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[Fanfiction] The No Way Gang - in which Eggman becomes Sonic's new neighbor


WanderingBleats

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Hey! I'm starting a new comedy series, The No Way Gang, and have just finished my first chapter!

Eggman has declared his intention to retire, and has decided that he is going to set his roots down in Emerald Town. Sonic doesn't trust him, but Tails isn't quite so sure. And Knuckles is making a move to find a way to take a break from guarding the Master Emerald. The four of them will find their destinies intertwining, as they come together to form a gang that will make everyone-- especially Sonic-- shout "No Way!"

Chapter 1 is here, in this post! Also, I'm going to post each scene in its own spoiler tag, because I feel like it'll be more manageable to read that way. It's a bit long. It may be easier to read it in smaller chunks like that.

For a more organized way to read, the AO3 link is here! It also has a more detailed summary and some additional notes.

All right, starting now!

SCENE 1

Spoiler

==SCENE 1 - EMERALD TOWN EXT.==
This is Emerald Town. It's the town where Sonic's friends, and sometimes Sonic himself, live. It is a beautiful tropical seaside town at the edge of the Green Hill Zone, where strange geometric palm trees and flowers lie nestled amongst checkered hills and grass. A calm sea breeze drifts through the town.

 

Today, Sonic is taking a break from his adventures. Outside his house, he naps peacefully in a hammock as the breaking dawn's sun shines down on him. All is peaceful...

 

...until the peace is interrupted by the banging of a hammer.

 

Sonic's ear twitches in irritation, and his smile falters a little. He turns over and tries to ignore the sound.

 

But still it persists. Sonic's irritation grows. He covers his ears...

 

...

 

And then, the sound of an enormous explosion jolts him awake! He spins involuntarily and falls out of his hammock, one leg still tangled up.

 

SONIC: What the...?!

 

*Sonic tries to leap to his feet, but with his leg tangled up, he only succeeds in slamming himself against the ground. His anger mounting, Sonic goes into a stationary spindash, shredding the hammock to pieces. He begins to storm off in the direction of the explosion.*

 

SONIC: Tails!! Are you the one making all that noise?! If you blew yourself up, I'll never forgive you! ...And if you are still alive, SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!

 

*As Sonic manages to get his feet under him, he picks up speed, dashing through the town at his trademark Sonic speeds. He screeches to a halt as he approaches what appears to be a construction site... and sees a familiar egg-shaped figure hunched over a wooden frame, hammering away.*

 

SONIC: Eggman!

 

*Eggman's mustache twitches at the sound of his name. He stands up slowly, and dramatically turns to face Sonic. The drama is somewhat dampened by the bright orange construction hat, vest, and oversized toolbelt he's wearing over his normal costume.*

 

EGGMAN: Well, if it isn't Sonic! How nice of you to drop by! HA HA HA HA HA!

 

SONIC: (clenching his fist) So, think you can just waltz right in and start making trouble in my own backyard? You've got a lot of nerve! But if that's how you wanna play it, then I'm ready to kick some egg!

 

EGGMAN: My dear Sonic, what on Earth are you talking about? I've done nothing wrong!

 

SONIC: There are about a thousand things wrong with that statement, but I'll start with the most obvious one-- You literally JUST set off a bomb in Emerald Town!

 

EGGMAN: What?! No I didn't!

 

*Eggman looks over at a still-smoking crater in the construction site.*

 

EGGMAN: ...Okay, well, I DID, but that's beside the point. I had a very good reason to set off the bomb!

 

SONIC: Which was?

 

EGGMAN: I wanted to destroy some things that were in my way!

 

SONIC: ... (grinds his fist into an open palm) All right, so you wanna be scrambled or poached?

 

EGGMAN: (genuinely confused) What would "poached" even mean in this context?

 

*Tails walks up to the construction site, wearing pajamas and a night cap. He rubs his eyes.*

 

TAILS: Sonic...? What's going on?

