “The same fate met all the clones of that Killing Game’s participants. Kaede however still had ambitions of being a fighter for good.”

“This all led to a fateful dispatch to clean this multiverse. Specifically, Makoto Naegi’s destroyed world. After an unfortunate encounter with a Liberator, a Metarex assassin, Kaede’s friend Shuichi managed to save her… but at the cost of her memories of being even a Golden Skylander wiped. Wanting to have his friend live a free life where she can choose her destiny, Shuichi had Kaede live on the Hub, where the Skylander Academy was.”

Pit drums his fingers on his knees while trying to process the details.

“So… Kaede is a clone of the real Kaede who lost her memories and later joined the Skylanders?”

“Indeed. If you want the cliffnotes version.” Palutena giggles softly. “Upon realizing her hidden power of light, creating weaponized instruments from said light, and later, electricity, Kaede joined the Skylanders in the search of her missing memories. Meanwhile, the orchestrator of the game that killed the real Kaede, Tsumugi tries multiple times to kill her as Kaede’s defective presence distorted her intended script for the multiverse.”

“Eventually, Kaede rediscovered who she was as well as another aspect of her defect: She also had the more cynical persona of her in-game self in her mind. When she accepted it, she gained Apollo, her Persona. With it, and telling the others that they can break their own roles, and not abide to some pre-determined place in a story like protagonist or antagonist, the Skylanders triumphed over Tsumugi and liberated the multiverse.”

Pit smiles in response to this resolution. “Wow! What an inspiring story! So, if I can break my roles… I wonder if that means I can have a promotion, Lady Palutena?”

“Not on your life, Pit.” Palutena playfully denies the angel.

SHUICHI SAIHARA

Spoiler

“Who’s this, Lady Palutena?”

Before Pit is a boy dressed in a dark, formal school outfit. His hair is a dark blue, although its shade can have it be mistaken for black. It doesn’t help that a part of his face is obscured by a black cap with three white stripes on it.

“That’s Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective.” Palutena explains.

“Oh! That’s the person who saved Kaede from that Liberator assassin, right?” Pit asks, confidently.

“The very same. Shuichi, like Kaede is a defective Imaginator. He put a lot of responsibility onto himself in regards to Kaede’s safety and her freedom. That’s something the real Shuichi couldn’t do as he lost Kaede to the Killing Game.” Palutena continues. “Eventually, Shuichi came in to explain to Kaede about her missing past and joined in the fight against Tsumugi Shirogane to save the multiverse from her control.”

“Eventually, he joined the Skylanders to make it up for not being there for her from the start.”

“So… what powers does he have?” Viridi wonders. “If Kaede controls light, does he like… control dark?”

“He controls… nothing. He has no powers whatsoever. Rather, his only means of weaponry is a pistol. Shuichi is not the tactical type. He specializes in observation. After all, he is a detective.” Palutena answers, spawning a magnifying glass in her hand to emphasize her point.

“In regards to his personality, despite his skills, he’s quite weak emotionally. He suffers from anxiety and depression, and failing to perform his duties or protecting Kaede is enough to have him hyperventilate. He even struggles to make eye contact with people, hence why he wears the cap.”

Viridi rolls her eyes. “That sounds… kinda pathetic for a Skylander.”

“He’s working to overcome those flaws, Viridi. That’s strength in its own right, not to mention his exceptional deduction skills; he’s more than proven his spot on the Skylanders.” Palutena corrects the other goddess.

“He’s even removed his cap from time to time, now.”

“Meh, I guess. He’s still faring better than Pit.” Viridi chuckles.

“H-Hey! Low blow, Viridi!” Pit barks back.

 

[Failinhearts]

New Palutena's Guidances!

SHANTAE: @Jovahexeon Fitzroy

Spoiler

“Uh, Lady Palutena… you think this Skylander could wear something, I dunno… more modest?” Pit asks in regards to the next hero he and the two goddesses are analyzing.

Wearing distinctly long purple hair in a ponytail and a red outfit that is particularly lacking in the torso area, this new Skylander is indeed a unique subject on display.

“That’s Shantae, the Half-Genie Hero.” Palutena says. “I believe we had to save one that turned into a Spirit during the whole Galeem incident.”

“Oh, was she?” Pit chuckles. “I wouldn’t remember a single one. There was like, a thousand?”

“Waaait, did you forget saving me?!” Viridi growls.

“N-No…?” Pit lies.

“When this is over, I’m turning YOU into a spirit. The painful way.” Viridi sternly says, cracking her knuckles.

Palutena jumps in to stop the drama. “Can we both stay on topic?”

She clears her throat.

“Ahem… Shantae, as I said is a half-genie, born from a human father and a genie mother. As such her powers aren’t as potent as a complete genie, but that’s not to underestimate her.” She says.

“So, if I was a half-Angel, does that make me have one wing?” Pit asks.

“Wouldn’t you count as a half-Angel since you couldn’t even fly without your goddess?” Viridi smirks.

“Hitting the weak spots, are you…?” Pit sighs in defeat.

Palutena continues onward. “Shantae’s primary source of attack is actually her hair, which she can use as a whip. It can hurt people, break vases and debris, it’s surprisingly potent.”

“On the Genie side of her, Shantae has a variety of special dances. Each of these dances allow Shantae to transform into a specific animal.”

“No way, so she can turn into animals by dancing? Cool! What does she become?” Pit asks in awe.

“Heh. She can turn into animals. I like this chick.” Viridi nods in approval.

“Shantae can turn into the following: A monkey, elephant, spider, harpy, mermaid, crab, mouse, a Dryad-“

“Dryad?” Pit asks.

