"How I survived abusive love"

[vgmaster]

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/art...3&gt1=32023

If I were her, I would've left that asshole al long time ago.

[Vertekins]

Good for her. It's only a pity she didn't get outta there sooner/didn't ring the authorities earlier if she spotted the warning signs so this coward wouldn't have had a chance to lay a finger on her.

There is NO excuse for domestic violence. Too many times i've read about murderer/abuser-defenders giving cold blooded murderers and abusers justification for their deeds by placing empathis on "tragic" backgrounds.

What astounds me about abused women is that they hang onto the false belief that their tormenters can change. It never happens. Once a wife-beater, always a wife-beater as far as i'm concerned. Same goes for cheaters. And don't bring up anger management. Once a man loses his rag with the woman he's supposed to adore, there is no salvation. What disgusts me is that abused women who have children involved place the tormenter before her children. To me, that is lower than low, to give....scum....an opportunity to repeat their cowardly actions potentially against your own flesh and blood.

I myself would not tolerate abuse in the slightest. But then, any man i'd ever pick up would be warned. My guy wouldn't have the opportunity to even lay a finger on me because he'd come off worse for simply instigating it. I don't tolerate possessiveness either.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Verte

[Eileanach]

I need to fully agree with Verte here.

There is never an excuse to beat up someone you love and I think anyone who sits by and lets it happen is obviously scared, but, if someone on the outside looking in notices the signs they should get it reported and fix it. Sometimes people are too scared but they do want it to stop.

I would never put up with it and I would never let it happen to anyone I care for or respect.

I am not saying it's just men that do this though there are abusive women out there and they also need their heads examined. It's not right to be so cowardly and angry that you beat up someone whom you allegedly adore.

[TitanFifty]

Can't think of anything to say other than, good for the woman standing up to him. The diea of domestic violence truly appalls me

[Mollfie]

What astounds me about abused women is that they hang onto the false belief that their tormenters can change. It never happens.

It's because of things like battered women's syndrome etc that so many abused women stay in abusive relationships because they feel like it's their fault and they deserve it. Some fear that if they leave that their partner would abuse them more, or if there are children involved that the children would be hurt.

Also you can't really that you'd never tolerate abuse, even if you are a very tough person. It's just one of those things where you often don't know what you'd do until you're in that situation. Abuse is never just physical, there is always emotional abuse involved too and that is what is the most crippling, hard to tackle and difficult to get over.

Also don't forget that men can, and often are, abused by women. You just don't hear about it as much, and men are less likely to admit that their wife or girlfriend abuses them emotionally or physically.

It's always good to hear about someone standing up to their abuses and getting away from it.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Mollfie

[7Force]

Wife beaters make me sick, i dont think i could keep my cool if i found out someone i know was being beaten i would just end up putting the fucker in the hospital.

[Vertekins]

It's because of things like battered women's syndrome etc that so many abused women stay in abusive relationships because they feel like it's their fault and they deserve it. Some fear that if they leave that their partner would abuse them more, or if there are children involved that the children would be hurt.

Also you can't really that you'd never tolerate abuse, even if you are a very tough person. It's just one of those things where you often don't know what you'd do until you're in that situation. Abuse is never just physical, there is always emotional abuse involved too and that is what is the most crippling, hard to tackle and difficult to get over.

I have grown up silently supporting women's rights and forming my own responses to situations that degrade women, such as marriage and domestic abuse. Let me say that no matter how explicit emotional battering could get, no matter how strong the physical abuse (I mean an instance where I was caught off-guard by a strong but non-fatal incident), I guarantee that my partner would only do it once (If I gave him the chance that is) and he'd never do it again by the time I was through with him. Wouldn't dare. Of course i'd get shot of him but beforehand, i'd make it so he most probably wouldn't touch another woman, let alone me.

I have my ways.

Enigmatic yes. But a man touching a woman is one thing I do not tolerate in any way, shape or form. My ways probably stemmed from my now-not believed in and highly irresponsible former misandric views. But now I know I don't need unbelievably misguided sexist beliefs to maintain my hatred of domestic abuse of women AND men because it should be looked down upon by anyone who is decent.

I've heard stories about women who experienced a first experience of physical and emotional abuse from their partners and these women put a stop to it in it's first showing. It is possible to stem domestic abuse on your first experience but it requires immense strength of character and definately not everyone has that down. So I can thoroughly understand these poor women who deal with it. But when a woman puts these pieces of scum before her own flesh and blood.....that's not right.

[Kevin]

I have to fully agree with Verte. There is no excuse for domestic violence whatsoever, and no, a tragic background isn't an excuse either. Anyone who commits domestic violence deserves to pay their dues for it.

As for the story goes, I'm glad the woman called the authorities and left the relationship. Like Verte said, she should of done it sooner.

[ovarloard]

I don't want to sound insensitive, but because today is April 1st here in America, I'm wondering if this is a joke or not.

If it is, they spent too much time working on it.

But if it isn't, which is most likely the case, then good for her. I don't really understand love much yet, but I still wonder how she can keep loving her husband when he's... like that? It's just not right.

Edited April 2, 2009 by OvErLoRd Darkspine

[Strong Bad]

I have grown up silently supporting women's rights and forming my own responses to situations that degrade women, such as marriage.