 

*Sonic's ears perk up as he hears Tails' voice. He immediately forgets about Eggman, and rushes over to Tails, pulling him close in a big hug. Tails blinks in surprise and confusion.*

 

SONIC: Tails! You're all right! I can't believe you survived that! Please, please never worry me like that again...

 

TAILS: Huh...?

 

SONIC: ...Oh right, the thing about you getting caught in an explosion was something I totally made up. (stands up and brushes himself off) Ahem. Morning, buddy! Good to see you!

 

TAILS: Morning, Sonic. (yawns) Morning, Eggman.

 

EGGMAN: Good morning, Tails!

 

*Tails nods, smiling sleepily. As he slowly realizes what he's looking at, his smile becomes a look of confusion.*

 

TAILS: Umm... Are you invading Emerald Town?

 

EGGMAN: Well, I GUESS you could say that, but...

 

TAILS: And are we fighting?

 

EGGMAN: No! / SONIC: Yes!

 

EGGMAN: Sonic, you irritating pest, if you'd just let me explain...!

 

SONIC: You attacked my town! No explanation you could give me is gonna cut it!

 

EGGMAN: I'm trying to tell you, I'm NOT here to attack! I'm not here to take over or destroy the town! I'm not even here to enslave you or your friends, or stuff you into far cooler robot versions of yourselves! I'm here...

 

*Eggman crosses his arms and takes a long, dramatic pause. It goes on a little too long. Sonic and Tails glance at each other. Tails opens his mouth to ask a question, but Eggman interrupts.*

 

EGGMAN: ...to retire!

SCENE 2

Spoiler

 

==SCENE 2 - HOLY SUMMIT, NEAR THE MASTER EMERALD SHRINE==

 

Meanwhile, on Angel Island, which floats high in the sky many miles away from Emerald Town, the dawn's light has not yet reached the island. In the dusky pre-dawn, the guardian of the island and its secrets, Knuckles the Echidna, sits outside an ancient and beautiful stone temple, in which is enshrined the most powerful of magical gemstones... the Master Emerald. He stares up at the purple sky, slowly growing orange, and watches the clouds drift by.

 

KNUCKLES: I thought it would be okay for me to stay on this island forever, performing the sacred duty that had been left to me by my ancestors. To defend the Master Emerald from those who would abuse its power. To keep this island as a silent sanctuary, free from the troubles of the world below. To ensure the mistakes of my tribe would never be repeated.

 

*Knuckles picks up a handful of silt. He wants to let it slip through his fingers dramatically, but his gloves do not have fingers and look like gigantic mittens. He decides to instead turn his hand and let the silt fall to the ground.*

 

KNUCKLES: ...And yet... Was I wrong? What good has my guardianship really done? I've repeatedly failed to protect the Master Emerald. I can't leave this island without constant anxiety about the villains who would come to steal it. Especially the bat-shaped ones. And...

 

*Knuckles clenches his fist and pounds it against the ground.*

 

KNUCKLES: ...ever since I met Sonic and Tails, and even Dr. Eggman... an uncomfortable feeling has started to take root in my heart. A feeling I just can't name. Is it wanderlust? The desire to see more of what this world has to offer? Regret? Or maybe even...

 

*Knuckles spies his own reflection in the metallic base of one of the pillars.*

 

KNUCKLES: ...loneliness...?

 

*Knuckles lies on his back, staring up at the sky.*

 

KNUCKLES: And what if I misinterpreted the ancient writings? It wouldn't be the first time... The "egg of the dragon" wasn't what I thought it was. What if the true threat of the Master Emerald was Chaos itself? What if that threat has been neutralized? And even if not, what if I'm not really the right person for this job?... what am I still doing here...?

 

*A long pause. The last bits of purple are almost gone from the sky as day begins to break.*

 

KNUCKLES: ...Am I wasting my life? I just... want to get away.

 

???: Maybe I can help with that.

 

*Knuckles sits bolt upright, startled. He sees the silhouette of a very Eggman-shaped person, but all details are obscured by the sun casting harsh shadows on the figure.*

 

KNUCKLES: Oh! Hey there, strangely attractive stranger! Did you, uh, hear me monologuing to myself just now?