“It’s a sort of sentient tree.” Viridi explains.

“Ah…” Pit nods.

“…And even a tank.” Palutena concludes.

A pause surrounds the room.

“…Well, that’s a departure.” Pit breaks the silence.

Palutena smiles as she nods. “Indeed. No matter how you slice it, Shantae is extremely versatile. She’s also cheerful, friendly with a sense of justice!”

“Meh, I think the tank’s lame.” Viridi sneers.

“Then I must say, you have bad taste.” Palutena replies in a passive aggressive tone.

VOIDICA: @Spin Attaxx

Spoiler

The next Skylander to appear seems to be a small, monochrome girl with tiny pigtails and a grey dress. Her face is that of an adorably timid child.

“Aww, and who’s this little one, Lady Palutena? And where did all her color go?” Pit asks.

“That’s Voidica, yet another Elemental. I bet you can guess what her attributes are in battle.” Palutena questions the angel.

“She’s grey so… she makes metal?” Pit wonders.

“Pretty sure that’s another Elemental…” Viridi comments. “Say the name again, Pitstain!”

“Voidica… Voidica… Ooooohhh… wow, I feel stupid. Eheheh…” Pit nervously chuckles in shame.

Palutena shakes her head in disapproval before moving forward.

“So Voidica, as her name suggests has the ability to control, well, voids. It’s a great way to keep your target in place.” Palutena says. “Still, she’s definitely not fond of fighting but rather, incredibly friendly and timid.”

“So, basically don’t expect her to do stuff like your Final Smash, right Lady Palutena?” Pit infers.

“Yes. However, that isn’t her full potential. Voidica has a Magic Core with… unique attributes. When its powers are fully awakened, she shifts into a completely new personality.” Palutena says as the image of Voidica changes.

In its place is a much more colorful looking Elemental, with a dress displaying the cosmos.

“This is what the Skylanders dub “Ultraviolet”. While not able to be active for too long, as it’s too exhaustive on the body, it’s power output is immense.”

“No way, she looks like an entirely different person!” Pit states in awe.

“She practically is. Voidica and Ultraviolet have their own individual minds, Voidica potentially being the second consciousness born. How and why, I can’t determine, unfortunately.” Palutena says.

“What I should point out is that Voidica’s Magic Core is inside Jessica as well. So in theory, that same power is locked within her.”

Viridi scratches her head. “Haaang on. That doesn’t make sense! How can two people share the same organ? Twins? That’s not possible, one’s an alien and one’s a filthy monkey!”

“You see, Voidica died at the hands of Charn. Jessica inherited her remains, being the Core. But Voidica is a part of the Skylanders due to time travel.” Palutena says.

“Uhhh… how?” Pit wonders. “If Voidica didn’t die, doesn’t that mean Jessica wouldn’t have the core?”

“I’ll get into them soon, but during this moment, the Skylanders’ adventures through the Elementals’ past were being filmed and broadcasted across the multiverse. The deity behind this show realized Voidica was popular among viewers and used his powers to quite literally place an exact duplicate of Voidica to die in her place.” Palutena says.

“Talk about a convoluted way for execs to bring back popular characters!” Viridi scoffs.

“Yeah, but it’s a common trope.” Palutena says. “Have you read any comics lately?”

(AN: Voidica and Sorceress of the Stars are original creations made by SSMB member Spin Attaxx)

NEPTUNE

Spoiler

The next Skylander for the trio is a girl with purple eyes and hair. Her outfit consists of a dark purple dress with a small white hoodie shirt over it.

“This one looks playful! Who’s that?” Pit asks.

“That’s Neptune. This Skylander is a defective Imaginator of the real Neptune who is the CPU of Planeptune.” Palutena introduces. “Planeptune is a nation in Gamindustri, a world that is a personification of the gaming industry.”

“CPUs are goddesses of their nations and are powered by the faith of their people… which is a reflection of people siding with their favorite console.”

“So… They’re goddesses of games? That’s awesome! Do you know the CPUs, Lady Palutena?” Pit asks.

Palutena nods. “Of course, I make visits to their Basilicoms nowadays for some goddess to goddess talk. But this is not the Neptune we’re talking about.”

“This Neptune is actually a Disciple. While accidentally cloned without the memories of the true Neptune, thus not familiar with her own world, she does have the powers of multiple Neptunes.”

Viridi chimes in. “Uh, multiple Neptunes? What’s the difference about them?”

“Gamindustri is known for being entangled with alternate realities of itself. There’s schoolgirl Neptunes, an adult Neptune, and even a Neptune that is a living motorcycle.” Palutena explains to them.

Viridi holds up her hands. “Wait, wait, wait…. There’s a Neptune that’s just a bike?”

“Yes. Did I stutter?” Palutena asks.

“Nope… nope… just wanna make sure.” Viridi mutters, still bewildered.

Palutena resumes her summary of the Skylander. “Neptune is the first defect to be freed from the defective Imaginator fate of being a dimensional janitor. This is thanks to Sonic taking her in as a Disciple despite her failed creation.”

“In terms of her skills, Neptune wields a sword and is quite skilled with it, having a variety of superpowers and support abilities at her disposal. Her only ranged move is the 32-Bit Mega Blade which spawns a massive purple sword from the ground.”

Palutena snaps her fingers as Neptune’s image changes into that of an adult woman with long dark purple pigtails, blue eyes, digital wings and a tight fitting leotard with armor placed around it.

“Her most iconic ability however is her HDD transformation, turning Neptune into the more serious and powerful Purple Heart. Not only does it imbue her with the power of flight, but her skills are enhanced more so. It is exhausting for her, however.”