Right on!

[DaBatGuy]

Hopefully he's in prison now with the tables turned, being Bubba's bitch instead.

[Mollfie]

I have grown up silently supporting women's rights and forming my own responses to situations that degrade women, such as marriage

How does marriage degrade women?

[Vertekins]

How does marriage degrade women?

I really don't want to go off topic but I don't see what's so harmful about explaining precisely why marriage degrades women.

I hate the roots of marriage. Marriage was primarily a means for a family to sell their daughter, all doled-up to a man who was as high-classed as possible in order to gain wealth. Her own dress was nothing more than a (In my eyes) sinister advertisement, a flashy garment that was a flaunt of falsehood in it's appearance. Those poor girls were used as tools in order for their families to up the family cred and wealth. Marriage may have lost this facet in the western world but it still happens in other countries and even still, what about those horrible convents and institutions women were sent to because they partook in behaviour that was considered unnacceptable for the married/unmarried woman? These poor women, being forced to labor in activities that are fully expected of the enslaved married woman. Heck, married women were thrown into these hellholes if she rebelled against her 'dear' husband and was considered too much of a handful for him.

The last Magdalene Asylum for Fallen women was only closed in 1996. 1996.

Women getting treated like a baby spawner and child raiser in marriage by her 'dear' husband, when divorce was an impossible or very hard to accomplish thing or getting treated like an outcast because she had children or 'disagreeable' behaviour outside of marriage?

Hard choice...

Edited April 2, 2009 by Verte

[Gabz Girl]

God, I'm glad she got away from him. She should've done it much sooner though. I hate domestic violence. It makes me feel really bad inside. I dunno why...

It's strange aswell how you see more abuse against women in couples than the other way round (not saying there ISN'T abuse against men from women of course). Is this because of women being weaker? Or is it the whole stereotypical thing with a man dominating a woman's life during a relationship? It's kinda sad... .__.

[FeathersMcGraw]

It's strange aswell how you see more abuse against women in couples than the other way round (not saying there ISN'T abuse against men from women of course). Is this because of women being weaker? Or is it the whole stereotypical thing with a man dominating a woman's life during a relationship? It's kinda sad... .__.

I actually knew this guy a while back who's father was a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of his wife. She basically pumelled the shit out of him both physically and verbally, but the man was too much of a "Man's man" so to speak to do anything about it, pressumably he didn't want his mates to find out his wife was kicking the shit out of him and he couldn't really bring himself to retaliate due to values and the like. I understand it's fairly rare compared to domestic abuse aimed at women, but as you don't really hear a great deal about it in the media and the like it's kind of interesting to see that it does actually happen.

Eitherway Domestic Abuse of any kind makes me feel physically ill, it's just something about being subjected to extreme violence and abuse in your own home that really gets to me, the thought that for some people that's all they have to look foward to when they get home from work, it's sickening.

[pooshoes]

God, I'm glad she got away from him. She should've done it much sooner though. I hate domestic violence. It makes me feel really bad inside. I dunno why...

It's strange aswell how you see more abuse against women in couples than the other way round (not saying there ISN'T abuse against men from women of course). Is this because of women being weaker? Or is it the whole stereotypical thing with a man dominating a woman's life during a relationship? It's kinda sad... .__.

It's because men are less likely to report domestic violence enacted upon them.

[Thymine]

I really don't want to go off topic but I don't see what's so harmful about explaining precisely why marriage degrades women.

I'm sorry, but I think I beg to differ. While marriage might have different grounds in other countries, right now, atleast in most western countries or in overall, most countries around the world, the view of marriage has changed. The western world has changed, and it's not the same thing that it was 100 years ago. Can you believe that around 60 years ago, black people and white people in the United States where segregated? That they couldn't drink water from water fountains, seat in the same places, go to the same schools, or even take services in the same hospitals? Even if african american rights aren't the same as women's rights it's still very well civil rights, and it's just an example of how time has changed. And you know what? Racism hasn't stopped, but it's very well taken a good turn, same goes with women's rights.

Now I can't agree with most of the things marriage stands for, for example, many religious purposes. But I don't think it presently degrades women. Time has changed. If you want to do something good for women's rights, go and do protests in Saudi Arabia, a country that severly needs help in ALL kinds of civil rights. I think the best way of getting rid of sexism and other civil problems is to act presently, not to retell the past as if the events still where to occur today.

[Strong Bad]

Marriage in itself is a mockery of the Human race and how we're doing it wrong.

It degrades everyone, not only women.

[Thymine]

Marriage in itself is a mockery of the Human race and how we're doing it wrong.

It degrades everyone, not only women.

I'm not making it sound like wonderland either, I'm just stating my points. I think people should choose how they want to live their life, even if that means being 'imprisoned' by marriage. I'm just saying that marriage isn't the same as it was some time ago.

[Vasco]

Marriage in itself is a mockery of the Human race and how we're doing it wrong.

It degrades everyone, not only women.

That's kind of up for each one to decide, isn't it?

[Strong Bad]

The fact that that was my opinion is a given, I'm not going to put "IMO" at the end of every fucking post.