 

???: No, of course not. You do not have to worry that anyone else has heard your highly embarrassing moping. But I do have a proposal for you, Knuckles the Echidna...

 

KNUCKLES: A- a proposal?

 

???: Yes. A way to grant you your freedom, while still ensuring the safety of the Master Emerald.

 

KNUCKLES: (disappointed) Oh... (perking up again) Well, that's good too!

 

???: I am a specialty supplier of highly advanced, highly lethal home defense robots. For a reasonable rate of 500 Rings per month, my robots can guard your Master Emerald for you, for as long as need be. You could leave this island, secure in the knowledge that the Master Emerald will be safe.

 

KNUCKLES: ...Uh huh. And these robots of yours. What's to stop them from carting off the Master Emerald the second I step off the island?

 

*The mysterious figure tosses a tablet-like device at Knuckles. Knuckles picks it up and looks at it curiously.*

 

???: I can set up a camera system with a live feed of the shrine. It will alert you if anything should go wrong, and you can look at it whenever you wish to ensure the Master Emerald is unharmed. Of course, you will be free to inspect the system to your liking before leaving.

 

KNUCKLES: I don't know...

 

???: My robots are specially designed to repel bats.

 

KNUCKLES: Oh, in that case. Sold! All right, let's get this thing set up! Vacation, here I come!

SCENE 3

Spoiler

 

==SCENE 3 - EMERALD TOWN, OUTSIDE THE CONSTRUCTION SITE==

 

*Tails has a look of shock on his face, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. Sonic stares at Eggman, his eyes half-lidded. He does not look amused.*

 

SONIC: Retire. Really?

 

EGGMAN: Yes! I, Dr. Ivo Robotink, scientist extraordinaire, hereby renounce my evil ways and retire from my position as head of the Eggman Empire. Henceforth, I will refrain from any further attempts at world domination!

 

TAILS: Sonic, this is great! We won't have to fight Eggman every other week anymore! We'll finally be free to pursue our dreams without constantly being interrupted by robot invasions, missile attacks, and ancient unleashed gods!

 

SONIC: Uh huh. And I should believe you WHY, Eggman?

 

EGGMAN: I promise I'm telling the truth! (holds up his hand) Cross my fingers and hope to die!

 

SONIC: "Crossing your fingers" means you're lying.

 

*Eggman looks down at his hand, with his fingers still crossed. He shakes his hand out before putting it in a pocket.*

 

EGGMAN: I'm just not used to your bizarre customs like "promises" and "not lying." You'll have to forgive me. This will take some time to acclimate to.

 

SONIC: You really expect me to believe you're giving up on your lifelong dream of establishing your techno-nightmare empire?

 

EGGMAN: Yes. Sonic, listen to me. I've been fighting you and Tails for decades...

 

TAILS: (whispering to Sonic) Um... is that true?

 

*Sonic starts counting on his fingers.*

 

SONIC: 1991, 1992, 1993... ... I guess?

 

TAILS: (excitedly throws his arms up in the air) YES! I can finally throw away my fake ID!

 

EGGMAN: It's hard work, Sonic. Hard, thankless work. One cold and lonely night, as I sat sipping my egg nog, I thought to myself, "Well, Ivo, old bean, what now? What is the ultimate plan that can destroy Sonic and leave the world wide open for you to conquer?" And as I thought about it, I realized there was nothing left. No stone I've left unturned. No ingenious scheme I've yet to try. You've won, Sonic, as much as I hate to say it. I simply can't think of anything else.

 

SONIC: Heh. Maybe you're just in a slump?

 

EGGMAN: I thought about that. And maybe it's true. But really, even if it is... I've done some soul searching, you see. Maybe I'm just wasting my time. Maybe I can achieve my goals in some other way. A better way. Some... ANTI-destructive way?

 

SONIC: "Constructive." The word you're looking for is "constructive."

 

EGGMAN: That thing. Because at the end of the day... I'm getting tired of the business! The hours are long! The pay is too low! The hazards are too great! There aren't enough lunch breaks, or nap times! And worst of all, ALL OF MY CO-WORKERS ARE IDIOTS!