Pit groans in jealousy. “Uuuugh… whenever I see people able to fly makes me jealous.”

“Yeah. Sad… for you, not me. I’m just relishing in your misery.”

Pit groans further.

Palutena giggles a bit before moving onwards. “Neptune’s biggest flaw is despite her versatile skills… she’s quite lazy. She may be peppy and enthusiastic, but she’d rather stay home and play games than venture out into the front lines.”

“Still, Neptune won’t stand oppression, as she’s been oppressed herself. So when people are being mistreated or feeling inferior, Neptune will not hesitate to lend a hand and of course, make a new friend.”

Pit nods before hearing a voice.

“Yup, yup! I’m a real people person!”

Pit jolts in place. “Gaaaah! N-Neptune’s here!”

“Boo! Heheh!” Neptune giggles before lounging on the couch.

“Neptune’s also quite… unexpected. She’s one of the more self-aware of the Skylanders which can lead to outcomes like this.” Palutena states.

“Yup! I’m like Deadpool but ditch the red spandex and meatball face to replace with a totes adorbs person like me!” Neptune grins.

“But oooh, this is what it feels like to be in a Palutena’s Guidance, huh? Well, the closest it can get. After all, this is a fanfic.” Neptune says in awe. “So, what else about little ol’ me do we have to cover?”

“Actually… I just wrapped up.” Palutena tells Neptune.

“Aw, poo! I crossed over too late! Now I’ll need to crash someone else’s Guidance for screentime!” Neptune folds her arms.

Palutena scratches her head to think of an idea. “Well, we are covering Noire next. Would you like to do the honors?”

“Boy, do I! I’ll be the best know it all about Lonely Heart you’ll ever see!” Neptune jumps in place, excited.

 

[Failinhearts]

The next Guidance is here!

NOIRE: @DanJ86

Spoiler

“Laaadies and gentlemen! Welcome to Neptune’s Guidance!” Neptune proudly proclaims, standing up dramatically.

“Neptune’s Guidance? I’ll have you know you’re merely making a guest appearance, not hijacking my trademark shtick.” Palutena reminds the otherworldly goddess.

“I kid, I kid! But I did my research for this moment, fellas so allow me to take the lead this time!” Neptune grins as the next Skylander comes on display.

Pit sighs. “I have a baaad idea about this, Lady Palutena.”

“Well, at least it breaks up the monotony, so I’ll take it.” Viridi admits.

The four individuals take a look at the Skylander they’re analyzing this time: A girl with long black pigtails and red eyes. Her outfit consists of a fancy dark blue dress with white, red and gold accents.

“Well, well, well… if it isn’t our favorite tsundere! Noire! Check it, this chick’s the CPU of the nation of Lastation! Pssst! That’s Playstation if you didn’t know already!” Neptune introduces.

“Tsu… de…re?” Pit puzzlingly pronounces.

“A tsundere is a person who acts standoffish and mean towards people they actually like.” Palutena explains.

Neptune whistles loudly. “You have nooo idea how much of a tsun she is! Whenever I’m around, she’ll like… scold me and such, but boy does she get flustered around my cutie patootie bod!”

“I’d point it out to her… but the shippers need fuel! That’s how fandoms work nowadays, y’know? They’re suckers for this!”

Neptune points forward. “Aaaanyway…! Lonely Heart here is a pretty hard worker, doing anything in her power to make her nation bigger and better than anyone else’s! This means, though is that she has little time to have fun and whatnot! Sounds like a pretty sad life.”

“This does however mean that Lastation is one of the most progressive nations in Gamindustri. The amount of Shares she gets mean Noire is one of the most powerful CPUs in the multiverse.” Palutena adds.

“She totally rips my style, though! Blanc uses a hammer, Vert uses a spear, I use a sword…” Neptune summons her blade in her hands. “…And Noire uses a sword, too!”

“It is a rapier, which requires a more elegant style of combat compared to your own.” Palutena contradicts.

“A sword is a sword.” Neptune holds her ground. She does have a neat amount of skills, though! The Lace Ribbon, Volcano Dive, Infinite Slash… it’s not too shabby! Let’s not forget her HDD form Black Heart which boosts her strength tenfold!”

“But her best skills are the ones she won’t admit! She’s secretly a crazy cosplayer and wants to do things like voice act and sing! She really needs to be more open about that, but alas… the power of stagnant franchise storytelling says nooope!”

Pit tilts his head. “So she likes wearing costumes? Hey, Viridi! Do you do that?”

“What? What in Hades’ Underworldly sock drawer made you think that?” Viridi coldly asks Pit.

“W-Well… how Neptune described Noire with the whole tsundere thing kiiinda reminds me of you.” Pit explains to the Goddess of Nature.

“W-What?! Me?! That’s stupid! I hate all of you! I-It’s not like I came here to be your friends or anything…” Viridi folds her arms and turns away from everyone before muttering barely audibly.

“…b-baka…”

 

[Failinhearts]

Time to play catchup with a new Guidance to boot!

UNI: @DanJ86

Spoiler

“Every good story is a trilogy! So let’s get the last CPU Skylander out there! Shaaaal we?” Neptune nudges Palutena. “Eh? Ehhh? Gonna like, throw Uni up there?”

Palutena nods and snaps her fingers. The display changes from Noire to what looks like a smaller, younger version of her, her dress being more simple with a black and blue color scheme.

“This is Uni, the CPU candidate of Lastation.” Palutena says.

Pit hums in thinking. “So… I know what a CPU is at this point, but what’s the difference between a CPU and a CPU Candidate?”