 

TAILS: Hey!

 

EGGMAN: Oh, sorry. All of my co-workers except young Miles here are idiots.

 

*Tails beams happily at Eggman's compliment.*

 

SONIC: Hey! ...Wait, no. Eggman, the heroes trying to stop you aren't your co-workers!

 

EGGMAN: Anyway, that's it. I'm tired of this stupid game, and I never win. So I'm going to stop playing.

 

SONIC: Okay, let's say I believed that you really wanted to retire-- which I don't. You still can't just say "eh, I'm quitting" and expect all to be forgiven! That's not how it works!

 

*There's a long pause, as Eggman and Sonic glare at each other. Tails looks uncomfortable. He swishes his tails as he glances around.*

 

TAILS: Um, Eggman? So what's with this construction site?

 

EGGMAN: Oh, that. I decided I'm moving to Emerald Town for my retirement!

 

SONIC: WHAT?!

 

EGGMAN: It's a beautiful place! A nice, quiet community, with such a short walk to the beach. The cost of land is surprisingly low, if you apply the right pressure in the right places. And besides, my friends live here!

 

SONIC: We're not friends, Eggman!

 

EGGMAN: We won't be much longer if you keep up that attitude.

 

TAILS: (concerned) Didn't this area used to be a playground yesterday?

 

SONIC: (glaring) Eggman...

 

EGGMAN: What? It was the best place to build!

 

TAILS: Oh no... Eggman, you can't just do that! Where are all the Pockies and Rickies going to play now?

 

EGGMAN: They can play in the street! (Eggman points at himself with his thumb) That's what I did when I was a kid! It gave me character! And a big red nose!

 

SONIC: Right, I've had about enough of this. I think it's time I start tearing down this wreck-in-progress.

 

*Sonic starts to rev up a spindash, aiming right for the foundation of the construction project.*

 

EGGMAN: And I think it's about time you stop interfering with my work! BADNIKS!

 

*As Sonic releases his spindash and bursts forward to bring the house down, there's a rush of movement as several metallic figures scramble out from various nooks and crannies. Sonic strikes into something with great force, and is repelled with a metallic "Ping!" sound. As he is flung into the opposite direction, he rolls to a stop, sprawling out on his back-- but not for long. He manages to do a backflip from this position almost immediately, landing on his feet.*

 

SONIC: What the...?!

 

*Sonic looks to see what he struck, and sees a heavily armored insectoid robot wielding a gigantic pinball bumper as a shield. There are at least a dozen of them all around the base of the building.*

 

SONIC: Crawls defending the foundation...

 

*Sonic looks up, and sees the air full of orb robots with spiked balls rotating around them.*

 

SONIC: Orbinauts defending the upper frame...

 

*Sonic glances about, and sees a single, awkward-looking crab robot scuttling about.*

 

SONIC: And Crabmeat... uh, Crabmeat... ...Okay, I'm stumped. What's the Crabmeat for?

 

*The Crabmeat scuttles up to Sonic, waving a piece of paper in its claw. Sonic snatches it impatiently.*

 

SONIC: Give me that...

 

*The paper is covered in incredibly dense legalese. He tries to read it for a few seconds, before giving up and handing it to Tails. Eggman snickers, and Sonic glares at him.*

 

*Tails reads through the paper quickly, his eyes darting back and forth across the page.*

 

TAILS: It's... it's a land title deed. It gives Eggman permission to build a house within the city limits of Emerald Town... ...And it's signed by the mayor.

 

EGGMAN: Bingo, fox boy. So you see, Sonic, my project here is perfectly legal! Meaning if you damage any of my property here, YOU'LL be the one committing a crime!

 

SONIC: Are you serious?! You probably have more warrants out for your arrest than literally anyone else on the planet!

 

EGGMAN: And yet, that does not entitle you to commit a crime against me. Face it, hedgehog! I've got you beat!

 

SONIC: You think I care? I'll just destroy all your Badniks AND the construction project before it gets off the ground.

 

*Sonic raises his arm as though he's getting ready to fight, but Tails rushes up to him and grabs his arm.*

 

TAILS: Sonic, please, stop! I don't want you to get arrested again!

 

SONIC: I'm not scared of any cops!

 

TAILS: Okay, sure, but the last time I busted you out of prison, *I* became a registered felon. Do you have any idea how hard it was to get that expunged? I finally have a permanent residence again! Please, Sonic...

 

*Sonic glares at Tails for a moment. But as he stares at the fox boy's pleading face, his expression softens. He sighs and puts his arm down.*

 

SONIC: ...This isn't over, Eggman.

 

*Sonic turns and dashes away from the construction site, as Eggman grins wickedly.*

 

EGGMAN: Indeed not, Sonic the Hedgehog. I'll see you again soon... Very, very soon! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

*Tails looks up at Eggman questioningly. Eggman looks down at him.*

 

EGGMAN: ...Because we're going to be neighbors, of course.

 

*Nodding slowly, Tails twirls his tails and begins to fly, taking off after Sonic. Eggman's laughter echoes through the town as Tails leaves. Various animal people and humans alike walk down the street by the construction site, sipping coffee and barely paying any heed to the mad scientist's cackling. They are used to this kind of thing.*

SCENE 4

Spoiler

 

==SCENE 4 - EMERALD TOWN, MAIN STREET==

 

*Sonic dashes through the main street of Emerald Town. This area is more urban-- slightly-- than the neighborhood where Sonic and Tails' houses are. The road is bizarrely designed, going into loop-de-loops and requiring bouncing on springs to get through it. It is unclear how cars make their way through.*

 

*Tails arrives, flying after Sonic. He hangs back slightly behind him, but keeps pace with him.*

 

TAILS: Sonic, where are you going?

 

SONIC: I'm going to see that mayor about this, and put a stop- to this plot- of land- falling into the hands- of a madman!

 

*Tails bobs his head to the cadence of Sonic's words until he's done talking.*

 

TAILS: Are you sure you're up to that? You're not exactly the most, um... diplomatic person.

 

SONIC: You're welcome to come along, Mr. Genius. (Sonic skids to a halt and turns to Tails.) But don't you think you should be dressed a little more appropriately first if YOU'RE gonna play the big shot ambassador?

 

*Tails blinks and looks down at himself. He realizes he's still wearing his pajamas and night cap.*

 

TAILS: Oh, you're right.

 

*Tails pulls off his night cap and pajamas and tosses them by the side of the road. He does not put anything new on.*

 

TAILS: Better?

 

SONIC: Much. Come on, let's go.

 

*Sonic begins running again, and Tails resumes flying after him.*

 

TAILS: ...You know an ambassador is a dignitary of another country, right? That's not what I am. We're gonna be acting more like... Something like an appellant maybe...?

 

SONIC: Whatever.

 

*Tails flies in silence for a while, but he looks troubled.*

 

TAILS: Sonic, hey... Why are you so upset about this? I thought you wanted Eggman to reform.

 

SONIC: Oh, come on, Tails. He's not really reforming. He's probably just setting up a base so he can build some kind of giant deathbot under the town.

 

TAILS: Sure, probably, but... We'll be able to beat down anything he tries to pull. It's no big deal. So what if he really DOES want to quit?

 

SONIC: He doesn't.

 

TAILS: But if...?

 

SONIC: IF he wants to quit, he's going about it all wrong. There's supposed to be, y'know, some kind of big dramatic moment where he decides enough is enough! Like, he springs into battle to protect us against some even worse villain, and decides THIS is the moment he's not gonna turn back from! Or he realizes the toll his schemes are taking on the Earth, and vows to go on a quest of redemption! He's not supposed to just go "I'm done, who wants hot chocolate and group hugs? Ho ho ho ho!"

 

*Tails looks at Sonic. He seems unconvinced. He studies Sonic's face carefully. Then, he gasps.*

 

TAILS: Wait a minute... You're not worried he's lying. You're worried he's serious!

 

SONIC: What? No.

 

TAILS: You are! Sonic, I can read you like an open book!