“Simple, a Candidate is the younger sister of the CPU. They’d be the next in line to lead the nation if anything were to happen to the CPU.” Palutena tells Pit.

“That’s kiiinda why they’re called candidates, stupid.” Viridi harshly says back.

“O-Okay! Okay! Sheesh, I was just asking…” Pit rubs the back of his head.

Neptune rubs her hands as she focuses on the picture of Uni. “Okie dokie! Moving on! Uni here is Noire’s little sister! Like Lonely Heart, Uni’s quite a tsun. Unlike Noire, though, Uni’s at least more open to friendship! She can be seen with my sister Nepgear a lot!”

“Don’t let her looks fool ya, though. While Uni looks like Noire, there is something really unique about her. Unlike Noire’s uninspired sword… she uses a gun! She’s a real gun gearhead, loving the art of firearms!”

Viridi sticks her tongue out. “Ugh. Guns. So barbaric, that monkey invention. She’s already my least favorite! Humans use them to hunt and poach animals, I refuse to believe there’s a goddess who… who specializes in that!”

“You could deny all you want, but there’s no denying the truth that Uni is a skilled marksman. From bullets, to lasers, to elemental shots, Uni is arguably the most unique fighter among the CPUs for her long-range specialty.” Palutena tells Viridi.

Neptune snaps in with her own input. “Yup, yup! This does mean that Uni though is not the best for getting all up close and personal, but that’s where her friends come in and whatnot!”

“Of course, like all CPUs, Uni can… come on. You should know.” Neptune puts her hand to her ear, awaiting a response. “Student Pit, answer Professor Nep, please?”

“Oh! I know! They transform, right?” Pit asks, happily.

“Ring-a-ling, a-ling! Give the boy a prize!” Neptune cheers. “Uni can totes go HDD, where she gets a new white drill hair cut, a waaaay bigger gun and a waaaaay smaller chest!”

“…She ain’t that happy about that last part.”

“There’s a lot Uni isn’t happy about, honestly.” Palutena says before Neptune could get into… dirtier territory.  “Uni has an inferiority complex. She compares herself too much to Noire and wishes to earn her approval. While Noire certainly loves her sister, her contrary nature causes her to be more strict and distant towards Uni.”

“Doesn’t help that Uni has a sort of bad luck streak with the Skylanders. We first met this Uni when trying to stop the CPUs from fighting each other. They were under the influence of that Tsumugi chick. Baaad times.” Neptune nods, folding her arms.

“As a last resort to keep Noire in her grasp, Tsumugi controlled some spooky TV that got into Uni’s brain and had her fight us! Not a good start.”

Palutena continues from what Neptune said.  “Despite this, Uni’s doing her very best to become far more of an asset to the Skylanders than a hinderance.”

“Despite her shortcomings, Uni sounds pretty cool!” Pit smiles. “I wonder what it’s like to use that gun of her’s.”

“I’ll drop a Reset Bomb on your face if you do.” Viridi growls.

“Welp! That’s it for me, fellas! Sonic’s calling. Got Discipling to do and whatnot! Good luck trying to understand our overly complex mythos, guys!” Neptune waves goodbye as she stands up.

“Farewell, Neptune. It was an honor to have you here.” Palutena calmly waves.

“Bye! Hope to see you soon!” Pit cheerfully bids farewell.

“Good riddance.” Viridi merely scoffs as Neptune opens up a portal and falls inside of it. Once it closes, the three remaining.

“…It feels quiet, now.” Pit speaks up.

CROW: @Emperor Robrainiac

Spoiler

“Let’s go back to the dark side, shall we?” Palutena snaps her fingers before she could get a response as the next image begins to come to light.

“So, we’re covering another bad guy?” Pit asks his goddess.

Palutena points at the villain on display. A man with sharp teeth and menacing purple armor.

“What do you think, Pit?” She smirks. “Does this look like hero material to you?”

“…Fair point.” Pit bashfully laughs. “So, what do we have?”

“This man’s name is Crow. He’s… especially proud to be a villain. More so than most, honestly as he frequently gloats about how diabolical he is and he overall reputation.” Palutena introduces. “One thing he particularly likes to do is capture princesses for his evil deeds.”

Pit shakes his fist. “Oh, so he’s like Bowser? Like… Bowser before he reformed? Man, talk about cliché!”

“Perhaps, but despite his stereotypical evil mannerisms, there’s more to Crow than meets the eye. He doesn’t exactly torture or threaten to kill his princesses. Rather he’s quite empathetic to them. He actually built a friendship with them and does not want to harm them.” Palutena explains. “Just take his most frequent target, Princess Mayapple. The two built a firm friendship and helped each other out from time to time.”

“She’s quite protective of Mayapple, hearing her out whenever something distresses her… even if he won’t give the most useful of answers, and he won’t forgive anyone if she’s hurt.”

“…Huh. We just went from one dimensional baddie to empathetic, morally dark person.” Viridi states. “How… weird considering the last bad guy we talked about was all sadism all the time.”

“Still, a nice change of pace!” Pit chuckles.

“Crow has an arsenal fitting of a traditional villain. Bombs, maces, minions, boss-styled robots and even a secretary named Becky… who is arguably more cold-hearted than Crow himself!”  Palutena continues onwards. “This naturally made him a suitable candidate for LOSE, building a solid friendship with an ex-LOSE agent turned Skylander named Robrainiac.”

“However, upon seeing LOSE’s ongoing cruelty, which only escalates every day… Crow is now having second thoughts about joining this organization. For him, there’s a fine line between villainy, and insanity. Especially if this could potentially hurt Mayapple in the long run.”