 

*Sonic slows down, coming to a stop again. He stares at Tails, who remains hovering in the air.*

 

TAILS: I can see it in your face. You're actually HOPING this is a ruse. Because... ...Because you really like fighting Eggman, don't you? You don't want it to stop. It's too fun.

 

*Sonic's face scrunches up in a difficult to read emotion. Is it anger? Indignation? Guilt? Tails lands next to him and puts a hand on his shoulder.*

 

TAILS: Sonic, I'm not mad at you, even if that is the reason. But...

 

*Tails pauses, choosing his next words carefully. Sonic averts his eyes as he does.*

 

TAILS: ...but if you're not honest about WHY you're doing something, then how do you expect to get what you really want? And if you don't LIKE what you really want, you can't change that by ignoring it. You've gotta face it head on. And I know you can... Because that's what you do with everything else.

 

SONIC: Listen to you, lecturing me...

 

*Sonic brushes Tails' hand off his shoulder, but he looks at him with a smile.*

 

SONIC: You've really grown up, kid.

 

*Tails rubs his nose proudly, a gesture he's seen Sonic do many times.*

 

TAILS: Thanks. I'm decades old now apparently, if Eggman's timeline is accurate!

 

SONIC: Okay, Tails. Maybe you're right. I don't wanna stop fighting that old egghead. It really is a blast. But...

 

*Sonic begins running in place, getting ready to burst off with his Super Peel-Out maneuver. Tails starts flying, and the two burst off together, continuing down the road.*

 

SONIC: It's still the right thing to do to try to stop this thing! So to keep Emerald Town safe from danger... THAT'S the reason I'm gonna do this!

 

TAILS: Yeah!

 

*The two of them arrive at City Hall, blasting past a signpost with the gubernatorial symbol on it. Sonic spins the sign around as he passes it by, and it twirls until it lands with his own face on it instead.*

SCENE 5

Spoiler

 

==SCENE 5 - EMERALD TOWN CITY HALL INT., MAYOR'S OFFICE==

 

The mayor's office, inside of City Hall, is an ostentatious room with beautiful black and blue furnishings. It is lit moodily, and all the objects cast long shadows. The mayor's chair is turned around, facing the window. A cup of coffee sits on his desk, steam still wafting up from it.

 

The door slams open suddenly, as Sonic kicks it open. He struts in. Tails follows behind, annoyed.

 

TAILS: Sonic, I told you not to do that!

 

SONIC: Okay, we already had the heartfelt "proud of you" moment, you can stop lecturing me now. (points at the mayor's chair) I've got a bone to pick with you!

 

MAYOR: (not turning around) Excuse me?

 

*Tails slaps his hands over Sonic's mouth before he can say anything else.*

 

TAILS: Um, sorry! Please excuse my friend. Mr. Mayor, um, I'm Miles Prower, and this is Sonic the Hedgehog. You've probably heard of us?

 

MAYOR: I have. Who let you in?

 

*Sonic glances back to the hall. He pulls Tails' hands off his mouth. Tails eyes him warily.*

 

SONIC: Nobody. We just kind of walked in.

 

MAYOR: Security?

 

SONIC: Did not want to deal with a supersonic prickly hedgehog and a determined fox.

 

MAYOR: (sighing) Of course. I'm always surrounded by idiots.

 

*The mayor's chair turns around, revealing him to the two heroes. He is an attractive and charismatic human with a clean-cut black beard and short hair. He gives them a bitter smile.*

 

MAYOR: But not for much longer. I suppose I'll introduce myself. My name... is Mayor Stone.

 

TAILS: (nodding) I know. You're the mayor!

 

SONIC: Your identity is a matter of public record!

 

MAYOR STONE: And what do you two want?

 

SONIC: Listen up, you gave a deed to that egghead, and I wanna know-

 

*Tails elbows Sonic in the side. He rubs it, glaring at Tails, but stops talking.*

 

TAILS: Mr. Mayor, you signed a land title deed for Dr. Ivo Robotnik recently to start building in Emerald Town. And, um, we were wondering...