“Guess it’s time for him to switch sides!” Pit smiles. “A change of heart, you know?”

“Mehhh… I don’t think Crow changing sides is possible! I mean, he still loves being a villain. He’s not giving that up for anybody. If anything he might just go back and do his own thing.” Viridi frowns, giving her own opinion.

“Only time will tell.” Palutena says. “In this multiverse controlled by so many writers, anything can happen.”

 

[Failinhearts]

New Guidances, ahoy!

KAOS:

Spoiler

The next evildoer on display appears to a small bald man in a dark robe.

“This guy doesn’t look all that scary.” Pit says. “Look at this itty bitty dude!”

“You could underestimate him, but that would result in your downfall. This is Kaos, the dark Portal Master and one of the founding members of LOSE.” Palutena says, revealing this man’s identity. “To go in-depth about who Kaos is, first we must discuss what a Portal Master is.”

The image changes to reveal a legion of greyed out humans.

“Portal Masters are the ultimate protectors of Skylands who command the original Skylanders. Most Portal Masters now come from Earth, but there are very few who still reside in Skylands. Dark Portal Masters are those who rebelled from the cause of protecting Skylands and instead wished to conquer it.”

The goddess flips her hair for a moment as she continues. “Kaos is one of those Dark Portal Masters with such aspirations. Despite his small stature and apparent… I suppose you can say incompetence in many aspects as it’s difficult to take him seriously, Kaos is still a force to be reckoned with.”

“He has control over all Elements with his powerful spellcasting, and can even summon spiritual minions to come to his aid. Most notably, his Doom Sharks.”

“Doom… Sharks?” Pit asks.

“Hah! What a ridiculous name! Next thing you tell me is that he rides around in his DOOMstation of Ultimate DOOMstruction or something stupid like that!” Viridi cackles.

“Actually, that’s a name he gives LOSE’s current headquarters, which he had a hand in creating. Although it’s more commonly known as the Sky Eater, a dangerous head-shaped machine that can consume entire worlds.” Palutena explains.

Viridi clenches her teeth. “Well then… forget I said anything.”

“Kaos also has a massive army at his disposal. Trolls, Cyclopses, Greebles and even a personal servant named Glumshanks who he mistreats… often. Most recently, Kaos collaborated with Kurokuma to engineer a new army of Monokuma units with attributes of the Arkeyans. Arkeyans were a race of robots who once ruled Skylands 10’000 years ago.”  Palutena lists out. “Aside from the Monokumas, Kaos’ army is weak on their own but mighty in numbers.”

“With those skills, though… why does Kaos keep losing to the Skylanders, Lady Palutena?” Pit asks.

“Kaos definitely has a tendency to bite off more than he can chew. This leads to numerous failures, but he never loses sight of his goal. Just when you feel like other villains have upstaged him, he somehow finds a way to come back on top to prove why he’s the Skylanders’ oldest and greatest threat.” Palutena explains. “This eventually paid off for a while as he DID manage to conquer Skylands, capture all who rebelled against them and even banished the Skylanders from their universe. Sure, that reign was eventually foiled but not many villains can claim to have completed their mission for such a long period of time.”

Pit chuckles. “Well, guess the old saying is true. Persistence IS key!”

AOI ASAHINA: @Ryannumber1gamer

Spoiler

The next Skylander to be displayed is a dark skinned girl with a white top and a red jacket.

“Who’s this girl?” Pit asks, analyzing her.

“Oh, this is Aoi Asahina.” Palutena states. “She’s another person who was once a part of Monokuma’s Killing Games. Hina’s a survivor of two of them, actually.”

“So what’s her talent? Ultimate… uh, Athlete? Ultimate… I dunno, track and field?” Viridi struggles to think of something else to suggest.

“Ultimate Swimming Pro.” Palutena corrects.

“Meh, close enough.” Viridi huffs.

Palutena giggles for a second before moving forward. “Hina is an upbeat, friendly girl. Despite this, she underwent a good deal of tragedy thanks to the actions of Junko Enoshima… arguably more than anyone among her peers.”

“She lost many close friends as both a Hope’s Peak Academy student, and an agent of the Future Foundation as she grew older.”

Pit hesitates slightly before speaking up. “Did she lose… family?”

“Yes, unfortunately.” Palutena nods. “The fate of her parents is still unclear, but one family member that has been revealed to have perished is her brother: Yuta Asahina. We’ll cover that later.”

“Gee… that really blows. Can’t believe she remains so… I dunno, happy most of the time after all that! I would’ve expected her to be more… I dunno, jaded?” Pit remarks.

Palutena hums in understanding. “It’s a testament to her strength. Don’t get me wrong, Hina has her incredibly vulnerable moments. One specific breakdown almost condemned all her friends thanks to her emotions being manipulated thanks to her grief.”

“Yeesh…” Viridi could only say.

“But she was still able to overcome them, and this results in her numerous brushes with death and her survival from them.” Palutena says. “So go figure she’d become a Skylander to prevent people from feeling the same losses she had.”

Pit rubs his hands in anticipation. “So, lay it on me? What’s her powers, huh?”

“Hina, being athletic is definitely agile. It’s only amplified with newfound powers being super speed and even water manipulation. So you can say… the whole world is her swimming pool.” Palutena begins to list. “And thanks to confronting her own darker thoughts manifested as her own Shadow, she can summon her own Persona that’s the manifestation of her numerous losses.”

“Well, this is definitely more than what I would expect from a chick who swims.” Viridi responds.

 

[Failinhearts]

New Palutena's Guidances!

MADOKA KANAME:

Spoiler

The next Skylander is a girl with pink cotton candy hair, styled in pigtails thanks to the help of dark pink ribbons. She wears a frilly pink dress with a wooden bow.

“Hm. This girl looks like she came from where Sayaka came from…” Pit assumes.

“Correct, Pit! This is Madoka Kaname, one of Sayaka’s childhood friends.” Palutena introduces. “As a 14 year old middle school student, Madoka seemed like your perfectly ordinary schoolgirl… and that she was. She didn’t see herself as anything special until she was approached by an alien named Kyubey to become a Magical Girl.”

“The soul stealing thing, right?” Viridi asks.

Palutena nods.

“Yes. Now… this is where it gets complicated. There are multiple timelines made involving Madoka, where her wish differs as new timelines get created. Sometimes she made it to save a cat, or to revive a close friend. But it all leads to the same outcome.”

Pit can already tell where this was going. “Death, right? Death and turning into a Witch?”

“Indeed. We’ll get into who’s been creating these timelines next, but as timelines continue to be made, Madoka’s magical potential as well as her more timid nature began to grow. That is until the final timeline, where she made the ultimate wish: To eliminate all Witches.” Palutena says. “This established a new world order, where Madoka’s existence ceased to be… now existing as a concept. A goddess.”

“O-Oh! So she’s a goddess like you?” Pit asks.

“Yes. She takes Magical Girls who are on the brink of corruption and takes their souls to a peaceful afterlife. The Law of Cycles. This is what happened to Sayaka and how she got swept away and became a Disciple later on.” Palutena says. “But she can no longer interact with the mortal realm. Nobody but her friend Homura remembered her. She’s… alone, really. Only the deceased can accompany her.”

“But family, friends, those who never contracted? She can never speak to them again.”

Viridi exhales. “That’s the thing about mortals becoming gods. Ain’t always what it’s cracked up to be. Gotta sacrifice a looot.”

“It honestly fills Madoka with regret sometimes.” Palutena adds before hearing Pit cut in.

“Hang on, hang on… if she can’t interact with mortals, how is she a Skylander?” The angel asks, rightfully confused.

“This is where we get into the Disciple stuff. Once Sayaka joined the war, the Metarex looked into harnessing the limitless potential of the Law of Cycles, studying ways to draw from the source. Using Homura, they were able to physically drag Madoka from that realm and strip her of her godly powers. This made her a mere Magical Girl once more.” Palutena explains further. “Determined to get her power back from the enemy, she joined Sonic, Sayaka and the other Disciples in the battle against the Metarex.”

“Thing is, though… would she even want to go back? Honestly, I don’t think so. But she feels like she should, that’s how selfless she is.”

Pit folds his arms, letting all this information sink in. “I-It’s noble, that’s for sure. So, how does she fight?”

“Madoka is a powerful archer, able to cast magical arrows of light. She’s acrobatic, agile and capable of covering a ton of ground with her ranged attacks.” Palutena lists. “But her only weakness is that unlike Sayaka, Madoka’s soul is still in her Soul Gem. One fatal blow to the shell and she’ll drop dead. It can still corrupt and become a Witch as well, so she needs Grief Seeds on hand, just in case.”

“Madoka’s most powerful aspect, though? Her never-ending compassion.”

“Blech! That’s so cheesy!” Viridi gags.

PIT?! (APRIL FOOLS 2019):

Spoiler

“…Lady Palutena…? Viridi…?”

Pit stands in his goddess’ room, alone. He knows the rules, he can’t just barge into her room without her permission.

But who’s permission can he gain? Palutena isn’t responding to Pit’s calls, and neither is the goddess of nature.

He even asked Dark Pit about where they went, only to be met by the response of “don’t know, don’t care”.

“Are we… going over more Skylanders today? Anyone?”

Pit comes to the conclusion that maybe they’re on a brief break. Or maybe something urgent came up and he would have to wait.

“Yeah, yeah. They’ll come.” He assures himself, crashing onto his usual seat on the couch, staring at the large, metallic floating orb which would display their new subject to study.

The angel eyes the texture, imagining images of his own playing to relieve his boredom. He sings to himself, drumming his fingers on his legs.

“Colors weave into a spire of flame…”

As he sings, he resumes staring at the orb, letting his imagination do his thing. Then, he speaks out.

“Hey, it’s me up there, Lady Palutena!”

“Yes, Pit. It’s you. For your years of service, allow me to do a Guidance on you for once.”

“You’d really do that for me? Oh, thank you Lady Palutena! You’re the best goddess an angel could ever ask for!”

“Pit is a brave, heroic and skilled angel and captain of my guard. A talented marksman who has fought along the likes of Mario, Link, Sonic and many others. Not to mention the bane of Medusa, and Hades who fear his name!”

“Lady Palutena…”

“One day, I’ll grant him the ability to fly on his own! His heroics spreading to the far reaches of the multiverse, and will definitely impress Princess Zelda!”

“Ahh… Princess Zel-“

Pit’s fantasies gets cut off, however, when the sound of clicking can be heard. This startles him immensely.

“A-Ah…!”

“Oh yeah, putting this crap on SkyTube!” Dark Pit chuckles, coming out of the closet. Following him is Palutena and Viridi. The blonde haired, smaller goddess slow claps.

“Told ya he’d do something stupid alone!” Viridi cackles.

“L-Lady Palutena?!” Pit chokes out.

Palutena twiddles with her fingers. “April Fools, Pit. Just wanted to have a little fun. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure this won’t go public.”