 

MAYOR STONE: (leaning forward, his expression unimpressed) Yes?

 

TAILS: ...Um, you... you, uh, do know that he's kind of... a highly prolific criminal who's tried to take over the world dozens of times?

 

*Tails smiles nervously. He did not expect the mayor's countenance to be like this.*

 

MAYOR STONE: Oh, yes. I know that certain segments of society have deemed the doctor's visionary behaviors to be... undesirable to their personal interests. And I also know that *you two...*

 

*Tails flinches at the venom dripping from Stone's words when he says "you two." Sonic remains calm for the moment, his expression serious.*

 

MAYOR STONE: ...have a personal vested interest in making his life miserable.

 

TAILS: Hey, that's not-

 

MAYOR STONE: BUT, despite your harassment of this brilliant man, I am willing to hear you out. What do you want?

 

TAILS: We, um... (twiddling his fingers, his previously swishing tails now still) ...were hoping you could maybe... revoke the deed?

 

MAYOR STONE: Revoke it.

 

TAILS: Please, sir. Dr. Eggman-

 

*Stone glares at Tails when he says "Eggman."*

 

TAILS: ...Dr. Robotnik is a serious threat to the health and safety of the people of Emerald Town.

 

MAYOR STONE: And why would that be? (Stone leans back in his chair and grins) Dr. Robotnik has assured me that he is a changed man. And I believe him.

 

*There is a glint in Stone's eye that borders on fanaticism. Sonic and Tails begin to realize that they are dealing with someone who already knows what they are going to say, and has no intention of giving them ground.*

 

SONIC: Fine, then, how about this? We expose whatever evil plot that Eggman is hatching, spread the evidence of it all throughout town, and let the voters know just who signed that deed?

 

TAILS: Sonic, that won't...

 

MAYOR STONE: Don't keep up with politics much, do you, hedgehog? I'm not surprised. You're exactly the kind of simple-minded fool who thinks that the world can be fixed through the application of blunt force to "the bad guys" whenever things go wrong.

 

*Sonic bristles, his spines pointing out.*

 

SONIC: What'd you say?

 

TAILS: He's kind of right.

 

SONIC: (through gritted teeth) Now's not the time, Tails...

 

MAYOR STONE: I'm leaving office next week. And I'm retiring from politics. I've found a much... better position. (he steeples his fingers, leaning forward with a smile) I'm looking forward to the Doctor moving in, in fact. He is going to lead Emerald Town to a bright new future. And I'm behind him all the way.

 

SONIC: ...Fine then. We'll just come back when the new mayor takes office! Eggman will be run out of town on a rail in two weeks, tops!

 

TAILS: But we don't have a railway.

 

SONIC: Tails! Stop undermining me!

 

MAYOR STONE: Good luck with that. You want me to revoke the deed? My answer is no.

 

*Stone picks up his coffee cup and turns around, facing the window again.*

 

MAYOR STONE: Now get out of my office. This discussion is over.

 

*Sonic is angry, but completely at a loss for words. He storms out in a huff. Tails looks sadly at the back of the mayor's chair before leaving as well.*

 

MAYOR STONE: Everything is falling into place... Soon, Doctor... Very, very soon...

 

---- ---- ---- ----

 

*Cut to outside, the steps of City Hall. Sonic kicks a rock hard, then sits down dejectedly. Tails approaches and sits down beside him.*

 

TAILS: It's gonna be okay, Sonic. No matter what happens, we'll take care of it.

 

SONIC: Yeah, yeah. But geez, this is why I hate trying to do things official-style. It's way easier to just bust things up.

 

*Sonic sighs, then turns to Tails.*

 

SONIC: ...But thanks, Tails. We've done our best for now. We just gotta hope that soon...

 

*Suddenly, there's a loud rumbling, like the roar of an enormous engine. A huge black shadow begins to be cast over City Hall... and it seems to be spreading across Emerald Town. Sonic looks up. His expression brightens instantly, as he sees an enormous metallic airship in the sky... then another... and another... an entire fleet of them, flanking an enormous floating fortress, approaching the town.*

 

SONIC: (throwing his arms up in triumph) YES! I knew it!