“I-I didn’t mean what I said! I was just playing around, is all! U-Um! April Fools right back?” Pit desperately babbles in defense of himself.

“Yeah, suuuuure…” Viridi wags her fingers.

Palutena gently sits back down on her couch, snapping her fingers as the orb begins to glow. “Okay, knock it off everyone.”

“…Shall we continue?”

HOMURA AKEMI:

Spoiler

The next Skylander, as promised by Palutena is a young girl with purple eyes and long black hair.

“So… she looks like another Magical Girl!” Pit says.

“Correct, Pit. This is Homura Akemi.” Palutena replies.

Pit snaps his fingers. “Oh! She’s friends with Madoka, right?”

“…That’s an understatement.” Viridi chuckles. “Homura is like, super friggin’ obsessed with Madoka.”

Palutena nods as she prepares her explaination.

“Homura once upon a time was a hospitalized orphan with bad vision, heart problems and a shy demeanor. She found no worth in her life at all, but things changed when she transferred to Mitakihara Middle School and met Madoka Kaname.” She says. “She was confident, friendly and saved her life from a Witch attack, exposing Homura into the world of Magical Girls.”

“Unfortunately, Madoka died at the hands of the powerful Witch Walpurgisnacht. So Homura made her wish and became a Magical Girl to save Madoka by looping time.”

Viridi twirls her finger. “And over. And over. And over. And over.”

“And as a bonus, the more she loops, the more the roles change. Homura becomes more jaded and confident, and the more shy and less outgoing Madoka becomes.”

“Homura abandoned her glasses and adopted a new personality. One of a cold, aloof person who trusted nobody. Justice means nothing, friends mean nothing, all that matters is Madoka Kaname’s safety.” Palutena continues. “And in the end, Homura in her eyes failed when Madoka became a goddess and was forced to live in this new universe with no way to change it.”

The room goes silent for a moment.

“…And?” Pit asks.

“Well, this is where continuity kind of splits. But we’ll go with the most relevant part first since both kind of merge together.” Palutena says. “One day, Homura came under attack by Metarex, who sought to look for Madoka’s power. Using Homura’s love for Madoka, the Metarex were able to use her Soul Gem to drag Madoka from the Law of Cycles and absorb her power.”

“…How can love do that?” Pit asks.

“Pit. It’s a Magical Girl series.” Viridi responds. “No matter how messed up you get, there’s one constant… love does whatever the writer wants it to do.”

“And in this case, in this other universe, Homura was able to use Madoka’s power thanks to her love to rewrite the universe in HER image to have Madoka live a normal human life under her moderation.” Palutena says.

“So… she’s a demon somewhere?” Pit asks. “Do I have to beat her up?!”

“Maybe someday. Depends on if she pulls something destructive in the future. But that Homura is not our focus.” Palutena tells him. “The Homura who fell victim of the Metarex were saved by Sayaka and the Disciples.”

“And for the sake of making Madoka happy, Homura joined the Disciples and eventually the Skylanders. However she doesn’t share their motivation. She’s not exactly passionate about saving worlds, as she believes these ideals of helping people will eventually dissolve thanks to the harsh reality of things.”

Pit winces. “Wow. Talk about a buzzkill.”

Palutena nods. “Not to mention that when exposed to the fact that she’s fictional, she hates the Writers for making her suffer. The only reason she’s not even with the Metarex who hate them too is because of Madoka.”

“…Although, there is something Homura is suppressing really hard. That past part of her exists. She still hates herself, she still sees herself as weak, a failure. But what also exists somewhere in that cold heart of hers is a desire TO save people. To save a hero. It’s just that she’s unsure of this is how the world truly works. Should she believe what she saw then… or what she sees now?”

Pit hums to himself, thinking. “Well, I think she should know that like, a balance exists. You know? Not everything’s super happy, but not everything is super negative either.”

“Meh, good try at sounding smart. But not enough.” Viridi spits back. “Let’s just get to her powers already.”

“Yes. Homura’s trademark weapon is her subspace shield. It’s not just for defense, but for offense and even storage. It can block powerful attacks, reflect projectiles, and has a limitless supply of weapons inside it.” Palutena lists. “And the weapons Homura use is military grade guns, bombs and all sorts of Disciple-brand technology. However she still sticks to the standard equipment as that’s what she’s most comfortable with.”

Pit raises his hand eagerly. “Oh! Oh! How about those time powers? She can like go back and stuff, right?”

Palutena runs her hands through her hair. “Well, she used to. Because of her travels across multiverses gives Homura her own internal time stream, she can no longer manipulate it. She can’t freeze time or loop it. However in exchange, Tails equipped new tech in the shield.”

“The shield’s rims can sprout spikes and can act as an arm-mounted sawblade. She can also throw the shield like Captain America. She was even taught by him to throw it like an expert.  Additionally, Homura can download special buffs called Nexo Powers, making her one of the more versatile Skylanders out there.”

“Certainly makes for a great hero!” Pit smiles. “If only Homura was that passionate about it… She would be pretty great.”

“Well, don’t lose hope. You’ll never know.” Palutena says.

“…Still doubt it.” Viridi shrugs.

 

[Failinhearts]

They're back, and ready to tackle the biggest subject yet!

...Spirit Bikes.

MAKOTO NIJIMA: @Ryannumber1gamer

Spoiler

“Who’s this person, Lady Palutena?” Pit asks, looking at the next Skylander.

This girl seems relatively normal. Brown hair, red eyes, a pretty standard outfit not unlike a school uniform. Definitely not the most capable of battle at first glance.

...But Pit knows at this point, there’s always more than meets the eye with these people.

“This is Makoto Nijima. Student Council President of Shujin Academy.” Palutena reveals.

Viridi could only scoff at that introduction. “Hah! What would she do to the bad guys? Lecture them to death?”

“Waiiit a minute.” Pit squints his eyes. “I think I’ve seen her someplace before…”

“A sharp eye, Pit. Makoto is actually one of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts.” Palutena says confirming Pit’s suspicions.

Viridi’s eyes widen. “Wait, she’s one of Joker’s friends?! That means we saw her in like, that Mementos place, yeah? She looks so… different!”

The image shifts to Makoto’s Phantom Thief attire, with her bearing a motorcycle suit with a lot of spikes.

“Yeah! Yeah! That’s more like it!” Viridi affirms.

Palutena continues.

“Makoto may look like your average, very diligent student… and to be fair, she is. But as a Phantom Thief, she’s been able to embrace another side of herself. She bears a very strong sense of justice, and a temper behind that mild mannered demeanor.”

Pit raises his hand in curiosity. “Oh! Oh! Lady Palutena! Does this mean she has one of those Persona things too?”

“Correct, Pit. Makoto’s Persona is among one of the most unique I’ve seen. Its name is Johanna.” Palutena says.

Pit rubs his hands. “Ooh! I bet it’s a super cool monster, or maybe a giant lady considering the name! Or…”

Pit’s droning thoughts get cut short however as the image morphs to reveal the Persona: A blue, glowing… motorbike.

“…A… motorcycle?” Pit and Viridi asks in unison, wrapping their head around this concept.

“Yes. A motorcycle.” Palutena replies.

Pit and Viridi stay silent for a moment, staring at each other before starting to share their own speculation.

“So… does it need gas to run?” Pit asks.

“If it pops a tire, does Makoto need to make a new one?” Viridi ponders.

The two continue to go back and forth.

“Does Makoto make them with her mind?”

“Can other people ride it? Like Wario?”

“If Kirby sucks it up, does it make him wheel Kirby?”

“No, Pit… If Kirby sucks it up, since the Persona is just your other self, it would turn him into Makoto Kirby, right?”

“Can an Autobot scan it and turn into that thing?”

“If it breaks down, do you need to repair it by going to a mechanic, or a psychiatrist?”

“Can you interchange parts?”

“Can it be used in Mario Kart?”

“How would it feel like riding something that’s supposed to be you?”

“What kind of engine does it have?”

Palutena shakes her head. “I have a lot of questions to answer…”

She stays still for a moment before saying something else…

“…Does it have Winter Tires when it gets cold outside?”

 

[Failinhearts]

Things have been busy, but I've been getting to them whenever I can!

MAYA FEY: @Jovahexeon Ogilvie Maurice

Spoiler

“So, Lady Palutena… it’s been a while. What Skylander are we looking at?” Pit asks, putting away a plate containing his breakfast.

Palutena daintily puts away her adorned eating utensils before focusing on the task at hand.

“Well, Pit. I decided we can do this one, today.”

“Did we have to do this so early in the morning?” Viridi rubs her eyes before taking a bite out of a grape vine she conjured. “A goddess needs her beauty rest, you know.”

“You could’ve just not come, Viridi. Nobody said your appearance was mandatory.” Palutena shakes her head.

Viridi rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. It’s just that it’s not really that entertaining around here without you guys bickering for my amusement.”

“Aww, you could’ve just said you’re lonely!” Pit smiles.

“I’m not lonely! I’m totally the opposite of lonely! I’m just bored, okay? Geez!” Viridi barks.

Palutena claps her hands. “Now, now. This is no place for screaming at each other. Save that for the battlefield.”

With that, Palutena snaps her fingers to reveal the image of the next Skylander. A girl in purple robes.

“Hey, this person looks… sorta familiar! Back in that time we talked about that Phoenix guy! She seems to be by his side!” Pit points out. “Her name is… uhhh…”

“We never said her name before, Pitstain.” Viridi replies.

“I-I know that! I just wanted to see how close I can get!” Pit exclaims. “She… looks like a Mary! Mary Fairy!”

Palutena holds back some laughter. “I wouldn’t know about her being a fairy, but the name is similar. Maya Fey.”

Pit raises his fist in the air.

“Allllright! Take that, Viridi!”

“Lucky guess.” Viridi groans. “Alright, what’s her deal?”

“Maya is the cheery companion to Phoenix Wright, determined to get to the bottom of any of his cases with him. There isn’t much worth talking about aside from her without going into specifics…” Palutena explains. “…Except one little thing.”

“And what is that little thing?” Pit asks.

“Her power. The Fey family has a special ability to, how do I put it…? Channel the dead?” Palutena replies.

“…What?” Viridi asks. “Well, that sort of undead hocus pocus has no place in my garden.”

“Maybe. But yes, Maya is a Spirit Medium, which allows the souls of the dead to literally possess her for a brief amount of time.” Palutena continues.

Pit’s eyes widen, as if his own worldview has turned upside down. “Whooooa! That’s so cool! You can gain testimonies of someone’s murder… from the deceased themselves, right?!  That’s like… cheating! But a good cheating, since you can find the truth easier, you know?”

“This channeling goes beyond the spiritual plane. Maya’s physical appearance even changes to match the body of the spirit. She can turn older, change genders, whatever it takes to ensure the spirit takes control of her.” Palutena says. “However she has no outside input afterwards, whatever is done at that point is the spirit’s choice as Maya herself would be unconscious for the duration of the possession.”

“Man, I bet she would be super useful during the Galleem attack. We’d have our own puppet fighter!” Pit smiles, still at awe.