 

*Tails stares at Sonic with narrowed eyes. Sonic glances over at him, and lowers his arms, chuckling nervously.*

 

SONIC: Ahem. Time to go crack that Eggman! Come on, Tails!

 

*Sonic leaps to his feet and blasts away instantly, faster than Tails can keep up. Tails reaches out his hand as he goes.*

 

TAILS: Sonic, wait! Those aren't...! Gah, Sonic!

 

*Tails takes off after Sonic as fast as he can.*

SCENE 6

Spoiler

 

==SCENE 6 - EMERALD TOWN, OUTSIDE THE CONSTRUCTION SITE==

 

*Sonic races to the construction site, skidding to a halt as he arrives. He's so fast, he digs furrows into the concrete as he stops. He lifts up his fists. Eggman, meanwhile, is still hunched over a wooden frame, as his Badniks work on other parts of the project.*

 

SONIC: All right, Eggman, the jig is up! Looks like you played your hand a little early, huh?!

 

EGGMAN: (looking up) What? What are you talking about?

 

SONIC: Little late to play dumb, doc. Your airships are already on the way. Might as well get into your Eggmobile and throw down with me now, huh? Because otherwise, they're gonna show up and find nothing but a cracked egg!

 

EGGMAN: I seriously have no idea what you're talking about. WHAT airships?

 

*Tails arrives, panting heavily.*

 

TAILS: Son-... huff... Sonic... those aren't... Eggman airships...

 

SONIC: What?

 

EGGMAN: Ah, Mr. Prower. It's so much easier for me to converse with an intellectual peer. (he stands up and dusts off his hands) So, what's going on, Tails?

 

TAILS: (starting to catch his breath) Emerald Town is under attack... Or it's gonna be soon, anyway. I knew it wasn't your tech, so...

 

EGGMAN: (nods) I do have distinctive designs... Nice to know someone pays attention. You can probably tell an Eggman original from a mile away, hm? Ha ha ha!

 

TAILS: Well, yeah, I can. But that's not all. I know these airships because I've seen them before. They're...

 

*Tails is interrupted by an enormous explosion sound, as one of the cliffsides is blown to smithereens. The shadow of the floating fortress, and the fleet of airships, flies into view. Eggman looks at them, highly confused. He has never seen this design before. Suddenly, a loudspeaker blares out, loud enough to reach the entire town. A squawking voice begins speaking.*

 

VOICE: Citizens of Emerald Town! Your city is now totally under our occupation! As we speak, all routes into and out of Emerald Town are being blocked by our soldiers, our tanks, and our explosive ordinance! No attempts at escape, calling for help, or, for the truly foolish, resistance, will be tolerated!

 

*A gigantic screen activates on the floating fortress. It shows a strange-looking green bird with a big yellow face, a black square hat, and a red military jacket, sitting in a white throne.*

 

BIRD: Your town is now the dominion of the Battle Kukku Empire! You will now swear fealty to me... the Great Battle Kukku XV! Bwa-HA, HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

 

*Cannons begin firing, blasting up the landscape. Sonic and Tails stare up, both of them clenching their fists. Eggman puts his face in his palm, shaking his head.*

 

EGGMAN: Ugh. Amateurs...

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

 

NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW

Spoiler

 

==NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW==

 

SONIC: I'm Sonic the Hedgehog! Next time, we're gonna have to work together to drive those birds out of town! It looks like we'll have a rough time of it, but I know Tails is gonna come through in the end! And Eggman's there too, I guess. Ugh... but these guys are tougher than I expected. We might need a little extra muscle... Hurry up, Knuckles!

 

SONIC: Next time on the No Way Gang, it's Episode 2: The Flight of the Battle Birds! ...Wait, what's the "No Way Gang"...?

 

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This is a promising start! The dialogue is really fast-paced and funny, and I'm really liking the character interactions a lot so far. Eggman is my favorite, obviously - but they all play off each other really well. Looking forward to the next chapter!

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